Wolf in the Rain

No worries. My response time is less than stellar even without a concussion. <.<' Sorry to hear that -- I hope you're doing better.

Yay! ^^ ...you know, that sounds kind of like the Internet.

Those were goblin lessons, not gremlin lessons...

Sounds like a plan. ^^

It's not your fault. I'm really, really messed up in the head. Believe me, you're not the only one this keeps happening to. >.<

And sorry to hear that, I hope you recover as best you can. Will you be okay?

You matter to me as a friend. I just need to suck it up...or get help or...something, idk. Why does it have to be so complicated >.<

No problem, and ouch.Hope your alright.

Can't find you on Skype, not sure why. You play LoL too cool :) I play Garen a lot. Betting your not on EU West, cuz that's what I'm on.

i can't do this. My life is on the fast track to nowwhere. I don't deserve to even know, much less be associated with you, or any of the others.

... *offers potion*

You think I speak gremlin?

Arrrrgh.

If I could get all this busy school things figured out so that I had the time, that would be kewl. ^^' I don't think I have the time for it right now, but once things get more into a rhythm and less of "everything is just starting now rawrrrrr" it might work. :3

Been busy, what with exams and work. Some of the other RPers have also invited me with them as they leave pokecommunity but I'm only partially leaving for the moment. Also do you have Skype?

I keep swapping between thinking i have the disorder and not, from all the swapping between trying to push you guys away, and clinging to you, and getting hurt and jealous when you do things without me (even though it shouldn't matter, for any of you), and...it goes on and on. Maybe I'm just making excuses.

I think, I'm stable enough to make a rational inferrance, I think why I'm so obsessed with league and why I'm trying so hard to improve and getting so upset when i don't appear to, is because i want to impress you and validate myself in comparison to your rl friends...I know you probably don't think so, but I still feel markedly inferior to them by the simple virtue of not being rl. I want to do so well at the game that I impress you AND them, and...honestly I don't know what comes after. From a logical standpoint it doesn't make sense, but...psychological disorders aren't logical. No matter how much I tell myself I shouldn't care so much, I still spend every free moment practicing my ass off, I still get angry at myself when I don't seem to show any improvement between games, and I still get depressed when I see you simply clean house game after game. I know it doesn't make sense, but I just can't make myself stop.

Gah...sorry I keep causing trouble...the disadvantage of a nutcase for a friend ^^"

EDIT: Come to think of it, that's probably an influence, too. I feel even more unworthy of being your friend because I keep causing drama and trouble, which in turn leads to my issues becoming worse...it's a vicious cycle.

"No regret 'cause i've got nothin' to lo-ose~
Ever STRAY~AY~AY~
So I'm gonna live my life as I choo-oose~
'Cause all things fall~
STRAY~"

I think I'm losing it. I feel like I'm starting to become unhinged.

Ha...you really picked a nutcase for a friend.

"Would I be alright showin' myself to you?
It's always been so hard to do~
STRAY!"

it's okay...

It's just kind of intimidating, that's all...I wanna get good at the game so we can play together without me holding you back, but idk if I'll ever reach that point.

I'm starting to realize that solo q isn't very reliable for practice. Knowing my champ and and the tactics doesn't matter much if either my team or their team does so poorly/so great that the game snowballs one way or the other without my performance making any sort of difference at all. Lost a game yesterday because even though I outlaned lux pretty effectively, the rest of my team fed theirs, so when the teamfights broke out we kept getting aced while they were so built and tanky we could barely take one of them down. And just now, I was outlaned slightly by a diana, it was a good challenge, but the game was over in 20 because my teammates curbstomped their lanes.

Seriously, man, you go legendary almost every game...how did you get that good?

I think I just found a best friend

I'm not new, this is my third account.

Zerin > TokushiAkio > WolfOfEve

Best Anime of all time. Deep story, wonderful plot, amazing characters, and great twists and turns.

;.;

I'm sorry, it's the Internet gremlins! They're holding the DSL cable hostage!

...no.

We could. I could talk to Mira, too, see if she's interested. Mira and I had a plan for an RP a long time ago, we just never did anything with it since we had the Uprising. So that might be an option. (On a somewhat kind of not really related note -- sorry for disappearing for so long. I just moved in and school is starting, so things are kind of crazy and I'm not sure how much time I will/won't have.)

Wolf's Rain, WOO~!

Okay, I will.

That's all right. I'd still like to play with you every now and then though, if that's okay.

Sorry to hear it's going so rough. Don't overdo it; burnout can really screw you over. And I hope it will for ya too.
See ya tomorrow, maybe. ^^

Don't know why I didn't get a notification for that message. Oh well.

The usual, maybe moreso. Starting to...idk, stagnate I guess would be the best term.

And...sorry about league. Had a big breakdown a while back and ended up doing a lot of stupid ****, including removing you from my friends list on there. I thought that seeing you on all the time but never getting to play with you was causing some of it, and i thought taking you off would help. I don't really want to say whether or not that's truth. All I know is, I'm 34 now and slowly making progress. I'm not going to make the mistake of assuming we can play now, but when I hit 30, you think we could play more, whenever you have the time, I mean? Or...really, do anything. I mean whenever you get the time, like you're not swamped with college and soccer and stress and life and all that. I know you're busy, and I don't wanna cause trouble with that. (I actually wish I could help, but...dik what I can do to help with regards to all that. You're probably smarter than me so it's not like I can offer homework help or anything.)

And sorry for the way I keep acting. Thankfully though, I'm scheduling myself for some psychological screening, so whatever the hell is wrong with me, i can figure it out and get it treated. Or else just get put in a mental hospital somewhere so I can't keep messing with peoples' lives.

Anyways, sorry for long message. just had things to say.

EDIT: By the way, how IS the soccer going?

How's things?

hi