Advance Wars III-Black Hole Fails Miserably Again!, OMG!!!

[Dark Heaven]

Advance Wars Three-Black Hole Fails Miserably Again!

Chapter 1-Prologue.

Sturm-Hawke! Come to me...

Hawke-No.

Sturm-WTF??? GET HERE NOW!!! RARGH!!!

Hawke-YOU'RE DEAD!!!

Sturm-I am? Oh yeah! Woopsie! *dies*

Hawke-w00t! Adder! Come to me...

Adder-By your command my lord Hawke.

Hawke-Very good Adder! Now, how goes the invasion of Macro Land?

Adder-We're invading Macro Land?

Hawke-No. I never said that you fool!

Adder-XD

Lash-BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Hawke-WTF???

Lash-Erm...I mean "Tee hee!"

Hawke-Much better.

Flak-LIEK OMG T3H EARTH IS ROWND!!!

Hawke-No, it's a game.

TEO-Hello...

Hawke-Who are you?

TEO-I'm the obligitary new CO. I can own people easily!

Hawke-Really? Let's see.

TEO-Ok. *to Adder* LAWYER POWER!!! PREPARE TO HAVE THOSE VIDEOS PUT TO LIGHT!!!

Adder-Heh heh heh...they screamed a lot.

Everyone-XD

*in OS*

Andy-It appears that BH are preparing for war again.

Nell-How did you figure that out?

Andy-I have powar.

Sami-And it was in the paper.

Flak-FLAK SMASH!!!

Max-*slaps Flak*

Flak-Owchie ;_;

Everyone-XD

Roma-I'm OS's obligitory CO! I have Admin powers of doooooom!

Andy-I doubt those powers...

Roma-YOU DOUBT OUR AWESOME POWAR??? *uses l33t admin skills to make Andy go flying into three walls at once*

Max-Owch...

*in BM*

Olaf-Har har har! I am so amazing!!!

Little Jimmy-Mr Santa, why does Adder like me so much?

Olaf-Little Jimmy, call the police!

Colin-YOU ARE ALL THIEVES, SIRS AND MADAMS!!!

meteorsummonner-*runs in and beats the crap out of TEO* STOP STEALING MY PHRASES!!!

TEO-Owchie...

ms88-I'm BM's obiligitory CO. *makes a meteor drop on Colin's head*

Grit-AHH!!! STURM!!! *meteor falls on his head*

*in YC*

Kanbei-Har har har! Kanbei is so hard, he kicks his own butt twice a day!

Sonja-Of course you are father.

Sensei-In my day, we didn't have asses. Oh yes.

Sonja & Kanbei-*anime sweatdrop*

Sarumarine-Hello.

Sonja-Erm...hi?

Saru-I'm the new CO here...I think. I make the things that make the people fall down with laughter.

Sensei-In my day, we didn't have laughter. Oh, yes indeedy!

*in GE*

Eagle-JESS IS A MAN!!!

Jess-Your point?

Eagle-*anime sweatdrop*

Jess-Err...I mean this! *kicks the crap out of Eagle*

Drake-Yaar! Eagle, gimme your swab!

Eagle-EEEEEEEP!!! *gives swab*

Morbo-Morbo demands a part in this fanfic! OR I WILL DESTROY YOU!!! RARGH!!!

Eagle-*screams really high-pitched*

*meanwhile, in some faroff dimension*

???-so i thnk that we should attk them!

???-DUDE!!!

???-HAWKE!!! I'M STONED!!!

???-Hawke isn't here.

???-yeh, hes right.

???-Soon, Wars World and Advance Wars Websites shall be ours!

All-MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Copyright ?2004, The Evil One


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Chapter Two-How to conquer worlds for fun and profit!

*in BH*

Hawke-Ok, what should our plan be this time?

Sturm-Mindless split our troops up like we did last time.

Hawke-WTF??? How are you here?

Sturm-Nintendo couldn't think of anything to do, so they shoved me back.

Hawke-Ah...so, what do you think, TEO?

TEO-*edging away from Adder* Erm...take over Green Earth first, before splitting our forces.

Adder-Come play with me. You'll enjoy it...heh heh heh.

Lash-*kicks Adder in the crotch* STOP CHASING OUR NEW COS!!!

Adder-Ok. *starts edging towards Flak*

Flak-*punches his face in* Adder a bad man.

