Bella Bella -- Coordinator of the Stars

[Red Ink]

Chapter One: Not a dream
"Bella dear, it's time to go. Come now." Her voice echoed like wind chimes, singing for me.
"Yes yes, I'm coming Mother, wait please, wait." I said, groggy from just waking up.
"You're going to be late for the contest!! Come now, hurry. Get dressed, I made you and Misery breakfast," I jumped out of bed, but she continued to talk, "I knew that would get you up. Come on now, I'll be down stairs in the kitchen. I made you and Misery pancakes, and they're getting cold as we speak."
I got dressed quickly after this, I love my mothers pan cakes, chocolate chips, melted and cooling as they hit your tongue. Mouth watering even thinking about them. I ran down the stairs and tripped twice, as I was running down I saw Misery dancing her way through the room--well dancing in her own way, really she floated.. no drifted into the room with serene grace. I was so lucky to catch her--I was 10, playing around in the forest at night when I heard a ghostly howl, and she was there, in front of me. With all her glory. She looked about ready to attack, and I screamed. I was terrified. And once a screamed, she loosened her pose, and almost smiled. She came closer and closer til she was an inch from my face. Then she did something--to this day I'm not sure what she did--but it was like she was talking to me, and all I heard was "It's okay dear, I'm not going to hurt you. It's okay, I promise, your safe." I felt safe. And she was so friendly. It was like something clicked, at that moment I reached into my back pocket, and grabbed a Pokeball. I tossed it up in the air, and it lightly hit her, she smiled again. Once in the Pokeball, she never struggled to get out, and when I let her back out, she didn't try to run away. That, was the start of our friendship--and the start to my knowledge of my gift--to talk to creatures unlike myself, to understand there thoughts, and them understand mine.
OH!! I forgot about the Pan cakes.
I ran down the rest of the stairs, Misery was laughing at me--in her own way--for standing on the stairs staring into space like a fool. I scarfed down my pan cakes--to Misery's disgust I liked them. When I was done I could hear my mother laughing now too.
"What?" I demanded, "Whats so funny?"
She laughed harder "I was thinking of how you were going to get to Hearthome City." She was thoughtful for a moment, "I guess you could ride Bizza in." She smiled.
"OH THANK YOU MOM!!" I ran to give her a hug, "This is great, thanks so much!! This will be so cool!"
"You're welcome, take good care of her though, alright?"
"Thanks!!" I said as she handed me Bizza's Pokeball.
I ran to grab my bag and through it on my back. And turned to Misery. Like always, she looked about to cry--she hated going into her ball, absolutely loathed it. But she knew she had to, and it was only a short time she had to be in there. So she went into the Pokeball a soon as I held it up, and with a 'Hmmph' she sat quietly and waited for it to be over. I yelled goodbye to my mother and headed out the door leading to the front yard.
Once outside I let Bizza out of her Pokeball, she stared at me proudly. Ready Bella? Lets go already, I want to fly. she thought. "Yep!! Are you? Thanks so much Bizza this is going to be amazing!" She laughed. Yes, it will be. Misery where is she... is she still not a fan of her Pokeball? "No. The silly girl dreads it still." I laughed now too.
She ducked down so I could get on her back. I climbed on. She was such a beautiful Staraptor, she was shiny, high leveled, so strong. My moms prized Pokemon. And I get to fly her. Wow.
Didn't take us long to get here, or I just wasn't paying attention, but when I opened my eyes we were sweaping to the ground. She's so graceful... Once we landed, I didn't really notice we did til I heard a mans voice speaking to me.
"Bella... Bella, Bella!" I rose my head, "Ahh, welcome Bella." He said, taking my hand and helping me off of Bizza. "Hello Bizza," He said gesturing to the Staraptor.
Bizza let out a low mummer in response. I recognized the man now, it was Lance. A friend of my mothers.
"Hello Lance," I said, a hint of uncertainty in my voice, "Are you entering the contest today?" Lance was a wonderful Coordinator, if I was up against him, I might still win though.
"No, no. I'm here as a Contest Judge, a favor for a friend of mine. I was speaking to your mother and I heard you were coming here soon, so I thought I could show you around a little," He smiled now and started walking me into the Contest building.
"Bizza, stay there please darling!" I yelled as we walked in the doors.
"Staaaaar." Was all I heard when I walked into the large open room filled with young and old Coordinators like myself.

