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[Pokémon] Fine Lines

darkcowboy

Gibbs is EVERYWHERE!
134
Posts
16
Years
  • Hi! This is my first fic in awhile so bare with me. Lol. I hope y'all like. My fic is about a kid who's done the wrong thing for all the right reasons. You'll find out more about that later on in the fic. Right now read on and be amazed. I'll try to keep links in this post as reference to the chapters, but I admit I'm not very tidy about such things. So read and review please. =3

    EDIT: If an admin runs across this, could they rename it so it reads "Fine Lines [PG 13+]". I forgot that there is coarse language and use of a shovel as a club. =D​




     
    Last edited:

    darkcowboy

    Gibbs is EVERYWHERE!
    134
    Posts
    16
    Years

  • Chapter 1 – Destined to be Nothing
    "As a child I was told, I was destined to be nothing. Growing wild as I got older I fulfilled what had been said. Hiding ignorance and fear, I prayed nobody saw me bluffing, but I was laying the foundation for a future I would dread."



    The wind kicked up a flurry of sand across the desert, off in the distance. The sand looked like it stretched on for miles in every direction. It was the perfect place to hide from the law. That is until someone gave up its location to the police.


    A young boy wearing a tan cowboy hat, in his late teens sat propped up against a rock, his hands tied behind him. He was as unconscious as one could be in such an uncomfortable position with fourteen angry men surrounding him. He was the youngest of the group of former Team Rocket grunts sure, but to him, that didn't automatically mean that he was the one who told the law where they were hiding.

    He would regain consciousness every so often, just long enough to hear them talk about how they wanted to kill him. If only he knew where his belt was. The belt was where all of his pokeballs were, not to mention the fact that his spring-blade pocket knife was clipped to it. He could have cut himself loose two days ago and made a run for Mauville. But then, that's why they took the belt.


    "Well Travis, any last words? Like maybe what you told the police? I promise I can end this real fast and painless if you'll just tell me somethin'," The leader said. He was a big man with a haggard face and a bald head which glared in the sun when he took his cap off.


    The boy looked up, his face gaunt and pale. His gray eyes had not lost any of their defiance as he eyed the man from beneath his wore out cap. "Go to hell, McCreadie. Don't you think if I'd told the law anything they would have been here four days ago with arrest warrants and the like? I'm no rat."


    McCreadie rubbed his chin as he knelt in front of the boy. "Y'know, I never did like you, kid. The boss always seemed to favor you over the rest of our outfit. Too bad he can't see what a sniveling turncoat you've become." He motioned to a taller man, who stood about six foot-one, "Will, make sure those ropes are tight back there. I don't want him pulling a Houdini again.


    Shaking his head, Will pointed at the boy, "I think he's telling the truth, McCreadie. The cops would have been here days ago if he'd spilled his guts."


    There was a long silence as the giant of a man took in this insubordination. Turning to face Will, McCreadie smiled slightly. "If I didn't know any better, I would've thought you were goin' soft on the boy."


    Will stepped forward, jabbing his finger hard into McCreadie's chest, "It wasn't me who threw him off the forty-second floor of the Silph Co. Building when it was falling down around our ears now was it? Nor was it me who left him standing there holding the bag when that kid showed up in Mt. Moon and tore us all to shreds!"


    "And you've done a wonderful job of reminding us of that, but I think if you would have not gotten involved and just let 'em go splat, we wouldn't be running for our lives from the law, the second biggest private security force in the world, and the damn Johto Trading Corporation!" He kicked the boy's foot hard as he said this. "Now tighten those ropes like I said!"


    Will glared at McCreadie's back as he walked back to the lair to decide how to dispose of the "traitor". He reached behind the boy and tightened the ropes just a little bit more, but not before slipping something into his hands. "Jake, once you get loose I want you to get going towards Mauville. Tell the police where we are and send them here."


    Feeling the object with his fingers, Jake realized he was holding his spring-blade pocket knife. "I'm not leaving without my Pokemon," he said hoarsely.


    "Already taken care of; you'll find your belt 30 paces east of the rock that we decided looks like Old Man Morgan before he's had his coffee," Will whispered.


