A/N - Here it is! A semi-canon special. Crack-fiction, if you will. Prepare for some craziness!
I have a few specials planned, but not all of them are canon. This one isn't 100% canon, but it gives you a glimpse into Macro's psyche. Unless there's a demand for me to post all specials (including the Serebii Fanfiction Forum exclusive Christmas special I did last year) then I won't be posting the non-canon ones here. Please let me know in a review.
(I do not own Alice in Wonderland or Pokemon! I just love them both and threw them together in a glorious crack-fic frenzy!)
Special Episode - Macro in Wonderland
When Macro opened his eyes, everything was dark. Cold, damp grass tickled his paw pads, and dew soaked through the fur of his stomach. Somewhere nearby, there was water. The sea? A lake? It swept back and forth, gently lapping some unseen land. He blinked his eyes a few times, allowing them to adjust to the darkness, before pushing himself to his feet. His head hurt. His body hurt. What had happened?
He smoothed out his scarf and looked up at the sky. Stars. Twinkling and… moving? Their patterns were erratic, but they cast a dim glow down onto his surroundings, reflecting off miles and miles of water. He looked down at his feet, hidden among long grass. But all around him was water. What little island he was standing on, it wasn't much bigger than himself.
"Oi!"
His head snapped back up, meeting a pair of angry, glittering eyes leering at him from the water. The head was both avian and reptilian, flashing two rows of sharp teeth.
"If you're gonna cry that much, at least warn a girl first!" The bird thing pulled a wing from the water, yellow feathers dripping wet. "Look what you've gone and did!"
Macro blinked down at her. An archeops? Weren't they extinct? Where on earth was he? He looked around again. What he'd mistaken for stars were a swarm of volbeat and illumise desperately fleeing the water. They gathered in the branches of trees stretching up from the lake, or congregated in roots that expanded above him like the roof of a splendid, ancient, underground palace.
"Where am I?" His voice came out hoarse and he coughed into his paw. "Where are my friends?"
"Friends?" the archeops scoffed. "You mean there's more of you crybabies?"
"Annie!" A skuntank paddled towards her, and it took a moment for Macro to realise she was riding on a huge book. There was a grinning cat on the cover. "Oh, thank goodness you're okay."
"I'm fine! Just a little wet." The archeops blinked at him before climbing aboard the skuntank's book-boat. "So what's your story, shorty? What made you cry so much?"
"'Shorty'?!" Macro spat.
The archeops merely nodded.
"All right. Well… I don't remember." Macro looked down at the lake and shook his head. "I really haven't a clue."
"Really? 'Cos it looks to me like you've been put through the ringer." She paused and lifted a claw. "Actually, that ain't a bad idea. Anyone got a mangle? That aughta get us dry quick."
The skuntank frowned at her. There were now two other pokemon on her book. A scrafty and a small, purple creature Macro didn't recognise.
"A mangle's a bit old fashioned, ain't it?" said the scrafty.
"I am not being squeezed through a mangle!" Macro rubbed his ribs. "I already feel like I've got a chest infection. I ain't adding broken ribs to that list."
"Spoilsport." Annie folded her wings. "All right then, plan B. Stand aside, we're gonna climb aboard and run in circles 'til we're dry."
Something white fluttered in the distance, snatching Macro's attention from the archeops. A fluffy, blue and white tail vanished beneath the water, sending his heart into his throat.
"DL?" he gasped.
"Eh?" Annie snapped her head towards him, half on and half off the little island. "I said 'circle'. I suggest you start runnin' too, else you'll never get dry."
"No, I'd rather not," said Macro. "I need to get off this island and catch her before she drowns."
"There's no way off," said Annie. "You'll be swimmin' for days."
"Good thing I can swim then, ain't it?" He put one toe in the water and grimaced. "Wow, that's cold."
Before he could drop his entire weight onto one leg, the entire water surged. He let out a squeak as something hidden beneath the surface dragged him across the lake and away from the island. He glanced back, wanting to scream for help, but Annie and her friends were busy running in tight circles around the rapidly shrinking island. He turned back to face where he was going and screamed. The water moved down, away from him like a waterfall. Before he could fully process his potential demise, the water launched him over the edge and he landed flat on his face on a cold, tiled floor.
"What in the world?" He pushed himself to his feet and rubbed his sore nose. "This is not a good day."
Somewhere, a door slammed. He spun on the spot to locate it, taking in his surroundings. Wherever the waterfall had launched him, it wasn't a beach or a river bed. Black and white tiles stretched out before him like a chessboard. The entire hallway was filled with doors - huge, towering doors - and at the far end was a red curtain. With all those doors, finding which one had slammed shut would be nigh impossible. And there was no sign of DL. He looked back up, but all he saw was a ceiling. No water. No waterfall. And no way to reach it even if there were. The hallway was bare save for a small, glass table. Well, given the size of the hallway, it looked small. It actually towered over Macro's head. Through the glass, he could see a lone key.
"Well, that's a bit rotten," he muttered. "Guess it opens one of these doors. But there's more than one way to get that key down."
He reached for his laser and gasped. His paw fastened around nothing. He twisted to check his belt, grimacing at the effort. Two holsters and nothing in them. Where on earth were his lasers?! He'd never felt more exposed.
He groaned and turned away from the table to the doors. He wasn't even going to try and climb it. Maybe the doors weren't even locked? He trotted to the nearest one and groped for the doorknob… except it didn't have one. He craned his neck back to look up at it, seeing if it had been placed mockingly out of his reach. But it hadn't. There was, in fact, no doorknob. Just a keyhole. He muttered under his breath and checked another door. Same result.
So all the massive doors held their keyholes well out of his reach, and the key was placed atop a huge table. He was beginning to feel very claustrophobic. He absently rubbed his chest, giving the hallway a disheartened glance. Then his eyes fell on the curtain. He half-ran, half-skidded down the hallway towards it and wrenched it aside. A door! A normal-sized door! A mawile-sized door! With a doorknob! He grabbed it in both paws and twisted. It didn't budge. He jiggled it a bit. Nothing. Then he saw the keyhole just below the doorknob.
"Drat!"
He spun on the spot to face the table, now seeming so far away. Still tall, still holding a key. And there was no way he could reach it.
"Somewhere," he said, "a sadist is laughing."
He strutted over to the table, keeping his eye on the key. There had to be some way to get it back down. As he stared at it, it began to grow closer. And… smaller? Before he knew it, he was staring down at the table, hunched over in the now minuscule hallway.
"What is happening?!" he roared.
"Oi!" Annie's archeops face poked through the tiny door. "Would you keep it down? I'm trying to hold a chess tournament in here!"
He stared at her, aghast. A small draft stirred his fur from the open door. Oh, how he desperately wanted to bolt through it. But there was no way he'd fit now. He couldn't even fit his paw through.
