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Old April 17th, 2017 (11:17 PM). Edited October 29th, 2017 by Vragon.
    Posts: n/a
    This chapter has Mild Language

    Chapter 1
    In a Moment's Notice

    A lone drapion walked along on a deep dark path filled with dense brush on both sides. However, he wasn’t nervous nor tense. He knew who was living here and where he had to go.

    Some rustling happened to his left. He jumped and readied his pincers and tail. However, he was caught off guard as something from above landed firmly onto his back, putting its claw around his neck and a firm foot on his tail.

    “Who are you?” A growling voice demanded from above him. He tried to remain calm and uttered the words,

    “Miss, I have a letter. From Team Elite’s leader. He says, ‘Your thick headed feraligatr will listen to you if not to me’.”

    The creature above him paused for a moment. He then felt the claw leave his throat, his tail released, and the weight taken off his back. The drapion got up from the ground and began dusting himself off.

    “Sorry for that,” A less threatening voice spoke, “I can’t be too careful. After all no one needs to know I’m here. You’re just here cause of Nasch, correct?”

    The mon nodded “yes” at the female charizard. She signaled for him to follow. As they walked through the jungle area, the drapion managed to muster the nerve to ask, “So um, why are you here miss?”

    She gave him a brief glance and just kept walking on. Even with no vocal response, the drapion got the idea that it wasn’t his concern. However, she didn’t leave the stranger completely lost in the dark.

    “I live with my family.”

    “Family? You are residing here?” The drapion repeated in surprised.

    “Yes I believe I said that,” the charizard replied, “and yes I live with my family. All four of them. Speaking of one.”

    She thrust her claw into the lush leaves to the left. The drapion was left shocked and clueless as she pulled out a little charmander from his hiding place.

    “Mom….how did you-”

    “You shook the brush too much, your breathing was above silent and most of all you didn’t lower your tension enough to make your tails light very dim. I could see it clearly.”

    The little charmander crossed his arms with a scowl. Angry that his little time as a spy was cut short. He gave off a little growl to which his mother smiled and said, “Shouldn’t you be with dad?”

    The little mon’s face perked up at the mention of his father and he exclaimed, “He let me, Seliph and Jaron out of train’n early. He said that he had somethin to do.”

    Freya sighed and put the little mon on her tail. He clasped onto it and laughed a little as his seat move up and down as the adults walked on. The charmander stopped his fun for a second and asked the stranger, “Hey what’s your name mister? Mine’s Ciecro.”

    “Don’t just give out your name son,” Freya rebuked while keeping her eyes on walking.

    “It’s fine mom. Dad says you can say whatev’r you wanna as long as you make sure you kil’ them before they git away.”

    The drapion flinched and Frey facepalmed. He is the spitting image of his damn father.

    < O >

    “Jaron!” a frogadier called out as he strolled through the woods, “Jaron come on. Dad’s going to get mad if we aren’t back at the house by the time the visitor comes.”

    A little rustling came from some grass nearby. So that’s what it will be huh. Well fine Jaron, I’ll catch you.

    A smile covered the frogadier’s face as he walked on.

    Amid the many laying leaves in the area, a little tododile watched his older brother search for him. The little water type laughed in his head at his brother’s seemingly clueless appearance. Despite this scene, he remained tense since Seliph was smart and older. His eyes followed Seliph’s every movements, specifically his arms. He was aware of the frogadier’s frubbles since he had lost many hide and seek games in the past due to that feature.

    Seliph then quickly spun around and drew out a cut and threw it at Jaron. Jaron shrieked, falling over, but not till the move had struck him. To his surprise it disintegrated upon impacting him. He landed with a “thud” unharmed but startled. Dammit his substitute. But it was too late. Seliph was leaning over him with a grin on his face.

    “I take I win again,” He boasted with a slight smirk.

    “That was dirty Seliph,” Jaron growled.

    “Your own fault brother,” Seliph answered, holding out his hand to his angry sibling. Jaron raised his hand, but hesitated for a moment before clasping Seliph's and let him pull him back up. “You know what my moves are after all.”

    Jaron still was still ticked. But he shifted his anger to ask, “Yeah, but I never expected you to pull off something like that.”

    Seliph gave off a short titter. “Jaron, it’s called being creative. Mom taught you that moves are extensions of you power. Use your head to manipulate them in ways to your advantage.”

    Despite his frustration, Jaron let out a little smile. Jaron then pounced on Seliph laughing and telling how next time he would win. Seliph laughed along and the started walking.

    They didn’t stop till they arrived at a little hut in a clearing. The two went around it to the back and entered. Once inside Jaron let out a little yawn and asked Seliph, “Hey so when are mom and Ciecro gonna get back?”

    Seliph just shook his head. Jaron let out a bigger yawn and muttered, “I hope mom gets back soon. At least before dad,” Seliph slumped his head down. Their faces shot right back up as a loud slam filled the room. A growl came from the front of the house saying, “Anyone here! Freya, Ciecro, Seliph, Jar-”

    “We’re here dad,” the two answered, coming to the front room. They couldn’t lock their eyes with Dad’s scary ones, but remained focused on his neck. Jaron turned his head to the floor shaking slightly.
    Seliph remained more composed, but was a little nervous to since their dad’s tone earlier indicated business was happening. Business never happened often, but when it did their dad, Gathor, wasn’t the nicest father around.

    Despite his unease with having a visitor, Gathor relaxed a little upon confirming that the other two were fine. Their avoiding eye contact didn’t bother him, since he had more important things to do than put on a false face. Turning his gaze to the window, Gathor went on to say, “Freya will be bringing someone here very soon. I want you two and your brother to stay in the back. Do whatever you like just don’t come to the front nor go outside.”

    He slammed the door as he walked out. The two stopped their shivering and let out relieved sighs. Jaron broke the silence first.

    “You think the visitor is scary? I mean dad is all tensed up. He didn’t even smile slightly.”

    “I don’t know Jaron,” Seliph replied, “I don’t think he would be scared of some mon. I mean dad is one of the toughest Norfarians out there.”

    Seliph looked at the Norfarion crest on Jaron’s right shoulder, something all spawn of a Norfarion parent would automatically inherit. A birthmark of their bloodlines always on the right shoulder. Course his and Jaron’s were but one of the five clan’s crest; There’s being of the Norfair the descendants of the Original, Blaine.

    Suddenly voices were heard outside. The two rushed to the window to see their father carrying Ciecro under his arm while Freya talked to a drapion.

    Is that the visitor? Seliph thought. The door once again slammed open and a little Ciecro was thrown in. The charmander quickly got to his feet and rushed towards the exit. He didn’t make any progress due to the feraligatr’s hand walling his son.

    “But dad I wanna be there to,” the little one demanded.

    “This is an adult conversation. Stay with your brothers, Ciecro.”

    “But I wanna be there!” Ciecro protested, “I’m ten now so I’m old enough. Come on Gathor.”
    Gathor gave off an annoyed growl and pushed his son back with his palm. He bent down and put his face on level with Ciecro’s.

    “Son if you can’t move my hand you aren’t of age to participate in this. Now stay here Ciecro,” He looked away for a second and then muttered, “and if you’re good I’ll throw you high in the air again.”
    Ciecro’s eyes widened with glee and he exclaimed, “Promise?”

    Gathor tried to keep a straight face, but Ciecro’s cute smile even made him fail to fully hide a smile. “Promise. Now stay with your brothers and be good.”

    The door shut tightly behind Gathor as he left the three kids inside. Jaron and Seliph got from their spot at the window and joined their brother in the middle of the room. It was just them and whatever they wanted to do for fun.


    That night Jaron and Ciecro where in their straw beds sleeping well. Seliph however was wide awake. He thought about the stranger and the wondered what he wanted from his parents. Suddenly he heard a door open with a little flicker of light come from the area outside their room.

    “I’m going to bed Frey,” The voice of their father resounded, “Tell me what it says in the morning.”

    This sparked Seliph’s curiosity. ‘What it says’ so it’s a message. He got to his feet and tip toed his way to his Mom’s study. He peered inside and gazed at the room he was rarely allowed to be in. His Mother was at the desk looking at something on it.

    “Hmm, I wonder what this is about,” she thought out loud. She stopped pondering as she detected someone outside her study. Acting on instinct her wings shot up, causing something to nudge the door a little. She quickly deduced it was merely one of the kids spying through the door Gathor neglected to fully close.

    “Don’t leave, come in here now,” she spoke to the silhouette in the door crack. A nervous Seliph walked in. His face had guilt written all over it. Freya took a deep breath and asked for an explanation.

    “I just was curious,” Was Seilph’s reply. Freya gave him a stern look not taking this answer lightly.

    “Seliph come here,” she ordered the frogadier. He reluctantly walked over head still downcast. Despite his face looking at the floor, Freya could easily see the remorse in his eyes. She looked at the crest on his right arm and pondered deeply.

    “Son,” she spoke in a softer tone, “look at me,” After a few minutes of moving, his eyes finally locked with hers. She picked him up and placed him in her lap. The Water type was got off guard by this odd move by his mother.

    “Seliph, since you’re awake do you want to help me read this?”

    It took a few minutes for it to click, but Seliph realized that he wasn’t in trouble but on the contrary, lucky. He looked at the piece with is mother and read over its contents.

    “What’s odd about this? It’s straightforward,” He stated after finishing.

    She explained, “Letters like this may look direct. But usually they hold another hidden message. Letters like these sent by Norfarion higher ups tend to be coded to be decrypted later by its receiver,” His eyes widened with interest and resolve. But he had no knowledge of any “Code”. Seeing the stumped look on his face she decided to throw out an example.

    “Well, some words may say one thing, but usually there is a metaphor or simile in its meaning. Or possibly retracing a sentence or paragraph. I believe this one might be like that so give it a try.”
    Anxious to impress his mother, Seliph tried again. After re-reading he looked back to his mom and summed the contents.

    “The first two paragraphs were very straightforward about inquiring how you were and what you and dad have found. Also it asks if any additional research materials are needed, But,” he shifted to a more analytical stare. “The third one talked about some list of information and random stuff.”

    “Any thoughts?” she asked in a challenge tone.

    “Well, the list of stuff in the third paragraph appears to be normal items. But, the first paragraph about asking how you were and if you needed research material felt a little weird. I mean, would these travel items be research material?”

    “I don’t leave here when I work so let’s see about this list,” Freya concurred with the thought. Seliph peered closer to the list of items and began reading them out loud.

    “Materials that will be sent for research.
    Healing Items
    Food Supplies
    2 Fire orb
    A pair of Eye drop seeds
    Huh? Hmmm”

    “You found something?” She asked.

    “Well these two ‘Fire orb’ and ‘Eye drop seeds’ are pretty specific. Maybe they are related to the secret message. What do you thi….”

    He stopped upon seeing a serious expression cover her face. It was like she was seeing something horrible from the letter. Seliph said her name over and over till she snapped out of it.

    “Mom what’s wrong?” He innocently asked. She didn’t answer, but looked away at her shelf of books. This was a side of his mom he hadn’t seen before. A scared side. This made him uneasy and sent a shiver down his spine.

    Freya put him down on the floor and walked over to the book case. She was mumbling something under her breathing, but Seliph could only make out the words, “incase” and “Come”. As she fiddled with some books Seliph noticed her wings begin to spread a little. Another indication of her anxiousness thus giving him more reason to worry.

    She pushed some books aside and pulled out a little box. She then took a key out of one of the satchels on her travel belt and checked to see if the box was locked. After confirmation, she put the box in a drawer in her desk and locked it with another key.

    Seliph remained quiet all through this, but was scared to even think of what this could mean. His mom scared? His mom was never scared? What could possible scare her?

    She walked over to her son and moved onto one knee. She gently grabbed his hands and moved them into a cup. She then put the box key in those hands and closed them.

    “Mom wha? What’s this?”

    “Seliph, I want you to take care of this. What I’m going to tell you is between me and you. I don’t want you to speak of this to anyone at all. Son, if…” She paused to take a second to think of what to say.

    “If what?” She sighed softly and with a slight smile she said, “Seliph I want you to hide that key. Only use it and take what’s in that box you saw should we be…attacked.”

    His spirit fell at that last word. A thousand question flooded his brain. Freya put on of her claws on his shoulder. She leaned in and nuzzled his cheek as to calm him down.

    “This is only in an emergency Seliph. I know you are young, but I need you to be brave. You’re smart and clever and you can take care of your brothers and yourself if need be. I know this is sudden, but I tell you this because I trust you fully.”

    These words only made him feel worse. He tried to pull out of the nuzzle, but Freya got the message. She stopped and pulled back her head. Looking directly into Seliph’s eyes, she whispered something to him.

    Seliph returned to his bed, shaking. What happened was the biggest question in his head. He looked at the key his Mom gave him and obeying her, stuffed in into his bed of straw. He lay there wide awake unable to even close one eye.

    What did she mean by attacked? Will it happen soon? He rolled over to his side and tried to sleep. He wasn’t scared, but the words his mom told him eased him a little.

    “I and your father love you Seliph. We might not show it all the time, but we do. You, Ciecro and Jaron mean so much to us. I know you’ll do me proud if need be. Because you have strong blood in your veins, but more importantly you are the smartest kid I know.”
    Old April 21st, 2017 (4:49 PM).
    Bay's Avatar
    Bay Bay is offline
    Darkinium Z
    Join Date: May 2006
    Location: Dani California
    Gender: Female
    Nature: Sassy
    Posts: 5,383
    Hey, since I checked out Zekerane's Journal I thought I would check out this story too, at least for a little while.

    Curious, you mentioned you had worked on this for a while, so I assume you wrote this before the other fics that you had posted? Either way, there are some grammar/formatting issues I want to address for a bit. First off is the footnotes you would leave in the middle of the narration. While those facts are interesting, I feel those would work better if left until the very end and in the authors notes so it doesn't ruin the flow of the narration.

    Next, sometimes you get the punctuation of the dialogue right and sometimes you don't.

    “I’m sorry, Mam” he apologized, slowly walking towards the door, “I won’t bother you [b]anymore”.[b]

    “Wait Seliph” his mother objected, this time in a gentler tone. He stopped and closed his eyes, assuming that he was doomed for a scolding.
    The bolded part the period should be before the quotation marks.

    Both of those dialogue you forgot to put a comma before the quotation marks. So the correct format would be-

    "I'm sorry, Mam," (etc).

    "Wait Seliph," (etc).

    I actually noticed this mistake on several occassions, so perhaps you should take the time to proofread or have someone else check for those.

    “Seliph” She comforted him, “Me and your father aren’t teachers that could help you. Your father isn’t very patient and well, I’m guilty of being overbearing. Plus, you’ve shown you have more than learned much on your own. Now dry those tears my little Froakie (grin) time for me to comfort you.”
    Ok I can think of a couple ways to fix this part. First off, the (grin) is a bit jarring and something I also noticed a lot. You can have it like this:

    "...Now dry those tears my litle Froakie. a grin stretched across her face. "Time for me to comfort you."

    The Seliph part is also missing a punctuation mark. The "she comforted" I'm not sure if you want it as a dialogue tag, but if that's the case I would use "she said in a soothing voice" or something similar and then some action instead. "She comforted him" makes me thing she's actually doing that action, like caressing his back or something.

    “I didn’t mean to belittle him. He’s a good child, just weak by body.” Freya eyes were closed and beginning to cry a little. She buried her face against his.

    “He’s your son too. He’s mine too. He just wants to be a part of us, and he’s obviously upset about it. He feels inferior to us and his brothers.”
    “But enough of this talk.” He spoke softly, “If our enemies are indeed near, then we need to be ready to give those Bastards Hell. But first my dear” He grinned as he reached around her waist.

    Freya smiled back putting her claws around his wide neck,

    “Let’s embrace again. I’m sure command will aid us, but if they do find us before we receive aid let’s make them regret coming. Are the kids asleep?”

    These two I feel you can put the paragraphs together since the dialogues have the same speaker. The interactions between the mother and father are cute though.

    Ok, enough with the grammar stuff. I admit I don't think I have too many thoughts on the beginning just yet. The start did became a bit info dump and I think it would be better if the characters' traits and interaction where shown gradually throughout the story. Also even though Freya explained I feel it was weird she didn't teach both Seliph and his other sibling at the same time. Otherwise, I like the interaction between Seliph and Freya there and I'm curious about this "attack" being mentioned. I might try to stick to following this when I can.

    "Meowth are all right. They don't care who you are or anything."
    Foul Play [Chapter Four up!]
    Old April 21st, 2017 (10:09 PM). Edited October 29th, 2017 by Vragon.
      Posts: n/a
      This chapter has language, dark themes, and violence

      Chapter 2
      A Rising Temper

      Seliph could hardly sleep that night due to info drop from his mother mixed with unsureness of the future. He opened his eyes to see morning light coming from the window. He sat up and rubbed his tired eyes.

      Hm? Jaron and Ciecro aren’t here. Guess they got up before I did.

      He looked at their door to see Jaron trying to drag a sleepy Ciecro to the door.

      “Come on Ciecro. We’ve got to go before mom or dad come to drag us out,” Jaron stated, his words spaced out with yawns.

      “I don’t wanna. I’m tired Jaron, so there,” Ciecro sleepily answered, struggling against Jaron’s weak pulls. Seliph let out a sigh, got on his feet and moved them out the door.

      While Seliph was getting berries from their storage, the other two were waiting at the table half asleep. Jaron’s stomach then let out a little rumble. He yawned and said to Ciecro,

      “Heh, looks like my stomach is getting impatient. I hope Seliph gets back here with breakfe-” He stopped his words at the sight of Ciecro sleeping again. He growled as he got up, walked over to his sleeping brother and began to shake him roughly.

      “Wha? Jaron what the hell are you doing.” Ciecro asked angrily.

      “Waking your sorry self up. Stop snoozing you baby.” Jaron answered.

      “I snooze if I wanna so shut it.”

      “Seliph’s gonna be back soon with breakfast and mom said we need to be awake for breakfast.”

      “I can catch a few z’s before then.” Ciecro pushed Jaron’s hands off of him earning a light spray in the face from Jaron’s Scald. He jumped out of the seat and the two began growling.

      “I said I’m gonna sleep more!”

      “And I said you’re gonna wake up!”

      “You can’t tell me what to do. I’m going to go to sleep now and you can’t stop me!” Jaron gave a little smirk and sprayed Ciecro again with a light Scald. This was the last straw. After wiping the water off his eyes Ciecro jumped and started taking a deep breathe. Jaron did the same. The two were about to fire Scald and Flamethrower. But before they could unleash their moves a pair of frubble gobbets hit them in their mouths. The frubbles sealed their mouths shut.

      “Can’t you two just get along,” Seliph reproached. He ambled over to them with a frustrated gaze. The two pulled the frubbles off their mouths and began arguing about who started it and that the other one was being a jerk.

      “Enough both of you!” Seliph yelled, “I don’t want to keep separating you both from your childish squabbles. Why can’t you two just grow up and stop giving me more problems,” Jaron and Ciecro froze in their places as Seliph stormed off. He left the berries on the table, but Jaron and Ciecro didn’t feel like eating.

      “W-what just happened,” Jaron stated, still surprised from Seliph’s outburst.

      Why’d he have to go and do that? The charmander thought angrily. He went to a wall, rested his back onto it, crossed his arms and mused over what happened with a scowl. A few minutes later, Jaron walked over to Ciecro. He gave his sibling a concerned look. Ciecro sighed and said, “I guess we were being babies weren’t we,” He uncrossed his arms and stood back on his feet. The two decided fix this. However they would have to wait, due to their father calling them and Seliph for training.

      < O >

      Seliph let out a shout as he threw his cuts at small wooden logs set up for training today. One by one he struck the targets, showing his bad mood with the excessive force with each throw. This was noticed by his brothers, watching nearby with Gathor.

      “Man he still looks pretty mad,” Ciecro whispered to Jaron, “He’z throwing them moves with pretty stiff arms.”

      “I hope he doesn’t mess up. He hates messing up his throws, especially in training,” Jaron murmured back, “but he only has three targets left and he’s been nailing every target so far so he should be fi-”

      “Good so far Seliph,” Gathor shouted, breaking the boys’ conversation, “now show me just as good aiming while dodging this.”

      Seliph stopped and faced the three mons. He took a light stance, thinking it was one of the three who would play obstacle this time. Jaron and Ciecro looked at each other perplexed.

      “Di’ he ask you to be the-” Ciecro began, but stopped as Jaron shook “no”. At that moment they heard a yell from their brother. They swung their heads back to see Seliph on his back shaking. In front of their brother was a shallow but clear claw slice mark. They followed Seliph’s gaze to see Freya in the air, retracting her Dragon Claw.

      “Mom!” They shouted in unison. This earned the “Shut up and watch,” look from their father.

      He rushed towards the targets while glancing back to see where Freya was. He threw another Cut and again it was destroyed by another Air Slash. Seeing she took his diversion, he suddenly leaped up and fired a Water Pulse at is mother. Due to her using Air Slash, her wings were open enough to be hit before fully closing. He took advantage of the time he bought himself and headed towards the targets.

      “Yeah you’ve got it Seliph!” they shouted as Seliph took out the first target. They cheered again as he nailed the second as well. Seliph drew another cut for the last one.

      “Seliph look out!” Jaron shouted causing Seliph to lose focus for his aiming for a second. He threw it only to barely miss the wooden log. The miss devastated him, but not enough to hesitate dodging Freya second attack.

      Jaron shriveled back at messing Seliph’s aiming. Ciecro turned back and tried to cheer him up.

      “It’s ‘kay Jaron. Yah only wanted to cheer ‘im on. I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

      “But I messed him u-”

      “Jaron,” their father growled while giving him a stern stare, “not another word. Whatever comes from the result will happen. Now watch your brother.”

      Jaron’s head bent slightly down as he turned back to watch Seliph. The two’s spirits dropped as they watched Freya kept unleashing attacks at him and eventually landed a hit. Jaron groaned and Seliph scowled as they saw their brother pinned by Freya’s right arm.

      They watched as Seliph got up and walked off very angry. Freya walked over to them and whispered something to Gathor. He responded with, “Can’t you do it Freya since he listens to you.”

      “But he almost did it and he hates missing. At least say something,” Freya argued. Gathor gave her a rigid look, but Freya’s unyielding scowl trumped her husbands. Gathor looked away and rubbed the back of his head.

      “Okay, I’ll talk to him,” Gathor stammered. He went after Seliph, while Freya stayed with the other two. Jaron turned to his mom and struggled to apologize due to his crying.

      “Its fine dear,” Freya reassured him, lifting the totodile in her claws, “your brother is better than to hold a grudge. Don’t worry, he’ll forgive you no doubt,” Her words lifted his heart a little and he gave a little grin amid his tear covered face.

      “Yeah,” Ciecro added, “and if he’s still mad I’ll knock him back to his senses.” The two fire types laughed

      while Jaron joined with a muffled chuckle. Suddenly, an idea crossed Jaron’s mind.

      “Hey mom, can you do me a favor?”


      “I want to apologize to my brother, but I need something to do it.”


      Seliph curled himself up next to a tree letting angry thoughts run all through his head. He drowned his angry gaze at a little pond a few feet in front.

      Suddenly a noise caught his attention. He got out of his slump and braced his body against the tree. He waited for the stranger to get close enough and figured where the head was. He leaped from the tree and punched. His fist was caught by Gathor’s much larger palm. He pulled him in and grabbed one of the frogadier’s ankle with his other hand. He held Seliph upside-down wearing a playful grin on his face.

      “You throw your punch too tightly,” Gathor stated as he released his grip. Seliph got up from his fall, scowling with immense frustration.

      “Leave me alone,” Seliph ordered as he stormed off a little ways.

      “Make me,” Gathor challenged. Seliph tightened his palms as his exasperation grew. He was so engrossed in being mad that he didn’t hear Gathor walked over to him. He felt the large claw of the feraligatr rest on his shoulder. He tried to shrug away, but the grip was hard enough to cause him to submit to it.

