[Pokémon] Arceus and other stuff. Part One Trillion

200000 years later after the weird battle between Ash and Arceus....

... ... DANGIT!!

Arceus: Damn that Garchomp! Damn it! I even ate Dialga and Palkia!

2 seconds later... Pallet Town

Arceus: Where is that kid?

Red: .... ....

Pokemon Trainer Red challenged Arceus to a battle!

Pokemon Trainer Red sent out Mewtwo!

Arceus used Rawr of Time!

Mewtwo: Screw this.

And then Mewtwo fried Kanto.

...... Sinjoh Ruins

Arceus: It is time...

Giratina appeared!

Arceus: Time to eat him...

Arceus ate Giratina!

Arceus: What is that...

Arceus suddenly used SelfDestruct!

Arceus: Nooo!!!

*large explosion sound*

.... Pokemon Day Care... (You know where this is going)

Gardevoir: Great... What the hell now Wally?

Wally: Breed with that Ditto.

Ditto: Time to get funky Gardevoir...

5 HOURS LATER...

Ralts hatched from the Egg!

999999999999999 HOURS LATER OF INTENSE GRINDING...

Gallade has Mega Evolved into Mega Gallade!

Brendan sent out Groudon!

Groudon used Precipice Blades!

Gallade fainted!

Wally: DANG IT!

*Arceus rises*

Arceus: SHOOT WHY DID I EAT EXPIRED MEW BRAIN YOGURT??!!

Arceus: HERE IT COMES!!

*Victory Road blows up*

... Real Life...

Me: What am I typing?!

THE END.

This was more or less serious than my last one but who cares?

Hey there, so I noticed you posted a couple fics here but I only managed to read though this so far. I thought I would drop by to give a few comments if you don't mind.

So, I don't mind comedic script fics if done right, but here the comedy is very rushed and at times totally random (the parts with Wally and Gallade for instance). I feel like the jokes are mostly stuff getting blown up and Arceus eating everyone . Even though this could be improved with more description of the setting and such, the comedic timing is also crucial along with the personalities of the characters. At this point, it fell flat.

Sorry if I've been very harsh here. The premise itself could work, but your execution could use some work I'm afraid.