"Sod your chess tournament!" he said. "I'm stuck in here!"
She made a thoughtful noise and inclined her head on one side. "You clearly didn't take me calling you 'shorty' very well, did you?"
He flashed a canine and growled. "I'd rather be short than folded up in this corridor like a deck chair! Get help!"
"Sorry, can't," she said. "But before you go cryin' again, take this. It might bring things back down to size a bit."
She tossed a wing into the air and vanished back through the door. Something small and round bounced along the floor to stop at his hip. He stared down at it and his heart sank.
An onion. Attached to it was a gift tag that read 'eat me'.
He picked it up in his claws, and its skin crunched under his touch.
"You have to be kiddin' me?" The thought of eating the thing whole, and raw, made him briefly consider remaining stuck in the hallway. But it was getting hard to breathe. "Oh well. You only live once, huh?"
Given it was much too small to faff around with peeling, he tossed the whole thing into his mouth and swallowed it like a tablet. Then gagged.
"All right," he choked. "Maybe next time, just peel the wretched thing."
He deeply hoped there'd never be a next time.
The walls began to grow, as did the doors. And the glass table.
"Oh no. I'm not letting this chance get away."
He pushed himself to his feet and swiped the key in his left paw, then bailed towards the red curtain. As he lowered the key, it jerked in his paw and he snapped his head down towards it. A klefki struggled in his grip, its eyes closed tight as it struggled to pull the key free.
"Hey!" he snapped. "Let go! I'm using this!"
"But it's mine!" the klefki wailed.
"I'll give it back! Now let go!"
Macro snatched the key back, sending the keychain pokemon rolling away from him through the air. He turned back to the door and realised with a sinking heart that he was still shrinking. He stood on tiptoes, jammed the key in the lock and twisted. The door swung away from him, revealing a lush garden. He tossed the key back towards the klefki and raced into the open air.
"I'm free!" he shouted. "I'm free!"
Long grass tickled through his fur as he raced between manicured flower beds. Bugs hummed in the air and the sweet smell of nectar filled his nose. Tall flowers swayed from side to side, almost looking at him. In fact… they were. The large faces of vibrant coloured florges stared down at him, frowning.
"Rowdy little bug, isn't he?" one of them asked the other.
"A bug?" said another. "He has no wings, and too few legs. I'd say he's a weed."
"Oh yes," said a pink florges. "Much too ugly to be a garden flower."
"Yes, a common weed," said the second one.
Macro glared up at them. "Excuse me?"
"Oh." The first florges lifted her arms to cover her mouth. "I think we offended it."
"Worry not, dear sister," said the third one. "I'll call for the weed spray."
Macro knew when he wasn't wanted. He turned and raced through the flower beds towards the trees. The manicured beds gave way to a field dotted with sparse woodland and fruit baring trees. Huge mushrooms rose up on either side of him, florescent in the dim light. Amongst them, a thin trail of smoke rose into the sky.
"Well, I think I'm far enough away from the psychotic flowers." He sank to his bottom with his back against a mushroom. "I think I need a rest to figure this out. Now… what did I eat last?"
"An onion, I'm guessing."
Macro waved a paw. "Well, aside from that. What could have caused this trippy dream?"
"What makes you think it's a dream?"
Macro was about to answer when words froze in his throat. He craned his neck around to spot the speaker. Atop one of the smaller mushrooms sat a small, green bug pokemon. The sewaddle stared back at him, holding a hookah pipe in one little leg. He blew a stream of smoke from his mouth, that formed a huge question mark above his little head.
"Worm?" Macro gasped.
"I know not of this Worm," said the sewaddle. "I'm a mere, humble caterpillar." He took a long drag of his hookah then frowned at Macro. "Now, what in the world are you?"
"I'm a mawile," said Macro. "Come on, Worm! You know me!"
"I do not know you, and you didn't answer my question." Worm narrowed his eyes. "What… are… you?"
A sickly green question mark flew at Macro's face. He coughed and wafted it away. "I told you I'm a mawile! A space pirate! A rogue of the skies! Did you hit your head or somethin'?"
"My head is fine." Worm returned to his hookah. "It is yours that is not."
Macro hissed through his teeth and folded his arms, scanning the mushrooms for any hint that Worm might have ingested something that sent him loopy.
"All this aside," said Macro, "do you know where my crew might have gone? Or where I am? Like… what city is this? Where in System are we?"
"I did not say we could shove the matter aside," said Worm. "As for where we are, we are amongst mushrooms."
"I can see that. What city?"
Worm took a long drag of his hookah and slowly breathed out a stream of smoke. It formed a huge heart in the sky, then deformed into a grinning hoopa.
"I haven't a clue," he said.
"You don't even know how we got here?"
"Oh, I know how I got here," said Worm. "I woke up this morning on this mushroom like I do every morning. As for you…"
"I feel like I fell." Macro rubbed his ribs. "Or something punched me."
"'Fell' is more likely," said Worm. "That happens when you go tumbling through rings and wormholes."
Macro frowned and looked over at the mushrooms. Lots of them had holes in. With bite-marks. Was Worm being jokingly literal?
"I don't recall any rings, or wormholes," said Macro. "I just woke up in a lake."
"That explains why you look wet."
"Exactly." Macro paused. "But I haven't a clue what happened leading up to all this!"
"Maybe you hit your head."
Macro reached up and rubbed beneath his goggles. Then he straightened them out. His head didn't feel sore, so he could rule that one out. Right?
"You look concerned," said Worm. "Let's see if we can figure out why you are clearly having memory loss. Recite 'How Doth the Little…' for me."
Macro raised an eyebrow. "Eh?"
"No, not 'How Doth the Little E'!" Worm took a huge drag on his hookah. "Try again."
Macro wound his scarf in his paws, fixing the sewaddle in a violet glare. All the bug pokemon did was stare back, nibbling the end of his pipe. Macro let out a resigned sigh and threw his arms in the air.
"Fine. 'How doth the little krookodile improve his shining tail-'"
"Wrong!" Worm blew out a huge, red cross. "It has nothing to do with krookodile or tails. Besides, who dragged shiny pokemon into all this? What makes them so special?"
Macro's jaw dropped.
Worm turned his nose into the air. "Try again."
"No!" said Macro. "I am done playing your games! I'm not gonna continue makin' a fool of myself reciting non-existent poetry!"
"Why not?" A question mark flew from Worm's mouth.
"Because it's silly! And I have friends to look for. I saw DL, but I lost her and have to search for her in all… all this!" He spread his arms over the field of mushrooms. "And right now I'm a measly what… three inches high?"
"That is a splendid height."
"No it's not! I hate being so small! I can't even reach the key on the table! Just get me out of this nightmare and back to normal height!"
