C.H.I - The Arrest [ i ]

[Sankari]

Some of you may know of this fan fiction's first attempt at starting up and attempting to go beyond, but it sadly started up and easily went kerplop. It only lasted a prologue, a chapter, and lost merely from lack of planning and description. I am praying that the same won't happen with this renewed version, which I have carefully planned and explained in words the best I can. Compared to my earliest work, Through Espeon Eyes, this is God. Enjoy this three-part fan fiction, this being the first of them all.

C.H.I. –
The Arrest
[ part I of III ]

​

[ i ]

The Underground Department of Growing Thieves, more widely known as "Underdog", was a place that many people knew of but few knew anything about. If you brought the subject up with a commoner at a restaurant or bar, they wouldn't be too keen on it. They'd know it had something to do with law enforcement or criminals, but a Department of Growing Thieves? Someone must have created the idea as a joke to start a wave of pointless fear.

At least, that was what everyone thought of it. Children would tell stories about it, as children often did, creating fables off the top of their heads about how they had once been held against their will under the ground inside the depths of the facility. Their throats were poked with rifles and they were interrogated brutally on terms they did not know of, like, "Where's the treasure of Old Dusty Bones?"—all the nonsense that builds up in a child's mind.

Underdog, however, was more real than those of above ground knew. It lay miles below the great city of Sootopolis, hidden skillfully under coral where only a growing thief would know how to get in. Recently however, high staff members of the corporation, once realization that their cover was being blown and their identity was becoming wider known, was not satisfied. Garshall Lennings, the leader of the whole Underground Department, was the most displeased of them all.

"How is word getting out so easily?" he half-shouted, half-grumbled across the table at his second hand, Saliskis. The snake recoiled and whipped his tongue at the bang of Lenning's fist on metal. He wisped his tail around in a gesture representing a shrug and stuttered quickly at the flash in his leader's eyes, "I'm not c-c-c-certain, s…sir. Employeesss, though, have a s-suspect in mind, I pre…I presssume, er, sssir."

"Who, must I ask, is this so-called 'suspect' you speak of, Saliskis?" the stout creature drummed his stubby fingers on the dumpster bottom which served as the top of his desk. The viper shivered pusillanimously, in a manner which was most unsuitable for his ominous patterns of black and violet and yellowed fangs that should have but almost never portrayed death.

"There are many s-suspects, s…ssir." The viper looked up to the corroded metal ceiling and ticked members of Underdog off on his tail. "Rickard Apalakisss, Tresssa Frel, Fara Kneed--"

"Fara?" Garshall looked up to the ceiling as well as if Saliskis had found the bird's face amidst the rust in the ceiling. "I thought she left—ran away. Didn't she take off the other week?"

"Y…yesssssir." The nervousness was building up in this coil of an animal. He sunk low, not continuing on with voice. Garshall peered over the edge of his desk at the simpering creature. Sternly, he asked, "Is there something more that I should know? Something, perhaps, that you are hiding?"

The dark snake took a breath to muster up his courage. "Ssshe became a teacher, sssir. A teacher at a non-thief ssssschool. Ssshe's teaching ruddy little normal kidssss who don't know a thing about theft and…and sssshe's ssssupossssedly let ssssslip newssss about Underdog, sssir.

"Hah." Garshall sunk back into his spinning chair and did a twirl on the spot, "So, basically, Fara Kneed has betrayed us?"

"Ssssome sssay that sssshe hassss told them all about work sssshe'sss done here…but of coursssse, they'll all forget when they're older…"

"How old are the kids she's teaching?" Garshall asked eagerly. "Where's the school? What's it called?"

Saliskis looked simply baffled. "Well, um…the children are in sssecond grade, and…the ssschool is in Russstboro Cccity...and it'sss called Russstburo Elementary, sssir."

"Hm." The stout leader unsheathed a pen from his pocket, cli-clicked it, and made notes on his hand. He scooted backwards in his chair with wheels and held a button on the counter. Saliskis flinched at the sound of his leader's voice echoing through the metal ramparts.

"Delta Roso, please come up to my office immediately. Delta Roso."

The name "Roso" bounced off the walls countless times, Saliskis shifting his eyes from side to side edgily. Garshall, however, disregarded his own voice coming back to him. He studied the palm of his hand he had taken notes on, flexing his stubby brown fingers. A voice came back, but not repeating perpetually down the halls. It came not from the intercom but from a speaker somewhere around Garshall's desk. "I'm coming, sir." It had uttered softly. Garshall responded boredly, "Very good, thanks."

What seemed like seconds later, the door behind Saliskis creaked open and a red creature coated in black polka-dots had emerged from the noisy halls, holding a clipboard close to her chest and wearing jazzy spectacles upon her eyes. They were rather large glasses, but looked incredibly miniscule against her bulging bug eyes.

