All These Years (One-Shot)

Shortest one-shot ever?

All These Years

Ash gazed at the elegant figure in front of him. It was quite apparent that she had been crying, as her eyes were puffy and red. Normally, that would be quite repetitive to the average person, but this just made him like her more. Her fists were clenched and shaking, but with anger, fear or sorrow, he could not tell. She was wearing the same yellow t-shirt and blue shorts she had worn when he first met her. Ash took a deep breath in, remembering and realising how badly he wanted to reminisce about the old days with her without the same hostile atmosphere that had followed their conversations for so long. Perhaps the past was a good place to start his apology. Ash thought about it, staring at her while she returned his gaze. The girl in front of him shook her head, smiling in a bittersweet way. If he didn't start talking now, he'd miss his chance.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Do you remember back when we were younger than we are today? I barely can. I recall asking my mom where my daddy was and she told me that he had gone away on some urgent business and we probably wouldn't see him again. Before I became a Pokemon trainer, I felt empty inside. In school, I had no friends. Everyone thought I was too childish and emotional and I can't blame them. Once, in school, when we were learning about how to keep a Pokemon who has been poisoned from fainting, I stood up and fell to the ground, writhing and screaming in supposed agony. I didn't feel any pain, I just thought it was funny. My teacher thought I was having a fit and she made all the other children leave the classroom. When I told her that I was messing, I was suspended for a few days because I needed to grow up.

"I blamed my dad for my misfortunes in life; having no friends, having no Pokemon as pets, having to put up with Gary. He never came home, never sent a letter to me and mom didn't tell me anything. Eventually, I just forgot about him and decided that no matter what, I'd become the very best. I realised not too long ago that I had this empty feeling inside of me before I became a Pokemon trainer, as if I was suffering from depression. The day I was given Pikachu, that feeling disappeared.

"Thinking back, it wasn't the exact moment that I received Pikachu that made the depression disappear. It was later on that day, when I ran into you and stole your bike. I know we didn't have the greatest first impressions of each other, but I looked in your eyes for a second as I grabbed your bike and you know what? I felt happy and sad. I felt scared and relieved. I felt anxious and outgoing. In truth, I don't know what I felt, but it was amazing and whatever it was, it was because of you.

"They say that people's faces can lie to you because they can be controlled, but the eyes never lie. When I looked into your eyes that day, they told mine that we were in love, even if we didn't know it. I know it now and you know it as well. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love me." When she didn't reply, he sighed and opened his eyes. "I can't force you to do anything, Misty. We all make our own decisions, but I need you to look into my eyes and tell me that you don't love me."

The red-haired girl took a few steps to get closer to him and looked him in the eyes. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out.

Ash closed his eyes again. "I know that what I've done in the past few days was horrible and no one needs to know about it. We'll keep it as a secret between ourselves and learn from it, because everyone learns from their mistakes. Maybe this event will build our bond and make us become closer to each other than ever, but only if you let it." He opened his eyes and looked into hers, willing her to give an answer.

She looked at him. He was a twelve year old now. Ash wasn't the same goofy kid he was a few years ago. He had matured quite a lot, enough to realise he was in the wrong. He was wearing the same red and white hat he was wearing when they first met. Maybe he was wearing it as symbol of everything that had come and gone, like their friendship. No, Ash wasn't profound enough for that. His black hair was still a greasy mess, but she had to admit that it went rather well with his blue jacket that wasn't zipped in order to let people see the black t-shirt behind it. His jeans were way too small and could have easily been mistaken for shorts, but Misty knew better than that. He was wearing the exact same clothes he had been wearing on the day he stole her bike. Ash was playing the nostalgia card.

"I know you forgave me for stealing your bike and I know you can forgive me for what I've done now. Besides, I fixed up your bike and returned it, didn't I? Maybe I can do a similar think now." Ash looked at her, shaking his head, preparing to break down in tears.

Misty took a deep breath.

"Wait." Ash interjected her train of thought, thinking he had to get the last word in, as usual. "Before you say anything, I just want you to know that I'm sorry." He felt a tear fall down his face. He felt more and more slide down from his eyes as she didn't reply.

Misty outstretched her right hand and grabbed his left. "It's okay."

Before Ash knew what to reply, Misty kissed him. The kiss was so rushed and clumsy that they banged cheekbones, but it was enough to tell Ash all he needed to know.

Wow, this was a pretty good short story (by no means, the shortest one that I've ever read...or written for that matter). The only real concern I've got, Rekhyt, is that this seems kind of like it'd be more of a shipping fic and, even then, only because it involved Ash and Misty and because she kissed him in the end.