Worm's face turned red and the smoke surrounding him formed lightning bolts. "What is wrong with being small?!"
Macro stuttered and took two steps back. He'd seen Worm angry before, but this was a whole other form of angry. The bug pokemon's back prickled and his eyes began to glow yellow. Even the milky one with his everstone.
"I'd say three inches is a very grand height indeed!" Worm exploded in a flash of light.
Macro ducked, raising his paws over his head, but all that flew over him was smoke and glitter. He looked back up, spotting Worm's face hovering above him. Out of his back sprouted a pair of butterfree wings.
"What the…" Macro muttered. He rose to his feet and pointed a claw at Worm. "That's not even the right freakin' evolution! If my dreams are gonna be wacko, they should at least get their science right!"
"Science is nought but a myth," said Worm. "You need to take in what's around you and accept the extraordinary."
"What are you wafflin' about?!"
"If you hate being small," said Worm, "then maybe you should turn to the trees?"
The sewaddle-butterfree fluttered away from him, abandoning his hookah to the mushrooms. The odd contraption slowly sank into the mushroom's cap, leaving behind a gnarly hole. Macro frowned and turned to the trees. His heart sank. Whatever was growing in them, it wasn't apples.
Onions hung from the branches like baubles, looking as out of place as Worm's sudden wings. Both red and white, growing on the same trees. He sighed and picked up a stone, lobbing it at the vegetables. Two of them broke loose and thudded to the floor, narrowly missing his toes. He skittered backwards, then stooped to grab them. One red and one white. What were the odds? He shrugged it off and shoved them into his pouch.
"Dunno what he were goin' on about," he said. "But since the last one helped me to shrink back down, maybe these might get me out of some tricky situations n'all."
...
The field of mushrooms felt like it went on forever. Each one cast a neon purple glow, giving the entire stretch an unearthly feel. When Macro finally spotted the roof of a house rising over the mushrooms, he found a renewed vigour. Trotting through the multicoloured stalks, he found his way onto a path and almost skidded to a halt. Just ahead of him sprinted a frogadier, clutching a huge envelope beneath one arm.
"Jumper?" Macro gasped, taking off after him.
The frog pokemon ran at such a pace Macro felt his legs might fall off. His breath came out in raspy bursts and he lifted a paw, screwing his eyes shut as he tried to find his second wind.
"Jumper! Wait!"
The frogadier looked over his shoulder and 'hmm'd', hopping to a stop. "Are you shouting for me, good fellow?"
"Of course I am!" Macro stopped before him, placing his paws on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. "Boy, can you run!"
"That's because I'm in a rush," said Jumper. "So if you could make this quick?"
Macro looked up at him then slowly straightened up. "Can you tell me where we are? Like… what's going on? Where's DL and the rest of my crew?"
"We're at the Duchess' house," said Jumper. "And I'm delivering an important message from the Queen. So if you don't mind-"
Macro grabbed his arm before he could sprint off again. "And DL?"
"I don't know any DL."
Macro's heart sank like a lead brick and he released the frogadier's arm. First Worm and now Jumper? No… something was very amiss.
Jumper nodded to the little house. "I'll be off now, shall I?"
Macro waved a paw and let him go. The frogadier sprinted at an unbelievable speed towards the door, and threw the letter through the mail box like a ninja star. Then he leapt into the air, bounding over the roof out of sight.
"Curiouser and curiouser." Macro cleared his throat and ventured towards the house.
He lifted his paw to knock, then a sharp rap at the door took him by surprise. He stared at it. Did someone just knock from inside? He knocked back, only to get another knock in return. Muttering under his breath, he twisted the handle and pushed it open. Then ducked. A saucepan whizzed over his head to vanish into the mushroom field.
"What the…?"
He removed his paws from his head and peered into the house. It was just one room. A large sofa spread out at his left, with a very noisy chingling sat upon it. He wailed with laughter, his bell jingling loudly. Beside him sat a very disgruntled zigzagoon Macro recognised in an instant. But before her name could leave his mouth, someone sneezed and another saucepan soared over his head. He spotted the culprit by the stove. Cookie waddled back and forth, throwing pepper left and right in a bid to season some unseen dish. The cloud of pepper spread to the sofa, causing the chingling to fall into a sneezing fit. Surge refused to look up from her book, frowning at the pages.
"Cookie?" Macro gasped.
The slurpuff didn't look up from his preparations. A cloud of pepper wafted from the shaker, sending him into his own sneezing fit. He launched a plate in frustration. It narrowly missed Surge's ear then shattered against the wall, scattering porcelain in all directions. The zigzagoon didn't appear to notice.
Macro ducked into the house and closed the door behind him. An idea he soon regretted, as Surge looked up from her book and trapped him with her eyes. He swallowed a nervous lump in his throat and reached for his missing laser.
"What?" he growled. "Gonna kill me?"
"No." She looked back down at her book. "I might kill this annoying chingling though, if he doesn't stop laughing."
The chingling rolled onto his back and kicked his tiny legs in the air, erupting into a fit of maniacal giggles interspersed with sneezing.
Macro gave another glance around the room, and his heart froze in his chest. Something hung beside the stove, something he'd missed. Hanging by its tail was a spoink, missing the pearl on its head.
"Oh that?" Surge followed his eyes. "We had pearl soup for dinner last night. We'll be having spoink curry tonight. Care to join us?"
Macro felt unbelievably sick. He backed towards the door, but before he reached it another pan clattered against it just above his head. Then it knocked on the door and poofed away in a cloud of smoke.
He turned back to Surge and flashed his canines, but she didn't acknowledge it, too interested in her book. "Why in the world are you eating a spoink?!"
"The Queen permits it," she said flatly. "'Livestock', she calls it."
"It's cannibalism!"
"Take it up with the Queen," said Surge. "I'm nought but a Duchess."
"I think I shall!" He turned to the door and paused with his paw over the handle. "Where can I find this Queen?"
"Heart Palace."
That wasn't a name he was familiar with, but it wasn't a world he was familiar with. He licked his lips and spoke without looking back, "Have you seen DL?"
The already loud laughter increased in volume and mania. Surge leapt to her feet and grabbed the chingling by his tassels, lobbing him towards the kitchen. He clutched onto the spoink's head, dragging the pig pokemon from its nail. Its eyes flashed with life, and it landed on its springy tail and bounced towards the door with the chingling still clutching onto its head. Macro wrenched it open, watching as it bounded away towards the forest which had oddly replaced the mushroom field.
He didn't wait around for Surge's answer. Instead, he ducked a meat cleaver and fled from the house, slamming the door behind him. The meat cleaver embedded itself in the trunk of a tree with a 'twang!' as it wiggled with the impact.
