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[Other Original] Cronicles of the Patheon Samurai: The Lord of black lightning

djgrim

Grim
18
Posts
10
Years
    • Seen Oct 18, 2014
    Decided to pluck this from random story in my Atheria Chronicles, a series of stories I've been writing for a good five years.

    --WARNING--
    The following contains extreme violence and a excessive foul language. This material is not intended for people under the age of 18. Reader discretion is advised.


    The Lord of Black Lightning






    What do you know of heaven and hell? No, I'm not talking about angels anddemons. Higher. Deeper. Where do angels go when they die? Where do demons go when they die? And those not reincarnated as either,those who's sins outweigh their justice, and vice versa? A scholaronce spoke to me. He told me of two worlds, one in the clouds, wherethe most holy, most beautiful beings shine their light of justice onus from a world so far yet within arms reach. He told me of one with no sky, a dark, evil world, where wretched and evil beings spreadtheir invisible influence on our world, inspiring war, corruption,vanity. The world above is where the souls who have done the worldjustice go, and below, is where the souls of damned scream foreternity.




    Far fromBellum, there are several small islands known as the IsisArchipelago. They are split into six islands, each it's own country,but united under a government of democracy. Their separatemilitary's have not meet face to face in hundreds of years, so theyare mostly focused on individual rebel and insurgent forces thatoperate on the archipelago. In recent days, there has been noconnection to the south eastern island of Kelva. However, theneighboring island of Silvis picked up an encrypted S.O.S, and sent agroup of special forces soldiers to find the source of the S.O.S.







    Smooth Jazzmusic played through the VTOL's speakers. Eight men sat uneasy inthe back, waiting for the red light to turn green. They all remainedsilent as the ship entered the islands airspace.

    Their COMsclicked on and their Commander said "Double check your gear, we'redropping in three."

    They all stoodup and formed a circle, checking the person in front of them to makesure their gear was set.

    "Heycommander, what if we show up and everything's fine." one of thesoldiers said. "We'd look like ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥s."

    "We'd looklike ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥s with a piece of mind." He said. "This is a purelydiplomatic mission, and if thing are bad, it's recon."

    They finishedchecking their comrades gear and were in the process of doublechecking their own when the lights in the ship flickered and itviolently lurched.

    "Pilot!"The commander barked. "What the hell was that? Turbulence?"

    "No sir,it's..."

    There wassilence before the ship lurched once more and they began to descend.

    "We've lostflight control, navigations out... our controls aren't responding. Brace for impact!"

    The soldiersbraced as the ship fell, shrouded in a mysterious electrical energy. The ship hit the ground and slid, turning on it's side. The rightengine blew up as it turned into the ground, acting as a brake forthe ship. It's slid to a stop, and everything fell silent.




    Sergeant Hel"Hopper" Skeva, slowly opened his eyes and saw a slowly pulsingred light. A few of his fellow soldiers were already awake andpulling themselves out. Hopper released his brace and looked to hisright. The soldier next to him had been impaled by a piece of scrap.

    "Gods, Jerra. ♥♥♥♥ing Jerra's dead..." One of the soldiers said.

    One of theother soldiers struggled to get out and said "For god sake, closehis eyes Hopper."

    Hopper closedhis fallen comrades eyes and the soldiers began to climb out of theirharnesses.

    "What thehell happened? Electromagnetics?"

    The commanderchecked the cockpit and said "Pilots are safe, lets focus ongetting out before we start asking questions."

    "I bet it wasthose damn rebels we hit last month, they were targeting this samecity."

    "I said stowthe chatter Specter, Tank, open the back."

    The largestsoldier approached the back and attempted to open the back on thecomputer pad. It opened about halfway before it stopped, jammed. Tank cracked his knuckles and adjusted his neck.




    The back ofthe VTOL blew off and the soldiers climbed out. One by one they cameout and checked the area. The surrounding trees were scorched. Craters and wreckage lined the wasteland.
    "What in the..." Asoldier said.

    The sky wasgrey and the air was full with the stench of death. Some of theother soldiers turned around and saw the city they were flying to. It was broken and on fire, the buildings were full of holes withflames pouring out.

