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Happy birthday, frosty. Are you ever going to review chapter five? :p
 
whoever becomes my author will naturally be given access to my previous chapters.
 
A bit late, but I celebrated earlier...

*throws balloons in the air* WOOT! Happy birthday!

(It's funny, Lily, Frosty, and I all have November birthdays, and we all are directly linked to fiction. Must be a trait Scorpio brings...)
 
Fanfiction Lounge; We all use it, handy, freviews...etc etc so we need that one.

Christmas Pokemon Fanfiction Contest; Only until December 20th I believe.

Who Shot Brendan Birch?; It deffers with every new FF of the week story we get.

Read First- Basic Pokemon Fanfiction Writing FAQ; Self explanatory

Halloween Chain Story '04; o_O Ooooookay better put that one down...

Fanficton of the Week (info and listings); just a way to keep track of the FF of the week...plus any questions there may have been.

The reviewer's guild; Requested to be sticked and closed, just for the reviewer listings I suppose(?)

Pokemon fanfiction rules and regulations; Also self explanatory.
 
well the reviewer's guild can be taken down too IMHO... seeing that I'm still the only one reviewing x_x; Well at least now we also got DP but really no need a whole locked sticky for it o.o;

(and btw, I'm still busy from work at all... reviews should starting coming in tomorrow night after I get back from working on a biology project at a friend's house)
 
thanks

I sent a PM to Mr. Cat Dog ages ago and forgot all about it after regularly checking my inbox for ages...

(whoops I have to review properly now ;))
 
Err... I just forgot about it. I was going to PM Lily to remove it, but I just forgot basically. And when I remembered, it was 5 minutes ago XD Feel free to take it down. I would do it myself, but... I can't. And happy b'day again frosty. ^_^
 
muhahahahahaha NOVEMBER pwns for writers! It's the month that inspires me! w00t!maybe that has to do with the fact I was born in November... :) Scorpio rules.

I've written a really depressed song about... yes no duh heartbreak... which is strange as I ain't ever had a boyfriend to even get heartbroken with... so it's more about depression AND heartbreak...

that's an update from the spokesperson of DPFF Inc.
 
@ Guilty by Design (ch. 2)

-lol... lactic acid... such a small thing certainly adds the realism to this fanfic

-purple + Champ = such a lovely usage of diction... have to like it. Perhaps a foreshadow!

-... and the 2nd time within fanfic forum of PC did I have absolutely NOTHING to complain about O.o; Really couldn't pick up any mistakes at all. The most I can say is probably very small grammatic errors, like how a comma will be "better" but right now it's fine too...

-hmm... maybe one weird thing that's worth saying. How come Fae started out as someone who keeps her distance away from her, and then in the middle of the conversation, she allowed him to snuggle up against her? Maybe it's "pity" but just a weird in the change...

-heavy usage of supports and suggestive imagery (too many to list them out here really and there's too many fanfics in queue for review XD!), slowly building up to what I expect to be a major theme within the story that should be revealed soon enough... much better than chapter 1 in my opinion. Story is well paced, and very easy to follow along.

Grammar Basics: 10/10
Plot/Character Basics: 18/20
Coherence/Readability: 10/10
Tone/Diction: 18/20
Writing Skills: 18/20
Effort/Originality: 19/20
Lit. Device bonus: + 2 (irony)

Total: 95
*note: 2nd 90+ fanfic!

(note to readers of this fanfic: it is encouraged that you really try to picture the perfectly build mood by the fanfic, and definitely, re-read it at least one more time to get everything)
 
O_O

Holy freck. *rubs eyes* HOLY FRECK. This is, like, getting the nobel peace prize. Now it makes me feel worse about not making a new chapter in half a year. I hope this will give me the drive to continue (currently I have 6 completed chapters). I have to reread the part about Fae though and check that out. But once again, I AM VERY HAPPY. Thanks, Frostweaver.
 
