A Summer Scene

[Greenette]

There is no sun to diffuse the shadow,
an ocean of leaves;
great bursts of wind swirled through the night.
Frost lay in a blanket over the grass.

In a caged park secluded from the world,
life carries on undisturbed.
Focused under the dark lens of night
land and sky come together.

The slow progression of dawn melts the evening
dissolving into memory the bliss of twilight,
washing light over our secrets
and delivering the gift of dreams.

---
haha.. so it's a little cheesy, i love it anyway.

 

[TJgamer]

I enjoyed the abstract tone you've used.
And I don't know about cheesy, but still very neat.
Great job!

 

[Scytheteen]

Wow! The imagery in this poem is great, I really felt like I was in the poem. Especially the first stanza, you did a great job of describing the scene. Very well done!

 

[Regeneration]

Ah! A poem with excellent use of imagery! The sentence formation is pretty good as well.

Just a small problem;

Frost lay in a blanket over the grass.

The word 'frost', here is in the singular, so I feel the word 'lay' should be replaced with 'lies'.