Back in Time

[Pokemon AD Fan]

Probably... When you first heard me saying this, you'll think that it's something related to Serebii. But it's not. This is my first time writing a fan-fiction but I really hope that you all will enjoy it...Okay, here goes nothing!

Just imagine, if you could go back in time to change the flow of a story plot, how would you do it? i'll give you an example:
Chapter 1: Green & Yellow (1)
Green started to teach Yellow how to battle. Due to the days they trained together, Green started to suspect that Yellow's a girl (but you already know that), but was uncertain. "I must be thinking too much". Thought Green, although beads of sweat rolled down his face and his frown clearly shows that he's right... He shooked his head frantically (without Yellow looking), refusing to believe that all these days he was training with a GIRL.
One day they were training together again, when suddenly Yellow's Rattata began to shiver, then glow~
Yellow thought that her Rattata was sick and she squealed like never before.
Green saw this and and was pretty comfirmed that Yellow's a GIRL. But he came forward, passed "him" his Pokedex and said:
Press the B button. I reckon' that your Rattata's evolving. This'll stop the process for the time being...
Yellow did as "he" was told. Rattata did stop shivering. And with that, Yellow gratefully gave Green a warming bear-hug, completely forgetting that she's a "BOY".
Green's eye's went blank- His whole face went pale as a sheet when Yellow's hat fell off...
Green was astonished. His worst fear has come true- A fact that he himself refuse to believe. Yellow IS a GIRL. Then suddenly, that incident that occured just a moment ago flashed back to his mind. His pale face instantly turned red, he felt as though all the blood had ran intol his cheeks, and there was this funny feeling in the stomach, his heart was racing, his hands went cold... There was many other mixed feelings inside him that he hasn't experienced in his whole 13 years of living...
But right now poor Yellow didn't know what had happened, she didn't even know that her hat had dropped off. She was really worried about Green, his whole face just started to change from pale to bright red. Then he just started looking into mid-air, which was so unlike him. Having to know Green for quite some time now, although Green is usually quiet at times, he was really serious too and this is the first time Yellow ever saw Green behaving so abnormally.
Yellow: Earth calling to Green! Earth calling to Green! Please reply if you can hear me!
As Yellow's not tall enough, she jumped and waved her hands around like a madgirl on the run. Which finally made Green came back to reality.
Green: H-huh? What?
Then Green saw Yellow, looking rather relieved. He was about to say something but something seems to be stucked in his throat, probably a little bigger than an apple. He began to stutter a little... Then he tries to speak clearly, but with no apparent luck at all...
Green left their training ground and went to train on his own, on his own pace. He was determined to find out what exactly hadgot over him...
End of chapter 1, to be continued...

 

[Frostweaver]

It may *really* help to do a following first before you continue further...

a) read the sticky called "READ FIRST" which is the Pokemon Fanfic Writing Guide

b) always proofread what you got... spelling mistakes should not exist at all because you have a spell checker (Serebii not Serebi.) Really, if you misspelled something in a fanfic, you will quickly establish a famous reputation that's not in your favor, especially with the effort of your work.

c) Use paragraphs whenever there is a new speaker talking

d) Try to read what some well known famous fanfics got... see why they're so popular and beloved, and try to learn from these experienced writers.

e) Always include *details* everywhere you go. It's a good step to follow first until you learned enough to decide when is it ever a time where you actually don't want detail. But, for now, details about everything and anything, please.

Let's work on these 5 points first before we go on with a real review.

 

[Pokemon AD Fan]

Ad's words: "sigh", though nobody comes anymore... Execpt Frostweaver, who came only once... But i've decided to keep on writing this FF until it ends, I'm not that sorta person who gives up 1/2way!
Chapter 2: Vs. Lance(1)
After Green and Yellow seperated, each of them went on their own adventures, finally the day comes when Yellow and Pika had to face Lance, the champion of the Elite 4 on Salt island...

Lance laughed with a tremendously unbearable voice, he stiffled his giggle and said to Yellow in a harsh tone:
Do you really think you can beat me with those pathetic Pokemon? What a joke!
Yellow didn't fully catch what Lance's saying except for the last few words...

"Nope, it's not a joke, i'm serious... And what you're saying's not even funny..."
Lance collasped at Yellow's dim-wittedness.But he was not going to let his guaed down, because this may just be one of Yellow's tricks up his sleeve... (but poor Lance thought too much, Yellow's not up to anything)
Lance fired an unexpected, earth shaking Earthquake on the rocks beneath Yellow. He narrowly escaped Lance's clutches with some help from Blaine's Mewtwo. But Pika's luck wasn't as good,and Yellow can't do anything but watch Pika fall into the valley that seems terrifying and endless...
Yellow had no time to think, one moment of hesitation would make Pika end up into nothing but Yellow pulp. He jumped in without much thought...

He firmly grabbed hold of Pika and threw his caterpie upwards by doing a 180 degree backward spin.
"Kitty! String shot!" screamed Yellow at the top of his voice, with an unmistakeable bit of anxiety in his voice...
Though Yellow grabbed to the thread firmly... Caterpie couldn't hold the weight of two and fell together with them...
Unfinished chapter: To be continued...
Obviously Yellow will not die but who's going to save him? Or was there anyone to the rescue? Soo Sorry to end like this agin but my mom's railing at me again... AD's signing off! Wait! Do I even have a sig?