[Pokémon] He who is Merely a Rumour

Hmm. The idea of the turning heads and the onlooking crowd was that they were the other trainers, the Cloak hopefuls. Should I make that explicit?

Hmm not unless if it was already mentioned that they were there (or that they had begun at the same time as Bevan, which I suspect is what I remember reading) XD

It was implied in many ways, like the gates to Route 616 opening and there being families of people to see their children off in Chapter 1, and then this again in Chapter 2:

Me said:

It wasn't long until a small, dark hyena popped out of the bushes, staring at Bevan. A few of the other people around him looked, and then looked away, not wanting to waste their time with small and weak Pokémon. To them this wasn't a merciful window of freedom – it was a race.

Click to expand...

I guess these are the sorts of things that late night reading, coupled with only being able to read a chapter once every few days causes. XD;; But yeah, unless anyone else finds it confusing, I think it was implied heavily enough. :P

lol okay, that's good to hear XD I'd reread it again, but I'm bouncing around atm XD

Chapter Three: An Omen or Two

Chapter Three: An Omen or Two
Samantha Lincoln was commonly regarded as the maternal Oligarch, the one who did not seek vengeance, nor bear grudges. Her face was chubby, her eyes kind. It was an image that she maintained well, even towards the other five Oligarchs.

One can therefore imagine her surprise when, after a long day, stumbled to her bed, switched on the lights, and saw her husband's mangled corpse on her bed. Her green eyes widened with shock and fear. She put her hands in her puffy, auburn hair and began to hyperventilate. Who could have penetrated my security?

She slowly crept forward to see an envelope on her dead husband's chest. Hands shaking, she ripped it open, and scanned the letter.

"To the Ears of the Oligarch,

"I know your secrets. Both of them. The first, my dear, is that you are not the kind woman you make yourself out to be. You sit in your office, watching torture surveillance. You delight in how your department makes it possible for the middle-of-the-night seizings. You are sadistic. You are bloodthirsty. This would be enough for me to hide in your closet and rip you open …"

Quickly, upon seeing this, the distraught Oligarch ran to her massive closet. No. Nobody there. Frantically, she began reading the remainder of the letter.

"as you read this letter, but I will not. No, you are no use to me dead. For I know your other secret.

"It turns out that the rumour that the Oligarchy worked so hard to squash is not merely a rumour. Quite the Augury, isn't it? Reveal to me the reality behind the rumour, or the killings of your family will not stop.

"Sincerely,
Dagger."

She noticed that "Augury" had a capital letter. This wasn't just some sick coincidence from someone with a good vocabulary. Whoever this person was, he knew. And he was dangerous.


"Larvitar, go!"

"Growlithe, go!"

"Taillow, go!"

"Machop, go!"

Charlotte and Bevan, upon entering the forest, had been confronted by two other Cloak hopefuls. And now, with a lush green floor and towering walls of trunks as their battlefield, they were entwined in a double battle. Now, the Pokémon and their trainers stood determined, all eager to prove themselves: after all, for three out of four of these trainers, it was their first trainer battle. Despite the lack of movement, there was a real atmosphere of danger hanging in the field. One of the trainers felt a knot unclench in his stomach, his trainer's instinct telling him it was time.

"Machop, Low Kick his Larvitar!"

"Sandstorm!"

The scrappy, blue fighter leapt at the small dinosaur, grimacing, but Larvitar stepped back, opened its mouth, and released an impressive cyclonic wave of sand. Machop tried to dodge it, but was too slow. The next thing it knew, it was on the ground in a mound of sand.

"Great job, Larvitar!" It was incredible: Bevan had never had power over anything before. The rush of power that this battle gave him, the adrenaline, the pride: it was indescribable.

"Growlithe, Ember the Machop!"

"Dodge it!"

"Don't let it get away! Iron Head!"

"Stop her Growlithe, Taillow! Peck!"

The four commands were executed in a whir. Charlotte's Growlithe spat bright amber flames in the direction of the fallen Machop. Sensing danger, the fighting Pokémon quickly rose, rolling out of the way. And into the charging, now metallic head of Larvitar. Shaking its head in a daze, Machop leapt at Larvitar, fists clenched in rage. Its trainer, barely keeping up, hadn't even given the command to do so.

"Larvitar, another Iron Head!"

The two Pokémon leapt, their attacks striking midair, metal scraping muscle. Larvitar knelt, obviously in pain. Machop's face contorted with fighting spirit, the sweat in his eyes nearly blinding him. His body shook with pain and exhaustion. Machop, again without any input from his trainer, made a feeble attempt to strike his opponent, but collapsed almost as soon as his feet left the ground. Bevan couldn't help but admire this Machop's determination, a determination that reminded him of his mother...