    Jake knew exactly what he was talking about. Before Team Rocket's disbandment, three years before, they had been in Veridian City where they watched an old man named Mitchell Morgan chase a ten year-old down the street with a cane due to a lack of coffee, (or that's what he told the police when he was asked about it). The rock on the other hand looked nothing like Old Man Morgan, but they had thought of him, after Jake's comment that it looked like an old man throwing his false teeth.


    There was another long silence as McCreadie made his way back to the two, with his cronies following close behind. "Don't do anything until tonight, while they're all sleeping," Were the last words out of Will's mouth, before McCreadie was within listening range.

    Will mouthed the word "sorry" before punching Jake square across the jaw.

    Seeing this, McCreadie grinned. "Come over to my side have ya?"


    Will shook his hand as if slinging water from it. "He just told me, what he told the cops."

    "Good, tell me and then we can kill him and find a new hideout," McCreadie said, his grin growing wider.

    "Not now. I wanna wait til tomorrow at dawn. I want him to have all day to suffer," Will growled, as Jake forced himself not to laugh out loud. Will had been part of a group of stage performers before he joined Team Rocket seven years ago, but it didn't take a professional actor to get the drop on a fool like McCreadie.

    The big man turned and called to everyone, "Let's go inside and eat gents. Tomorrow Travis will pay for this betrayal."

    Jake's stomach rumbled at the mention of food. With a quick second of thinking, he looked up at the back of McCreadie. "Isn't it customary for a condemned man to have his last request?"

    McCreadie stopped suddenly and whirled around on one foot. "And what is your last request young Mr. Travis," he asked, hooking his thumbs in his belt loops.

    "One last meal," Jake said hoarsely, but just loud enough for all of the men to hear.

    A crooked smile played across the man's chubby face as he nodded. "I suppose it's what I would want, were I in your position. Smithers, bring him out a plate of food when it's cooked, yes," he said motioning toward a thin raw-boned man with a scraggly beard and a rat-like face.

    Smithers nodded with a wicked grin. "I'll feed 'em up real good Boss." They all turned and started inside, a rumble of discontented murmurs and growls.

    When the last man of the blood thirsty bunch went inside, Jake started to work on his ropes flipping his pocket knife open; he stuck it deep in the sand and sawed at the ropes. His freedom of movement was quite limited, as the ropes only allowed centimeters of movement in any one direction. McCreadie made sure of this after Jake had escaped four hours after they tied him up on the first day.

    While working on the bonds, he took note of his surroundings. As Jake looked around, he noticed mining equipment and mine carts. Long rusty rails ran into the area where the men lived. This was an abandoned mine. What sort of mine was beyond him though. It could have been a diamond mine, or a coal mine. Gold had more of a tendency to show up near mountains and in mountain streams, but none of this really mattered to Jake at the moment.

    He continued to saw at the ropes that held his hands tightly together and only had to stop once as one of the men came outside to go out into the rocks. After a few minutes the man came back and went back inside.

    Ten minutes later, Smithers came outside with a tin plate with leftover mashed potatoes, beans, and a slice of cornbread. Setting the plate down on a rock just out of Jake's reach, he gave a toothy grin. "Bon apatite; better get to it before the ants do," He yelled back at Jake with a cackle.

    "Come back here so I can kick your ass," Jake growled angrily.

    Smithers turned back to face Jake. "What did you say?"

    "I think you heard what I said."

    "You're in no position to be making threats kid," Smithers hissed as he stepped forward. "And I'll letcha in on a little secret. It was me who told the police where we were. You'll take the fall, and I'll tell the police where we go again. When all of these guys are locked up, I'll be free to go back to the Sinnoh region and join up with a new gang that's just surfaced." He knelt next to Jake.

    "You really are a spiteful bastard aren't you? You could have just let me die without knowing all of that," Jake said with a grin.

    "It's in my nature I guess. My way of getting the last laugh," Smithers said, taking Jake's hat off his head.

    As he did so saw his opportunity. The ropes snapped loose as Jake tugged hard at the frayed area where he'd been cutting. His quick reflexes aided him as he took hold of his pocket knife and put it up to Smithers' throat. "Who's got the last laugh now?"

    Smithers swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "You do."