      “Sit down Seliph,” Gathor asked in a dominant yet soft voice. Seliph obeyed, and Gathor joined him. The two mons stared their reflections in the pool. Gathor pondered on how to start the uncomfortable heart to heart talk. His thinking was halted at Seliph grumbled, “Why are you here?”

      Gathor replied with, “To talk to you.”

      “About how I shouldn’t have been affected by it and hit the damn target!” Seliph shot back. Gathor scowled from a mix of surprise and annoyance.

      “I don’t appreciate this outburst after I came to-”

      “You mean after mom told you to!” Seliph shouted, “Face it dad, I failed so leave me alone. I don’t want to hear a dumb lecture from you,” Gathor sighed as he slightly turned to face his angry son.

      “Seliph,” Gathor calmly said, “you’re not wrong about mom telling me to talk to you. But it’s not like I never want to talk to my son.”

      “So why don’t you?” Seliph skeptically countered. Gathor looked back at the water. Seliph’s expression changed as he looked at Gathor’s eyes. Wait, he’s nervous?

      “I’m not good at these things like your mother,” Gathor answered. He turned again to his son and asked, “Did mom ever tell you how we met?”

      “Yeah,” Seliph replied in a calmer tone, “she was tasked by her captain at that time to capture or take you out do to your criminal reputation. She outsmarted you in your fight and caught you. You were later offered a chance for redemption if you worked with them.”

      “And eventually she and I worked hard enough to join Team Alpha and become mates. I was a hard bastard, but your mother broke me. She’s a wonderful person who took an imbecile like me and made me her rattata.” Gathor finished followed by a chuckle.

      Seliph hid his face, trying to obscure his childish grin. Gathor’s expression then changed to daydreaming. Seliph leaned in closer, devoting his full attention to Gathor’s next words. “You know she taught me something that I’m still trying to do.”


      “She taught me that I’m okay being weak. I remember being on a mission with her and another teammate. I wasn’t strong enough to cover them and as a result your mother was injured badly. I hardly left her side. This was the first time I was truly afraid. Not from being weak or inferior, but because I failed her.”

      This was a side of his father Seliph never noticed. A side he felt he needed to see. Hearing this disclosure from his father sent mixed feelings into his heart.

      “When she recovered she assured me it was alright.” Gathor then gave Seliph a stern look, “I didn’t believe her. I trained hard for days. Pushing myself to never fail her or anyone I cared about ever again. One day she asked me to spar and I agreed. In our fight she left herself open. Intentionally or not I don’t know, but I couldn’t attack her there. It was then she showed me how much she cared with three sentences.”

      To Seliph’s surprise, Gathor started rubbing his cheek. Gathor closed his eyes and turned his face to the branches above. “She punched my face and shouted, ‘you think you’re so strong that you’d rather not fight me with your full power and treat me like I’m some pansy in the wind!? You need to get your self-righteous head out of your weak mouth and fight like the mon I know you are. A bastard that will die fighting alongside me and will never give into damn self-doubt cause he knows I like men I can punch and can punch me back just as hard!’”

      Seliph tried but couldn’t hold in his barrel of laughter. Gathor blushed from his sons chortling, but then joined in. After the two calmed down Gathor said, “Seliph I don’t want you to be strong to please me only. I want you to become strong so you can surpass me. Same for your brothers as well. I want you all to be able to kick my ass and laugh along with me. We may be an annoying family but I hope you won’t let that affect you.”

      Seliph thought to himself and said, “So your saying love you all by being distant?”

      “Not exactly, we still should try and be a close family, but you are yourself and so am I. Don’t do your own battles with us in mind. I want to rely on you when I need you and I want you to do the same. Watch my back and let me watch yours. Be angry at me and let me have your rage. I want you to be honest and I wish I am not the perfect father, but one you can love while punching his face in.”
      The two started laughing again. Seliph got to his feet, but was swept up by his Dad’s arms and place on his shoulders. Gathor gave a goofy smile and Seliph hugged his dad’s head.

      “Thanks dad. You may be a brute, but I don’t want any other dad.” Gathor headed home with Seliph sitting on his shoulders.


      Freya peered out the window, wondering what was taking Gathor so long. Surely he wasn’t that bad at talking to his kid. She gave an annoyed growl and was about to walk away, till she spotted a chesnaught headed there way.

      “Something must be up if he’s here. Gathor better get back soon,” she said to herself leaving her watch at the window. After telling the two present kids to play in their room she headed out to meet the unanticipated visitor.

      “Hello miss how are the young ones,” the chesnaught politely greeted. Despite her uneasiness, she nodded her head in greetings and answered with, “They’re healthy. I assume something is going on for you to be here.”

      The large mon looked around a little and let out a little sigh. Freya then asked, “Have you seen any of them?”

      “…yes, I and other rangers spotted mons that fit the eyes you talked about save for them only being that color in the iris. We’ve also found-”

      Their conversation was interrupted by a shout from Gathor as he stepped out of the woods with Seliph on his shoulders. Freya smiled at her husband’s success for a moment, but finally drew to business and gestured her head towards the chesnaught. Gathor’s cheerful expression changed as well, getting the message. He picked up the frogadier off his shoulders and set him down.

      “Go inside and play with your brothers. I and your mother have some business to discuss with this mon here. Be good and don’t leave the house without asking us first.” Seliph gave a serious, but understanding nod and headed inside. Once Seliph was inside, Freya now joined by Gathor, resumed the conversation.

      Without introductions, Gathor asked to be filled in on the news. Freya relayed the info about the spotting of the cult’s presence in the town. The mere mention of these strangers made Gathor tense on instinct. He kept his composure as he faced the chesnaught and asked, “Have they done anything?”

      “There have been some attacks on rural families. No more than a collection of one or two in a spot, but still nothing left but ashes.”

      Freya let out a sigh. Despite the sympathy she felt for the victims of these recent attacks, she took relief in the thought that the enemy wasn’t aware of them yet. Gathor let out an angry snarl, pulling in Freya’s gaze.

      “It’s awful I know,” The chesnaught added. Gathor didn’t seem to hear him at all. Their visitor felt he had misspoken till Freya explained, “The red eyes are no doubt doing a ‘life gathering’ in the area and my husband doesn’t react well to this.”

      “Hm? Life gathering?” The ranger replied confused. Freya shook her head and explained they don’t exactly know what it is done for, but they would attack mons and take them away for whatever they plan to use those poor souls for.

      This disclosure was a bit unsettling for the ranger. In an attempt to lighten the mood for Gathor and their guest, Freya asked Gathor how his time with Seliph went. The big feraligtr scratched his head a little. Not out of thought, but apparently out of unease.

      “Well um…it went okay. Not too great but uh he at least feels better and um-” She walked up and gave him a little smooch on the cheek. Gathor couldn’t help but blush and let out a slight titter at it. A fake cough from the chesnaught snapped the two back.

      “Well,” The ranger stated, “I’ll inform the other rangers to evacuate the more rural families. You two should come as well.”

      “Thank you but that won’t be necessary,” Freya declined, surprising the guy. “Considering we haven’t been attacked here means they don’t know we’re here. And considering your report of mons being there implies that they don’t know of our existence here. Otherwise your town would be overrun trying to find us. We should stare here and try to weather this out.”

      A chill went down the ranger’s spine. Gathor gave a short laugh and said, “Guess it’s a good thing this place doesn’t look suspicious. Though, you might wanna keep casual if you don’t want to be killed off.”
      Despite this just making his nerves worse, the mon gave a light laugh and bid them farewell. As he was about to leave he pulled an orb out of his pouch. He talked to the voice coming from the communication orb and after a few seconds placed it back in the bag. He took a second to clear his throat, turned to face Freya and after a deep breath said,

      “Miss Frey, apparently a mon arrived town and says he knows you.”

      “I wasn’t expecting anyone but the messenger, Freya muttered. The ranger scratched his head upon saying, “He says he’s your brother.” He heard a low angry growl come from the female charizard. She muttered fiercely under her breathe,

      “Why in hells name did he come!?” After a gulp, he continued.

      “He said that he wished to join you both after um … being smart and since the others have let him know about the attacks he states will join you too ASAP,” The Grass/Fighting type replied. Freya face palmed and grumbled in annoyance, “Does he have a psyducking death wish?”

      Gathor muttered with a smile, “I wonder what he did to ‘be smart’.”

      “When he gets his sorry little ass his I’m gonna take his head and brea-”

      “Whelp, I need to go now. Those families aren’t going to evacuate themselves,” The chesnaught said, hiding his discomfort under a mirth tone. He darted away before Freya finished, waving to the startled two without looking back. “Have a good day and stay safe!” was the last thing they heard as he disappeared into the forest.

      Gathor laughed into his hand as Freya calmed down with a sigh. Upon finishing, Gathor said to his annoyed wife, “Your brother is pretty stubborn. He probably will be in bigger trouble going back then what you’ll do to him.”

      “When he gets here I’ll pound that idiot’s face in!” Freya shouted in frustration.

      “You might not want to, after all we could use all the help we can get. Especially if they figure out you know.” Gathor pointed out. Freya gnarled as she buried her face into her hand. Gathor laughed as he put his arm behind her neck and whispered, “Come on, it’s been a while. He can help us and let’s face it, you he’s still your little brother you know and love.”

      Despite the slight teasing tone, Freya couldn’t deny he had a point. She nodded, but suddenly said, “I’m still going to punch that loser’s face in.”

      “Let him have it honey,” there shared a little chuckle as they headed back inside.
      Old April 22nd, 2017 (10:15 PM).
      Bay's Avatar
      Bay Bay is offline
      Darkinium Z
      Join Date: May 2006
      Location: Dani California
      Gender: Female
      Nature: Sassy
      Posts: 5,383
      Grammat stuff first under the spoilers.

      Jaron sighed as he lifted his jaw of the bread he was eating.

      “Let’s see,” Jaron sighed with a slight frown, “He’s an adult while you’re only ten, you’re a fire type with him being water, He’s a strong and trained Norfarion fighter and you’re a hot headed Charmander, who’s completely unaware of the mons around him I might add, and lastly if the last times you've tried to best him show any progression on your part, you wouldn’t even land a hit till you’re an adult.”
      Couple things. You had "Jaron sighed" twice there. The first bolded part it depends if you want to keep the comma or not. If keep, then the h in "He" needs to be lowercase. Otherwise, you can also just replace the comma with period. Last bolded part seems to be a missing word there.

      The Jaron ran over to give her his morning hug and Ciecro joined them, but didn’t join the hug.

      While this was still a bit vague of an answer, Jaron still focused on the bright part. Not having studies today. Jaron looked at Seliph happy that now the three would have the whole day together, but notice Seliph only wore a droopy face. He began to wonder why exactly he was being sad, and though about the little rebuke Seliph gave Ciecro and him. As Freya left the room, an idea suddenly flashed in the mind of the young tododile. He got his own bag from his little floor bed and stood in front of his older siblings and suggested,

      “Since we don’t have anything to do today why don’t we three go out and have fun in the jungle?”
      -First bolded part I feel "looked at Seliph happy" sounds weird. Maybe "Jaron loooked at Seliph with a large grin" or even "Jaron grinned at Seliph."

      -Second bolded part "in the young totodile's mind" sounds better in my ophinion.

      -I think instead of "...siblings and suggested,", have it formatted it better like this:

      ...He got his own bag from his little floor bed and stood in front of his older siblings.

      "Since we don't have anything to do today why don't we three go out and have fun in the jungle?" he suggested.

      He quickly retrieved his bag and rejoined the curious two. From the bag he brought, Jaron pulled out a ball with a long of string wrapped around. Then turning to his brothers he happily exclaimed,

      “Ciecro, Seliph go find something you really like and bring it back here!”
      I've been seeing this format often. For this one, you can put the two paragraphs together.

      So, you mentioned that you did some edits before posting this, but I still see several occasions you got the punctuation of the dialogue wrong. I won't point out which ones you did right and which ones you did wrong as that will take a while, but I still recommend having someone else help you comb through the dialogue or look up rules on dialogue punctuation, even if this is one of your older works.

      Ok, onto my thoughts on this chapter. I feel you did better showcasing Seiph being the more silent sibling and the one to make the peace. I'm not sensing too much personality from Jaron or Ciecro yet, but that's probably me needing to pay attention more/reread again for that. I do think their necklace scene is cute, though. as for the other developments, I'm curious over this "life gathering" thing the kids' parents had talked with the Chestnaught guest and Freya and Tehteron's relationship.

      (I feel bad talking more about the grammar than the story, but some of the errors distracted me, sorry D= ).

      "Meowth are all right. They don't care who you are or anything."
      Foul Play [Chapter Four up!]
      Old May 1st, 2017 (10:42 PM). Edited October 29th, 2017 by Vragon.
        Posts: n/a
        Contains Language
        Chapter 3
        A Last Order

        A sigh came from Seliph as he sat on a stool in his and his siblings’ room. He would occasionally look at his bed, specifically at the part obscuring the key. Hmm…well all I can do is do my part. My mom gave me that thing and my dad trusts me to…..I dunno, she said to take the contents and my brothers and get to safety. Course, they probably would want to stay or whatever. They’re so stubborn. He let out a sigh as got off the stool and went to the window. “How long till Uncle Tethe gets here?”

        “Seliph!” the voice of his mom resounded in the room.

        What does she want now? He thought as he obeyed the call. He walked into her study. Freya was sitting at her desk again, her wings were folded inward and her eyes focused on something on her desk. Seliph walked up and asked what she needed.

        “I just wanted to know how you’re holding up.”

        “Fine, why do you ask?”

        “You were a bit upset after training today.”

        Seliph darted his eyes away and rubbed his left arm. He reiterate that he was fine, but his answer was less than convincing.

        “Look son,” Freya said bluntly, “You can’t expect me to believe you’re okay especially after last night. Now just tell me.”

        Seliph took a sigh. He turned his head to her shelf, where his mom had pulled out the key. “I well….I got scared okay. I know you need me to do it, but how would I keep the key and my brothers safe if it happens?”

        Freya then looked at him for a second and said, “How about you go play with your brothers?”

        The answer startled Seliph. Why did she ask him and then just drop it that quickly.

        “But…But Mom”

        “Go play with your brother right now Seliph. I have something to finish here. I’ll talk to you when I’m done. They’re outside near that little pond you all like to play at.”

        “Fine then!” He shouted and stormed out of the room. Freya didn’t budge from her position, but merely laughed to herself. I’ve set you up Jaron, now don’t disappoint me you silly little totodile.

        Seliph stomped his way to where his brothers were, ranting in his head about his mom’s mean joke. He was nearing it when he heard something up ahead.

        “What are they up to now?” He whispered to himself as he continued on. He was about to walk in the small clearing when he heard the two arguing. He refrained from stepping in and instead listened.

        “Come on Ciecro it has to go on this, how do you expect to get this rock on it?”

        “Can’ you just tie it up or somethin?”

        “It’d take too much of the string dolt. We have to finish this before he gets here. Now go get a better object.”

        “Hey you said fo me to get something I liked and I reckon I did. Deal with it shrimp.”

        “Did you forget moron that this is to patch things up with him.”

        Seliph chuckled to himself at their usual, but somewhat amusing arguing. They were trying to do something nice for him and even then they couldn’t agree on how to do it. But there was something about those two he couldn’t get over. He walked into the clearing and said, “Hey bros what are you doing?”

        The two froze in their spots. Seliph kept just kept smiling as the two let go of each other. Jaron then said with a disappointed tone, “Um we were doing uh….We were making something for you, but I guess we were to slow.”

        “You mean you were,” Ciecro objected.

        “I mean we were,” Jaron countered, “And by ‘we’ I mean you more than me.”

        Seliph gave a little laugh as he rubbed his brothers’ heads. He assured them that he appreciated the thought. He offered to help them finish. Jaron showed him a piece of string and some colorful stones. Seliph grabbed some of his frubbles and stuck the stones to the string. Jaron then tied the knot as the finishing touch.

        “Here you go Seliph,” Jaron said with a smile, “this was for yo-”

        Ciecro then interrupted, “Them three stones were my idea! You see, each one is a colur that’s supposed to be one of us. Red is me, White is you and Blue is-“

        “I wanted to say that!” Jaron shouted, but stopped as Seliph hugged the two. “This means a lot bros thank you so much.”

        The two hugged back, glad they were able to make him happy with their gift. Glad I have you two. You’re the best little brothers I could ask for.

        Obscured in the distance Freya watched her kids. She went along to make sure they were safe since there was still the danger, but she had to admit she wouldn’t want to miss this sight. All three of her sons happy together; if things did take a turn for the worse, then maybe they will have a chance.

        < O >

        Gathor and Freya were sitting at the table while their kids were at the window getting a good glimpse at the setting sun’s light over the trees. It was getting late and Uncle Tethe still had yet to show up.

        “How long is he going to keep us waiting?” Ciecro muttered with impatience.

        “He’ll get here soon I’m sure,” Seliph answered, “I mean he probably doesn’t remember the route well.”

        “Yeah,” Ciecro answered with a snort, “well he better or I’ll reckon he….hey is that him?”

        The kids huddled at the window as a figure came into view. It was a blaziken with a bag over his right shoulder, his Norfarion crested shoulder. The kids shouted their uncle’s name in unison and ran to the door. To their surprised the door was shut from the parents beating the kids outside. Seliph tried to open the door, but no doubt it was locked. They were supposed to stay inside. Since in person greetings would have to wait, the trio went back to their spot at the window to watch.

        “Freya big sister hey,” They heard the cheerful blaziken called with a big smile and a wave. But their mom just remained still with only a scowl to greet him. The kid’s grew a little uneasy as their mom’s expression didn’t change the closer their uncle got.

        “Seliph,” Jaron said, taking his view from the scene to Seliph, “Was mom like that last time?”

        “I don’t believe so,” Seliph replied to the best of his knowledge.

        “Yah think he’s in trouble with her?” Ciecro added. They looked back and saw Tethe was now almost within 3 feet of the charizard. The blaziken reached out his hand, but was instead socked in the face by a pissed off Freya.

        “Big sister, nice to see y-”

        He didn’t finish, for Freya socked him in his face. Tetheron fell on his back from the impact. The three kid’s eyes widened at this scene play.

        “Why in Arceus's name are you here!?" Freya demanded quickly grabbing him on the ground by his throat, picking him up, and holding him in the air by his neck.

        “Wow” Tetheron laughed getting his head back together, “You can still punch me off my feet.”

        “Answer the damn question!” Freya roared, tightening her grip on the neck of her smiling Brother.

        “Fine” Tetheron choked. She gave him some slack to talk. He sighed and confessed, “I came because I was worried about you.”

        “You pathetic, prideful, useless stain!! How could you come here!? You know that we space these visits out for a reason that you are well aware of, and still you came you stupid, shrimpy, poor excuse for a norfarion elite!”

        “What” The blaziken defended trying to get his neck out of her firm grip, “I didn’t want to just sit back and wait for news to happen or not. So I came to help. Despite your abilities sis, you aren’t exactly a survivor, like our old leader. Plus, you tend to be a little too reckless in your- ”

        Freya really tightened her grip again and was about to punch him again. Gathor intervened by grabbing her free arm and while laughing exclaimed, “Your nimrod of a brother is already here, Freya. You can’t send him back now. At least not while those mons are nearby.”

        Freya growled in great displeasure, but realized Gathor’s point. She let go her grip so Tetheron fell to ground on his knees. After coughing for a little bit, Tetheron got back to his feet.

        “So” Tetheron stated brushing the dirt off his person, “Where are the kids?” Both Gathor and Freya looked at him with fierce eyes. But then sighed as Freya pointed to the hut.

        “It’ll be nice to see them kiddos again.” Tetheron laughed.

        “He’s such a Damn child.” Freya muttered as her brother walked up to their hut.

        “But a Helpful Damn child.” Gathor snorted. Freya sighed as she and Gathor walked up to the house following their unexpected guest.

        As the door swung open the kids were ready to greet their visitor. The three jumped at him while shouting, “Uncle Tethe!”

        He managed to keep on his feet despite the three hugging. He laughed and put them down.

        “Well now,” He smiled rubbing each of their heads, “You three were almost big enough to topple me that time.”

        “Well reach that point someday.” Ciecro assured as if issuing a challenge.

        Tetheron laughed and knelt down to Ceicro. He exclaimed while patting the charmander’s round head, “You just worry about beating me in a fight someday.”

        Ciecro let out a big smile as he hugged his Uncles face. Jaron joined in too. Seliph just smiled looking on. Ciecro then unlocked his hug and innocently asked,

        “Hey Uncle Tethe. Why did Mom punch you then choke you for a while?”

        Both he and Freya blushed from the naïve inquiry. Tetheron rubbed the back of his head and weakly laughed.

        “She just sometimes has to show me who’s the alpha of us two.” Tetheron answered, subtly teasing his annoyed sister. Freya sighed while once again face palming. The six Norfarions then congregated around a bamboo table. They talked about this and that along with catching up with each other, as the Sun was continuing its setting phase.

        < O >

        “It’s, nearing dusk,” Tetheron apprised as the other two adults walked in after leaving the kids to indulge their dinner.

        “The mere fact we haven’t seen sight of them, is relieving. I hope that they don’t show up.” Freya uttered.

        “Say,” Tetheron stated after having a thought, “Wasn’t it their turn to visit.” Gathor and Freya’s eyes widened and tensed up at this statement. Freya put her hand on her head in dismay.

        “How could we forget about their visit?” She stated in guilt, “We’ve known about it and their coming at the worst time. Tetheron did you see them in town at all?”

        “No, but knowing them it shouldn’t take long till they show up.” Tetheron answered, his face joining Freya’s distress.

        “Well those two could be a huge help should things go sour.” Gathor pointed out. Gathor

        “I wonder how those kids are doing. Heh course I can’t call them kids anymore. It’ll be nice to see them here.”

        Tetheron then leaned towards the spaced out feraligatr and whispered, “Yeah, considering how Garon is a match for you now.”

        This earned a snarl from Tetheron’s brother in law, “Garon’s too soft to beat me. Too busy being a worry hart to keep a steady face.”

        Tetheron, “Well perhaps, but I bet Swift coul-“

        “You’re primed,” Gathor muttered. And so the exchange of Tetheron’s teases and Gathor’s threats began. Freya sighed at the sight of the two immature boys in her life, but they were worth it. Besides, there were others that deserved being charred more than those two. Freya looked back at her study, her face scowling as she thought.

        “It’s abominable that they would wish so much to prevent a cure for their deeds. But if the ‘Red Eyes’ are their slaves then I guess it makes sense they would care to keep their pawns enslaved.”

        The noise of the two behind her slowly began to fade as her focus went back in her memories. Back when she and Gathor’s lives here were about to begin.

        ( O )

        “You called us Leader Nasch.” Freya saluted along with Gathor.

        “Yes,” A big nidoking answered while staring out a window. He turned around; his multiple scar covered face, an eye patch over his right eye and a cheery smile gave signaled the two to “cut it with the formalities,” They dropped their formal stances and waited for him to continue.

        “I suppose I should go on then,” Nasch said in a quieter tone, “Very well then. As you both are aware, things on the continent Kalisié are taking a sour turn. With the Amestrian senate building its support and Yveshia still keeping the land after its borders closed off. I can no doubt assume that Amestria may act upon their reasoning.”

        “As in attack Yveshia?” Freya answered with a somewhat skeptical tone, “Not even the corrupt senate would be so bold or risk taking to do that.”

        “Indeed,” Nasch replied with a nod, “which makes it all the more suspicious that they are gaining a bunch of influence. But I’ve also been told that some of the Senate have engaged in diplomacy with,” Nasch paused as his eye showed his aversion. “With Sorphia.”The two listeners became tense at the mere mention of this country. Nasch continued,

        “The Przeciwdziałanie Collective has cut off diplomacy with Drikaim. Despite this, Drikaim has refused reinforcements from us or Prime Winter.”

        Gathor interjected with, “Why not get support? They’re literally on that continent. The one that wants all Original Clans wiped off the face of this world. Why would they deny help?”

        “They probably want to avoid giving Sorphia a reason to motivate an attack,” Freya answered, “They have a strong military Gathor. It wouldn’t be that easy to overrun them.”