It was a short and sweet story.

I liked the way you built it up, but I felt like it wasn't descriptive enough as Ash was crying.
"Feeling a tear" is way overused. If you can come up with some other way to say that - please change it.

I'm at a loss for words here, but I liked it.

Romance from Rekhyt. Ah, interesting, I must say. Never read any romances from you.

Anyway, all I can say is that this story makes me want to support PokeShipping. And that's saying something. Well done.

I'm going to be blunt here and say that while it was an okay story, I feel like you fell into that dangerous trap that's nearly inevitable for all romance stories:

These characters are OOC.

So, it's about two years since Ash left Pallet Town to become a trainer, right? Ergo, we've got sweet and completely incompetent Ash Ketchum and tomboyish but doesn't-take-****-from-anyone Misty. Let me rewind. Sweet and completely incompetent Ash Ketchum. As in, he once confused the word "stalker" with the word "streaker."

And yet, he's suddenly eloquent? I mean...

In school, I had no friends. Everyone thought I was too childish and emotional and I can't blame them. Once, in school, when we were learning about how to keep a Pokemon who has been poisoned from fainting, I stood up and fell to the ground, writhing and screaming in supposed agony.

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While this is good description, I don't think Ash, at the age of twelve, would know what "writhing" means. Or "supposed." Or "agony." Generally, he sounds like a pretentious rich kid or a Shakespearean scholar, not Ash Ketchum. Ash Ketchum would be more prone to speaking with a more laid back tone, possibly with more contractions and smaller, simpler words. Yes, he's two years older, but let's face it. If time marched on logically, he'd be at least twelve now. You really think he's changed all that much in the way of speech?

Not to mention I just don't feel as if Ash would be one to have no friends. Pallet is a pretty tiny town, and even then, despite the fact that he was annoying as crap when he first started out, it's not like everyone and their mother stayed away from him. Brock got buddy-buddy with him pretty quickly. He was quick to help Seymour (the scientist in "Clefairy and the Moon Stone") and thus bought himself an acquaintance. Joe (the kid in "The School of Hard Knocks") seemed to like him, as did Giselle by the end of the episode. I don't think he was really all that unlikable. Not to mention, hidden depression? Ash seemed like a happy kid to me when he first started out. I feel like he wasn't really thinking about anyone but himself up to a point, maybe when Pikachu got injured because of his stupidity.

And as for Misty? She says only two words the entire time, and they're gentle words. If this is post-Togepi, gentleness might be plausible, but I don't think she's the sort of person who just lacks anything to say. If it's pre-Togepi, she'd very readily get up and walk out halfway through Ash's speech.

Concerning grammar, I only really picked up on one:

I recall asking my mom where my daddy was, and she told me that he had gone away on some urgent business and we probably wouldn't see him again.

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This is a compound sentence. Replace the word "and" with a period, and you'll find yourself with two complete ones. Hence, comma. (There doesn't need to be one before the other "and" simply because you're implying that the word "that" can occur just after it.)

Also, this is a bit inconsistent with canon anyway. Ash knew his father was a trainer. His mother was really open about it, mentioning it in both the first and second episodes.

And as a nitpick, I feel as if Ash would be prone to using the word "dad," considering he doesn't call his mother "mommy."

Overall, while the story was okay, I feel as if you could've substituted a pair of original characters in and got the same results. These just aren't the Ash and Misty I'm familiar with, and yeah, I found it was a bit hard to get through because of that. Anal, but handling canon characters as true to canon as possible in a fic that centers around them, I feel, is a bit important. I feel like you could've done better, and it really was a distraction for me.

While this is good description, I don't think Ash, at the age of twelve, would know what "writhing" means. Or "supposed." Or "agony."

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In Rekhyt's defense, I knew what those meant when I was twelve, if not eleven.

But even still, it's Ash, so I see what you're saying, but of course, you don't have to be a rich kid or a Shakespearean scholar to know those words so young.

SilverSmeargleSplatter said:

of course, you don't have to be a rich kid or a Shakespearean scholar to know those words so young.

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True, but to use them to describe your own pain just sounds like something straight from a Shakespearean tragedy. Or goth poetry.

It was very good to me.
But Its to short,add a couple of chapters then that should completely fine!!!

Squirturtle_ said:

It was very good to me.
But Its to short,add a couple of chapters then that should completely fine!!!

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Um... Squirturtle?
It's a one-shot.
You don't add chapters to a one-shot.

Now if you mean he rewrites it in a new thread, adding chapters leading up to that point then yes, he could do that. (Or he could always start over and make an extremely long 3 post one-shot to satisfy the masses ;p)