The Ed Saga

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This is The Ed Saga! I hope you enjoy it, because I had to get it from the source code of the thread where it was first posted! Also, if the content changes, don't say I didn't warn you, because this is the warning:- Nothing of mine stays the same forever and ever. I will change it, because I'm a perfectionist and slightly mad.


Sunlight managed to batter its way through the dirty window, the drawn curtains and a heap of laundry (which was currently incubating a couple of pokemon eggs. No-one has the faintest idea why, though...) to shine in Edward's bleary eyes. He rolled over once, then twice, then (after rolling off the Snorlax he was sleeping on and getting a mild concussion) decided to just get up, find the cleanest bowl and spoon in a pile of cutlery and plastic tat that made up most of the "To Do" list and breakfast. He never though of himself as an Edward. He pondered over a spoonful of cornflakes if he wanted to be called Ford Mondeo, but after licking the bowl clean he remembered that was the name of a car, and so redecided he would be called Ed. He also wondered what had happened a few days ago...

Back in the golden age (when he was young enough to still leech of his parents and old enough to enjoy it), his life was good. But then his parents suddenly changed. Apparently, he had come of age, and therefore he could go ruin his life and the life of an innocent pokemon all by himself and they could break open the champagne. Ed was then given 10k hard currency, a deleriously happy kiss goodbye and a door slamming in his face. In their haste, they hadn't made him his breakfast. So he managed to staunch the flow of blood from his nose on a rapidly reddening sleeve, and set off for a pokemon centre, meeting a man called... Bob.

Bob explained that severe blood loss was not a good thing, and so, with a surprising (at least to his parents) burst of being bothered, he managed (with Bob's help) to stagger over to Nurse Joy, where he then asked if he could get a bandage or "something". "Something" later turned out (with Bob's help) to be a tenancy in Bob's very grotty very flat (The floors weren't really built for Snorlax-type weights...) at a price which would drive the air from your body. Either that or massive loss of blood achieved the same effect, and Ed fainted.

Upon regaining conciousness, he was told to get a life by a passing punk teenager, who probably went around in a gang or something, and Ed did. Probably due to the aforementioned blood loss, Ed got a job feeding the sick pokemon and started talking to Bob. He didn't really care about irony at that point, however, as he was tired, hungry, not really bothered and not in the best of moods.

...But he couldn't. After Ed had balanced the spoon and plate, he was shocked to hear that he had, in fact, got a pokenav in his room. It isn't surprising when you know that it was hidden under the sink. Ed couldn't express himself as he wanted at that moment, as he had picked up the receiver. It was someone who claimed to be his boss, and, like a drunkard, the last few days rudely flooded back into his memory. The shellshock was broken as the angry woman on the phone, as she demanded where on earth he thought he was. When Ed replied he wasn't exactly sure, he was unable to put his ear to the earpiece due to the noise. When the phrase "You're fired!" managed to get out, Ed felt the time was right to talk about his feelings. Ed then painfully jumped onto floor (Bob had neither the inclination nor the money for a bed to jump into at the time, and the Snorlax was eating) and got back to his dayjob; sleeping.

When Ed woke up, Bob was standing near the laundry pile with a thermometer. When Ed asked what in the world Bob was doing, Bob simply said that if the infant pokemon weren't kept at a suitable temperature, they might not hatch; that the pile of laundry was decomposing at a steady rate, releasing what might promise to be a steady thermal emission. (And if that's the simple version, be glad that there isn't a hard version. It might've involved flip-charts...). Bob also wondered what sort of pokemon Ed was given. Ed said he wondered what that strange lump was in the small of his back, and he was left wondering as Bob picked up the pokeball, which was lying nearby.

When the pokeball opened, out popped:

(Picture of a Torchic. Now where did I...)

When Ed asked what on Earth it was, Bob took a slightly battered red box out of his pocket, and it told Ed, as Bob started prodding the laundry pile again...

"Torchic:- (Remember to find Torchic pok?dex entry...)"

When Bob had finished and the question of where it came from came up, Ed was reluctant to reply...

As soon as Ed stumbled from the nasal impact of his rapid departure, Professor Redwood ran over to offer his assistance.

It is very hard to refuse anything from Prof. Redwood, as he is about 8 foot tall and heavily built. If anyone came close to a Machoke in appearance, it was him. Not surprisingly, he studied Fighting-type pok?mon, and was especially pleased with a pok?mon from the Houen region: Meditite. What was especially pleasing was the fact that it was also a Psychic-type, and so the Prof. decided to try meditating to see if he could gain similar powers. Unfortunatly, he got leg spasms and had tried to run off the pain when he saw Ed.

Upon seeing Ed, the Prof. nearly tore his arm off getting him to his "lab", and gave him a pok?ball. When Ed explained that his nose was still bleeding, Redwood told him to see Nurse Joy, as he didn't have the foggiest what to do.

The color-coding kind of threw me off. But it seems promising.