Any good...

This was something jotted down (and I do mean jotted, we had ten minutes) for my Creative Writing class. Our topic was on what it means to be teenaged. I think it could still use some wwork, though.

6205
Days pass me by
6205
Somewhere around there
6205
Not all that many, I am told
6205
Feels different to me 6205

Been to hell and back
At 6205
Been floating on clouds
At 6205
Had a knife to my wrist
At 6205
Had a love for eternity
At 6205

I can fight, and I can love
When I'm 6205
Can offer kindness where there's hate
When I'm 6205
My life still isn't my own
When I'm 6205
Still doing things I'd rather not
When I'm 6205

I am everything you've ever seen
And 6205
Good and bad and in between
And 6205
Life and death, kind and mean
And 6205
Most of all, I'm 17
And 6205
 
Well Adamant, it may have been a jotted poem, but it still is quite good.
 
Again, written for Creative Writing. Like Phantom Mew's "Because You're Gone," this is written from a "what if?" standpoint. I'll post the first two parts now, the other two this afternoon.

Four Hours (a lyrical poem in four parts)

1st hour
Broken promises all around,
Scream over and over without a sound.
Still don't blame you, you had the right.
But my blood-soaked sheets tell of night.

Of nights alone
Nights on my own
Without you by my side
Because you lied.

Giving voice to my scream,
Beg it's a dream.
But it's not, and you're dead,
And for you I have bled.

For the nights alone
Nights on my own
without you by my side
Because you lied

2nd Hour
Did I do something wrong?
Drag it out to long?
I wish you could tell me
But now you are free.

Free of life
Free of strife
But now I cry
Because of your lie

Is this despair?
It just isn't fair.
Or rage instead?
One thought in my head.

That you're free of life
free of strife
But now I cry
Because of your lie
 
Sorry to double-post, and sorry for not having the last two parts of "Four Hours," but there's another poem that takes precedence. I won't go into why I wrote it, but it involves some rather serious happenings from last night.

Put out the Light
Is it true what you say?
True what you feel?
In bed I lay,
With a desperate appeal.

"Do you still love me?
Or at least forgive?
Forget or be free?
Continue to live?
Did I betray you?
Shatter your trust?
Are your words true?
Or am I a bust?"

You deserve more than I can give.
My life is charmed, but I cannot live.
Without you, my life is a fright.
Slide up my wrists, and put out the light.
 
Hmm...I can kinda figure what you're talking about...but I won't say.....very powerful work here.
 
This was also written for Creative Writing. Not much else to say, except: enjoy.

For Whom I Weep
When I?m walking home?
Looking at the road?
It all disgusts me.
Reviled, repulsive,
Totally unholy.

No one else sees it.
None of them seem to know.
Why I can?t sleep at night.
Why the world isn?t right.

I weep for the destruction.
I weep for the trees.
The rivers now poisoned.
And the birds that must flee.
I weep for the sky
As it slowly turns brown.
I weep for the greed
That draws oil from ground.

In the heart of the city
That I must call home.
I listen to pleading,
Begging, beseeching
Help I can?t give.

No one else sees it.
None of them seem to know.
Why I can?t sleep at night.
Why the world isn?t right.

I weep for the dead
In the ground, in the air.
And I weep for the dead
Still alive, can?t care
I weep for those hungry.
Those consumed by thirst.
I weep for those
Who look on this with mirth.
And at my home
On the TV.
Gunshots, explosions
Though I run
I can?t flee.

No one else sees it.
None of them seem to know.
Why I can?t sleep at night.
Why the world isn?t right.

I weep for the dying
Of bullets and bombs.
I weep for peace lost.
Peace shattered by wrong.
I weep for tranquility.
I weep for the war.
And I weep for my life
Peaceful no more.

So what am I?
A savior?
Brought to show them their wrongs?
I could not do that.
It?s a burden too strong.

Too strong to weep for.
Too heavy for tears.
They must see on their own.
Lest I end my years?
Too short to show them
The prices they?ll pay.
To short to show them
A healthier way.

