Jed was on a cloud.
"Dude, come on. Take the piece already, you've been staring at that bag of Doritos for an hour."
A cloud of pure, unadulterated, mostly drug-induced bliss.
Jed shook his head and reality swam back, vivid and confusing. He took out his phone and glanced at the interface, squinting his eyes in concentration. "It's alright man, I've only been here for twenty minutes…just chill. Yeah…" He took the pipe finally, staring inside with a bored look on his face. "We're ashin' bro, it'd probably help if, you know, we actually had something to burn."
His friend Greg simply stared at the T.V., a look of intense horror upon his face. "Whoa, these unicorns…they need to get their act together, what the crap are Cutie Mark Crusaders? I'm so lost."
Jed giggled and pointed to the TV. "Those aren't unicorns Greg, they're ponies! Silly moose. Where do you keep your greens, man?"
Greg didn't answer for a moment, a perplexed look etched into the lines of his face. "Oh, right. Bathroom, top drawer."
Jed didn't remember getting up, and he barely remembered the way to the bathroom, but by some miracle he found himself inside of it. He glanced around at his surroundings, trying to remember exactly what he'd come there for in the first place.
"I don't remember having to take a dump," he muttered, glancing around and picking up various items on a whim. "What am I – oh right." He opened the topmost drawer, took out the bag, and glanced up at the mirror.
And met Mewtwo's eyes, light and cold.
Jed froze. For what seemed like forever, he simply stared, trying to make sense of the situation. Finally, he decided to try and speak.
"Am…am I dreaming?"
Not necessarily, resounded Mewtwo's voice, in Jed's head rather than out loud. He felt a chill run down his spine. Though if it allows you to better make sense of the situation, feel free to imagine it as such. The lines between dreams and reality are blurry and inconsistent, now more than ever.
"I'm so high," said Jed monotonously, his eyes almost glazed from the intensity of his predicament.
If you're referring to your intoxication, James in Flames, I would be inclined to agree. Now, we must be going, you and I. There is much to be done.
"What? My name's Jed, not…James. I mean, I have a forum account with a name like that, I guess, but…that's not my name. You can just call me Jed, you know." Jed ran his fingers through his hair, letting out a sharp breath. "Um. Do you want to toke or something? That's kind of a ways to travel just to get bud."
Now it was Mewtwo's turn to stare. I find it difficult to comprehend what you mean by 'toke,' but I'm afraid we're running out of time to banter. We must leave at once to the forest. Be not afraid. Mewtwo raised a hand like an other-worldly beacon of destruction and Jed suddenly scampered away, falling backwards and hitting his head on the counter.
"Whoa, whoa," he said, rubbing his head and wincing. "What do you mean? I have to, like…I have to say goodbye to my friend, and my family is –"
Be not afraid, said Mewtwo again, interrupting Jed's train of thought. The voice in his head had a more gentle edge to it this time. The Pokémon will guide you to me. Embrace the light.
And then, for a moment, there was nothing.
~~~~~
There was a forest, dark and damp, and for some reason, Jed found himself inside of it.
"Worst. Trip. Ever," he enunciated, groaning. "There's no way that was weed. There's no way I'd find myself here after something like that. What a weird freaking dream…"
Jed's train of thought was cut off as he noticed something emerging from the brush. It looked an awful lot like a…like a, well…
"Sneasel," said the Pokémon, cocking its head to the side as though in a state of confusion. It walked towards Jed tentatively, unsure of what the human was doing in a forest.
Jed stared at the Sneasel, also unsure of what this human was doing in the forest. "What the crap," he whimpered, eyes widening even further.
"Don't worry about it, the shock wears off," said the Sneasel, shrugging loosely.
At the realization that the Pokémon could talk, Jed practically gagged. This was like some demented sort of movie. "W-w-wait, you can talk? Pokémon aren't supposed to be capable of human speech, how are you doing that?"
The Sneasel rolled his eyes. "It's not that simple, mate. All that's happening is you're being granted the understanding of my language. I'm guessing the guy upstairs is the one who did it…this is just like him. Whatever, man. I'm sick of being in one place. I need adventure. And you –" The dark Pokémon pointed at Jed, grinning like a maniac. "– are exactly the solution I was looking for."
"So it was real," said Jed, blinking several times. He narrowed his eyes. "Wait…but if it was a dream, you'd say it was real too. How do I know that you aren't lying to me? This could be an elaborate little ruse cooked up by my subconscious, it wouldn't be the first time it tried to screw with me."
Sneasel sighed and walked up to Jed, what appeared to be a wry smile dominating his features. Jed just stared in startled silence, anxious for whatever the Sneasel would choose to do. So when Sneasel raised his paw and slapped Jed in the face, he was sitting perfectly still.
Jed yelped. "What the hell was that for?"
"Now you know this is real," said Sneasel simply, giggling to himself. "Now come on, Mewtwo's waiting."
"Alright, you ornery prick," grumbled Jed. The Sneasel laughed even harder as he walked onwards, leading the way through the forest as Jed followed quietly behind.
"I like you. You have no clue what you're in for."
