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Comic Pokemon- A world divided

ShadowCat13133

61
Posts
17
Years
    • Seen Oct 29, 2008
    Last edited:

    [NovaPirate]

    And the rest went riding on.
    802
    Posts
    18
    Years
    • Don't mix sprite generations, you know, Fr/Lg, R/S/E, MD.
    Possibly a plot, that would be nice.
    Work on grammar, only a couple mistakes.
    Your speech bubbles look like thought bubbles with the dots leading up to it. Because not everyone in the Pokemon universe is psychic, with mind reading abilities, you might want to fix that.
     

    [NovaPirate]

    And the rest went riding on.
    802
    Posts
    18
    Years
    • I posted above you, Achamo x]
    mmK.
    My fault about the plot, what I meant to say is that we could get a better introduction about the characters, you know, possibly introduce them, get some names, a little bit of background information rather than just saying hello and battling.
     

    ShadowCat13133

    61
    Posts
    17
    Years
    • Seen Oct 29, 2008
    Newest
    https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a164/ShadowCat13/Comic/002.png

    Is this speach bubble better? I was thinking of not doing them any more because it take hour's to make them all by hand on Paint. I also have to fix the all the letter's in each sentence before putting them in the bubble.

    I Plan on doing Bio's if people like it, and you right that I should had said who the redhead is. You'll learn more of him and Kathy in the next few comics. Also I'll admit I'm bad at spelling and proper gramer. If any one wants to help me with the wording PM me.
     
    Last edited:

    [NovaPirate]

    And the rest went riding on.
    802
    Posts
    18
    Years
    • More introduction, as said before.
    Better graphics, and the Charizard magically changes colors. Use better grammar, and NEVER use N.J. for Nurse Joy. N.J. is a state.

    For the third, once again, don't use acronyms, even for things like Land Lord.
    And because it's so big it's blurry. Not good.
    And TUP.
    TUP is your enemy, never use TUP, use speech bubbles.
    ((TUP=Text Under Panel))
     

    The dawn Witch Lucia

    WTF YOU STALKER DAWG?!
    146
    Posts
    17
    Years
    • Seen Dec 10, 2007
    This comic could be good. Just fix up the grammar errors, and it has enough potential to be one of the best comics this season!~
     

    Esupio

    4,419
    Posts
    19
    Years
    • God, I remember when everybody used T.U.P and then suddenly everyone changed sides.

    What Astral said, don't use Text under Panels, if you want to focus on the text instead of whats going on, then you'd probably be better of making a fan fiction with pictures.
    The comic doesn't really make much sense, you haven't established any of the characters, where they are from, what they are doing, etc, also the plot is rather un clear, all I know so far is that somebody wants this other guy to spy on somebody.
    I think with some work you could definitely make this comic better.
     

    Dachampster

    128
    Posts
    16
    Years
    • Seen Oct 28, 2012
    Critic time.
    Page one- Lance does not own a Charizard, and if "Char" is the nickname, it should be capitalized. "Coming" does not have an "e". And why are there too many Charizard?
     

    ShadowCat13133

    61
    Posts
    17
    Years
    • Seen Oct 29, 2008
    It is lance and he does have a charizard

    I got this from a Silver walkthrough

    CHAMPION LANCE
    --------------
    Pokemon:
    ~ Gyarados L44
    ~ Charizard L46
    ~ Aerodactyl L46
    ~ Dragonite L47
    ~ Dragonite L47
    ~ Dragonite L50

    And as I said before I'm doing my best with the spelling and gramer. I failed english 3 times because I couldn't remember how to spell things or get the gramer right... i even took special classes to reteach me the basics and it only helped a little. It would be nice if some one wanted to help with the gramer.

    If everyone thinks I should go back to bubbles I will.
    The Charizard became red because it used overheat.
     

    [NovaPirate]

    And the rest went riding on.
    802
    Posts
    18
    Years
    • It makes no sense to me. First he's working for one person, than another, and when did he get a job, how did he learn to get an interview? Who is the girl that walks him in the wrong directing to get to Devon Corp? Who is his first boss, why does his boss change entirely, name and all, and why is there an exit on the second floor?!?
     

    Dachampster

    128
    Posts
    16
    Years
    • Seen Oct 28, 2012
    And why in the Nidoking battle, is there a shiny Charizard, but in a couple different panels in the battle is it normal?
     

    ShadowCat13133

    61
    Posts
    17
    Years
    • Seen Oct 29, 2008
    As I said before the Shiny Charazard used OVERHEAT......

    And Lance go him the job at Devon so he can watch Kathy. I have no clue what you mean about his boss changeing?
     
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