"You wanted to see me, sir?" She asked innocently as if she had done nothing wrong. She flashed a questioning look at Saliskis, crimpled up in his chair, although she seemed worried about the seat rather than the one occupying it

"Oh!" Garshall stood up in his chair to look twice the height he was. He nodded to Saliskis. "You are excused, Saliskis. You may go."

The snake uncoiled himself and flicked his tongue, falling into a heap on the floor and slithering off into the hallway traffic, closing the door behind him.

"So, Delta." he began, "Have you heard the rumors about Fara Kneed?"

Delta took a seat with care and looked resentfully away from her leader's skull helmet face. "Sorry, sir, but I'm not the one who really listens to gossip. I wouldn't know any rumors."

"Ah, it doesn't matter." Garshall remarked, "Being a gossip hoarder isn't exactly healthy, but this is a rumor that my second hand just mentioned to me about Fara Kneed…that she ran away to go and teach normal kids, and that she spilled the beans about us."

"Kneed, sir?" The secretary looked simply puzzled. She cocked her head. "But sir, she didn't run away. I mean, I'm quite sure she's teaching on the outside, but she didn't run away. Saliskis fired her."

The eyes behind the skull helmet flickered with both bafflement and a strange anger that Delta could not define. "On-on what terms?" Garshall asked weakly.

"As I recall, it was a ridiculous cause." Delta giggled, "Fara was in a whole flurry of anger. She had only walked in on him while he was, er…using the restroom."

Garshall didn't know if he should laugh or shout in anger. He seemed to do both. For his size, he created quite a booming, angry voice. "I guess we know the next one to be fired." he gruffly remarked with an odd titter, "And I'll need a new second hand as well. You can take that position, Delta."

"But, sir…I…" the bug regained her composure and straightened her collar, "Sir, what did you call me for in the first place?"

"Ah! Yes, of course!" Garshall flipped his hand about and studied the smudged ink on his hand, "As you know, Fara is supposedly giving out information and I don't want our word spreading too far. Pretty soon the police may get involved. I know it's only children and Kneed we're dealing with, but children can make something that's big to them even bigger to the police department, even if it's something as trivial as them playing a video game rated over their age." Garshall laughed at his own cruel humor, "Write this down." He remarked sharply and Delta scrounged in her handbag, taking out a pen. She flipped paper over on her clipboard and looked up for the information.

"On the front page of our website, I want you to post a job offer—someone to spy on Fara Kneed. Explain everything about her and why this is. The school is Rustboro Elementary…and their goal is mainly to interrogate Fara in secret and/or just simply discover if she really is feeding information to children. And, well…you know more about job applications than I do, so…"

"I understand, sir." She tore off the paper skillfully and folded it up into her breast pocket. "Is there anything else, sir?"

"Indeed, yes." Garshall spun from side to side in his chair, his fingers folded, "I want you to catch up with Salikis when you can and fire him. Here…" he took a gold and black pen out of a filing cabinet with great dexterity, "If he questions your authority, show him this. He knows very well that I only give important staff members my lucky pen. Just consider it a hall pass."

Delta hesitated, but accepted the pen and nodded her way out. Garshall grinned.

"Vixar, Vixar, Vixar…" he uttered under his breath as he straightened a few papers stacked on his desk, "Wherever you are, you'd better come back and see me sometime."

He brushed a few papers away and revealed to his eyes the front cover of a newspaper which held a magnificent picture of a shadow against the moon—the outline of svelte figure dashing across a clothesline with a bag of loot over his back and a trail of nine magnificent tails flooding out from behind him, along with the scatter of dollers. Garshall glowed with pride at the headline:

​

"White Flame" –Invincible!​

"I really do miss you." he whispered. "You'd better take up the job, you old mutt."[/aria]

[]

If I confuse you, good. That's supposed to happen XD You'll understand better in the next chapter. Comments are cherished and criticism is more than welcome. If you spot any grammar that needs correcting, please don't avoid telling me! Corrections help me improve my writing skills. I like that ^^ Learning is fun! *gets hit with a book *

So, anyways, what do you think?

 

[Alter Ego]

Ehh...just as a general note, the font you're using is a wee bit straining for my eyes, any chance of changing it to the standard one or at least increase the size a bit? It's a bit of a pain to have to copy it into the reply window for reading (I tried the original and it started giving me a headache around the fourth paragraph -.-). Well, anyway...

[ part I of III ]

The Underground Department of Growing Thieves (better known as "Underdog") was a place that many people knew about but at the same time didn't know about.

