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Shining Raichu
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  • It's a phenomenon I think I shall refer to as sh*t-blindness ;) it's like snow-blindness, except with sh*t. Mountains of sh*t. Stupid outrageous sh*t. And you think I'm kidding but I bet this is actually his conscious and deliberate policy when dealing with the media. ('What's the one thing guaranteed to draw attention away from a scandal? AN EVEN BIGGER SCANDAL!') That may actually be weirdly smarter than we realise, in an entirely twisted, amoral and f**ked-up kinda way. :P

    Mother country, she be calling me home! Yes, soon I shall return and began to reproduce in earnest, also, helicopter parent, ME, how very dare you, I simply know What's Best for Them and if they disagree I'll just spank them until they change their minds. Yes, spank them. At the age of thirty-six. Momma gotta be cruel to be kind to her babies.


    As for what happens to you in the twilight years of your life... ;) I'm pretty sure you went to a roadhouse diner, ordered too many pancakes and the resulting cholesterol exploded through your veins with such ferocity that it catapulted you out of said diner and straight into a care facility. The Oracle hath spoken. ;)

    Bah, I prefer UK Netflix to the Yank version, truth be told. More British sh*t. ;) grumble grumble nationalism grumble. When I were a lad we had one channel on the box and we were GRATEFUL.

    ...also I've missed you more ;) xxx
    Oh god it's been so long D:
    I still remember Hikari's lesbisn debacle, that was hilarious omfg
    4 years is quite the wait lol. Didn't think it was that long!

    And yeah, just a little bit haha!
    Long time no see! How's everything going?
    ...I kid ;) no, seriously, if anyone should gone all brain-smooshed it's me. I'm the one living in the Glorious Fatherland of our Dear and Supreme Leader, President Donald J. Trump, Hallowed be his Name, He Who is the Trinity, the One, the All, the Father, the Son and the Holy Satsuma. Yeah. ;) actually, after election day, it's all surprisingly calmed down over here. Bit of an anti-climax, to be honest. I sort of wish Trump had come over and drop-kicked me out of the country to land on my filthy foreign arse, it would at least have been a story to tell the grandkids. (Of which I shall have twelve, and you will be the godfather. And don't you dare tie any of them in a sack and drown them.)

    I wasn't at that correspondent's dinner, no ;) I mean I was invited, but you know, busy elsewhere. YES I WAS F**K OFF, the cat needed seeing to. (And that came out considerably more dodgily than I intended, but what the hell, it's typed now.) Isn't it mad how just, um, how, uh... how fuckin' NUTSO he is, though? And Fox News is just as ghastly as everyone says it is, by the way. My landlady's a fan, so I've had to put up with it blasting from the other room since September. When Bill O'Reilly went, I fucking cheered. But anyway. :P

    I ENTIRELY agree, PokeCommunity is our chosen and sacred forum ;) I dunno, it just doesn't feel the same anywhere else. This ancient and relicish vBulletin message board has a quaint charm to it unlike anything else on the internet, and wow I just realised I sound like the type of grandmother who bitches about those newfangled iKindles because they don't smell like paper. Oh well, f**k it. ;) There is something special about this place, haha. And continue to converse we shall... at least until 44 years from now, when you die a slow and gruesome death at the hands of an enraged and underpaid care worker. (My money's on them drowning you, after a long and concerted campaign of guerrilla warfare which you begin after swearing revenge against all who keep you imprisoned. Think Professor X in that tank in Logan and you're not too far off.)

    You and yer f**kin' MacBooks, honestly ;) ooh, I'm a lot more sweary now, aren't I? I'm not sure how I feel about that. America has coarsened me. I'm no longer the flower I once was. Also, on an entirely unrelated now, it's presently 06:28am and I've been up since roughly 06:30pm yesterday night, which tells you everything you need to know about my FUCKED-UP lifestyle right now. It's all parties, drink, drugs, models and Tinseltown. On my laptop. On Netflix. While I lie, alone, in the dark, sobbing quietly over an ancient episode of the OC. See, you're not the only one who can go dark. :P

    Also good christ, you needed a new gaming laptop AND a MacBook? The other luxury devices I shall simply gape at in silence, as befits my station as a lowly, state-suckling student presently swimming in enough debt to sink the Titanic all over again. (Titanic II! Now THERE'S an idea for a sequel. © me, 2017.) I'd jump at the chance to clean hotel rooms, I wo- okay, no I wouldn't, but the point's moot, I'm not allowed to work on this visa. Which is f**king weird, I know. But regardless, HA HA HA, TWENTY-SIX F**K ME THAT'S OLD

    p.s. oh I have MISSED this ;) xxx
    WHAT NO OKAY. I'm a bumface, in a major sort of a fashion, and the only feeble defense I can muster is that I TOTALLY DID MEAN TO drop you a snarky little line on December 31st ;) something along the lines of 'in b4 2017', you know, making light of my staggeringly late lateness. (Speaking of which, 2017? It's 2017 now? F**k me, seriously. How. What. Why. I DON'T WANT TO BE OLD LIKE YOU :'(( make the future go away, Andy, make it stop.

    Anyway, hmmm, new record... quite possibly ;) although we've been flaky as f**k before, I do remember. But the important thing, he said airily, waving one dismissive hand, is that this conversation NEVER ACTUALLY DIES, no! One of us always remembers in the end and comes back to apply long-awaited CPR and a big wet smackeroonie, and that makes me happy. ;) Anyway. Where were we?

    Well, October, by the looks of things :O bloody hell, that's a while back. I got hellishly busy as well, I'm sad to report :( but it's all over now :D winter semester, begone, and now I look onward to... GODDAMMIT THERE'S A SPRING ONE, OKAY. ;) But for a few weeks I am freee! Gloriously free. And playing rather a lot of Star Wars Battlefront, like the fundamental waste of oxygen that I am. Students, ehh? :P

    Shut up though I must have more interesting news than that ;) been doing quite a lot more animation :3 which has been very nice, yes. Yes. /gollum Nothing I can show off yet, sadly, but sooon... I hope ;) also, remember that short sci-fi movie I was talking up a storm, ooh, six months ago? Still working on that :3 well, actually, we finished a first pass but it was what you might call Severely Lacking in the visual area, so I'm reduxing the whole thing from the ground up. Which you can do, because it's all shot on greenscreen, hehe. ;) Lots of staring at asteroids and spacecraft interiors. Iz fun :D

    anyway that's enough about me, how goes you and your life? :3 tell me all, for it has been much too long, and I miss you. :) although I will totally understand if you forget to check this for another month ahahaha ;)

    love from Trump's America xxx
    gooood! very excited for winter break because school is currently pretty annoying. also apparently i have a blue username now so that's pretty cool i guess.
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