[Pokémon] Alternate

Hi! I'm Cheeemst Wooper!

And I bring story I hope others add chapters. But I'll just start of here.

Chapter One: The Begining

Arceus was in a egg in a void of nothingness which was soon to be the Pokemon World, We all know and love. After the egg hatched, Arceus did the whole DPP thing with Dialga, Palkia, and Giratina and how Giratina was sent to the distortion world because of evil deeds. So Giratina had created his own world like ours but had made everything opposite.
And we start our story with Giovanni, the young trainer who was starting his adventure choosing his starter. He was able to choose from Bulbasaur, Squirtle, and Charmander. And he chose bulbasaur and called him Paul. And his rival was Gideon (In the regular pokemon world, He's a team rocket scientist.) Gideon chose Charmander and didn't name him.
This started Giovanni's adventure to beat the league but unlike the Red in the regular world, he focused on training while Gideon was completeing the PokeDex.
Giovanni capture 2 pokemon by the time he reached Blaine's Gym. He caught a pidgey and a metapod hoping these would help him dearly in his battle aganist Blaine,the ice type gym leader.
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Ok, so this isn't descriptive because i want to see how other people would stage the gym battle, between Giovanni and Blaine and I'll add after that.



@Bay Alexison Thanks for the tips, I've edited and I feel that I've left it at a good point. It also looks a lot smaller in the editor so it actually looked like a good length


Goooodddbbbbyyyeeee!

Hi there! So I noticed you want other folks to participate in this story, too. While I have no problems with co-writers and there have been cases where we have several folks participate in one story, there are a few problems.

First I want to point out is your first chapter is very very short. While I'm all for quality vs quantity, you could put a lot more effort into the details. Besides that, it's riddled with mistakes that shows you didn't proofread your work at least. I'll pinpoint one part here within the quote.

So Arceus, made pokemon to create the world most likeyly ("likely") starting with the famed trio, Dialga,Palkia, and Giratina.

Giratina didn't listen to his pops, Arceus. So Arceus sent his (his what?) to the disorton (distortion) world.

And this is were (I think you meant "where") our begins.

Click to expand...

Besides that, you're more or less retelling the DPPt lore with just a bit snark here. Is there a direction you like the story to go even though you want other folks to join in? You could perhaps add another scene or two to get us the set up.

Last thing, with these kind of stories where you're fine with others to add the story, usually these kind of things won't be easy to gain interest because this story could go anywhere, really, and the plot can get messy.

Sorry for rambling a lot, just pointing out something why this wouldn't work and that if you in the end decide to have this story as your own there needs to be more stuff added.