"Return, Machop." The trainer on the left looked down at his Pokéball with a frown on his face, an odd mixture of disappointment and frustration.

Meanwhile, Taillow began swooping down at Growlithe, its beak half-open, ready to strike.

"Jump and Bite!"

Growlithe looked up at the incoming bird calmly, and when it came into close range, leapt up, teeth bared. Throwing its sharp teeth against Taillow's side, each slashing like a dagger, Taillow yelped in pain. Desperately trying to escape, the Taillow flew off course, struck a tree, and drooped to the ground unconscious.The battle was won, two proud trainers standing tall against two slumped ones.

Mumbling angrily, these two slumped trainers withdrew their Pokémon, one adjusting his glasses, the other clenching his fist. They skulked off, glancing at the trees beside them, hoping to find the right berries to revive their Pokémon.

Charlotte and Bevan returned their Pokémon, but in a noticeably cheerier mood than the winners. While walking, Charlotte struck up a conversation.

"You're quite the trainer. Have you ever used a Pokémon before?"

"No, but the theory of it has been the object of my homeschooling for the past year. You seemed pretty confident yourself."

"Well, I have trained before. I used to have a team of six, actually."

"Oh? What happened?" But Bevan, with a sinking feeling, thought he already knew the answer.

"After I escaped, you know, the cult, I had nowhere to go. So, I became a trainer – that is, someone who gets a Pokémon, battles other people with it, and each trainer places a bet on themselves winning. And I was good. Good enough to get myself off the streets and into a comfortable apartment, anyway.

"As a private trainer, though, I was a pariah. But, about a month ago, I was taken."

She didn't seem to lower her voice to a whisper. That's odd, Bevan thought. Why is she so confident?

"My Pokémon were taken from me, and are no doubt being retrained and separated. My old friends –" She paused, blinked rapidly a few times, and continued. "Are probably now bloodthirsty fiends. I guess that transformation would've been impossible if I was allowed to keep them…"

"So why are you here now?"

"Because they wanted someone like me as a Cloak. They gave me a Growlithe and told me to be here in a month. I thought about fleeing, but I knew that wasn't an option. It was here or prison."

Bevan shook his head, distraught at the realities of the world. He knew that the Oligarchy was terrible, but to hear an account of this first-hand was something completely different.

"Hey – you said that your Pokémon were your 'old friends'. Why did you call them that?"

"Bevan, you're going to hear a lot of things about how Pokémon are weapons. Tools. But, they are not. And what's more, the power of Pokémon is incredible when there is a bond between owner and trainer. A Pokémon that fights reluctantly, even a strong one, is bound for a loss."

"So, you're saying my Larvitar… I should befriend him?"

"Exactly. Tonight, when we set up camp, I'll show you how a Pokémon is more than just a substitute for a gun."


"My Lord, someone… knows…"

It was a dark room, lit feebly by a collection of embers in the fireplace. On one crimson, velvet chair was a very distraught looking woman, and on another, a cloaked figure in black with a featureless silver mask, save for its narrow eye-slits.

"Yes, I'm aware of this, Samantha. Naturally, as the most powerful Oligarch, you've dispatched units to deal with this?" His voice was cold and could best be described as sounding like two mangled spirits speaking at once.

"O-Of course. I've got my best men covering my house for evidence."

"And yet, you come to me, so I presume you have found nothing."

"Nothing, Lord Augury, apart from the letter, which I've already given you." Samantha Lincoln shook, her eyes wide with fear.

"This… Dagger. Why have you failed to find him? Perhaps the Eyes is a better Oligarch to deal with…"

"No, my Lord. Please. The Eyes – she only controls the secret polices. She's nothing without me. You've said so yourself!" The maternal face of Samantha had contorted very quickly into an ugly image, a lust for blood burning in her eyes.

"My dear Samantha, if only you could focus this disgust towards something productive. Anger at your fellow Oligarchs upsets the balance which this society lives in. And draws suspicion to you, I might add."

"S-sorry, Lord Augury." Her voice shook with the calming. "A-am I safe? You know, from him?"

"With your husband, I was not close. I could not have foreseen his death. But with you, Samantha, your impending death, capture, or injury would most certainly be premonitory." The masked man paused. "I wonder whether he knows about my… abilities. That provides the key."

"I don't understand."

"He's obviously a clever, powerful, and dangerous man. Should he know of what I'm capable of, he would have prepared for it, in ways unknown to us. In this case, he could have waited for years, scheming, coming up with some clever plan of which we could not imagine. If not, however, he shall prove rather incapable of causing any real harm."

"What if he has prepared? What will we do?"

"When the time comes, Samantha, the answer will present itself to me. He seems to be biding his time, committing small acts that are distant from me, either coincidentally or deliberately."

