Death Etiquette

[Her]

When a person dies, there tends to be a social taboo placed on criticising them in any way following the death, to varying degrees of intensity. This is typically most prominent when the dead person is in politics or was in the public eye with a certain degree of notoriety. I'd say the most recent example of this was when Scalia died earlier in the year and predictably, there was an immediate social media outpouring heavily indicting him and many went so far as to celebrate his death. Naturally, there was an instantaneous response from many within the conservative/Scalia supporter camps or those who believe in the aforementioned taboo, condemning these people with force. Whatever the case, it was messy.

To what extent do you believe death etiquette should be practised? Is there a difference between how we should treat a private/'average' member of the public vs a public figure?

 

[mew_nani]

If we wouldn't insult a man behind his back in life why should we in death? They're not there to defend themselves any longer; only their family and friends remain, if they were lucky to have either. It's very rude to make horrid comments about people where they can't hear them, and since they're not here to be able to hear them anymore simply honoring their memory seems to be the right thing to do, especially considering the fact that their loved ones are still affected by their loss.

As for an average person vs a public figure, I don't really see how that would matter. I think their conduct in life would be much more important than whether they were in a high office or a beggar sitting on a sidewalk.

 

[Pokemon Game Fan]

I think it's fine. When Hitler died, people were happy. When Osama died, people were happy. When Scalia died, people were happy. It's for a good reason, they were bad people that were causing other people to die and/or suffer (I dont believe Scalia directly killed anyone, but he did cause a lot of people to suffer with his rulings). Plus, in Scalia's case - the only way for a SC judge to leave is via death or them choosing to leave. No one ever chooses to leave, so Scalia's only way out was through death. His death was - as mean/sad as it might sound - a good thing.

Now, I am not dictating who should or shouldn't die, but I don't see anything wrong with being happy when they do.

 

[Sir Codin]

People in Mexico have a specific holiday for celebrating the passing of loved ones, remembering the good things they've done and their memories, and help support their spiritual well-being.

If certain cultures can celebrate the passing of people they like, why not celebrate the passing of someone you hate? Especially if they've done genuinely terrible things, like Hitler, Osama, and Dom Quinto.

 

[Pokemon Game Fan]

^ That explains it perfectly. I didn't think of that.

 

[Mana1]

I think the most noteable case of this happening over in the UK was Margaret Thatcher's death. The hate people were spewing was ridiculous - I get that her reforms hurt a lot of people during her time as Prime Minister, but that was decades prior to her death where she had spent her last years suffering from dementia.

We should respect the dead, to a degree. Hitler and Osama are extreme examples, we shouldn't be celebrating the death of someone just because they upset a few people in life. It adds unnecessary grief to the family and friends, and it helps no-one.

In private, I get it. But social media brings out the worst in people in this aspect.

 

[Pokemon Game Fan]

I dunno. When it comes to Scalia, he was an awful person who had a lot of power and tried really hard to bring us back. He wanted to get rid of affirmative action which would've made it harder for minorities to get anywhere, he wanted to ban gay marriage cause he didn't support it, etc.

If he got what he wanted, gays wouldnt be allowed to get married right now. That would cause people who are gay to suffer and we wouldnt be where we are today.

Also, he would not have dropped his power, so the only way for him to go out and stop holding us back would be by death. So being happy with his death is completely fine, I think.

 

[Neil Peart]

If someone is an asshole in life, I don't mourn their death and speak freely. I'd expect the same treatment for me if I was a total asshole to someone in life.

 

[Esper]

Every dead person is (probably) someone's family or loved one who is grieving their death and it seems mean-spirited to celebrate their deaths, nazis and terrorists notwithstanding.

But when someone's well-known and their actions and choices have directly affected people, I dunno. There is a difference there. In a sense, we all do have a relationship of some kind to, for instance, the presidents and prime ministers who have run the country while we've been alive. When they die I think it's fine for us to have a reaction even if that's a negative reaction, and to speak about it if we feel like it.

I personally don't know anyone who takes the "don't talk bad about the dead" taboo to extremes, so I think that the real conflict is about time and place. Since people have social media it's really easy for something that might just be said among close friends and acquaintances to be read by many other people, and social media encourages us to be public about all our thoughts and feelings anyway.

I dunno where I'm going. I'm just rambling now.

the only way for a SC judge to leave is via death or them choosing to leave. No one ever chooses to leave,

AFAIK most justices retire, probably due to health concerns for many of them, but Sandra Day O'Connor, David H. Souter are both still alive and fairly active as judges, just not on the Supreme Court anymore. Admittedly, Scalia seemed like the kind who would never retire no matter how long he lived or how sick he got.

 

[Lunaris Adamantine]

You shouldn't treat someone any differently in death than you did in life. But you also shouldn't be grateful for anyone's death unless their entire existence resulted in suffering for a lot of people. Ya know, like Hitler and such.

But your neighbor, Steve, down the road who was kind of a dick? Yeah, he probably doesn't deserve much respect from you, but don't be a dick in return and disrespect his family who is suffering from their loss.