        “Yes, however there is another matter to discuss. Its obvious Sorphia is in league with the ‘red eyes’ and no doubt support their endeavors.”

        Nasch gave them a focused gaze and said with a softer tone, “I’ve been offered to join the Higher Generals.”

        This news seemed to hit the two harder than the others. Gathor’s head sunk a little while Freya kept face. There was silence for a while till Freya broke it with a question.

        “I assume you will be accepting.” Nasch nodded and explained, “I’m leaving our Team to oversee the Special Forces so I’ll still be in business with Alpha.”

        “I’d hope so,” Freya declared with a smile this time, “You’ve been a good leader of Alpha. I’m sure your insight will be good for all the Teams.” Nasch thanked her for the compliment. Nasch walked up and put his hand on Freya’s shoulder. “I’ve decided to pass the position of Team Alpha leader to Katherine.”

        “Not her,” Gathor muttered with a face palm. Freya and Nasch let out a little laugh, but the Nidoking’s face once again went to serious.

        “Freya, Gathor” Nasch stated, snapping them into focus, “I need you two to do a special mission. It will require you both to leave Team Alpha as well.”

        “What!” they both shouted in unison.

        Nasch closed his one eye and answered, “Your resignation is only to cover what you will be doing.”

        The two stood there perplexed as Nasch walked over to his desk and opened a drawer. He pulled out a flask holding a strange red liquid. Freya recognized it upon sight, “Why do you have that?”

        “I’m to give this to you,” Nasch said, walking back to Freya, “I’ve talked with the high generals and they’ve agreed that you are to research it.”

        Freya tensed up at this honor. However, she inquired why it would require leaving Alpha. “Because this will be undercover. This is the only flask of the ‘red eyes’ liquid in our possession. You Freya are to research it fervently and figure out a cure. This may be abrupt, but we cannot keep it in Norfair. It’s already been attempted to be stolen thrice since we’ve acquired it. Freya you are a skilled Synergist and know your stuff in psychology. You know what this liquid can do to a mon. I’m asking you as your friend.”

        He opened her claw, placed the flask into her hand and closed the claw softly. Despite how abrupt this was, she understood how important this was and why she needed to accept.

        “I will do you proud sir,” Freya said with an understanding nod. Nasch nodded in response and grinned. “Don’t worry I have arranged that your teammate will be able to visit you and Gathor. It’s the least I could do considering this huge request I’m asking of you.”

        “All of them? Ciel, Garon, Swift, my broth-”

        “All of them,” Nasch answered.

        Gathor then added with a goofy grin, “Sides Freya, they would track you down visit us anyways regardless of permission.”

        The three shared a laugh at the truth of those words. Despite this news, it would be nice that the Team would stay in touch with her and Gathor.

        Nasch turned his head to Gathor and held out his hand. Gathor clasped it firmly and the two said a Norfarion parting in unison, “May your soul’s fire stay bright and blazing.”

        Gathor attempted to squeeze Nacsh’s hand really hard. But was reminded that their leader wouldn’t beg for mercy that easily. Freya sighed at her husband going to his knees bawling with a laughing Nasch refusing to let his grip go.

        < O >

        “What’cha thinking about sis?” Tetheron’s voiced, snapping Freya out of the memory.

        “Oh just memories,” She answered softly. Gathor walked up to her and nuzzled her cheek, “Good memories?” He inquired. She nuzzled him back as a subtle yes.

        “You know Freya, I’m glad you kicked my tail back then.”

        “Heh, I’m glad to,” She replied with a smile. Gathor gave a weak laugh, “Well,” he added, “you’re the one mon I don’t mind losing to. At least till our kids surpass me. If they do hah, I won’t get beat by them that easily.”

        “Perhaps, but then again we are training them and you did say I kicked your tail,” Freya whispered. Gathor chuckled and the two shared another snout nuzzle.

        “Ugh can you two just tone down it for the single in this room,” an uncomfortable Tetheron asked.

        “Jealous Torchy,” Gathor teased earning a dirty look from the blaziken. Tethron countered sneering, “No…I’m fine being a single. And besides, I’m independent right now. I got here on my own after all.”

        “Really?” Freya said with a sarcastic tone, “So I guess then you are capable of convincing Ciel not to kill you when you get back?”

        Tetheron gave a gulp and turned his back to them trying to drown out the sound of the two’s laughter. Freya then walked up and gave him a little kiss on the cheek. Her brother gave a little blush, followed by a nervous laugh.

        “You’re hopeless, but you have at least some charm to make up.”

        “Heh thanks sis.”

        “Now who needs to tone it down,” Gathor stated. Gathor started to laugh soon followed by the fire types.


        primed - A term meaning "Crazy" or "Mad". It's used in context of when one loses their mind to primal instincts.

        Kalisié - (Kal-ee-see-ay) A different continent to the North of Triacal. This continent is more European in sense, and has more population of Kalos and Sinnoh Dex.

        Yveshia - (E-vey-schia) One of the two major countries of Kalisié. A country looked on as a deathly land. A militaristic country ruled by an Yveltal line referred to as "The Fell".

        Amestria - (A-mes-tri-ah) The other of the two major countries of Kalisié. A country that is seen as the light of Kalisié. A republic that is split into 2 major sources of power. A senate and a monarch (the oldest of any Diancie offspring)

        - (Zor-fia) The largest country on the continent of Verdium. A country that hates the clans and is bent on opposing the clans should war come.

        Przeciwdziałanie Collective - A collection of nations and countries on Verdium that have formed an alliance. These are comprised of nations that despise the original clans.

        Drikaim - (Dree-kay-I'm) A small country on Verdium. The only country on the continent that is on good terms with the clans. Has managed to stay on good terms with most of Verdium save for Sorphia and a few other nations.

        Prime Winter - Kyurem, specifically the one that lives in Iccerion in Wintrobax as their leader.
        Old May 3rd, 2017 (7:42 PM).
        Bay's Avatar
        Bay Bay is offline
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        Location: Dani California
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        For grammar, I won't pinpoint too much this time because that would take a while. I will bring attention one part, though (under spoilers).

        “This is one of their items they use in the mind breaking actions. The ‘soul purifier’ as they would call it. This was supplied by one Icerrion general’s captains. A victim of these acts. Your task is to study it and find a cure. I have ordered you to be safely taken to Triacal in a remote area. I have been told, you will be allowed our fellow members of Alpha to visit once every other year, and only one or two members.” He gave the small bottle to the Charizard, looked sternly into both their eyes, and whispered,

        “I know this is much to ask, considering your recent status of mates, but Freya, if you can figure out the cure we may be able to save victims of their evil actions. I’m asking this not as your commander, but as a friend whose trust you both have earned. This is the only thing we have of this to follow. Should it be lost or recovered by them, I can’t guarantee any replacement. I hope understand what you hold in your hand.” Dextra nodded in understanding. Gathor then went on to ask,

        “What about the others?”

        This part kinda confuses me because of the way your formatted the dialogue there and I wasn't sure who was talking at first. I would rewrite this part sightly to make the dialogue read better.

        “This is one of their items they use in the mind breaking actions. The ‘soul purifier’ as they would call it. This was supplied by one Icerrion general’s captains. A victim of these acts. Your task is to study it and find a cure. I have ordered you to be safely taken to Triacal in a remote area. I have been told, you will be allowed our fellow members of Alpha to visit once every other year, and only one or two members.” He gave the small bottle to the Charizard, looked sternly into both their eyes, and whispered,“I know this is much to ask, considering your recent status of mates, but Freya, if you can figure out the cure we may be able to save victims of their evil actions. I’m asking this not as your commander, but as a friend whose trust you both have earned. This is the only thing we have of this to follow. Should it be lost or recovered by them, I can’t guarantee any replacement. I hope understand what you hold in your hand.”

        Dextra nodded in understanding.

        “What about the others?” Gathor asked.

        While the conversation between the adults are vague, sounds like a lot of political stuff is happening in the background with mentions of supposed assassinations of royalty and The Red Eyes. Wonder if the kids will be involved in all of this too. I thought Freya and Gathor being lovebirds in front of Tetheron was cute, haha.

        "Meowth are all right. They don't care who you are or anything."
        Foul Play [Chapter Four up!]
        Old May 8th, 2017 (8:34 PM). Edited October 31st, 2017 by Vragon.
          Posts: n/a
          Language, Dark Themes, and Violence

          Chapter 4
          Attack on the Mind

          It was 9:00PM. Seliph and Jaron were playing wooden checkers, while Ciecro was watching bored out of his mind.

          “Come one, one of you win already.” He yawned.

          “Quiet bro.” Jaron shushed Ciecro, “I’m trying to beat him this time. Now let’s see.”

          Jaron looked over the board. Contemplating the moves he could make and what his brother would do in response. As he analyzed the board Seliph began yawning from Ciecro’s consistent yawns.

          “Ugh fine.” Jaron growled in anger moving one of his pieces, “There, your move Seliph.” Seliph looked at the board for a few seconds. He picked up a piece and jumped three or Jaron’s pieces.

          “Dammit Ciecro, this is your fault!” Jaron shouted at the half asleep charmander.

          “Now now Jaron.” Seliph laughed, rubbing the mad tododile on his head. “It is late. Come one, let’s see what Mom, Dad, and Tethe are doing. Jaron went to the living room, while Seliph led the drowsy Ciecro behind the Water Type. When they got in, they spied their Dad looking out the window, arms crossed and making quiet growling noises. He looked at the kids. They shuddered a little, from his serious gaze, meaning something was wrong. Jaron walked up and asked what was wrong.

          “Don’t concern yourself, Jaron.” He dismissed the question turning back to the window, “Keep doing what you all were doing in the kitchen.”

          They were going back, till Gathor called Seliph to stay. A chill went up his spine as his brothers closed the door behind him. He turned to face his dad, though not making eye contact. Gathor called him to come closer. Seliph slowly made his way to his father.

          “Your Mother is outside with Tetheron. She told me she gave you the key to her desk box. Where is it?”

          “Uh-uh I have it in my leaves bed.”

          “Get it and keep it on your person.” He leaned down till their faces were only a few inches away, “Get it and come outside. Make sure your brothers don’t come out.”

          Seliph nodded and went out to do what his father asked. He was really scared. He looked in his bed and pulled the key out. He looked at it for a few seconds before getting up and going to the front door.

          “Seliph? Where are you going?” He heard the voice of a tired Ciecro from the Kitchen.

          “Um mom and dad want me outside. They told me to tell you to stay in the Kitchen with Jaron.”

          “Ugh fine, but hurry. Jaron is still sore.”

          Seliph went outside to see his Mom, Dad, and Tethe gathered around something. Freya looked to see him and nodded to her brother. Tether walked over to Seliph and patted him on the head.

          “What’s going on?” Seliph asked his Uncle.

          Tethe sighed and informed Seliph.

          “The chesnaught is back. Listen to me Seliph.”

          As Tetheron disclosed the news, Freya and Gathor were busy with the chesnaught.

          “Where did you find him?” Freya asked the mon as she checked the drapion laying before them.

          “Near the side road out of town. Freya opened one of his eyes and looked deeply at it. The eyes were lifeless. Freya got up and glanced at his Norfarion Crest.

          “From what I can tell, his mind was crushed by a strong psychic force. I’ve never seen a mon rip out the soul in a mon eyes, let alone a Dark Type. Whoever did this had very strong telekinetic abilities and mental pressure. Was there anything else you found there?”

          The mon shook his head “No”.

          “If this was a mental attack, I doubt they broke his mind that quickly.” Gathro added, “That might be why they haven’t attacked this afternoon.”

          “If the mon that did this acquired info before killing him, then why not attack us now?” Freya though.

          “The private wasn’t aware of the contents, remember Freya.” Gathor mentioned.

          “But by mentally extracting his memories could lead the culprit to anyone he talked to regarding the data. That was me, you, Gathor, and…….”

          “I think it was just us. Tetheron didn’t arrive till later.” Gathor stated. Ferya thought for a second before looking back at Tetheron with Seliph.

          “I’m worried Gathor. Something is obviously not right, yet no one has made a move against us. They can’t have lost their nerve, or not have found some lead.”

          “I’m sorry, but we are still talking about the same mons right?” The chesnaught inquired.

          “Yes, unless they received aid. Does anyone else no about this mon?”

          “I took him to town first. I was informed by heliolisk about what this was. He had a Norfarion crest on his arm.”

          “That sounds like Swift.” Gathor mumbled.

          “Did they get here that fast?” Freya said out loud, “Even so, what did he tell you?”

          “He told me of the condition and that he would get here when he gets his friends.” The mon replied.

          Ferya growled deeply saying, “That isn’t Swift. He was only with Garon and didn’t meet Tetheron.”

          “If this mon told you this and asked you to come back, yet didn’t insist to go with you, then could he have been trying to track us? If that is true then it’s safe to assume they know where we are," Gathor added.

          “So then why aren’t they-” They suddenly heard Seliph scream. The all ran over to find Seliph crying while clasping his head, as if he was having a severe headache. Freya grabbed his shoulders and frantically tried to talk to him. Gathor grabbed Tetheron and demanded to know what happened.

          “He was suddenly like this.” Tetheron answered. Freya though for a second, then calmly looked at Seliph’s tearful and pained eyes, and gently told him,

          “Calm down Seliph. Someone is invading your mind. What is the voice saying?”

          Seliph managed to say as he squirmed, “S-She wan-n-nts what y-y-you g-gave-”

          “Seliph try to listen only to me. Calm your mind and think of nothing. Your mental defense is strongest when you can remain calm and blank your mind of any thoughts.” She motioned to Gathor to grab something in the house.

          Seliph tried his best to clear his mind but he was losing to the stranger. He was slowly losing his consciousness, till Gathor gave Freya what she asked for. She activated a black orb that sent a strange sound wave through the area. Seliph fell over, but Freya caught him and held him in front of her.

          She begged him to open his eyes, till he slowly woke up finally relieved from the pain. She hugged him relieved that he was alive.

          "What was that?" The chesnaught asked Gathor.

          "A mental static orb. It's a Black orb used to cause mental static that hurts mons using mental attacks or psychic abilities." He explained.

          Tetheron then asked Seliph what the voice tried to get from him. He hugged his mon while crying out in tears,

          “I’m sorry mom. I tried not to, but she-she made me. She made me tell her about the key you gave me an-”

          “It’s fine Seliph” Freya assured him, “Go into the house now and find your brothers. Bring them ou-”

          She stopped as Gathor used Ice Punch on an incoming Focus Blast. The impact of the moves caused an explosion creating smoke all around them.

          “Get Seliph back inside and kill anything that enters!” Gathor shouted to the chesnaught. The mon nodded and grabbed Seliph. As they went into the house Gathor, Tetheron, and Freya came out of the smoke cloud. Standing twenty yards in front of them, were seven mons. Five of them had eyes that were solid red with no Iris, while two of them had only red Iris eyes.

          One was a heliolisk, while the other was a gardevoir with red hair and a black dress instead of white.

          “Funny,” The heliolisk chuckled, “If the mon I'm acting as saw what my friend was doing to your kid, I’m sure he would be very agitated. Does this mean I'm out of character?”

          “Drop his look and show us your real self. Swift isn't to kind to mons that coy his act.” Tetheron shouted.

          “Why should the creep?” The gardevoir answered, “After all, he wouldn't do it even if I tortured him. He apparently values his version of fun over anything sensible.”

          “Besides,” the heliolisk laughed, “wouldn’t it be devastating and tragic if he hears that it was a mon impersonating him that found and killed you all. Hey, Rosa, you think it’d be to much for the runt, heck maybe enough for both. Wouldn't that be just horrible?"

          “Drop the act and tell me what you did to Swift and Garon you Bastard.” Freya roared.

          “Don’t worry girl.” Rosa sighed, “They were never here. Meaning they won’t be dead.”

          “Are you going to keep talking, or are you actually going to fight us?” Gathor sneered.

          “Fine then attack.” Rosa sighed as the five mons charged at the three. The fight began, but the mons failed to match the team of three. It wasn’t long till the five attackers were struck down.

          “That it? Or do you have more mons you want to have killed?” Gathor sneered.

          “Why did you hold them back and let those only grunts with us attack? Are you that insane or do you just want to draw this out?” Rosa asked the heliolisk.

          “What?” The heliolisk laughed, shrugging with a dark smile, “We get to see them fight more. Plus a show that's too quick leaves a bad impact on it's audience.”

          “Idiot, You’re wasting our time and giving them opportunity to-” Rosa began.

          “Fine Rosa, since you're so hell bent on doing our job.” The mon grumbled in annoyance. He snapped his fingers signaling thirty mons to jump out of hiding and attack the three. The trio fought back and vicious melee ensued. Despite their number disadvantage the three displayed great teamwork and continued to fight off or kill the attackers. The two leaders watched from their perch as their enemies were slowly growing exhausted two more grunts replacing every one killed by their targets.

          “Since they are Norfarion’s and are advanced fighters in there field, how many of our pawns do you think will die till they collapse from exhaustion?”

          “You can find out you sicko, I’m going to get that chesnaught and the kid.” Rosa spoke with an angry gaze. She turned around to walk past the fighting.

          “No you don’t!” A voice shouted as the chesnaught threw an orb at the two. The heliolisk leaped away, as The gardevior used psychic to fling the orb away, but not before it sent a wave in the area. The gardevior clasped her head in agony, from the Mental static orb causing her massive pain in her head.

          “Oh sorry my dear looks like you’ll have to sit this one out. Get her out of here so she can rest her head.” He signaled two grunts that carried the fainted gardevoir away.

          “I don’t know who or what you are.” The chesnaught growled readying to engage, “But I won’t let you harm children you monster.”

          “Oh what caring heart.” The heliolisk teased as it walked forwards in small steps. He suddenly began to morph and grow taller. As this transformation was going on, the mon said, “Tell me mon. What happens when a heart stops?”

          The mon stopped walking revealing a white zoroark. His opponent braced himself as the Dark Type cackled, putting his claw on his face.

          “The blood ceases flow and the body dies slllowwly. So metaphorically speaking, if you have a heart to protect yet you die in the process, does that meant the thing you protect will be hunted down and slowly die in an agonizing way?”

          The Grass/Fighting type remained silent and remained in his stance.

          “You should feel proud about your noble actions. You prevented associate from tracking the mon inside or on the run. Guess then We’ll just have to find any witnesses ourselves. After all, if you don’t find the area of infection, the infection spreads till such a place is no longer able to stay on the body without killing it."

          "Want to know what's is even more hilarious?” The mon stared at him and raised his claws to attack, “It’s how painful it is when it does gets to that stage of corruption. In my head, you are the protecting heart of this story, those mons your fighting with are the other organs, the body is the prize 'her research', the mind is whoever is in that house, and the infection spreading is these pawns. I’m what you call the infector or in another wording, I’m the Plague. Funny how that's so close to my name, Plageues."

          The mon gave another malevolent laugh as his tongue licked his chops. He then made a gesture of a claw slice on his head. As his hand slowly dragged on his face, he whispered loud enough for the mon to hear, "Tell me heart, how does it feel to stop moving yet still alive. How you’ll slowly die knowing that the rest of the body will soon follow even more tortured than you will endure? That your failure to purge the virus will cause the rest of the body to follow you to death going through more hell than you will?”
          Old May 9th, 2017 (5:43 PM). Edited May 15th, 2017 by Bay.
          Bay's Avatar
          Bay Bay is offline
          Darkinium Z
          Join Date: May 2006
          Location: Dani California
          Gender: Female
          Nature: Sassy
          Posts: 5,383
          The mon gave another malevolent laugh as his tongue licked his chops. He then made a gesture of a claw slice on his head. As his hand slowly dragged on his face, he whispered loud enough for the mon to hear,

          "Tell me heart, how does it feel to stop moving yet still alive. How you’ll slowly die knowing that the rest of the body will soon follow even more tortured than you will endure? That your failure to purge the virus will cause the rest of the body to follow you to death going through more hell than you will?”
          I feel this part would flow better if

          -Either you put the action and dialogue there together in one paragraph

          -If you want the dialogue as a separate paragraph, then rewrite the first paragraph a bit, something like- "He then made a gesture of a claw slice on his head, and his hand slowed dragged on his face."

          The most confusing part of that paragraph is the "mon" as I'm unsure who you're referring to.

          The end there while the imagery of is pretty disturbing with the Zoroark's words and him dragging his claw on his own face (at least that's what I'm assuming), it's not the most gruesome I've read so you're fine haha. The mind powers stuff from earlier sounds pretty bad too, wonder if that relates to some of the political background stuff mentioned in the earlier chapters.

          "Meowth are all right. They don't care who you are or anything."
          Foul Play [Chapter Four up!]
          Old May 15th, 2017 (1:22 PM). Edited October 31st, 2017 by Vragon.
            Posts: n/a
            Language, Blood, Dark Themes

            Chapter 5
            Smoke in the Trees

            Seliph was watching outside the window at the fight. He trembled at the sight more of the mons attacking his parents and uncle. He was frozen in place. He heard that horrible voice in his head over and over from that female in his head.

            “Tell me anything about your Mother’s research or I’ll break you over and over!”

            He closed his eyes and clasped his head from the trauma of it all. What was happening? Why was this going on? So many questions permeated his head. He was suddenly shook out of it by Jaron.
            “Seliph stop it! Get it together, mom and dad need our help.”

            Seliph opened his eyes to see his youngest brother Jaron, trying to keep a brave face. He looked at the door seeing Ciecro trying to break down the locked door.

            “Damn this door!” He shouted in frustration, “Why did that chesnaught lock it!”

            “Come on Seliph, help us break it!” Jaron urged the Frogadier, running over to help Ciecro.

            Seliph looked out the window at the brawl. He saw Gathor slicing through his opponents, Freya burning any enemies near her, Tetheron thrusting blow after blow on multiple mons, and the chesnaught squaring off against the zoroark. He remembered what his Mom had asked him. He knew what he’d have to do.

            He ran into his room, and pulled the key out of its hiding spot. He then hurried to Freya’s study. He pulled the box out and used the key. He gazed on the contents within. A parcel full of notes, and a bottle containing some strange red liquid. He didn’t stop to marvel at the items. Putting the items and bottle in a nearby shoulder bag, he headed back to the front door.

            Jaron and Ciecro were still trying to break the door down, but failing miserably.

            “Jaron Ciecro, come were getting out of here!” He yelled, waving for them to follow.

            “What? Why?” Jaron asked.

            “I’m not running, they need our help.” Ciecro protested. Seliph sighed as he told them what mom had informed him. He also, said that they wouldn’t last long against the mons outside. The two backed away, reluctant to leave. It wasn’t till a loud explosion happened outside that Seliph finally succeeded in convincing them. The three headed to the back door.

            < O >

            “Gathor!” Freya shouted above the brawl, “We need to buy them more time.”
            He husband nodded and raised his defense. He charged Rage as his assaulters sliced at his body repeatedly.

            “What is wrong with you!” Tetheron exclaimed to his sister, “He’s bad enough with his gift active, without an enormous attack boost. Are you trying to get us all killed?”

            “Just stay out of his sights and help the Ranger against their leader. I’ll deal with the back woods. We have to guarantee an escape route, if we can’t win this fight.”

            Tetheron concurred and began rushing to the zoroark’s location. Tetheron used his speed and evasion skills to evade the attacks and breeze his way to the dueling two.

            Plageues had driven the chesnaught to the clearings edge. He then fired a focus blast. The ranger was about to block with Spiky Shield. However, he was pounced upon by a sneasel from behind and the two were hit. The ranger hit the tree while his attacker fell nearby injured. Plageues smiled as he sauntered over.

            “How funny you are.” He faintly cackled raising his claw, “Thinking you could help, when you just a simple mon fighting with your superiors.”

            He began to slice, but stopped spying Tetheron’s incoming hook kick. He leaped back just in time to avoid the strike and a follow up Butterfly kick. After he was far enough away, the zoroark growled in annoyance,

            “Why bother? He’s just a mon and you’re a Norfarion.”

            Tetheron smirked in a defensive stance and replied with, “Funny talk coming from a leader of mindless minions. I’m sure you feel so brave having to resort to a minion’s death to even land a blow.”