So I sit alone.
Thoughts empty at night.
Curl up in bed
Because the world isn?t right.
I can?t change a thing,
The price is too steep.
So I sit alone,
And all alone I must weep.
 
You still do quite well. I enjoy this and anything else you bring up to us. Very well done.
 
Okay, okay, sorry I haven't posted here in a while. Corona's been fussy, saying she needs a mate. anyways, I promise that in my next post here, I'll have the conclusion to "Four Hours." for the moment, I have a new poem. Enjoy.

Finding Why I Fell
And the blood rains down again
My knife shakes, cut deeper for my sin
The distraction will be my salvation
The distraction led to his creation

I'm scared and afraid
Can't change, but hey,
I deserve it anyway

A flash of white so far above
Angelic wings, innocent as a dove
My tears stream down, begging, screaming
"Come and save me, keep me from fleeing"

I'm scared and afraid
Can't change, but hey,
I deserve it anyway

Her tears streamed down, wiping me clean
Absolved of sin, and I walk in a dream
Then it went wrong, love began
Love unrequited, my love is a sham

I'm scared and afraid
Can't change, but hey,
I deserve it anyway

I can't be with you, never could
Besides, impossible that love would
ever come to me, ever set me free
But your feelings won't let me be

I'm scared and afraid
Can't change, but hey,
I deserve it anyway

But I love you, it's true
Our grey skies are blue
And together, we're strong
As we weave a new song

Not scared or afraid
I can change, and hey
I deserve you every day

Now time has passed
The months stream by so fast
Or are they so slow
No matter, we go

(Together forever)

Not scared or afraid
I can change, and hey
I deserve you every day
 
Meh, improv poetry. It sounds a lot better read on stage, passionately than it does read, but still... Anyways, no title for this one.

Fine, you know
I met you six months ago.
Met you, looked like you needed help.
Tried to help, pull you out.
Looked like I had,
But you, you slumped back.
Fell down and you didn't care.
And I, when I tried to help,
You said "Don't dare."

So you know what?
You wanna talk again?
You, after you ditched me, left me?
You think I want to?
I couldn't help leaving you,
Neither of us could be on.
Tried calling.
Tried talking.
You, you asked
"What good will it do?"
And now, now you wanna talk?
Now, when you need help again?
when you've fallen down again?

You make the effort, you try now.
I, I tried too hard, look where it got me.
Nowhere, you know it.
Foul-weather friend.
You talk now.
'Cuz I won't.
I don't give a ****, it's your turn.
Go ahead, dig into your wrists every night.
I know you want to.

See if I care.
 
Wow. This is... deep poetry. Emotional, powerful. You describe your feelings and conflicts well. I loved every one of these, and I look forward to seeing more of your work. ~In accordance w/prophecy.
 
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Again, more improv. I've been doing a lot of that lately, for my school's open-mic stuff. Title: Dance the Day. Yeah, I know it doesn't have the rhyme or rhythm I usually do, but meh. I still kinda like it.

I love today
Love the way
I feel like I could just dance
Prance
A day where you wish
Someone would just put
A really kickass song
On the intercom
Drag your friends
Come along
As we dance the day
Dance away

Not eveyone would notice at first
Not the cool kids
Only the really cool ones
Who you share a secret smile with
They'd groove out, sing a verse
Maybe a few other would catch on
Sing a song
I'd start to play guitar

I can't play a guitar
But who cares
It's a perfect day
I love today
Let's dance away
 
No, it's not your usual style, but it's still good. A bit happier than the others, actually. Lighter. I liked it.
 
Still doing standup/improv. Meh. And, as a joke, some contemporary poetry. :P

Happily in love
Smack of feet
Against cold cement
In a perfect moment
Back arched to where it hurts
As I finally get it
Get what?
I don't know
In a perfect moment
For a pencil scketch
For a b/w photo
For some music
Her kisses hurt my feet
As I ride
My lover
The wall


Lampshade
Haiku in 12 verses
Fireflies flit
About the stars
Of tea leaves
God is 19
Lampshade
 
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