TGM
Lunar Silhouette
- 133
- Posts
- 10
- Years
- Florida, grew up in Maryland
- Seen Jun 16, 2017
Foreward
The following is a fanfic of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I know the rules already say it but I'm going to say it here too just to make sure the point gets across, please don't hate. If you see something that you dislike in my fic then please word it in constructive criticism. I don't acknowledge trolls or people who are just being rude for the sake of it, so be polite and constructive or you'll be ignored and maybe reported if you persist.
This is not just my fanfic. This is a collaboration effort between myself and Doccular42, this fic can also be accessed on fimfiction here. This is an ongoing fanfiction, and as such there are only 2 chapters, but I'll post them both here.
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Plot
Amethyst Breeze and Ember are two detective mares who recently established a Private Investigator's office in Ponyville. Low on funds, the two mares take almost any job, so long as it pays. However, when things in Ponyville start getting turned upside down, literally, the two mares discover that they may have bit off more than they can chew...
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And without further ado, let's begin.
A & E: The Case of the Obsessive Compulsive Disorderer
Chapter 0: Prologue
The pale light from the moon shone down upon a grungy alleyway. The wind blew an old, rotting trashbag across the ground. A cat screeched off in the distance, but the mare in the silver fedora paid it no mind. She focused her gaze upon the alleyway before her, razing her head as her gaze moved down the alley, across the street, and into the nightclub that lay beyond.
The night was perfect for a stakeout.
The mare tilted her head to the side, listening to the blaring music and loud cheers coming from within the building. She took a step forward, her trenchcoat billowing in the soft breeze as she reached for her—
"I'm so boooooooored, Ammy!"
Amethyst Breeze, private investigator sighed, removing her fedora with a frown. "Ember, I told you that you could wait back by the restaurant, but YOU wanted to be here for the action."
A pale yellow pegasus flapped over beside Amethyst, giving her a glare. "Yeah, for the action. Not for you standing around like some heroic action… hero…" Ember finished lamely.
Amethyst snorted. "And you call yourself a smooth talker…" She reached to the device hanging around her neck and lifted them to her eyes.
The binoculars produced clicked as Amethyst's vision zoomed, narrowing down to look through the window of the dingy bar.
Inside sat several stallions, many mares, and even a few foals. A family bar, Amethyst noted. That would make things a bit more difficult…
"So, uh, are we just going to stand out in the open? It's kind of chilly out…" Ember shook her red mane while she adjusted her beret and pulled her ever-so-chic scarf tighter around her. "Oh, and it's also kinda conspicuous, two mares standing in an alley all creepy-like."
Amethyst growled. "Fine." She cooly strode out onto the sidewalk that bordered the main road. Then, quick as a flash, she slipped behind a bush, crouching confidently. She turned to the other mare and cocked her head to the side.
Ember took her time as she sauntered over to the private eye. A passing stallion turned his head and gave a long whistle. Ember tossed her mane back, and blinked her long eyelashes at him before reaching Amethyst.
"Okay, when we get back to the office, you are SO going to have to look up the definition of 'stealth,' because I'm pretty sure you have no idea what it means!" Amethyst hissed.
"'Stealth: Cautious and surreptitious action or movement." Ember smirked. "I know what it means. I just don't need to employ it. Have you even seen my mane? Stallions eat it up!"
"Grrrr…" Amethyst pointedly ignored her partner as she resumed gazing into the nightclub. She lifted the binoculars up to her eyes once more.
"Okay, it looks like we've got a couple bouncers at the door… Barkeep has a buzzer under the counter… You can tell, just by the way he keeps glancing over at that drunk guy and how he's positioning himself at the bar. He's uncomfortable and antsy. Couple of stallions in there, but I don't see our guy yet…" Amethyst gazed about the room, eyes set in total concentration as every bit of her willpower focused in on—"
"Is it my turn yet?"
Amethyst groaned as she smacked her hoof into her face. "Ember. Use your brain and exercise your Celestia given right to remain silent." She looked back into the bar.
"... your face's right to remain silent…"
"What was that?"
"Nothing!" Ember smiled brilliantly, blinking her eyes.
Amethyst resumed her scan of the club. "Not him… not him… not him… Wait, I think that's him!" A gangly yellow earth pony stallion came into her view, and her binoculars froze on him. "Orange mane. Freckles. Really thin. Stupid dorky hat and vest. It's our stallion."
"Sooo… does that mean that it's my turn? 'Cause you really need to practice your sharing more. Now's as good a time as any!"
Amethyst lowered the binoculars and took a deep breath. "Ember, this isn't something to take lightly. Mrs. Cake trusted us with finding out about Mr. Cake's nightly excursions, and it is our responsibility to ensure— HEY!"
In a split second, Ember had swiped the binoculars from Amethyst and started hovering several feet above the bush they were supposed to be hiding in, her wings flapping lightly. She blinked.
"Is THAT him? I can't imagine why any mare would want a piece of—" Ember's words were cut off as Amethyst yanked her overly enthusiastic partner's tail using her azure magic. She dragged the startled pegasus back down into the bush with a yelp.
"Keep it down would you?!" She spoke in a harsh whisper. "This is supposed to be a stakeout! You raise your voice any louder and you'll give away our position!"
"Seriously! You messed up my tail!" Ember whined, dropping the binoculars to clutch at her slightly messed up hair. "Aww, now I have to re-curl it when we get back to the office…" She glared at the unicorn. "Thanks."
"You're welcome." Amethyst rolled her eyes, ignoring her friend's plight as she secured the binocular's strap firmly around her neck and raised the binoculars yet again. She narrowed her eyes, watching as Mr. Cake sat down at a table across from a pink poofy-haired mare.
"I think I might have something…" Amethyst mumbled, clicking the binoculars a few more times. "...she's facing away from me though, I can't tell who it is."
As Amethyst watched, the pink mare leaned across the table to whisper into Mr. Cake's ear. Mr. Cake gave her a confused look before nodding, reaching around behind him to put a small bag on the table. The pink mare bounced up and down suddenly, putting another bag on the table. Amethyst could tell by the way it sagged, the bag was full of-
"Bits." Amethyst spoke, frowning. Suddenly, Ember jerked her hard to the side, forcing her to press up against the yellow pegasus as she took the binoculars by force. Ember looked through them, nearly choking Amethyst.
"Oooo, a conspiracy!" Ember said, sporting a grin now. "Things are heating up! I wonder what they'll do next…"
Amethyst struggled for a moment before pulling herself out of the strap, frowning deeply as she adjusted her fedora back onto her head. "Yes, well, in any case we need to figure out what's in that bag. Do you think you can get your hooves on the bag that Mr. Cake gave to our mystery mare? I'll try to stall Mr. Cake."
"Mystery mare no more! I know her! That's Pinkie Pie!" Ember said, continuing with her goofy grin as she leaned forward. "Mr. Cake is hittin' it with the Element of Laughter! Yeah, that's it, lean in closer… Ooh..."
Amethyst took the binoculars back, tucking it into her trench coat as she smacked Ember on the back of her head. "Keep your mind ON THE MISSION, Ember. Did you even hear a word I said?"
"Get the bag from Pinkie Pie, yes I heard you." Ember grumbled. "You know, if we just wait a little bit and catch them in the heat of the moment… That would probably work best for us!"
"Mind on mission. Not in gutter. Anyways, we need physical evidence to strengthen our case." Amethyst said, turning towards the bar. "Give me a second to think…"
Amethyst considered her options. The target still sat in the booth, sorting through his new bag of whatever illicit materials he had just procured, while his contact, accomplice, marefriend, or whatever walked away from the booth and sat at the bar. She sorted through the bag with an inane grin on her face.
"Okay, here's the plan. Right now, all we have to go on is what little we've seen. We don't have proof, and we don't know anything that we can bring to the client. And if somepony hadn't dropped our camera, I wouldn't have to suggest this, but I think we have to—"
"Wasn't my fault… It was that stupid rock…"
"—we have to get whatever's in those bags."
Ember did a double take. "Wait, what? Like, steal them?"
"Yes, steal them. I know, it's wrong and we could get in trouble, but—"
"This is the best case EVER! Usually you yell at me whenever I suggest taking something, or knocking somepony out, or drop the camera, but this time I get to take stuff, and you're telling me to do it!" Ember fell to the ground and giggled like a filly. She then stood up, dusting herself off. "So, do you want me to seduce him, and get his stuff?"
Amethyst looked at the other mare, totally unamused. "No. You'll take Pinkie. We're here to prevent infidelity, not cause it."
Ember nodded. "You're right. This flank is just too sexy and tempting. Better to seduce Pinkie instead."
Amethyst facehoofed once more. "No. Just… no. Get the bag, and get out. I'll handle Mr. Cake. No seducing, no snogging, and no knocking anypony out. I'd tell you not to break the camera, but it's too late for that."
Ember pursed her lips. "Spoilsport."
"Just get the bag and I'll stall our suspect."
"Fine." With that, Ember headed for the bar and Amethyst raised her binoculars, this time uninterrupted.
Ember was able to get in through the front, Amethyst noticed. The pink pony stood up from the bar and started walking for the exit. Perfect. She turned her gaze just in time to witness Mr. Cake heading for the back exit. She lowered her binoculars crept toward the back door.
Pinkie Pie was bouncing to the door, a happy yet oblivious expression on her face when Amethyst saw her suddenly bump into somepony, causing the contents of her bag to spill out all across the floor.
"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!" Ember said to the party mare, bending down to pick things up with her teeth.
"Aw it's okay" Pinkie said, beginning to pick things up as well. "Sometimes, bumping into ponies is the best way to make a new friend!"
Amethyst smirked. She may be annoying at times, but Ember could get the job done when it counted. She cracked her neck as she gazed at the front door. She stood up against the wall, the light from the streetlamps blocked by the building next to her. She smirked… and waited.
