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Destiny's Scarf - [PG 13] OOC Thread

perfectmonster

Eggs Are Awesome!
312
Posts
14
Years
    • SIGN UP'S ARE CLOSED

    Destiny's Scarf – [PG 13]
    Owner: Eveelution, Co-owner: Perfectmonster
    Please post all SUs in the OOC thread.​

    Plot: A Mother Gypsy sits at a campfire, surrounded by a group of younglings. She quiets down their chattering, before throwing some shrivelled herbs into the fire that creates a thick, blue smoke. Several of the children cough, and the Gypsy's face appears out of the gloom. In a deep murmur she tells a fabled story;

    "According to legend, long before man became civilised, one being was charged with keeping the humans from destroying the balance of nature. This being was called Lady Destiny, who knitted out the scarves of human destiny. My grandmother herself told me how each stitch held the destiny of one person, and if it wasn't for Lady Destiny the world would fall apart, just like a jumper with a loose thread." At this point the children gasp, and lean closer to the fire. The Mother Gypsy continues her story, talking in a low, almost whispered voice; "Each stitch was a different colour, and by looking at that colour, you could see how that person's destiny would turn out. And most could be controled by Lady Destiny. Sadly, there were some stitches that could not be controlled by Lady Destiny's own powers. There were people who controlled their own destiny, and those people were enlisted as champions by Lady Destiny through a series of tests.

    "There were some, though, others who refused to serve her and wanted to use their powers to take control of the world. Lady Destiny's champions would be forced to challenge the rouges who tried to take over the world. One of the most famous of these conflicts is when Gold battled a grief stricken Pryce. Even now, in the men's golden age, we are still controlled by the destinies that Lady Destiny knits out." At this point the fire flickers out and everything fades to black, though you can still see the glint of Mother Gypsy's eyes as she whispers out, "And if she didn't keep up her work, then you can be sure that we wouldn't be here to serve her."

    Lady Destiny truly does exist, and you are one of the few who control their own destiny. Therefore, your life has always seemed to have bigger challenges then those of your neighbours, yet somehow, you survive these challenges. Then you, along with your one pokemon, receive a letter asking you to go to the first of the Sevii Islands, signed by the mysterious Lady herself. It explains that you are a stitch that is not within her power, and that you are to be enlisted as her champions. How will you respond? Will you bravely face your new situation or cowardly stumble through? Either way, you must be ready for anything, as your destiny is uncontrollable...


    Details: This is a chapter roleplay, and your characters will not interact unless it specifies so in the chapter. Please post your SUs here in the OOC thread by me. I am the co-owner of this roleplay, and Eveelution is the main owner. The setting is 2010 and the towns and cities are unchanged except for little house hold additions like an auto cooker, self heating blankets, and fancy TVs. Also, the battle frontier has been mostly unchanged, though many believe that Spenser may soon leave this world. There will be chances to catch more pokemon.


    Rules:
    No Godmodding
    No Bunnying without permission
    Stay active
    Follow all PokeCommunity rules and guidelines
    Romance is not allowed
    To show you have read the rules put 'Purplicious Pop Tarts' somewhere in your SU.
    Also, we have provided a SU and a link that shows the bare minimum of what Eveelution expects in SUs. Use them!
    If you want to interact with another person's character, you can ask permission from Eveelution and me, and then, if you have permission, do a joint post for the interaction. Though you would only interact in that one chapter.
    Feel free to reference other characters. An example is when you challenge a gym leader and they mention that they had in fact been defeated earlier that day.
    In ten days Eveelution will look over the submitted SUs and the best SUs will get the spot they wanted. If there is a SU that just barely misses the region they want, and Eveelution knows that they would be assured another region if they want it, he will PM them and ask if they want that region instead of the one they lost.
    You can reserve, but after three days you will lose your reservation. If a certain region is reserved, it just means that judging for that region will be postponed if needed. It is best come, best served. So there is no point in reserving unless it is the last two days before judging, and you really need the time.

    Open Spots
    There are five spots open, four for the four main regions, then a wildcard for any region in the games.

