[Pokémon] 15

[TheMysteryEgg]

15
By TheMysteryEgg


Chapter 1-Out
Chapter 2-The Freeze
Chapter 3-Escape
Chapters 4-Investigations
Chapters 5-Purple Sky
Chapter 6-20-In progress.
​

Prologue
In the time of turmoil and chaos, there were 15 Guards roaming the 5 regions. Each Guard had a ability like no other. The Guards make sure there is peace in the 5 regions. Their species were written down so here's the order:

Bulbasaur
Charmander
Squirtle

Totodile
Cyndaquil
Chikorita

Treeko
Torchic
Mudkip

Piplup
Chimchar
Turtwig

Tepig
Snivy
Oshawott
​

Chapter 1-Out
Piplup was in a fierce battle with treasure hunters looking to find his source where he gets his abilities located far under Goldenrod City. The treasure hunters consisted of Zubat, Electrode, and Golem. Piplup tried hard not to reveal she was a Guard so he endured as much damage as possible. Golem was about to use Rock Slide when Totodile appeared right next to the treasure hunters. Totodile remembered what Dialga taught him about how to freeze time. The words came back to him.

"Focus, think about time. Feel the power of time. Let if flow through you."

Totodile froze time and grabbed Piplup while they escaped. Turtwig was at the surface and made the cave with the treasure hunters inside collapse. Turtwig had got his ability to use the power of earth when he was born. It happened all so quickly that when Piplup blinked, she arrived at the Pokemon Center.
Chapter 2-The Freeze
Not all the Guards were friends with each other. When Piplup was done healing, she was freezing and unfreezing as Totodile laughed continuously. Everybody was confused about why Piplup was freezing. Piplup managed to reach Turtwig and asked him a question.
"Where's Chimchar?" she asked.

"He's off in Unova enjoying a short vacation."

"We are Guards, we have no time for vacations." whispered Piplup.

"You're so careful Piplup, get a life." said Totodile.

They headed towards Ecruteak city, where Master said there was some strange occurrence.

Chapter 3-Escape
Chimchar was locked up in a dungeon nearby Accumula Town. His captors didn't know that he was a Guard but saw he was acting suspicious. His captors were the patrols that appeared because of the strange occurrence in the town. They asked if he knew anything about the occurrences..
"I'm telling you, I don't know anything about the occurrences!" yelled Chimchar, trying to break free.
"Use Thunderbolt on him again." screamed the chief.
Zzzzt.
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" screamed Chimchar.
Chimchar knew the only way he could get out is if he made the patrols faint or obliterate them though that would raise suspicion. He remembered what Heatran taught him:

"The magma will come to you, you just have to think, control the flow."

He created magma and melted the patrols. They screamed and howled until they were no more. The chains were melted and Chimchar escaped.

~
​

Somewhere under the ocean, a pokemon was watching a computer screen. The patrols in Accumula town were gone.
"I will destroy them." he said.

Chapter 4 – Investigations
Treeko, Torchic, Mudkip, and Articuno were in Kanto looking for the other legendary birds. They have heard of some trouble they were having. They heard Moltres couldn't fly and Zapdos got a mysterious virus that prevented him from using electricity or attacking with electric type moves. They then went missing. Articuno was still unaffected but stayed with the three Guards for protection.


"Where did you last see Moltres and Zapdos?" asked Torchic.


"I saw them both last in my home, the Seafoam Islands. I sensed you were here in Kanto so I came to you."said Articuno.


Treeko told them that he was going to take them there. He was naturally gifted with the power of teleportation, he told everyone to hold each other's hand or wing, in the case of Articuno. Treeko closed his eyes. He imagined the Seafoam Islands. They were there right after that. The cavern was cold and icy. Torchic was taught by a master Kecleon to change type. Torchic changed to the ice type to prevent from freezing. Torchic suddenly turned white and his moves seemed to change.


"Okay, we'll split up. Articuno and Treeko, you stay inside the cavern. Torchic and I will go to the surface." said Mudkip.


