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[Pokémon] Dusk Brawler [M]

Bay

6,388
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17
Years
  • More of a lull chapter after that heist, but that's fine. That dream there sure is something, especially with the corpses and Sam being shot. Yup, seems that blue eye won't get away anything soon.
     

    Bay

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  • Sam shook his head and reached down for Luna's pokeball, but as his fingers tightened around it, his throat tightened, and sweat trickled down his neck.

    Minor, but you have "tightened" twice in one sentence there.

    Ouch on another lost. I wonder if Sam's opponent there have an idea about his powers and is able to be one step ahead of him. The voice is right though Sam promised that Luna wouldn't get hurt. Would be interesting if Luna feels some hesitation towards him.
     

    Bay

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  • Sam seeing other people with the Black Crow costumes must be unnerving for him. The publicity must be spiraling out of control more than he thought.

    >killing everything in the room so there's no one to see you in the first place.

    Sam had no words with which to answer the homicidal voice in his head. Recognizing the blunder it had just made, the voice said, I'll shut up now.

    Okay this part made me laugh.

    The samples and Project Omega, huh? Am curious where that goes.
     

    Bay

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  • ?Wait, what??

    ?I asked, what are you going to do??

    This could be a good opportunity to have the doctor be more smug there. Besides that, perhaps a couple more body language reactions as Sam was talking to the voice in his head? Otherwise, Darkrai, huh? I think I'm beginning to see the connections between this story and your past ones more clearly now, hm.
     

    Bay

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  • So it's Darkrai that's been talking to Sam. And that Arkus name drop there. Their deal there should be interesting to see how it unfolds.

    I do like some of the emotion you have with Sam having doubts whether to let Luna get that extra boost. Third time's the charm, right?
     

    Bay

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  • Well, while it's nice Sam finally won against that trainer, Luna being bloodthirsty oh wow. I'm pretty sure that will cause even more problems down the road.

    Speaking of Chainsaw's trainer, I wonder if she felt all the pain the same way Sam did with Luna during that battle. It would be also nice to see some sort of reaction from Chainsaw's trainer (or perhaps her being hurt if her and Chainsaw sync like Sam and Luna there).
     

    Bay

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  • Ah oh, looks like both Brandon and Sam's secrets are coming to bite them. It did seem like a while since we got some interactions between Brandon, Sam, and Emily, and I look forward to the aftermath of this particular scenario.
     

    Bay

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  • The play Sam participated in sounds like it could be fun even if it's your typical high school drama (also props for Darkrai helping Sam out heh). Welp, Brandon dropped that bombshell there, and in front of the crowd nonetheless. You did have her disgusted when Brandon mentioned seeing his Pokemon, but I think I would have like for her to call out to Sam as he was leaving also. Otherwise, looks like Sam's relationship with his friends is going downhill from there.
     

    Bay

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  • Not a surprise that Sam will retire as "Black Crow," though I admit that heist went by in a flash (though that's because of Sam having Darkrai's powers). If that's the same Chihiro as the one from your last story, well Sam will have a swell time dealing with her.

    Mulling over this a bit, but the several plotlines you have going on (Sam's brawling, his heists, Darkrai/powers) does get a bit overwhelming. Not that it's bad, but it does make me wonder what kind of character development you have for Sam since there are so many things going on now for him. I'm still enjoying this overall though and look forward to what you have in store.
     

    Bay

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  • Sam and Darkrai had their hands full during that fight there. On top with brawls and Darkrai, he gets a Pokemon transformation too. I don't blame him breaking down, which I really like at the end there. Something tells me you want him to suffer big time (half joking, half interested to see where this goes).
     

    Bay

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  • "Sorry about that, the commissioner walked by. So, after that turned up nothing, I decided to check on tax records, and to my surprise, Martha Bayson makes an impressive amount of money for owning an arts and crafts shop that doesn't turn up very high on a quick google search.

    So are Alex and Sam's mom related? lol

    Oh, so Sam became an aggron last chapter huh? Was thinking some kind of steel type yeah. Anyways, ouch over Johnny's murder and Alex finding out about Project Omega doesn't sound good for him.

    ...And well, while I expect he would be captured, I admit to not seeing Alex take THAT route (even with the chapter title heh). Wow.
     

    Bay

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  • Martha's involvement with Project Omega is a big bombshell there. I admit to wondering about Sam's father, but I thought he probably isn't all that important to the story hence why I didn't mention anything. And well, that answers my concern there lol. Also looks like Sam can transform into a variety of Pokemon, not just one. His reaction towards his mother isn't pretty, but understandable considering he had been through a lot.