    Breezy. - Juno Keith - Kanto - Flare the Vulpix
    ~Princess of Johto~ - Paige Rose Korper - Johto - Shelly the Horsea
    Pikakip - Raydin Mathew Sear -Hoenn - Paras
    RainbowMunchies - Rain Chrysalis Tesla - Sinnoh - Shinx
    PsychoJigglypuff - Elena Claire Kenshaw - Orre - Swift the Gligar

    Sign Up Sheet:

    Name: (First and last, though I also urge you to put a middle name for realism).
    Age: (Anywhere between 13 and 16)
    Gender: (I shouldn't have to explain this. -_-')
    History: (How did your character grow up, what trials did Lady Destiny set upon them? 2 paragraph minimum)
    Personality: (What do they act like, how do they think! At least 2 paragraphs)
    Appearance: (Body image and clothing, at least a paragraph for each.)
    Chosen Region: (What region does your character come from?)

    Pokemon: ( Each trainer will have a different type of Pokemon according to which region they come from. It can be any Pokemon, but it has to be that type and evolve at least once. That means no spiritomb, ladies! Make sure you describe the pokemon's personality and mention their gender. Also make sure you mention how you got that pokemon.)
     
    Last edited:

    eveelution

    RolePlay Minion
    282
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • On April 17th I will accept SUs. Be sure that you submit all SUs by April 16th.
    Throughout the week I will point out things to improve SUs before I accept any SUs.

    Here's the link to the bare minimum of what we except.

    http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=116591

    Please keep in mind, that we want the SU to look like you worked hard on it! You will get effort points simply for that!

    -Eveelution, owner of Destiny's Scarf.

    P.S. This roleplay is a SUCCESS!!!!!! (So far)
     
    Last edited:

    ~Princess of Johto~

    Crystal > Lyra
    31
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • Name: Paige Rose Korper

    Age: 13

    Gender: Female

    History: Paige was born into a normal family, really. Her parents would help out in Ilex forest, by cutting down trees for charcoal. But, since Paige was one of Lady Destiny's "Champions", her life was very abnormal. She would survive life threatening situations. When she was 5 years old, she almost died when she fell into Slowpoke's well, in her hometown of Azalea town. Luckily, she landed on a Slowpoke's back. When she was 1 and 1/2, she was playing outside of her home, when an Ariados suddenly took her to "feast" on her. Luckily, she survived because her diaper was full of poop, and the Ariados probably didn't like that.

    Paige has gone through many other "challenges", but those were the most memorable. Her most recent was a year ago, when she was 12. She got lost in Ilex forest, looking for her parents. She was with her Horsea, as well. Then, they came upon the Ilex forest shrine. A huge flash appeared, and Paige was safely with her parents. Now, she is 13 and has gotten her first pokemon, a Horsea, for her 12th birthday. She cannot wait to go on her journey, and she is very confident with herself. But what really awaits her is unknown, because her destiny is controlled by herself...

    Personality: Paige is a very cheerful person. She's almost always happy, and almost nothing gets her depressed. But, what will get her depressed is when she loses anything. She has a very hard time getting over that, which is one of her flaws. Her most notable flaw is her over confidence. Because of her near death accidents, she believes that she is untouchable, which often irritates others. But, she does have good things to her personality. She is very good at making people happy. She believes that when she is happy, others will also be happy.

    Appearance: Paige has semi-long hair, that comes down about 1 inch below her shoulder, and is a brownish-red color. She wears a blue hair band to keep it all out of her eyes. She has light blue eyes. She wears a purple leather jacket, with a bright yellow t-shirt underneath. Her blue jeans are tucked into her brown boots (She is always wearing these boots, she loves them). She is also always wearing a necklace with a heart pendant on it, that she got from her mother.

    Paige is 5 feet, and 1 inch tall. She weighs about 92 lbs. Her skin is kind of tanned, but more on the white side. That's the gist of Paige's appearance.

    Chosen Region: Azalea Town, Johto!

    Pokemon: Horsea (Female) named Shelly. Shelly is very attached to Paige, and is also very much like her. They both have the same cheerful personality and the same over confidence. But, Shelly didn't like Paige from the start. She would ignore Paige all the time. Paige tried to give her treats, and play with her, but Shelly didn't cooperate. But, one day, Paige and Shelly were traveling in Ilex forest, and got lost in there (This was when they got lost, and found their way to the shrine). Shelly got attacked by a beedrill, but Paige saved her by simply spraying repel. Ever since, Shelly and Paige became more attached,

    I posted the 1st SU, hopefully more people post their SU's. I really like the plot, and am really interested in this RP. Purplicious Pop Tarts!
     
