[Poetry] Epic Pokemon Rap Battles!

Hello, I'm NumberOnett, and I'm number one!

I'm big into rap battles, so I decided to make my own. Enjoy.
(Credit to ERBoH, because they were the root of all rap battles.)

EPIC POKEMON RAP BATTLES!
PLUSLE AND MINUN!
VS
THE PICHU BROTHERS!
BEGIN!

Plusle: We're the tag team from Gen 3, you only appeared in the shorts
Minun: We'll Helping Hand a Thunder to you and your cohorts
Plusle: The fuss you made over Meowth's party was questionable at best
Minun: It was clearly a trick, how could you not have guessed
Plusle: In Melee, your own attacks damaged you
Minun: No reason to be on the roster when there was Pikachu
Plusle: We're the greatest tag team, and we're here to stay
Both: We'll beat these little weaklings any day!

Pichu Big: We might have been useless in SSB
Pichu Little: But you didn't even appear, are you kidding me
Pichu Big: You started the trend of Pikachu clones
Pichu Little: How about you just go back to your little island home
Pichu Big: Our evolved form owns the entire franchise
Pichu Little: We'll use a Thunder Shock to finish both of you guys
Pichu Big: IGN said it about your remakes, and we'll say it again
Both: Your raps get a 7.8 out of 10!

Plusle: Stop it before I Discharge your- er, tail
Minun: You're from a disliked region, in comparison to us you pale
Plusle: Nobody likes you, or any baby Pokemon
Minun: Your only purpose is to be cute, come on
Plusle: You got awful stats, we don't need to evolve
Minun: Go on, try your Thunder Shock, see what it will solve
Plusle: Become a Pikachu, and then take LT Surge's advice
Both: Find a Thunder Stone, and then try us for a fight!

Pichu Big: You're like Kirby in Melee, you place below even us
Pichu Little: You don't stand a chance, I don't understand the fuss
Pichu Big: If you two are apart, we might as well call it a game
Pichu Little: But we will destroy you all the same
Pichu Big: We might seem weak at first glance
Pichu Little: But a Cheri Berry is needed to stand a chance
Pichu Big: Our finishing line, saved the best for last
Both: We'll launch you past the blast line, break you like glass!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF POKEMON!

EPIC POKEMON RAP BATTLES!
BLAZIKEN!
VS
EMBOAR!
BEGIN!

Blaziken: It's the Uber tiered starter versus a giant pig
Everything about you is mediocre, so don't talk big
Wasn't I the one who got the Mega Evolution?
I'll Blaze Kick your behind, I don't need a Substitution
Nobody ever chose you over the weird looking otter
I'm in every way Serperior, so don't even bother
Even discounting Smogon, you don't stand a chance
I'll Bulldoze you to your demise after I use a Swords Dance

Emboar: Pull the tiers card once people actually care
What's the worst you can do? Hit me with an Ember?
Everyone likes Mudkips, you're the Bulbasaur of Gen 3
Even as a Mega, you'll never beat me
You've got my Assurance, you'll be Scalded and burned
I've got the Earthquake, hopefully you have learned
Not to mess with the greatest of the fifth gen
Why would I be scared of a little hen?

Blaziken: I leap over buildings, you fight with a fire beard
I'll leave you blackened, scorched, and seared
Don't mess with this Blaze Pokemon ever again, ya hear?!
I'll hit ya with a Brave Bird in case that wasn't clear

Emboar: Hiding behind your tier, huh? I see how it is
I'll knock you to NU with a Flare Blitz
I'm rocking Giga Impact, don't you try Acrobatics
You'll get Rock Smashed after I take your Double Kick

Infernape: QUIT IT! It's clear that I am the best
U should Turn away before I put you to Rest
I got the Close Combat, I'm going infernal
It's too late to run, I'm gonna Mach Punch ya
Representing Sinnoh, under the ownership of Ash
I'll finish Emboar before he can try his Heat Crash
And you Blaziken, since you truly fail
Nobody likes you! Ubers my tail!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF POKEMON!

I'll admit I don't know too much about poetry or rap, but what I read is enjoyable overall!

The first one is pretty cute and the IGN reference is amusing.The last few lines though doesn't feel like an amazing comeback to me (can't explain why). Also:

Minun: You're from a disliked region, in comparison to us you pale

Click to expand...

While I do get epic rap battles are to make remarks like that, I actually think Johto is a very popular region. I have several friends whose favorite games are GSC and the remakes. Hoenn seems to be the one pretty unpopular until ORAS came around.

As for the second one, I do like you have the Pokemon moves as comebacks there. And Infenape joining in last minute was fun! One thing I kind of fear is not everyone is into competitive battling, so there might be a few references some readers won't get.

I can't help but feel what's missing is the performance. What makes Epic Rap Battles exciting is the combination of the fast lyrics, performance from the rappers, and the music. I can understand doing a full blown YouTube video of a Pokemon version of Epic Rap battles will take a lot of work and will need several more people to make that happen. The lyrics you posted are not bad and a good effort overall! If you plan to post more, looking forward to them!

Thanks!

I always felt Johto was unpopular. I don't know. I probably felt that subconsiously because my brother strongly dislikes that region, and I've seen quite a few others who don't like it either. Eh, I'm weird.

I Loved, it hope you'll do more, I know it might be hard rhyming Pokemon, but keep up the good work

Blaziken totally won all the rounds. Even the ones he wasn't in haha. It's a clever idea and, I for one, don't really think you need the music or added performance to enjoy a good....burn

Who's next?
Clefairy......versus......GENGAR!