"Escapism"

[Eternal Games]

Stick the knife into me slowly
Let me feel what you unravel
Tattoo your pain up and down my side
Etch your purpose into my chest
Lapse in and out of consciousness
While you blow the world upside down
And the stars will decorate us as they fall
Up from the heavens
Down into the seas
Where the waves crush us without question
As we cower beneath
We can only beg
But succumb to the awesome power of mother earth
We fall back into her womb
Arriving at the start
To begin the process anew

 

[ShadowLeader]

I really like this poem....but there are a few issues. Like no punctuation. Basically the poem right now just looks like it needs to be read in one breath. Now if you want it that way then leave it, but i think it sounds better when you have a few pauses.
Also, it is a bit confusing, but then again poetry is for the poet, and everyone finds their own meaning, so that is not really an issue (imo).
But great poem i really like it and i hope that you keep writing!

 

[Vie]

I like what it is about and what words you used. there are some pretty good metaphors and personifications. (thats one hell of a word) I just miss a bit of a pattern. no rhyme schemes or something like that. maybe you could write another verse, I would like to know what it would be about. but you did a good job, is this the first poem you wrote?
keep it up! d( ' ' )z