Hawke-That's right Flak...

Sturm-TEO! Your plan is clever and rational! We can't do that! We'd end up winning!

TEO-And?

Sturm-WE MUST LOSE!!! Or we'll get attacked by...

TEO-Who?

Sturm-...THE NINTENDO ARMY!!!

TEO-WTF???

Hawke-Don't mind him, he's stoned out of his face. Let's invade!

Lash-Yay! We're gonna play invasions with the rest of the world! Tee hee!

Hawke-Right, as the newest recruit, we're sending you to Yellow Comet along with Adder.

Adder-THANK YOU GOD!!!

TEO-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Hawke-Erm...ok, Sturm you go with him.

TEO-THANK YOU GOD!!!

Adder-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Sturm-But who will lead the invasion of Green Earth?

TEO-We should all take our entire forces at them. All of us attack!

Sturm-Nintendo...they'll be pissed off...

*Green Earth*

Drake-Ahoy me mateys!

Eagle-Shut up.

Drake-SHIPS!!! ATTACK!!! *eagle is owned*

Eagle-PAIN!!!

Jess-Stop the fighting or I'll kick both your asses!

Drake-ATTACK!!! *Jess is owned*

Jess-PAIN!!!

Drake-I now declare myself supreme dictator of Green Earth!

Eagle-Over my dead body! *dies*

Morbo-Morbo demands to fight the invading armies of Black Hole!

Drake-They be invading?

Morbo-Yaar. Morbo shall DESTROY THEM!!! RARGH!!!

Drake-Good to know, Morbo. Let the ships of war set sail!

Eagle-*wakes up and kicks drake in the crotch*

Drake-

*in Yellow Comet*

Sonja-I'm going out Father.

Kanbei-Where?

Sonja-To the library.

Kanbei-You cannot use that excuse. Kanbei knows you are going to a rock concert with that Andy.

Sonja-YOU CAN'T TREAT ME LIKE A CHILD ANYMORE!!!

Kanbei-Get back here this minute! Kanbei forbids you not to go to the rock concert!

Sonja-I HATE YOU!!! I'M GOING AND THAT'S THAT!!! COME ON SENSEI, WE'RE LEAVING!!!

Sensei-Sweeeeeet.

Saru-What about me?

Sonja-Hmm...I guess you can come, Saru. BUT NOT YOU FATHER!!! *slams door*

Kanbei-*sigh* Hormoanes...

*in BM*

ms-I AM NOW LORD OF BLUE MOON! CITIZENS, BOW TO ME!!!

Olaf-WTF? When was I dethroned?

Grit-When you signed the country away for a cheeseburger.

Olaf-It was a damm good cheeseburger...ooh...feeling a little sick...*runs off to the toilet*

Colin-Ma'am? Are you firing all the COs?

ms-Just Olaf.

Colin and Grit-w0000000000t!

ms-And hiring this person!

Shadz-Hello...

ms, Colin and Grit-Hi.

Shadz-*animates a bunch of sprites to form the letters "Shadz ownz j00"*

Everyone-Ooh...

*in OS*

Roma-Hmm...what should we do about the impending threat from Black Hole?

David_Maelstrom-Hello.

Roma-David! Go help Green Earth and replace Morbo!

David-Ok. *leaves*

Roma-Blah!

Andy-Yay! Roma's here!

Roma-*bounces Andy off the ceiling*

Andy-Whee!

Max-Erm...I CHALLENGE YOU TO ADVANCE WARS 2!!!

Sami-Me? Ok. I'm going as Sami, what about you?

Max-Probably Max...but maybe Sturm...

Sami-WHAT!!!? You unlocked him? GAH!!!

Nell-XD

*back in Green Earth*

Morbo-*kills a load of people with his CO Power* What do you think?

Drake-YOU KILLED HALF OUR ARMY!!!

David-*comes in and kills Morbo by looking at him* Hello.

Drake-You're hired.

David-w00t!

Eagle-I'm not quite dead.

Jess-Yes you are.

Eagle-No, I'm getting better.

Jess-Crap!

*in Black Hole*

TEO-TIME TO INVADE!!!

Is this the end for Morbo? Does anyone notice a similarity with Advance Wars 2.5? And is TEO a pot-smoker?

