Recent content by TheBloodyShiner

Ok, ok i give in. I always thought that putting a double break between all dialouges was a lazy way of making it longer, but i'll change all of them ok?

I really have no idea what you mean, any jumps to the next line are new speaker, so it's easier to track who's speaking. Slayr231 picked up on that in his/her first review and hasn't said anything about it since. The new paragraph is fully broken up. Thanks for another helpful bit of advice...

I am still having lots of problems i see, well the entire chapter was meant to introduce the hardships of the life there, no energy, not much safety, and all topped off by extremists wanting to eradicate the population of F1. This only pops up now, and i haven't developed on it. Granted i will...

Chapter 2: A New Fight on the Horizon On our way we heard an explosion. I started to run, it was the only source of supplies on the whole of F1, we can't let it blow up! We had to see what was happening. We reached the edge of the city when we heard “Rhyhorn! Horn attack!” Finally getting a...

Well, it's good to see that there are less problems. Once again thank you for the help. But once again i just need to clear some things up. I trust auto correct a lot myself, i just looked it up and you are right. Allot means to distribute between things i.e [Allot 10 minutes for the...

You might want to add a "What TO do" section I started reading it as a what not to do and then saw the bottom one "Be constructive" Just a heads up I just think you'll get some laughs for it.

First off, I'm going to thank you for being the first to write a review. I'm glad you like the concept I really appreciate the advice and i hope i learn from this and improve the writing. Just to note i will be editing chapter 1 and moving it to another post so that the original post can be a...

Thank you for clicking on this fic. Although this is my first fic i spent a long time perfecting the first chapter. The original version was admittedly... Full of mistakes, check the first reply... So i edited out all of the problems and reposted, so that this could become a contents page...