A moment later, Mr. Cake stepped out the back door, turning to leave but stopping as Amethyst's shadowed figure approached him. "Mr. Cake, I presume?" Amethyst asked. She could tell exactly what the stallion was thinking. Noticing her silver fedora and trenchcoat silhouetted against the faint light from the lamps. Trying to recognize her, but failing. Fearing.
"Y-yes, but who's asking?"
A badge suddenly levitated out of the mare's pocket- covered in an azure magical aura as it presented itself. "Amethyst Breeze, Private Investigator. I recently set up shop here in Ponyville. I'm just curious as to what a family stallion like yourself is doing at a family bar without a family at this time of night." Amethyst asked, cokcing an eyebrow. "Seems kind of strange."
Meanwhile, back in the bar Ember had almost finished picking the contents of Pinkie's bag up. "I really am sorry though Pinkie, I can be such a clutz sometimes." She batted her eyelids at the earthpony, who seemed to not notice, until—
Pinkie's sudden gasp caused Ember to take a step back. At first, she felt afraid that she'd been caught, but then Pinkie was an inch from a face. "You know my name, but I don't know your name! Are you new here in Ponyville? Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie! But I guess you already knew that. Oh my gosh, I can't believe we have ANOTHER new pony! I mean, I thought something was going on because I got a twitchy eye the other day and my Pinkie sense NEVER lies, but anyways, how would you like it if I threw you a welcome to Ponyville party?!"
Ember blinked a couple of times, trying to process everything the hyperactive pink mare just said before giving a smile. "Um...sure?" And with that the mare was gone in an almost cartoonish trail of smoke. Ember blinked a few times, before looking down at the bag she managed to pick up before Pinkie. "Doesn't matter, got what I wanted." she grinned. "Darn. Didn't get to do any seducing though… Ammy'll be pleased. Drat."
Back in the alleyway, Mr. Cake backed up against the wall beside the door. "There's nothing strange about it!" Mr. Cake said, looking a bit nervous. "I just had some things I needed to take care of."
"Some things. You know, back in Manehattan they are a lot less tolerant of cheating stallions." Amethyst smiled grimly as she saw her words take effect.
A look of horror spread across Mr. Cake's face. "Cheating? What? I would never!"
"Oh don't play coy with me Mr. Cake," Amethyst spoke, poking a hoof into his chest. "We saw you in there! Mrs. Cake hired us to find out what you've been up to, and I'd say a meeting with the Element of Laughter in a family bar in the dead of night qualifies as 'suspicious!' "
"What?!" Mr. Cake said, looking angry now. Amethyst took a few steps back as Mr. Cake stammered. "You've got it all wrong Ms. Breeze! All I'm really doing is—"
And then the door opened, smacking directly into Mr. Cake's face and rendering him immediately unconscious.
"Ammy!" Ember yelled, holding the door open with her hoof. "I got the goods! Did you-" She glanced behind the door all of a sudden, letting out a low whistle. "Wow Ammy, you really did a number on him! I thought you said no knocking anypony out though. Not fair..."
Amethyst simply stared at Ember for a moment, her eye twitching slightly as she resisted the urge to facehoof.
"J-just… Let's just get him down to the office. Might as well ask him some questions…"
"I still can't believe you knocked him out…" Amethyst closed the office door behind her as she dragged the slumped body of Mr. Cake into the office.
"Hey, it was an accident! Anyways, YOU were supposed to knock him out! I guess you shouldn't trust a unicorn to do a pegasus' job." Ember leaned up against her desk while examining a slightly chipped hoof. She met Amethyst's glare with a grin. "Seriously. Get your head in the game, Ammy. Or in the gutter and out of the mission, as you said earlier."
"That's not what I— Oh, never mind." Amethyst leaned the poor stallion up against a wall. "Anyways, I was never going to hit him! We don't do violence! Violence isn't the answer!"
Ember blew out a snort. "'Violence isn't the answer.' Listen to yourself! As Sun Zoo said in his masterpiece, 'The Art of War,' 'If violence isn't the answer, you're asking the wrong question.'" The pegasus nodded sagely.
For the third time that night, Amethyst slapped her forehead with her hoof. "I don't even know how to reply to that…"
"There is no reply. Sun is the master, especially if you read it in the original Saddle Arabian."
"HE WASN'T EVEN SADDLE ARABIAN!" Amethyst shouted, slamming a second hoof to her forehead.
Ember gave her partner a quick hug and a smile. "Aww, it's past somepony's bedtime! Widdle Ammy, are you gwumpy when you'we tiwed?" She pinched the unicorn's cheek.
"Just… go talk to the client while I set Mr. Cake up in the interrogation room…"
"Alrighty!" Ember skipped off into a side room, leaving Amethyst to stare down at the now drooling stallion.
"Sweet Celestia, why does this always happen to us… Or at least to me..."
She dragged Mr. Cake and set him down on the stool inside what passed for the team's interrogation room. A single table, with two chairs on one side and a stool on the other, sat in the middle of the room. Three of the walls were bare, but the fourth bore a one way mirror, behind which would be seated Mrs. Cake.
"Alright Ember. Let's get this show on the road." The pegasus strode happily into the room and slammed the door.
Amethyst grabbed a cup of water from the table and splashed it into Mr. Cake's face. He sputtered, coming to wakefulness.
"Welcome back to the land of the living, Mr. Cake." Amethyst spoke calmly, a serious expression on her face as Mr.Cake looked around wildly.
"What…? How did...where…?"
"We'll be the ones asking the questions, Mr. Cake. It's simply your job to answer."
Mr.Cake blanched for a second before sputtering and pointing a hoof at the two mares. "You assaulted me! You knocked me unconscious!"
"Actually, that was a door." Ember spoke up, looking sheepish. "And an accident. Didn't know you were on the other side. Sorry." Amethyst glared at her, but she continued anyways. "But that's not why we're here! What we want to know is why a married stallion is out so late at night seeing other mares?"
Mr. Cake froze in his seat, some sweat beginning to form on his brow. "I-I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't been seeing other mares…"
"I suppose you wouldn't know anything about this either then." Ember threw a bag onto the table, causing Mr. Cake to gasp. It made a sound akin to coins shifting around onto the table. "Where did you get that?! I gave that to—!" He quickly covered his mouth with his hooves.
"Pinkie Pie. We know." Amethyst spoke up, a bag levitating next to her. "And she gave you this in return, didn't she?" She tossed the bag onto the table alongside the other bag. It maged barely any noise as it touched the table.
"Those could have come from anywhere…!"
"Oh would you just cut the crap?" Ember spoke, suddenly slamming both hooves onto the table as she leaned forward to look Mr. Cake in the eyes. "Just be a stallion and own up to what you've been doing! That's at least a lot more interesting than playing a clueless coward who's afraid to look his own wife in the eye, isn't it?!"
Mr. Cake shifted his gaze nervously back and forth between the two mares before finally letting out a wailing cry and shouted, "OKAY, I ADMIT IT! I'VE BEEN PLANNING A SURPRISE ANNIVERSARY PARTY FOR MY HONEYBUN WITH PINKIE PIE FOR WEEKS NOW! I JUST WANTED TO MAKE HER HAPPYYYY…" He erupted into tears about halfway through his shouting.
Amethyst nodded her head, smiling at the stallion. "See, isn't owning up to what you've done better tha—" She paused for a moment as her brain took a moment to process everything he had just said. "Wait...what?"
Ember blinked, before withdrawing herself from the table, and uttering "...Oh."
Suddenly, the door to the interrogation room burst open as Mrs. Cake galloped in, embracing Mr. Cake in a massive hug.
"Ohhhh, Sugar Bear!!! I should've known better than to doubt you! I am sooooo sorry!"
"I'm sorry for being so secretive honey bun! I should've let you know what I was up to!" The two held each other for a long time, exchanging nicknames for each other and looked on the edge of tears.
Amethyst turned the bag with the coins upside down… And a huge pile of Monopoly money fell out. "Wha—"
"Pinkie was giving me the invitations tonight, but she wanted that toy money that the babies had taken to play with back in return! She said she'd been reading some spy novels and wanted to set up a big spy meet, so I decided to humor her! Oh, I'm so sorry Sugarbooger!"
Amethyst grimly emptied the other bag too. A pile of pink invitations bearing the huge words, 'YOU'RE INVITED!' spilled out. "Oh boy."
Ember looked like she was about to vomit as she looked at the two slobbery ponies across the room. She stayed silent for a moment, but she mustered up the strength to ask something.
"...So...we still get paid right?"
The two broke their love fest for a moment to speak to each other in hushed tones before turning to the two mares.
"NO!" They both shouted in unison, causing Amethyst and Ember's ears to fold back against their heads.
"Poop." Ember spoke, kicking at the floor with her hoof and receiving a punch in the side from Amethyst in turn.
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Morning had dawned upon Ponyville clear and bright. Pegasi flitted about the sky to attend to their early cloud clearing duties, earth ponies were up much earlier tending to their crops already, and many other ponies trotted through the streets going about their daily chores.
This would normally be around the time that Amethyst Breeze, Ponyville's private eye detective, along with her partner Ember, would be up and organizing the paperwork, as well as heading to the bulletin board to look for any new cases that may have been posted…
...If she weren't currently fast asleep, facedown and drooling on her desk, that is.
"Snrrk, huh…?" Amethyst awoke with a start, papers flying from the desk as she sat upright. Her eyes squinted, adjusting to the morning light. She yawned, stretching her legs out as she shook off the drowsy feeling that came from waking up after a deep sleep. She winced, and let out an annoyed snort as she felt a twinge of pain from her neck. She must have slept on it in an awkward position. With a deep sigh, she allowed her gaze to drift down to the desk upon which she had fallen asleep.