    "Commander, Idon't think diplomacy's going to help us here..."




    Several minutespassed...




    The soldiersand pilots salvaged what they could from the ship. The commanderapproached them and said "COM's are out. So, we're proceeding withrecon. We'll find a ship, bring it back, and get the hell home. Tank, Hopper, and Julius, you're with me. Everybody else, dig in atthe hill to east from here. If there's any trouble, fire off aflare, and we'll come running." He raised his voice. "Is thatclear soldiers!"

    They all yelled"Yes sir!" and began making their way to their respectiveobjectives.




    After about anhour, the recon team made it to the front of the city. The damagewas far worse up close. Fire spewed from the buildings that stillstood, wreckage lined the streets and corpses littered the ground. They examined the bodies and most of them were either cut or shotwith something that rotted their flesh and organs on impact.

    "By the gods,what in the hell is this?" Julius said looking into a mans chest.

    The flesh hadbeen had been removed in a circular shape and everything insidelooked black, the veins a verdant green.

    Their leaderspoke up and said "Let's keep moving, eyes open, and nobody shootsunless fired upon, understood?

    "Understoodcommander, suppression."

    They continuedmoving through the streets surveying the carnage. They eventuallycame upon a massive building.

    Tank spoke upand said "Commander, this is their trade and stock building. Theyalways have helo's up top. Should we check it out?"

    "Good callTank, let's pray the EMP didn't fry those too."

    They enteredthe building and found the elevators. Hopper pressed the button andthey waited for it, on full alert. The machinery inside whirred asthe elevator came down. As it drew closer, a loud creaking noise washeard, before wires snapping. They could hear the elevator as itcame down. It went past them and crashed into the basement below.

    They looked atthe elevator door and then each other before the commander said "Ok,♥♥♥♥ that. Let's find the stairs."

    They made theirway to the stairs and began to climb them to the top.

    Half way up,the commander held his fist up to order his squad to stop and bequiet. He approached the door and listened. He could hear voicesand things being moved around on the other side.

    He gave theorder to stack up. Tank and hopper took the two sides of the doorand the commander prepared to open it.

    He whispered"Ok, three, two, one..." He threw the door open and stepped backas Hopper and Tank raised their guns and entered. It was an officehallway, decorated with flickering lights, small fires, and paintedin blood. They looked around and didn't see or hear anything. Asthey moved down the hall, they could hear somebody calling for help.

    They movedtoward the source of the sound and came to a door at the end of thehallway.

    "Help! No,please oh god no!"

    They quicklystacked up for a breach.

    "GO!" Thecommander yelled.

    Tank busteddown the door and they entered a meeting room. They heard the voiceagain from the other room.

    "No please! I don't want to-"

    A strange noisewas heard before silence. They entered the room and found the mantied up in the chair, only his head was on the ground.

    "♥♥♥♥,whatever did this is still in here." Tank said.

    "Eyes open,weapons free!"

    "No contactcommander, where is it?"

    A stapler felloff the desk and they all pointed their guns at it. Behind the deskwas a large figure. It was bipedal with pitch black skin, glaringred eyes. It was adorned with a strange metal armor that covered itswhole body. In it's hand it held a razor sharp sword, still drippingwith the mans blood.

    "♥♥♥♥..." The commander said "Open fire!"

    They all beganfiring at it full auto, but it held it's hand up and a black holelike force appeared in its palm. The bullets were sucked in as itdrew closer to them. It swung it's massive blade at hopper, but hemanaged to duck it. Tank kicked the monster in the side, but thearmor stopped the impact. The monster did a full circle swing. Julius fell to the ground next to his arm and screamed in pain. Themonster came after hopper in a flurry of swings.

    Hopper duckedand dodged until the monster grabbed him by his neck and picked himup. He was about to stab him when hopper grabbed his flashlight andshined it in the monsters eyes. It reeled back and roared in pain,dropping him. The commander opened fire and the bullets impacted onthe monsters armor, having no effect. It blinked it's eyes and it'svision began to clear. It pulled what could only be a pistol fromit's holster and aimed it at Hopper. Tank screamed as he tackled themonster and pushed both of them out of the window.

    "TAAAAANK!" The commander yelled.

