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Old December 4th, 2016 (1:24 PM). Edited December 22nd, 2016 by Bay Alexison.
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Bay Alexison Bay Alexison is online now
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This is based around the Sun/Moon game's ending, so if you don't want to be spoiled by some of the major plot points I highly recommend finishing or watch a playthrough the game's main storyline first. Much longer commentary after the story. Thanks to bobandbill for the great betaing!

xxx

Light snow fell over Mount Lanakila, cloaking the ground in white puffs. The chilly breeze cut through Kukui’s face and warm clothes, but he grinned. In front of him, his Lycanroc crouched down and growled at his opponent, an Absol. Both Pokémon panted and stared at one another, dirt and scratches all over their fur.

“Alright Lycanroc, go for another Accelerock!”

Lycanroc launched himself at Absol, his body smashing onto her. Absol howled and dropped on the ground, then picked herself up and shook the snow off her fur. Kukui pumped his fist in the air.

“Yeah, that’s it! Let’s heat things up with Fire Fang, now!”

Lycanroc’s teeth crackled with flames. He began rushing at her, and the scythe on Absol’s forehead glowed a crimson aura. She swung her scythe, only for Lycanroc to bite down on it. He let go, then crunched Absol’s leg and scorched it. Screaming in pain, Absol shook her leg to force Lycanroc to back away.

Kukui ordered his Lycanroc to finish off the battle with Stone Edge, and Lycanroc slammed his paws on the ground. Sharp rock pillars appeared beneath Absol, stabbing her on the stomach. Once the rock pillars disappeared, Absol collapsed on the ground.

“Excellent work there, Lycanroc!” Kukui said, offering his Pokémon a thumbs up. He grabbed a potion from his bag and sprayed it all over the wolf's fur, Lycanroc yelping in joy. Kukui’s gaze then shifted to the defeated Absol, and he smiled.

His boots crunched on the snow as he approached Absol. He dropped on one knee and his fingers slid through the Pokémon’s soft fur. Like with Lycanroc, he took out a potion and sprayed it on her. He waited until she opened her eyes and released a low growl.

“You put up a great fight against my Lycanroc there, friend!”

Kukui took a few steps back to give Absol some space and watched her pick herself up with wobbled legs. The disaster Pokémon glared at him, then twirled around and marched off. He chuckled, his hands on his sides.

“Well, I guess that Absol is upset about being defeated. Oh well.” He looked down at his Lycanroc, who barked at him.

“Professor Kukui!” someone called out to him. Kukui turned around and spotted Jeff, one of the construction workers he had hired to build the Pokémon League, rushing at him. With deep breaths, Jeff reached him as his knees collapsed.

“Is something the matter?” Kukui asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I just got a call from Professor Burnet over at Aether Paradise and she says it’s urgent.”

Kukui’s stomach dropped. Burnet had gone there over a week ago to check up on an incident that had happened there and she stayed in Aether Paradise ever since. He wanted to go, too, but she insisted he continue overlooking the construction of the Pokémon League. The next he had heard from her, she told him that Lillie was fine but that she and Moon were attempting to go to save Lillie’s mother. That then meant Burnet had some news to share. He nodded in acknowledgement.

“I’ll head to the Pokémon Center right now.”

Kukui took the outside elevator to the mountain’s highest peak and rushed to the Pokémon Center. When he stepped inside, the warm air from the heat blasted at him and Kukui let out a contented sigh. He glanced around to the see two trainers gathered around at the café and Nurse Joy at the reception area. She offered him a welcoming smile.

“Hello, Professor Kukui! Another training session finished?”

“Ah huh,” he said. “My Lycanroc had a great battle against an Absol, both of them dishing out their best moves.” Behind him, Lycanroc yelped and wagged his tail.

“Well, don’t push your Lycanroc too hard,” Nurse Joy said, wiggling her finger. “Oh, I take it Jeff let you know your wife had just called.”

Kukui’s grin faded. “He did. I’ll need to use one of the video phones.”

Nurse Joy nodded and pointed to where the video phone booths are, next to the Pokémart shop. Kukui thanked her and headed to one of the booths. He sat down, punched one of Aether Foundation’s phone numbers, and the phone screen lit up.

“Thank goodness you’re here, honey.” He was greeted with Burnet’s relieved face and Magnezone floating at her side. Behind her, Kukui could make out a white queen sized bed and silky curtains covering the windows. The room itself was painted in white walls and the chandeliers lit up, as if inside was shrouded in brilliant sunlight.