@ Legendary Revenge

-cliche titles... >_<; hmm... really have to watch out for the title

-some of the detail actually turns out to be unnecessary... as they take away from the main theme by making the trainer look a bit better than he should look

-it's ok to be biased for your own personal favorite Pokemon, but even favoritism needs a small amount of realism to it... Scyther can win against Entei if you choose so, but at least make it "rather difficult and a close call," etc, stuff like that... right now it sounds like "Well this Entei thing put up a decent match against my Scyther, even though Scyther is a bug and he's a legendary fire Pokemon."

-now there are hardly any mistakes except some funny choice of wording (which isn't really a mistake... perhaps you intended it to be so), but there's just something missing... At first the plot seems to be ok. Some trainer captures Suicune, so her brothers try to save her, and Entei dies in the process, and only Raikou succeeds in doing so. However, just... something is missing. I guess... it's the emotions? The trainer just caught Suicune without much emotions attached to it... The "scary" description about Raikou wasn't very persuasive... (however, this lack of emotion for the trainer killing Entei "because he has no choice" actually benefits, as it adds on to the anatonistic feeling to the trainer). The tone... just sounds rather plain, unlike what chapter 2 of Guilty by Design is able to do. The characters within Iveechan's fic is very lively, real and vivid, as if they're real. The Pokemon and the trainer here are just... there because they're there. They're just characters of a fanfic, and nothing more. It's just... not there...

-I won't say that the idea is very original, as the manga is suggesting similiar types of stuff, and I've read another fanfic that involves the legendary beasts going on a quest of revenge for one another, but still this idea is very uncommon for a fanfic

-oh and btw Breezy, I won't call the "Ho-oh" thing a theme, but just part of the plot... not a theme

Grammar Basics: 10/10
Plot/Character Basics: 15/20
Coherence/Readability: 10/10
Tone/Diction: 15/20
Writing Skills: 16/20
Effort/Originality: 18/20
Lit. Device bonus: +0

Total: 84
 
lol this has absolutely nothing to do with fan fictions but it's my birthday on Thursday... not meaning to spam but just so ya all know it's not like anyone really would remember...
 
later dayz to ya too and thanx

I'm busy writing a Hoennshipping (roll your eyes, DP is a proud Hoennshipper) one-shot now. Thanks to Breezy for writing HLBMA and LilyPichu for writing A Light Kiss, they inspired me.
 
@ A Light Kiss

-lol... I'll say that it's humor XD very well done on the humor, as it relies on a true sense of mature humor, not like some other crappy fanfics that is just laughing at pure stupidity...

-Kasumi is indeed a bit OOC, but not too much... The violence is certainly exaggerated but I didn't feel that it was OOC. It's the explicit feeling part that makes her so OOC. In the anime, she always act all shy and romantic when talking about love like a stereotypical girl (or tries to). The only complaint I got as well...

-Satoshi was completely humourous and acting so consistent to the anime XD *ROFL* dumb and oblivious to his surrounding, and he certainly does yawn then scratch his black hair quite a bit in the anime too, does he...

-major grammar improvement compare to all of your other stories! I can't find any... or maybe I missed them as well, but if we can't find it, it's probably not there... we can safely assume that, hmm?

-now about Dark Pikachu's comment, oneshot is just a non-poetic fanfic that has only one update (hence, one shot). Short story IS an oneshot XD; As for Breezy's comments, I didn't find it choppy personally... mind to explain where it is choppy exactly?

-another Lily production with a hidden theme away from the humourous appearance! We all love God vs Devil stories ^_^

-Despite the humourous, original plot outline that's carried out very well by Kasumi and Satoshi, this oneshot succeeds in carrying out its much more serious theme underneath. It is enjoyable at first glance, and very engaging in thoughts the next time it's being read. A top quality fanfic where Frostweaver had to find excuses for places to take off marks from, just to stop it from reaching 100%.

-to Lily: certainly along the ranks of Reflection and Forgiving Tears, but what makes this fanfic earn an even better rating than the others is how humor and the most serious theme on the planet, of God vs Devil/Good vs Evil can be combined with humour so well... that is simply legendary.