 

[Red Ink]

Chapter Two:
And-- ... What?

"Well Bella, what do you think? Wonderful, isn't it?" Lance said smugly.
"Beautiful, they sure dressed up the Contest hall. I hardly recognized it," At that moment I saw a young boy walk into the Contest hall, he was my age, about 15. I couldn't help but stare, I knew it was rude, but there was something about him. Something appealing, not only to the eyes. When I cut off mid sentance I guess Lance followed my gaze. After I came through instead of staring at him longer, I went back to listening to Lance.
"Oh," He smiled, "Thats Andreas, a very very skilled Coordinator. He's actually about your age, Bella." He looked at me, then looked back at Andreas. "Andreas!" He called, I went red. Why would he call him over. I recovered quickly as Andreas swept quickly across the wide room to where Lance and I stood.
"Hello Lance," He said in a wonderfully velvet voice. "Who is this young lady?" He said, gesturing his hand towards me.
"Ahh, this is Bella, Bella Rollie actually, Cynthia Rollie's daughter." Andreas gasped at the mention of my mothers name. I smiled. My mother, Cynthia Rollie was Elite Four champion at age 21. My father, was a fabulous battler as well. Lucian, Psychic master! And here I was, blood of a battler, but only Bella, The Coordinator.
"B-bella? Bella Rollie? So it's true. You're the girl who could end up being famous as a battler, with your parents skills flowing in you. But you... only a Coordinator?? Why?" I laughed.
"Why are you a Coordinator?" I said smugly, he didn't answer though. I sighed. "Because I love Pokemon, not in a way to put them against each other to fight to get hurt. But in a way to that I get to exploit the beauty of them, and their power without hurting them." My voice started to break, but I finished my point anyways. I hated answering this question over and over again.
"Oh," Thats all you have to say? Oh. Thats a great great reply!! I rolled my eyes. "Thats not what I meant, sorry Bella. I thought there was more," There was.
"There is." Lance said. Thanks... He looked at me now. "Bella, show him Misery," He grabbed the Pokeball on my belt and handed it to me, I looked at it, than at Lance. He smiled and I let her out.
"Mis...Mis...MISDREAVUS!!" She was furious that I hadn't let her out sooner. Bella! Why did you make me stay in there so long?! That was horrid. She thought, If I had half the nerve of you I'd make a scene. She started to shake with anger, and was making a low growling sound that frightened a few people who were watching.
"Oh calm down Misery," I snapped
Calm down? CALM DOWN!? She was yelling inside her head. WELL WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE STUCK IN THAT... THING! REALLY BELLA, I HATE IT AND YOU MAKE ME SPEND A EXTRA HOUR IN IT?! She was thoughtful for a moment, her ideas flashed in my mind.
"You are NOT doing that," I yelled, forgetting no one knew who I was talking to. I must have looked like a mental patient at that point.
"I..Think I'm going to go now." Andreas said.
I laughed. Misery clammed down and drifted down to about head level with me.
"Andreas," Lance said in a comforting tone, "I'll explain about Bella." He looked at me and laughed, but continued "Bella, dear why don't you go with Misery to get dressed and ready for the contest. It starts in three more hours." He was smiling again. Fighting a laugh, I rolled my eyes at him and replied a simple "sure," and walked away from them both while Misery danced her special dance behind me.
When we were out of view of anyone I turned around quickly and stared right into Miserys eyes. She whimpered knowing I was about to explode with anger.
"Misery..." I said in a quiet voice, "Why. Why would you make me look like a fool like that? Really, that was so rude. I know you were terribly angry, but you didn't have to embaress me like that." She was laughing. YOU.. think.. I... TRIED to... emberess.. you? She thought in between mental spasms of laughter, now she started to laugh aloud, for a Misdreaveus her laugh was as beautiful as her. I'm sooo sorry. She dragged out the 'so' a little to dramatically, I rolled my eyes. I changed the subject now that she was back to her sarcastic, annoying ways.
"So... What should we do for the Contest? Go with spooky..er cool or beauty? I think you're moves fall more under the beauty category than cool. But I don't really care. With us all I need from you is to listen to my thoughts, like always so that I don't have to say it out loud and look too... normal." I smiled. Alright Bells. She thought. I'm ready, I'm just going to run and see Anna for my contest...outfit..er.. whatever. She was off and speeding through the air in seconds. "FINE!" I yelled as she breezed away. Stupid Misdreaveus.... I thought. I could hear her laugh echo, but I didn't care.
I went to the stage door to watch some of the other Coordinators. I saw Andreas.. He had a shiny budew out.. That is not what hes using here is it? I thought, Like he'll lose for sure! Oh well. What do I care. I laughed. Andreas looked my way and smiled. He reached for something on his back... A Pokeball. He let out a Pokemon, but he positioned himself in front of it so I couldn't see what it was. Then I saw the Pokemon, and it let out a great sound, "Luuuucario!" It said as it leaped for me. I screamed....