TEO-LIKE TOTALLY!!!

But wait! We haven't had mysterious people yet!

???-I thnk we shold attack know, as blak hole wil b invading as wel.

???-Whee!

???-SHADDAP Stoned Sturm!

Stoned Sturm-YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY MY NAME, YOU TWAT!!!

You Twat-That's not my name!

???-shutup both of u.

You twat-But...I'm called You twat now...so shut up SpamMaster4000.

SpamMaster4000-that isnt my name

Stoned Sturm-It is now! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

???-Hehehehehe...I still have my name in Engima.

Stoned Sturm-So you do! I name you Enigma!

Enigma-Groovy!

You twat-Blah...

SpamMaster4000-fug

Copyright ?2004, The Evil One


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Chapter Three-Secret country and PARRRRRTY!!!

*in Mystery Country*

???-W00T!!! People don't know my name!

???-Or mine!

???-Hystrix! Urza! Be quiet!

Hystrix and Urza-Crap...sorry Kono.

Kono-YOU DARE REVEAL MY NAME!!? *kicks their heads in*

Hystrix-XD

Urza-XD

???-Sir! Shall we mobalize our forces yet?

Kono-I dunno, ask that guy!

That guy-Yeah, why not.

???-w00t! *leaves*

Kono-Soon...we, mystery country shall prevail! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

That guy-Erm...my lord...you're, erm...drooling slightly.

Kono-...*shoots That guy*

*in Blue Moon*

ms-Life sure is great being a supreme ruler of a country!

Colin-Ma'am! MA'AM!!! MAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!

ms-Yes, Colin?

Colin-Nothing, nothing...

ms-...*makes a meteor drop on Colin* We need a new CO.

Gandalf-I WILL!!!

Shadz-Do I get promoted?

ms-Yes to both.

Shadz and Gandalf-w00t!

Grit-Oh no...

*in OS*

Sami-I'm bored...let's get drunk and play Spin the Bottle!

Roma-Sigh...

Andy-I'm not allowed to drink...

Nell-*uses luckpower to lower drinking age* There ya go!

Andy-Sw33t!

Max-We need more people than just us 5.

Hachi-WHAT ABOUT ME!!!

Max-We don't like you. *shoots Hachi*

Andy-I'll phone Black Hole

Max-WTF???

Sami-There's a surprising amount of logic in that. We can get them drunk, then lock them away!

Andy-Plus, it makes the story more interesting.

Roma-...sigh.

*in YC*

Kanbei-WHY WEREN'T YOU HOME BY 11 LAST NIGHT!!!

Sensei-YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER!!!

Sonja-Hehehe...let's get drunk!

Saru-k.

Kanbei-Now Sensei, GO TO BED!!!

Sensei-NO!!! I'll sleep in my rocking chair! *falls asleep*

*at this point, Sonja and Saru are blazing drunk*

Sonja-Whee!

Saru-Lots of fun!

*they fall unconcious*

*in Green Earth*

David-BLACK HOLE ARE APPROACHING!!!

Drake-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

David-Just kidding!

Drake-Yaar!

Jess-Hehe.

Eagle-I'm well again!

Jess-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Eagle-BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

*everywhere*

Everyone-I've been invited to a drinking party at OS! Whee!

*BH*

Hawke-TEO, Sturm! We are to go to OS immediately!

TEO-What about the rest?

Hawke-Lash is babysitting Flak, and Adder's chained to his bedroom wall.

TEO-Ah...k.

*they all arrive, including...*

You twat-Hello.

SpamMaster4000-how r u?

Stoned Sturm-Whee!

Enigma-Shut up.

*they all go inside*

Sonja-So...what are we playing again?

Kanbei-Less talky more drinky.

*they all drink*

Sami-LET'S PLAY STRIP AW CLUEDO!!!

Everyone-YAY!!!

*they sit down to play*

Hawke-I think it's Flak, in the City with the Neotank!

Sami-BZZZZ!!! Take off your jacket!

Hawke-NO!!! NOT THAT!!!

Sami-Either that...or...no COFFEE!!!

Hawke-You are evil...*takes off jacket to reveal a hippee shirt*

Everyone-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Andy-I think it's...Sonja...in the forest...with...the RECON!!!

Sami-...you're right. Damm. Everyone except Andy, take off some clothes!