"What if… he's more…?"

"More powerful than me?" Augury chuckled derisively. "Politically, I have you, the controller of all information. And, as far as him actively confronting me – you know what I can do."

As he said that, a telepathic wave of every emotion that Samantha had ever felt washed over her. She shook in its incredible power, remembering who she was talking to. She didn't even know whether or not her master was human. If he was, he was the most powerful human alive.

"I-I'm one Oligarch. What if he has more, my Lord? Emerit's a bit suspicious – he seems to know an awful lot about Dagger."

"Evan Emerit, like yourself, has had the opportunity to be killed. Someone proximal to him was killed, like someone proximal to you was killed. In both instances, he could have struck. But instead, he waited."

Something clicked in Samantha's mind. "My Lord, this means… of course! He knows you exist, because he knows the name Augury – that wasn't leaked in the rumour. But he doesn't know which Oligarch you control. He's probably plotting similar things to the other Oligarchs, testing us."

"How much emotion have you betrayed?"

Samantha looked down, trying to recall. "I… I acted my part. A confused, distraught woman. I didn't act suspicious at all – I know how to hide my personality."

"Bravo, Samantha. Then that bloody terrorist still won't have a lead on how to find me. He'll see you as a dead end, proceed to rough up the other Oligarchs, and fade into obscurity after failure." It was hard to tell with Augury's inhuman voice, but there seemed to be doubt. Strong doubt.

Samantha caught this, but misread it as the general paranoia which seemed to be in her master. For years she had served this masked figure, not once seeing his face.

He rose and walked slowly towards the small fireplace, cloak waving ominously behind him. "Do not attempt to find out how he knows the name Augury, the risk is too great that the name will spread if you do so. Instead, I shall discover this myself."

"How, Lord Augury?"

"I have private networks, Samantha. Underground methods of discovering things that are too risky for the Ears to find."

Suddenly, the fire was extinguished, and for three seconds, Samantha simply sat there in darkness, accustomed to this treatment. The lights then flickered on, and she was sitting alone, fanatically resolved that the murderer of her husband would be avenged.


"It's confirmed, sir," said a muffled voice over a static-ridden telephone line. "Augury's controlling Lincoln as well."

"It seems that this monster has many heads," replied a grim voice.

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Hopefully the title is beginning to make a bit more sense. As always, all comments and criticism will be appreciated. ^_^

I like how it is developing so far.

Hmmm, but I think you have to work on the Pokemon battles portion. I know these can be pretty tough (it can be pretty tough I know).

Leaving the calls of "Iron Head" etc by itself might prove to be confusing and the reader might not feel apart of the battle. It was good you mentioned the sequence after the call of the attack, but it could be better put in the same sentence.

Of course, it is a lot more tougher when four trainers are battling it out, but hopefully I can show you some. I'll make up characters and Pokemon:

Steven and Julie sent out their pokemon, as did their opponents. Julie's Chansey and Steven's Scyther were ready for the battle. Their opponents sent out a Magmar and Ryhorn.

The battle began. "Scyther, use cut on that Magmar!" Steven cried, calling the first attack.

Julie followed immediately after. "Chansey use double edge on Ryhorn."

Both Pokemon began running towards their opponents, readying their respective attack. But the opponents were ready.

"Ryhorn! Dodge it and use slam to stop the Scyther from attacking Magmar." One opponent called.

"Magmar overheat now!" The second opponent yelled.

Scyther began to be envoloped in magmar's overheat as he aproached it. It got distracted with the heat, and was suddenly slammed by the Ryhorn. Chansey however, was still on target and its double edge hit the Ryhorn sending it flying a few feet back.

Etc.

I know its not the best, but it can show a few things, first it shows the action in a little bit more ease. Plus you can have the characters describe a bit of the action to simplify things. As well, you can place emphasis on your main characters by using their names (or Pokemon names), leaving the opponents a little more faceless, and even mysterious.

The roleplay forum has lots of examples of Pokemon battles. I know it can be difficult, every time I am required one, it takes some thinking. As it is pretty clear, it is not like the game, and its hard to write what we'd visually see sometimes.

Hope that helps. :)

Lol I really want to know Charlotte's true intentions.

EDIT: Another good way of engaging the reader into the battle is really describing the fight, everything from the subtle movements (bending knees, preparing to jump), to the trainer's current thoughts, what the attack did, etc. Of course, overly describing a battle can make it seem long and confusing, not to mention the fight itself would seem to be going in slow motion.

Feign said:

Lol I really want to know Charlotte's true intentions.

Click to expand...