Arranged before her, albeit messily, were papers detailing their finances and savings. And from each and every single one of them the word "BROKE", capitalized in red with about three underlines beneath them, jumped out at her. Well, that wasn't the complete truth, Amethyst had done the calculations last night, and if she was right they had about six bits left.
Six bits was all she had to her company's name.
Amethyst rubbed her temples with her hooves, face planting onto the desk again as she tried to rub away a growing headache. Maybe moving shop to Ponyville wasn't such a good idea after all. It had looked like an excellent idea, on paper at least. Small town with trade routes to other small towns nearby, all without a single private investigator among them. Tiny police department, close proximity to a deadly hazard, and enough crazy antics from its citizens to make any competent mother quake in her shoes just to think about her children living in such a chaos-prone area.
Then why were there no cases? Amethyst groaned, letting her forehead thump the desk. Maybe it was time to consider—
Just then, the front door burst open, amplifying Amethyst's headache by about twenty times. "Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooood morning Ammy!" Ember's voice rang through the office, causing Amethyst to cringe.
"MUST YOU BE SO LOUD?!" Amethyst yelled, massaging her temples.
"Awww, widdle Ammy-Wammy didn't get much sleep last night did she? Actually…" Ember's gaze wandered around the office, noticing papers strewn everywhere, which usually meant Amethyst was neck deep in filing paperwork. "...did you even go home last night?"
Amethyst's horn lit up as papers in her magical grip started to fly about the room, organizing themselves and putting themselves away. "No. I was too busy budgeting OUR finances." Amethyst said with a scowl.
"Eww. Numbers." At this, Ember smirked, reaching behind her and pulling out a cup, which she placed on Amethyst's desk.
Amethyst stopped sorting papers, her ears perking up as she sniffed. "What's...that?" She pointed at the cup.
"Moonbuck's Quadresspresso." Ember said, looking smug. "Thought I might stop by and pick you up some, good thing I did. Looks like you need it."
Amethyst's mind was racing. She quickly went through a mental list of Moonbuck's coffee prices, all of them coming up as being rather...Expensive. And a Quadresspresso sounded at least four times worse...Amethyst was silent for a moment.
"...Ember?" Amethyst asked, her voice calm.
"Yeah Ammy?"
"How...how did you pay for this?"
"Oh!" Ember's ears perked. "Well I knew they were having a sale this morning, their new line for half off! That's only three bits each! So I went ahead and took six bits out of our funds, and I bought us both a cup." As she said this, she produced another cup. She held it in her hoof, gesturing towards Amethyst. "Cheers? C'mon, you know you need it. You're always cranky in the morning."
Amethyst couldn't respond. Her eye started twitching like mad though, and she suddenly started stalking towards Ember with an almost predatory gleam in her eye.
"I...NEED...it?"
Ember, suddenly much less confident in her choice, folded her ears against her head as she took a few steps back. "Uh...yeah...y'know...help wake you up and...stuff?" She smiled meekly. "I knew I should have gone to Dunkin' Joe's…" Amethyst's scowl only deepened.
"Do you know what I NEED, Ember?"
"Air? Food? Sleep?" Ember stifled a grin. "Potty time?"
Amethyst bared her teeth ."That. Was. A. Rhetorical. Question."
Ember gulped.
"What I NEED, is money. Money pays our bills. MONEY, pays for this building we're currently running out of. MONEY," she was up in Ember's face now, very close to pressing their faces together, "is what keeps us from becoming HOBOS ON THE STREET, MONEY IS WHAT KEEPS US GOING! AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID?!" Amethyst's mane and horn began sparking with electricity as she ground her teeth together. Ember's eyes bulged.
"YOU SPENT THE ONLY MONEY WE HAD ON TWO CUPS OF COFFEE, BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?!"
Ember gently offered her cup of coffee to Amethyst. "...If it makes you feel any better, you can have mine too?"
Amethyst took several deep breaths, her mane and horn continuing to spark with electricity. She started shaking, and she grabbed Ember around the neck with her hooves.
"I AM GOING TO M—"
"Um...excuse me, is this A&E Investigations?"
Amethyst and Ember looked over to the doorway, where a yellowish earth pony stood. Her mane and tail were two tones of red, one a deep red and the other almost pink. Her cutie mark was a lone rose.
Nopony moved for several seconds. Amethyst remained with her hooves wrapped around Ember's throat, and Ember looked like she might cry.
Then, quick as a flash Amethyst shot over to her desk, bearing a smile. The sudden action caused Ember to fall to the ground with a rather loud crash, since Amethyst was holding her up. Amethyst ignored it. "Why, yes it is! How can I help you?"
The pony watched as Ember flailed on the floor for a moment, sending papers flying everywhere once more before she shot upright as well, sporting an equally big smile. "How may WE help you?"
The mare backed up a bit, looking shocked. "I...hope I wasn't interrupting anything?"
"Oh not at all!" Amethyst spoke up, waving it off with a hoof. "My partner and I were just having a bit of a...discussion!"
"Oh...okay. I… really don't know the protocol here."
Ember smiled, walking over to the mare and placing a hoof on her shoulder. "Why don't you take a seat over here and tell us what's going on." She guided the client over to chair across from Amethyst's.
"Thank you," she said, taking her seat. "Okay, I guess I should start at the beginning."
"That would be best," Amethyst muttered, grudgingly taking a long draught from the Quadresspresso. She almost dropped the cup, and turned to Ember, eyes wide.
Ember took a sip of her own and nodded, mouthing, "Goooooood…"
"Well, it all started about two weeks ago. I run a flowershop, you see. 'Roseluck's Bouquets.' I'm Roseluck, by the way." She gave a shy smile.
"Pleased to meet you Roseluck, I'm Am—"
"It's a delight to meet you Rose! I must say, your store is lovely! I've walked by before, but haven't had a chance to stop by." Ember batted her eyelids, completely ignoring the fact that she'd cut Amethyst off so rudely. "My name is Ember, and this is my colleague Amethyst."
"It's nice to meet you." Rose smiled more broadly now.
"Please, go on. I didn't mean to interrupt." Ember gave a smooth grin as she pulled up a chair beside Roseluck and slipped into it, all the while looking into Roseluck's eyes.
"Thanks," the other mare replied, giggling and adjusting her mane. "Anyways, it started at the shop two weeks ago. I'd come in early in the morning to open, around six since we had a shipment coming in, and the whole place had been turned upside down."
Amethyst took another sip of coffee. "Thieves. What did they take?"
Roseluck turned her head. "What? No, there weren't any thieves."
"But you just said that they turned the place upside down." Ember said, eyebrows raised.
"Yeah, I did. What do thieves have to do with that?" Roseluck asked, gaze flitting between the two ponies.
Amethyst set the coffee down and put her head in her hoof. "I think I missed a step. You came to the shop, and you found what exactly?"
Roseluck sighed. "It's just like the police all over again. Okay, let me slow it down. I came in at six. The place was upside down. I freaked out."
"Wait. When you say that it was 'turned upside down… Do you mean that metaphorically, like saying 'I turned the place upside down looking for it,' or something like that?" Ember asked slowly.
Roseluck shook her head. "No. Literally, everything in the store was turned upside down."
Ember dropped her coffee, spilling it all over her scarf. Amethyst blinked, leaning back in her chair.
"...Huh."
"Oh, let me help you with that!" Roseluck pulled out a handkerchief from her saddlebag and handed it to Ember, who gave a small smile in thanks, while still wincing from the burn as she wiped away the spilled coffee.
"Pony breaks into store… Turns everything upside down…" Amethyst muttered as she jotted down some quick notes. "Ember spills half of the company's money…" Ember shot her a glare.
"Yeah it doesn't make much sense to us either." Roseluck said as she climbed back into her chair. "But it's rather annoying and, well, I'd rather NOT have to re-plant all of my flowers every morning, so if it's not too much trouble…?"
"Wait… Every morning?" Amethyst gazed over her notepad as she chewed the eraser of her pencil.
"Yeah, they come back every night and do it again. And not just to me! There are several other stores that get hit too."
Amethyst looked over to Ember, who had turned her head to give Amethyst a look that said 'really?' "Let me consult my associate."
Amethyst picked Ember up in her magic and carried her back into the interrogation room with her, shutting the door behind them.
"Of all of the weirdest things…" Ember mumbled, looking annoyed.
"A job's a job." Amethyst said, frowning a bit.
"Still, this is like...who DOES that?! It's not just weird, it's...how is that even a crime? Are we even getting paid for it?!" Ember poked her head out of the interrogation room. "We ARE getting paid for this, right? She may be hot, but that doesn't mean we work for free." Ember shook her hoof. "Speaking of hot…" She blew on the slightly burned hoof.
"Oh, grow up." Amethyst growled. "Let's ask her. If she can pay, I say we take it. Because, frankly, we don't have an alternate revenue streams at this present juncture."
"That's Fancy for, 'We're broke,' right?" Ember asked.
"Eeyup."
"Oh, good. Glad that part of me can still guess what you mean or want." She glared at her partner pointedly.
Amethyst sighed. "Sorry." She then exited the room and walked back up to Roseluck.
"Miss Luck," she began.
"Oh, please, call me Rose." The earth pony looked directly at Ember as she spoke. "All my friends do."
"Okay then. Miss Rose, I have to be honest with you. We're a business. We have costs and expenses. If we're to help you out, there would be a fee. BUT. If we help you, we won't stop until this… fiend… is caught. When we finish with him, he'll never bother you or your fellow businessponies ever again."
Roseluck met Amethyst's eyes. "That's all I need to hear. Just let us know what it takes. The police couldn't help us, so we're willing to do whatever it takes to get this creep gone."
"Perfect! Miss Rose…" Amethyst spoke, puffing out her chest as she spoke. "The A&E Investigations is on your case! Now we just need to fill out the paperwork!"