*everyone takes their shoes off*

ms-My feet are...cold...

Saru-I'm bored. Let's play Spin the Bottle!

Sami-GAME OF DEATH!!!

Saru-WTF???

Sami-Each person says something they haven't done, and everyone who has done that thing has to either take off some clothes, take a drink or take a dare by the person who said it!

Everyone-YAY!!!

Saru-I'll start...I have never had a single clue of what was going on here.

TEO-Crap. *takes a drink*

Stoned Sturm-Ya got me. I'll take the dare.

Saru-I dare you...TO TAKE OFF THE MASK!!!

S.Sturm-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *takes off mask*

Everyone-OMG!!!

Saru-You're...a WOMAN???

S.Sturm-Yes. I AM SAMUS!!!

Everyone-OMG!!!!!

Samus-ME NEXT!!! I have never been sober.

*everyone except Hawke and Sonja takes a drink*

Sonja-I'll take off clothes. *takes off her hat*

Hawke-I've never been sober.

Samus-You HAVEN'T!!!

Hawke-I'm constantly stoned! Why do you think I'm always so calm!

Samus-Dunno really...

Sonja-MY TURN!!! I have never been wrong!

Andy-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *takes a drink*

Sturm-Damm...*takes off cape*

Andy-My turn! I never knew what an airport was!

*everyone except Nell takes a drink*

Nell-Crap.

Everyone-O_o

Nell-Me next. I have never had sex with Andy. *stares pointedly at...*

Jess-Crap...

Eagle-Does that make Andy gay then?

Jess and Andy-*both beat the crap out of Eagle*

Jess-My turn! I have never been called a girl...*cries*

Max-*takes off his tank-top*

Everyone-OMG!!!

The ladies-*drools*

Max-My turn! I have never been owned in Direct Combat before.

*everyone drinks except Sturm*

Sturm-You all suck! AHAHAHHAAHAHA!!!

TEO-ME NEXT!!! I have never had sex...period.

Sonja-Goddammit! *drinks*

Colin-Damm...*drinks*

ms-YOU'RE DEAD!!! And that's incredibly gross.

Max-I'm bored of this now. LET'S PLAY SPIN THE BOTTLE!!!

*spin the bottle*

Sami-We'll do a Truth or Dare version. Whoever it lands on, the person who spins it asks "Truth, Dare, Drink, Strip or Kiss?". K?

Andy-START ALREADY!!!

Sami-*spins, it lands on Eagle* Truth, Dare, Drink, Strip or Kiss *stares at him*

Eagle-Kiss! *they kiss*

Andy-Blegh!

Eagle-*spins the bottle, it lands on Sonja*

Sonja-STRIP!!! *takes off jacket*

Andy-*drools*

Colin-*drools*

Adder-*drools*

Hawke-Adder! HOW DID YOU GET HERE!!!

Adder-I was lonely...hello, Andy.

Andy-Eep...

Flak-ME FLAK!!! ME CRUSH ADDER!!! *crushes adder*

Sonja-I'm gonna simply spin it now. *it lands on Flak*

Flak-What's the options?

Sonja-Truth, Dare, Drink, Strip or Kiss?

Flak-Truth...

Sonja-What's your IQ?

Flak-Truthfully? 3869034869565898483587

Sonja-Woah...that's almost as much as me!

Flak-*spins onto...*

Adder-Heh heh heh...strip. *takes off shirt, 6-Pac abs are shown*

The ladies-*drools*

Adder-*spins, it lands on Sami*

Sami-KISS!!! KISS!!! *grabs Adder, drags him up to her bedroom*

Kanbei-Sigh...she has hormoanal issues too...*spins the bottle*

Nell-Lucky me! DARE!!!

Kanbei-I dare you...to kiss Flak! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Nell-*faints*

Flak-Sigh...*spins bottle*

Sonja-Dare.

Flak-I dare you to do to Andy what Sami did to Adder!

Andy-Yay!

Sonja-*smirks* It'll be my plleeeaaassssuurrrreee...*purrs, before dragging Andy away*

Hawke-*spins bottle, it lands on Lash* When did you get here?

Lash-Same time as Flak. *drags Hawke away* Tee hee!

ms-WTF???

TEO-Don't ask me.

Shadz-Bleh...

Saru-*spins bottle, it lands on Jess* Uh oh...