Nyah, try to avoid using parenthesis unless you've got some special effect you want to achieve by it. When you put those into the text they throw the reader off the story and can be serious moodbreakers, try to integrate that piece of information into the text in some less conspicious way. Also, the "many people knew about but at the same time didn't know about" is a paradox. I know what you're getting it, but in this form it's still a paradox. You should replace the second "know" with an expression which is similar but not identical to the first one, such as "a place that many people knew of but few knew anything about" (I.e. A lot of people know that it exists but no-one really has a clue about what it's like). Also, the "at the same time" is kind of redundant, so remove it, please.

If you brought the subject up with a common one at a restaurant or bar, they wouldn't be too keen on it. They'd know it had something to do with law enforcement or criminals, but a Department of Growing Thieves? Someone must have created the idea as a joke to start a wave of pointless fear.

Ho-hum, "common one" sounds kind of odd. o.O Unless you've got some grand master plan of hidden meaning behind that expression, replace it with something like "ordinary person" or "commoner". There's something else that seems a bit off about this paragraph, but I can't put my finger on what, so meh...never mind.

At least, that was what the common folk thought of it. Children would tell stories about it, as children often did, creating fables off the top of their heads about how they had once been held against their will under the ground inside the depths of the facility. Their throats were poked with rifles and they were interrogated brutally on terms they did not know of, like, "Where's the treasure of Old Dusty Bones?" and whatnot—all the nonsense that builds up in a child's mind.

Nyah, the "as children often did" part needs to have something to refer to before it, so switch it around with the part about children telling stories about it. Also, 'about how' rather than 'that'. Also, mind your lexical choice. The 'whatnot' is a colloquialism which sticks out from the rest of the text. Try to save those kinds of expressions for dialogue unless you want them to stick out for a reason. Finally, the "where's the treasure of Old Dusty Bones?" bit should begin with a capital 'W' since it's the beginning of the quotation.

Underdog, however, was more real than those of the world knew it. It lay miles below the great city of Sootopolis, hidden skillfully under coral where only a growing thief would know how to get in. The corporation, once realization that their cover was being blown and their identity was becoming wider known, was not satisfied. Garshall Lennings, the leader of the whole Underground Department, was the most displeased of them all.

Nyah, the 'it' in the first sentence is redundant. Also, saying "the world" would imply that Underdog isn't a part of the world (Which is apparently incorrect since it's located beneath Sootopolis, which is part of the world) you should go with something like "than those in the topside world knew" (Substitute topside for a better expression if you can find one, I'm not at the height of my creativity right now. xP). Also, there seems to be a contradiction since you first state that Underdog is skillfully hidden and then say that their cover is being blown. Unless this "corporation" is some separate organization, although that would make little sense in this context, some kind of explanation along the lines of "but recently...[insert event implying a breach of secrecy here]" would be in order. In the way you are expressing yourself now, you're also implying that this "organization" is a living being capable of being unsatisfied, it should be something like "the leaders of the organization" and "were not satisfied".

"How is the word getting out so easily?" he half-shouted, half-grumbled across the table at his second hand, Saliskis. The snake recoiled and whipped his tongue at the bang of Lenning's fist on metal. He wisped his tail around in a gesture representing a shrug and stuttered quickly at the flash in his leader's eyes, "I'm not c-c-c-certain, s…sir. Employeesss, though, have a s-suspect in mind, I pre…I presssume, er, sssir."

When information in general is leaking out, word in general is getting out rather than any specific word, so there's no 'the' required. Also, "half shouted" and "half grumbled" need to be hiphonated and the 'he' in the first sentence shouldn't have a capital letter since it's not the first word in the sentence (The quote preceeds it).

"Who, must I ask, is this so-called 'suspect' you speak of, Saliskis?" the stout creature drummed his stubby fingers on the dumpster bottom which served as the top of his desk. The viper shivered pusillanimously, most unlike his ominous patterns of black and violet and his pointed fangs of poisonous yellow.

Again, there's a needlessly capitalized letter in the first sentence. Also, the "most unlike his ominous patterns" bit is kind of weird since it would imply that Saliskis' patterns and fangs aren't shivering with the rest of him, which is kind of odd. Maybe you should replace that with something like "in a manner which was most unsuitable for his ominous patterns of black and violet...etc."

"Y…yesssssir." The nervousness was building up in this coil of an animal. He sunk low, not continuing on with voice. Garshall peered over the edge of his desk at the simpering creature, "What are you hiding about Fara, Saliskis?" he asked sternly.

Nyah, a simple matter of reorganization to get rid of the rather clumsy comma construction you had there.

The dark snake took a breath to muster up his courage. "Ssshe became a teacher, sssir. A teacher at a non-thief ssssschool. Ssshe's teaching ruddy little normal kidssss who don't know a thing about theft and…and sssshe's ssssupossssedly let ssssslip newssss about Underdog, sssir.

'who' rather than 'that' when referring to people.