"Aaaaaaand that's my cue." Ember walked over to her chair, sat down and pulled out the latest issue of 'Modern Mare' as Amethyst set a massive sheaf of paper down upon the desk.
The sound of Roseluck's door chime filled her store as the three mares entered. "I'm going to need to check for hoofprints, if there are any. Usually amateur criminals leave behind telltale...hoofprints…" Amethyst's voice trailed off as they were met with the innards of Roseluck's store. True to her word, every single thing in the store that was capable of moving was inverted.
The shelves that normally hosted a wide variety of plants were turned with their tops on the ground, the plants still somehow staying aligned in a perfect row, despite their upside down position.
The front desk was also turned onto its top, and some of the stand alone plants in the shop had their pots inverted, with the flowers sticking out from the bottom rather than the top.
"I stopped bothering to change it after the first few nights, so I just coped with it." Roseluck mumbled, frowning.
"I like it. It's hipster," Ember said. She flashed Roseluck yet another coy smile. Rose blushed crimson, but Amethyst only sighed in exasperation.
"We're supposed to be stopping the criminal. Not complementing his work."
Ember mumbled something under her breath, but Amethyst ignored it. "You said this has been happening for two weeks now?"
"Yeah," Rose replied. "Two weeks and two days. Trust me, you don't forget when something like this starts happening."
"Interesting…" Amethyst etched a few notes into her levitated pad. "And you contacted the police immediately after the initial incident?"
Roseluck sat down behind her counter, placing her head in her hooves. "Of course. They sent over two 'detectives' who dusted for prints, took notes, asked questions, and drank all my coffee. They came back each time I reported it, every morning, and always did the exact same thing. Nothing." She banged her head on the counter, or what now functioned as the counter but had once been the underside of said countertop. "Please tell me that you two can do better."
Amethyst nodded, taking more notes. "Oh, definitely. You see, we get paid to solve cases, not drink everypony's coffee."
"Although I really wouldn't mind some coffee, if you have any!" Ember grinned, striding over to the counter. "I never got to finish mine earlier."
Rose stood up with a laugh. "Well, I certainly don't mind getting you some coffee." She winked, but the caught Amethyst's eye. "I mean, you two some coffee!" She trotted on over to her coffee machine, placed it rightside-up, and set it to brewing. "So, what will you be looking for in here?"
"Anything." Ember spoke this time, lifting up an inverted pot to look under it. "You wouldn't believe the amount of stuff suspects leave behind sometimes, a stray hair or hoofprint can easily be I.D'd."
"Well, it would," Amethyst muttered. "But this is a public place, Ember. There are probably dozens of hoofprints and stray hairs all over the place…"
"Oh." Ember deflated. "Yeah, I totally knew that."
"Right. But, here's the thing. We can look in those weird places, the places that nopony would ever touch unless they were, say…" She walked over to a shelf and levitated it up, pointing at the metal piece that held it against the wall. "...flipping over a display shelf."
Amethyst whipped out a spray bottle from her saddlebag and coated the shelf with a fine layer of glowing azure dust.
"What's that?" Rose asked walking over to the other mare.
"Hoofprint dusting spray. They make it out in Canterlot. You just coat the object like so, and any hoofprints appear!" True to her word, a glowing red stain appeared on the shelf, with completely visible lines showing upon it. "And what's really interesting is the spell that is placed on it. It glows a different color depending on the cutie mark of the pony that made the print!"
"Oh, neat!" Rose smiled. "So, since this one is the same color as my cutie mark, does that mean that it's from me?"
"Exactly!" Ember said, walking toward the other two. "Beauty AND brains." She batted her eyelids as the two stood nearly snout to snout.
"Ember, please dust the other side of the store. Now." Amethyst gave her partner a spray bottle and a glare.
"Yes, oh great and powerful mistress." Ember winked and snapped her tail in the air before fluttering over to the window display and beginning her spraying.
"I'm really sorry about her, Ms. Rose. She's always like this. Always." Amethyst sighed.
Rose watched the whistling pegasus mare with a smile. "Oh, I don't mind. After those boring police stallions, it's much better to have somepony more… my type hanging about in the store."
Amethysts shook her head. "If you say so…"
The two investigators spent the next half-hour in utter silence, turning things back right-side up and dusting every inch of the floor, walls, and all surfaces for any sort of evidence.
After a bit, Amethyst stood up, her fedora tilted awkwardly on her head. She adjusted it before trotting up to Ember, who was near the back of the store.
"You get anything?" Ember asked, sipping her coffee. "Mmm, a hint of petals…"
"No. A bunch of unmatched prints, a ton of Ms. Rose's, but no duplicates on anything besides her stock that any customers would be touching. You?"
"Not one bit. Although I did find some lovely lilies over there. I may buy some to send to my mom. I'll have to ask the shopkeeper the price," Ember replied, grinning lewdly.
Amethyst met her gaze cooly. "Can you please grow up for at least two seconds? You may be playing a game, but I don't think she is." They both looked over at their client, who was busy adjusting her displays. She met their gaze and gave a kind-hearted wave.
"Who said anything about games?" Ember whispered, returning the wave.
"Fine. Tell yourself that. But when the inevitable happens, don't expect any consolation from me." Amethyst growled. She shook her head, looking around the store. "I hate to say this, but there may be no evidence in here, at least not anything physical…" She put her spray back into her saddlebag. "Let me try something."
Amethyst trotted into the center of the store, spreading her legs wide and closing her eyes in concentration. She took a deep breath, and when she breathed out her horn lit up with a telltale azure glow of her magic, before it gathered at the very tip of her horn. Amethyst stood tall, aiming her horn at the roof. Then, the spell flew, striking the roof of the shop and following along the walls and floor, until the entirety of Roseluck's store was surrounded in a veil of azure magic.
"Now, if I can filter out our recent sprayings…" Amethyst mumbled, closing her eyes in concentration once more. In a flash, several objects in the store lit up brightly, each one a different color. They glowed as if being manipulated by magic. In one particular area of the store there was a distortion of air, surrounded by a purple aura. "Teleportation…" Amethyst mumbled. "...and levitation." Several other areas of the magic field also looked whited out, brighter than the rest. They all also had different shades and colors. "Illumination." Amethyst mumbled again, her brow creasing. A set of numbers suddenly appeared, levitating around the room. They switched places, as the subtraction symbol changed to addition. "Calculation." Amethyst spoke a little more loudly.
Amethyst frowned, but remained in her position with her eyes closed. Slowly, a bead of sweat rolled down her forehead, and she released a held-in breath. The azure magic surrounding the shop faded as she did. When she opened her eyes, Ember was in her face, smiling broadly.
"That. Was. Awesome!" Amethyst blinked, watching Ember practically dance in place. "I've never seen you use a spell like that before! You got him right? Who are we going after?"
Amethyst groaned and wiped her brow with her fedora. "No, I didn't get him. No spells out of the ordinary were cast in the local area in over two days."
"Drat." Ember flicked her mane back. "So, that means that he didn't use magic, right?"
"Yes."
"Yes, he didn't use magic, or yes, he DID use magic?" Ember cocked her head sideways.
"Ember… I'm really not in the mood." Amethyst strode over to Roseluck. "I'm sorry Ms. Rose, but we didn't find anything. The perp didn't use magic to flip everything over, and he left no hoofprints. He must be either a pegasi or an earth pony wearing gloves. My guess is pegasi. They're the only ones crazy enough to do stuff like this."
"It's true." Ember nodded. "Cray-cray pride!"
"That's not a compliment," Amethyst seethed.
Ember snorted. "That's what you think." She walked over toward Roseluck. "Rosy, you said that there were several other stores that were hit too?"
"Yeah, I did. Quills and Sofas, Time Turner's Hourglass Repair, Mr. Mart's Hole in the Wall, and Bonbon's Sweetshoppe."
Amethyst adjusted her fedora. "Well. We'll have to check them all out. No stone unturned, after all. Let's go get this perp."
"Ammy, we can't keep calling him 'perp.' He's a pony too. He needs a name!" Ember giggled. "I vote for calling him Frank!"
"Frank. Um, no. First off, he's a criminal. Criminals get called 'perp.' That was the deal. You name the furniture in the office, and I call all the bad guys 'perp.' And second, there may be a name that perfectly describes somepony who obsessive-compulsively disorders everything around him, but Frank isn't it. C'mon. Let's go hit the Hourglass Repair shop. There's no way he was perfect everywhere."
"How was he perfect EVERYWHERE!?" Amethyst screamed pounding her head against a wall. "Six hours. Five businesses. NOTHING!"
"Well, I wouldn't say nothing." Ember smiled, munching on a cookie. "That wonderful couple at the sweetshoppe gave us all these snacks! And seeing every single quill in Quills and Sofas turned upside down was pretty funny too. Did you see that purple unicorn turning them all rightside up? Man, that was hilarious."
"Nothing. Not a single thing." Amethyst whacked her head against the building again. "Well, I guess that leaves us no choice…"
"Obviously, there is only one choice left."
"I know you hate these things…"
"But it has to be done."
"Yeah. Guess we better get ready."
"I just hope they don't forget the lettuce this time."
Amethyst turned to her partner. "What. What are you talking about?"
"Going to Burger Princess for dinner! The only option that is left! I'm hungry!" As if to emphasize this, Ember's stomach growled. "What are YOU talking about?"
"A STAKEOUT!"
"Ooooooh… Okay. But can we grab some Burger Princess first? I'm really hankering for a Hay-Whopper." Ember grinned.
"Fine. We can get some Burger Princess. But then…" Amethyst spun around heroically, trenchcoat flapping in the air. She struck a pose and tilted her fedora rakishly. "...a stakeout."
Ember rolled her eyes. "What a drama queen."
Amethyst smacked her.