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    eveelution

    RolePlay Minion
    282
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • ~Princess of Johto~ said:
    History: Paige was born into a normal family, really. But, since Paige was one of Lady Destiny's "Champions", her life was very abnormal. She would survive life threatening situations. When she was 5 years old, she almost died when she fell into Slowpoke's well, in her hometown of Azalea town. Luckily, she landed on a Slowpoke's back. When she was 1 and 1/2, she was playing outside of her home, when an Ariados suddenly took her to "feast" on her. Luckily, she survived because her diaper was full of poop, and the Ariados probably didn't like that.

    Paige has gone through many other "challenges", but those were the most memorable. Now, she is 13 and has gotten her first pokemon, a Horsea. She cannot wait to go on her journey, and she is very confident with herself. But what really awaits her is unknown, because her destiny is controlled by herself...
    Click to expand...
    "Paige was born into a normal family, really." How was Paige's family normal, what did they do for a living. "many other challenges, but those..." No, no, no! Describe at least two of those challenges, mabye a recent one, and one when she was around ten. "gotten her first pokemon, a horsea." How in the world did she get a horsea? Did she get it from her unknown parents?

    ~Princess of Johto~ said:
    Personality: Paige is a very cheerful person. She's almost always happy, and almost nothing gets her depressed. She has many flaws to her personality, but her most notable is her over confidence. Because of her near death accidents, she believes that she is untouchable, which often irritates others.
    Click to expand...
    "and almost nothing gets her depressed." What is it that get's her depressed then. And why is she always happy? "Many flaws to her personality," What flaws, be sure to tell about them. Also tell about some of the good things about her personality.
    ~Princess of Johto~ said:
    Appearance: Paige has semi-long hair, that is a brownish-red color. She wears a blue hair band to keep it all out of her eyes. She has light blue eyes. She wears a purple leather jacket, with a bright yellow t-shirt underneath. Her blue jeans are tucked into her brown boots (She is always wearing these boots, she loves them). She is also always wearing a necklace with a heart pendant on it, that she got from her mother.

    Paige is 5 feet, and 1 inch tall. She weighs about 92 lbs. Her skin is kind of tanned, but more on the white side. That's the gist of Paige's appearance.
    Click to expand...
    What is semi-long hair. Is that to Paige's shoulder, to her ear. Be specific.
    ~Princess of Johto~ said:
    Pokemon: Horsea (Female) named Shelly. Shelly is very attached to Paige, and is also very much like her. They both have the same cheerful personality and the same over confidence.
    Click to expand...
    More detail on Shelly. Why is that her nickname. Did they always like each other. What's her move set. Keep it acording to leval.

    Remember these are all suggestions.
     

    Lostworld

    cosmic castaway
    217
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • Your RP sounds like it'll have a good plot guys. =]

    EDIT! Purplicious Pop Tarts!

    Name: Juno Keith.

    Age: Fifteen.

    Gender: Female.

    Appearance: Juno would be described as your typical bookworm in apperance. From spending so much time indoors, she has no colour on her skin whatsoever. Her copper coloured hair contrasts awkwardly with her overall apperance. Her hair, being naturally straight and Juno believing she can do nothing with it, is either left out or tied in a pony tail. She has a side fringe that just reaches over the top of her left eyelid. Juno has no obvious peculiarities for facial features besides the odd dark brown freckle. These appear mostly around her nose. They also appear on her arms. Juno is not at all a tall person and she knows it. She is of medium build, tending towards petite.

    Her wardrobe consists of t-shirts, pleated skirts, lemon coloured scarfs and ripped-at-the-knee jeans. She also wears dark denim overalls that cut off above her knees. She finds comfort in wearing trainers, white and blue in colour.

    Personality: Juno is a quiet young girl, prefering to spend her time reading a good adventure novel or attempting to write her own. Her quiet persona has led her to not making many friends. She's afraid of the dark, though she won't admit it.