Who says she has true intentions? *runs away and hides*

Heh, yes, I always knew that battles would pose a problem, because it's a situation where a lot of description is warranted but too much will result in slow motion. I decided to jump right into a double battle because it was better to jump into the deep end of the pool and master the hard part early. I've rewritten the double battle, and before I change it, would you mind checking it out?

---
---


"Larvitar, go!"

"Growlithe, go!"

"Taillow, go!"

"Machop, go!"

Charlotte and Bevan, upon entering the forest, had been confronted by two other Cloak hopefuls. And now, with a lush green floor and towering walls of trunks as their battlefield, they were entwined in a double battle.

"Machop, Low Kick his Larvitar!"

"Sandstorm!"

The scrappy, blue fighter leapt at the small dinosaur, grimacing, but Larvitar stepped back, opened its mouth, and released an impressive cyclonic wave of sand. Machop tried to dodge it, but was too slow. The next thing it knew, it was on the ground in a mound of sand.

"Growlithe, Ember the Machop!"

"Dodge it!"

"Don't let it get away! Iron Head!"

"Stop her Growlithe, Taillow! Peck!"

The four commands were executed in a whir. Charlotte's Growlithe spat bright amber flames in the direction of the fallen Machop. Sensing danger, it quickly rose, rolling out of the way. And into the charging, now metallic head of Larvitar. Shaking its head in a daze, Machop leapt at Larvitar, fists clenched in rage. Its trainer hadn't even given the command to do so.

"Larvitar, another Iron Head!"

The two Pokémon leapt, their attacks striking midair, metal scraping muscle. Larvitar knelt, obviously in pain. Machop's face contorted with fighting spirit, the sweat in his eyes nearly blinding him. His body shook with pain and exhaustion. Machop, again without any input from his trainer, made a feeble attempt to strike his opponent, but collapsed almost as soon as his feet left the ground. Bevan couldn't help but admire this Machop's determination, a determination that reminded him of his mother...

Meanwhile, Taillow began swooping down at Growlithe, its beak half-open, ready to strike.

"Jump and Bite!"

Growlithe looked up at the incoming bird calmly, and when it came into close range, leapt up, teeth bared. Throwing its sharp teeth against Taillow's side, each slashing like a dagger, Taillow yelped in pain. Desperately trying to escape, the Taillow flew off course, struck a tree, and drooped to the ground unconscious.

Mumbling angrily, the two trainers withdrew their Pokémon, one adjusting his glasses, the other clenching his fist. They skulked off, glancing at the trees beside them, hoping to find the right berries to revive their Pokémon.

Citrinin said:

Who says she has true intentions? *runs away and hides*

Heh, yes, I always knew that battles would pose a problem, because it's a situation where a lot of description is warranted but too much will result in slow motion. I decided to jump right into a double battle because it was better to jump into the deep end of the pool and master the hard part early. I've rewritten the double battle, and before I change it, would you mind checking it out?

---
---


"Larvitar, go!"

"Growlithe, go!"

"Taillow, go!"

"Machop, go!"

I'd still add something here like "all their pokemon were out and ready to battle, perhaps a brief description of their Pokemon's emotions, or how they looked.

Charlotte and Bevan, upon entering the forest, had been confronted by two other Cloak hopefuls. And now, with a lush green floor and towering walls of trunks as their battlefield, they were entwined in a double battle. This you can briefly describe at the beginning of the fight, even in dialogue by one of the opponents.

"Machop, Low Kick his Larvitar!"

"Sandstorm!"

The scrappy, blue fighter leapt at the small dinosaur, grimacing, but Larvitar stepped back, opened its mouth, and released an impressive cyclonic wave of sand. Machop tried to dodge it, but was too slow. The next thing it knew, it was on the ground in a mound of sand.

"Growlithe, Ember the Machop!" Because it is a move, you can still use "Use Ember on the Machop, as right now, "Ember" is presented as a verb.

"Dodge it!"

"Don't let it get away! Iron Head!"

"Stop her Growlithe, Taillow! Peck!"

The four commands were executed in a whir. Charlotte's Growlithe spat bright amber flames in the direction of the fallen Machop. Sensing danger, it quickly rose, rolling out of the way. And into the charging, now metallic head of Larvitar. Shaking its head in a daze, Machop leapt at Larvitar, fists clenched in rage. Its trainer hadn't even given the command to do so. While pronoun replacement is a good thing, at times it can also cause confusion, especially with four Pokemon, so it's still good to provide nouns so the reader would know who is doing what. Also by using the noun in two sentences back to back, it can help to provide reinforcement in the attack, or clarity for that matter.

"Larvitar, another Iron Head!"