"What a crazy-ass place!" he gasped.
"Certainly."
He jerked his head back to look into a tree. Sprawled on the branch was a pachirisu, leaning her head on one paw.
"But here, you might be perceived as the crazy one," she said.
"DL?" he gasped.
She watched the spoink hop away into the trees and sighed. "Such an annoying chingling, but he makes a rather handsome spoink pearl."
"What are you doing here?" Macro gasped. "I mean… what are we doing here? And you didn't drown! Thank goodness."
She peered down at him and yawned. "Why would I have drowned?"
"I saw you in the lake."
"The Lake of Tears?" She shrugged and a huge grin split her face. "Pachirisu can swim, you know."
He stared at her dumbfounded, then shook his head sharply. "Where are we? Do you know?"
"We're here." She spread an arm across the forest. "That's all you need to know."
"Rather lax on the details, DL," he muttered. Then he spoke more loudly, "This is a ridiculous place. How do I get back to my own world?"
"I think this is a splendid place," she said. "But if you want to get back, I guess you have to take things up with the Queen. She rules this world, not me. I'm just a humble pachirisu."
"And how do I get there?"
She pointed to her right. "That way." Macro was about to head in that direction then froze as she pointed to her left. "Or was it that way?"
He frowned up at her. "Come on, DL. I've no time for jokes."
She grinned from ear to ear and drifted into the air. Then she leant on her back, flicking her long tail up below her legs.
"We've all the time in the world," she said. "Enjoy a little madness."
"Madness? This world is totally crazy! Everyone I meet seems mad!"
"Oh, we can't help it. We're all mad here." She pointed to herself, then to Macro. "I'm mad, you're mad-"
"I'm not mad!" he paused then looked up at the canopy. "… Am I? I mean… I've clearly dreamt this place up…"
"Exactly."
"But I don't want to be mad!" he shrieked. "I want reality! I've got a girl to save, and a crazed robot to stop!"
She turned and drifted towards the ground until she was hovering upside-down before him. "So it's all about the romance is it?"
His entire face flushed and he stuttered. "N-no! It's not."
Another grin. "Lies."
If this was DL, she was clearly at the mercy of this crazy world. Maybe they were all imposters? Whatever it was, he had to fix it.
He pushed her aside and marched through the trees. "Forget it. I'll find Heart Palace myself, and get myself back to reality."
"If you keep going that way," she said, freezing him in his tracks, "you'll find the Mad Hatter."
He glanced back at her, then turned to head the other way.
"And that way leads to the March Hare," she said.
"Doesn't sound so bad." He kept marching on. "Rather him than some Mad Hatter."
"You say that now," she said. "But have you ever seen a hare in March?"
He inclined his head on one side and she chuckled.
"Of course, this is May so perhaps she won't be quite so mad," she explained, "but I guess you can take your chances."
A golden ring appeared behind DL and she vanished into it. Macro's jaw dropped as he watched it close up after her. Then it reopened again higher up in the canopy.
"Oh, by the way." She poked her head out of it. "Are you to play croquet with the Queen today?"
"I beg your pardon?" he asked.
"Croquet," she repeated. "She's been sending out invitations."
"Well I'm afraid I haven't got one," he said.
DL shrugged then grinned. "Well if you do show up, I'll be there." Then she vanished back into the ring.
Macro shook himself off and looked left and then right. "Both mad, eh? Well, I guess I'll take my chances with the March Hare."
...
The woodland thinned out into a clearing, where sat a house with long buneary ears. The roof was thatched with fur, and it towered above Macro's head. He ducked by a tree root and placed his paw upon it.
"I can't enter there," he squeaked. "What if she eats me? I don't know if mawile is on the menu in this crazy place!"
Then he remembered the onions. He plucked one from his bag, the red one, and stared at it. It seemed a lot bigger than one would have looked had his paws been their ordinary size.
"If I remember rightly," he said, "it was a white one that made me shrink. So maybe a red one will make me grow?"
So he took a nibble, and before he knew it, he shot right up in size. The trees looked ordinary, the house looked ordinary. But the sudden change felt very surreal. He popped the onion back into his pouch and tiptoed towards the house.
Voices reached his ears. Laughter, singing, and the clatter of crockery. Thankfully no one was throwing it around. A cute, white picket fence surrounded a long garden, and in the middle of the garden sat a long table. Only three pokemon sat around the table. A delphox, a lopunny and an eevee. The eevee lay sprawled with his head on his paws, snoring loudly, but the other two didn't appear to notice.
"Digit?" he gasped, eyeing the lopunny.
But she didn't look up at him. Too engrossed in whatever the delphox had to say. Given his run-in with Worm, Surge and Cookie, he wasn't sure whether or not to be reassured at a familiar face.
Nevertheless, Macro vaulted the low fence and strolled towards the table. The delphox looked up from his cup of tea and upon seeing Macro almost dropped it, sloshing steaming liquid onto the table. The lopunny let out a cry of distress and reached for a napkin, but the delphox didn't take his eyes off the mawile.
He flicked his top hat so it was resting between his large ears and shouted, "No room!"
The lopunny looked up at this and added, "No room!"
"What are you talking about?" Macro spread his arms wide. "There's plenty of room!"
"No there isn't," said the delphox, who Macro assumed with a sinking feeling must be the Mad Hatter. "You are imagining it."
"Definitely imagining it," murmured the eevee. "You are but dreaming. Twinkle… twinkle…"
Macro pulled up a seat anyway and helped himself to a teacup. The March Hare slapped his paws aside and frowned at him.
"Do I know you?" she asked.
Familiar face or not, it wasn't the Digit he knew.
He looked up at her and shrugged. "I'm beginning to wonder if anyone I think I know here is either off their rocker, or an impostor."
She scrutinised him for a moment then nodded. "Good answer."
The table fell into a long, painful silence as the two pokemon continued to stare at him. The only sound came from the snoring eevee who Macro realised had fallen asleep on a plate of scones, and his entire chin and chest were coated with jam and cream.
Finally, the Hatter broke the silence. "Your scarf needs washing."
Macro looked up with a start then glanced down at his scarf. He fixed the delphox with a frown. "No it doesn't."
"It smells."
Macro flashed a canine. "It's rather rude to make personal remarks, you know."
"Of course!" said March. "You should know."
"You're also rather short," said the Hatter. "You should eat more onions."
Macro seethed silently and picked up his teacup. But there was nothing in it. Instead, all the tea had drained out of a hole in the bottom.
"Answer me something," said the delphox. "Why is a murkrow like a writing desk?"
From one extreme to the next. Macro mulled this over for a moment, then wondered why on earth he was bothering.
"What kind of nonsense is that?" he asked.
"It's a riddle," said the Hatter. "I am testing your intelligence."
