Recent content by Manaphyman

Yeah well that 2-3 days didn't happen. Sorry guys. I took time to advance the fic on serebii, which by the way, is three chapters from the climax. At any rate, the rewrites must go on, so here is the new Chapter 8. On Serebii, we're at Chapter 42 btw. Yep. 42. We have some catching up to do...

Welcome readers! You may remember the Prologue of this as my One-shot, O Come O Come Emmanuel; or you may not. I decided, after hearing a song at mass a few months ago, to continue with the concept, and write a Bible-Centric fiction including Pokemon. I have since revised O Come O Come Emmanuel...

Haha well I am quite glad you did, another reviewer is always a plus. I'm glad you liked the gym leader and Deoxys. There are plenty of mistakes, you are right about that, and I do apologize. I'm working at it with my beta, so no worries. :] I'm glad you liked the fighting, its something that...

I think I agree with Shiny Mightyena(Air Dragon) in his assertions about the safari zone and Dratini and such. To me though, its just a minor problem that could be remedied with a quick fix in the near future. I really enjoyed the clonning scene (with Growlithe), although something like vital...

John was very cocky in the prologue, and he is somewhat early in the fic as well. Yet he progresses as a character, and eventually overcomes this. (My bad with the Houndour thing) Yeah, quite fillerish, but I had to throw something in there as I waited for the egg to hatch. John's friends...

A bit different this time, but here I am, with the redone chapter from Serebii. Chapter 7: Torchic and Flare They shuffled their feet, the mood destroyed by the bombshell delivered. Mike and John were devastated, a dark red tarnish now marking their grandfather’s legacy. George and Joey...

Besides the corrections that were given previously, I have two for you now: -You really need to work on description. You nailed the emotional stuff, but your description of the battle scenes and the scenary around Pallet was almsot non-existent. You need to improve that, and make sure the...

Thanks for the review! Yeah since rewriting the prologue, I have switched word programs, so the spelling/grammar mistakes should be limited. Remember what you read was just a prologue, meaning something that happened before the story takes place, setting the tone for the rest of the piece. I...

Bulbagarden has them at 32+ islands, which I can agree with. Despite the size, an island is an island. So while there are only really 16 islands that actually matter, there are still the other 16+ that are incorporated in the region. I just eyeballed all of the "walkable" FR islands and got...

Chapter 6- Kindling the Flame Within “God damn it!” John cursed allowed, startling Eevee in his arms. She shuffled around to face her master; her auburn earns tickling his armpits. She stared at him with her deep crimson eyes, moving her head into a jackknife position to appear cute. <...

Okay, as a fellow Sevii Islands Fanfiction writer, I have lots of critique to give; mostly plot oriented. The Sevii Islands are a seperate entity fom Kanto; they dont have the same starters nor regional government. Most people on the islands havent even heard of Kanto's existence. (Based on...

Chapter 5: Eevee vs. Eevee Well, its updated. Hopefully we'll get some reviews this time. Chapter 5: Eevee vs. Eevee “Gull!” A sharp, shrill caw came from outside the tent, it, coupled with many others; thrust John out of his pleasant sleep. His half opened eyes were greeted with an...

Being one of your betas, you already know my comments, but I felt the need to drop by and give you a little more c & c. I would have prefered the original title : The Trainers Four, but thats okay, I'm sure the choice was for the best. Other than that, no complaints. Everything I had suggested...

In general, how long (in chapters and pages) are your fan fictions? Heh...it depends. One chapter I had was 35 pages long, but I have yet to match that again. Most of my chapters are 10 pages long...15 at most and 9 at the least. I feel like 10 pages is enough for a chapter, and I can cram in...

Heh...forgot about this place. *looks up* I'm gonna play it safe here and just answer the topic, then be on my merry way again. How much of your own characteristics and habits do you put in your characters, most importantly the protagonist(s)? How so? John's akward habits and faults are...