"Hah." Garshall sunk back into his spinning chair and did a spin on the spot, "So, basically, Fara Kneed has betrayed us?"

Comma rather than full stop after "on the spot". Also, having 'spinning' and 'spin' that close together is pretty clumsy stylistically, try to find a synonym for 'spin' and use that instead.

"Ssssome sssay that sssshe hassss told them all about the work sssshe'sss done here…but of coursssse, they'll all forget when they're older…"

Nyah, it's either "her work" without the "she's done here" or "the work she's done here" but you shouldn't mix the two.

The name "Roso" bounced off the walls countless times, Saliskis shifting his eyes from side to side edgily. Garshall, however, disregarded his own voice coming back to him. He studied the palm of his hand he had taken notes on, flexing his stubby brown fingers. A voice came back, but not repeating perpetually down the halls. It came not from the intercom but from a speaker somewhere around Garshall's desk. "I'm coming, sir." It had uttered softly. Garshall responded boringly, "Very good, thanks."

Just to check, are you sure you didn't mean to say 'boredly', as in "in a bored kind of way"? 'Boringly' would mean that he's boring the others.

"You wanted to see me, sir?" She asked innocently as if she had done nothing wrong. She flashed a questioning look at Saliskis crimpled up in his chair , although she seemed more worried about the seat rather than the one occupying it.

Again, you've mixed up two separate expression. You can do something rather than something else or you can care about something more than something else, but you can't combine the two. Also, you could remove the awkward 'Though' beginning of the last sentence by changing it to "although" and changing the full stop to a comma.

"So, Delta." he began, "Have you heard the rumors about Fara Kneed?"

You don't need a capital letter for 'he'. Also, comma rather than full stop since you're continuing the previous quote.

Delta took a seat carefully and looked resentfully away from her leader's skull helmet face. "Sorry, sir, but I'm not the one who really listens to gossip. I wouldn't know any rumors."

Two 'fully's close to each other. It's not downright wrong, but it sounds kind of repetitive, so I'd suggest looking for alternative ways of expression.

"Ah, it doesn't matter." Garshall remarked, "Being a gossip hoarder isn't exactly healthy, but this is a rumor that my second hand just mentioned to me about Fara Kneed…that she ran away to go and teach normal kids, and that she spilled the beans about us."

Comma rather than full stop after "Garshall remarked". A 'that' is also needed after the 'and' in the last sentence.

The eyes behind the skull helmet flickered with both bafflement and a strange anger that Delta could not define. "On…on what terms?" Garshall asked weakly.

Just as a side-note, the '...' notation signifies a slow fade into speechlessness, for more abrupt things, interruptions, hasty changes and/or repetitions of words etc. (Kind of like the 'on on' thing here) you should go with the line-thingie that looks like a hiphon. E.g. "On-on what terms?"

"As I do recall, it was a ridiculous cause." Delta giggled, "Fara was in a whole flurry of anger. She had only walked in on him while he was, er…using the restroom."

No 'do' required in the first sentence. Also, comma rather than full stop after "Delta giggled".

Garshall didn't know if he should laugh or if he should shout in anger. He seemed to do both. For his size, he created quite a booming, angry voice. "I guess we know the next one to be fired." he cackled, "And I'll need a new second hand, as well. You can take that position, Delta."

The second "if he should" in the first sentence is redundant. Another typical way of expressing this would be "Grashall didn't know whether to laugh or shout in anger". Also, the 'h' in "He cackled" shouldn't be capital and there's a redundant comma after "new second hand". Incidentally, you have a bit off an odd lexical choice there since cackling is usually associated with glee, which doesn't seem to be a very logical emotion for Garshall here to be going through at the moment.

"But, sir…I…" the bug regained her composure and straightened her collar, "Sir, what did you call me for in the first place?"

No capital letter needed in "the bug" and the full stop after "her collar" should be a comma.

"Ah! Yes, of course!" Garshall flipped his hand about and studied the smudged ink on his hand, "As you know, Fara is supposedly giving out information and I don't want our word spreading too far. Pretty soon the police may get involved. I know it's only children and Kneed we're dealing with, but children can make something that's big to them even bigger to the police department, even if it's something as trivial as them playing a video game rated over their age." Garshall laughed at his own cruel humor, "Write this down." he remarked sharply and Delta scrounged in her handbag, taking out a pen. She flipped paper over on her clipboard and looked up for the information.

Comma rather than full stop after "on his hand" and "his own cruel humor" and no capital letter required after "Write this down". Also, the "sharply remarked" should be "remarked sharply", the reversed order is only really used in poetry nowadays.

"Indeed, yes." Garshall spun from side to side in his chair, his fingers folded, "I want you to catch up with Salikis when you can and fire him. Here…" he took a gold and black pen out of a filing cabinet with great dexterity, "If he questions your authority, show him this. He knows very well that I only give important staff members my lucky pen. Just consider it a hall pass."