Oh, so it was an insult. A bit of a back-handed one at that. Macro snorted and discarded the teacup to the seat beside him.
"I haven't a clue," he said. "Go on, tell me."
"Can't." The Hatter shrugged. "I don't know the answer myself."
"The answer is simple." The eevee lifted his head and rubbed a buttery paw over his eyes, smearing the fur back from his chipboard tattoo. "It's because they can both make a few notes, albeit flat, and you can't place either with the wrong end in front."
March pointed a claw at the eevee and beamed. "Genius!"
"That makes no sense!" Macro roared.
"It makes a lot of sense!" the Hatter roared back. "Now shut up and drink your tea."
A cup scurried across the table to Macro and poured tea from a pink teapot into itself. It seemed to go about it for a good long while. Long enough for the Hatter to check the time on his pocket watch.
"Do you know what's going on in this place?" Macro asked.
"What's going on is that Time has stopped working," said the Hatter. "At least for us, anyway."
Macro decided to brush past that little statement. "I mean where am I? What happened to System? My home?" He paused and continued watching the teapot pour out its endless stream of tea into the tiny teacup. "I mean, it took me ages to find DL and then I lost her again."
"I like to do that too!" March leant forward across the table all too eagerly. "I check the alphabet every day just to make sure none of those pesky letters go missing!"
Macro stared back at her, unsure of what to say. The lopunny retracted to her seat, looking all too pleased with herself.
"What day of the month is it?" the Hatter asked.
"Dunno," said Macro. "But last I checked, it was the fourth."
"Just as I thought." The Hatter lifted the watch to his ear and sighed. "Two day's slow. I guess butter just didn't fix it."
"It was the best butter," said March sadly. "The kind we used to oil the eevee. And he's working just fine!"
"No he's not, he's sleeping again." The Hatter leant across the table and poured scalding hot tea onto the eevee's nose. "Come on, wake up!"
The eevee sat up spluttering and wiped a paw over his muzzle. "Oh dear! Did I nod off again?"
The Hatter said nothing as he checked over his watch. "Typical. Still six o clock, still tea time."
"Still March," said March. "I guess Time really has stopped."
Macro waved a paw at the Hatter. "Just get a new watch!"
March glanced at Macro and wiggled in her seat. Her eye twitched. "I really wanna box your ears."
"Well, I've had enough." Macro shoved his cup towards the middle of the table, startling a teapot, and stood up. "I need to find the Queen."
"Good luck," said the Hatter. "We were playing hide and seek with her last…" He checked his watch and shook it. "Oh bother. I don't remember. But we never found her."
"Nope!" said March. "I spent three days stuck in a tree. Had to eat onions to stay alive."
"Hmm, no wonder you're so tall," Macro joked.
March grinned broadly and sipped at her tea.
"Anyway, I'll be off then," said Macro.
Hatter said nothing, still shaking and checking his watch. March returned to her tea, staring off into space. The eevee had nodded off again on his 'bed of scones', snoring into a plate of melted butter.
Macro shook his head and vaulted over the fence, glad to leave the mad tea party behind. Still non the wiser as to how to get to Heart Palace.
...
The woodland spread out around Macro, its trees standing tall like sentinel soldiers. Signs were nailed to the trees, promising to guide him in the right direction. But closer inspections made his stomach sink.
'This way.'
'No, this way.'
'You sure you want to go that way?'
'Don't listen to him, it's this way!'
And so on, and so forth.
He shrugged off the signs and resigned himself to finding his own way, with no idea to how far he'd come, or whether or not he was moving in circles. Thanks to the promise of yet another arrow sign, he was strongly beginning to think so. He could still hear the mad tea party well in the distance, and it greatly unsettled him.
"I can't seem to put them far enough behind me," he muttered. "There's got to be some way out of these woods. That flippin' Digit. Threatenin' to box my ears." A canine poked out of his lip and he cast a glance over his shoulder. "It's like she knows I won't fight back. But I won't go down eas-"
Thud!
Solid wood met face. He staggered backwards, rubbing the side of his jaw.
"What the-?!" He glared up at a wide, ancient tree. "Where'd that come from?!"
The hollow trunk sported a mawile-sized door. And right above it, a wide arrow sign pointing down at it. 'Trust me, it's this way.'
"Really?" he asked the door. "You want me to open you? And what shiny, terrifying delights do you hold, hmm?"
The door didn't answer.
Macro sighed and grabbed the handle. To his surprise, it opened freely, swinging away from him. Beyond it was a glorious garden that almost took his breath away. Vibrant flowers and grass so green he wondered if it were an illusion. Until he stepped on it, feeling its soft blades stroking his paw pads. The door slammed and he twisted on the spot towards it. But it had vanished. No tree. No door. No sign.
A trap?
He deeply hoped not.
Oh well. Now he had several directions to choose from. He turned back towards the colourful flowers. Most of them were red, and shaped like hearts. Even the neatly manicured topiaries.
He shrugged and began heading towards them. "Guess I'll go this way."
"You sure you wanna head that way?"
The familiar voice snapped his head up to the air above him. Slowly, bit by bit, a pachirisu began to manifest. First her tail, then her feet. Then her ears. Until gradually, her body met in the middle. She floated on her back, arms tucked behind her head.
"It's a dreadful place," she said.
Macro glanced at the bushes and flowers. The lush green grass. Almost baiting him to keep moving forwards.
"What exactly is it?" he asked.
"Heart Palace."
"Then that's exactly where I want to go!" He waved her off and pressed on.
She drifted along above him, backwards, her tail acting as a rudder. One eye fixed on him and she grinned widely.
"Have you met the Queen?" she asked.
"No," he said. "But she can't be as mad as that tea party I've just come from."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that," said DL. "Compared to the Queen, those two are a real treat. A fine Earl Grey."
Macro faltered and glanced back over his shoulder. Behind him was just green. Dotted here and there by a spray of red flowers. Beyond that was a flat stretch of hedges.
"What's back that way then?" he asked.
"A maze."
"A maze?"
"Yep." Another grin. "It's a-maze-ing."
Puns? Not once did Macro recall DL using puns. He waved her off and kept heading towards Heart Palace.
"If I see the Queen," he said, "she might be able to get me back to my own, sane reality."
"And what makes your reality so sane?"
"Well everyone makes sense for one thing! And Digit doesn't threaten to box my ears. Worm can't evolve, and Cookie is about as violent as a day old hatchling on tranquilisers!"
"I don't know any of those pokemon," said DL.
He pointed a claw at her. "And you can't float! Nor… disappear and reappear at will."
"Really?" she raised an eyebrow. "You sure about that?"