Jess-ME WANT LOVE!!! *slings Saru over her shoulder and leaves*

Saru-HEEEEEEEEEEELLLLPPPP!!!

Max-*spins, it lands on a now concious Nell*

Nell-Kiss...*leads Max to her room*

Grit, Colin, Eagle, Drake, Kanbei, Sensei, TEO, Gandalf, Shadz, David, ms, Samus, SpamMaster4000, Enigma, You twat and Flak are left*

Everyone-Blah...

Samus-*spins bottle, it lands on Grit* Come with me or die.

Grit-Sigh...

TEO-Spin, spin, spin the bottle! *it lands on David* DAVID!!!

David-I pick Dare...

TEO-I DARE YOU TO...EAT FLAK'S SOCK!!! AMWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

David-*faints*

Enigma-Hehehe...*grabs David*

TEO-Eww...

Enigma-What? I'm a woman you sponge!

TEO-Ahh...*enigma leaves*

SpamMaster4000-ma turn *spins, it lands on TEO* cme wit me or dye.

TEO-Over my dead body. *kills SM4000*

You twat-*spins bottle, it lands on Gandalf*

Gandalf-*whimpers*

You twat-*smirks, then drags Gandalf away*

Gandalf-SOMEBODY HEEEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Colin-TAKE ME INSTEAD!!!

You twat-Ok.

Colin-YES!!! *is dragged away*

Eagle, Drake, Kanbei, Flak and Sensei-We're the only original COs left...*they leave*

TEO, Gandalf, Shadz and David-We survived...

TEO-Damm...that spiked drink must have not affected us...

ms-DAMM ADDER!!!

Copyright ?2004, The Evil One


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[Dark Heaven]

Chapter 4-Hangovers

Sami-*waking up* Woah...my head is killing me...hope I didn't do anything stupid last night...or anyone, for that matter.

Adder-Heh heh heh...hello...

Sami-... AIYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Adder-*feeds her more pills*

Sami-Ooh...*glomps*

Adder-Heh heh heh...

*downstairs, at the Sofas*

TEO-Morning everyone!

ms-Mornin'!

Gandalf-Yo!

Shadow-Hi...

*suddenly*

Saru-*running* HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!

Jess-COME BACK, SARU!!! ME WANT SNOO SNOO!!! (Futurama reference)

Saru-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Roma-XD

Samus-*dragging Grit through* You're no fun...*boot*

Grit-*pain*

Samus-Woah...bad headache...need tablets...*finds Adder's "Happy Pills"* Ooh...*takes them, is immediately like last night* GRIT!!! YOU'RE COMING WITH ME!!!

Grit-Eep! *throws TEO in the way*

TEO-*is being dragged away* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!! I'M TOO ATTRACTIVE!!!

Everyone-*smirks* *TEO is dragged away*

*in the room*

Samus-Now, I have you alone in this room...time to play CHESS!!!

TEO-w00t!

*meanwhile*

Grit-Thank god...

Jess-You come with Jess too!

Saru-...OH GOD!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!! OH NO! NO!!!!1!111!1!

Grit-Must save Saru! *shoots Jess*

Jess-Owchie *dies*

Saru-I'm saved!

SM4000-u cme wit me *drags Saru away*

Saru-NO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Grit-Outta ammo... *Saru is dragged away*

TEO-I'm bored now. Let's go start our own country!

ms-Nope! I rule BM

TEO-FINE!!! BE THAT WAY!!!

So TEO, Roma, Shadz, Gandalf and Grit formed their own country, and it was to be known as...

TEO-SCOTLAND!!!

That's right.

*meanwhile*

Sonja-Woah...that was...wow...

Andy-I know!

Sonja-How did you...

Andy-I have a knack for this sort of thing

Sonja-But that...that was just...amazing.

*they were playing Chess, Andy managed to move a piece to the right place*

Sonja-Sooo...what now?

Andy-Well...I have an idea of what we can do *smirks evilly*

Sonja-*grins*

*they play Strip AW Cluedo*

*in Secret Country*

Kono-TO WAAAAAAAR!!!

Hystrix-Why?

Kono-We weren't invited to the party!

Urza and Hystrix-...ATTAAAAAAACCCCCKKKKK!!!

*back at the party*

You twat-WHAT!!! You're NOT 18!!!