            The villain was about to reply when a loud roar came resounded in the area. The two looked at the origin of the noise to see Gathor destroying the mons fighting him. He was rampaging his way through, destroying anything in his path.

            “What the fu-” Plageues began, till one of his minions landed on him from Gathor’s throw.

            “I hope you know what you’re doing Freya.” Tehteron muttered helping up the injured ranger.
            “What’s wrong with-” the injured mon asked.

            “His Original’s gift is Death Wrath. Let’s just let him kill till he calms down.” Tetheron answered. They were joined by Freya, who had finished burning the rear forest.

            “Where’s he hurt?” She asked the chesnaught, who looked at his cut side. She, however flew past them and Dragon Clawed an incoming Focus Blast.

            “Dang, and I thought I was observant.” Plageues chuckled, admiring her impressive reaction. The zoroark turned to look at the spectacle of Gathor taking on all of the mons and winning.

            “Wow,” He marveled, “Norfarions are powerful. Especially when they aren’t in control. If only we could get more of your kind.”

            “Can it you wretch. If you value your life, I suggest you leave with your tail between your legs.” Freya threatened.

            “Sorry not an option.” He smirked, looking to his right. The trio were met with a volley of Zap Cannons from a group of porygon 2s in hiding. The three were paralyzed and damaged from the amount of hits. Mindless minions surrounded them as Plageues smiled and ordered, “Fight them till they can’t resist. I want them alive, but feel free to spread the lovely red as far as you can.”

            < O >

            Meanwhile, Seliph and his brothers put good distance between them and the fight. They looked back to see fire light coming from the rear.

            “Good, mom gave us some cover.” Seliph expressed in relief.

            “She is tough after all.” Jaron agreed. They resumed but were suddenly greeted with a Thunderbolt. An electivire sprang in front of them. It fired another Thunderbolt, but the three evaded.

            “Guys,” Seliph uttered to his brothers, “we have to take him down.”

            “Right.” The two shouted in glee, ready to put their training to work.

            Jaron fired Scald at the mon while Ciecro unleased Flame Burst. The opposing mon blocked both with two Thunder punches. Seliph took between the attacks and threw a water pulse into the mons eyes. The mon couldn’t see and began firing random blasts of Thunderbolts in random directions.

            Seliph realized that if this mon kept attacking, it would draw too much attention. And he saw not just him, but his brothers too. His face grew serious as he drew out a Cut.

            “Bro, what are you doing?” Jaron asked from a rock serving as cover. Seliph leaped on the mons head, and thrust the move’s into the mons forehead. The mon’s red eyes blacked out and he fell backwards dead. Seliph sighed as he released the cut, causing the blood from it to fall on the ground. Jaron ran up to Seliph and shouted,

            “Why did you do that!?”

            “He was a threat and could have lead mons to our position.” Seliph answered.

            “He’s right Jaron.” Ciecro defended, “The mon wouldn’t stop. It was either him or us.”

            “But-” Jaron began, shivering a little. Seliph put his hand on his younger brother’s her and rubbed it. He softly answered,

            “I’m sorry Jaron, but we couldn’t risk it. I didn’t want this either, but they struck first. As Ciecro put it, ‘either him or us’.”

            Jaron reluctantly nodded and they hurried on. After a few more minutes of running, Seliph stopped. The two were about to ask “why” till Seliph gave them the bag he was carrying.

            “Take this and get to the mountain pass. Go to the safe location Mom and Dad showed us and stay there. If I don’t return in half an hour, go to Perion town and take this bag with you. I’m going to check on how the fight is going.”

            They were about to protest till Seliph replied sternly, “You two are the only ones they don’t know about. Those items in that bag are the whole reason for this attack. If they acquire those things, any of our loved ones that died in that fight will have died for no reason.” Jaron’s head looked down, while Ciecro nodded in understanding. The three split up.

            < O >

            After ten minutes of traveling, Seliph arrived at the side of their home’s clearing. The fire was still raging, but not near where Seliph was. He was filled with dismay at the site of his mom, uncle, and the ranger restrained and exhausted. Gathor was also greatly spent, but still was difficult to control.

            “Well, you’ve certainly had a nice head count. Well, from my team that is.” Plageues praised the three mons before him. Freya growled, Tetheron scowled, and the Ranger was nearing unconsciousness.
            “Now, I might as well ask. Where is the item and we’ll leave.” The Villain asked.

            “Go screw yourself.” Tetheron sneered. Plageues sighed and complained, “Look I don’t want to kill you while you have info I require. So how about you tell me and we leave. Besides, it’s not like that info will mean anything anyway.”

            “It means freeing mons from your groups influence. If we all die for such a reality to happen, I would more than accept death.” Freya snarled.

            “Well we’ll get it out of you one way or another. Take her and the Cocky blaziken. But before you do.” He muttered walking over to the barely awaked ranger. He looked at the Grass mon’s right shoulder and sighed.

            “Oh well, I guess you’ll do.” He spoke in disappointment as he sliced the victims throat with one stroke. The other two were left in horror till they were hit on the heads and became unconscious.

            Meanwhile, Gathor was still trying to resist despite his gift’s effects from wearing off. He glanced just in time to see the grunts begin carrying the two away. He roared as his Death Wrath surfaced again. He broke free and shredded all the mons around him. He rushed towards Plageues roaring.

            Gathor sliced at him, but Plageues leaped over him. Gathor did a turn slice, but stopped in his tracks. In front of him was Freya, with a scared look. His arm shook as he angrily said, “Damn you.”

            Freya then gave a malevolent smile as she pierced Gathor’s chest with her Night Slash shrouded claws. Plageues then dropped his illusion and put his head next to the frozen Gathor.

            “Looks like you couldn't even hurt her image. Shame that she made a mon like you soft. But don’t worry, we’ll take good care of her. I’m sure she won’t have any trouble learning our ways.” The zoroark chuckled in a low tone as Gathor’s growl became weaker, “Don’t worry about her being alone. We’ll make sure she visits her kid in person. Imagine the look on his face when he sees his mum again. Well, the last face he’ll see.”

            This was it. Gathor mustered all he could out of his left arm and sliced Plageues over his right eye. The mon caught his balance grabbing his face, as Gathor hit the ground, slowly losing consciousness. Instead of crying out from the pain, Plageues merely laughed.

            “Your claws are sharp aren’t they?” The Villain complimented as his right eye bled, “Thanks for the send off. I’ll make sure to pass on your message to your kid. But which one should I do, or both.”

            Plageues then walked away, leaving Gathor reaching out his arm to his now gone Freya. Gathor rarely cried, but he couldn’t stop the tears from forming now. He clenched his outstretched hand and in his head he pleaded, “Seliph, please keep your brothers safe. Please, keep them sa……….” His head hit the ground.

            D-d-d-dad!? Seliph screamed in his head. His mind shot back to the day before; He thought about his talk with his dad. Seliph fought back the tears and nodded to his father. Dad....I'll keep them safe. At all costs. It won't be easy, but I won't let you down. I-I'll ... I'll do you proud ... Dad. Seliph then ran into the woods leaving the battle scarred clearing.

            The last of the grunts had left now, some in search for the kids others to help with the escort. All that was left were the fallen and Gathor. A rustling sound came from nearby as a silhouetted figure came out some bushes. It moved cautiously, making sure that no one was watching. Upon arriving at the corpse of Gathor, it knelt down and examined him.

            "...Tell me..." Was all it said as it placed one of it's arms on the feraligetr's head. It was then lights of green shown on the strangers eyes, "...Tell me everything...".

            Death Wrath-A norfarion gift. Causes a the mon to become very aggressive and tolerant of pain, however the mon becomes wild and instinctive normally attacking anything that moves if at most intensity.
            Old May 19th, 2017 (9:54 PM). Edited October 31st, 2017 by Vragon.
              Posts: n/a
              This Chapter contains
              Language (but not very much)

              Chapter 6
              The Mind of Prey

              Seliph rushed on his way towards the mountain pass. While the scene of his father’s death still was in his mind, he remained focused on finding his siblings. He knew that it hadn’t been half an hour, meaning he could still rendezvous with them. As he left the forest and now tread on the mountain’s stony road, Seliph occasionally would look back at the forest. It was that he feared being followed, but that he still couldn’t believe this all was real and had to grasp again at this reality. A reality with his dad gone, mom and uncle taken, home destroyed, and brothers alone.

              He finally arrived at the spot, a crevice that lead into a series of small tunnels. These tunnels were dug through the mountain by Durant workers on request of Freya. In case there was such an instance of attack, they would go into the crevice, get one of the maps in their location, and head to a town via the tunnels.

              Seliph looked in the crevice. There was no light from Ciecro’s tail, nor any traces of movement or tracks. Seliph remained calm and spoke his brother’s names. He did this three times, each met with silence. He leapt through the crevice and landed in the tunnel. He called again for his brothers, met with still no reply.

              His face showed dread from the fear he felt. He walked a few feet still trying to see something. His foot then struck against something. Something soft. He froze and reluctantly began looking down slowly, until his eyes saw the bag he had given the two. He fell on his knees and grabbed it. He was about to open it when suddenly his face was struck with a torrent of boiling hot water. He fell on his back and was pounced upon by some mon. A red light illuminated the area faintly. He looked up to see a Dragon Claw at his throat, the red light on flickering on an orange tail, and a growling face of a Charmander above him.

              “C-ciecro!?” Seliph stuttered.

              “Seliph!?” The mon spoke trembling. Ciecro released his dragon move and hugged his brother’s neck.

              “You’re okay brother, you’re okay! Jaron, it’s okay it’s our brother.”

              A totodile ran out from the darkness and joined Ciecro hugging Seliph. The three shared a silent moment of tearful embrace. Till Seliph complimented with a chuckle, “Your Scald is really hot Jaron.”

              Jaron backed a little ways and rubbed his left mid arm with his right. He blushed and awkwardly said, “T-thanks, I’m sorry I didn’t know it was you. Ciecro made a plan in case a mon that wasn’t you found is before we left.”

              Seliph laughed and rubbed Jaron’s head. Ciecro smirked like the punk he was and Jaron tried to suppress his laughter but it was in vain. Seliph got up and opened the bag to make sure everything was there.

              “What happened back there?” Jaron asked, causing a sad frown to cross Seliph’s face. He fearfully turned and opened his mouth to talk. He paused for a second, sighed and told them the truth. What hurt more to Seliph wasn’t just their faces after hearing it, but that they didn’t even understand why. Why their family was targeted.

              Seliph looked at the two and their tearful eyes and with a rueful smile said, “Let’s go. We have to hurry to the town. Ciecro did you get the map.”

              The Charmander wiped his face with his arm and nodded. Seliph grabbed Jaron’s hand gently lit a stick with Ciecro’s tail, and asked Ciecro, “You wanna take the lead?”

              Though Ciecro was still crushed, he gave an encouraging “Hell Yeah” smile. He took the lead as Seliph and Jaron followed.

              < O >

              They arrived in view of the town after removing the stone covering the tunnel. There was still light in its presence, indicating awake mons. Seliph nodded to the two and they began to move cautiously. Taking the lower routes around the little hills, instead of a quick run over. They were almost a hundred yards away, when Seliph pulled the two and ducked beneath a rock.

              “What is it?” Jaron whispered. Seliph didn’t answer, but continued to stare at something. He gazed upon a mon silhouetted by the towns light. However, he could identify the species as a Rhydon. But more importantly, he saw the solid red eyes it had.

              “So they were prepared incase mons escaped.” Seliph thought. He turned to the two and relayed the news.

              “What now?” Jaron asked in fear.

              “We can’t stay out here in the open.” Seliph admitted, “We’ll have to go around that guy.”

              “Wait look over there.” Ciecro quietly announced, pointing to a secluded house on a dock residing on a rivers bank. Seliph agreed, making the Charmander smirk with pride. They stealthily made their way to the house. On the door was a name. Miss Dresha.

              “You think that we can stay here for the night.” Jaron asked, a bit skeptical due to how scared he was.

              “We’ve got no choice Jaron.” Ciecro bluntly stated, “It’s either here or the town that could have more than that one enemy in there.”

              Jaron gulped and clenched on Seliph’s arm with both hands. Ciecro tensed his body, in case they needed to fight whatever met them. Time stopped for the three as Seliph made three knock noises on the door. It was silent. Seliph raised his hand to do it again.

              “I heard you.” An old voice came from their right. Seliph gasped, Jaron shrieked and hid behind Seliph, and Ciecro shouted, “s***!”.

              “Jumpy little strangers are you.” A middle aged female Lumineon laughed, “What can I do for you three?”

              After regaining his poise, Seliph asked the lady, “Miss, I hope you don’t mind but me and my brothers need a place to stay. We can’t stay in town, and we saw your house. I don’t have money on me, but if you do let us stay we’ll work for whatever you deem a fai-”

              “Nonsense,” The Fish interrupted, “To turn children out in the night with no place to stay is a chilling thought to any civil citizen. You can stay here boys free of charge. Though I would like to learn about your story, my guests.”

              Seliph nodded, “Thank you miss that's very kind of you.”

              “It's not much, my house, but it's been good to me. Then again you lot are half the space my dear wailord of husband was so it should be fine. Wait right here as I go let you in,” She stated and dove under in the round pool of water.

              "Hey so um bro," Ciecro mumbled while they waited, "ain't wailords...big."

              "Yes," Seliph answered, a bit confused about the question.

              "So then how is her-"

              "Oh no, she doesn't mean her husband was a wailord, Ciecro," Seliph interrupted, a little amused by Ciecro's assumption. "She just meant that he was...kinda-"

              As Seliph grasped for a proper way to say this, Jaron though about it on his own. He came to the conclusion and said, "So she was saying he's fat."

              That statement hit Seliph out of nowhere, "Jaron! not fat. That's not a nice thing to say about somebody. Besides, she probably meant he was big all around as in a fish."

              "But isn't a fatter fish a larger fi-" Jaron defended. But stopped as he saw an icy stare come from Seliph. A stare that speaks, "Doesn't matter, don't say it"

              The tension was broken as a sudden click came from the door, resulting in it opening. "Careful when coming in," They heard a voice call out, "the steps for leg walkers can get a bit slick," Seliph then led Jaron in, as Ciecro followed after giving the hilly plains one last browse.

              Jaron and Ciecro, snoozed on a nice little rock, while Seliph shared some Oran tea with the lady of the house.

              “Thank you again Miss Dresha for letting us stay.” He spoke with a long face.

              “Please call me Dresha and don’t give it a second thought. You boys seem like good children and I’m more than happy that you decided to come here instead of the town.”

              She took another sip of tea and asked about him and his brothers. He told her the events, though kept the details to a minimum.

              “How horrid those mons.” Dresha shook her large fins, “I’m sorry about your loss. Tell you what young man, you three can stay here as long as you’d like.”

              “W-why? You don’t even know us?”

              “I believe in my abilities to judge character, and while you three did show up randomly your exhausted faces were enough to convince me. And hearing your story sealed the deal. Plus, I would love to have children in this home, since my dear husband died before we could have any.”

              “Thank you mam.” Seliph nodded. But his face remained tense. Miss Dresha dove to retire, while Seliph went over the items in the bag. He looked over the notes, looked at the bottle, and thought about all that had happened. Voices from the memory played in his head.

              ““Tell me anything about your Mother’s research or I’ll break you over and over!”

              “Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of her. I’m sure she won’t have any trouble learning our ways.”

              “It means freeing mons from your groups influence. If we all die for such a reality to happen, I would more than accept death.”

              “Go into the house now and find your brothers.”

              He began pondering what to do next. He thought for about an hour before making a decision. He tore an empty section of a note sheet, took wrote a notes and put it on the desk for Dresha. He looked at his kin and closed his eyes.

              The next morning, Jaron woke up. He was still tired, and tried to keep on sleeping. He soon gave up and yawned. He looked around the room and spied the snoring Ciecro next to him. He sighed with a smile and went to find Seliph and Miss Dresha. He walked into the entry room to see Miss Dresha at her pool desk, wearing her glasses, and slightly down in mood.

              “Miss are you okay? Also, do you know where my older brother is?”

              “Oh um he’s not here.” She replied with pauses in between the words.

              “What do you mean?” Jaron inquired confused.

              “Don’t worry Jaron.” Ciecro yawned, scratching his back walking in, “He probably is making sure that everything outside is okay.”

              “He’s not rel…….he left this note for you.” The lumineon informed them with a low lady tone voice.

              Jaron lifted the note off the desk and began reading it. His eyes widened in disbelief as he continued to read the torn paper.

              “You okay Jaron?” Ciecro asked the tearing up Totodile. Jaron didn’t reply, but said the word, “Why?” over and over.

              Ciecro snatched the note away and read it.

              To my siblings

              I’ve asked Miss Dresha to take care of you. I’m going to continue what mom started and I don’t want you two to set me back. Stay there and don’t follow me. I don’t need you two in making it harder for me in making them pay for what they did. Don’t expect my return and don’t try to find me. You both can survive with what they taught you and Miss Dresha has agreed to take care of you. I don’t want any of your help and if you’re confuse about why I’m doing this, then figure it out and prove you both aren’t clueless kids. You both are still my brothers, but it’s in all out best interest that you runts stay here where you both won’t be a burden to my objective and won’t get yourselves killed. And don't do anything reckless. Just stay there where it's safe; you both stay where you belong.


              Ceicro dropped the note. He scowled and rushed to the door. He broke it open and ran out shouting, “Seliph come back!” Jaron rushed to the entrance and watched Ciecro going in wide circles trying to locate Seliph. Jaron looked back at the Lumineon with shocked eyes.

              “I’m sorry, he left this note when I awoke.”

              “It can’t be. He needs us. He-He wouldn’t abandon us here to do our fight by himself.” Jaron mumbled to himself, “Were in this together.”

              Thirty minutes passed. Ciecro had tired himself out and walked back to the house. Jaron looked at the scowling Ciecro. He walked past Jaron grumbling, “Fine Seliph. If we’re just a burden to your cause then you should just stay away and never come back.”

              Ciecro sat on a seat rock in the house. Jaron joined him an Miss Dresha wrapped her fins on their shoulders.

              “Thank you for taking care of us, Miss Dresha.” Jaron stuttered.

              “Y-yeah Thank you.” Ciecro mumbled with forming tears in his angry eyes.

              They hugged her and cried. They felt alone and confused. Miss Dresha nuzzled their backs with her fins and said, “Please call me aunt Dresha. I’ll take care of you two.”

              < O >

              “Dammit he’s not here either.” Rosa shouted in anger at the town in front.

              “Shame you overslept my dear.” Plageues mocked, disguised as the Chesnaught he murdered.

              “Do you want to die?” The Gardeviore spoke, gritting her teeth.

              Plageues sighed, reverting back to his normal form. He walked and stood beside her, overlooking the town. The sun was starting to rise across the horizon from the two.

              “How could that runt have eluded us? He shouldn’t have made it far or at least near enough for me to recognize his mental energy. He even has the works that we tried to acquire.” She muttered in annoyance.

              Plageues added with, “Its intriguing how one child escaped us. The only witness too. Well unfortunately we’ve been ordered to return to Mextrien. It will be nice to be back in the Original Hating continent. I wonder if they caught any to execute or torture.”

              “Shut up you freak. You know he most likely knows you killed the father.” Rosa reminded him.

              “That’s perfect actually. I hope he tries to avenge his dad, only die failing.” Plageues snickered, “I still think we should just kill all these nearby towns in case he somehow could escape your reach.”

              “That’s ludicrous on two accounts.” Rosa rebuked turning to walk away.

              “Careful not to sass the superiors Rosa. If you want to get promoted in the group you’ll have to stop being so affected by teasing.” Plageues stated with an evil smile. Rosa turned her face from him coldly and went on her way. Plageues looked back at the town, gave a quick chuckle and went after his associate.

              < O >

              It’s felt so long ago since our world was destroyed. All I had was Ciecro and you. While I would say I didn’t wish for this, I’m glad what good has come from it. It’s almost the eight year since that happened since HE left. Thanks for taking my grumbles and giving us a home. You’ve been so kind to us and a second mother to me and I assure you to Ciecro too. I’m glad you’ve helped us grow in this town and for housing my friend for a while. For everything you’ve done for us Aunt Dresha, I and Ciecro would like to take you out for a fun time.

              Happy Birthday Aunt Dresha!

              Jaron and Ciecro.

              Mextrien—A continent West of Winthrobax. This continent is where the five originals were supposedly attacked and was the birthplace of the hatred for the clans. This continent holds the mainland for the big country Yūtopia Shiryoku and other original hating countries save for one non-legendary governed country called Rekshimire.
              So yes this is the last of the prologues. I've planned to work on the next entry of Zekeranes Journal, but first do the next chapter of this work. Since this one will first have to be update to link the two, I felt it fitting to so this special thing. (I'm letting you all know since I said I would and I try to not forget).
              Hope it's good.
              Old May 20th, 2017 (3:27 PM).
              Bay's Avatar
              Bay Bay is offline
              Darkinium Z
              Join Date: May 2006
              Location: Dani California
              Gender: Female
              Nature: Sassy
              Posts: 5,383
              I feel at the beginning Dresha saying "Call me Dresha" etc while shows she's caring it gets a bit repetitive. Still sweet of her supporting Jaron and Ciecro after Seliph left that goodbye note. Sounds like Jaron is holding a grudge against Seliph through from that letter in the end. Only thing is in Seliph's letter he mentions Dresha agreeing to take care of his siblings so perhaps a scene with Dresha and Seliph before he left would make this situation a bit more emotional.

              "Meowth are all right. They don't care who you are or anything."
              Foul Play [Chapter Four up!]
              Old May 20th, 2017 (6:21 PM).
                Posts: n/a
                mild language

                Chapter 7
                Unwanted Changes

                Jaron giggled as he read over the letter he and Ciecro had made for Miss Dresha’s birthday tomorrow. He slid the letter back in the neatly designed envelope and placed in into his desk’s drawer. Jaron then looked at the mirror on his desk and thought about the words he and Ciecro mulled over last night. He thought about the truth in the words. How he and Ciecro didn’t want to believe Seliph really did go or even would come back and be with them again. She helped them cope and not become bitter as they grew into the mons they are now.

                Jaron chuckled a little at how the little Totodile he once was, now a fifteen year old Croconaw working for the Perion Town Local Ranger with his Charmeleon brother. He looked at the papers on his desk and sighed. Miss Dresha got them into looking for something to do and despite this jobs cons it really wasn’t that bad. He was respected by his co-workers, despite being the youngest. Tomorrow, he would make that day very special for her.

                Jaron finally decided to get back to working on the papers. He hadn’t gone for five minutes till the two entry doors slammed open. In walked a Charmeleon dragging a fainted Bunnelbee.

                “Another one?” Jaron asked, not even glancing away from his focus on work.

                “Yep, this garbage is the one that broke into that orb shop nearby.” Ciecro grumbled, throwing the mon on a desk nearby, scaring the workers all around it. As the Bunnelbee was dealt with Ciecro leaned his back against the wall behind Jaron.

                “So, you got the stuff set?” He asked in a whisper.

                “Yes I did.” Jaron said out loud.

                “Dude,” Ciecro shushed him, “I told you this is between us. I don’t want any of these losers thinking me as soft.”

                “It’s not that big of a deal.” Jaron chuckled looking at his scowling older brother, “Besides Ciecro, you don’t always hide the nice-guy you are inside well.”

                “Can it shrimp!” Ciecro snapped.

                “Honestly Ciecro.” A voice came from an Absol to their left, “It’s not bad to actually not be intimidating all the time. Besides, I and Jaron obviously can see through your little …… maturing.”

                “Don’t flatter you head Jasmine.” Ciecro replied, turning his head to face the female Absol, “Your little psycho wording doesn’t mean s*** to me.”

                “By that he means he doesn’t understand.” Jaron interjected with a tease. Ciecro gave him a growl. Jasmine walked over to the two and with a smirk told Ciecro, “You know what you need Ciecro.”

                “A brain.” Jaron interrupted again also earning a louder growl from Ciecro followed by him saying, “Your a stupid runt Jaron.”

