For just backlore for a playthrough I think it suffices.
It's just that when I read through it, it just feels like you avoid mentioning any specifics. Like for example:
"the team of the region, Team Fable, waaaaaaay in the past, made experiments on every 1st stage wild pokemon in the region, by using some kinda flute/some kind of signal ray to make them come to their hq hideout, "
Why not just mention a number or perhaps a general indication of when it was instead of saying 'waaaaaaaay in the past'? And then there's 'some kinda flute/some kind of signal ray'.
Personally I'd just be more specific, like "the team of the region, Team Fable, several hundred years ago, made experiments on every 1st stage wild pokemon in the region. By using their specially designed signal ray they made the Pokemon come to their hideout."
Also this Team Fable doesn't have any mention of their motivation. It just says what they did, what the consequences are, and that they disbanded after their leader having a change of heart. Why did they do those experiments, what were they hoping to accomplish? Why did their leader have a change of heart? Did she realize something on her own or were there events that led up to it?
Team Fable in particular is the biggest thing here that lacks substance imo
Also...
"the legendaries & mythicals have also somehow been affected..... or maybe not.... "
which is it? xD Again a case of no specifics I guess. I guess you might not have made your mind up yet, but just mentioning how they were affected or how they avoided being affected would sound a lot better imo. Like, for example:
-"The legendaries & Mythicals couldn't resist Team Fable's signal ray and have all become more aggressive and undergone a type change."
-"The legendaries & Mythicals were able to resist Team Fable's signal ray and are unaffected by their experiments."
Anyway, I'm hardly a professional writer lol
Just my thoughts =3
It's just that when I read through it, it just feels like you avoid mentioning any specifics. Like for example:
"the team of the region, Team Fable, waaaaaaay in the past, made experiments on every 1st stage wild pokemon in the region, by using some kinda flute/some kind of signal ray to make them come to their hq hideout, "
Why not just mention a number or perhaps a general indication of when it was instead of saying 'waaaaaaaay in the past'? And then there's 'some kinda flute/some kind of signal ray'.
Personally I'd just be more specific, like "the team of the region, Team Fable, several hundred years ago, made experiments on every 1st stage wild pokemon in the region. By using their specially designed signal ray they made the Pokemon come to their hideout."
Also this Team Fable doesn't have any mention of their motivation. It just says what they did, what the consequences are, and that they disbanded after their leader having a change of heart. Why did they do those experiments, what were they hoping to accomplish? Why did their leader have a change of heart? Did she realize something on her own or were there events that led up to it?
Team Fable in particular is the biggest thing here that lacks substance imo
Also...
"the legendaries & mythicals have also somehow been affected..... or maybe not.... "
which is it? xD Again a case of no specifics I guess. I guess you might not have made your mind up yet, but just mentioning how they were affected or how they avoided being affected would sound a lot better imo. Like, for example:
-"The legendaries & Mythicals couldn't resist Team Fable's signal ray and have all become more aggressive and undergone a type change."
-"The legendaries & Mythicals were able to resist Team Fable's signal ray and are unaffected by their experiments."
Anyway, I'm hardly a professional writer lol
Just my thoughts =3