 

[Red Ink]

Chapter Three:
Blow out...
The Lucario stoped mid pounce, and Andreas laughed. I was in tears.
''THAT WAS NOT FUNNY!" I roared. ''I thought it was going to attack me.'' My heart had yet to start again.
''I'm sorry, Bella. I was just kidding around. Are you alright?" He looked worried now, no sign of pleasure left from his cruel joke.
''I'm okay, seeing that I just had a Lucario almost sicked on me." He laughed, and I remembered how to breath again.
''Well, if it scared you that much, then I'm terribly sorry.'' He said, with a wild smirk on his face. I felt like stomping on his foot, to see if he'd still smirk after that, but the Lucario was in a defensive pose directly in front of him.
''Lucario," He called, ''Return.'' And he shot out the Pokeball, and Lucario obediently went in.
''I wish Misery would do that...'' I mumbled.
''Do what?'' Andreas asked, curiously.
''Go into her Pokeball with out the big scene and all the fuss she gives me.'' I mused.
I heard that... Misery thought as she entered the room. She floated up to my side and leaned her body into me.
''Hello Misery,'' Andreas said, Misery growled.
Do you not like him? I thought.
No. She answered quickly along with another short growl.
''Well....'' Andreas said, ''I best be going, I should really get Budew ready for the contest.'' He winked.
''You really aren't going to use that, are you?'' I said, a hint of confusion in my voice.
''No,'' He replied turning away, ''It's only here as a trick, to throw my competition off.'' I couldn't tell if he was serious or not, only time could tell.
As he walked away I headed out into the seats where Lance and the other Judges would sit, as I leaned into the desk, Lance ran into the room, calling my name, I shot up.
''Bella! Bella!!" I screeched.
''Whats wrong?'' I said, shocked.
''Your mother wants to speak with you right away, come to the main office, please.'' He said, grabbing my hand and towing me towards the door.
Once in the office he handed me the phone.
''Bella?'' My mom said in a frightened voice.
''Yes mom?'' I answered
"Oh Bella, thank goodness. I need you to come home this second, something terrible has happened in Verity Lake and Professor Rowan and I are heading their now. I need you to stop at the Poke Center and pick up my Roserade and Garchomp, I have to go now, please hurry Bella!" Mom hung up the phone before I could reply. She was talking so fast, all I knew was this had to be important if she was making me miss the contest. I glanced at Lance, he looked worried, and stunned.
''I have to go.'' I said heading to the door, ''Something has happened in Verity Lake, and mom and Professor Rowan are terrified.'' I shot out as he followed me through the Contest hall, I was almost running, I felt bad that he had to try and keep up.
''Okay, wish them both good luck from me, I'll stay here.'' Lance said worried, he stopped, I turned to face him.
''I'm sure it's nothing severe.'' I assured him. ''Well, I'll see you again soon! Pleasure to see you again Lance.'' I said, in a brighter tone.
''Ha. Yes, nice to see you again as well, Bella, always a pleasure.'' He said. I gave him a wave and smiled and sprang back into running. I had almost forgotten about Misery til she cut me off in front of the door.
Where are you going without me?! She thought, terrified.
OH!! I'm so sorry, Misery, but we have to go! I thought, chucking the Pokeball at her, it caught her while she was squirming. ''What attitude I am sure to get once I let her out...'' I said, and shuddered at the thought.
I ran out the door, but to my surprise I couldn't find Bizza anywhere...I searched the Contest Hall's surrounding area to find her no where.
''Bizza!!'' I called, while strangers gave me curious looks, here I am standing in a contest outfit, yelling for my Pokemon... Then I saw her, she was flaping her wings, and making a scene. Some twit must of thought she was a wild Pokemon, I ran over to help my mothers poor Pokemon....