    He looked atthe street below and saw several figures off to either side of thebuilding.

    He looked backat Julius. Hopper was doing every thing he could to keep him fromgoing into shock.

    "Hopper,I.... ♥♥♥♥! We need to get out of here. Grab Julius and we'll-"

    An explosionwas heard below and the entire building shook constantly.

    They fell downand it began to stop shaking for a moment. They watched as a smallmetal ball fell from the desk. It rolled toward the window andpicked up speed. They then realized, the building was tipping.

    "No..." The Commander said.

    They began toslide toward the window.

    "♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ shiiiiit!" The commander yelled as he slid out the window,trying to grab something. Hopper and Julius began to fall, butHopper grabbed onto the window sill, holding on to Julius. Thebuilding fell further and further and Hopper watched in fear as ithit the other building. The sudden jerk caused him to lose his gripand he fell, his mind only on the lives of his friends, family, andpeople. He prayed, that somebody, that anybody, could save them fromthe coming invasion.




    Three dayslater, at Silvis special command...

    The commandcenter was in chaos. People moved from station to station, andpapers littered the floor. At the top, behind the observationwindow. Several Generals counciled about the attack.

    "They'rehitting every major city, but the capital is untouched."

    "Casualtyreports are coming in by the hundreds, they're overwhelming us.

    "Evacuationprocedures are looking grim. Electronics are down in some areas,making it difficult for us to evacuate out civilians."

    A young manwith short cut brown hair wearing a suit entered the room and theyall stood and saluted. A five star General approached him and heldout his hand. "Mr President, things look grim."

    The presidentshook his hand and said "I've read some of the reports. Is thecapital evacuated?"
    "Yes sir. Only military personnelremain."

    "And theother cities?"

    He lowered hishead and said "We've lost contact with most of our major cities. They caught us by surprise sir."

    "Can wesurmise these forces were responsible for the loss of contact withKelva?"

    "It's safe toassume so sir. With that, I believe we should evacuate ourselves. Your flagship is on standby, waiting to receive you sir."

    "Tell theship to get in the air along with the first airborne. I want thesky's above us locked down in ten minutes."

    "Sir, Ihighly recommend we evacuate you to-"

    "I will NOTstand by as our people are massacred. Now General, I want allattacking forces to dig into our remaining city's. Reinforcementsare on the way."

    "Sir,reinforcements? Are the other islands helping us?"

    "No, i'vecalled in special help. Atheria's shield is sending an army tohelp."

    Everybodystarred in amazement, and suddenly their hopes were lifted.




    Fifty milesoff the coast of Kelva, a massive fleet of airships made their wayfull speed to the besieged island, escorted by several fighters. Themassive flagship spewed out other airships. Frigates, Destroyers,and even Carriers were ejected from it and accelerated intoformation.

    Inside the mainhanger, several troop transport planes launched out of the bay. Several personnel watched as the next plane moved into position. Thecountdown timer started, and the engines fired up.

    The countdownhit zero and the ship launched from the bay. The hanger overseeropened up his COMs to the bridge and said "Callsign Wildcard is inthe air, repeat, Wildcard is in play."
     
    28
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    10
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    • Seen Jan 18, 2020
    I enjoyed the introduction, but you lost me after that. It seemed more like a cute conversation on a forum than a dark tale of Samurai and Gods.
     

    djgrim

    Grim
    18
    Posts
    10
    Years
    • Seen Oct 18, 2014
    It's kinda paving the way for the action. The Samurai come in at about chapter 3, but for now, it's the humans struggling to survive.
     
    28
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    10
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    • Seen Jan 18, 2020
    You don't want to bore the reader out of the story. I would tighten those conversations up and make them less cutesy. Reveal their nature through drama, not fruitless conversations. You need to establish the themes at the start of a story. If it's cute then all of a sudden samurais and Gods appear, it seems out of place.
     

    djgrim

    Grim
    18
    Posts
    10
    Years
    • Seen Oct 18, 2014
    You know I had to read your comment a few times, and I finally understand it. My biggest problem in writing is lack of dialogue, so I want to make sure I covered that. Guess I over did it a bit, looking back. lol
     
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