The two Pokémon leapt, their attacks striking midair, metal scraping muscle. Larvitar knelt, obviously in pain. Machop's face contorted with fighting spirit, the sweat in his eyes nearly blinding him. His body shook with pain and exhaustion. Machop, again without any input from his trainer, made a feeble attempt to strike his opponent, but collapsed almost as soon as his feet left the ground. Bevan couldn't help but admire this Machop's determination, a determination that reminded him of his mother... I liked this paragraph a lot :)

Meanwhile, Taillow began swooping down at Growlithe, its beak half-open, ready to strike. Nice transition!

"Jump and Bite!"

Growlithe looked up at the incoming bird calmly, and when it came into close range, leapt up, teeth bared. Throwing its sharp teeth against Taillow's side, each slashing like a dagger, Taillow yelped in pain. Desperately trying to escape, the Taillow flew off course, struck a tree, and drooped to the ground unconscious.

Mumbling angrily, the two trainers withdrew their Pokémon, one adjusting his glasses, the other clenching his fist. They skulked off, glancing at the trees beside them, hoping to find the right berries to revive their Pokémon.

Click to expand...

The ending portion was especially done better I think :)

Also while it does work to have "Jump and Bite!" and others by themselves, especially if it will be described in the next paragraph, while confusion is less of a problem, by saying who it was and especially how they said it, can really develope the mood of the fight.

"Jump and Bite!" The boy yelled, clenching his fists, hoping for a strong attack. etc

Hope that helps :)

Thanks for the advice. I'll use it in my edit. ^_^ Just one thing:

Feign said:

Because it is a move, you can still use "Use Ember on the Machop, as right now, "Ember" is presented as a verb.

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I know it's not technically correct grammatically, but often in sports, you'll have slang/colloquialisms, which of course becomes important in something like Pokémon battling where time is precious. Is this stretching it too much?

Citrinin said:

Thanks for the advice. I'll use it in my edit. ^_^ Just one thing:


I know it's not technically correct grammatically, but often in sports, you'll have slang/colloquialisms, which of course becomes important in something like Pokémon battling where time is precious. Is this stretching it too much?

Click to expand...

No, not at all, especially if you're used to it as a NZer (I assume it would be more common place there, with cricket and other things? :P) or love sports, and is common place.

As long as you stay consistent (not for each and every attack, but like that you would all of a sudden stop using it in your 5th + chapter, then it could work :)

Yeah. I suppose when they get to the Cloak Academy, I could clarify that by one of their topics of instruction being "battle terminology" (or something) in order to minimise the time it takes to say something.

I like it.

Reading this fanfic honestly makes me feel good; it is compelling and interesting. You have unique characters with unique personalities. I'm especially interested in the Augury (capital A =D), and I'm guessing he is the one that is merely a rumour. Actually, now I think about it, it's more likely to be Dagger, as Augury's existence doesn't seem to be known at all in the outside world.

Speculation aside, your writing style continues to be excellent. Your battle scene, however, is somewhat lacking. Even your revised version is somewhat . . . rigid, perhaps. Add some more emotion, perhaps, and a light analysis of what is happening, rather than just listing. Here's an example from an upcoming chapter of Spliced, to show you what I mean-



The battle does carry on a bit longer, but I think that'll be sufficient. Bevan's relationship with Charlotte and his relative naivete interest me.
i finally got around to reviewing!!!

Holy hell, I got triple ninja'd!

Sparkling Dragon said:

I'm especially interested in the Augury (capital A =D), and I'm guessing he is the one that is merely a rumour. Actually, now I think about it, it's more likely to be Dagger, as Augury's existence doesn't seem to be known at all in the outside world.

Click to expand...

But, of course, Dagger's existence was confirmed to a crowd of people by Evan Emerit. :O

*Suspense*

Anyway, addressing the battle scene again, I'm a bit confused about what you mean by "light analysis". Could you please elaborate on this before I do Battle Scene v3? :)

Citrinin said:

But, of course, Dagger's existence was confirmed to a crowd of people by Evan Emerit. :O

*Suspense*

Anyway, addressing the battle scene again, I'm a bit confused about what you mean by "light analysis". Could you please elaborate on this before I do Battle Scene v3? :)

Click to expand...

I think by 'light analysis' Spark means anything of a few options of witnessing an event.

That is to say, it can be anything from the omniscient perspective briefly describing the event, to any of the characters exclaiming about the event. The latter, really allows for impact as it provides emotion to the situation, while the the Omniscient view brings fact without bias.

By light analysis, I mean you could have a character's internal thoughts regarding type matchups etc. Just don't overdo it like some authors who have a page of internal dialogue between each move/spell/laser barrage. Not looking at you, Paolini.

And it's also good to have some interaction between trainers as well. See above example for, well, example. But really, double battles are zetta hard to do, so I admire you for having the guts to try.