 

[An-chan]

Okay. I have to tell you a few things for starters. You're not likely to get many readers of reviewers this way. This is because
1) The huge pink text on top of the page is eye-killing and also a little frightening. I suggest you take away the pink color and shrink the text to normal size. People will read it anyway, because it's the first thing there is. No need to exaggerate!
2) Your formatting is, so to say, horrible. You should have empty spaces between paragraphs and the stuff people say. Like this:

Chapter One: Not a dream

"Bella dear, it's time to go. Come now." Her voice echoed like wind chimes, singing for me.

"Yes yes, I'm coming Mother, wait please, wait." I said, groggy from just waking up.

"You're going to be late for the contest!! Come now, hurry. Get dressed, I made you and Misery breakfast," I jumped out of bed, but she continued to talk, "I knew that would get you up. Come on now, I'll be down stairs in the kitchen. I made you and Misery pancakes, and they're getting cold as we speak."

I got dressed quickly after this, I love my mothers pan cakes, chocolate chips, melted and cooling as they hit your tongue. Mouth watering even thinking about them. I ran down the stairs and tripped twice, as I was running down I saw Misery dancing her way through the room--well dancing in her own way, really she floated.. no drifted into the room with serene grace.

That way, it's easier to read and doesn't hurt people's eyes. Try fixing your formatting, I can guarantee you that it makes it easier for you to get readers.
3) Your chapters are short and you're posting them like a machine gun. Maybe you could merge all these three chapters into one longer chapter? Also, you should always wait at least few days before posting more, because people get overwhelmed if you keep the chapters coming all the time. Give people some time to read and review before posting a new chapter.

Other than that, your story is a bit lacking on the grammar department. Maybe you should proofread your work more carefully, because those mistakes really disturb the flow of the story at some points. I'm sorry that I can't help you more with this, as I'm not exaclty the master of this language myself. Anyway, I can see from your text that you can do this, so I suggest you put more effort and care into your writing to bring out your full potential.
Also, you have very little description. Notice how the species of Misery isn't revealed until in the second chapter and so on. That's not really how it should be. You should tell us more about Bella: what does she look like? What is her personality like? The same thing goes for Misery. Also, you can describe Cynthia, you can describe their house, you can describe the breakfast more, you can describe Lance and Bizza (expecially why it is so important to Cynthia) and Andreas...
Frankly, after reading this, I don't feel like I know any of the characters at all. I know you have a vision in your head, so share it with us. Tell us about the contest hall. Add more to the flashback. Tell us about the characters. That way, we readers can identify with them easier. With more description, you can sweep people to the story with Bella. Isn't that what you should aim for?

So, you should add description, proofread more carefully and fix the formatting. Then, you're good to go. The story seems interesting enough, although it's hard to say yet since not a lot has happened. Keep writing, and remember what I said.
I wish you good luck ^-^

Also, don't get worried if you don't get many comments. I get comments only occasionally, but I know people still read what I write. If you don't get any responses, don't give up! There's always someone who is interested in knowing what happens next in your story ^-^