                “He’s not all wrong.” Jasmine teased. Ciecro walked off saying as he went, “I have better things to do than listen to yawls' teasing. Just make sure you’re ready for tonight Jaron.”

                After Ciecro had gone, Jaron let out a sigh. Jasmine inquired what was wrong to which Jaron replied,

                “Ciecro’s just well, feels distant. I know he cares about us, but he’s well not very open about it much anymore. It would be nice to get a smile from him just to see me once in a while.”

                “Well maybe he just needs someone to show him how lucky he is.” Jasmine mentioned.

                “Please, no one in their sanity would want to try and burn their hand in that fire. Besides, he doesn’t like being pestered anyway so-” Jaron dismissed till Jasmine interrupted.

                “Well, if there is such a person for him I hope that person finds him and isn’t appalled by the mere first impression.”

                The two looked at each other and giggled.

                “Honestly Jaron I still find it hard to believe the stuff you told me about when you and Ciecro were kids.”

                “Like when I said he used to roar like a frightened litleo girl.” Jaron chuckled softly.

                “Or like when you told me how you splashed water in his face, and he shrieked like he had been stabbed and ran into a clove of trees nearby.” She added, trying not to giggle.

                “He still does if you splash water on his tail.” Jaron added.

                They tried not to laugh and keep their composure. But the silly image of present Ciecro being freaked out by water on his tail was too much for the two. They almost fell over laughing at the thought.

                “Your brother tries to act so tough, but he sometimes is such a little kid.” Jasmine stuttered catching her breathe.

                “Sometimes!” Jaron smiled, “Just yesterday he was getting seeds for our aunt he was about to pick a seed up when the store owner yelled don’t touch that, it’s a blast seed! and do you know what he said?”

                “What?” Jasmine curiously asked.

                “He said, Buzz off, I was told to get seeds and this I reckon this is a seed He picked it up and it blew right in his face leaving a mix of shock and black powder on it. That sight along was priceless.”

                “You mean he seriously touched a blast seed thinking it was a just any other seed.” Jasmine laughed in disbelief.

                “You think he could tell, what with the sign in front that said DANGER BLAST SEEDS, ASK STORE MANAGER FOR INSTRUCTIONS FOR HANDLING BEFORE TOUCHING.” They both laughed hysterically.

                “I don’t think anyone could be as stupid as Ciecro.” Jaron laughed.

                “What about Vragon?” Jasmine giggled.

                “He isn’t stupid!” Jaron protested. Then giggled with, “He just is too complicated. Like when at the library this dedenne was wanting to check out a book. Well Vragon wouldn’t let him because the book was for adolescents, and he thought the kid was too young to read it without asking his parents first.”

                “Just to find out that kid was a thirty year old Dedenne.” Jasmine finished while laughed.

                “He said he was never so embarrassed in his life. In fact for a week he browsed through the town’s log, just to try memorize the townsmon’s ages.”

                It took them five minutes to stop laughing at this. Finally they regained their sanity. Suddenly Jasmine recalled something, snapping her out of her laughter.

                “Oh speaking of Vragon,” Jasmine said “He was here looking for you earlier.”

                “Why, does he want me to try explaining it to him again that the phrase, It’s as plain as a nose on your face is a metaphor for stating the obvious. Not a derogatory phrase for Mon’s without noses?” Jaron teased.

                “No, though I know right. Such an over thinker who doesn’t know the meaning of the word local color. He literally asked me if I had nose or sinus issues, by me merely saying, Smell you later.” Jasmine sighed trying not to laugh again, “But anyways he wanted you to meet him at his place after your shift. He thinks he might have found something else and wants to show you.”

                “I’ll head there soon.” Jaron said with a nod. Jasmine went back outside, as Jaron internally laughed at all the things they talked about.

                The town’s clock tower rang three as Jaron walked out of the building. He looked up at the clear sky with a smile.

                “I wonder what he’s found this time.” Jaron thought, beginning his way to Vragon’s residing, “I do hope this one does have a lead. I really hate it when he feels so close, only for some as he put it ‘new variable’ to come in and ruin it.”

                Jaron passed from the eastern side of town and looked at the tree that housed Vragon’s one roomed home. As he continued he thought about meeting Vragon five years ago. How he was the one that found Vragon as an Axew in the forest along with Ciecro. The reaction when Vragon finally awoke along with the truth of Vragon not knowing anything of his past. To think he would meet his best friend out of pure randomness.

                By the time he finished this internal dialogue, he was at the trees base. He shouted up to the wooden treehouse.

                “Hey Vragon, Jasmine said you wanted to see me about something.” He was met with only silence.

                “Ugh, not again.” Sighed Jaron, “I swear, not even ten Metal Sound moves, would reach his ears when he’s reading”. He grumbled as he headed to the rope ladder. As he was climbing up, he would occasionally try calling again, but each time still meeting silence.

                When Jaron reached the top he spied the black and white Fraxure, Vragon, sitting in his wooden chair completely with the book he was reading. The dragon types topaz eyes moving left to right over and over again.

                Jaron was about to get his attention, but stopped when an idea crossed his mind. He smiled darkly as he crept up behind the unsuspecting Fraxure. Once behind him, Jaron grabbed Vragon’s shoulders and in a loud low voice Growled. “Granbull!”

                Vragon’s book was sent to ceiling as the poor Mon screamed and jumped into a nearby pile of books and notes.

                “Sucka.” Jaron teased, snapping his fingers with a smirk of satisfaction. Vragon’s head popped out of his mountain of books to spy Jaron giggling at the reaction.

                “Arceus!” Vragon yelled getting to his feet. “Jaron I about threw my book out the window again, and besides I’m not scared of any silly looking Granbull.”

                “Sure you aren’t.” Jaron teased.

                “Well I am not Jaron!” Vragon snapped, “And why in the CREATION TRIO’S NAME! Did you do that?”

                “Yeah,” Jaron laughed, “I just wanted to get your attention.”

                “You liar!” Vragon slithered, “You could have easily just said hello or possibly beg your pardon instead of being goofy.”

                “Mine was more fun.” Jaron defended with a grin.

                “You Jerk.” said Vragon angrily, “Out of all the inconsiderate, rude, stupid nimrods that I have known. You Jaron! ARE THE MOST-”

                “Anyhoo,” interrupted Jaron, quickly changing the subject before Vragon’s words got nasty, “Jasmine told me you found something interesting.”

                In a mere second, Vragon’s attitude changed from great anger and displeasure to upbeat interest and excitement.

                “Oh yeah,” he muttered as he moved papers and books to find what he wanted to show his friend.

                “Here this is the one.” he proudly exclaimed, picking up a dusty old book. He blew on it to get some of the dust off, right in front of Jaron’s face, causing a rapid amount of loud sneezes.

                “Sorry I didn’t see you there.” Vragon apologized sarcastically.

                “Now whose lying.” Jaron protested back rubbing his now itchy snout.

                “Don’t be sore Jaron.” Vragon laughed with vengeance, “You had that coming and not just for today.”

                “Ugh” Jaron sighed, “Are you still mad about me hiding that ‘torn up book of yours’?”

                “Firstly!” Vragon scolded harshly, “That Torn Up book of mine is a rare first edition of a collection of many theories and speculations on the topics of Real and Reverse world distortions. And Secondly, You didn’t just hide that Book, making me frantically search for it all around town for TWO WHOLE DAYS! You had the GALL and ODACITY, to return it to me on the third day saying, Oh I found this in your pile of books. Were you looking for it?

                “I promised I wouldn’t do that again.” Jaron grumbled.

                “After,” Vragon yelled, “you did it a second time but with my Cultural traditions of Hohann!”

                “Who cares to read about some place where Ho-oh’s rule as shoguns?” Jaron sighed, growing bored of the conversation.

                “IIII DOOOO!!!!!” Vragon yelled, Loud enough to make Jaron cover his ears.

                “Okay, okay.” Jaron apologized, “I understand,….Pfft, that you’re obsessed with your books, I get it.” Jaron giggled.

                Vragon was so angry at this joke, that he began walking slowly to Jaron. His claws giving the impression of a future strangling.

                Trying to divert the topic, Jaron reminded Vragon about why he asked him to come. Vragon sighed, cooling his emotions down. He set the old book on his desk and explained.

                “This book here is a collection of monarchy traditions of many countries and kingdoms.”

                “So what’s is it you found?” Jaron asked getting a bit curious.

                “This is what I found.” Vragon exclaimed boastfully as he opened the book and turned to a page with beautiful embroideries and detailed illustrations.

                “Take a look at this picture” he said pointing to a picture of the symbol Truth and Ideals intertwine.

                “So,” The curious yet clueless tododile theorized, “This is a finding because it’s the same color as you?”

                “If it was that blatant I could say any black ink on white paper would be a finding.” Vragon bluntly put it, planting his palm into his face.

                “At least you would have more to go on.” Jaron joked.

                The middle evolution dragon growled in annoyance at this, but collected his thoughts and explained to Jaron his reasoning.

                “My pendent that I was holding on the day you and Ciecro found me is the exact same symbol and design as this picture.”

                “Neat, your pendant is on a page of a dusty book.” Jaron murmured a little disappointed.

                “It’s not just the matching you dolt!” stated an agitated Vragon, “The text below the illustration says that this design was and still is used in the kingdoms of Zekrious and Reshama, but they both only used their respective color side of the pendant parts.”

                “So you think that could be a lead?” Jaron asked.

                “Unfortunately it probably is not.” Vragon confessed with a frown, “It also stipulates that whenever royals of either kingdom pledged mate hood to one of the other kingdoms royals. The crests were then joined to commemorate this union of truth and ideals. Of course only royals wore the crests as pendants and only the legendary species Zekrom and Reshiram were royals in those countries respectfully.”

                “So,” Jaron asked, rubbing his head trying to understand, “How the heck did you get this pendant? I’m mean it looks like it wasn’t made too long ago. And it’s not like a Zekrom nor a Reshiram can together have a Fraxure, like you, as offspring. I mean, you’ve told me that legends can only produce legends, no matter the partner, right? So why do you have that pendant?”

                “I wonder about that a lot” Vragon imparted, “I mean the only other possibilities out there would be;

                A) I was given it, but the Royals only gave these to spouses and I’m not at the age of mate hood,
                B) I stole it which I hope I didn’t, or
                C) I found it somewhere. But even if it’s one of these three I still have no recollection of my life before being found five years ago.”

                “And you’d think that the owner would know its missing by now if he’s still alive.” Jaron added.

                “Not just that.” Vragon ranted, “But look at this map.” Vragon pulled out a dusty map he had been given by the Library in Frantal town as a gift.

                “Were here in the silky plains region of the continent Triacal. We’re near but still a ways from Triacal’s eastern coast.”

                “And where are these two kingdoms you speak of?” Jaoron inquired.

                Vragon moved his claw to the far end of the continent Winthrobax.

                “You’re kidding. That’s how much space we are from those places!” Jaron stated in disbelief at the distance.

                “I know, and this is just a map of our continent and Winthrobax. By using the measures from the map’s scales, I have narrowed the distance, with straight line from us to it, a little over two hundred miles, excluding the six hundred more across the continent to even reach Reshama’s borders.”

                “But that means there is at least a possibility.” Jaron encouraged.

                This fact didn't cheer the Dragon Type up.

                “Even if it is probable I’m still have an Averian Crest. So there’s that to consider. Just when a piece comes into play ten more holes pop up. It’s like when I begin to think of a possibility or explanation for me being here, something shows up to disprove or downgrade the plausibility of the my theory’s accuracy.” Vragon sighed. He slouched onto his study desk very discouraged.

                “I wonder if I’ll ever find out, who I was, where I came from, and how I have this pendant.” He moaned, as he grabbed the glittering pendant around his broad neck and looked at the thing with a very depressed gaze.

                “Don’t worry” said Jaron cheerfully trying to ease his friends worries, “I’m sure you’ll find out eventually.”
                “Thanks Jaron,” Vragon replied, giving a slight grin, “If I have to have a total jerk of a friend in my life, I’m glad it’s you.”

                “Thanks??” Jaron replied, to the bittersweet comment. Jaron shook it off and blurted out confidently, “I’m sure we’ll find another lead someday.”

                “If only it were that easy to find one.” sighed Vragon even deeper than before, as he looked out the window to the light blue sky, “If only we had more clues.”

                “Hey Vragon I know what will cheer you up. How about you and me go on another round.” Jaron challenged.

                “Huh? Jaron I appreciate the thought but I should focus on work-”

                “Nonsense Vragon.” Jaron interrupted throwing his arm over the disheartened Fraxure, “It’s your day off from your job at the library and I’m done with my duties. You’ve read through books all day and haven’t been outside. No get your case and let’s go have some fun. Besides, I have a good feeling I’ll win this time.”

                Vragon gave a little noise from internal chuckling.

                “Yes Jaron, maybe today you will beat me in chess.”

                This box will be were I give context and describe things that may or maybe not be needed/deserve and explanation.
                First, an Original Mon is a mon that of lineage of anyone of the five clans. them being,

                Each clan bears their own unique birthmark that each Original mon has. These are all crests that reside on the right arm (Bipdeal), leg (if quadropadel), or body (no legs).
                Along with this, Originals have three things that come with their heritage.

                1) They are naturally stronger in certain areas (stats and other things). Now this isn't OP, but it can be a nuisance to mons that train on par with them. Think of it as Macho Brace worthy compared to non item holder both doing through training.

                2) Each one had a gift. A gift is a unique skill or Original Ability. There are common and rarer ones.

                3) Originals have the ability to preform mental links with other originals called "Soul Links". When to or more of Originals make physical contact with at least one being the "mental trigger" both mon's minds will see a vision or hear sound of the other mon's memories. There are cases of abnormalities with this, but they are extremely uncommon. These "Soul Links" however are able to evolve between mons that are closely bonded and can lead to more than just memory seeing.

                Comment Box:
                Phew that was long. But yeah, the linking is now at least viewable. It will gradually become clearer as I go on, and I'll try to make things understandable. I am somewhat limited on this forum, but I won't let that stop me. And yes, Vragon is my favorite OC I've made (if title didn't give it away already). I'm returning back to the normal work rotation cycle (save Zekerane's Journal will be added to it).
                I hope this work becomes enjoyable the further it goes.
                Old May 21st, 2017 (12:18 PM).
                Bay's Avatar
                Bay Bay is offline
                Darkinium Z
                Join Date: May 2006
                Location: Dani California
                Gender: Female
                Nature: Sassy
                Posts: 5,383
                One grammar mention under spoilers.

                “By that he means he doesn’t understand.” Jaron interjected with a tease. Ciecro gave him a growl. Jasmine walked over to the two and with a smirk told Ciecro, “You know what you need Ciecro.”

                “A brain.” Jaron interrupted again also earning a louder growl from Ciecro followed by him saying, “Your a stupid runt Jaron.”

                “He’s not all wrong.” Jasmine teased. Ciecro walked off saying as he went, “I have better things to do than listen to yawls' teasing. Just make sure you’re ready for tonight Jaron.”

                After Ciecro had gone, Jaron let out a sigh. Jasmine inquired what was wrong to which Jaron replied,

                “Ciecro’s just well, feels distant. I know he cares about us, but he’s well not very open about it much anymore. It would be nice to get a smile from him just to see me once in a while.”
                Ok this particular dialogue was hard to follow at first because in some instances you have two folks speaking in the same paragraph. When someone new speaks, sepearate in a new paragraph like this:

                “By that he means he doesn’t understand.” Jaron interjected with a tease. Ciecro gave him a growl.

                Jasmine walked over to the two and with a smirk told Ciecro, “You know what you need Ciecro.”

                “A brain.” Jaron interrupted again also earning a louder growl from Ciecro followed by him saying, “Your a stupid runt Jaron.”

                “He’s not all wrong.” Jasmine teased.

                Ciecro walked off saying as he went, “I have better things to do than listen to yawls' teasing. Just make sure you’re ready for tonight Jaron.”

                After Ciecro had gone, Jaron let out a sigh. Jasmine inquired what was wrong to which Jaron replied, “Ciecro’s just well, feels distant. I know he cares about us, but he’s well not very open about it much anymore. It would be nice to get a smile from him just to see me once in a while.”

                See how much it is easier to follow?

                From the conversation between Jaron, Cicero, and Jasmine in the beginning it seems you're trying to portray Cicero changed from a bit soft to someone that seems to hold a grudge and why he's behaving that way now. Good start, though perhaps there would be more instances of his current behavior later on.

                Ah, I see you're introducing Vragon now cool. Since I've been following the Journals sidestory, makes me wonder what events transpired Vragon to be separated from his family, but I think that will come to light (whether Journals or Shattered Crests) soon. Also curious how he'll play a role in this story.

                "Meowth are all right. They don't care who you are or anything."
                Foul Play [Chapter Four up!]
                Old June 11th, 2017 (9:36 AM).
                  Posts: n/a
                  Chapter 9
                  Pushing forward and away

                  “See ya’ guys!” Jasmine hollered to fellow Ranger workers, leaving the building as her shift ended.

                  “Have a good day Jasmine.” A rhydon waved at her to which she nodded. He suddenly rushed and stopped her for a second. He handed her a letter and explained,

                  “Wait a second Jasmine. I forgot about this. This came in the mail for Ciecro. Can you please take it to him? He seems to tolerate you the best so can you please do this. I don’t want another employee coming back here shooken up.”

                  “Okay, I’ll take it too him, sir.” Jasmine replied, taking the letter and placing it into her travel bag. As she continued her way outside the rhydon added with,

                  “Also, tell Jaron to get him to stop throwing mons on desks. Those things aren’t cheap and need to last.”
                  “I’ll be sure too.” Jasmine answered with a wink and left the place.

                  She strolled through the town, greeted by many cheery mons as she went. She had only been here for four years, and yet acquired quite the reputation with the locals. Course she didn’t mind the attention. She liked to feel appreciated no matter how small or from whom. Perhaps that’s why she forged a friendship with Jaron and a semi-understanding with Ciecro.

                  “I wonder how Jaron’s visit is going? Probably fine, I need to find Ciecro first anyway. I’ll visit Jaron and Vragon later.” She thought, as she arrived at the edge of town. She looked over the fields, hoping that her guess about where Ciecro was currently was right. From her history with the Charmeleon, Jasmine had observed that Ciecro only was ever at four specific places in town: The Ranger Station, Dolly’s Diner and Bar, Miss Dresha’s home, and that one place. She gave a little sigh at seeing she called it.

                  There Ciecro was in the distance. On a large round grassy hill between Miss Dresha’s house and the main road to the mountain.

                  She took her time making her way there, knowing that he wouldn’t budge from there anytime soon. If there was one thing she did admire about Ciecro’s stiff-necked behavior it was when he was there on that hill. She had seen him stand there before for hours in the rain, snow, and very strong winds, showing no intent of budging. It took the urging of Jaron to ever get him to leave, though Ciecro had started to concede to her requests recently.

                  “How are you today?” She asked the tall Charmeleon, as she joined him on the hill. She was only greeted by a low grunt. She didn’t heed it much. Ciecro wasn’t exactly very talkative in front of his parent’s tombstones, after all.

                  Though the pair of kids didn’t have their parent’s real corpses, they put up stones anyway to par respects to their kin. She wasn’t here till after the stones were put, but had heard the stories of them being built. About Ciecro carrying the two himself, while a Jaron carved words in them.

                  There was silence for a while as the two pondered what to say. Jasmine spoke first. “So how’s your aunt?” The answer she received was a lackluster “Fine.”

                  She set her bag down and pulled out the letter she had been given. She held it out to him with her mouth and tried to explain it was for him. He accepted it before her saliva got it too wet.

                  “So it got here.” He stated, putting it into his carry sack. Jasmine’s curiosity refused to stay quiet and she asked,

                  “So what’s in it? That is, if it’s okay to answer.”

                  “Nothing big. Just a little something extra for my aunt on her birthday. I’ll let Jaron give it to her.” He threw his sack over his shoulder and started to walk towards town. Jasmine smiled as he left.

                  He seemed to be okay at least. Sure he wasn’t ecstatic or even seems happy, but if working around the pair of brothers had taught her anything it was that Cicero had a hard shell but a deep core.

                  “I think I’ll see how Jaron and Vragon are doing.” She spoke to herself and headed to the direction of Vragon’s treehouse.


                  Ciecro walked through town. Unlike Jasmine, no one really stopped to greet him or ask him how he was. Just merely a stare from him at a mon would sends a chill through their spines. There was no denying he was feared to a mild degree. But not by all. There were mons that didn’t seems phased by his outward display of stubbornness. There was his aunt, Jasmine, his younger brother, Vragon to some degree, and Dolly.

                  “Might as well see how the old Kangaskhan is doing.” he thought putting a mini grin on his face. He stepped through the door below the sign saying Dolly’s bar and diner.

                  Upon his entrance into the little hub, the mons on the bar scooted down to the far edge of the bar.

                  “Howya doing Ciecro!?” a cheery voice greeted him as he put his sack on a nearby stool and sat down on another.

                  “Fine Dolly.” Ciecro replied with a little more liveliness in his tone, “I’ll just have some Moomoo milk.”

                  “Sure, so did it come today?” Dolly asked the Charmeleon, as she poured him the glass of milk.


                  “That’s good. So tell me Ciecro,” Dolly inquired in a quieter tone as she set the glass in front of him, “how was your visit?”

                  “Heh, dad’s doing fine.” Ciecro replied with a grin, gulping down the milk, “Mom’s the same.”

                  “So, what do you plan to do today?” She asked him leaning towards him so their faces were adjacent.

                  “Nothing much. Might go for a walk.”

                  “How about you spar with someone. You always like doing that and it lets you get some hot air out. After all Ciecro, you need to have happy days now and then.”

                  “Nah,” Ciecro declined, “Everyone else here is to wimpy to fight. Jaron’s the only one that is really any challenge.”

                  “What about that Absol girl?” Dolly teased, “I bet she’d be pretty tough for you to beat.”

                  Ciecro merely took another sip of the milk and muttered, “She can handle a fight, but not a fight with me.”

                  Dolly chuckled leaning in closer, “Really, cause I wasn’t talking about fighting. I bet you’d be too nervous to hit such a fine friend of yours.”

                  Dolly gave Ciecro a brief wink, making his eyes widen and start blushing.

                  “She’s just a friend you hag!” He shouted getting off his stool. The volume of his objection brought every eye in the room towards him. Dolly just laughed and whispered,

                  “Never mind, dearie. I’m sure you’ll to just be friends.”

                  This sentence didn’t make Ciecro feel any better. He didn’t like being made fun of and if he didn’t respect Dolly he wouldn’t hesitate to let out a punch. He merely growled and sat back down.

                  “Ugh, why is it that mons think I shouldn’t be grumpy for a day. I do it every day after all.” Ciecro grumbled.

                  “Well it’s the mons that care about you. We know it’s that time of year again and you’ll be thinking about you parents more. Feel free to shed an extra tear for me today.”

                  “I’m no kid.” Ciecro growled.

                  “Sure,” Dolly laughed, “but you sometimes act like one. And while I wouldn’t say you should do it often, it’s fine to be vulnerable with us after all.”

                  “Ugh can’t you give it a rest.” Ciecro sighed setting the empty glass on the counter, “I don’t care for the motivation or anything. I’m ready to rip any mons head that tries to hurt any of us so why worry? I’m tough Dolly I can take a hit.”

                  “Yeah I know.” Dolly smiled, “I’ll just keep on hitting then till I get you on a knee.”

                  “You’re a stubborn lady, you know that.” Ciecro bluntly put it.

                  “And you’re a loved loner that is twice as stubborn. Take care Ciecro and try to have at least a smile tomorrow. For your Aunt’s sake.”

                  Ciecro nodded as he picked up his bag, left some coins, and exited the building.

                  He looked at the sky above as he began heading back home. The clouds were white a puffy, moving slowly in the wind.

                  “I can stand pestering. Though they have good intentions. But if dad taught me anything it was to be strong. I’m fine just the freaking way I am. I’ll make this birthday extra special tomorrow."