Oh my god, I've just realised I'm gonna have to do some in Shattered. The MCs are twins, after all. Crap!

Hmmm, OK. This is my plan for the battle scene revision (not a total rewrite, so changed parts are in bold). Comments, are, as always, appreciated. ^_^

---
---

"Larvitar, go!"

"Growlithe, go!"

"Taillow, go!"

"Machop, go!"

Charlotte and Bevan, upon entering the forest, had been confronted by two other Cloak hopefuls. And now, with a lush green floor and towering walls of trunks as their battlefield, they were entwined in a double battle. Now, the Pokémon and their trainers stood determined, all eager to prove themselves: after all, for three out of four of these trainers, it was their first trainer battle. Despite the lack of movement, there was a real atmosphere of danger hanging in the field. One of the trainers felt a knot unclench in his stomach, his trainer's instinct telling him it was time.

"Machop, Low Kick his Larvitar!"

"Sandstorm!"

The scrappy, blue fighter leapt at the small dinosaur, grimacing, but Larvitar stepped back, opened its mouth, and released an impressive cyclonic wave of sand. Machop tried to dodge it, but was too slow. The next thing it knew, it was on the ground in a mound of sand.

"Great job, Larvitar!" It was incredible: Bevan had never had power over anything before. The rush of power that this battle gave him, the adrenaline, the pride: it was indescribable.

"Growlithe, Ember the Machop!"

"Dodge it!"

"Don't let it get away! Iron Head!"

"Stop her Growlithe, Taillow! Peck!"

The four commands were executed in a whir. Charlotte's Growlithe spat bright amber flames in the direction of the fallen Machop. Sensing danger, the fighting Pokémon quickly rose, rolling out of the way. And into the charging, now metallic head of Larvitar. Shaking its head in a daze, Machop leapt at Larvitar, fists clenched in rage. Its trainer, barely keeping up, hadn't even given the command to do so.

"Larvitar, another Iron Head!"

The two Pokémon leapt, their attacks striking midair, metal scraping muscle. Larvitar knelt, obviously in pain. Machop's face contorted with fighting spirit, the sweat in his eyes nearly blinding him. His body shook with pain and exhaustion. Machop, again without any input from his trainer, made a feeble attempt to strike his opponent, but collapsed almost as soon as his feet left the ground. Bevan couldn't help but admire this Machop's determination, a determination that reminded him of his mother...

"Return, Machop." The trainer on the left looked down at his Pokéball with a frown on his face, an odd mixture of disappointment and frustration.

Meanwhile, Taillow began swooping down at Growlithe, its beak half-open, ready to strike.

Charlotte smiled. Taillow had an air advantage, but it was too slow for her Growlithe. And no doubt, she thought, its trainer doesn't even know how to use it.[/b] "Jump and Bite!"

Growlithe looked up at the incoming bird calmly, and when it came into close range, leapt up, teeth bared. Throwing its sharp teeth against Taillow's side, each slashing like a dagger, Taillow yelped in pain. Desperately trying to escape, the Taillow flew off course, struck a tree, and drooped to the ground unconscious. The battle was won, two proud trainers standing tall against two slumped ones.

---
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EDIT: Ninja'd.

I'd say that is a definite improvement. Nice job ;D

Its ironic though isn't it? That what one of the hardest things to write on in a fic (pokemon battling), is also somewhat the main thing.

Thanks for the comments and patience.

Yeah. XD Probably because Pokémon was intended to have been done with a visual medium. :S I'll get the hang of it eventually. ^^;

Much, much better. You are now officially better than Nintendo at this. Not like that's hard, but . . .

Chapter Four: The Shadow Spreads

Chapter Four: The Shadow Spreads
Bevan laughed jovially as Charlotte told him yet another joke. Humour wasn't something he was used to in his father's house, and this was a delightful experience. They were wrapped up in their sleeping bags around a small, but working campfire, eating fruit.

On the other side of the warm fire were Larvitar and Growlithe. Bevan was amazed that his Larvitar had personality. It was, as Charlotte had put it, more than a substitute for a gun. How right she was.

Bevan was reminded of a more innocent form of himself in Larvitar. Like Bevan, Larvitar had grown up in luxury and comforts as a child, and was experiencing the world first-hand. In a way, Bevan envied his Pokémon – Bevan's adventure was a confrontation with it. He knew the darkness that resided in people's hearts. Larvitar had not seen what he had seen. Heard what he had heard. To Larvitar, this was an adventure. This world was a place to be explored.

His face was betraying his thoughts. "Bevan, what's the matter?"

"Oh… nothing."

"Come on, Bevan, something's up," Charlotte pushed. "Tell me."

Bevan looked away, eyes prickling. "I… it happened a long time ago. It's nothing."

