Male
Topeka KS USA
Seen October 22nd, 2010
Posted August 1st, 2010
98 posts
10.3 Years
That's honestly not good. I'm sure the fifth chapter is the chapter you are most excited about writing, but that doesn't mean you should post lesser quality work until you get there.

I'm going to come back to this later and give a full review. Right now, though, I'm stuck on the choices for the starter Pokemon. Abra and Gastly I can kind of understand, since they fit as starters. But I'm really stuck on the idea of a Vaporeon. It's a fully evolved Pokemon, already giving Jessica an advantage over the boys, since her Pokemon is stronger than theirs.

And I'm really wondering why you didn't finish chapter one in the same post.

Right now though, until I can get back to this and actually review it, my suggestion would be to slow down your writing/posting speed.
it's not so good still a rough draft once i get some more replies i can go back and get more ideas. I was thinking of changing the Vaporeon to a Poliwag but i need an almost complete water pokemon?