                  His face turned to a scowl, "The two I admired are gone so I'm the one who has to be tough now. I'll be just as strong as my dad and I'll never leave those I care for. I'll be trustworthy. I won't be Seliph, I'll be Gathor.”
                  Old June 21st, 2017 (12:34 PM).
                    Posts: n/a
                    Kay, so a but of a comment here.
                    I know I said I'm on a semi-hiatus that will have me updating just not as often.
                    Course, I needed a break and I'm actually going to try and do some edits to all my older works.
                    Bascially, I'm going to be fixing some stuff from every chapter since my works' inception on this site.
                    I'll balance it with another chapter writing and I hope the extra lengths of time show a better in quality.
                    Anyway on more thing. I chose to update Shattered Crests first since I felt the last chapter was kinda kill joy.
                    I hope you all understand and don't worry. I'll be updating the next work in the circle
                    (not Zekerane yet but probably next time it comes full circle). Also, this one is a bit long so just to let you all know.

                    One last thing: I'm doing internal thoughts with italics now so hope that makes it easier to read.

                    Nothing to say here.
                    Chapter 10
                    Mutual Gain

                    “I get it so using this Area of Circle equation,” Jaron uttered.

                    “Yeah so now let’s try it out,” Vragon suggested.

                    It was that time of day again, where the two friends would exchange in teachings. Vragon would teach Jaron deeper math and Jaron would spar train with Vragon.

                    “Okay, so using this equation, find the Radius of a Circle with the Area of 24 centimeters,” Vragon challenged the corconaw. Jaron rest his head on his claw and began to work out the problem.

                    “Okay so I know the area is 24 along with π being a repeating decimal, so I’ll keep it as a variable.”

                    “Good, good,” Vragon encouraged. When Jaron had finished, Vragon asked him for the answer.

                    “Well I’ve come up with the square root of 24 centimeters divided by π.”

                    Vragon gave an approving nod. Jaron didn’t hesitated to show his pride in coming to the correct answer. It was moments like these when Jaron could feel smart. Something he loved to feel just as much as being strong.

                    “You did well Jaron,” Vragon praised, “you took my advice and didn’t rush it. I’m glad you did well. I think that’s a good note to end it on.”

                    Vragon got up and put the Algebra book in one of his many book shelves. Jaron got to his feet as well and let out a quit growl. As Vragon backed from the bookshelf, Jaron pounced on his back laughing. “Jaron! You’re that anxious,” Vragon chortled as the croconaw got off him.

                    “Come on, it’s time to spar,” Jaron pressed, with competiveness in his tone. Jaron then turned to the trap door opening. Vragon smiled menacingly behind the croconaw and then pounced at Jaron. This however didn’t result the same way. Jaron caught the move and they ended up with both palms locked. Vragon moaned, seeing he failed to return the favor.

                    “Nice try Vray,” Jaron teased, “but I would recommend you save your energy for our spar.”

                    “Fair” Vragon smiled, releasing his end of their palm lock. They both kept their gaze focused. The competitiveness burning in their eyes.

                    “Getting cocky are we? Cause” Jaron responded.

                    “Warning you is my answer. I let you speculate what the warning means,” Vragon laughed.


                    The orange light of the late afternoon was beginning to show. The wind was blowing just right to make these two mon’s spar area perfect.

                    Jaron stood in a provoking stance, while Vragon retained a balanced posture. Jaron tightened his gaze. Vragon readied his focus and waited for Jaron to move.

                    Jaron lunged for the fraxure and Vragon shot up his defense. The croconaw sliced, but his claws only skimmed over Vragon’s blocking arms. Jaron took the advantage of the momentum to sweep at Vragon’s legs with his tail. Vragon jumped over the swipe. Suddenly Jaron stopped and did a reverse head-butt onto Vragon’s vulnerable chest. Vragon was knocked on his back as Jaron leaped upon him. Jaron grinned as he crossed his claws over Vragon’s throat.

                    “Ha! I win!" Jaron grinned as removed his claws. He then offered his hand in good gesture to his friend. A sigh came from the defeated mon and he accepted Jaron’s hand.

                    “That was dirty, Jaron” Vragon protested.

                    “You expect a fight to be fair. Vragon, you’ll never beat me with that mindset,” Jaron put it bluntly. He smiled as he pat Vragon on the head and said, “But hey, you still can fight pretty well and you have a knack for reading opponents. You just got to be able to react quickly and learn to save the predicting for when you’re safe. I’m sure you have potential and all that stuff in you.”

                    The fraxure blushed from embarrassment. “Come one Jaron,” Vragon weakly laughed, “You’re just saying that because-”

                    “But it's true Vragon, course you’ve always dodged compliments. Come on, your way to modest.”
                    It was then that they heard a familiar voice call their names. The duo turned to see their absol friend heading their way. The three met up and exchanged greetings.

                    “So Jasmine, I’ve been meaning to ask you something. Would you like to join me and Ciecro for our Aunt’s birthday?” Jaron asked.

                    “Sure love too,” Jasmine accepted gleefully. She then turned her gaze to the fraxure and said, “Vragon, you wanna help me look for a gift for Miss Dresha?”

                    Vragon quickly replied with a “Yeah.”

                    “Okay, so I’ll leave you two to your thing and go find my brother.” Jaron announced and the three went their ways.

                    Jasmine and Vragon began walking towards town, chatting as they went. During the converse, Vragon mustered the nerve to ask Jasmine a question.

                    “Hey uh Jasmine.”


                    “You have two sisters right?”

                    “Uh huh. What about them?”

                    “Well, what’s it like to have siblings?”

                    Jasmine looked down and thought for a second. Then with a mischievous smile jested, “A lot like you and Jaron.”

                    “Jasmine!” Vragon shouted, “I’m being serious here. What’s it like to have siblings?”

                    “Why do you need to know? I mean you don’t have any so why bring this up?” Jasmine pointed out. Vragon stuttered for a second as he got his thoughts together.

                    “That’s the reason after all. I mean Jaron has his older brother and you have your younger twin sisters back where you are from so I guess I’m interested if not curious.”

                    “Well Vragon, not everything can be explained.” Jasmine pointed out.

                    “Your right about that.” Vragon agreed.

                    “It’s kinda funny that you’d ask that. Are you worried about something?” Jasmine pressed while smiling.

                    “W-wha?” Vragon reacted, a blush covering his face.

                    “Listen Vragon, don’t worry being a friend doesn’t make you lower. After all we can’t choose our family, but we can choose our friends. So us having you as a friend speaks for itself now doesn’t it?” Jasmine pointed out. Vragon paused. He sighed as he replied with, “Sorry, I guess I’m just-”

                    “Paranoid?” Jasmine guessed.

                    “Jas-!....heh okay your right. I’m paranoid.”

                    Jasmine assured him with, “You’re alright Vragon. Besides not all siblings are great as Jaron can no doubt attest to.”

                    “Yeah, I can’t blame Jaron for being mad at Seliph. I wonder what he’s like.”
                    “What do you mean?” Jasmine asked.

                    “From their history he seemed like a pretty good older brother. Course, I wasn’t there and such an event like they descried could really affect a mon if not change one. But that’s enough of this let’s find that gift.” Vragon concluded.


                    There was nothing but silence for a little bit. Well at least after Vragon raised one more question, “You really think me and Jaron are like siblings?”

                    Jasmine giggled and answered with, “Sure.”


                    Far away from the silky plains region, near the famous Shimmer Hill was Crion City. Crion City was a hub for trade in Triacal with many other continents. However, due to the trading environment and foreign influence, it was a higher place for criminal activity, even more than Treasure City to the southwest.

                    In a nearby alley stood an aggron. He was flipping a Triacal poke coin staying in the shade of the alley. In a little bit a mon came up from the back of the alley and joined up with him leaning on the wall. The aggron’s large body kept the figure hidden from public view and the Steel/Rock type whispered, “Find anything?”

                    The mon looked at him and leaned in closer. The light emanating from the alley reached part of his face revealing tan skin around a blue iris eyes.

                    “I did find my end of the bargain. Did you get your end?”

                    The aggron chuckled beneath his breathe as he rest his head against the wall. “Yeah I got it. Course if you want it tell your bit first.”

                    The silhouetted figure sighed and relayed the trade records to the mon. The aggron nodded in understanding and then told his information.

                    “I’m not certain to what you wanted to know about what they were after, however I did get what you mainly wanted. Two mons made a transport deal with traders to the Fogbound region of Triacal. Rumors were they were in a hurry to get to that region. Also they fit your description on the irises they possessed.”

                    “Thank you sir,” The mon said and began to walk away.

                    “You intend to follow them?” The aggron inquired, leaving an implication of skepticism in his tone.
                    “What is that to you?” the figure softly shot back.

                    “I might be able to get you there without means of traditional methods. It would help keep you from being discovered or at least noticeable.”

                    “And what is your price?” The mon asked the aggron turning to face him. Seeing this interest, the aggron answered with, “I want the records of another competitor. Once you do, I can smuggle you to Fongus City near the Lake and you will be on your own from there.”

                    “I accept.” The figure bowed his head and went to complete this new task.

                    “I can get you a false identification just incase,” the aggron offered, “I can even get you a different name and records to prove it.”

                    “Thank you but I’m fine,” the mon said as it reached the end wall of the alley, “Seliph is fine with me.”
                    Seliph wall jumped his way to one of the roofs and began walking on the rooftops.

                    Why go there? Seliph pondered, I know my brothers haven’t been found yet there so close to where they reside. They shouldn’t have much interest there since that area is more rural. I need to find the objectives of those two operatives just to be sure. I might get a lead I need and eliminate another threat on believable reasons to keep them off that area.

                    He reached into a pocket in his belt and pulled out a little jar with red liquid in it.

                    I’m not knowledgeable enough in psychological influence and biological mutation to use this. I also don’t have enough of this to create a cure without using all my resources. I can maybe get info from the about where I can find more. I promised my parents that I would find a cure and do whatever it takes to do it.

                    He put the liquid back and resumed his new task.

                    Comment Box:

                    Okay, so hopefully this stirs some thought. I'm open to feedback still so that's not dead. Also, I might as well as say this. I'm going to start another thread in the future that will be Xenolouges to this story. While it will be similar to something like the journal it will be more of telling characters and explaining things in alternate stories. Like other characters taking the lead if you will. Since there will be events happening outside the main story and these things will tell some of them regarding characters or things that happen alongside or before. Anyway, it's not happening yet, but in the future.
                    Old June 21st, 2017 (7:08 PM).
                    Bay's Avatar
                    Bay Bay is offline
                    Darkinium Z
                    Join Date: May 2006
                    Location: Dani California
                    Gender: Female
                    Nature: Sassy
                    Posts: 5,383
                    “Warning you is my answer. I let you speculate what the warning means,” Vragon laughed.
                    Laugh is a weird dialogue tag because you can't "laugh" while talking. You can use "Vragon said, then laughed" though. Speaking of which, I noticed you almost ignored "said." You're not wrong using dialogue tags like, "protest" or "reply" but don't be allergic to use said too. If you're worried "said" being repetitive, then you can have your dialogue come across through some action and reaction without dialogue tags.

                    If I have to be honest, the beginning with Jaron and Vragon doing math I don't think adds much compare to the next scene. Just didn't grab me while the spar between the two was more exciting and then the interactions with Jasmine and Vragon are cute. The last scene with the aggron and Seliph does make me wonder what Seliph's been up to. You could have perhaps used this chapter to expand that.

                    "Meowth are all right. They don't care who you are or anything."
                    Foul Play [Chapter Four up!]
                    Old July 8th, 2017 (3:01 PM).
                    Bay's Avatar
                    Bay Bay is offline
                    Darkinium Z
                    Join Date: May 2006
                    Location: Dani California
                    Gender: Female
                    Nature: Sassy
                    Posts: 5,383
                    Seliph closed his research book and rested his back on a crate. As he looked out the window flashes of memories flooded his head. Going near to where his brothers were put little flashbacks of him with them. It brought a little smile, but it was soon doused. He wasn’t going back there for their sake. Those two mons could be subjects he needed to interrogate.
                    The first couple sentences I feel you got repetitive with "flashes of memories" and "little flashbacks" here. Maybe be more specific what memories Seliph was thinking of.

                    This is more a formatting issue, but I take it the <o> is more as a way to transistion from one scene to another? If so, I think you don't need three of those since Seliph recalling his adventures is all in one scene. This is me being picky though.

                    Glad you have Seliph and Dresha's conversation before he left there. Part of me wonders if that conversation would be stronger with more physical reactions from both of them. If you just want to showcase their dialogue, though, then a simple format matter, like italicizing their conversation, is fine too. Does sound like Seliph has a lead into his research over the red liquid.

                    Yeah things seem to still be slow compared to the fast pace action in the earlier chapters, but at least we got a status report on Seliph.

                    "Meowth are all right. They don't care who you are or anything."
                    Foul Play [Chapter Four up!]
                    Old July 26th, 2017 (8:24 PM).
                      Posts: n/a
                      Nothing to say here either.
                      Chapter 12
                      Deduction and Reaction Skills

                      It was around 10:00PM when Vragon got back to his little home after a fun time celebrating Ms. Dresha’s birthday. Despite how much fun he was having, he had bid his farewell to the occasion early. He needed to finish organizing a list of incoming books for the library.

                      The list was taking longer than usual Vragon noticed. He rubbed his slightly stinging eyes and glanced at the hourglass on his stand. It indicated an hour had already passed. Vragon sighed and flipped it over again.

                      I need to finish this, but I can’t focus. I’m not too tired…I think. Vragon tried again to work. After thirty more minutes of attempting to get it done, Vragon finally slouched back into his wooden chair in exhaustion and frustration. He had messed up the organization five times in a row in the entire span of his time back. Why was this going on? He slammed his face flat on the desk and let out a muffled yell.

                      Upon picking his face up, his eyes fell back onto his pendant. It looked pretty with its black and white sides glowing in the candlelight. He reached out and picked it up. What was it telling him?


                      Dolly was cleaning dishes after her place was nearing closing. It had been a fine day despite not seeing her hothead Ciecro, Charming Jaron or Cutie Vragon as she called them. Just then her doors were pushed open and she once again went with her welcoming routine.

                      “Hi welcome what will you..have,” Her voice dropped a little at the site of a menacing looking gallade sitting at one of the bar stools. Trying to act casual, despite the weird feeling she was getting, Dolly once again asked what the stranger would have.

                      “Just some milk if you don’t mind. Oh and could you pour it here.”

                      This request was uncanny, but Dolly wasn’t one to quickly dump a request based on weirdness. She opened a bottle of momomilk and as he asked began pouring it in front of him. As this went on, the stranger looked into her eyes and she to his. His irises were blood red and very vibrant.

                      “Tell me, do you have any favorite customers?” the mon asked. Dolly began to feel strange but answered with, “Yeah, some that I like more than the normies.”

                      “That’s good,” the stranger said, his eyes widening a little more. “Are any of them somewhat unique?”

                      Dolly remained quiet, but the feeling was becoming stronger. The stranger’s eyes were seemingly pulling her in and keeping her staring at him. The stranger then asked one more thing, “I’m curious about this town. Do you know anyone else here that isn’t from here like me. I would like to get to know some other folks that know the locals better.”

                      Dolly could feel her head beginning to hurt a little. She saw flashes in her head related to each question the stranger asked. If it wasn’t for the milk she was pouring to overflow, she would’ve kept staring into the stranger’s eyes.

                      As she rushed to clean up the mess, the stranger merely got up and tossed what he owed her. “But wait don’t you want your drink?” Dolly asked, snapping back her composure.

                      “It’s fine madam. I suddenly feel different. Good day and sorry for the mess.” He gave a polite head bow and left. Dolly stood there paralyzed. She finally got herself together and tried to figure out what happened.

                      This stranger guy definitely wanted something. I don’t know if he got whatever the heck he wanted, but I’m guessing that staring contest was his means to getting it. I don’t know what but…huh wait unique…..could he be aft…… I have to go warn the group, but I can’t leave yet. Incase they’re suspicious of my acting.

                      Meanwhile outside the diner, the same gallade was leaning on a wall in an alley. He stared out to the road with an aversion gaze.

                      “What’s got you riled up?” Vex asked with a slight laugh in his voice. He wedged out of a shadow on the wall. His answer was only met with silence. Vex sighed.

                      “Fine then business first. What did you find out?”

                      “The mon we’re after is indeed here. He lives in some small house in a tree. It’s near the outskirts so we can go there and get him,” Siegfried firmly answered. He was about to head out till Vex said something.

                      “Why are you exactly so tense? It’s just a kid we’re after.”

                      “An Averian kid,” Siegfried snarled. “He’s stronger by default.”

                      “So, we can take him. But, I’m beginning to think you mean something else,” Vex slithered, a dark smile forming on his lips. Siegfried turned away, trying not to look at the fool behind him.

                      “Man don’t you have a hate boner for originals,” Vex said with a chuckle. “He’s just some kid. At least wait till we’ve got everything out of the runt before you beat him up.”

                      To this Siegfried spun around, revealing a face full of rage. “Are you saying that I would hurt him just because he’s a tool like all the Original Clans children are!?” Vex gave a shrug. He then walked past and suggested they get on with their mission. Siegfried gave a sigh and followed the gengar into the ally.


                      Vragon had finally given up on the organizing for the night. He just couldn’t do it today not while he was in this shape. Course, what shape was he in? It wasn’t like the part dragged him down. He didn’t know what was going on. He didn’t feel wrong, he just couldn’t keep his focus to do this job. He got out of his chair and looked out his window.

                      The sky looked pretty with all the stars in the sky. The soft nighttime breeze blew on his face, sending wonderful chills through his spine. He suddenly heard some sound below him. It wasn’t a new sound. Just someone climbing up on his rope ladder, but the sound was louder and the boards squeaked weirdly. Then he heard a thump as something hit the tree.

                      Someone else? Someone was coming up and apparently didn’t want to be noticed. He didn’t have much time and if they were after him they wouldn’t hesitate to rush him if he tried to escape, plus there may be someone outside waiting. An idea struck his mind. He grabbed his pendant so he wouldn’t lose it in the ruckus to come.

                      Siegfried was trying his best climbing up the rope ladder. He tried to rush up there, but was met with a bump into the tree and a lecture from Vex. He shrugged off both and continued on. As he was nearing the top he heard a voice from above, “Hey is that you Jaron? Come on in.”

                      The trapdoor was opened with no figure standing there. Despite being relieved he didn’t have to lift that thing himself, he was suspicious of this action on the occupant’s part. He looked down to Vex, who nodded in concurrence at this uncanny move. Siegfried tensed up as he slowly made his way up. When he got to the top he didn’t see their target. His eyes fell upon a messy desk. The notes covered the desk and also on the..

                      “Window Sill!” Siegfried shouted, rushing to try and see where the fraxure had gotten to. It was then Vragon, who was behind the trap door, leaped down the whole. Vex below looked up to meet a Dragon Claw to his face.

                      He yelled in pain, clasping the scratch on his face. He shouted for Siegfried to pursue the target. Siegfried leaped out, however Vragon wasn’t on the road to the town. The gallade turned around to see Vragon rushing to the forest’s edge nearby.

                      “That runt!” Siegfried roared as he chased after Vragon, while Vex kept rubbing his face to calm the stinging.
                      Old July 26th, 2017 (10:03 PM).
                      Bay's Avatar
                      Bay Bay is offline
                      Darkinium Z
                      Join Date: May 2006
                      Location: Dani California
                      Gender: Female
                      Nature: Sassy
                      Posts: 5,383
                      Things are moving along at a faster pace with Siegfried and Vex's appearance and the action between them and Vragon at the end. The chase should be interesting. Oh, I should have mentioned this when you gave me the draft, but you could probably put a bit more description with Dolly's reaction after her guest left, like her continue cleaning the place but unable to keep shaking.

                      "Meowth are all right. They don't care who you are or anything."
                      Foul Play [Chapter Four up!]
                      Old January 9th, 2018 (12:11 AM). Edited February 11th, 2018 by Vragon.
                        Posts: n/a
                        Mild Language
                        Chapter 14
                        An odd gift

                        “Huff…Puff, I hear some fighting ahead!” Jaron shouted to his brother, a few feet away.

                        “Good so Jasmine did make it to ‘em,” Ciecro replied, “Come on, Dolly, we’re almost there.”

                        “Don’t wait up for me,” Dolly shouted a couple of yards behind, “I’ll just slow you down. Get to him first and foremost.”

                        The two didn’t hesitate to leave the kangaskhan behind; Dolly was out of sight in a manner of minutes. The sound of a battle was ahead.

                        “They should be up there,” Jaron shouted with slight relief. He ran ahead, but was tackled by Ciecro. The noise of an explosion came from behind them. Ciecro got up off the confused Jaron and began scouring the area. He told Jaron that he was almost hit by a random shadow ball and that someone was around. Jaron didn’t hesitate to get back up and cover his brother’s back. The two listened and watched. Ciecro surged a dragon claw from his right claw and sliced another rogue shadow ball.

                        “Brother,” Jaron whispered, “the mon must be a flyer. The ball came from the opposite direction and I didn’t hear any rustling.”

                        “You’re right” Ciecro whispered back, “Wait for another attack and go for it. I’ll deal with the move.” The two waited again for another one to be thrown and sure enough a shadow ball headed towards them again.

                        “Deep left!” Ciecro shouted slicing at the ghost type move. Jaron ducked under the charmeleon’s arm and fired a scald. A silhouette moved evaded the attack, but it was too late.

                        “Gotcha,” Ciecro said with a grin as he twirled from the moment of his slice. He professionally pulled out a luminous orb and threw it. It’s lit the area up with a blinding light, causing the creature to squirm from the sudden light. The two brothers managed to shield their eyes before being blinded as well.

                        “Ow, that- ugh,” a gengar ranted, rubbing his hurting eyes. He blinked them just in time to see a dragon claw headed towards his throat. He phased into the ground, barely avoiding the lethal attack.

                        “Dammit,” Ciecro growled as the shadow rushed away from him.

                        “I’ll get it,” Jaron uttered before firing another scald at the gengar. It swiftly evaded and charged at Jaron. Vex slightly moved out of the ground and fired another shadow ball. Jaron dodged and fired his scald back, but once again the gengar phased into the ground and evaded with impressive speed.

                        “He’s faster in the ground,” Jaron shouted, as the shadowy circle rushed past him. Vex leaped out of the ground and fired more shadow balls, each one met with either Ciecro’s flamethrower or Jaron’s scald. Vex was about to hit the ground and phase, but spied out of the corner of his eye an incoming fist. He floated away from a powerful dizzy punch shredding the ground where the gengar would have been.

                        “More?” Vex muttered, a bit shaken from his second narrow escape.

                        “Jaron, Ciecro,” Dolly exclaimed, “go help them up ahead, I can handle this goof.” The duo nodded and resumed their mission.

                        “Heh, clever using the scare factor of that move even though it wouldn’t have hurt me,” Vex laughed. Dolly just gave an arrogant grin. She outstretched her arms and formed a focus blast.

                        She’s bluffing, but what if she has the scrappy ability*?

                        She hurled the fighting type move at the ghost. Out of doubt, Vex flung his own ball move and the two collided.

                        Dolly smiled and began to taunt, “Heh, lost your nerve. Wouldn’t blame yah, after all I can be a bit scrappy.”

                        “Shut it,” Vex replied, annoyed.

                        “What afraid of a normal type? I thought you ghosts were immune to our normality with your edgy style and mean looks.”

                        “I swear I’ll-”

                        “What’s the matter? Am I messing with your focus? Don’t worry hun, my battles always are a blast.”

                        Vex screamed in frustration. “I don’t have time to mess around with you or your poor excuse of humor,” Vex exclaimed, phasing back into the ground.

                        “Nope,” Dolly said, her irises glowing cyan.

                        To his surprise, Vex phased out of the ground. He was left perplexed until Dolly exclaimed with a laugh, “Not so sneaky once you’ve been sighted or foresighted that is.”

                        Both this news and the pun just angered the gengar. He fired a shadow ball straight at the kangaskhan. Dolly let it phase through her body and strike a tree.