Charlotte stared at the back of Bevan's head for about ten seconds before saying in a low voice, "Don't let what happened to you define you."

"W-What do you mean?"

"Bevan, I know it's hard to trust. But, you need to get past that if you want to stop being a victim."

Bevan spun around and looked Charlotte in the eye. "Charlotte, no offence, but we met yesterday. Knowing my father, he probably planted you here to befriend me."

Charlotte bit her lip rather fiercely. "You… think I'm here to hurt you?"

"Knowing my father, if he did put you here, it would be to spy on me, not hurt me. And because he doesn't trust that I'm capable of social interaction."

"Bevan, I know that we've known each other for a short time. But we've both suffered from traumatic events. I can see it in your eyes. Whatever it is, you've let it define you."

"Define me?" Bevan's tone was rising, a crazed mixture between anger and vulnerability.

"I have too. My solution was to become a trainer, probably the most despised profession there is. Most trainers I met were scarred, but trainers don't band together. Even before the major crackdown, it attracted unwanted attention. We couldn't bond. You… You're the first person I told about how I was once in a cult."

Bevan looked down, and sighed. "I'm… I'm not ready… to open up."

"You never will be, Bevan. But until you do, whatever sick thing happened to you will forever be who you are, rather than something that happened to you."

Bevan was in an odd situation. He was cynical, and despised the vague notions of "society" and "people", but this one person who seemed to show him affection… it was different. The person, separate from the people.

He began to whisper. "Five years ago, my mother was acting strangely around my father. She began to challenge him at every step. Late at night, I could hear them arguing. She'd often shout things like, 'How could you do this?' I don't know what they were fighting over. I think… my father must have had an affair, because one night she threatened to tell. Tell the public."

Charlotte leaned forward, a mix of sympathy and fascination in her eyes.

"Then… my father did something… I'll never forget. His voice went all… weird. Like, it was contorted with pain. It sounded so awful, so angry, so hurt. My mother went quiet. I couldn't hear her. I had to lean against my bedroom wall. I could barely make out his words: 'You left me no choice.'

"I then heard him pick up the phone, and say, 'Take her away. Before I do something stupid.' Ten minutes later, all I could hear were…" He looked away, blinking rapidly. "All I could hear after that were… her dissipating screams."


"So, we're not going to do it?" Charlotte's soft whisper seemed to be directed at a bush. Beside her, Bevan slept soundly.

"I have a better idea," the shadowy bush replied.


Morning. The bright sun crept through the trees, and the ground was more sunlight than shadow. The dark forest of Route 616 was coming to an end, much to the delight of Charlotte and Bevan. At their sides, Larvitar and Growlithe walked, happy to be out of their Pokéballs. Bevan couldn't help but notice an uncertain look on Charlotte's face.

"Are we… lost?"

"No," said Charlotte distantly. "How hard were you trying in our double battle?"

Bevan looked quizzically at his companion. "My hardest, of course."

Charlotte frowned. "I… didn't want to draw attention to myself, so I wasn't. I was holding back."

Bevan couldn't understand where this is coming from. Not sure what to say, he just looked ahead and continued walking.

"Double battles are a bad measure of general skill," said Charlotte. "You're relying on the prowess of someone else. I need – I want, I should say, to see how good you are."

"Are you challenging me to a battle?"

Charlotte smiled, nodding. "That's exactly what I'm doing. Remember, be creative. Be clever."

How good could Charlotte be? Sure, she'd handled a team of six, but now she only had one. How much could a trainer's skill matter? All these questions buzzed around in Bevan's head, but they all seemed to be dwarfed by the big one: why does she suddenly want to battle me now?

Charlotte moved about twenty feet away from Bevan, her Growlithe moving in front of her. Instinctually, Larvitar did likewise. They were now fighting each other, their trainers' instinct dominating. No longer were they tentative friends, but opponents.

Bevan was confident, and it showed on his face. He had the type advantage. But he knew he lacked the speed to make the first strike. I have to wait.

"Growlithe, Leer!"

"Sandstorm!"

Larvitar stepped back, preparing to release a tornado of sand, but Growlithe locked his gaze. A strange wave of fear swept over Larvitar, and all it could do is return Growlithe's stare. Ending almost as quickly as it started, Charlotte issued another command, "Roar!"

Growlithe leapt forward, releasing a terrifying roar. Even Bevan tensed. Larvitar, on the other hand, was petrified, attempting to leap back into its ball.

"Larvitar – Iron Head!"

"Bite!"

Larvitar turned, still terrified by the two scary attacks, to be met by a speedy and confident Growlithe with its teeth bared. Before it could even poise itself to attack, Growlithe had its teeth wrapped around Larvitar's head, tightening its grip.