Colin-Nope! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

You twat-...I'm gonna go to prison for this.

Enigma-David? Where are you...

David-*thinking* She can't find me here, she can't find me here.

Enigma-Silly me. You're standing in front of me!

David-*thinking* CRAP!!!

Enigma-Hiya, honey. Want some pancakes?

David-...are they...good pancakes?

Enigma-The best ever! Here! *tosses David a pancake*

David-*eats it*...I love you, you know that.

*in Green Earth*

Eagle-Drake, my old chum! How are you today?

Drake-WTF??? Are you stoned?

Eagle-Nope!

Drake-Jess isn't here...of course!

Eagle-Thaaaaat's right! *skips off*

Drake-Odd...

*in Blue Moon*

ms-It's so quiet...and empty!

Olaf-Hello...

ms-ARGH!!! GO AWAY!!!

Olaf-NEVAR!!! I DECLARE CIVIL WAR!!!

ms-Oh yeah? Well...I'll never talk to you again!

Olaf-Fine! BE THAT WAY!!!

*meanwhile, in YC*

Kanbei-Har har har! Sensei didn't get lucky!

Sensei-Shut up.

Kanbei-The door is ringing...*checks it*

Really hot 18 year old-Is Sensei here?

Sensei-I'm here baby. Want a ride?

RH18YO-hel yeah! *they leave*

Kanbei-WTF???

*in BH*

Flak-Helloooo? Wow...it's so boring...ah well. Time to turn Black Hole into a democracy!

Two days later, and Flak managed to turn Black Hole into a thriving country, full of business.

Flak-Yay!

However, due to a temporal fold, the world went back in time 2 days.

Flak-Helloooo? Wow...it's so big and...wait...deja vu. Ah screw it. *plays Game Boy*

*in Scotland*

TEO-Welcome to Scotland's first Council meeting! I am the leader!

Roma-HOLD ONE SECOND!!! WHY AREN'T I LEADER!!!

TEO-Because I'm the author.

Naki-Yo!

TEO-Yo!

Gandalf-WTF??? Why's he here?

TEO-He owns you.

Shadow-Ah...

TEO-So...who wants to take over the world.

Everyone-I do.

TEO-Then it's settled. WARS WORLD SHALL BE OURS!!!

Everyone-MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

*at the party again*

Lash-OMG!!! I DON'T BELIEVE WE DID THAT!!!

Hawke-WTF? You were the one that dragged me into the bedroom and threw me on the bed and started doing...things...

Lash-Adder spiked my drink.

Hawke-Ahh...wanna do it again?

Lash-WTF???

Hawke-Aww...

Lash-No, I'll play! Tee hee!

*GRATUITOUS SEX SCENE!!!*

Saru-*running away, walks in* AHHHHHHH!!! MY POOR EYES!!! *runs into Sonja and Andy's room*

*GRATUITOUS SEX SCENE!!!*

Saru-OH GOD!!! MY POOR, POOR EYES!!!

*he walks into Adder/Sami's room*

*GRATUITOUS SEX/BDSM/BONDAGE SCENE*

Saru-You have got to be kidding me...*becomes comatoze*

Jess-Nooooooooooooooo!!! ME NEED SNOO SNOO!!! ME SNOO SNOO WITH GRIT!!!

Copyright ?2004, The Evil One


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Chapter 5-Secret Country vs Scotland

TEO-CRAP!!! We're being attacked?

Roma-Who by?

TEO-Dunno...

Gandalf-It's a bunch of Mods and an Admin from AWN.

Shadz-...how did you know that?

Gandalf-I have powar.

TEO-Err...k

*in BH*

Hawke-We need a new CO.

Dark Heaven-I'll be one XD

Hawke-Excuse me...did you just say "XD"???

Dark Heaven-Of course not! XD

Hawke-Sigh...

Dark Heaven-BLAH!!! XD

Hawke-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*in OS*

Sami-...huh?

Adder-Heh heh heh...

Sami-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Adder-Like my chains? They show off my kinky side...heh heh heh...

Sami-*sees she's in chains* !!!

Saru-*wakes up* Woah...hope I don't see anything like that...*faints*

Sami-HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!

Nell-Me and Max are busy!

Sami-Fug...