                        Dammit, I’m hugely disadvantaged now. Vex thought as he scowled at the smirking kangaskhan. Two of my moves are useless to me and now I can’t phase into the ground to lose her … wait … heh very well then.

                        Vex’s scowl vanished as he looked up into the night sky. He closed his red eyes and said something in a soft maniacal tone. “Now dearie, I suggest you leave while you still have your arms.”

                        Unintimidated by this threat, Dolly replied with, “If you think you puny ghost arms can even lift them.”
                        Vex gave a giggle and faced her again. As he opened his eyes slowly he slowly spoke, “Who said my arms?” His eyes opened wide; they were glowing an evil red light.

                        Dolly braced herself for an attack, but slowly she began to sway. Her eyes began dropping a little. She tried to look away from the hypnosis, but she couldn’t escape it. She fell onto her left knee, but managed to catch her fall with her right arm. By now she was half awake as Vex walked up towards her, his eyes still beaming.

                        “Mon’s like you are why the phrase, ‘muscle for brains’ exists. If only I had the time to waste on you, but unfortunately I need to beat those two there. Have a nice rest while I and my associate get what we want. Oh and don’t worry, we’ll try not to make it too gory of a scene,” He gave an evil grin as the kangaskhan collapsed into a deep sleep. Vex’s eyes reverted to their normal red selves. Vex felt a pleasurable jolt in his body as he returned to ghost type normality. He phased into the ground and shot to aid Siegfried.

                        Just as he left, Dolly began to turn a little. Her eyes opened up and she slowly got back to her feet. She rolled her head and with a smile muttered, “Good thing I’m an early bird kangaskhan, heh.”

                        < O >

                        Siegfried narrowly dodged a Psycho Cut from Jasmine only to raise his own to block Vragon’s Dragon Claw. He diverted one of his arms to block Jasmine’s incoming Megahorn. Siegfried slid his arms in front and pushed off using the combined force of all three moves. He landed a few feet away with Vragon and Jasmine readying to strike.

                        “I admit,” Siegfried commented while panting, “you both are quite impressive. An ordinary such as yourself really puts a lot of force behind those cuts.”

                        “I don’t need flattery goon. And shouldn’t you be appalled that you are losing to an ‘ordinary’ such as myself?” Jasmine retorted.

                        Siegfried smirked and answered, “It makes sense since I have two opponents. I mean you two have good battle chemistry considering your inexperience.”

                        “Hey!” Vragon shouted, “I’ll have you know we have plenty of experience.”

                        “Well I do at least,” Jasmine added with a small smile. Vragon gave her a truculent look. “Seriously, Jasmine‽ Fighting focus or comedian, Pick one!”

                        “Sorry Vray I enjoy riling you up too,” Jasmine said as she walked in front, readying a Psycho Cut, “But you’re right. It’s time to end this.”

                        “Indeeeeed” a voice came from her right. She turned to see a Shadow Ball headed her way. She swing her move to collide with the blob, causing a minor explosion. Vex’s shadow circled around the resulting smoke and leaped out of the ground. His Shadow Claw headed straight for Vragon. The startled fraxure raised his claws in response, but to his surprise he didn’t need to.

                        “You need to work on your reflex skills,” Jaron said with a smile, holding back the gengar’s attack. The croconaw focused on the ghost and pushed the mon back. The reptile fired a following Scald attack at the floating gengar. It hit its mark, knocking Vex into the ground a few feet away.

                        “How’s it going, Vee?” Jaron asked with a frisky smile.

                        “Don’t call me ‘vee’, Jaron” Vragon berated, “Can you lay your antics aside till after we’re in the clear?”

                        “You’re welcome,” Jaron answered, with a lighthearted smile. “Though yeah you’re right Vray. Jasmine, stay with Vragon, let me and Ciecro handle this,” Jaron ordered.

                        At that moment a beam of fire flew past the group at the just now getting up gengar. Vex barely was able to push himself away from the fire and fly out of the blast range. He descended towards Siegfried and landed beside him. Ciecro walked in front of the group, rolled his neck and snarled.

                        “These punks better be worth the trip.” Ciecro said with a sigh as he began walking towards them, cracking his claws.

                        “Wait? He’s the one from before?” Jaron announced. A worried expression crossed his face.

                        “What?” Vex replied with a grin, “She wanted to take me on and well that didn’t go so well.” Jaron’s face scowled.

                        “Why you-” Jaron started as he was about to rush towards them. To Jaron’s surprise, Ciecro blocked Jaron’s path with is arm. Jaron looked up at Ciecro’s very angry face.

                        “You’re just asking to be damaged,” the charmeleon rushed towards them. Siegfried rushed to join him and the two’s punches collided. Ciecro twirled around to strike with his tail. Siegfried leaped over it, only to be hit by a scald from Jaron.

                        “I’m surprised, that was a good plan,” Vragon praised Jaron.

                        “I just have to know when to play the support when he gets carried away.” Vragon gave a weak smile. Jaron gave a sympathetic one in return, “You’re not the only one that thinks before he moves.”

                        Jaron looked at the scene of Ciecro versus Siegfried. His eye then trailed the gengar, sneaking through the ground to flank them.

                        “Jasmine,” Jaron requested. She nodded and quickly threw a Psycho Cut at Vex. Vex evaded.

                        “Can’t you mons just try and be stupid for me,” Vex muttered, really annoyed with the resistance.

                        “Can’t you just fight directly and not make me have to keep an eye on you,” Jaron countered with a smirk. Unamused, Vex turned his attention to Vragon again.

                        “So much trouble over you. I’m beginning to think it isn’t worth it.”

                        “I hope it isn’t,” Vragon agreed.

                        “Yeah Vragon’s not the funnest mon around,” Jaron stated, earning a scowl from the fraxure.

                        “Though it’s fun to fluster him,” Jasmine added. Vragon closed his angry eyes, took a deep breath and firmly said, “You both are the definition of delinquents.”

                        Jaron and Jasmine got in front of Vragon and readied for combat.

                        “But you like us anyway,” Jaron stated. Vragon sighed then answered with a slight smile, “Yes, yes I do.”

                        “Mind cutting the wimpy scene short,” Vex mocked as he readied two Shadow Balls. Right when he was about to fire he felt a chill in his spine. “What but I-” he said upon being identified.

                        “That’s what you get for being lazy,” Dolly said coming out of some bushes.
                        Vex gave a frown and sighed. “Oh come on.”

                        “Your fault for snoozing on the job.” Vex flinched angrily at the return of poor puns. He looked at the trio, back at the normal type Pokémon and finally to his hands.

                        “We can’t win this,” Vex snarled, “Siegfried, we’re out of here.”
                        Siegfried broke from his fight to join his all.

                        “I don’t think so,” Ciecro shouted as he lunged towards Siegfried, catching his right leg. The gallade fell on his face and turned just in time to parry a Thunderpunch. Vex fired a shadow ball to assist. Ciecro jumped away in time to evade and countered with a Flamethrower. Vex rolled out of the way and charged another Ball. To his dismay Jaron struck it with an Ice Beam. The ice covered the dark blob and froze over Vex’s hands.

                        “Now Jasmine!” Jaron exclaimed as the absol leaped up and fired a Psycho Cut right into Vex. The ghost hit the ground from the super effective move. Vex didn’t stay down for long though.

                        “You’re leaking,” Dolly said with a grin as she pointed to a slit in the gengar leaking an odd blue substance. Vex gasped and clasped the wound.

                        “Give up and I’ll patch you up,” Dolly offered, “and then you’re going to tell us why you are after little Vray.”

                        “Is everyone going to make fun of me,” Vragon groaned with a face-palm.

                        “Don’t be dragon me down little Vray.” Dolly smiled and Vragon growled.

                        “I’ll pass lady,” Vex answered with a creepy smile, “Better than the alternative.” Siegfried ran rushed towards Vex as Ciecro fired another beam of fire. Vex countered with a Shadow Ball. Siegfried pulled an orb out of his coat’s pocket and threw it at Jaron and Jasmine. Jaron hit it with an Ice Beam, but this only helped make the Luminous orb more effective. By the time the light died the two mons were gone.

                        “Dammit,” Ciecro growled as he browsed the area. After failing to see their escape path, he joined the group.

                        “Whelp that was something,” Jaron stated, “Did they catch on why they wanted you, Vray?”

                        Vragon shook his head. “All I can say is that they wanted something from my memories and maybe wanted to assess something about me. I don’t know for what though.”

                        “It’s fine buddy,” Jaron said putting his claw on Vragon’s shoulder, “But till those guys aren’t a danger you’re staying with us. Right Ciecro.”

                        Ciecro just gave an annoyed sigh. Vragon then noticed Jasmine’s had some wounds. He walked up to her and got down to see the damage to her leg.

                        “It’s not bad Vray,” Jasmine assured.

                        “If you walk on it, you might infect it unless we bandage it. Actually…” Vragon put his claw on it, causing Jasmine to wince from the pain. A small yellow light glowed for a second. Vragon removed his claw, revealing the wound sealed up.

                        “Thanks..Vray?” Jasmine said out of concern upon seeing the fraxure's eyes begin to droop.

                        Vragon began to wobble a little, But Jaron held him up.

                        “Easy there, you’re hurt a bit yourself.”

                        “Yeah,” Vragon panted, “I kinda need to sit down. Jasmine, I’ll fix it up when we get back.”

                        “I’m fine Vray, you’ve helped enough,” Jasmine declined, “Save your energy for your own healing.”

                        “You mean synergy,” Vragon corrected.

                        “Yeah, yeah I know doctor,” Jasmine teased.

                        “Can you now Vray?” Jaron asked. The fraxure got up and wobbled a little, but retained his balance.
                        Dolly took the lead while Ciecro took the back.

                        < O >

                        Vragon sat in Jaron’s room looking at his pendant. His eyes followed the metal patterns on its surface. He flipped it over and repeated the process on the back. Hmm I almost lost you. I’m glad it worked…out.

                        Vragon’s head lowered slightly as he set his treasure on the nightstand. It was then Jaron walked in. The croconaw just stared for a little, with a worried expression on his face. He finally gave a cough to announce his entrance.

                        “Oh…hi Jaron,” Vragon said without looking, still in pensive.

                        “You okay? I don’t blame you for being a little-”

                        “It’s not that Jaron,” the fraxure admitted as their eyes locked. “Jaron…the gallade in that fight asked me if I had a gift called ‘Savoir’. I don’t know what that gift is about and it from some reason it’s worrying me. Do you happen to know what that gift does?”

                        Jaron thought for a bit, then shook his head. “I don’t know of a gift like that. But it doesn’t matter. Sides your gift isn’t uncommon well whatever it is. I mean Passing Life and Synergizer are some that can heal wounds like you can.”

                        “He also talked about…Averions," The mention of this word again sent a little shiver through the fraxure. He hadn't thought much about the Averian clan, but now it was one of the top things in his mind. He began twiddling his claws as he asked, "Jaron, do you or Ciecro know anything about Averions?”

                        Jaron walked over and sat next to Vragon. For a moment the croconaw stayed quiet; His crimson eyes showing an attempt to come up with an answer. Finally, Jaron shook his head and answer, “No, not really. Never been to their lands nor met any of them. Forest upbringing, remember." Jaron gave another one of his basic grins to try and lighten the effect of another dead end for the fraxure.

                        “Yeah…” Vragon’s head sank a little dashing Jaron's attempts in preventing a drop in mood.

                        The two sat their for a few minutes not saying a single word. Finally, the croconaw was getting a little antsy and decided to change the subject. He began looking around the room, searching for a viable conversation starter. He spotted Vragon’s pendant and took it from its resting place. Vragon didn't react at all from this action nor from the water type's gazing at the detailed grooves.

                        “Tell me something Vray,” Jaron said suddenly, causing Vragon to look up at him, “You ever thought about becoming a doctor? I mean, you’ve got your gift and your already are pretty smart in that area.”

                        “Maybe," Vragon said, taking a moment to entice the idea, "but I just comprehend synergy concepts well and my gift bypasses any really complex stuff. Sides, I’m not great on big wounds.”

                        “I dunno, one day you might regenerate Pokémon’s arms back,” Jaron chuckled while Vragon rolled his eyes with little grin.

                        "Your just being puerile, Jaron," Vragon stated, giving Jaron a sceptical smile

                        “It could happen,” Jaron continued, showing the genuine in his tone, “Heh, maybe with more practice. I don’t know the complete potential of your gift, Vray, and something tells me you haven't even scratched the surface.”

                        Vragon quickly darted his gaze to the wall, trying to keep a future blush at bay. He then began to ponder something as he looked at the wall opposite him. Jaron was about to ask him if he was alright, but Vragon beat him to it. Vragon whispered,“You know Jaron…I never really thought about it.”

                        The croconaw raised a brow and guessed, “Your future?” Vragon nodded. Jaron gave one of his encouraging smiles, causing Vragon to roll his eyes again. The croconaw then raised the pendant up so that he and Vragon could look at it together.

                        “This is a pretty pendant. I remember my dad being a toughie that rarely showed his soft side. But when he did he wouldn’t fail to make me smile,” Jaron reminisced. Jaron then put the pendant into Vragon’s hands, “Vragon, I want to help you find your past and everything, but don’t forget about us here. I hate to see you bummed and worried about this stuff and well…I wanna make you feel better. You get what I mean?”

                        Vragon nodded. These words from Vragon filled him with gratitude and slight guilt. He had been focusing on his search for clues, but he never really thought about his future much.

                        “Hey Jaron…”


                        “You mind coming with me to the nearby town?”

                        “What for?”

                        “I wanna get some books on medical stuff. I think you’re right about me having to think about my future and all.”

                        “Of course I will Vragon,” Jaron replied with an even bigger smile.

                        < O >

                        “Well this is awful” Vex complained rubbing his newly bandaged cut. The two were residing in a small cave far away from the town. Siegfried stood at the entrance keeping watch.

                        “I hope we had someone decent on this assignment. Considering we failed to catch the kid, we’re going to get so chewed out.”

                        Siegfried turned around and “I want our backup just to be competent enough to help us finish, Vex.”

                        “What‽” Vex defended, “Are you going to blame me for everything‽ If you had just handled those two then we could have gotten away.”

                        Siegfried growled and Vex just rolled his eyes. The gallade was about to look out again until he noticed Vex’s expression change to surprise. Siegfried turned around only to clasp on his throat by a firm claw. The gallade began to gasp as Vex quickly got to his feet, only to be the landing cushion for Siegfried.

                        “You both are f***ing idiots,” An unrelenting voice snapped. The two looked upon their superior. A black scaled haxorus walked into the darkness, the ground crackling under his strong steps. “I have no intention of going back without our objective. You two twats will assist me.”

                        Siegfried got to his feet and informed, “They most likely will have him under protection or something.”

                        “I won’t take a risk losing a potential end to my search.” The mon said as he turned his backs towards them. He clasped his claws behind his back and peered at the crescent moon outside. “Do you fools comprehend the importance of this mission?”

                        Vex finally got up and managed to say, “We don’t get told too much, but we are after information and that kid is supposed to be linked to it.”

                        Siegfried added, “However, when I probed his memories I couldn’t find anything related to it.”

                        “That was your former mission purpose. You now will assist me in his capture.”

                        Vex gave a little cough and inquired “Um…If I may uh-”

                        “Trishula, but you will address me by ‘Sir’.”

                        “Um sir what do you mean by-”

                        “I have interests that is all. I have been informed that our thorn ‘Seliph’ was on your trail.”

                        Vex looked down in shock while Siegfried kept his stern face. Siegfried then stepped forward, leading to Trishula looking far enough back just to glimpse him out of the corner of his eye.

                        “If he’s coming then we should back off. He’s formidable and has killed many an agent of ours. If he joins them then….we’ll have no-”

                        “Silence,” Trishula scolded in a low aggressive tone. Siegfried stopped as Trishula once again looked outside, “Whatever your fate to complete this capture is of no concern. I will not risk my goals with cowards. Now you will assist or I will relieve you of your existence myself.”

                        The two grunts looked at each other. Trishula then raised his right arm in front of his view of the moon. Clenching his fist Trishula whispered, “You’re the reason for my existence, Aegis.”

                        “Aegis?” Vex whispered to Siegfried, curious about the name. Siegfried whispered back, “One of the five originals. The starters of the clans. He is the starter of the Averion’s. Remember when I mentioned if he had Savoir it would be a big break for us? Well Aegis’s gift was Savoir.” The two looked back at the haxorus, who seemed lost in deep thought. I’ll find you and then I shall complete myself from your destruction.

                        synergy (Sin-er-gee) A energy that exists in all living things that can be attributed to ones inner power. It's the foundation of a mon being able to make their moves more impactful as well as improving their abilities if one draws the synergy from others or the surrounding area. Synergy is a stable form of Primal Energy/Dragon Force and therefore can be used by all mons without it affecting their mental states. Synergy is also found upper crust of the earth, plants, special items and large solidified crystals. Some of these crystals can created into mega stones, Z-Crystals, Emeras and other items.

                        Passing Life A clan gift in the area of healing/support. The gift itself is relative to Synergy Transfer. This gift enables a person to give or receive synergy upon physical contact the with object. However, this can be interfered with basic synergy disruption and it's ability and effect depends on the experience and skill of the gift holder.

                        Synergizer (Sin-er-jai-zur) A clan gift in the area of healing/support. The gift itself is relative to Synergy effectivity. One being able to use the energy in oneself to boost their abilities as well as moves power. This draws from the gift holder's own synergy and is seen as a glass canon mostly.

                        Trishula (Trish-oo-lah)
                        Old January 10th, 2018 (1:41 PM). Edited January 10th, 2018 by Cavespider_17.
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                        Cavespider_17 Cavespider_17 is offline
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                          -> I have already grammar checked this for you and highlighted errors I found.

                          -> Overall the plot is very interesting. Also this is where the Gallade is. I like the somewhat thug-like characters generically as they are quite distinct with their own personalities.

                          -> Good research on abilities

                          -> Good use of interrorbangs.

                          -> Hopefully you can build on what you have so far. I know you took a break from this one to work on your other work. I find the plot of this one very slightly harder to follow. I often forget what Pokemon who is. It might be worth having a bit of a refresher in regard to characters seeing as some characters disappear into the background without much mention, but rejoin the action in a slightly abrupt manner.

                          Keep it up :D
                          "Even the sturdiest ship can sink if it is built with ignorance" - Aaron Piscar (Fictional Character)
                          Read the Fiction, Play the Game
                          Old January 10th, 2018 (6:09 PM).
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                          Bay Bay is offline
                          Darkinium Z
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                          All right, so I'm going to talk about the puns first off. While Dolly's puns there are fun and tells us her sense of humor, I feel like bolding the puns gives it too much attention. Like it seems you're going, "hey here's a pun, it's funny!" If you still want to emphasize the puns, maybe italics would work better, but I prefer the puns run its course and not bold/italicize those. You'll already get Dolly saying puns by the reactions from the other characters.

                          “You’re welcome,” Jaron answered, staying in his teasing tone at lighthearted smile. “Though yeah you’re right Vray. Jasmine, stay with Vragon, let me and Ciecro handle this,” Jaron ordered.
                          Bolded part sounds awkward. Maybe, "staying in his teasing tone with a lighthearted smile. Actually, I think "Jaron answered with a lighthearted smile" sounds better since "teasing tone" and "lighthearted smile" sounds the same.

                          “Whelp that was something,” Jaron stated, “Did they catch on why they wanted you, Vray?” Vragon shook his head. “All I can say is that they wanted something from my memories and maybe wanted to assess something about me. I don’t know for what though.”
                          I still see a couple occasions where you had two Pokemon's dialogue in same paragraph.

                          I admit I had to refresh myself a bit on Dolly, Ciecro, and Jaron since it felt like it's been a while since they appeared. Seems like a decent wrapup to the battle with Siegfried and Vex there.

                          “You okay? I don’t blame you for being a little-”

                          “It’s not that Jaron,” the fraxure admitted. He looked at his friends crimson eyes with his topaz ones. “Jaron…the gallade in that fight asked me if I had a gift called ‘Savoir’. I don’t know what that gift is about and it from some reason it’s worrying me. Do you happen to know what that gift does?”

                          Jaron thought for a bit, then shook his head. “I don’t know of a gift like that. But it doesn’t matter. Sides your gift isn’t uncommon. I mean Passing Life and Synergizer are some that can heal wounds like you can.”

                          “He also talked about…Averions. Jaron, do you or Ciecro know anything about Averions?”

                          “No, not really. Never been to their lands nor met any of them. Forest upbringing, remember.

                          “Yeah…” Vragon’s head sank a little. Jaron picked up Vragon’s pendant from its resting place and began looking at it. He looked at the detailed grooves and words that Vragon had tried to decipher many times.
                          First point is I feel it's kinda weird describing "crimson eyes with his topaz ones." Usually "Their gazes fixed" works fine. Second point is I feel when Vragon mentions about Averions to Jaron that there should be a bit more reaction/body language from both.

                          As for the last scene, I think this is the first time Trishula is introduced here. Wonder what role he'll play here.

                          "Meowth are all right. They don't care who you are or anything."
                          Foul Play [Chapter Four up!]
                          Old January 17th, 2018 (6:48 AM).
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                          Venia Silente Venia Silente is offline
                          Worrisome, but also Charming
                          Join Date: Oct 2008
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                          So, letting you know I am catching up on the earlier chapters, basically still reading the last of the stuff with the then young and hopefully cute Seliph & co., since back then I had done some proofreading for that.

                          I admittedly have to say I am not grasping enough of the story yet but the character interactions more than make up for it. Barring some issues in portraying the characters that stem from more subjacent issues in the general writing that I'm sure other reviewers must have pointed out at given points in the past -boy am I delayed for this- the characters look solid, not one-dimensional, and in general very identifiable.

                          The relationship between Jaron and Seliph is well delineated, Freya and Gathor's only somewhat less so, and it is in general very easy to see when they might be stretching or pushing out of their bounds.

                          Well, I'm basically staying around and catching up over time because of the characters. Maybe I can eventually understand more of the story to enjoy a reread, too. So, I hope this story will carry on.
                          Venia Silente' - Consulting Worldbuilder
                          Image will go here...
                          one day.

                          The Suocéverse - Pokémon Stuff

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                          Old January 28th, 2018 (11:17 PM). Edited February 11th, 2018 by Vragon.
                            Posts: n/a
                            Language, Alcohol reference, & crude humor
                            Chapter 15
                            A Short Trip

                            “You sure you don’t need me to come?” Jasmine asked Jaron and Vragon. They were at the edge of the road leading out of town.

                            “Thanks Jasmine, but Vragon and I will be fine.” Jaron replied with a smile.

                            “You haven’t forgotten about what happened last night have you?” She replied with a mix of concern and scepticism. Vragon answered with,

                            “No we haven’t, so we have someone to accompany us. We’re waiting for her.”

                            Jasmine’s eyes widened upon having a thought, “Don’t tell me it’s-”

                            “That was fast Jasmine. What are you? Psychic.” Dolly’s voice asked from behind the absol. Jasmine frowned with annoyance, refusing to turn around.

                            “Are you serious Vragon?”

                            Vragon gestured a "no" and gave a little point to Jaron, who was giving his gator smile.

                            “Jaron, you can’t just go by yourselves. At least take Ciecro with you,” Jasmine protested.

                            “Jaz, we’ll be fine. The route is about a two hour stroll and it’s daytime,” Jasmine wasn’t convinced. Jaron sighed, leaned in closer, pointed to his arm sack and whispered, “I have one communication orb for each of us, three chesto berries for sleep status, two all-Mach orbs for instant move critical ups, some sitrus berries, two blast seeds, one grenade orb-“

                            “Okay, I get it. You’re prepared,” Jasmine shouted in the middle of Jaron’s listing.

                            “Look Jasmine, I’d bring you along, but I need you to do something else.” Jasmine gave a surprised look. Jaron looked Vragon, who gave a sigh and shook his head. Jaron then said to Jasmine, “I kinda need you to do my job while I’m gone. You’re fine with that right?”