“I’m glad to see Magnezone keeping you company,” he said, smiling in return.

“Magnezone’s been lovely; thank you for letting me have it for a little while.” Burnet patted Magnezone’s steel body.

“Glad to hear.” Kukui then said in a low voice, “Jeff told me you have something important to tell me.”

“I do. Lillie and Lusamine have returned since last night.”

“Oh?” Kukui’s heart jumped. “So Lillie and Moon’s journey through to the Ultra Space went fine?”

“Both girls are safe.” Brunet then shifted her gaze from Kukui. “Lillie’s mother, however, she’s unconscious right now.”

“Did something happen to her?”

Burnet and Magnezone exchanged wary looks, and the magnet Pokémon let out whirling noises. His wife faced back to him, dragging in a deep breath.

“I know you’re busy with your upcoming Pokémon League, but I think it’s best you see this for yourself.”

Kukui hung his head down and scratched his chin. “Lillie’s still in Aether Paradise, yes?” he asked, and Burnet nodded. “Then I’ll be coming over, too.”

A satisfied look washed over Burnet’s face. “I think she’ll love that.” She turned her face away from the screen for a brief moment. “I should be going now. It’s almost lunchtime. Can’t wait to see you, then.”

“Me too, honey.” The screen blacked out, and Kukui put the phone back on the receiver. He sighed and leaned back on his seat, his head against his arms. “Looks like I’ll go to Aether Paradise, Lycanroc.”

Lycanroc titled his head in confusion, then he barked. Biting his lip, Kukui hoped this upcoming trip would run smoothly.

xxx

After he packed up some things from the motel he was staying in near Tapu Village, Kukui used his Ride Pager to have Charizard fly him to Aether Paradise. He had used the Pokémon often when he needed to go someplace quickly, or to visit Burnet at the Dimensional Lab. Kukui held onto Charizard tight as the fire type rushed through the skies, and it was only around a few hours until they reached their destination. Kukui’s transport landed at the foundation’s entrance, and he jumped off from Charizard’s back.

“Thanks, Charizard,” Kukui said, patting the Pokémon’s head. He watched as Charizard roared and launched himself back into the skies.

Kukui turned around, his mouth opening in awe. The pristine building towered over him, the sunlight sparkling the windows. Its architecture was reminiscent of a corporation’s, with the foundation’s star symbol hung on top of the entrance. There were some Pokémon, employees in white suits, and trainers outside gathered around the campus. Some of the tourists were looking at the view of the calm ocean. Kukui moved passed them and headed to the building.

Upon stepping inside, he was greeted with more employees, trainers, and Pokémon moving around. There were two reception desks on each side, and further up ahead was the elevator. Kukui was about to talk to one of the receptionists, but he stopped when he saw a woman approaching him.

“Oh, glad you can make it, Professor Kukui,” she said when she reached him and pushed her glasses on the bridge of her nose. She wore a dress that hugged around her curves, and her hair was done in nice big curls.

“You must be Wicke,” Kukui said with a small smile. “I take it my wife and Lillie are inside?”

“They are. If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you to them.”

Kukui followed Wicke as they ignored the elevator and went outside. While they passed through a row of trees, she spoke again.

“I want to let you know how much I appreciate Professor Burnet staying here. We’re able to get better analysis of the wormholes and track the Ultra Beast’s locations faster thanks to her and her colleagues back at the Dimensional Lab.”

Kukui’s heart jumped at the mention of the Ultra Beasts, but he forced a chuckle. “That’s great to hear. She’s very good at alternate dimensions stuff.”

“I should also mention that her visit helped Lillie out a lot. She hurried to hug the professor the moment she saw her, and the ladies have been getting along well.”

“Lillie is very fond of her, yes,” he said, his face softening. “We’ve done our best to welcome her into our home.”

They made it to another building that was similar to a manor. The lights on each side burned brightly, and the two doors were adorned with blue diamonds. The two headed inside, Kukui’s shoes echoing on the marble floor. There were stairs on both sides that were locked up at the moment, and in front of them was a room with two doors and a yellow diamond attached on top.

They stepped inside, and Kukui froze at the sight before him. Interior wise, this room was similar to the one Burnet was in, but much bigger and with more silky curtains on the walls and ceiling. Two people gathered around the bed and their gazes dropped, Burnet rubbing Lillie’s shoulder for comfort.

When Burnet heard Kukui approaching them, she lifted her head and her face lit up. She bounced off her seat and they embraced. Her perfume tickled Kukui’s nose and he breathed in the scent. After a moment, they let go.

