A zombie

[PoPpLe]

PoPpLe's Poems

I've only recently started writing poetry, and Im not sure if this is a good poem or not. And, it's NOT my first poem, but I dunno if this is better than my others, because It's kinda... repetitive.. <.<; Its probably horrible, but, anyways, here it is:

A zombie

In my dome,
Im all alone,
born to be,
and grew to be,
an outcast;
A lifeless zombie.

I don't have a purpose,
I know no fear,
I roam the streets,
not knowing a thing,
why I come here,
or what it may bring.
All I know is,
I was born to be,
an outcast;
A mindless zombie.

Im often used,
without a clue,
why they did it,
or what I should've done.
All I know is,
I was born to be,
and grew to be,
an outcast;
A worthless zombie

I seldom laugh,
I seldom cry,
I can never choose or decide,
and I will never die,
because I was born to be,
and grew to be,
an outcast;
An emotionless zombie.

Please review :-) I want to know if it was good, or bad. And if it was bad, I want to know what to improve. This isnt my best work, trust me. Im going to post my other two poems about.. well.. poems <.< lol

 

[PoPpLe]

Here's my first poem ever made. I wish people would respond to my poems :'-(

"What's a poem?"

What's a poem, some fancy words?
Line after line of witty slurs?
Words that express happiness, might, and despair.
Words that are found absolutely everywhere!

And poets write poem after poem,
Line after line, and plenty of ever-lasting rhymes.
They do it day after day, time after time,
or simply whenever somthing pops into their mind.

But, may I please ask you, what it all means?
Why do you do it? How does it feel, to create somthing from nothing,
and call it a poem, a poem of love, or a poem of hate,
a poem of expressing one's beliefs or of their faith.

How do you feel? I feel absolutely grand! It's like im the god of words,
and they're all at my every command. So whats in a poem? You tell me!
And, no, don't try to find it on your computer or on your Tv.
It's somthing you can find only in one place,
It's a sanctuary of your thoughts, held together, chains keep it in a bind.
That very same place, is in the core of your mind

 

[Miyu-chan]

You're just starting to write poetry? xD You're great!

As for reviews, Time, all it takes is time. =)

I really like your second poem, it has a Dr. Seuss feeling. x3 The rhyme is wonderful. <3 However, I spotted some mistakes, which are bolded. n_n;

What's in a poem, some fancy words?

Why do you do it? How does it feel, to create something from nothing,

and they're all at my every command. So what's in a poem? You tell me!

Other than those, I find nothing to pick on. It has a very playful tone to it, I <3 it. n__n

Your first poem's structure reminded me very much as a song, I love it. The way you stressed the same word over and over has strenghened your voice, as well as your theme. (Repeating words = zombie)

However,

I'm all alone,

Remember to add the apostrophes. xD

Great job! Can't wait to see more of your work! n____n

 

[PoPpLe]

You're just starting to write poetry? xD You're great!

As for reviews, Time, all it takes is time. =)

I really like your second poem, it has a Dr. Seuss feeling. x3 The rhyme is wonderful. <3 However, I spotted some mistakes, which are bolded. n_n;




Other than those, I find nothing to pick on. It has a very playful tone to it, I <3 it. n__n

Your first poem's structure reminded me very much as a song, I love it. The way you stressed the same word over and over has strenghened your voice, as well as your theme. (Repeating words = zombie)

However,
Remember to add the apostrophes. xD

Great job! Can't wait to see more of your work! n____n

Thanks! :-) I should go to my site and fix the errors <.< If you want I could PM it to you, because I will be making new poems every week (At LEAST) or every few days. I already have about 3 new poems, and one small poem that I'll post now.

I really enjoy writing poetry :-)

 

[PoPpLe]

"Poems" My last poem about poems <.<
Im gonna start focusing on different topics.. lol (It was also my second poem ever)
I made it at 8th period in language arts, even thought I wasn't paying attention to the lesson (Or the teacher, for that matter) <.< lol And Im not in high school, Im in junior high, 6th grade (Soon to be 7th :-D)

Poems are like portals,
of which many seek to tread.
They write poems of happiness,
pure despair, and dread.

They write suspenseful poems,
and poems that make you think.
They write poems that are wonderful,

and some that purely stink!
All in all, like a wise man once said,
"A poem is like food, for a willing reader's head"

Review please :-D You know what? I just thought up another idea for a poem! :-D

 

[PoPpLe]

Well, I got a brand new poem. It's a new year, and after a long writer's block, im ready to show off my poem! :-D Dunno a name for it, but, review away! :-)

Trapped in a lonely world,
Feeling all alone,
Walking on the edge and back,
Leaving life as dust and bones.

You feel the need to watch your back,
For fear that they are watching,
You start to run but clumsily trip,
Soon comes malicious laughing.

Mocking you, testing you,
Hatred burning up,
You took a knife,
Fearing for your life,
And took the life,
Of another.

If you have a good name for it, let me know! :-)

 

[Rin-Rin]

I love your poems--a lot. They're wonderful and make me think...but, I suggest you create a thread. What you just did was revive a thread and that is against the rules. According to the poetry rules, you are supposed to create a new thread if you're previous thread has died. So...you get the point -.-; I know, it kind of stinks...

But, poem-wise, you are fantastic. For a person at your age who just started...I would've thought you were a professional. Keep up the fantastic work! =D

 

[PoPpLe]

Actually, it's been over a year now. <.<

 

[Rin-Rin]

Actually, it's been over a year now. <.<

Oh...yeah =D That's how dorky I am.