    Oddly enough, Juno's reactions in hostile or hectic situations are calm and collected. She's a thinker and a day dreamer by nature. She prefers a laidback attitude towards events and is never sure about the descisions she makes.

    Juno thinks and reacts on an intellectual level, not understanding or 'in tune', so to speak, with her heart and her feelings. During the few battles she's been able to experience, her logic and strategy has won over every time. She's not too sure of this way of thinking, though it seems to be the only thing she knows. Despite her tending towards logical thinking, Juno's able to understand and love novels, especially fiction. Books are her escape away from the logical, ordered lifestyle she leads.

    The ordered style of her life is enforced by her mother's habits. As a result, Juno keeps her bedroom and her belongings in perfect order. She has various notebooks and one will never find a spare scrap of paper anywhere near her. She prefers to make lists and keep a record of everything she intends to do. Despite being part of the cliched role of neat freak, she does not like to set personal goals, thinking that task to be a waste of time.

    History: Juno Keith hails from the large city of Celadon in the Kanto region. The young girl has lived there all her life, only occasionally venturing out of the city to visit her extended family who live on Cinnabar Island.

    Juno lived the fairly normal life of going to school, doing chores and being a nearly average teenager up until the day her parents decided she needed something more. Something that would open their daughter's eyes to the reality of life, Juno's mind locked away within the so called 'fairytales' of the novels she was always reading.

    It was true, Juno did always half believe in the stories she read, of warriors who defended the old kingdom with legendary Pokemon by their side or trainers slashing their way through the league with one Pokemon by their side. Never though did Juno believe that she would ever lay eyes upon her very own Pokemon or hold tightly in her hand her Pokemon's shiny red and white Pokeball as they battled together.

    Juno's parents bought her a Pokemon, hoping that it would get her outside and enable her some freedom away from her sheltered life. They hoped it would give her some life experience, being with a Pokemon. Juno was both surprised and delighted by the present as any thirteen year old would be. Juno was even more surprised to find that she loved spending time outdoors with the Vulpix she nicknamed Flare.

    On a side note, Juno's mother is a secretary for a large company based in Celadon who design and make clothes especially for trainers and Juno's father is a banker. He does tend to travel around the region a lot, not having secure job in Celadon City, resulting in Juno only occassionally being able to spend time with her father. Both her parents are obsessed with cleanliness and order, which is why Juno is too.

    Chosen Region: Kanto

    Pokemon
    Name: Flare
    Species: Vulpix
    Info: Flare was bought for Juno from a local breeder whilst she was still a young pup. Flare, only having minimal battle experience with Juno, isn't the greatest battler on the planet.
    She has adopted some of her partner's habits, prefering to sleep whilst Juno reads her novels. Flare does manage to persuade Juno to leave the house more than often though as she likes to roam around the route outside of the city.
    Flare is a little obnoxious and to proud to admit she'd wrong sometimes but she does have a kind personality with Juno's best intentions at heart.
    After being together for many years, Flare has vowed to protect Juno as best she can which is why Flare pushes for Juno to participte in battles more often. She needs experience, something Flare cannot get on her own.
    Moveset: Tackle, Tail Whip, Quick Attack, Ember
     
    Last edited:

    Daftendirekt

    9
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • Seen Jun 27, 2010
    Name: Fet Hardiman
    Age: 14
    Gender: Male
    History: Fet grew up in the high, secluded peaks of Mt. Coronet. He had no friends his own age; his house was totally alone. The only creatures he had for company were his Parents and his first Pokemon, recieved at the age of 6, Shinx. Fet quickly warmed up to Shinx, considering the Pokemon was Playful and Childish, they had alot in common for two different animals. At the age of 10, Fet would explore the Mountains with Shinx, discovering many rare artefacts and strange People on his travels.
    At the Age of 12, Fet was caught in a terrible accident. A huge avalanche on the Mountain caused a painful injury on Fet, trapping him under the Snow. He slowly digged his way to a Cave, where he stayed safe. Whilst in this feeble shelter, he saw the vague image of a Man who called himself 'Only Veteran.' He quickly sprang to get to the Figure, but a bright light engulfed him. The light faded and he regained consciousness on the oor step of his own house. To this day, no one knows what happened.
    Personality: Fet appears to be Mysterious and Edgy at first. If he was to walk through a busy street or pass closely to a stranger, he wouldn't greet himself or even show his face. He would just blend into the crowd and act non-chalont. To his Pokemon, he is kind and generous, often putting them before himself. He trains them fairly, and sometimes harshly, but would never exhaust them on purpose. He is pumped and full of energy in battle, determined and enthusiastic to passionatley beat and opponent that may face him.
    Not many people know that if you get close to Fet, his happy, bubbly personallity is shown. He is gleeful and appreciative to his surroundings, spilling out his mind to the person he feels closest to, sometimes to the point of rambling and ranting.
    Appearance: As mentioned before, Fet originates from the arctic conditions of Mt. Coronet, giving him pale, blemishless skin. He has short, thick hair, yet his white fringe hangs over his crystal bue eyes. He has a thin face and nose, but there is something about him which gives a hint of childish serenity, perhaps his occasionally rosey cheeks. He is quite skinny and tall for his age, standing at a height of 5"11. This lack of fat introduces his small muscels that ripple through out his body.
    Usually, he would wear a brown blazer-like jacket that hung hard on his shoulders. There would be a green, stripy scarf around his neck and he would be wearing a tight, black top. He would wear tight, black jeans and black boots that look a tangled mess of laces.
    Chosen Region: Sinnoh

    Pokemon:
    Name and species: Shinx
    Attacks: Tackle, Leer, Charge, Bite (Level 13)
    Personality: Shinx is a fun-loving enthusiatic Pokemon. It would happily play in the snow or grass and be content all day long. Unfortunatley, it's loudness and excitemnt can often give its location away. Fet believes that, as Shinx becomes more Mature, its Personality will do so aswell.


    This SU is sampled from another Role Play, if that's okay. My own SU, of course, just from an old RP.
    Also, Purplicious Pop Tarts.
     
    Last edited:

    eveelution

    RolePlay Minion
    282
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • Daftendirekt: Please read through the first post again. You will find that your first pokemon's type is specified by the chosen region.
     

    ~Princess of Johto~

    Crystal > Lyra
    31
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • eveelution said:
    "Paige was born into a normal family, really." How was Paige's family normal, what did they do for a living. "many other challenges, but those..." No, no, no! Describe at least two of those challenges, mabye a recent one, and one when she was around ten. "gotten her first pokemon, a horsea." How in the world did she get a horsea? Did she get it from her unknown parents?


    "and almost nothing gets her depressed." What is it that get's her depressed then. And why is she always happy? "Many flaws to her personality," What flaws, be sure to tell about them. Also tell about some of the good things about her personality.

    What is semi-long hair. Is that to Paige's shoulder, to her ear. Be specific.

    More detail on Shelly. Why is that her nickname. Did they always like each other. What's her move set. Keep it acording to leval.

    Remember these are all suggestions.
    Click to expand...

    Ok, thanks for the suggestions, and thanks for being honest! I know some people that are too nice to criticize others. Should I edit my SU, or not? Oh yeah, I forgot to write this: Purplicious Pop Tarts!
     

    PsychoJigglypuff

    Crazy and Loving It!
    640
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • Name: Elena Claire Kenshaw

    Age: 15

    Gender: Female

    Personality: Elena is a hardy, determined girl, who is filled with energy. She can be loud and boisterous at times, but she is also a very good listener. She is an independent girl, who can take care of herself. Even so, she still cares deeply for her family and Pokemon.

    She has several faults, however. Her determination can lead her into trouble and making unwise and rash decisions. Occasionally, she can come off as boastful and annoying when she talks, even though it wasn't her intention. She also has trouble getting along with people her own age, usually preferring the very young or elderly. However, if you gain her trust, she will be a loyal friend.

    Appearance: Elena has short, chestnut brown hair that reaches her shoulders. Her hair is parted to the side, and is often pulled back into a short ponytail. Her eyes are a bright, forest green, and she has eyebrows that are larger than average. She is relatively tall in stature, and has a tan from being outside a lot. She is fit, yet she still has trouble running distances.