    Sam curled up in his bed and called out Luna. He sank his face into her fur, but she recoiled and hissed at him. When he didn't let go, Luna swiped at him, leaving long, shallow gouges in his cheek. Though those wounds knitted themselves back together almost instantly, the blow to his heart nearly ruined him.

    Oh dear. =< Luna's behavior already changed dramatically from the last brawl, but this part is still upsetting.
     

    Bay

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  • (tries to post this review before you update next chapter lol)

    Darkrai snapped Sam's fingers. As Marainne fired off another moonblast, Luna answered with a dark pulse that seemed to eat the light in the whole room. The dark pulse collided with the moonblast in the center of the arena. Gouts of fire and showers of sparks rained down on the concrete. The darkness pushed the light back a few feet, and then jets of it streamed over Marianne's attack. The stream of light dwindled to a sphere surrounding Marianne as Luna's dark pulse pushed forward. Light feebly glowed in the heart of the stream of darkness, flickering like a candle. As the seconds passed, the light dwindled, until it vanished completely. Marianne hit the kinetic barrier with a thunderous boom, and the darkness ceased.

    I like the descripiton here, but I feel the use of "stream" got a bit repetitive there.

    Not surprising Brandon would use Marianne there, though interesting he used Mega Evolution there. The battle itself did felt quick, but still fairly enjoyable. Would have like a bit more closure between Sam and Brandon, but Darkrai taking over Sam's body prevents that I guess. The upcoming meeting over at Sinex Headquarters doesn't sound too good, oh boy.
     

    Bay

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  • Oh yeah, now I remember that Mewtwo as Doctor Taka's companion (of sorts) from your last story. Woah over the return of Arkus, and Sam/Darkrai's alliance with Chihiro (or well, I think that's her at the very end there) shall be interesting.
     

    Bay

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  • Wow, chapter starts with destruction already and Brandon going against Darkrai/Sam. Poor Brandon losing Marianne there. Good that Sam managed to break free, not great his Pokemon went against him and looks like he's outnumbered (agreed he shouldn't have spoken rashly either, just saying. =P) Looks like Brandon is in between the crossfire, he should get away when he has the chance
     

    Bay

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  • At the top of one, he saw the body of Luna, sans head and both its front legs, impaled upon the spiky shell of a chestnaught.

    This is totally not okay. Nope nope nope. ;_;

    Yeah, you're right that this chapter got pretty violent fast there, but that's expected when you have a legendary making a whole bunch of Pokemon tearing at you. The ouroboros sword especially sounds gruesome and unsettling. I think only a chapter or two left? Getting close to the home stretch!
     

    Bay

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  • So I noticed several references concerning pink goo and can't help but think

    Spoiler:


    Darkrai calling a certain special guest dad also caught my attention. Seems things are coming full circle. Also Brendon seems to still be in the crossfire there. He's going to have fun see how the finale will go down welp.
     

    Bay

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  • Welp, Arkus and Chihiro's reunion didn't get off to a good start there. At least Mewtwo is on Arkus and Sam's side. Man, it's been a while since Ty'mir and Lorende has been mentioned, the price for admiration, huh? Glad you're makign sure there are a few more extra chapters since looks like you'll be connecting everything together now!
     

    Bay

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  • I don't think I've asked this before, but Lorende pretending to be Arkus made me realize something; can Arkus use Zoroark's ability to change into another Pokemon? Or he can't? Not sure if you brought that up before, so if you did I probably forgot.

    I admit the POV this chapter got confusing to me at first since it seems you're mixing Lorende and Sam's thoughts there, but it serves it purpose considering they're, as you said, "the other side of the coin." But yeah, conflict of interest on what to do with Darkrai there. Looks like the battle with Darkrai is coming to its conclusion!
     

    Bay

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  • A seed of an idea took shape in his mind, one that grew as its roots entangled stray memories and shaped them into a cohesive narrative. Lorende, guised as a human, strapped to the same machine as row after countless row of humans, died, ripped apart by the grappling, incompatible powers that slew everyone else. No, not simply dead, but blown apart, reduced to a bloody smear on the walls and ankle-deep puddles on the floor, all burned and congealed into sticky black paste. No bones, no heads, not even clothes remained to mark the dead. Dead, destroyed, because of him.

    I remember this scene from your last story, still pretty gruesome.

    I admit, something about Sam able to transform into arceus is kinda unsettling in a "oh my gosh he got powers from several legendaries now." I think it's because how he could abuse it if he wants to and that would make things way too easy for him if he wasn't busy dealing with Darkrai. I admit to liking the "give death the middle finger" line though haha. I also like that Arkus wanted to try to help for a moment there. Close to the finishing line!
     
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