The following is a fanfic of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I know the rules already say it but I'm going to say it here too just to make sure the point gets across, please don't hate. If you see something that you dislike in my fic then please word it in constructive criticism. I don't acknowledge trolls or people who are just being rude for the sake of it, so be polite and constructive or you'll be ignored and maybe reported if you persist.
This is not just my fanfic. This is a collaboration effort between myself and Doccular42, this fic can also be accessed on fimfiction here. This is an ongoing fanfiction, and as such there are only 2 chapters, but I'll post them both here.
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Plot
Amethyst Breeze and Ember are two detective mares who recently established a Private Investigator's office in Ponyville. Low on funds, the two mares take almost any job, so long as it pays. However, when things in Ponyville start getting turned upside down, literally, the two mares discover that they may have bit off more than they can chew...
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And without further ado, let's begin.
A & E: The Case of the Obsessive Compulsive Disorderer
Chapter 0: Prologue
The pale light from the moon shone down upon a grungy alleyway. The wind blew an old, rotting trashbag across the ground. A cat screeched off in the distance, but the mare in the silver fedora paid it no mind. She focused her gaze upon the alleyway before her, razing her head as her gaze moved down the alley, across the street, and into the nightclub that lay beyond.
The night was perfect for a stakeout.
The mare tilted her head to the side, listening to the blaring music and loud cheers coming from within the building. She took a step forward, her trenchcoat billowing in the soft breeze as she reached for her—
"I'm so boooooooored, Ammy!"
Amethyst Breeze, private investigator sighed, removing her fedora with a frown. "Ember, I told you that you could wait back by the restaurant, but YOU wanted to be here for the action."
A pale yellow pegasus flapped over beside Amethyst, giving her a glare. "Yeah, for the action. Not for you standing around like some heroic action… hero…" Ember finished lamely.
Amethyst snorted. "And you call yourself a smooth talker…" She reached to the device hanging around her neck and lifted them to her eyes.
The binoculars produced clicked as Amethyst's vision zoomed, narrowing down to look through the window of the dingy bar.
Inside sat several stallions, many mares, and even a few foals. A family bar, Amethyst noted. That would make things a bit more difficult…
"So, uh, are we just going to stand out in the open? It's kind of chilly out…" Ember shook her red mane while she adjusted her beret and pulled her ever-so-chic scarf tighter around her. "Oh, and it's also kinda conspicuous, two mares standing in an alley all creepy-like."
Amethyst growled. "Fine." She cooly strode out onto the sidewalk that bordered the main road. Then, quick as a flash, she slipped behind a bush, crouching confidently. She turned to the other mare and cocked her head to the side.
Ember took her time as she sauntered over to the private eye. A passing stallion turned his head and gave a long whistle. Ember tossed her mane back, and blinked her long eyelashes at him before reaching Amethyst.
"Okay, when we get back to the office, you are SO going to have to look up the definition of 'stealth,' because I'm pretty sure you have no idea what it means!" Amethyst hissed.
"'Stealth: Cautious and surreptitious action or movement." Ember smirked. "I know what it means. I just don't need to employ it. Have you even seen my mane? Stallions eat it up!"
"Grrrr…" Amethyst pointedly ignored her partner as she resumed gazing into the nightclub. She lifted the binoculars up to her eyes once more.
"Okay, it looks like we've got a couple bouncers at the door… Barkeep has a buzzer under the counter… You can tell, just by the way he keeps glancing over at that drunk guy and how he's positioning himself at the bar. He's uncomfortable and antsy. Couple of stallions in there, but I don't see our guy yet…" Amethyst gazed about the room, eyes set in total concentration as every bit of her willpower focused in on—"
"Is it my turn yet?"
Amethyst groaned as she smacked her hoof into her face. "Ember. Use your brain and exercise your Celestia given right to remain silent." She looked back into the bar.
"... your face's right to remain silent…"
"What was that?"
"Nothing!" Ember smiled brilliantly, blinking her eyes.
Amethyst resumed her scan of the club. "Not him… not him… not him… Wait, I think that's him!" A gangly yellow earth pony stallion came into her view, and her binoculars froze on him. "Orange mane. Freckles. Really thin. Stupid dorky hat and vest. It's our stallion."
"Sooo… does that mean that it's my turn? 'Cause you really need to practice your sharing more. Now's as good a time as any!"
Amethyst lowered the binoculars and took a deep breath. "Ember, this isn't something to take lightly. Mrs. Cake trusted us with finding out about Mr. Cake's nightly excursions, and it is our responsibility to ensure— HEY!"
In a split second, Ember had swiped the binoculars from Amethyst and started hovering several feet above the bush they were supposed to be hiding in, her wings flapping lightly. She blinked.
"Is THAT him? I can't imagine why any mare would want a piece of—" Ember's words were cut off as Amethyst yanked her overly enthusiastic partner's tail using her azure magic. She dragged the startled pegasus back down into the bush with a yelp.
"Keep it down would you?!" She spoke in a harsh whisper. "This is supposed to be a stakeout! You raise your voice any louder and you'll give away our position!"
"Seriously! You messed up my tail!" Ember whined, dropping the binoculars to clutch at her slightly messed up hair. "Aww, now I have to re-curl it when we get back to the office…" She glared at the unicorn. "Thanks."
"You're welcome." Amethyst rolled her eyes, ignoring her friend's plight as she secured the binocular's strap firmly around her neck and raised the binoculars yet again. She narrowed her eyes, watching as Mr. Cake sat down at a table across from a pink poofy-haired mare.
"I think I might have something…" Amethyst mumbled, clicking the binoculars a few more times. "...she's facing away from me though, I can't tell who it is."
As Amethyst watched, the pink mare leaned across the table to whisper into Mr. Cake's ear. Mr. Cake gave her a confused look before nodding, reaching around behind him to put a small bag on the table. The pink mare bounced up and down suddenly, putting another bag on the table. Amethyst could tell by the way it sagged, the bag was full of-
"Bits." Amethyst spoke, frowning. Suddenly, Ember jerked her hard to the side, forcing her to press up against the yellow pegasus as she took the binoculars by force. Ember looked through them, nearly choking Amethyst.
"Oooo, a conspiracy!" Ember said, sporting a grin now. "Things are heating up! I wonder what they'll do next…"
Amethyst struggled for a moment before pulling herself out of the strap, frowning deeply as she adjusted her fedora back onto her head. "Yes, well, in any case we need to figure out what's in that bag. Do you think you can get your hooves on the bag that Mr. Cake gave to our mystery mare? I'll try to stall Mr. Cake."
"Mystery mare no more! I know her! That's Pinkie Pie!" Ember said, continuing with her goofy grin as she leaned forward. "Mr. Cake is hittin' it with the Element of Laughter! Yeah, that's it, lean in closer… Ooh..."
Amethyst took the binoculars back, tucking it into her trench coat as she smacked Ember on the back of her head. "Keep your mind ON THE MISSION, Ember. Did you even hear a word I said?"
"Get the bag from Pinkie Pie, yes I heard you." Ember grumbled. "You know, if we just wait a little bit and catch them in the heat of the moment… That would probably work best for us!"
"Mind on mission. Not in gutter. Anyways, we need physical evidence to strengthen our case." Amethyst said, turning towards the bar. "Give me a second to think…"
Amethyst considered her options. The target still sat in the booth, sorting through his new bag of whatever illicit materials he had just procured, while his contact, accomplice, marefriend, or whatever walked away from the booth and sat at the bar. She sorted through the bag with an inane grin on her face.
"Okay, here's the plan. Right now, all we have to go on is what little we've seen. We don't have proof, and we don't know anything that we can bring to the client. And if somepony hadn't dropped our camera, I wouldn't have to suggest this, but I think we have to—"
"Wasn't my fault… It was that stupid rock…"
"—we have to get whatever's in those bags."
Ember did a double take. "Wait, what? Like, steal them?"
"Yes, steal them. I know, it's wrong and we could get in trouble, but—"
"This is the best case EVER! Usually you yell at me whenever I suggest taking something, or knocking somepony out, or drop the camera, but this time I get to take stuff, and you're telling me to do it!" Ember fell to the ground and giggled like a filly. She then stood up, dusting herself off. "So, do you want me to seduce him, and get his stuff?"
Amethyst looked at the other mare, totally unamused. "No. You'll take Pinkie. We're here to prevent infidelity, not cause it."
Ember nodded. "You're right. This flank is just too sexy and tempting. Better to seduce Pinkie instead."
Amethyst facehoofed once more. "No. Just… no. Get the bag, and get out. I'll handle Mr. Cake. No seducing, no snogging, and no knocking anypony out. I'd tell you not to break the camera, but it's too late for that."
Ember pursed her lips. "Spoilsport."
"Just get the bag and I'll stall our suspect."
"Fine." With that, Ember headed for the bar and Amethyst raised her binoculars, this time uninterrupted.
Ember was able to get in through the front, Amethyst noticed. The pink pony stood up from the bar and started walking for the exit. Perfect. She turned her gaze just in time to witness Mr. Cake heading for the back exit. She lowered her binoculars crept toward the back door.
Pinkie Pie was bouncing to the door, a happy yet oblivious expression on her face when Amethyst saw her suddenly bump into somepony, causing the contents of her bag to spill out all across the floor.
"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!" Ember said to the party mare, bending down to pick things up with her teeth.
"Aw it's okay" Pinkie said, beginning to pick things up as well. "Sometimes, bumping into ponies is the best way to make a new friend!"
Amethyst smirked. She may be annoying at times, but Ember could get the job done when it counted. She cracked her neck as she gazed at the front door. She stood up against the wall, the light from the streetlamps blocked by the building next to her. She smirked… and waited.