With that, she grinned once more, and slowly faded away. First the white parts of her body. Then the blue. The last parts to fade were her grin, yellow cheeks and chocolate eyes. They hung around for a few seconds after the rest of her had vanished, leaving Macro feeling greatly unsettled. Once they'd gone, he smoothed out his fur and let out a flustered breath.
"To Heart Palace it is, then," he said to no one.
He reached the topiaries, and between them sat an archway. Ivy trailed up it, red blossoms buzzing with life. On closer inspection, he saw a flying mudbray no bigger than his index claw. It rocked back and forth on wooden supports, then whinnied as it flew to another blossom. Shooing a tiny butterfree aside. Which had bread for wings. Buttered bread.
"What kinda crazy-ass place is this?" he muttered.
He strolled through the arch and weaved his way along the path between the heart-shaped topiaries. It seemed to stretch on forever, until voices reached his ears. Familiar voices. He followed them into a large courtyard.
Anchor stood beside a quagsire, both of them waving around paintbrushes laden with red paint. Small trees stood in neat rows on either side of the square, their red roses dripping red paint onto the grass. Macro turned back to the frantically painting pokemon. Above them flew Matrix, wielding a paintbrush much too large for him with very little effort (or enthusiasm).
All three pokemon sported unusual garments. A long, flat shirt that came down to their knees. Both their shirts and trousers were white, as were their helmets. Each shirt was designed to resemble a playing card in the Hearts suit. Anchor was seven, the quagsire was two, and Matrix was three.
Macro strolled towards them and eyed the dripping bush. White roses dotted it, each one fated to receive a thick coating of red paint.
"What exactly are you doing?" Macro asked them.
"Painting the roses red," Anchor growled all too rapidly.
Macro cleared his throat and asked, politely, "May I ask why?"
"Well, you see." Anchor lowered his paintbrush to face Macro. "We were asked to plant red rose bushes. But Three, here," he pointed the brush at Matrix, "went and planted white ones."
Matrix paused what he was doing to grin at Macro.
"So if we don't paint them red," Anchor said as he returned to his work, "the Queen will have our heads."
"Does she have something against white roses?" Macro asked.
"You could say that," said Anchor. "She's the Queen of Hearts. Hearts are red. So all her flowers have to be red."
"It's only logical," said Matrix. "Why would the Queen of Hearts want white flowers?"
"Then why did you plant white flowers?!" Anchor snapped.
"I got bored," said Matrix. "I wanted to see her reaction."
"Her reaction is to remove our heads from our bodies!" Anchor sighed and ran a paw over his face, leaving a small smear of red paint on his forehead. "Why can't you just be sensible like Two?"
The quagsire said nothing, silently painting the roses with all the neatness of an artist.
"If it were just Three's fault," said Macro, "why are you two worried for your own heads?"
"Well all three of us planted the bushes," Anchor explained. "So, whether or not we knew what we were plantin', we're all responsible. So we gotta cover up our crimes."
"Crimes?!"
"Yeh. Plantin' the enemy's colour."
"This Queen sounds mighty violent," said Macro, more to himself. "Kinda wish I'd picked the other route."
"Well you're here now," said Anchor. "So start paintin'."
Macro found a large paintbrush shoved into his paws. With a shrug, he dipped it into the paint tin and started painting what was left of the white roses.
A trumpet blast erupted through the square, and the three soldiers dropped their paintbrushes onto the grass.
"Oh jack, it's the Queen!" Anchor barked. "Quick, get down!"
The three suits threw themselves face first onto the floor. Macro looked from them to the oncoming parade and back.
"Get down!" Anchor barked at him.
Macro sighed and slumped onto his belly, pressing his face into the grass. It seemed like an odd thing to do. Why not just kneel, or bow as she passed? Why lie flat like a playing card?
Heavy footsteps marched across the square towards them. Then stopped. A familiar voice shouted, "Here! The Queen of Hearts!"
Macro cracked an eye open to look up at the speaker, but the first thing he saw was a gothitelle standing before them. She clutched an ornamental staff in one paw, topped by a ruby encrusted heart. She gazed around at the rose bushes, each rose as red as the bows that adorned her body. Previously white bows replaced with red ones. Behind her, kitted out like a Queen's Prime Minister, was DL. Macro opened his mouth to gasp out her name, but swallowed it back.
Socket paced around the rose bushes, a smile on her face.
"Ahh, my precious rose bushes," she said. "The blooms have really come into their own, haven't they?"
She paused beside one to sniff it, holding the blossom delicately. A grimace twisted her smile and she released it, staring at her paw in horror.
"Paint?" she gasped. Then she turned to her entourage. "Paint?!"
The army stood to attention, keeping their eyes trained ahead of them.
"Who's been painting my roses red?!" she roared.
DL pointed a trembling paw at the suits lying face down. Socket marched over to them, eyeing each one in turn.
"Who are you?!" Socket asked. "Stand at once!"
The three suits scrambled to their feet, smoothing out their suits. Socket's scowling face leant towards Anchor's.
"Why are you painting my roses red?" As calm as her voice sounded, it was laced with danger.
Anchor stuttered and twisted the hem of his shirt in his paws. "You see… your majesty… there was an accident and-"
"And what?" she asked.
"Well… you see… we accidentally planted white roses…"
"White roses?" Socket pulled her head back and narrowed her eyes.
"Yes, your majesty." Anchor glanced away from her. "I'm terribly sorry. We've been trying to fix it-"
"In the hopes I wouldn't notice?" Socket tapped her staff on her arm. "I suppose you thought that was noble?"
Anchor and the quagsire stuttered while Matrix twirled his antenna in his paw.
The Queen straightened up and opened her mouth so wide Macro feared she was going to swallow them whole. "Off with their heads!"
The army surged forwards and grabbed the three suits, then marched them from the square towards the palace.
Socket watched them go then turned to Macro. "And who are you? You don't work for me. You aren't in suit."
"I'm just a humble, lost mawile," said Macro.
Socket leered at him, tapping her arm with her staff. "I'm just a humble, lost mawile what?"
"Eh?" Macro cocked an eyebrow and his muzzle creased with confusion.
"I said," Socket said, her voice laced with ice, "'I'm a humble, lost mawile what?'"
Macro shook his head and shrugged. "Nope. I can't work out this riddle, I'm afraid. It could rival the Hatter's riddle about the writing desk."
"You are meant to address me as 'your majesty'!" she snapped. "Now try again!"
A vile taste filled Macro's mouth at the mere sound of those words. Surely having to say them would poison him? He took a step back, fixing the gothitelle with a look of sheer horror.
"Just do it," DL said meekly from behind her. She lifted a paw and sliced it across her throat, making a clear point to Macro what would happen should he fail to address the Queen with her favoured title.
"I'm just a humble, lost mawile," he said through gritted teeth, "your majesty."
Socket smiled and nodded once. "Much better. Now… do you play croquet?"