    Her clothing style is casual, and comfortable. She wears a black tanktop, with denim pants that end mid-calf, and white tennis shoes, that have turned a dull gray color after much use. She also carries around a red jacket that she wears when it gets cold. She doesn't wear any jewelry except for a simple necklace with a silver pendant.

    History: Elena is an only child in a family of three. She came from a family that wasn't poor, but had occasional trouble paying the bills. Her parents runs a small restaurant in Gateon Port, the Shelder Shack. They also own a small, yet reliable, fishing boat, that they use to catch most of their food. However, when Elena went with her father to help him fish, there would often be storms that would appear, even if the weather seemed clear before they went out. Occasionally, they were very severe, and she almost drowned at age twelve when the boat tipped over on her. Somehow, she managed to hoist herself out from underneath the ship, along with the help of a passing school of Magikarp that were fleeing for safety. Her parents would always fuss about how it was dangerous and she shouldn't go anymore, but she insisted that she would continue to help her father fish, because she wanted to contribute to the family business.

    One year ago, an old man came to the restaurant. He noticed Elena's enthusiasm and determination while she was working, and he was reminded of his youth. He began to tell tales of when he was young and in his prime, of when he was a Pokemon trainer who was determined to be a master. He never managed to achieve his dream, yet he had no regrets. His time spent with his Pokemon was a wonderful experience. Elena listened to his stories intensely, fascinated by the tales of adventure that she secretly longed for. The man, who called himself Archer, felt happy and rejuvenated after talking with her, since he had no children or grandchildren of his own. He offered to give her one of his Pokemon that he caught during his travels. She initially refused, but eventually gave in to her own will, and received a Gligar, who she named Swift.

    Once she obtained him, she became very excited. She wanted to become a great trainer and go on adventures that she had secretly dreamed of. However, she still wanted to stay and help out her parents as well, but they kept encouraging to achieve her dreams, and that they would be fine. She promised them that she would send them most of her money that she won from battles, even though her parents insisted that it wasn't necessary.

    Chosen Region: Orre

    Pokemon: A male Gligar named Swift. He was given this nickname because at the time, Elena was impressed by his speed and thought that he was the fastest thing she had ever seen.

    Personality: Swift is a very jolly Gligar, who tends to be a bit mischievous and boastful at times. He didn't always get along with Elena, since he used to belong to Archer, but after they trained together for a while, he began to trust her and they got along much better.

    Moveset: Poison Sting, Sand Attack, Harden.

    Sample: Elena grinned widely, giddy with excitement. After hearing Arches stories, she definitely was pumped to be going on an adventure of her own. After parting with her parents, she walked towards the exit to Gateon Port. After a short while, however, the road ended. There was no route or trail signaling where to go, there was just a sign pointing off into the distance. Confused, she examined the sign. It was rather vague and the letters were faded but she could read the name of one town. "Agate Village." She recognized the name from Archer's stories. It was were many trainers go to retire, and many still like to battle. "Alright, I'll go to Agate then!" She happily marched eastward, in the vague direction the sign was pointed towards.

    After a couple hours of walking, Elena came to a realization. She was lost. Agate Village was in a forested area, and she had been walking through the desert for a while now. Also, there weren't any trainers around that she could ask for directions or fight. There weren't any Pokemon either. "There's no signs of life in this wasteland..." She sighed, exhausted from all of the walking. This isn't what Archer had described. Then again, he was from Johto, not from Orre.

    Suddenly, she heard a noise. Her head perked up. "Could it be?" She asked hopefully. Her eyes scanned the desert and she saw an oaisis up ahead. Inside the oasis, was a small Pokemon eating some food. "Yes!" She shouted with glee as she neared the Pokemon, which was a Hoppip. "Go Swift!" She threw the Poke ball, and the Gligar emerged. "Gar!" He cried out happily. The Hoppip looked up at them, startled.

    "Alright, my first Pokemon battle." Elena thought. "What moves did Archer say Swift knows again?" While she was pondering, the Hoppip began to attack. It tackled Swift, who was still waiting for an order. "Uh, wait, Swift use Poison Sting!"

    "Gligar!" He swooped down and jabbed the Hoppip with his stinger. The Hoppip cringed as it was attacked. The attack seemed to do a decent amount of damage.