Pretty much regular stuff, comma rather than full stop after "his fingers folded" and "with great dexterity" and no capital letter in "he took". Also, no hiphons in "from side to side".

"Vixar, Vixar, Vixar…" he uttered under his breath as he straightened a few papers stacked on his desk, "Wherever you are, you'd better come back and see me sometime."

The 'he uttered' bit doesn't need a capital letter and the full stop after "on his desk" should be a comma.

He brushed a few papers away and revealed to his eyes the front cover of a newspaper which held a magnificent picture of a shadow against the moon—the outline of svelte figure dashing across a clothesline with a bag of loot over his back and a trail of nine magnificent tails flooding out from behind him (along with the scatter of cash). Garshall glowed with pride at the headline:

"White Flame" –Invincible!

"I really do miss you." he whispered, "You'd better take up the job, you old mutt."​

Just a reminder about the parenthesis thing. Also, no capital letter in "he whispered". You are also missing the last half of the

code there, so you might want to fix that. ^^



Aaaand that's about all the nits I managed to pick. Hope you're not feeling frustrated yet. xD Overall, the story seems interesting this far, and the characters certainly seem interesting enough. (Why do I get the feeling that Garshall isn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box? xD) I also like the fact that you didn't give away your game yet as it's a nice incentive to bring people (including me) back for the next chapter. Keep at it. ^^​

 

[Sankari]

Frustrated? Why would I be frustrated!? I love criticism!

Honestly, that was really nice of you to pick out all those careless grammar mistakes I made...and I made a whole darn lot. I need to learn not to capitalize after a quote and put commas afterwards.

I'm glad you like the story though ^^ Unfortunately, I'll be updating WEEKLY. This gives me more time to type it up.

 

[Gohan]

Hey there, Spoony~Chan, I missed you and your fanfictions.
I caught some of the errors that Alter Ego did, but since they already pointed them out, there's really nothing left to say. The story draws you in with its air of mystery. I'll definently be back, promise.

No matter what you say, Through Espeon Eyes will always be the best to me.

 

[Sankari]

The story hasn't even started, my dear Gohan. I'm sure you'll change your mind X3

[ ii ]

The three inhabitants of the Vixar Hutches' residence including Vixar Hutches himself were not at that moment "invincible." He wasn't on his usual pass time of looting the bank or some rich snob that he came to dislike in the past (but came to actually favor after lifting a few treasures off their hands). Actually, at that moment, Vixar Hutches was sleeping. Anyone could beat him at that activity for he slept such a short nap every time he did it and his naps were always troubled with—not guilt—but on who he should pickpocket next time around.

Vixar loved the life of a thief. His parents weren't necessarily the thieving type, though—it didn't run in his blood. In fact, his mother and father were quite normal folk as far as he could tell from his memories of them. His father was an engineer, though not the top in his class, and his mother was the one who was the stereotype of a mother—she was the housekeeper. Even if they weren't at all thieves, it was partly their fault he became one. They were murdered.

When the realization of orphan-hood sunk into Vixar's young mind, he took off and hid somewhere in the woods, far away from police investigations and interrogations. Policemen unnerved him with their rules. He never liked rules…and heck, they didn't like him.

He met a squat young fellow somewhere in the middle of his lamentation. He was brown and scaly and his head was enclosed within an animal-like skull. He held a bone in his claws as stubby as himself. He held out his hand to Vixar and asked what the matter was and the fox, although he quaked with sorrow, had spilled every last detail out in choking sobs and watery coughs.

And then the creature told him of a place where he could stay—a place where most orphaned pups went when lost in mourning. "Underdog," he called it. "It isn' exactly an 'underdog…'" he chuckled as he led Vixar to his home, "It stans for sumfin thad I can' rememmer."

The walk to Underdog was a blur, for the place itself had taken it from his memory. The stubby fellow known as Garshall had led him to the beach atop the coral jutting out above the surface of the water. They stumbled across the barnacles that held on for dear life across the rocks and Garshall bent down, turning a certain one among them all—a rather large one. He turned it as easily as a doorknob and opened the door to Vixar's new world. Garshall pulled the six-tailed fox into the hole and brought him to the massive underground training grounds for thieves.

And that was that, and the rest was history. Vixar was trained up to become a high-class thief and that's just what he grew up to be. Once he came of age, he packed up his bags and bid farewell to Garshall, who had recently become the leader of the whole Underdog organization. The creature definitely had tears in his eyes as Vixar turned his nine tails and took the lift up to the surface world once again. He had decided the night before that he would find the killer of his parents and kill him, avenging them. Then, and only then, could he live on and die in peace.