"Croquet?" Macro's eyes widened as he recalled DL mentioning such a game to him. "But I never received an invite."
"I am offering you one," said the Queen. "And it is non-optional. You shall join me in a game of croquet, or it will be your head."
If he declined, she'd probably use his head as the ball. With a nod, he resigned himself to his fate.
"Excellent!" Socket turned to follow after her entourage. "We will start post-haste."
Macro exchanged glances with DL, and she lowered her head to scurry after the Queen. With a sigh, he followed behind her.
...
The Queen's Court was bustling with various colourful guests. Amongst them scurried her suits, throwing themselves around the court and bending with all four paws on the ground, arching their backs reminiscent of croquet hoops. Macro barely got a word out before a small doduo was stuffed into his paws. He stared down at it, then looked up at Socket.
"What is this?" he asked.
"Your croquet mallet," she answered.
His brow furrowed and he opened his mouth to retort, but DL stuffed her paw into it, turning his comment into a surprised muffle.
"And this," Socket stooped to place a togedemaru at his feet, "is your ball. Commence!"
The gothitelle turned and marched away, clutching her own doduo in one paw. She shouted commands to the other players before vanishing into the thick of it all.
Macro turned to DL and gestured to the doduo hanging obediently from his paw by its legs. "What on earth is this?"
"Croquet," she said meekly.
"With live pokemon? It's barbaric!"
DL waved her paws and let out a long, sharp 'shh!' She glanced over to where the Queen had vanished then moved closer to him and lowered her voice.
"The Queen has standards," she said. "Those that don't fit them have their rights removed. Turned into meat or… entertainment." She nodded to the togedemaru who was peering up at Macro over her shoulder.
The small hedgehog pokemon raised her arms. "We doin' this or not? 'Cos I haven't got all day."
"Oh… of… of course." Macro readied his doduo behind the small togedemaru and she curled up into a tight ball.
"Ready!" the doduo barked. "Aim! F-"
"No!" Macro dropped the doduo, receiving surprised looks from both heads and the togedemaru.
"What's he doing?" one head asked the other.
"Not a clue," it replied. "But at this rate, the Queen will-"
"Sever his head for sure!" The first head trembled.
"Took the words right out of my mouth," said the second.
"I'm not doing this," Macro hissed. "You have rights."
"Hey, I'm just glad I'm not on a sandwich," said the togedemaru. "Now use that doduo and smack me towards that croquet hoop before it moves again! I wanna be on a winning team for once."
Macro shook his head and turned away. "No. I will not do something so barbaric."
"Why you…" The togedemaru waved a tiny fist. "Bleeding heart!"
Macro looked back to find DL, hoping to drag her away from the barbaric game. But she'd seemingly vanished. He let out a sigh and continued on towards the heart-shaped topiaries.
"Curious fellow, aren't you?"
DL's voice snapped his head up towards a broad tree branch. He wasn't surprised to find every single blossom was red and heart shaped.
"DL?" he squeaked. "How did you get up in that tree?"
"I'm a squirrel." Her answer became redundant as she slowly drifted into the air. "Now. You seem rather perplexed by the Queen's wonderful game."
"Wonderful?" he scoffed.
DL merely grinned. "Why don't I introduce you to someone who can put things into a better perspective?"
He snorted and folded his arms, glancing back at the game. The Queen shouted something in the distance that sounded very much like 'Cheater! Off with his head!'
"If it gets me out of here," he said, turning back to DL, "then sure. Introduce me."
She let out a silent laugh and tucked her paws behind her head, drifting backwards away from him. "Very well. Follow me."
Macro ducked through the bushes, the sounds of the game fading away behind him. Pretty soon, he lost track of the pachirisu.
"DL?" he shouted. But he got no reply.
With a sigh, he pressed on. The path weaved through the topiaries like a maze, and he soon found himself running into dead ends. He muttered under his breath and turned one eighty to retrace his footsteps. The path turned sharply to the right, and he let out a squeak as he found himself face to grinning face with the floating pachirisu.
"Good grief!" He placed a paw against his pulsing rib cage then flashed a canine at her. "What game are you playing?"
"Just hide and seek," she said. "I'd say 'you're next', but we're here."
She drifted backwards through a neatly manicured gorse bush (with red, heart-shaped berries) and Macro ducked after her. The thorns snagged his fur as he scrambled through them, shielding his eyes which they seemed intent on scratching out. Once on the other side, he gazed out at a heart-shaped pond which was, surprisingly, not red. Beside the pond sat a snoring talonflame, his head lolling forward against his chest.
"This is the Queen's mysterious creature," DL explained. "He can tell you everything."
With that, she did a little back-flip in the air and vanished through a golden hoop. Macro looked from the spot she'd occupied back to the talonflame.
"Switch?" he asked, tentatively.
The talonflame jerked his head up, letting out a loud, surprised snort. He blinked his bleary eyes and fixed them on the mawile.
"You need to keep your voice down when others are sleeping," said Switch. "Otherwise, you're just being rude."
"Sorry." Macro shrugged and shifted his weight to one leg. "But DL said you might be able to help me."
"I don't know who this DL is," said Switch. "But he's no friend of mine."
"She," Macro corrected.
Switch appeared to not notice. He craned his neck around and started preening his right wing, snubbing Macro completely. The mawile cleared his throat, and Switch looked at him out of the corner of his eye, not stopping his preening.
"She brought me here," Macro began, "because she thought you might be able to explain the Queen's barbaric game of croquet."
Switch dropped his wing, letting it fold neatly against his side, and turned fully to Macro.
"Barbaric?" he repeated. "I'd be inclined to agree with you. A lot of pokemon here have little to no rights. Those that fall into that category are either abused or turned into meat. One such pokemon has met the latter fate many times."
"Eh?" Macro raised a confused brow.
"Well… not personally," said Switch. "His family, mainly. One by one. Gone. Would you like him to tell you about his sorrow?"
Macro's eye wandered to the pond. A fish pokemon? That would have been his first guess. But seeing the spoink, and the croquet game, he decided he couldn't very well just assume.
"All right," he said, perching on a rock beside the talonflame. "Go ahead."
Switch cleared his throat and turned his head to the water. "Oi! Mock Squirtle!"
Squirtle? Ripples spread across the water, drawing closer towards them. The first thing he saw was a long, blue fin, slicing through the glassy surface like a blade. Then two blue paws clutched the bed, followed by a lithe, blue body. Drops of water fell from their fur. No. Not a squirtle at all.
A vaporeon sat down… rather floppily. Macro recognised him immediately.
"Floppy?" he gasped.
The vaporeon blinked his glassy, black eyes. The last time he'd seen them, they'd been filled with mischief despite his injuries. Now… they were filled with sorrow.