*in Blue Moon*

Reporter Dude-And the Civil War rages on here as *shot dead*

ms-Crap! We're losing!

Olaf-MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YOU HAVE BEEN OWNED!!!

ms-LOOK!!! Yellow Comet are destroying all the KFCs in the world!

Olaf-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *runs*

ms-Heh heh heh...

*in Yellow Comet*

Kanbei-HOW ARE YOU SO POPULAR WITH THE LADIES???

Morbo-Dunno. Morbo just has a natural sex appeal!

Kanbei-...O_o

Sensei-*runs in* Hehe, got lucky again.

Kanbei-SENSEI!!! HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME!!!

Sensei and Morbo-O_o

*in Green Earth*

Eagle-I'm bored...

Jess-I'm back!

Eagle-Now I'm suicidal! *throws himself out the window*

Jess-WTF???

Drake-Adder...slipped him a "Happy Pill."

Jess-Ah...*has a drink of water*

Drake-NO!!! THAT'S SPIKED TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Jess-ME WANT MORE LOVE!!!

Drake-*takes out tranqulizers* BLAM!!!

Jess-Erk! *unconcious*

Drake-Hehehe...

*on the Secret Country/Scotland battlefield*

TEO-I'll take this one!

Gandalf-Ok.

Kono-TEO!!! j00 w1ll d13!

TEO-Eep! l33t! TIME FOR MY ULTIMATE WEAPON!!!

Kono-...uh oh.

TEO-*starts speaking in a really heavy scottish accent*

Kono-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! MY EARS!!!

Kono's Troops-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY POOR DELICATE EARS!!!

TEO-Haha! My CO Power is charged! Troops! In formation!

*CO POWER-BAGPIPES/HIGHLAND FLING ACTIVATED!!!*

Dark Heaven-XD

Hawke-Chance is a fickle thing. You never know when it might come along. BLACK STORM!!!

Dark Heaven-I HAVE BEEN KILLED!!! XD

Hawke-...*slaps*

Dark Heaven-Owchie XD

TEO-MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Kono-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOOOO!!!

Hystrix-I'll save us! *puts on Cher albums*

Urza-...*head explodes*

*meanwhile*

Saru-Gotta get out, gotta get out, gotta get out. *goes through a door*...huh?

Vampire-Rargh! *gets killed*

???-HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Saru-Who...are...you?

???-I am Sami...the Vampire Slayer.

Saru-...kill me...

*Meanwhile again*

David-*eating his millionth pancake* These are amazing! What's in them?

Enigma-Adder's Happy Pills.

David-...what.

Enigma-BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

SpamMaster4000-grit n me r talkin.

Grit-*burst out of door, shoots SM4000 in the head* C'mon David, we're getting out of here!

David-*pills take effect, starts glomping Enigma*

Grit-...*tries not to stare* AHHHHHHHHH!!! *runs*

*in weird place*

Saru-So you're telling me...that you are Sami, the Vampire Slayer.

Sami-Yup!

Saru-Uh huh. Why?

Sami-Dunno! Calling in life.

Saru-...my luck used to be good. Wonder who has it now?

*in Andy's bedroom*

Sonja-HAHA!!! Take of your boxers, Andy!

Andy-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Saru-*shudders*

*in battle*

Kono-What can we...do? They're...too strong!

tjstrf-Hello.

Kono-Erm...hi.

tj-I wish to help you.

Kono-...k.

tj-Let me take command. *takes command* ...AHHHHHHHHH!!! MY EARS!!! MY EYES!! BAGPIPES!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

TEO-BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! MY ULTIMATE POWER IS CHARGED UP!!!

Kono-WTF???

TEO-Nintendo ran out of ideas.

Kono-Ah...

*ULTIMATE POWER, NESSIE, ACTIVATED!!!*

*loch ness monster appears*

Monster-Rarh. *eats all of Kono's troops*

tj-It appears we have lost.

Kono-You're as neurotic as Hawke, did you know that?

tj-It's because I am protecting myself.

Kono-From what? ADDER???

tj-Yes.

Kono-Oh. Well, we lost. RETREAT!!! RETREEEAAAAAAAT!!!

tj-We can't, the Loch Ness Monster ate them all.

Kono-...O_o

Dark Heaven-XD

Hawke-Oh shut up.

Copyright ?2004, The Evil One


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To be continue ^_^