Grammar Basics: 10/10
Plot/Character Basics: 18/20
Coherence/Readability: 10/10
Tone/Diction: 18/20
Writing Skills: 19/20
Effort/Originality: 19/20
Lit. Device bonus: +3 (irony, symbolism, motif)

Total: 97
*note: 3rd 90+ fanfic!
**note: highest mark in PC history!

Early B-Day bonus: +4
New Total: 101 XD *rofl lol*

(note to all readers: again, like all good fanfics, it is necessary to re-read the story, and concentrate not on Satoshi/Kasumi the 2nd time when you're re-reading, but just keep looking out for the chair and the lightbulb... those two play as 2 important symbols in the story, and you'll be missing out a terrifying lots if you just don't pay any attention to these two rather "unimportant-looking" objects within the story)
 
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...*falls over laughing* XD!!!

Yes, maybe I *did* make Kasumi a bit OOC...but it fit perfectly in my opinion with the theme. And I really loathe it when stories use Kasumi as..as a marshmellow (literally) and Ash as this perfectly charming guy who can win everyone's heart...even as of few years later! Er, the original Misty x Ash is so much better. XD (And whatever happened to -3736528/10, hm?)

No grammar problems? o.O; No way...Wait, there was one spelling error Breezy mentioned before. 'Cascading orange AIR.' And I fixed it to hair before anyone can notice...Thanks Breezy! XD Unfortunately, MS word doesn't detect unusual strings of words...

God vs Devil/Good vs Evil is always humorous when used in a certain matter...^_^ And, yay! Finally, a third one shot matching up to Forgiving Tears & Reflections. it's ironic, how the fics I never expect to be good...turns out great. (97...omg) and the fics I consider decent...turns out somewhat bad. >_>;

Ty for the review, frosty! A birthday bonus? lol..XD It isn't until my current age's amount of days anyway...
 
Hmm, you know, I think I posted some info from the other story I was reading into Lily's re-review here. And me being stupid didn't realize that I was at two forums -_-; Fwee, what fun. Anyways, I'll edit it. Sorry heh. ^^;
 
97... would that be the highest Frosty's review EVER?

Wow. Lily's made a few records with one fic. 1. My first, and mayhaps last, short and un-picky proper review. 2. One of, or maybe the, highest score ever from Frosty.

oh ok lol I thought one-shot was long... because it certainly was short. *gets back to her own amazingly long one-shot. It would be a chappy fic, but I don't need three chappy fics on my hands and it's designed as a one-shot. You guys will just have to put up with too much description - two paragraph omg how did I manage that? -_- something's happened to my brain o.O - about how Brendan loves May's new outfit, etc. - the description is actually about May's changes o.O) when you read it. Nyah nyah :P

will I get a birthday bonus lol? It's my bday in 2 days... :P keep checking the spoiler tag in my sig.
 
@ Hex

-now psychology lesson: a computer typed text is a lot easier to read if it's a font that's commonly accepted by the eye, such as arial and times new roman. The default PC font works well too, even though it doesn't have the special property of a little "tick" near the top and bottom of a word that Arial and Times new roman share.

-the first paragraph is slightly confusing regarding the glass and X Rars

-some strange diction O.o; we're in a rather gloomy situation, and now we suddenly have a smilie with ice cream sundae and wafers? O.o;

-some of the support/explanation are quite weak... especially the Capital Radio explanation.

-quite a nice twist at the end... original ^^ The prologue gives a mysterious feeling overall, but there's still a lack of tension to let the readers read on. Expanding/fixing the diction on M and Kwei-Kwei's conversation should do the trick. A possible usage of literary device can also strength tension which is needed for the prologue to be effective.

Grammar Basics: 8/10
Plot/Character Basics: omit/20
Coherence/Readability: 8/10
Tone/Diction: 14/20
Writing Skills: 14/20
Effort/Originality: 18/20
Lit. Device bonus: +0

Total: 62/80 => 78/100
 
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