“Professor Kukui,” Lillie said when she approached them. A small smile formed on her lips. “It’s very nice of you to visit.”

Returning the smile, Kukui fixed his gaze at Lillie. Her hair was tied like a braided hairband, and she wore a blouse and skirt that matched her new look well. He could sense an air of confidence surrounding her.

“I’m glad that you’re safe, Lillie.” Kukui faced back at Burnet. “You mentioned something happened with Lusamine.”

Burnet made a solemn nod and she led Kukui to the bed. He gazed down at Lusamine, who was sleeping. Low, ragged breaths escaped from her, and her face looked very pale. He swallowed hard.

“How is she?” he asked.

“Not well, but she’s alive at least,” Wicke said, lowering her head. She clasped her hands together. “She still has a lot of the toxins inside her system due to her combining with UB-01.”

“Wait, what?” Kukui’s eyes flew wide. “How did that happen?”

Lillie went on to explain everything, how she and Moon first found Guzma, then they confronted with Lusamine. They witnessed her merging with the Ultra Beast, then Moon defeated Lusamine in a Pokémon battle. Everyone had escaped thanks to Nebby. He and Burnet hung on to her every word.

“Wait, so Nebby is actually the legendary Pokémon, Lunala?” Grinning, Kukui said, “Wow, that must be some Wild Charge discovery there!”

“It is, and I couldn’t have been happier,” Lillie said in a reminiscent voice. “After Moon caught Lunala, we went our separate ways. I’m assuming she’s on her way to the League now.”

“That’s good Moon and Nebby are fine, too. I had Nanu pick Moon up to take her there, I’ll give them a call soon.” Kukui sighed and took his glasses off. He then imagined Lusamine fusing with an Ultra Beast, and shuddered. “I’m sorry you had to go through all that, Lillie.”

“It’s all right,” she said, smiling. “I’m actually glad I went through this journey as I’ve got to meet people like you, Professor Burnet, Hau, and Moon. And I’ve become a much braver person than before.”

“That’s reassuring to hear.” Kukui put his glasses back on and smiled back. He still felt bad for Lillie and her family, but he knew that she would be fine.

There was a brief silence, then the door opened. Kukui turned around and his stomach churned. Guzma stepped inside with a small paper bag in hand. He still wore the chain with the Team Skull logo on his neck and his dark baggy clothing.

“Yo Vice Chief, I got more of the meds right here and…” He stopped when he noticed Kukui and shot him a closed-lip smile. “Huh, I didn’t expect you to be here, busy with your League and all.”

“Burnet had called me earlier to let me know Lillie and her mother are back, so I decided to check up on them.”

Guzma put both hands on his sides, his mouth twitching. “Well, as you can see the Prez is all tuckered out, likely for a long time. You got caught up on all the info, yeah?”

“We told him everything, yes,” Burnet said, rubbing one of her eyes. She didn’t seem to be fazed by his appearance.

“Good, I don’t need to repeat it to ya, then." Guzma then faced Wicke. “Should I set these aside on the counter?”

“Of course.” With a furrowed eyebrow, Wicke nodded slowly.

Guzma put the medicine down on the counter, stopping a moment to gaze down at Lusamine. He then grabbed a chair and flung his legs on the table. He leaned back on his seat, his arms over his head.

During the lingering silence, Kukui glanced at Lillie to see her back on her chair. She folded her hands on her lap and her eyes flickered. He looked back at Guzma, and questions concerning his involvement in all this formed in his head.

“If it’s alright with you, Guzma,” he said, “I would like to speak with you outside.”

Guzma raised an eyebrow, then rose out from his seat and shrugged. “Sure, if ya want.”

Wicke and Lillie threw funny looks at Kukui while Burnet frowned. He gave everyone a reassuring smile, then left the room with Guzma.

The two men headed outside the manor. Guzma sat on the steps while Kukui stood up, his hands inside his lab coat’s pockets. A light breeze passed through, caressing his skin. He could hear the rustled leaves from the trees and the Pokémon’s cries.

“Is it true you were involved with the Aether Foundation?” Kukui didn’t hesitate to ask.

Guzma pursed his lips, and he bobbed his head. “I had a thing for the Prez because she took me seriously as a trainer. Well, I’ve been played this whole time. Lusamine got herself too attached to those Ultra Beast and gone cahoots, and those freaks of nature got me, too.”

Upon hearing that, Kukui’s eyes grew wide. “Wait, so the Ultra Beasts did something to you?”