A moment later, Mr. Cake stepped out the back door, turning to leave but stopping as Amethyst's shadowed figure approached him. "Mr. Cake, I presume?" Amethyst asked. She could tell exactly what the stallion was thinking. Noticing her silver fedora and trenchcoat silhouetted against the faint light from the lamps. Trying to recognize her, but failing. Fearing.
"Y-yes, but who's asking?"
A badge suddenly levitated out of the mare's pocket- covered in an azure magical aura as it presented itself. "Amethyst Breeze, Private Investigator. I recently set up shop here in Ponyville. I'm just curious as to what a family stallion like yourself is doing at a family bar without a family at this time of night." Amethyst asked, cokcing an eyebrow. "Seems kind of strange."
Meanwhile, back in the bar Ember had almost finished picking the contents of Pinkie's bag up. "I really am sorry though Pinkie, I can be such a clutz sometimes." She batted her eyelids at the earthpony, who seemed to not notice, until—
Pinkie's sudden gasp caused Ember to take a step back. At first, she felt afraid that she'd been caught, but then Pinkie was an inch from a face. "You know my name, but I don't know your name! Are you new here in Ponyville? Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie! But I guess you already knew that. Oh my gosh, I can't believe we have ANOTHER new pony! I mean, I thought something was going on because I got a twitchy eye the other day and my Pinkie sense NEVER lies, but anyways, how would you like it if I threw you a welcome to Ponyville party?!"
Ember blinked a couple of times, trying to process everything the hyperactive pink mare just said before giving a smile. "Um...sure?" And with that the mare was gone in an almost cartoonish trail of smoke. Ember blinked a few times, before looking down at the bag she managed to pick up before Pinkie. "Doesn't matter, got what I wanted." she grinned. "Darn. Didn't get to do any seducing though… Ammy'll be pleased. Drat."
Back in the alleyway, Mr. Cake backed up against the wall beside the door. "There's nothing strange about it!" Mr. Cake said, looking a bit nervous. "I just had some things I needed to take care of."
"Some things. You know, back in Manehattan they are a lot less tolerant of cheating stallions." Amethyst smiled grimly as she saw her words take effect.
A look of horror spread across Mr. Cake's face. "Cheating? What? I would never!"
"Oh don't play coy with me Mr. Cake," Amethyst spoke, poking a hoof into his chest. "We saw you in there! Mrs. Cake hired us to find out what you've been up to, and I'd say a meeting with the Element of Laughter in a family bar in the dead of night qualifies as 'suspicious!' "
"What?!" Mr. Cake said, looking angry now. Amethyst took a few steps back as Mr. Cake stammered. "You've got it all wrong Ms. Breeze! All I'm really doing is—"
And then the door opened, smacking directly into Mr. Cake's face and rendering him immediately unconscious.
"Ammy!" Ember yelled, holding the door open with her hoof. "I got the goods! Did you-" She glanced behind the door all of a sudden, letting out a low whistle. "Wow Ammy, you really did a number on him! I thought you said no knocking anypony out though. Not fair..."
Amethyst simply stared at Ember for a moment, her eye twitching slightly as she resisted the urge to facehoof.
"J-just… Let's just get him down to the office. Might as well ask him some questions…"
***
"I still can't believe you knocked him out…" Amethyst closed the office door behind her as she dragged the slumped body of Mr. Cake into the office.
"Hey, it was an accident! Anyways, YOU were supposed to knock him out! I guess you shouldn't trust a unicorn to do a pegasus' job." Ember leaned up against her desk while examining a slightly chipped hoof. She met Amethyst's glare with a grin. "Seriously. Get your head in the game, Ammy. Or in the gutter and out of the mission, as you said earlier."
"That's not what I— Oh, never mind." Amethyst leaned the poor stallion up against a wall. "Anyways, I was never going to hit him! We don't do violence! Violence isn't the answer!"
Ember blew out a snort. "'Violence isn't the answer.' Listen to yourself! As Sun Zoo said in his masterpiece, 'The Art of War,' 'If violence isn't the answer, you're asking the wrong question.'" The pegasus nodded sagely.
For the third time that night, Amethyst slapped her forehead with her hoof. "I don't even know how to reply to that…"
"There is no reply. Sun is the master, especially if you read it in the original Saddle Arabian."
"HE WASN'T EVEN SADDLE ARABIAN!" Amethyst shouted, slamming a second hoof to her forehead.
Ember gave her partner a quick hug and a smile. "Aww, it's past somepony's bedtime! Widdle Ammy, are you gwumpy when you'we tiwed?" She pinched the unicorn's cheek.
"Just… go talk to the client while I set Mr. Cake up in the interrogation room…"
"Alrighty!" Ember skipped off into a side room, leaving Amethyst to stare down at the now drooling stallion.
"Sweet Celestia, why does this always happen to us… Or at least to me..."
She dragged Mr. Cake and set him down on the stool inside what passed for the team's interrogation room. A single table, with two chairs on one side and a stool on the other, sat in the middle of the room. Three of the walls were bare, but the fourth bore a one way mirror, behind which would be seated Mrs. Cake.
"Alright Ember. Let's get this show on the road." The pegasus strode happily into the room and slammed the door.
Amethyst grabbed a cup of water from the table and splashed it into Mr. Cake's face. He sputtered, coming to wakefulness.
"Welcome back to the land of the living, Mr. Cake." Amethyst spoke calmly, a serious expression on her face as Mr.Cake looked around wildly.
"What…? How did...where…?"
"We'll be the ones asking the questions, Mr. Cake. It's simply your job to answer."
Mr.Cake blanched for a second before sputtering and pointing a hoof at the two mares. "You assaulted me! You knocked me unconscious!"
"Actually, that was a door." Ember spoke up, looking sheepish. "And an accident. Didn't know you were on the other side. Sorry." Amethyst glared at her, but she continued anyways. "But that's not why we're here! What we want to know is why a married stallion is out so late at night seeing other mares?"
Mr. Cake froze in his seat, some sweat beginning to form on his brow. "I-I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't been seeing other mares…"
"I suppose you wouldn't know anything about this either then." Ember threw a bag onto the table, causing Mr. Cake to gasp. It made a sound akin to coins shifting around onto the table. "Where did you get that?! I gave that to—!" He quickly covered his mouth with his hooves.
"Pinkie Pie. We know." Amethyst spoke up, a bag levitating next to her. "And she gave you this in return, didn't she?" She tossed the bag onto the table alongside the other bag. It maged barely any noise as it touched the table.
"Those could have come from anywhere…!"
"Oh would you just cut the crap?" Ember spoke, suddenly slamming both hooves onto the table as she leaned forward to look Mr. Cake in the eyes. "Just be a stallion and own up to what you've been doing! That's at least a lot more interesting than playing a clueless coward who's afraid to look his own wife in the eye, isn't it?!"
Mr. Cake shifted his gaze nervously back and forth between the two mares before finally letting out a wailing cry and shouted, "OKAY, I ADMIT IT! I'VE BEEN PLANNING A SURPRISE ANNIVERSARY PARTY FOR MY HONEYBUN WITH PINKIE PIE FOR WEEKS NOW! I JUST WANTED TO MAKE HER HAPPYYYY…" He erupted into tears about halfway through his shouting.
Amethyst nodded her head, smiling at the stallion. "See, isn't owning up to what you've done better tha—" She paused for a moment as her brain took a moment to process everything he had just said. "Wait...what?"
Ember blinked, before withdrawing herself from the table, and uttering "...Oh."
Suddenly, the door to the interrogation room burst open as Mrs. Cake galloped in, embracing Mr. Cake in a massive hug.
"Ohhhh, Sugar Bear!!! I should've known better than to doubt you! I am sooooo sorry!"
"I'm sorry for being so secretive honey bun! I should've let you know what I was up to!" The two held each other for a long time, exchanging nicknames for each other and looked on the edge of tears.
Amethyst turned the bag with the coins upside down… And a huge pile of Monopoly money fell out. "Wha—"
"Pinkie was giving me the invitations tonight, but she wanted that toy money that the babies had taken to play with back in return! She said she'd been reading some spy novels and wanted to set up a big spy meet, so I decided to humor her! Oh, I'm so sorry Sugarbooger!"
Amethyst grimly emptied the other bag too. A pile of pink invitations bearing the huge words, 'YOU'RE INVITED!' spilled out. "Oh boy."
Ember looked like she was about to vomit as she looked at the two slobbery ponies across the room. She stayed silent for a moment, but she mustered up the strength to ask something.
"...So...we still get paid right?"
The two broke their love fest for a moment to speak to each other in hushed tones before turning to the two mares.
"NO!" They both shouted in unison, causing Amethyst and Ember's ears to fold back against their heads.
"Poop." Ember spoke, kicking at the floor with her hoof and receiving a punch in the side from Amethyst in turn.
--------------------------------------
Chapter 1
PONYVILLE, 9AM
PONYVILLE, 9AM
Morning had dawned upon Ponyville clear and bright. Pegasi flitted about the sky to attend to their early cloud clearing duties, earth ponies were up much earlier tending to their crops already, and many other ponies trotted through the streets going about their daily chores.
This would normally be around the time that Amethyst Breeze, Ponyville's private eye detective, along with her partner Ember, would be up and organizing the paperwork, as well as heading to the bulletin board to look for any new cases that may have been posted…
...If she weren't currently fast asleep, facedown and drooling on her desk, that is.
"Snrrk, huh…?" Amethyst awoke with a start, papers flying from the desk as she sat upright. Her eyes squinted, adjusting to the morning light. She yawned, stretching her legs out as she shook off the drowsy feeling that came from waking up after a deep sleep. She winced, and let out an annoyed snort as she felt a twinge of pain from her neck. She must have slept on it in an awkward position. With a deep sigh, she allowed her gaze to drift down to the desk upon which she had fallen asleep.