    "Good job, Swift!" She called. "Now, use Sand Attack!" Instead of using Sand Attack, he didn't respond, and the Hoppip attacked him again. "I said, Sand Attack!" She shouted louder, thinking he hadn't heard her. However, he still didn't use the move, and hardened instead, while the Hoppip continued to Tackle him.

    Elena grew frustrated. "Why aren't you listening to me?" She tried remembering what Archer had told her. "Since I just got him, he won't obey me until he gets used to me, and I earn his respect." She thought. "We need to win this fight." She clenched her hands into fists and looked at the two Pokemon. "Swift, use Poison Sting!"

    "Gligar!" Swift obeyed and used his stinger to attack the Hoppip. The Hoppip fell back in pain. It looked weak, and it's health seemed to be draining away.

    "Great! Now finish him off!" She pumped her fist in the air out of excitement. "Another Poison sting should do the job!"

    He seemed to nod in agreement and swooped down to deliver the finishing blow. The Hoppip cried out, then fainted on the ground, out of health.

    "Alright!" Both Elena and Swift seemed to jump up in excitement. "Now, we should go and find a-" She stopped in realization. "...We're still lost."

    That should be everything. Also, Purplicious Pop Tarts.
     
    Last edited:

    Daftendirekt

    9
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • Seen Jun 27, 2010
    I've edited my SU :D
    Everything should be appropriate now, and sorry for any inconvienience. (:
     

    eveelution

    RolePlay Minion
    282
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • Also, I want to make this clear. Shiny pokemon are something that you character will not know exist. All pokemon you battle will be normal colored, though if both perfectmonster and I believe the post you used to catch the pokemon is exceptional I may allow it to be shiny. Though you will only find a shiny pokemon once in your character's lifetime.

    Also, I forgot to mention this, the highest leval your pokemon can be is leval ten, and the lowest is leval five. Adjust move sets accordingly. (How do you spell accordingly?) You don't have to actually acknowledge pokemon levals, but still keep the move sets accordingly.

    Last, but not least; You can have your pokemon gesture and bark/growl/purr, and have your character guess at what your pokemon is trying to say, but your character can not actually understand "poke-language."

    ~Princess of Johto~: Your welcome. I like to be honest not only because it helps show how people take criticism and whether they are willing to work for a position, but also because it shows people what they truly need to work on.

    Everyone else:​
    Constructive Criticism Suggestion!
    Coming soon in a post near you!​

    P.S. Sorry, I couldn't resist being that cheesy.​

    ------------------------- ----------- ---------------------------------------------- ----- -----------------------------

    Breezy:
    Spoiler:

    Beautiful SU. It was actually pretty hard to find any serious mistakes. Most of what I commented on was simply personal preferance.

    Daftendirekt:
    Spoiler:

    Daftendirekt, make sure to work on only capitalizing proper names and the beginning of a sentence.

    PsychoJigglypuff:
    Spoiler:

    Nice SU. Would you mind if I asked for you to make a little something about you leaving home, and traveling along some route? Just so I can get a handle on your writing style. Sorry to ask.

    --------

    Now on a side note, I will be officialy accepting/declining SUs! I may postpone judging, if I feel like we need some more SUs/competition.
     
    Last edited:

    Daftendirekt

    9
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • Seen Jun 27, 2010
    Woah... I really need to start reading over my posts more often. Thanks for taking time to assess that, though - It is much appreciated.

    So, do we now have to edit our orginal SUs again, or is your edit enough?
     

    eveelution

    RolePlay Minion
    282
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • Daftendirekt: Actually I'd prefer if you edit it based on my suggestions, for I will judge the most recent SU posted by you regardless of my suggestions.
     

    PsychoJigglypuff

    Crazy and Loving It!
    640
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • Nice SU. Would you mind if I asked for you to make a little something about you leaving home, and traveling along some route? Just so I can get a handle on your writing style. Sorry to ask.
    Click to expand...

    It's fine. Do you mean as a separate piece, like a roleplay example, or part of the history?

    I'll also adjust my SU now. By the way, capris are pants that end around mid-calf.
     

    eveelution

    RolePlay Minion
    282
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • PsychoJigglypuff: Thanks, but I meant like a roleplay sample. Sorry, but I really didn't get your writing style from your SU. Sorry for any complications.
     
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