“They were messin’ with my mind for a while, and that scared the heck out of me.” Guzma threw his head back, scratching his cheek. “That Vice Chief and the other scientists gave me some meds to calm my nerves, so I guess I’m alright for now.”

Kukui frowned. His chest tightened and a chill ran down his spine. He still got goosebumps imagining Lusamine’s fusion with the Ultra Beast. Staring back at Guzma, Kukui realized something else.

“You still care about her.” He took his cap off and slid his fingers through his hair. “I can tell by the way you looked at her after putting her medicine at the counter. And you’re still here by her side, right?”

That caused Guzma to flinch, then he grunted and his shoulders slumped. “Ya got me there, but I know that it won’t work out.”

An awkward silence followed. Kukui stared down on the ground until Guzma spoke again.

“I have to hand it to you, your trainers aren’t half bad at kicking my butt several times.”

“Oh, you mean Hau and Moon?” He couldn’t help but chuckle, and Kukui put his cap back on. “Yes, the both of them sure are something. Brings me back to our island challenge days.”

Guzma snorted. “Don’t remind me. I still think this region’s traditions are whacked.”

“You have to admit, some of the trials were fun. Remember when we had to face the second totem Pokémon?”

“You mean the one with that Wishiwashi while outside in the pouring ass rain?” Guzma cackled and slapped his knee. “Your Magnemite and my bud Wimpod hated that, but they pulled through in the end. And the third totem? Who thought it’s a good idea to bring in a Salazzle?”

Smirking, Kukui let out an “hmph” sound. “Back then, I thought you would be a good trial captain, maybe even a kahuna. As I mentioned at Malie City, however, you were too focused on which moves are the strongest instead of ones that work best with your Pokémon. I was too for a while.”

“Yeah, you did preach about that mumbo jumbo.” Guzma shrugged. He then tilted his head, his eyes wide. “Hold up, ya think I can be a kahuna?” he asked, and Kukui nodded. Guzma howled in laughter. “That’s rich coming from you.”

“I’m not lying when I said that. If you had overcome that one flaw, you could have reached that potential.”

Guzma regarded him for a moment, then he waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. “Nah, I would be terrible. Besides, kahunas are supposed to be like role model material, and I’m not that. What can I say, I live for destruction.”

Another round of silence surrounded them. Kukui scratched the back of his neck and his feet shuffled on the ground.

“What will you be doing from here on out?”

“Why do you care?” Guzma asked, glaring at him.

“I’m just curious, that’s all.”

Kukui watched as Guzma squinted his face. He then stood up, took off his Team Skull pendant, and handed it to Kukui. The professor’s eyes flickered.

“Huh, what’s this?” The pendant grew heavy in his hands.

“There’s no purpose for Team Skull anymore. I’m gonna lay low for a while and figure that out.” A grin pulled on Guzma’s lips. “Don’t expect me to change, though. Your boy Guzma will still be his bad self and beat the living lights out of you.”

Kukui blinked at first, then he laughed. “I wish you luck on whatever path you decide on next.”

They shook hands, then Kukui watched as Guzma took his leave. He made several steps, but he then stopped to face back at Kukui.

“Before I go, tell the Vice Chief I said thanks for letting me crash here for a while. And that I hope Lusamine feels better soon.”

“I will,” Kukui said.

Guzma grinned once more, then he continued to head off. Once Kukui couldn’t see him anymore, he looked down at the gift Guzma had handed to him. He chuckled, put the it inside his pocket, then went back inside.

By the time he was in the room, Lillie, Wicke, and Burnet gathered around the table drinking tea. The scent of honey lingered around. Lusamine, meanwhile, was still sleeping. Everyone else noticed him stepping in.

“Where’s Guzma?” Wicke asked, pouring a cup for Lillie.

“He needed to leave, but before he did Guzma mention he may be disbanding Team Skull.”

“Is that true?” Burnet asked, tilting her head.

“Yes. We won’t be bothered by them anymore.”

Lillie sighed in relief. “That’s good to hear.” Her gaze then fell on her cup. “I have to admit, after being in the Ultra Wormhole I did feel bad for Mr. Guzma. He didn’t deserve to be treated by my mother like that."

Kukui offered her a small smile, then he faced Wicke. “Oh, Wicke, Guzma wants you to know that he appreciates you letting him stay here and hopes that Lusamine gets better soon.”

“Not a problem at all.” Wicke smiled, and she sipped more of her tea. “If you want Professor Kukui, you can stay here for the night and I’ll give you a tour here a little later.”