                            All the anticipation from Jasmine died in that instant. She gritted her teeth underneath a “It’s fine”. She turned around and gave a “Fine, just hurry up,” and walked away.

                            “Yeah she’s mad,” Vragon stated giving Jaron a leer.

                            “It’ll be fine Vragon, she’s Jasmine and she always thinks that I’m inconsiderate.”

                            “And that’s a good thing?” Dolly asked, not quite getting it.

                            “Not really, but if she’s willing to be friends with Ciecro, then I’m pretty sure she’s fine with me.”

                            “I question your logic on that, but I suppose she does have a reason, if not out of sympathy.” Vragon added, “I mean why else would she hang around with you?”

                            “I dunno, why do you hang out with me?” Jaron responded arrogantly.

                            “Well um..not the point.”

                            “What’s wrong Vray? Don’t have an answer?”

                            “N-no it’s not that I just…well.. I need to think of how to say it… wait no! This is about you and your-”

                            “Say what Vray? You know, you’re kinda acting a little, flustered. Is that blush I see.” Jaron joked, with a lie at the end.

                            “What‽” Vragon screamed, “No I’m not b-b-b-b-blushing for that. I mean it’s just flusterednessishy stuff you know. Kinda like-”

                            “It’s fine Vray. I like you too.” This sent Vragon reeling back with redness covering his grey cheeks. Jaron laughed, giving the fraxure a pat on his back, “I’m just messin’ with you Vray.”

                            “Yeah..well … let me know next time when you’re being stupid so I don’t have to play a part in your...stupidity,” Vragon countered in frustration. The fraxure stormed a little ways away and crossed his arms. It was that moment that Dolly smacked Jaron on the shoulder. Jaron winced from the pain and demanded a reason. She didn’t answer, but walked over to Vragon, grabbed his head and twisted him around.

                            “Dolly what are yo-?” She pulled him over right next to Jaron. She then put her hand on his head and twisted them to look at her.

                            “Now pay attention.”

                            The two’s expressions were a mix of surprise and fear. They awaited for whatever she had in store for them. She took a breath and with a deeper voice said, “We gonna head out or what?”

                            “Aww Dolly!” the two shouted in unison, pulling her hands off her head. Dolly began laughing while the two sulked at falling for that dirty scare.

                            “You know, on second thought, maybe we shouldn’t have brought her,” Jaron said. Vragon looked and said,

                            “It’s not too late to return the buffoon.”

                            “Come on guys I’m just joking,” Dolly stated putting her arms on the sour mon’s shoulders, “You know me. I tend to break the mold when it comes to kangaskhans.”

                            “Wow, real cool,” Jaron muttered in an unimpressed voice, “It’s funny cause Vragon has that ability. Mold Breaker heh …. heh.”

                            “Respect Dolly,” Vragon added with his own sarcasm, “that was both witty and original. I’m sure it’ll be a treat to have you with us on trip.”

                            “Oh come on guys don’t be sore. I’m just messing with you.”

                            “Oh neat,” Vragon said while rolling his eyes, “You’re taking logic lessons from Jaron.”

                            “And apparently bad at telling jokes class from Vragon,” Jaron countered. The fraxure and croconaw locked heads, staring angrily into each other’s eyes. Dolly just stood there concerned as the two kept their eyes locked. After about two minutes, Jaron gave an angry smirk. Vragon tried to keep his scowl, but gave up and backed away.

                            “Hah, you can’t resist my adorable grin,” Jaron boasted in his trivial victory.

                            “Heh...maybe just out of sympathy.”

                            “You jerk,” Jaron said in a playful tone as he head locked the fraxure. The two began laughing. Jaron left his prisoner out and Vragon rolled his neck till it cracked.

                            “Though yeah Jaron…you should do something for her. I mean, she isn’t a wimp like me.”

                            “You’re not a wimp,” Dolly protested, “You’re just a kid that’s still finding himse-” She stopped upon receiving a murderous stare from Vragon. She returned a grin.

                            “I’ll definitely make things up to her. But for now, we should head out. The town’s not gonna meet us halfway after all,” Jaron announced, as he swung the travel bag over his shoulder and began walking. Dolly and Vragon followed after him. Soon the town was but barely visible as the three continued on the dirt road. After a while of silence Dolly gave a big yawn.

                            “Say, either of you hungry?” Dolly asked.

                            “A little break wouldn’t hurt I guess,” Jaron agreed, “You Vragon?”

                            “Uh..yeah.” was the dragon's reply. Despite the answer, Jaron could tell Vragon wasn't focused on his question.

                            He squinted his eyes, scooched closer to the lost in thought fraxure and said in a mischievous tone, “And while we're at it do you wanna get some strong berry juice at some local place? Be a nice way to lose your problems, eh.”

                            “Yeah sure Jar- wait …. But we aren’t spending the night there...and what do you mean by some 'local place'? We aren't going to the town to get waste-” Vragon stopped upon seeing Jaron's classic grin. He was, once again, being messed with. Vragon gave an annoyed sigh.

                            “So what are yah thinking about, buddy?” Jaron responded.

                            “About which books I should get.” Vragon answered, returning to his pondering stance.

                            Jaron’s eyelids drooped and he said, “Aren’t we a bit far to think of that?”

                            Vragon apologized, “I guess I’m just anxious. Yeah, a little rest wouldn’t hurt.”

                            “Then it’s settled,” Dolly declared, “good thing I made some food for us.” She reached into her travel shoulder bag and pulled out some dry berries and some moomoo milk filled bottles.

                            The three sat down and started to get their trip snacks out. Dolly ripped into her berries, Vragon took his time to savor it and Jaron ate slowly. He was keeping his eyes on the forest edge, carefully moving his gaze along its border. I hope this is a good idea. But then again it was mine, so I better do my best to make sure it works.

                            < O >

                            Jasmine gave an annoyed growl as she gazed upon all the paperwork she had just finished. She slouched on the ground mumbling, “Why do I put up with them? Then again, if it’s for Vragon doing something and Jaron to get out then I guess it’s fine. Well at least not scratching worthy.”

                            “Hey uh Jasmine,” a fellow ranger walked in, “uh you know where Ciecro is?”

                            Jasmine lifted her head from the floor and said, “No I don’t…why?”

                            “Well um…we can’t find him.”

                            Jasmine immediately hopped to here feet. She demanded information, now. The frightened ranger explained that Ciecro hadn’t been seen for a while.

                            “Dang it now I’ve gotta find him before I do his work,” She grumbled brushing past the guy. She stormed through the building and made her way outside.

                            “Why did he have to go and do whatever he does when he leaves?” She mumbled to herself, making her way down the road. She was too busy scowling at the ground to see that she had walked into an alley. It didn’t take her long to run into someone there. She stuttered a little, but managed to avoid falling unlike the other Pokémon.

                            “Oh my, I’m sorry sir are you okay?” Jasmine inquired as she hastened to help the Pokémon.

                            “I’ll live thankfully” he assured her, “though I hope this isn’t a normal practice in your town, heh. Because I suffer from being too focused on things up in my head than my current positioning in my walk.”

                            The two shared a short laugh and Jasmine replied with a, “Don’t worry it isn’t. Oh are you a visitor to our town?”

                            “Yes I am. Dang I’m a bit dirty.”

                            While the stranger was busy brushing himself off, Jasmine was busy taking in the view of this mon. He was a fit yet slim greninja, who appeared to be a few years older than herself. He wore a thin, blue vest with few tears in it. He wore a belt with a few sachets on it.

                            “Is there something you need miss?” The greninja asked, snapping her out of her staring.

                            “Oh sorry about that sir. No, I’m fine, I need to hurry and find someone,”

                            “Pardon me real quick,” the water type intervened, “Is it alright if I ask you a question?” Jasmine stopped and gave a nod.

                            “Don’t worry, just information. I’m looking for two mons, a gallade and gengar, have you seen them? If it helps, they both have red eyes.”

                            Her eyes froze; she leaped back and readied to fight. The stranger didn’t flinch at all to this, but did change his expression to serious. “So you have seen them,” he answered for her, “I’m not with them. I’m after them. I ask you answer me, time is of the essence.”

                            “How about you prove it.” Jasmine demanded.

                            The mon nodded and reached into his vest slowly. Suddenly he spun around and threw a little ball at her. She quickly sliced it. “Good reflexes,” the stranger’s voice spoke from behind her. She turned around to see the greninja holding a night slash blade at her head. “I implore you to tell me where and when you saw them. They are very dangerous.”

                            Jasmine calmed her nerves and obeyed the stranger. “They attacked us last night and well vanished before we could catch them.”


                            “ and my friends,” the stranger disintegrated the blade and raised his hand to his chin. He began mumbling some gibberish. Jasmine turned around and angrily said, “What is your deal‽”

                            “Do you know why they attacked you?”

                            “They were after one of my friends.”

                            “I see…where is this friend?”

                            “Like I’d tell-” the water type moved his face right in front of hers and gave a fierce stare. “If you value that friend of yours I suggest you take me to him. If they are indeed after him, they won’t stop because of one loss to a bunch of locals.”

                            Jasmine thought for a second and finally nodded. She gestured with her head for him to follow and began galloping away. The greninja followed closely. “I apologize for intimidating you, I don’t really have too much time.” Jasmine just gave a grunt. Trying to make amends, the stranger asked, “Um, might I ask you for your name?”

                            “Only if you tell me yours.”

                            “Um…my name…is well…not important right now. What is right now is your friends.”
                            Jasmine nodded, but added, “I’ll keep my eye on you.”

                            “Of course,” He replied as they picked up the pace.

                            < O >

                            “Well this is new,” Dolly said staring at Jaron’s weird walking, being odd twists and occasional twirls.
                            Vragon joined Dolly in saying, “Jaron? What are you doing?”

                            “Oh, I’m just getting that feeling.”

                            “Elaborate,” Vragon pressed.

                            “My gift is acting up. You know, Wary,” Jaron suddenly turned around. He then walked past the two and stared into the trees again.

                            “I wish I could see deeper or something.”

                            “So, you think they are nearby?” Dolly whispered, moving a little closer to Vragon.

                            “Either they recovered fast or they can’t afford to let us leave,” Jaron muttered, “I was hoping this wouldn’t happen, but … stay close both of you.”

                            Jaron took a few steps away from them and shouted, “Hey b****es, how’s the hiding going‽” Both Vragon and Dolly’s jaws dropped. Jaron looked around a little, then shouted again, “You wanna piece of us, cos we’re going to beat you up again!”

                            “What’s he doing?” Dolly whispered to Vragon, who shrugged just as clueless.

                            Jaron then shouted, “I know you’re there idiots!” Vragon face palmed, and Dolly walked up to try and get Jaron to stop. Suddenly Jaron spun around and fired an ice beam at an incoming shadow ball. He leaped past Dolly to fire a follow up scald, trying to hit an evading blob on the ground.

                            “My, aren’t we perceptive and attention seeking,” Vex declared as he leaped-phased from the ground.

                            “You should’ve stayed hidden. Did I strike a nerve?” Jaron taunted.

                            “You struck nothing, but a low in my interest. Thankfully I’m not asking for a beating like you are.”

                            “I don’t see why you’re so confident after all,” Siegfried said as he walked out from the forest, “You don’t have your numbers like before.”

                            He crossed his arms as Vex joined up with him. Siegfried then gave Vex an angry stare, to which Vex gave a shrug with a carefree smile. Siegfried extended his arm blades and vex opened his mouth, letting his tongue ooze saliva. Vragon shuddered, Dolly gave a “really?” look and Jaron just kept his mocking smile.

                            “You’re not nearly as scary as my brother. Speaking of which-”

                            The two grunts gave confused looks, before a flamethrower struck Vex in the face. Vex cursed from the
                            pain of the singing move, but stopped when Ciecro’s foot shoved him into the dirt.

                            “My bro is right,” Ciecro snarled, keeping the gengar’s face in the dirt, “I’m way scarier than yah two could eveh be.”

                            Siegfried was about to attack, but was stopped by an orb thrown by Jaron. It gave a small explosion, releasing a net. It ensnared the galllade, the momentum sending him rolling a few feet away. He tried to cut himself out, but the net gave its prisoner a nasty shock.

                            “I call it the Electronet orb,” Jaron said, tossing an orb in his hand, “a little thing I made myself.”

                            “Oh yeah, I forgot you liked dabbling in making stuff,” Vragon mentioned as he and Dolly joined the croconaw.

                            Dolly smiled and said “Good thing your plan worked, Jaron.”

                            “W-what plan?” Vex demanded, struggling to get up. However, he was forced back into the ground by Ciecro’s foot.

                            “Can it punk.”

                            Jaron walked over to the gallade and said, “I figured it would be better nabbing the two of you instead of trying to stay safe while you both roam free. So I devised a little plan for me, Dolly and Vragon to head out and play bait while Ciecro was hunting you.”

                            “How did he hide from us?” Siegfried shouted, continuing to struggle.

                            “Let’s just say, he knows how to control his light rather well,” Jaron said as he winked at his brother, who responded with a growling sigh, “and he kinda had a cloaking orb.”

                            “Now I think it’s time for some answers,” Ciecro snapped, putting more pressure on the gengar’s back, “Like who you both are, why you both are here for Vragon and your ties to the red eyes. Answer us and maybe I won’t break you.”

                            Ciecro was suddenly struck in the face by a powerful fist slap sending him flying a ways away. He rolled a ways, before finally stopping himself.

                            “Bro!” Jaron shouted as he rushed to help the charmander. He helped him up and said, “Are you injured?”

                            Ciecro just gritted his teeth and grumbled, “I’m going to kick the ass of whatever son of a b**** did that. Vragon! Dolly! Regroup!”

                            The two didn’t hesitate to join the brothers. The group watched as a tall, black scaled haxorus step out of the trees. He looked down at Vex and ordered, “Get your associate on his feet.”

                            He walked forward while Vex released Siegfried with a shadow claw. The haxorus gazed at the group, moving his eyes from one to the next. His eyes finally fell on Vragon’s Averion crest.

                            “So you must be the candidate,” The dragon stated in a cold tone.

                            “Candidate?” Vragon repeated, perplexed.

                            “For now, you are one. I require you to come with me, consenting or not.”

                            He started moving towards the group. Ciecro fired a flamethrower as a warning shot, straight into the fierce dragon.

                            “Strong despite the weakened typing,” Trishula answered, strolling out of the remnants of the fire, “But a child’s fire is still merely a spark on a solid steel.”

                            “I take it you’re the boss,” Jaron deduced out loud, “in that case.”

                            He fired an Ice Beam at the Pokémon. Trishula quickly blocked it with his arm. His arm was covered in ice. His stare remained firm as he struck it against his chest, shattering the ice off his arm.

                            Ciecro stepped forward, unflinching. He let out a roar as he formed Dragon Claw with his left hand and Thunder Punch with his right. Trishula raised a brow at this, unimpressed. Ciecro instructed Jaron to give a follow up, before charging the haxorus.

                            “Time to break your jaw!” he shouted, jabbing with the Thunderpunch. Trishula caught it. Ciecro then swiped with his other move, only for it to be stopped by Siegfried’s Psycho Cut arm. Trishula then gave Ciecro a firm hit with his head. Ciecro fell on his bum and was kicked firmly in the chest. He was knocked back to the group. Jaron fired another Ice Beam to slow Trishula’s progress, but it was canceled out by Vex’s Shadow Ball.

                            “Dammit,” Ciecro growled, trying to get back on his feet despite his hurting ribs. Suddenly he felt a surge of energy in him. He looked up to see Vragon’s claws on his shoulder.

                            “I’m fine Vray,” he snapped, “Save your energy for the fight in-case we need you. Stay with Dolly while me and Jaron deal with this prick.” Vragon nodded and backed on over to the kangaskhan.

                            Trishula then rushed towards them. Jaron threw a blast seed, forcing Trishula to block the blast. Jaron then fired another Ice Beam trough the smoke. Trishula sliced the beam apart, but was struck by Ciecro, leaping from the smoke. The haxorus staggered a little, before regaining his balance.

                            “Hurts, don’t it? Ciecro said, giving a mean grin. His arrogant turned to another scowl as the Haxorus merely cracked his neck.

                            The dark dragon stated in a condescending tone, “If you want to get in my way, then at least try to be an obstacle, otherwise I demand your departure from matters that don’t concern you.”

                            Ciecro’s anger got the better as he lunged with another Dragon Claw. Trishula was too fast though and a firm smack from his fist set Ciecro flying a few yards. Trishula started a follow up attack, but was struck in the face by Jaron’s Ice Beam. He tore the ice off his face, while Jaron covered Ciecro.

                            “We might have to strat, brother,” Jaron suggested, his tone changed to pretty serious. Ciecro nodded as he wiped the dirt off his cheek. They got side by side, Jaron taking a low stance while Ciecro took an aggressive straightened. Trishula eyed the two curious about what they would do, but not caring to actually figure it out.

                            Meanwhile Dolly and Vragon were dealing with the two grunts. Siegfried sent a Psycho Cut straight at the two. Dolly moved her arm to block the move from hitting Vragon, who fired a Dragon Breath at the attacker. Siegfried dodged with a back hand spring. Vex took the opportunity to attempt a flank.
                            However, Dolly noticed and tried to use foresight, but Siegfried did another Psycho Cut to distract her.

                            “Vragon cover!” She shouted to the fraxure, who got between the gallade and Dolly. Vragon activated Dragon Claw and stood right behind Dolly, waiting for another attack. Siegfried slightly nodded his head, signaling the ghost for a joint attack. They both fired their range moves.

                            “Get down!” Dolly shouted and the fraxure obeyed. Vragon hit the ground and covered his head, as Dolly dizzy punched the psycho cut and let the shadow ball pass through her. Siegfried evaded the move, spun with the moment and threw another Psycho Cut at the two. Vragon gave an upper slice with Dragon Claw, deflecting the move into the air. Vragon and Dolly returned to defending each other's backs.

                            Ciecro and Jaron were also struggling in their team up fight against the red eyed leader. Despite their best efforts Trishula was easily able to count Ciecro’s Flamethrower or Jaron’s Ice Beam.

                            “This isn’t working!” Ciecro shouted as he dodge a slice from his tall opponent.

                            “Try this,” Jaron called out, throwing an all-Mach orb to his brother. Ciecro reached out to grab it, but it was caught mid-flight by Trishula. The two froze as the dragon pulled the orb closer and looked at it with squinting eyes.

                            “Resourceful children, I’ll give you that,” He stated crushing the orb. He spread his arms and puffed out his chest. He then opened his mouth and began to inhale.

                            “Jaron! Get back!” Ciecro shouted, warning Jaron of an incoming move. Jaron leaped up in the air right when the dragon fired Incinerate. The fire move surged in a straight line, burning the grass it traveled over. Jaron threw an orb at the mon. It blasted out an Electronet that covered the haxorus. Trishula merely sliced his way out with one Dragon Claw swipe, ignoring the net's shocks.

                            “Dammit, not even that,” Jaron snarled. He looked to see how the others were doing; He noticed they were having difficulty in fighting the opened due to the ranged moves the grunts kept throwing at the two.

                            Jaron decided they needed a new plan. Take them out one by one, “Ciecro, change targets. Let’s take them out first,” The charmander nodded and they rushed to help. Jaron forced Vex back with a Scald, while Ciecro locked moves with Siegfried. Trishula ran after them.

                            “Dolly, catch!” Jaron shouted, throwing a heal seed at her. She got the message. She lunged to meet the haxorus and unleashed a barrage of jabs and kicks. He parried as best as he could, but finally was out sped by the aggressive Dolly. He staggered a little giving Dolly more jabs and kicks onto the dragon’s body. After about a minute of pummeling, Dolly finally grabbed the Pokémon by his cheek blades and threw him deep into the trees. Dolly let out a fierce roar. She could feel the confusion starting to take over and quickly ate the heal seed. She let out a calming sigh, feeling the status ailment dying out.

                            “What the? I didn’t know you knew-” Vragon began. Dolly just smiled and interrupted with,

                            “Sorry you had to see me when I’m outraged.”

                            Vragon growled and Dolly smirked. Vragon turned around to help Jaron, while Dolly helped Ciecro. The group of four forced their way past the two and drove the enemies to the forest’s edge.

                            “Are you lot done?” Trishula growled as he stepped out of the trees. He tensed his muscles and crossed his arms. He swung them apart, sending a fast wind that brushed the group slightly.

                            Jaron gave Ciecro a grin. “Hey, let’s Dual slice him with these bro,” he whispered, revealing two quick orbs in his claw. Ciecro took one and clenched it in his fist.

                            “Dolly, Vragon, clear us a path,” Ciecro ordered as he and Jaron activated the orbs. A surge of blue aura covered them and entered their bodies.

                            “Dang, that feels good,” Jaron said with enjoyment in his voice, as the effects of the orb surged through his body, exciting his nerves. Once done, Jaron rolled his head with an content smiled on his face. Ciecro then gave Jaron a wink and moved his tongue over the back of his mouth. Jaron’s eyes dropped halfway and muttered, “Please bro.”

                            "You're the one that moaned from the satisfaction," Ciecro joked. Regaining their focus, The two finally turned to face their opponent again. They rushed towards the haxorus, zig zagging past each other forming large X’s in their paths. Vragon and Dolly used Dragon Breath and Focus Blast to force the minions away.

                            When the two were only a few feet away, they both sliced at the dragon in unison. Trishula blocked their swipes, but was sent back a little from the force. Trishula slowly lowered his arms from their blocking positions and clenched his claws.

                            “He’s starting to piss me off,” Ciecro grumbled.

                            “How do we beat this guy?” Jaron wheezed.

                            “You don’t nimrods,” Trishula mocked as he thrust his right fist into the ground, causing Earthquake. Jaron and Ciecro were sent a ways from the rupturing ground. They managed to break their falls with a roll and hastily got back to their feet.

                            “Look out!” Vragon shouted, deflecting a Shadow Ball from hitting Jaron. Dolly rushed over to cover Ciecro. They were again surrounded, Vex and Siegfried on the sides and Trishula straight in front. He strode towards the spent group, keeping a strong but composed stride. Suddenly he stopped upon seeing something behind them. He raised his arms in protection just in time to tank a Psycho Cut aimed for his face.

                            Everyone went silent for a second. “Jasmine?” Jaron said to himself and began to turn around. Before he did a flash of blue flew past him. It struck Trishula with a stronger force than the move prior. Tishula was pushed a few feet away, carving into the ground as he slid.

                            Jaron then noticed some water was on his cheek. “Wait how did that happen? I thought it looked like a water shuri-” Jaron said out loud, but stopped. Ciecro had noticed the water on his own cheek too. They both slowly turned their and eyes widened with surprised, upon seeing him … Seliph.

                            Wary - A gift more common with Norfarion Pokémon. It tenses the Pokémon's instinctive awareness to be able to sense danger nearby or incoming. It is based on the user's mental concentration of observance, but becomes easier to use as the Pokémon gets older.
                            Old January 29th, 2018 (3:57 PM).
                            Cavespider_17's Avatar
                            Cavespider_17 Cavespider_17 is offline
                              Join Date: May 2017
                              Location: U.K or D.K depending on where you politically stand.
                              Gender: Female
                              Nature: Serious
                              Posts: 60
                              ֎I have already grammar checked this so I won't make any new, unneeded grammar notes.

                              ֎ Generally, I am liking where this is going. There are a lot of character traits, such as Jaron's and Vragon's which are definitely coming to light. You composed the clashing of characteristics very well.
                              ֎ Further point on characteristics, I would like to give a special note to the portrayal of the two's apparent secret irritation at Dolly, who would probably anger most people with the puns.
                              ֎ I like Siegfried's character most of all, I find him subtle and clever, but also arrogant, which seems to not only fit his Pokemon's design, but also creates an understandable villain.
                              ֎ Overall, I can't wait to see where the plot advances to next. :) I hope that Vragon is able to get to where he needs to be, and the boss fight hopefully will end up in a super interesting scenario, in which the characters will have to get themselves out of.
                              "Even the sturdiest ship can sink if it is built with ignorance" - Aaron Piscar (Fictional Character)
                              Read the Fiction, Play the Game
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