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Old July 23rd, 2008 (10:18 AM).
Sydian's Avatar
Sydian Sydian is offline
  • Crystal Tier
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Alabama
Age: 24
Nature: Timid
Posts: 32,086
Um. Excuse me, but what is this?

When he got their, Oak was standing next to a rock.
You used the wrong one. It should be 'there'. Check out the Grammar Sticky in the lounge.

including Seed Flare, Grass Know, and Solorbeam.
Proofreading is key. And it's solar, not solor.

Anyway, this thing is horribly lacking in description, and I don't even know what you were trying to accomplish. This story makes no sense at all, which is why description is needed. Badly.

Ash walked into it and there on a bed of flowers he say a mysterious pokemon that looked like a little hedgehog with a green back and a flower on his face.
Okay, look. In this sentence, I have no clue what you're trying to convey. It's a run-on sentence. Major. And Shaymin doesn't have a flower on its face. The flower is on the side. When I read that, I'm thinking of a Shaymin with a flower smack on his face.

This needs work. Go check the stickies in the lounge.

≫ they took a little look at my heart
they found a prince living behind bars ≪

challenges | klippy