Since Vixar was sleeping at that moment, he wasn't really thinking all of this over. He was simply snoring softly under a small book (How To Prevent a Break-in) that balanced upon on his snout. He lay on the middle bunk of their triple-bunk bed while his cohorts sat up on the other bunks, the largest on the bottom, repairing what looked like a rug that a cat had chewed up and vomited out with a sewing needle, and the lightest one at the top, who was hiding under his covers and typing quietly away on his laptop's keyboard.

The large one was Hurdo Sharn, the brawns side of Vixar's gang. He held rock-hard plates against his body and bore a bulking frame. He took great pride in the horn upon his snout, which spun wildly whenever angered. Despite his size and threatening looks, he was rather gentle and astonishingly mother-like. He was often caught knitting rather ugly throw rugs and on certain occasions applying medicine to either Vixar or the smallest of the lot—Docker Nape.

Docker was miniature for his type. He was the runt of his litter, but you would expect he was the runt and still only a few years old. His species was most commonly larger than Vixar's species, but somehow Vixar towered over him like some sort of weed that hogged water and sunlight.

Nevertheless, Docker was the logic and smarts of the threesome. He was constantly researching who-knew-what on his trusty laptop all through the night and day. He took to staying back at the hideout, feeding his teammates information on where security cameras hid and which way to turn while they fulfilled what he called "dirty work."

You could say at that present time that Docker was under his bed sheets mainly because it was storming outside and the roof tended to leak, but he was really trying to be as subtle as possible, for he knew his constant computer work was getting on Hurdo's and Vixar's nerves. The glow of the screen could be seen through the blankets and the lump protruding from Docker's bunk looked like a luminescent specter in many ways.

Hurdo was halfway through stitching the last stitch of his repairments when a loud boom of "a-ha!" came from the glowing ghost two bunks above him. Vixar sat up with a start and hit his head against the bottom of Docker's bed while Hurdo bent his needle by poking himself far too roughly.

They looked questioning at the electric dog as he climbed down the side later with his portable computer clutched to his side. He beamed at both of them once he came to solid ground. As he opened the notebook to reveal the screen to them both, he whispered, "A job offer…"

"Job offer?" Vixar was still half asleep and squinted at Docker with an annoyed expression. "Why would we need a job offer? We're thieves! We nick money off of other people!"

"Don't you remember Fara Kneed, Vixar?" Docker brought the screen closer to the fox's face. "You two were old pals back at Underdog. The job offer is to basically just give her a visit, if you know what I mean."

Vixar took the laptop and studied the glowing screen. "No…I don't." He jumped off his bunk, careful not to land on Hurdo and read the offer more deeply, seeing the word "spy" somewhere in the midst of the words. "Oh. You mean eavesdrop on her?"

"Well, you don't need to eavesdrop." Docker laughed. "You could just, you know, disguise yourself and drop on in. The community has just started to figure out that you exist and I doubt that they know much of what you look like other than you have nine tails. I mean, there are many Ninetales in the world, right?" Vixar flashed Docker a scowl, "What I mean is, well, you could just pass by and not be recognized. People would only comment on how you're a Ninetales just like that guy who robbed the bank the other night, right? All you have do is dress casually (not wear all that gear on like you usually do) and walk down the street like an ordinary citizen."

"I dunno...." grumbled Vixar. He looked back down at the laptop. "She's a teacher," he laughed at this, "Rustboro…that's not too far from her…only north past those woods. I could do it, but what about payment?"

"There's payment." Docker took his computer back reluctantly. "I think you'll have to go to Underdog to pick it up."

The realization of going back to Underdog shocked through Vixar like lightning. At first, he thought Docker had used one of his electric attacks on him, but that was stupid. He tilted his head back in reminiscence, closing his eyes. "Underdog…" He whispered. "Wow. I haven't been there in about thirteen years…"

Docker looked confused. "Really? Isn't that just a year compared to your life-span?"

"Ah, thirteen years is thirteen years. Time goes by pretty damn slow with me." He mouthed "thirteen years" silently, staring off obliviously to the ceiling as if stars were strewn across it. "Heh, I've still got about seven hundred more years of life ahead of me. Seems pretty weird…"

Docker gazed upon the daydreaming face of Vixar hopefully, wondering if he had fallen to sleep with his eyes open. He folded his laptop so that it closed and he drummed his fingers upon it impatiently. "So…" he finally spoke, "…are you going to take up the job?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah!" Vixar straightened himself up, "Of course I will! I wouldn't pass up an opportunity like this…No way, no how. All I need is, well, casual clothes."

Docker scratched his head, causing the yellow spikes upon it to wiggle comically. "You mean to tell me you have no real clothes?"

