There he was. His perfectly smooth skin. Glistening in the moonlight as the breeze kicked up some leaves loosely strewn about. We leaned in toward each other and...wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me backtrack this a bit:
My name is Madison. I'm a tough, go get'em type girl who has a great sense of style. My hair is a nice mixture of pink and white (what can I say, I'm absolutely fabulous and predictable). So there I am in class. Eyeing my one true love. His name is Darren. The teacher was telling us about the metric system or something like that, I couldn't be bothered though. His red top was so fiery in the dim school lightning that I couldn't help but notice him. Then my heart started racing.
The teacher called on me. My shocked expression clearly elicited a lot of attention from the class and then HE turned around and looked at me. Darren gave me a scolding look. As if he were disappointed that I was misbehaving in class. So I did what every teenage girl would do in this situation and ran from the classroom and went into the bathroom to cry.
My best friend, Karen, came in to help me. She was a pretty girl, long flowing blonde locks of hair. She tried to comfort me and tell me not to get to puffed up about this and that Darren "always" looks that way. She then mentioned that the school dance was coming up this weekend and that I should ask Darren to it. She really believes I could have a chance with him and that was enough to brighten my mood. I returned to class and calmly played it off as though nothing had happened.
Lunchtime came around and I decided it was my chance to ask Darren. He tends to hang around the cool pokemon at school. He was the jock type. Handsome and strong. The only downside is he knew he could have any girl in the school that he wanted and with my eggplant (and that's being generous) body type, I had high doubts that he'd ever be interested in me. Karen told me that smoother edges means smoother love-making. Hopefully Darren could see the same thing that Karen does.
Karen urged me to go talk to him before anyone else asked him. I took some deep breaths, gathered my confidence, and stomped over to Darren. His table eyed me before he turned around and they all became silent. The heat was on. I was the spotlight of attention. As soon as Darren turned around to look me in the face the entire cafeteria was silent. I was freaking out but I had to do this. I love him.
I stumbled on my words and started sweating profusely. I couldn't get anything out. Two embarrassing screw-ups in one day? What's wrong with me? I ran out of the cafeteria and collapsed in the hallway to cry.
As I drowned in my tears, I heard a squeak on the floor. I turned around and it was Darren, all alone. With the most consoling eyes I've ever seen him with. He gave me a nod and I knew. We were going to the dance together. I was ecstatic!
I ran to tell Karen and she was so happy for me. We decided we would get ready for the dance together.
The weekend rolled around and the dance was tonight. I had three hours to get ready and Karen came over to help me out. I wonder what Darren would wear? More importantly, what would I wear!? Karen helped me pick out a lovely silver dress to squeeze into that also flatter my unruly shape. She wore a similar dress so the whole class knew we were best friends and to not mess with me since she was so pretty. I've never felt more beautiful in my life. Darren actually wants to go to the dance with me!
Once we were ready, we got Karen's mom to drop us off at the dance. I walked into the dark room with laser lights and a disco ball on the ceiling. Where was Darren? I couldn't see him anywhere. After a while I was worried he just wouldn't show up to embarrass me. But then there he was.
He came in with his posse and looked right at me with his wispy eyes. He was glistening. It was the most perfect he's ever looked. I probably visibly gasped. He approached me and nodded. Everyone in the class stood back, the DJ put on a slow song, and he leaned against me. We danced every so sensually. The whole class was so happy for us as some of the other couples joined in. It was so romantic.
The night continued as any great middle school dance would. We drank some Sprite and ate some pretzels or something dry and salty, and then Darren decided we should go for a walk outside where it was cooler. He went outside as I told him I'd be right out. I gave Karen a signal to not wait up. She winked back at me and continued dancing with her boyfriend.
Darren was already outside and so I went out to join him.
There he was. His perfectly smooth skin. Glistening in the moonlight as the breeze kicked up some leaves loosely strewn about. I approached him. We leaned in toward each other and I kissed his face. "VOLTORB" he shouts and he lets out a little shock. "WIGGLYTUFF" I shout in response. I've never felt more electrified. I was ready for him and his famous "thunder down under".
"WIGGLYTUFF" I shout again to signal to him that I want to keep going.
"VOLTORB" he shouts as he nudges against me again. The static was real. I felt it deep inside my "wiggly". His glossy metal body was so smooth against my fluffy pudgy belly. It was so magical.
Then it began to rain. We simply just laughed it off and kept going. I knew that all rain would do would intensify his power. I stopped for a second. What would Karen do? It's raining?
Just then Karen comes bolting out of the school and sprints home shouting "NINETALES" the whole way. Darren chuckles with a "vol-voltorb" as I do the same. We decide we should move somewhere a bit more private if we want to continue.
He decides to roll to the nearby abandoned gardening shack on the school grounds. I mention that it's supposedly haunted but he tells me not to worry. He nuzzles against me again and his sparks light up the room as I puff up with the energy surging through me. The energy was real.
Then we hear a creek within the dark shed. "Wiggly...tuff?" I say as I ask who's there.
"HAUNTER!!!!" comes a shout. I screamed and Darren let off a thunder like no other. It lit the room as we found the twins making out! Lawrence and Henrick were twin brothers who everyone knew were weird but why are they making out in a shed? They phase through the walls as they run away and pretend nothing had been happening. Darren and I just laugh it off and decide to continue.
I ask him if he can thunder me. "Vol...torb...." he says mentioning that he's all out of energy. I tell him it's alright and we can continue another time. He then mentions that he's going to be moving tomorrow to Yugoslavia. I ask him if that's even still a country and he pretends to act dumb.
I know Yugoslavia isn't a place anymore. I'm not stupid. I realize now he's just lying to me so that I'll leave him alone after this. He just wanted a one-night-charge and that was it. How dare he use me like that!
I let out the fiercest doubleslap I've ever done and shout to Karen to help me. Karen has fantastic hearing and arrive promptly. I tell her what happened as Darren cowers in the corner after being slapped several times. Karen got fired up and let out a flamethrower that could melt a pebble or something.
Darren was dead. "WIGGLY!?!?!" I shout as I ask Karen what she had done. "NINETALES NINETALES!" She shouts as she frantically tries to figure out what happened. She roasted him to death and now we're going to go to jail.
Unless...we hide the evidence and frame the Haunter twins! "Wiggly, wigglytuff." I say to Karen as I explain my plan to tell a teacher and explain we had walked in on the Haunter twins making out and they killed Darren because he said he would tell on them, but since I'm normal-type they couldn't hurt me and I couldn't stop them.
"Ninetales!" Karen shouts as she figures it's a flawless plan. We run back inside to tell Mr. Krabs, our economics teacher, about what happened. "Money money money!" he shouts as he scrambles outside to see what happened.
He sees the scorched body of Darren, and then shoots a look at Karen. He knows. We were so stupid to think that Mr. Krabs would believe two Haunters managed to burn another pokemon to a crisp. Of course it had to be a fire-type that did it.
We confessed and explained the situation. Mr. Krabs was furious. He was going to walk back into the classroom to call the police on us, but in the heat of the moment Karen let out another furious flamethrower directed right at Mr. Krabs. He was broiled!
We nodded at each other, grabbed his body and agreed to live the rest of our lives as fugitives with our first meal in the wild being delicious Krabby Patties.