Kukui pondered Wicke’s offer a minute, then a wide grin stretched across his face. “Sure, I’ll hang around here for the night.”

“Excellent!” Wicke clapped her hands. “I’ll tell one of the cooks to make us a special dinner tonight.”

At that moment, Kukui’s stomach growled and he laughed. “Dinner sounds great about now.”

Burnet and Wicke giggled while Lillie smiled in amusement. He smiled back, looking forward to the tour and dinner.

xxx

When it was time for everyone to sleep later that night, he and Burnet retired in the guest room his wife had been staying, and they shared the bed together. While Burnet sounded asleep, Kukui stared at the ceiling with his head on his arms.

He rose out of his bed and reached to his lab coat that he left on the chair, putting it on. His gaze then turned towards the bright moon. He stole a glance at Burnet, who was still sleeping, then he left the room.

Kukui departed from the manor and went inside the facilities. The entrance was mostly empty saved for a few employees watching over the Pokémon. He headed to the elevator and pushed the button to take him to the conservation area.

Once he made it to the next floor, he strolled around to see the Pokémon settling on the trees, boulders, and pounds. Their content noises vibrated through his bones. His gaze then moved upwards, the moonlight piercing through the glass ceiling. Earlier Wicke had given him the tour of this floor, and he was amazed at the variety of the Pokémon staying here. He eventually stopped near a rushing waterfall, gazing at the Starmie and Corsola splashing the waters.

Kukui pulled out Guzma’s pendant from his lab coat’s pocket and let it dangle in front of his face. He glanced down, seeing his reflection through the running water.

“Unable to sleep?” Burnet’s voice distracted him, and Kukui turned around to see her looking at him.

“Can’t stop thinking about the recent events. I was super excited when Hau and Moon told me about the Ultra Beast and wormhole that appeared in this very floor. To think, Lusamine would go to great lengths to get them and Guzma helping her out.”

Burnet frowned. She joined him at the waterfall, her arms on the railings.

“That came as a surprise myself. No wonder Lillie was timid when we first brought her to our home. I hope she and Lusamine will have a better relationship from now on.”

Kukui dragged in a sigh, only to then smile a little. “Lillie has become a braver person, and it’s all thanks to Moon and Nebby. I also agree Guzma deserves better, even if he was Team Skull’s boss.”

Burnet nodded. Her eyes then caught the pendant Kukui was holding. “Speaking of him, isn’t that pendant his?”

“You mean this?” Kukui held the item out in front of her. “It is. He gave it to me before leaving. I’m not sure why he did that.”

“You’re going to keep it?” she asked.

“Probably. It could make for a nice souvenir.” Kukui puts it back inside his lab coat.

“You mentioned being friends with Guzma a while back. Did you two have a fall out?”

“More or less. I left the island challenge on my own accord while he got frustrated over its traditions.” Kukui stared back at the waters with his shoulders slumped. “I haven’t heard from him until recently, and he’s changed a lot since then.”

“It’s natural for friends to go through different paths. Guzma’s may not be a favorable one, but him disbanding Team Skull shows he’s willing to better himself.”

Burnet squeezed Kukui’s hand and their fingers intertwined. He smiled over the warmth of her skin against his, comforting like home.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m glad that you’re with me now.” Kukui tore his gaze away from the water, cupped his other hand on Burnet’s cheek, and pressed his lips onto hers for a deep kiss. As his breathing quickened, he could taste the honey tea still on her mouth.

“We should go to bed,” Burnet said after their lips parted. “You’ll need to head back to Mount Lanakila tomorrow.”

Their hands still clasping together, they headed toward the elevator together and exited the conservatory.

xxx

Wicke had insisted in seeing Kukui off, so the next morning everyone headed out to Aether Paradise’s campus. The people and Pokémon that lingered outside weren’t paying attention to them. Lillie, Wicke, and Burnet gathered around the professor. Above them, the sun started to rise.

“I need to go back to the Dimensional Lab soon myself,” Burnet said to Wicke. “I appreciate the hospitality you’ve been giving us.”

“Burnet and I will be sure to come again soon,” Kukui said.

“That’s unfortunate you guys can’t stay here longer. But yes, the both of you are welcome here anytime.” Wicke beamed, and next to her Lillie nodded.

“Before you leave, I should give you Magnezone back.” Burnet handed Kukui his Magnezone’s pokéball, then he put it in his bag.

“Thank you. I’ll need it for the League.”

“I’m sure you will. Have a safe trip back.” Burnet planted a quick kiss on Kukui’s cheek.