Vixar shook his head, seeming a bit embarrassed. Hurdo looked up from the needle he was so intensely trying to straighten. "I got some!" he burst out rather surprisingly. Both Docker and Vixar jumped since they hadn't heard his voice in quite a while. He stuck his bent needle into his mattress and thumped over to a closet in the corner. Vixar went cautiously to his side to observe the contents.

"I doubt there's anything in there that would fit me, Hurd." he told him, sounding slightly annoyed. Hurdo shook his head continuously. "Nope, nope. I'm sure I have some stuff in here that would suit you well from when I was a bit smaller."

Vixar imagined his bulking friend in his teenage years, still getting the impression of him to be miles tall.

"Here we are!" Hurdo said from behind a curtain of extra large clothing. He emerged with a sleek, long, black overcoat. Vixar looked it up and down and liked it the more he gazed upon it. "Yeah…" he whispered, imagining himself strolling down the street in it. "Yeah!"

"May I remind you that you are not going on a date." Docker sternly remarked, "This is a serious—"

"Oh, can it, Dock." Vixar was instantly slipping the black coat on. He rolled his shoulders and looked down his body. The coat nearly swept the ground, leading down to his ankles. Hurdo took a good look at him. "Hrm….there's a lil' too much on ya."

"Too much?" Vixar looked questioningly up at him. "Ah, I know." He took off the coat and slithered out of his own shirt, pulling the coat back on. He laughed to himself and glanced over to where Docker stood. "Come on, Docker! You gotta admit—this is a freakin' cool coat!"

"Yes, well—" Docker cleared his throat importantly, "be that as it may, you must refer to this task as serious although it is quite different from your usual ones…" The electric dog gazed sternly upon Vixar who was busy studying himself in the mirror. "You're not even listening, are you?"

"Huh?" The fox turned on his heal and faced Docker for a fleeting moment. "Of course I am!" he grunted, although it was obvioiusly a lie. He twirled around once once to review his clothing.

"Hm-hm…My pants don't match the coat; their way too tight. You wouldn't happen to have a snazzy pair of pants, would ya?" he addressed Hurdo. The rock creature pointed his eyes to the ground, looking pensive. He dove back into his closet, resurfacing with a pair of worn, black jeans that were obviously far too large for Vixar to wear without pulling up the ankles or wearing a belt. However, the foxes eyes shined with delight.

"Perfect!" He undid his own belt, tossing all of his communicators and weapons over to a disgruntled Docker, and pulled the jeans over the pants he already wore, fastening the new ones properly on with his belt. The ankles of the jeans did in fact touch the ground and fold up a few times, but Vixar didn't seem to care.

"Awesome." He remarked in awe.

"You certainly look it." Hurdo beamed down on him.

Docker, still holding a pile of equipment in his arms, was particularly displeased. "It doesn't hide your identity enough. You still look like a thief."

"Who would have the slightest idea that I'm a thief?" Vixar asked. "All the cool people are wearing this kind of stuff these days, I'm sure no one will have a second thought."

Docker sighed, turning away. "I guess you're right." He dropped all the gear he held into an obscure corner. "The operation shall begin at around noon tomorrow."

"Why noon?" both Hurdo and Vixar asked. Docker raised an eyebrow at them both. "School hours, of course!"

 

[Sankari]

[ iii ]

Vixar never slept so well. For nearly ten hours he slept, undisturbed and without worries. His mind was occupied by seeing Fara again, visiting Underdog, and most importantly the opportunity to go through a normal day, as far as everyone around him would know.

He awoke an hour before noon with something sharp jabbing him in the shoulder. He looked at it side-ways, his vision focusing. The upper-half of Hurdo's face was seen gazing up at him. He was prodding him awake. "Vix," he promptly stated, "there's an hour ta go. Ya better get ready."

Vixar nodded and brought himself up, stretching. He bounded from the bed to wake himself up properly, then zipped his head around in every which direction.

"Where's Dock?" He asked, as he looked Hurdo up and down. The horned creature held the pants and jacket from the night before over his forearm.

"Oh, he's--" the rock jerked his head to the left, "uh, making some sort of fake ID for you. He says you can' make it inter a school without one." He shrugged, "Well, this one at least."

"Some fancy-pants school where all the kids wear uniforms?" Vixar snarled as Hurdo nodded, "Tch. My dad sent me to one. They're Nazi camps."

"Mm-hm." Hurdo nodded, the way he pursed his lips clearly saying that he couldn't relate.

"I wonder why Fara would teach at such a school." The fox mused, "She hated discipline. Then again, she'd never pass-up a job with good pay. Teachers must be swimming in dollars there."

"Knowing Fara, I'd say she decided to start a new life."

Both Hurdo and Vixar jumped and spun around, revealing the speaker. Docker had shown up rather silently beside them, a card at paw. He held it out to Vixar.