Floppy let out a wistful sigh and flopped onto the rocks, letting his chin fall onto his forepaws.
Switch inclined his head on one side then nodded to Macro. "I thought you might want to tell this young fellow about your sorrow."
"Sorrow?" Floppy sighed again. "What's the point. No one cares."
"Hey!" Macro narrowed his eyes. "I care! Everything that's goin' on in this place? It's madness!"
"Precisely," said Switch. "Everyone is mad here. Because she's mad."
"The Queen?" Macro asked.
"The Queen," Switch and Floppy answered.
Floppy raised his head and blinked his huge, sad eyes. "Ever since she became the Queen, the world turned violent. Heads rolling, pokemon turned into slavery and meat. All because they don't fit her criteria."
"And what would that be?" Macro asked.
Floppy shrugged. "She doesn't have one, really. If she doesn't like you, or you wrong her in some way, she'll have your head. If you're a bird, or a water type, or fall into her 'livestock' category, you're meat."
"And what of the togedemaru?" Macro asked.
Floppy shrugged again. "Oh that's obvious. She needed pokemon that roll."
"Exactly," said Switch. "And all the voltorb she tried to use exploded. Made a jolly mess of the palace grounds."
"This is insane!" Macro roared.
"Of course it is," said Floppy. "Because she is!"
Heavy panting came from the bushes and DL exploded through them. She stood, trying to catch her breath, then looked up at him.
"There you are," she said. "Come on! The trial's about to start!"
"What trial?" Macro asked.
"What do you mean 'what trial'?" DL gasped. "Yours!"
Macro's jaw almost hit the floor. "What on earth did I do?"
"No time to explain." DL grabbed his paw and dragged him after her through the maze. "We have to go now!"
His heart hammered in his chest with every foot step. The maze zipped past him all too quickly, and before he knew it he was dragged through the palace doors to the Queen's court room.
Socket sat in her throne, high up where everyone could see her. A plump sparksurfer raichu stood behind a podium, leafing through sheets of paper each of which had the Queen's heart motif printed on them. Macro was thrown into a seat before the jury. Various small pokemon filled the jury booth, each one clutching a small black slate.
"A call to silence!" Socket roared.
It hadn't been all that necessary. The pokemon in the courtroom hadn't so much as squeaked.
She fixed her livid eyes on his. "Hunter. You are being tried for stealing something that belongs to me."
Macro's entire voice turned dry. He stuttered, but she went on, silencing him.
"You have stolen my tarts," she said. "And for that, I find you guilty."
"We can't rush just yet," said the raichu. "We haven't brought in any witnesses."
Socket sat back in her seat and sighed, rubbing between her eyes. "Fine. Bring in the first witness."
"Calling the first witness!" the raichu roared.
The double doors were thrown open as a tatty looking archeops scurried through them. She looked up at the Queen and grinned.
"Yo there, your Majesty!" She flopped into the witness booth. "How can I help you?"
"Do not address me with such vulgarities!" Socket snapped. "If I didn't need your evidence, I'd take your head!"
Annie shrugged and kicked one gangly leg over the other.
"Now then," said the raichu, turning to his papers. "You say you saw Hunter take the tarts?"
"I never said such a thing." Annie faltered and placed a claw under her chin, glancing up at the ceiling. "Or did I? I don't remember. What day was it?"
"It was a Friday," said the raichu.
"Hmm…" She inclined her head on one side. "I don't remember Friday."
"That's very important!" the raichu shouted to the jury.
The small pokemon scrambled to write this all down on their slates with their claws.
"Next witness!" the Queen roared.
Suits rushed to the witness booth and picked it up, carrying Annie out of the courtroom. She let out a cheer and raised her wings into the air as she was whisked through the side doors into the yard. The entire booth went flying and the suits slammed the doors before rushing to erect a new one. Right before the Mad Hatter strolled in with March and the eevee.
"Hater," the raichu said slowly.
"It's Hatter," the delphox corrected.
"Apologies," said the raichu. "You claim to have dined with Hunter recently? What was his behaviour like?"
"Rude," said March. "He just invited himself in."
"Despite us telling him there's no room," said the Hatter. "All unclean with his mucky scarf. Not quite the gentlemon at all."
"Not at all," added the eevee.
"So… technically…" said the raichu slowly, "he stole from you?"
"You could say that," said March. "Helped himself to tea and scones."
"I never touched a scone!" Macro barked.
"You did," said the Mad Hatter. "And you got fur in them."
"That might have been me, actually," said the eevee.
"Write that down!" the raichu barked at the jury.
Macro pointed at the eevee then looked directly at the Hatter. The delphox shrugged, before the suits were ordered once again to 'remove the witnesses'.
"Third witness!" the Queen roared.
The doors flew open and in marched a figure that left Macro chilled to the core. A mawile… complete with a scar and black scarf. Goggles topped his head, and he frowned at Macro as he took the witness booth.
"Now… tell me in all honesty," the raichu said to the mawile, "did Hunter steal the Queen's tarts?"
The mawile said nothing, almost staring into Macro's very soul. Macro staggered backwards, toppling over the jury booth onto the small pokemon. Yelps of protest came from beneath him as they tried desperately to scramble free.
"Yes," the mawile said flatly.
"No!" Macro roared. "I didn't steal anything! I rescued them!"
No sooner had the words left his mouth, the Queen roared "Off with his head!"
The suits lurched forwards, almost flying at him. A bone chilling scream left Macro's throat.
"Admit it, Macro," he heard the other him say. "You know you stole them. Whether or not you're trying to be the hero now, it doesn't change the fact you're a criminal. And you know it." The other mawile grinned widely, morphing slowly into a grinning pachirisu. "You deserve this."
Macro watched, stuttering, through the flying suits, as she rose into the air. Morphing, twisting, into the form of a grinning hoopa.
"Let's hear it again!" squealed BackDoor. "Off with his head!"
The suits rushed at Macro with more speed, their bodies morphing like origami. Their forms became more pointed, more knife-like, and Macro realised with horror they were morphing into kartana. A strangled scream erupted from him as their bladed limbs slashed at his body. That soreness in his chest flared up into a full-blown stabbing pain as one of them ran right through him. Red filled his vision. Then a white light started in the centre like a pin prick. It exploded like a star, dazzling him with a blinding white rose. He shut his eyes tightly, clutching the bleeding wound in his chest. He staggered back beneath their wicked blades and rolled backwards onto the floor as he groped for his missing lasers with his free paw.
Soft ground enveloped him like a mattress. The soreness lessened in his chest as he felt the last of the kartana vanish from him like dust. He blinked his eyes back open. Soft, white light surrounded him, and he found himself looking into Solgaleo's smiling face.
"Time to wake up," said the lion.