Bevan felt inadequate and hopeless. His expensive, imported, rare Pokémon hadn't even successfully released an attack. A brainwave struck him. "Iron Defense!"

Larvitar's body turned metallic, and immediate Growlithe released its grip, whimpering in pain. "Iron Head!"

Charlotte simply shook her head. "Ember!"

Bevan realised his mistake: he had solved the problem of Growlithe's teeth, but had lost his type advantage. Larvitar was about to lose spectacularly.

And the poor dinosaur did. It charged headfirst into Growlithe's fiery saliva, falling to the ground in pain as Growlithe casually stepped aside. After wriggling for a couple of seconds, Bevan's Pokémon was still. Unconscious.

Sympathetically, Charlotte took a white berry from her pocket, turned Larvitar over, and squashed the berry on his chest, gently rubbing it in. She looked up at Bevan sympathetically.

Bevan couldn't meet her gaze; he was too ashamed. "You – you have to do more than just attack," said Charlotte, her eyes transfixed on the waking Larvitar.

"What could I have done?"

"You should've told Larvitar to swing itself. It would have escaped Growlithe's grip and not lost its type advantage." Charlotte said it so easily, without thinking. At that moment, it became clear to Bevan that the trainer's mind mattered just as much as the Pokémon's strength.



After half an hour of walking awkward silence, the duo emerged from the forest. Larvitar was resting in his Pokéball. Charlotte had done likewise with her Growlithe, not wanting to appear to be gloating about her Growlithe's victory.

Bevan stared up at the mountain above them, seeing a few figures in the distance struggling to climb it. It was tall, rocky, and from the looks of it, very dangerous. There was an alternative, but it looked even less appetising: a tunnel. It didn't seem to be like a regular tunnel, where the light gradually fades: no, one could see the biting darkness by just peering from the outside.

"We'll take the tunnel," said Charlotte, trying to muster up an enthusiastic voice.

Not returning her false enthusiasm, Bevan looked at her strangely. "Are you insane? We'll get lost and the copters won't be able to find us! Besides, we won't be able to see!"

Charlotte knelt down, digging a small bracelet from her bag, and strapping it around her wrist. "Flash bracelet," she said. "High grade, too. It uses the skin of a Kadabra. Once I've turned it on, it'll be easier to see in there than it is out here."

"Where do you get these things?" Bevan couldn't help but be impressed.

Charlotte derived a lot of her happiness from those around her. Responding cheerily, she said, "I got it from a trainer a while ago. He's a good friend of mine."

Reality, however, dawned on Bevan. "How will we get through? Even if we can see, we still don't know the way…"

Charlotte winked. "We don't, but I do. When the gates are closed, Route 616 becomes the perfect place for Pokémon battles of… questionable legality. I know my way around this place. How else do you think we got out of the forest so quickly?"

The cheeriness returning, the pair headed off into the dark confines of the black tunnel.


"Lord Augury, they have kidnapped my sister."

Hand trembling, Simon Gordon handed the bloodstained letter to a gloved hand.

"To the Brain of the Oligarchy,

"The photos enclosed, are, as you will no doubt recognise, those of your sister. You may try to study the situation as much as you like, as is typical for you to do, but allow me to give you the conclusion: time is running out for dear Amber.

"I am preemptively disappointed in you, for I know your reaction will be hurt, vulnerable, and terrified. You are a hypocrite. You can endure no pain, but the pain your experiments cause is incalculable, doctor. And that is not to say nonexistent or irrelevant, which you would so love to believe.

"How shall we proceed, Simon? Reveal to me the man behind the mask. Do not allow your sister to die for your bloody fanaticism.

"More sincerely than you would like,
Dagger."

Augury finished reading the parchment, and returned it to the Oligarch. "My Lord, what shall I do?"

"Have you asked for any forces to find her?"

"A small military force, so as not to arouse suspicion. But I figured that you would be the best to find her."

"Good man. I knew I made the right choice, all those years ago, when I had to decide which Oligarch to work with. I will dispatch my best men to find her."

Simon, his features obscured by the darkness of the room, smiled arrogantly. "My Lord, can you catch him?"

"This Dagger, he has proven himself to be slippery and dangerous, as you've seen with the attacks at Cronine. But not to worry. He will die."

"My Lord, how does he know about you?"

"I have no idea, Simon. This is the first I'm hearing of him knowing my identity. He's probably a conspiracy theorist who has attached a deep significance to a stale rumour."

"What if… you stop being he who is merely a rumour? What if your identity is revealed?"

"Five years ago, that would have been dangerous. But I possess far more power over the system than I did then. It would be a blow, certainly, but ultimately, my position is immovable, my power unstoppable."

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As always, comments and constructive criticism will be deeply appreciated. ^_^