"Here." He uttered. "You're name for today is Robert Merrian. Don't forget to stick to that and not your own name. If some asks, you're Robert Merrian."

"Okay, I get it." He studied the eyes of what was supposed to be his own face on the card and frowned. "That guy looks nothing like me."

"He looks just like you, according to everyone else." Docker growled, "I don't have any pictures of you, so I used some other Ninetales I found online."

"He looks Chinese." The fox remarked, bringing the card up to the light, "his eyes are all squinty. Are you sure people'll buy it?"

Docker sighed, an annoying edge to his voice. "Look. No one studies someone's ID that intently. The character in the picture doesn't look exactly like you, but I'm positive someone who sits at a desk all day won't bother so much."

Vixar smiled, laughing heartily. "I'm just playing with you, Dock, don't take it so personally." He stood up and trotted backwards towards the bathroom with his arms open. Hurdo tossed him the ball of clothing, Vixar giving him the thumbs up as he zipped into the restroom to change.

Docker shook his head once the door closed. "He's getting far too overconfident. He may be three hundred and thirty years old, but he's gotten more cocky over the span of his life rather than wise."

Hurdo chuckled. "Ya don' know Vix as much as I do, Dock. He may be a bit full of himself, but he has more wisdom than us both, seeing the world for that long."

"I can hear you two, you know." A muffled voice from the bathroom called out. Vixar was yanking his shirt off over his head, mechanically pulling on the trailing jacket. He opened the door, smiling warmly. "I have more wisdom than you two combined!"

The friends he beamed as both chortled in their throats at Vixar's goofy grin. He forced himself between them and placed his arms upon their shoulders.

"Wish me luck, 'kay?" He patted Docker heartily on the shoulder and sprinted toward the front door. Before his paw reached the door handle, he flinched and spun around. "Oh! Dock—earpiece."

"Ear…?" Docker thought for a split second, "Ah, you won't be needing one. I thought better of it—might arouse suspicion."

"Good point." Vixar yanked the wooden, algae-ridden door open and was greeted by a side-ways gust of wind which caused his cape of a coat to fly. He saluted his two companions as he closed the door behind him.

He exuded a sigh as he lazily pocketed the fake ID he still held. He trod down the steps bouncily, turning back towards the weathered shack. The low roar of waves filled his ears more so than when he stayed cooped up it his hut of a home. He turned back around and plod down the pier and onto the sandy beach, the sand grains beneath his feet crunchy and wet from the recent high tide.

"Alrighty…" he told himself reassuringly, "someone somewhere once told me every journey of a thousand steps starts off with one"—he took a giant leap of a step, seeming to expect something—"…and so, only nine hundred and ninety more to go."

He traipsed on as he usually would except with a cool saunter in each step, radiating his black-coat-and-baggy-pants look.

Making his way up the shoreline, he felt a cool sensation come over the side of his left foot. He looked down and at it, seeing a foamy substance sink back into the ocean—sea foam. He shook the foot dry as he made a beeline sideways to get away from the tickling waters.

The entrance to Petalburg Woods (as the sign in front indicated it) seemed quite welcoming. Along with the name of the forest, the sign also held a faded map of the woods concealed under a clear, plastic casing. It also held a can on top, bolted to it, holding a few folded paper maps.

"Map…" Vixar said to himself to assure he was still there, "Do I need a map?" He put a claw over them and considered blankly in his mind. Vixar Hutches…with a map? It seemed a bit uncool. He quickly drew his hand away and shoved it into his pocket. "Nah…"

Just then, a small voice gurgled: "First time?"

The fox flinched and looked up—left—right—then down, finding a small, red, bug-like creature with heavy claws held in front of him. He was about the length of Vixar's forearm. He looked up at the fox expectantly with popping eyeballs.

"Er—" Vixar hesitated, "Yes…yes, this is my first time. Why--?"

"Then map." The lobster interrupted. Vixar blinked, a bit lost. He slid a map out of the can and pocketed it.

"Won't work that way." the red annoyance bubbled, "You open."

"Hey!" Vixar lifted a foot and harshly stomped on the sea creature. "Who said you were the boss, huh? If you haven't noticed, I'm a lot bigg—ouch!"

The fox fell backwards and cradled his foot in his arms, massaging it pitifully. The over-sized lobster crawled up with his six stubby legs onto Vixar's shoulder and whispered, "I pinch."

"I kinda noticed!" Vixar growled as he massaged his foot more fervently, "You didn't have to pinch so hard, though."

"Like to pinch." The creature clipped one of his massive claws and mustered a grin of glee. "Show through forest better 'en map."

 

[Gohan]

I think I liked the second and third chapters more.Hmmm, Vixar seems cool. :D
Umm, i can't really pick out any mistakes except that some sentences didn't make much sense in the way they were written.