“Same to you, honey.” The couple embraced for a second, then they gazed at one another when they let go.

“You make sure to take care of you mother, all right?” Kukui told Lillie, looking down at her.

“I will, don’t worry,” Lillie said with a smile. “And I’ll also cheer Moon on as she goes through the Pokémon League.”

“Awesome!” He flashed her a grin and gave her a thumbs up, then he glanced at the morning sun.

He pulled out his Rider Page to push a button, and Kukui waited a few moments until he heard wings flapping. An orange blur passed by, and Charizard landed with a thud, the ground shaking a little. Kukui hopped onto his back.

“You all take care!” he said while waving everyone goodbye. Lillie, Wicke, and Burnet said their goodbyes, too, and waved back at him. Kukui kicked at Charizard’s hip, and they launched toward the skies.

As they flew, Kukui glanced down to see Aether Paradise farther away from his sight. With a large grin he turned back to face Charizard’s neck, the air rushing through his hair. He mused over how it may take some time for things to return to normal, but Kukui was still optimistic over the future. And in the end, Lillie, Guzma, Hau, Moon, and everyone else would be content just like him with their new paths they decided on.

xxx

Author’s Notes 2:

Spoiler:
So, after I had beaten Sun/Moon's main storyline I got hit with this plotbunny. One thing that kinda bothered me is I don't think we've gotten any reactions from Kukui and Burnet the chaos going on in Aether Paradise (except when Nanu says Kukui wants him to pick up the protagonist), so I gave this a try. I wrote this for Livejournal's fan_flashworks community for the prompt, "Villian", but it's only vaguely related to it haha.

If any of you read another fic of mine, And an Adieu to You, this maybe seem similar. The professor and team leader talk things out, team leader gives professor an object, they then say their goodbyes. The way I did Guzma and Kukui's interactions isn't as emotional as Lysandre and Sycamore's interactions. Well, with Sycamore and Lysandre, Sycamore is all starry eyed over Lysandre's ideals and I'm sure Lysandre has some feelings for Sycamore, too. Guzma and Kukui's interaction in the games though went differently, with Kukui going to Guzma, "My trainer can beat you." I can see Kukui being taken aback Guzma working with Lusamine and still wonder about their implied childhood friendship, however. So yeah, for this story I have them moreso like long lost buddies reminiscing.

This is something I didn't get a chance to mention in the narrative, but reason Burnet has Kukui's Magnezone is he wants her to have a Pokémon with her just incase. Kukui needs to wear warmer clothing if he's gonna be up at Mount Lanakila, though, haha.
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Old December 4th, 2016 (4:01 PM).
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Bardothren Bardothren is online now
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Hello there Bay! Glad to see something of yours pop up on PC so I get to return the favor on all the comments you leave me! First off, a typo I found:

Quote:
“Professor Kuki!” someone called out to him. Kuki turned around and spotted Jeff, one of the construction workers he had hired to build the Pokémon League, rushing at him.
Looks like a 'u' decided it needed a vacation :D Anyways, aside from that, you did a great job with this one. I'm always wanting more world description in whatever I read, but I'd say what you have is adequate for setting up the scene, from the snowy mountaintop to Aether Paradise's grandiose buildings.

I think you did a great job characterizing Guzma and Kukui (but I've never played the games, so what would I know?) while Lillie and Burnet feel more like secondary characters - their dialogue is primarily expository with splashes of emotion thrown in that keep them from being too flat. You established tension through Lusamine's condition, but I think you could've done more if you added a distinct tone through detailed word choice. I'd say there's more tension in the professor's talk with Guzma, from the reactions and dialogue. I also like the battle you started off the story with, and it promises more exciting fights to come. All in all, I say you did a solid job, and I can't wait to see more.
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Old December 4th, 2016 (8:21 PM). Edited December 5th, 2016 by Bay Alexison.
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Oops over that Kukui typo, lol. Fixed it now!

Glad you thought I characterized Kukui and Guzma well even without playing the games. One other reader on another site thought so, too, so I did something right haha. With Burnet and Lillie being more secondary characters, Lillie had some great character development in the games so not sure how much I can add unless I have this in her point of view. Burnet she didn't get too much of a role in the game's story, but I think I expanded her enough at least for this one.

Yeah I feel I kinda skipped over Lusamine's condition compared to Kukui and Guzma's conversation. The games didn't show Kukui's thoughts over some of the events in the game, so I tried to figure that out. Might come back to that part and play around with word choice.

Again, thanks for your review!
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