Torchic and Mudkip headed toward the surface. Mudkip could make objects appear and disappear. Mudkip made rocks and ice in their path disappear. Articuno and Treeko teleported around the cave. They couldn't see anything that could resemble a bird. Torchic and Mudkip were at the surface and were walking on the beach. In the far distance they saw the unconscious form of Moltres.

Chapter 5-Purple Sky
Piplup, Turtwig, and Totodile had reached Ecruteak City. They saw Tin Tower in the distance.


"Okay, Master said there were hospitalized pokemon from yesterday's occurrence in the pokemon center. They should be with Blissey now."


They headed toward the pokemon center where Blissey was standing next to a sleeping Rattata.


"He was in Tin Tower when the sky went wrong." said Blissey in a sad voice.


"What do you mean the sky went wrong?" asked Totodile.


"The sky turned dark red yesterday. Everyone heard screams and shrieks from Tin Tower. There were many pokemon that were found unconsious inside."


"Can we go investigate?"asked Piplup.


"Tin Tower is off limits for now. Only authorities can go inside at this time."said Blissey.


Turtwig nodded at Piplup. Piplup knew what the nod was for. She remembered something back when she was learning with Suicune.


"Just think of the calmness of water. Then switch from calm to violence. Unleash the power of water."


"Let me try." I said.


So then I thought about calm water and then I thought of storms.


"Why were you standing there with a blank look on your face?!" asked Totodile.


"Oh yeah, forgot about that." she thought.


Piplup thought of calm water and then thought of storms. Then, a sudden small tornado appeared in front of Blissey.


"Oh my goodness, you're a..."


"Shush."said Turtwig.

Blissey knew who was standing right in front of her.

"Go, but make sure the patrols don't see you."

The three headed up the Tin Tower where they saw wood planks everywhere. Outside, the sky began to turn red, then purple. A dark form appeared, heading toward them.

 

[bobandbill]

Even if there is no length limit for chapters this does seem altogether too short and also rushed. I'd advise doing some editing before working on any future chapters, as well as checking out the writing resources we have (there's links to those in the Rules thread) and looking at some already-posted stories as well. (You can also consider a Beta Reader, and in the off-chance you typed this up in the reply box, write it in a word processor like Word, Wordpad, etc so you can save your work and take your time to write it as well as use a spell/grammar checker before posting.)

The main thing to consider would be to expand on each point, character and event, really. For instance, character summaries before the chapter can be actually distracting and give away too much of the story - try integrating each fact into the story - for instance give a flashback or a conversation between characters to explain how Totodile was gifted time powers by Dialga - it'd also be more interesting to read as a result too.

Also consider showing us how things happen along with reactions - how did Totodile 'stop time' - did he just mentally wish for dialga to help him freeze time, or did he wave his arms about while chanting ominously? As for reactions - how does each character react to each event? Such as how did the patrols react to magma - did they scream as they burned, and/or try to run away suddenly when they realised the danger? Again, including such facts will make it far more interesting to read, and will allow you to write more than a paragraph or few per chapter as well. At the moment it is somewhat confusing without the additional info, such as who 'master' is or why anyone is doing these things as well, so add that into the story too so it's clear for us the readers.

On a last note, make sure to have line spacing between each new paragraph/each time someone different speaks so it is easier to read - e.g.:

Not all the Guards were friends with each other. When Piplup was done healing, he was freezing and unfreezing as Totodile laughed continuously. Everybody was confused about why Piplup was freezing. Piplup managed to reach Turtwig and asked him a question.

"Where's Chimchar?" she asked.

"He's off in Unova enjoying a short vacation."

You do have a good basis here and I see some personality between the Pokemon as well which is good - just work on the above. I'll leave this open for you, but try to edit instead of working on new chapters first and all.

 

[TheMysteryEgg]

Edited it. Now I'll work on chapters 5-20.

"Master" is a pokemon I will reveal in the later chapters.

 

[TheMysteryEgg]

I need ideas for the story. I can't seem to get many good ideas.