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Points Thread V2 (Wormow Style)

mathioks

owner of the lonestar's gym
99
Posts
16
Years
  • i liek mudkipz

    here's my joke : Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

    Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

    "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.

    "And what do you deduce from that?"

    Watson ponders for a minute. "Well,

    Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

    Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

    Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

    Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

    Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.


    But what does it tell you, Holmes?"

    Holmes is silent for a moment.

    "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"


    dark-maroon is my collor :D
    oh , here's another joke , just love em :p
    A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

    His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."

    The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

    3th one :
    Why do ducks have webbed feet?

    To stamp out fires.


    Why do elephants have flat feet?

    To stamp out burning ducks

    4th one:
    A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

    The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
    5th one:
    I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.

    Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
    6th one:
    A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said "it's no good trying to outrun it, its catching up".

    The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied "I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !"



    i hope you could at least laugh one time :D
     
    Last edited:

    Charmanderr

    The Real Charmander
    19
    Posts
    14
    Years
  • so, i herd you liek mudkipz?

    Anyways i have some jokes for you! :)

    Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike.

    And..

    Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her Edward. I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her Twilight book. She was talking about a fictional vampire.


    Color... Dark-Magenta? if its not taken..

    You have a toothbrush in your house.. :)


    P.S i got the jokes from a website i hope that counts, if you want to know the name PM Me dawg :)


    Well, thats all check out muhh sig ↓

    105th post i think.. and

    "I'm part of the Wormow army and if you hurt him I will kill you!"

    Why does it keep merging my posts!
     
    Last edited:

    Wormow

    Worminister
    58
    Posts
    15
    Years
  • Um, the thread will end on June 7. Through-out that day however, you will be able to exchange your points. June 6 I'll update the thread. Sorry, my life is just too busy.

    ~See you next year.
     

    Wormow

    Worminister
    58
    Posts
    15
    Years
  • Don't know if you guys know, but you still can get points. I'll just update on Saturday...
     

    Matzzz

    Danger!
    64
    Posts
    16
    Years
  • i liek mudkipz

    Today my colour will be: Baby Blue

    Heres my joke.... i warn you ... its a very long one haha ... you should laugh at least three times im telling ya lol

    100 Ways to Order a Pizza

    1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

    2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

    3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

    4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

    5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

    6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

    7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

    8. Answer their questions with questions.

    9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.

    10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.

    11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

    12. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.

    13. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

    14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."

    15. Stutter on the letter "p."

    16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)

    17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

    18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.

    19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

    20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.

    21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.

    22. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.

    23. Change your accent every three seconds.

    24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

    25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"

    26. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."

    27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."

    28. Rent a pizza.

    29. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.

    30. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

    31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.

    32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."

    33. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"

    34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.

    35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

    36. Imitate the order taker's voice.

    37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.

    38. When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."

    39. Play a sitar in the background.

    40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

    41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

    42. Ask to see a menu.

    43. Quote Carl Sandberg.

    44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.

    45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.

    46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.

    47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

    48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

    49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"

    50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"

    51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.

    52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

    53. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

    54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

    55. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.

    56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.

    57. Report a petty theft to the order taker.

    58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."

    59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.

    60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

    61. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.

    62. Try to talk while drinking something.

    63. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"

    64. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

    65. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.

    66. Be vague in your order.

    67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

    68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.

    69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.

    70. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

    71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.

    72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

    73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.

    74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.

    75. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.

    76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.

    77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.

    78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.

    79. Put them on hold.

    80. Teach the order taker a scret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

    81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."

    82. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

    83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

    84. When you'ge given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

    85. Haggle.

    86. Order a one-inch pizza.

    87. Order term life insurance.

    88. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

    89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.

    90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

    91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

    92. Engage in some serious swapping.

    93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."

    94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.

    95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.

    96. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.

    97. Order a steamed pizza.

    98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.

    99. Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.

    If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, 100. Say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."
     
    98
    Posts
    17
    Years
    • Seen Jan 19, 2015
    I liek mudkipz. Seriously. It's my fave pokemon in the 3rd generation. Don't want swampert, just mudkip is fine.
     

    Matzzz

    Danger!
    64
    Posts
    16
    Years
  • Four More jokes for you :)

    Knock Knock
    Who's their Orange
    Orange who?
    Orange you glad i didn't say banna.
    ___________________________________

    Two blondes are walking down the road when one says ''Look at that dog with one eye!''

    The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says ''Where?''
    ___________________________________

    The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, 'What'll you have?'

    The guy answers, 'A scotch, please.'

    The bartender hands him the drink, and says 'That'll be five dollars,' to which the guy replies, 'What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this.'

    A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, 'You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration.'

    The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, 'Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here again.' The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, 'What the heck are you doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!'

    The guy says, 'What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life!' The bartender replies, 'I'm very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double.' To which the guy replies, 'Thank you. Make it a scotch.'
    ______________________

    Q: If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one would be the prostitute?
    A: The one that's labeled "IDAHO"



    I'm part of the Wormow army and if you hurt him I will kill you!
     
    Last edited:

    Matzzz

    Danger!
    64
    Posts
    16
    Years
  • I liek Mudkipz

    Today i will go for Brick-Red

    and i bet you have a kettle in your house

    Joke:
    Two muffins are in an oven
    One muffin says "Boy it's getting hot in here!"
    The other says "WOW! A talking muffin!"
     

    Rich Boy Rob

    "Fezzes are cool." The Doctor
    1,051
    Posts
    15
    Years
    • Seen Mar 15, 2016
    What time(s) are you going to be up for trade on sunday?
    Oh and by the way, just so you know I liek Mudkipz and my colour is Xanadu (oh yeah baby!)
    You probably have a carpet and wardrobe in your house
     

    Wormow

    Worminister
    58
    Posts
    15
    Years
  • **Warning, not one for the kids ;)**

    I'm a kid, so I didn't read that.

    I leik Mudkipz.

    Did you see the banner that i send you?

    Color:Silver

    Someone else said Silver already.

    wants
    10 aniv entei
    10 aniv Latios
    10 aniv Pikachu

    offering: anything from my thread

    i liek mudkipz

    Liek my mum. I don't trade.

    hngnklhbjkijkdfshblkhbkhbkjn

    EDIT:i had to reserve the hundedth post!
    I am part of the Wormow army and if you hurt him i will kill you!

    Spamming is against the rules, -7 points

    so, i herd you liek mudkipz?

    Anyways i have some jokes for you! :)

    Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike.

    And..

    Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her Edward. I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her Twilight book. She was talking about a fictional vampire.


    Color... Dark-Magenta? if its not taken..

    You have a toothbrush in your house.. :)


    P.S i got the jokes from a website i hope that counts, if you want to know the name PM Me dawg :)


    Well, thats all check out muhh sig ↓

    105th post i think.. and

    "I'm part of the Wormow army and if you hurt him I will kill you!"

    Why does it keep merging my posts!

    Because you are double posting and breaking the rules.

    Can i enter?:)

    ..........................................................

    Nope.
     

    Kaitou

    Demonic Archangel
    18
    Posts
    15
    Years
  • I wonder if this is still continuing. If so, I'm part of the Wormow army and if you hurt him I will kill you!

    Color: Scarlet
     
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