Arranged before her, albeit messily, were papers detailing their finances and savings. And from each and every single one of them the word "BROKE", capitalized in red with about three underlines beneath them, jumped out at her. Well, that wasn't the complete truth, Amethyst had done the calculations last night, and if she was right they had about six bits left.
Six bits was all she had to her company's name.
Amethyst rubbed her temples with her hooves, face planting onto the desk again as she tried to rub away a growing headache. Maybe moving shop to Ponyville wasn't such a good idea after all. It had looked like an excellent idea, on paper at least. Small town with trade routes to other small towns nearby, all without a single private investigator among them. Tiny police department, close proximity to a deadly hazard, and enough crazy antics from its citizens to make any competent mother quake in her shoes just to think about her children living in such a chaos-prone area.
Then why were there no cases? Amethyst groaned, letting her forehead thump the desk. Maybe it was time to consider—
Just then, the front door burst open, amplifying Amethyst's headache by about twenty times. "Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooood morning Ammy!" Ember's voice rang through the office, causing Amethyst to cringe.
"MUST YOU BE SO LOUD?!" Amethyst yelled, massaging her temples.
"Awww, widdle Ammy-Wammy didn't get much sleep last night did she? Actually…" Ember's gaze wandered around the office, noticing papers strewn everywhere, which usually meant Amethyst was neck deep in filing paperwork. "...did you even go home last night?"
Amethyst's horn lit up as papers in her magical grip started to fly about the room, organizing themselves and putting themselves away. "No. I was too busy budgeting OUR finances." Amethyst said with a scowl.
"Eww. Numbers." At this, Ember smirked, reaching behind her and pulling out a cup, which she placed on Amethyst's desk.
Amethyst stopped sorting papers, her ears perking up as she sniffed. "What's...that?" She pointed at the cup.
"Moonbuck's Quadresspresso." Ember said, looking smug. "Thought I might stop by and pick you up some, good thing I did. Looks like you need it."
Amethyst's mind was racing. She quickly went through a mental list of Moonbuck's coffee prices, all of them coming up as being rather...Expensive. And a Quadresspresso sounded at least four times worse...Amethyst was silent for a moment.
"...Ember?" Amethyst asked, her voice calm.
"Yeah Ammy?"
"How...how did you pay for this?"
"Oh!" Ember's ears perked. "Well I knew they were having a sale this morning, their new line for half off! That's only three bits each! So I went ahead and took six bits out of our funds, and I bought us both a cup." As she said this, she produced another cup. She held it in her hoof, gesturing towards Amethyst. "Cheers? C'mon, you know you need it. You're always cranky in the morning."
Amethyst couldn't respond. Her eye started twitching like mad though, and she suddenly started stalking towards Ember with an almost predatory gleam in her eye.
"I...NEED...it?"
Ember, suddenly much less confident in her choice, folded her ears against her head as she took a few steps back. "Uh...yeah...y'know...help wake you up and...stuff?" She smiled meekly. "I knew I should have gone to Dunkin' Joe's…" Amethyst's scowl only deepened.
"Do you know what I NEED, Ember?"
"Air? Food? Sleep?" Ember stifled a grin. "Potty time?"
Amethyst bared her teeth ."That. Was. A. Rhetorical. Question."
Ember gulped.
"What I NEED, is money. Money pays our bills. MONEY, pays for this building we're currently running out of. MONEY," she was up in Ember's face now, very close to pressing their faces together, "is what keeps us from becoming HOBOS ON THE STREET, MONEY IS WHAT KEEPS US GOING! AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID?!" Amethyst's mane and horn began sparking with electricity as she ground her teeth together. Ember's eyes bulged.
"YOU SPENT THE ONLY MONEY WE HAD ON TWO CUPS OF COFFEE, BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?!"
Ember gently offered her cup of coffee to Amethyst. "...If it makes you feel any better, you can have mine too?"
Amethyst took several deep breaths, her mane and horn continuing to spark with electricity. She started shaking, and she grabbed Ember around the neck with her hooves.
"I AM GOING TO M—"
"Um...excuse me, is this A&E Investigations?"
Amethyst and Ember looked over to the doorway, where a yellowish earth pony stood. Her mane and tail were two tones of red, one a deep red and the other almost pink. Her cutie mark was a lone rose.
Nopony moved for several seconds. Amethyst remained with her hooves wrapped around Ember's throat, and Ember looked like she might cry.
Then, quick as a flash Amethyst shot over to her desk, bearing a smile. The sudden action caused Ember to fall to the ground with a rather loud crash, since Amethyst was holding her up. Amethyst ignored it. "Why, yes it is! How can I help you?"
The pony watched as Ember flailed on the floor for a moment, sending papers flying everywhere once more before she shot upright as well, sporting an equally big smile. "How may WE help you?"
The mare backed up a bit, looking shocked. "I...hope I wasn't interrupting anything?"
"Oh not at all!" Amethyst spoke up, waving it off with a hoof. "My partner and I were just having a bit of a...discussion!"
"Oh...okay. I… really don't know the protocol here."
Ember smiled, walking over to the mare and placing a hoof on her shoulder. "Why don't you take a seat over here and tell us what's going on." She guided the client over to chair across from Amethyst's.
"Thank you," she said, taking her seat. "Okay, I guess I should start at the beginning."
"That would be best," Amethyst muttered, grudgingly taking a long draught from the Quadresspresso. She almost dropped the cup, and turned to Ember, eyes wide.
Ember took a sip of her own and nodded, mouthing, "Goooooood…"
"Well, it all started about two weeks ago. I run a flowershop, you see. 'Roseluck's Bouquets.' I'm Roseluck, by the way." She gave a shy smile.
"Pleased to meet you Roseluck, I'm Am—"
"It's a delight to meet you Rose! I must say, your store is lovely! I've walked by before, but haven't had a chance to stop by." Ember batted her eyelids, completely ignoring the fact that she'd cut Amethyst off so rudely. "My name is Ember, and this is my colleague Amethyst."
"It's nice to meet you." Rose smiled more broadly now.
"Please, go on. I didn't mean to interrupt." Ember gave a smooth grin as she pulled up a chair beside Roseluck and slipped into it, all the while looking into Roseluck's eyes.
"Thanks," the other mare replied, giggling and adjusting her mane. "Anyways, it started at the shop two weeks ago. I'd come in early in the morning to open, around six since we had a shipment coming in, and the whole place had been turned upside down."
Amethyst took another sip of coffee. "Thieves. What did they take?"
Roseluck turned her head. "What? No, there weren't any thieves."
"But you just said that they turned the place upside down." Ember said, eyebrows raised.
"Yeah, I did. What do thieves have to do with that?" Roseluck asked, gaze flitting between the two ponies.
Amethyst set the coffee down and put her head in her hoof. "I think I missed a step. You came to the shop, and you found what exactly?"
Roseluck sighed. "It's just like the police all over again. Okay, let me slow it down. I came in at six. The place was upside down. I freaked out."
"Wait. When you say that it was 'turned upside down… Do you mean that metaphorically, like saying 'I turned the place upside down looking for it,' or something like that?" Ember asked slowly.
Roseluck shook her head. "No. Literally, everything in the store was turned upside down."
Ember dropped her coffee, spilling it all over her scarf. Amethyst blinked, leaning back in her chair.
"...Huh."
"Oh, let me help you with that!" Roseluck pulled out a handkerchief from her saddlebag and handed it to Ember, who gave a small smile in thanks, while still wincing from the burn as she wiped away the spilled coffee.
"Pony breaks into store… Turns everything upside down…" Amethyst muttered as she jotted down some quick notes. "Ember spills half of the company's money…" Ember shot her a glare.
"Yeah it doesn't make much sense to us either." Roseluck said as she climbed back into her chair. "But it's rather annoying and, well, I'd rather NOT have to re-plant all of my flowers every morning, so if it's not too much trouble…?"
"Wait… Every morning?" Amethyst gazed over her notepad as she chewed the eraser of her pencil.
"Yeah, they come back every night and do it again. And not just to me! There are several other stores that get hit too."
Amethyst looked over to Ember, who had turned her head to give Amethyst a look that said 'really?' "Let me consult my associate."
Amethyst picked Ember up in her magic and carried her back into the interrogation room with her, shutting the door behind them.
"Of all of the weirdest things…" Ember mumbled, looking annoyed.
"A job's a job." Amethyst said, frowning a bit.
"Still, this is like...who DOES that?! It's not just weird, it's...how is that even a crime? Are we even getting paid for it?!" Ember poked her head out of the interrogation room. "We ARE getting paid for this, right? She may be hot, but that doesn't mean we work for free." Ember shook her hoof. "Speaking of hot…" She blew on the slightly burned hoof.
"Oh, grow up." Amethyst growled. "Let's ask her. If she can pay, I say we take it. Because, frankly, we don't have an alternate revenue streams at this present juncture."
"That's Fancy for, 'We're broke,' right?" Ember asked.
"Eeyup."
"Oh, good. Glad that part of me can still guess what you mean or want." She glared at her partner pointedly.
Amethyst sighed. "Sorry." She then exited the room and walked back up to Roseluck.
"Miss Luck," she began.
"Oh, please, call me Rose." The earth pony looked directly at Ember as she spoke. "All my friends do."
"Okay then. Miss Rose, I have to be honest with you. We're a business. We have costs and expenses. If we're to help you out, there would be a fee. BUT. If we help you, we won't stop until this… fiend… is caught. When we finish with him, he'll never bother you or your fellow businessponies ever again."
Roseluck met Amethyst's eyes. "That's all I need to hear. Just let us know what it takes. The police couldn't help us, so we're willing to do whatever it takes to get this creep gone."
"Perfect! Miss Rose…" Amethyst spoke, puffing out her chest as she spoke. "The A&E Investigations is on your case! Now we just need to fill out the paperwork!"
"Aaaaaaand that's my cue." Ember walked over to her chair, sat down and pulled out the latest issue of 'Modern Mare' as Amethyst set a massive sheaf of paper down upon the desk.
PONYVILLE MARKET SQUARE, 11AM
The sound of Roseluck's door chime filled her store as the three mares entered. "I'm going to need to check for hoofprints, if there are any. Usually amateur criminals leave behind telltale...hoofprints…" Amethyst's voice trailed off as they were met with the innards of Roseluck's store. True to her word, every single thing in the store that was capable of moving was inverted.
The shelves that normally hosted a wide variety of plants were turned with their tops on the ground, the plants still somehow staying aligned in a perfect row, despite their upside down position.
The front desk was also turned onto its top, and some of the stand alone plants in the shop had their pots inverted, with the flowers sticking out from the bottom rather than the top.
"I stopped bothering to change it after the first few nights, so I just coped with it." Roseluck mumbled, frowning.
"I like it. It's hipster," Ember said. She flashed Roseluck yet another coy smile. Rose blushed crimson, but Amethyst only sighed in exasperation.
"We're supposed to be stopping the criminal. Not complementing his work."
Ember mumbled something under her breath, but Amethyst ignored it. "You said this has been happening for two weeks now?"
"Yeah," Rose replied. "Two weeks and two days. Trust me, you don't forget when something like this starts happening."
"Interesting…" Amethyst etched a few notes into her levitated pad. "And you contacted the police immediately after the initial incident?"
Roseluck sat down behind her counter, placing her head in her hooves. "Of course. They sent over two 'detectives' who dusted for prints, took notes, asked questions, and drank all my coffee. They came back each time I reported it, every morning, and always did the exact same thing. Nothing." She banged her head on the counter, or what now functioned as the counter but had once been the underside of said countertop. "Please tell me that you two can do better."
Amethyst nodded, taking more notes. "Oh, definitely. You see, we get paid to solve cases, not drink everypony's coffee."
"Although I really wouldn't mind some coffee, if you have any!" Ember grinned, striding over to the counter. "I never got to finish mine earlier."
Rose stood up with a laugh. "Well, I certainly don't mind getting you some coffee." She winked, but the caught Amethyst's eye. "I mean, you two some coffee!" She trotted on over to her coffee machine, placed it rightside-up, and set it to brewing. "So, what will you be looking for in here?"
"Anything." Ember spoke this time, lifting up an inverted pot to look under it. "You wouldn't believe the amount of stuff suspects leave behind sometimes, a stray hair or hoofprint can easily be I.D'd."
"Well, it would," Amethyst muttered. "But this is a public place, Ember. There are probably dozens of hoofprints and stray hairs all over the place…"
"Oh." Ember deflated. "Yeah, I totally knew that."
"Right. But, here's the thing. We can look in those weird places, the places that nopony would ever touch unless they were, say…" She walked over to a shelf and levitated it up, pointing at the metal piece that held it against the wall. "...flipping over a display shelf."
Amethyst whipped out a spray bottle from her saddlebag and coated the shelf with a fine layer of glowing azure dust.
"What's that?" Rose asked walking over to the other mare.
"Hoofprint dusting spray. They make it out in Canterlot. You just coat the object like so, and any hoofprints appear!" True to her word, a glowing red stain appeared on the shelf, with completely visible lines showing upon it. "And what's really interesting is the spell that is placed on it. It glows a different color depending on the cutie mark of the pony that made the print!"
"Oh, neat!" Rose smiled. "So, since this one is the same color as my cutie mark, does that mean that it's from me?"
"Exactly!" Ember said, walking toward the other two. "Beauty AND brains." She batted her eyelids as the two stood nearly snout to snout.
"Ember, please dust the other side of the store. Now." Amethyst gave her partner a spray bottle and a glare.
"Yes, oh great and powerful mistress." Ember winked and snapped her tail in the air before fluttering over to the window display and beginning her spraying.
"I'm really sorry about her, Ms. Rose. She's always like this. Always." Amethyst sighed.
Rose watched the whistling pegasus mare with a smile. "Oh, I don't mind. After those boring police stallions, it's much better to have somepony more… my type hanging about in the store."
Amethysts shook her head. "If you say so…"
The two investigators spent the next half-hour in utter silence, turning things back right-side up and dusting every inch of the floor, walls, and all surfaces for any sort of evidence.
After a bit, Amethyst stood up, her fedora tilted awkwardly on her head. She adjusted it before trotting up to Ember, who was near the back of the store.
"You get anything?" Ember asked, sipping her coffee. "Mmm, a hint of petals…"
"No. A bunch of unmatched prints, a ton of Ms. Rose's, but no duplicates on anything besides her stock that any customers would be touching. You?"
"Not one bit. Although I did find some lovely lilies over there. I may buy some to send to my mom. I'll have to ask the shopkeeper the price," Ember replied, grinning lewdly.
Amethyst met her gaze cooly. "Can you please grow up for at least two seconds? You may be playing a game, but I don't think she is." They both looked over at their client, who was busy adjusting her displays. She met their gaze and gave a kind-hearted wave.
"Who said anything about games?" Ember whispered, returning the wave.
"Fine. Tell yourself that. But when the inevitable happens, don't expect any consolation from me." Amethyst growled. She shook her head, looking around the store. "I hate to say this, but there may be no evidence in here, at least not anything physical…" She put her spray back into her saddlebag. "Let me try something."
Amethyst trotted into the center of the store, spreading her legs wide and closing her eyes in concentration. She took a deep breath, and when she breathed out her horn lit up with a telltale azure glow of her magic, before it gathered at the very tip of her horn. Amethyst stood tall, aiming her horn at the roof. Then, the spell flew, striking the roof of the shop and following along the walls and floor, until the entirety of Roseluck's store was surrounded in a veil of azure magic.
"Now, if I can filter out our recent sprayings…" Amethyst mumbled, closing her eyes in concentration once more. In a flash, several objects in the store lit up brightly, each one a different color. They glowed as if being manipulated by magic. In one particular area of the store there was a distortion of air, surrounded by a purple aura. "Teleportation…" Amethyst mumbled. "...and levitation." Several other areas of the magic field also looked whited out, brighter than the rest. They all also had different shades and colors. "Illumination." Amethyst mumbled again, her brow creasing. A set of numbers suddenly appeared, levitating around the room. They switched places, as the subtraction symbol changed to addition. "Calculation." Amethyst spoke a little more loudly.
Amethyst frowned, but remained in her position with her eyes closed. Slowly, a bead of sweat rolled down her forehead, and she released a held-in breath. The azure magic surrounding the shop faded as she did. When she opened her eyes, Ember was in her face, smiling broadly.
"That. Was. Awesome!" Amethyst blinked, watching Ember practically dance in place. "I've never seen you use a spell like that before! You got him right? Who are we going after?"
Amethyst groaned and wiped her brow with her fedora. "No, I didn't get him. No spells out of the ordinary were cast in the local area in over two days."
"Drat." Ember flicked her mane back. "So, that means that he didn't use magic, right?"
"Yes."
"Yes, he didn't use magic, or yes, he DID use magic?" Ember cocked her head sideways.
"Ember… I'm really not in the mood." Amethyst strode over to Roseluck. "I'm sorry Ms. Rose, but we didn't find anything. The perp didn't use magic to flip everything over, and he left no hoofprints. He must be either a pegasi or an earth pony wearing gloves. My guess is pegasi. They're the only ones crazy enough to do stuff like this."
"It's true." Ember nodded. "Cray-cray pride!"
"That's not a compliment," Amethyst seethed.
Ember snorted. "That's what you think." She walked over toward Roseluck. "Rosy, you said that there were several other stores that were hit too?"
"Yeah, I did. Quills and Sofas, Time Turner's Hourglass Repair, Mr. Mart's Hole in the Wall, and Bonbon's Sweetshoppe."
Amethyst adjusted her fedora. "Well. We'll have to check them all out. No stone unturned, after all. Let's go get this perp."
"Ammy, we can't keep calling him 'perp.' He's a pony too. He needs a name!" Ember giggled. "I vote for calling him Frank!"
"Frank. Um, no. First off, he's a criminal. Criminals get called 'perp.' That was the deal. You name the furniture in the office, and I call all the bad guys 'perp.' And second, there may be a name that perfectly describes somepony who obsessive-compulsively disorders everything around him, but Frank isn't it. C'mon. Let's go hit the Hourglass Repair shop. There's no way he was perfect everywhere."
PONYVILLE MARKET SQUARE, 5PM
"How was he perfect EVERYWHERE!?" Amethyst screamed pounding her head against a wall. "Six hours. Five businesses. NOTHING!"
"Well, I wouldn't say nothing." Ember smiled, munching on a cookie. "That wonderful couple at the sweetshoppe gave us all these snacks! And seeing every single quill in Quills and Sofas turned upside down was pretty funny too. Did you see that purple unicorn turning them all rightside up? Man, that was hilarious."
"Nothing. Not a single thing." Amethyst whacked her head against the building again. "Well, I guess that leaves us no choice…"
"Obviously, there is only one choice left."
"I know you hate these things…"
"But it has to be done."
"Yeah. Guess we better get ready."
"I just hope they don't forget the lettuce this time."
Amethyst turned to her partner. "What. What are you talking about?"
"Going to Burger Princess for dinner! The only option that is left! I'm hungry!" As if to emphasize this, Ember's stomach growled. "What are YOU talking about?"
"A STAKEOUT!"
"Ooooooh… Okay. But can we grab some Burger Princess first? I'm really hankering for a Hay-Whopper." Ember grinned.
"Fine. We can get some Burger Princess. But then…" Amethyst spun around heroically, trenchcoat flapping in the air. She struck a pose and tilted her fedora rakishly. "...a stakeout."
Ember rolled her eyes. "What a drama queen."
Amethyst smacked her.
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