    "Good." Jake took his hat back and placed it back on his head. He stood up and turned to look down at the plate. Ants had already marched a single file line up to the plate and were making short work of the leftovers. Angrily, Jake kicked the plate away and turned back to face Smithers. He pointed to a random place in the dark. "What's that?"

    Smithers turned to look at the spot. "What's what," he asked. As he turned, Jake picked up a shovel that lay nearby. He swung it as hard as he could, connecting it with the side of Smithers head, sending him to the dirt in a heap. Smithers lay unconscious on the ground.

    Jake walked to the edge of the cave, staying out of sight of the men inside. Will's plan was to wait until they were all asleep, but Jake needed food and water, and he needed them now. He could hear them talking now.

    "What can we do about him??"

    "We could dump him in the desert somewhere. He's too weak to walk almost. He wouldn't last the day."

    Jake gripped the shovel tightly. Without a second thought, Jake stepped into the room, swinging the shovel at the closest man near him.

    McCreadie, who just happened to be the closest to the mine entrance as they ate, tumbled to the floor with a loud yelp of pain. He held his hand to the side of his head, and blood ran between his fingers as he sat up to see his attacker.

    Jake kicked him hard in the side and held out the pocket knife for all of the men to see, pointing it at them like a sword. "Back off!" He pointed to a man in the back, standing over the camp fire. "You! Dish up a plate of that food, and pour me a cup of water!"

    "You cracked my skull you little snot," McCreadie shouted, prompting Jake to put a boot to his stomach, and let the point of the shovel rest on McCreadie's chest.

    "Just sit there shut up. I don't have a lot of patience for any of you right now." He looked up at Will who was standing at the front with a bewildered look on his face. Pointing the pocket knife at him, he feigned a scowl. "You. Go get my pokeballs!"

    Will raised an eyebrow. "But they're out—"

    "I don't care, where they're at. Go get them," Jake yelled. Looking at another one of the others who stared silently, he pointed at one nearest him. "Go to my bunk, and get my stuff. There'd better be three thousand dollars in there, a set of dog-tags and a blanket."

    He got to it as the man from the back brought him a plate of food.

    Snatching it, Jake pushed the man over with the others. Leaning the shovel against the wall, he began to eat. Like a Mightyena, Jake kept an eye on the men as he ate his food. Without the shovel, he was completely defenseless. He hoped it was enough that he had McCreadie at his feet to deter them from making a move on him.

    Will returned with Jake's belt, and the two pokeballs attached to it. He'd apparently figured out Jake's game as he tossed the belt at his feet. "There's your damn pokeballs," He growled.

    Jake bent over and took the ball nearest the belt buckle. He pressed the button in the center and released the Pokémon inside. A blue lion-like Pokémon was released from the ball, who growled as the red light from the pokeball shimmered off of him.

    He'd been inside his pokeball for three days, which gave him every right to be mad. He looked over at Jake whose clothes were covered in dust. A trickle of blood ran down his chin from the corner of his mouth, where Will hit him earlier in the day, and Jake's wore out old hat was pulled down just low enough that his eyes were overshadowed by the brim. The Luxray got the full picture now, seeing McCreadie at Jake's feet and the other men around the room staring at them both now.

    "Rascal, good to see ya pal," said without taking his eyes off of the men around the room. He began to eat the rest of the food as Rascal took up a defensive stance between him and his enemies.

    A short growl resonated from deep in the Luxray's throat, signaling his intentions to the others. No one would get past him.

    As Jake finished off the rest of the food, he made sure to keep a wary eye on McCreadie as well as the other men. He was so close to freedom that he couldn't afford to make a mistake like letting McCreadie get the drop on him.

    Tossing the tin plate to the floor, he picked up the shovel again and inched toward the door, with Rascal moving in between him and the others. All of the men were accounted for accept for Smithers who lay outside unconscious. Jake was home free. He picked up his belt, slung it around his waist, and buckled it in one fluid motion. Taking the other pokeball off of the belt, he pressed the button which sent out another glow of shimmering red light.

    As the light dimmed, a small purple blob with beady eyes and a thin lipped mouth took form. It oozed it's way up Jake's leg and up to his right arm where it took its perch on his shoulder.

    "Now, get up," Jake said quietly to McCreadie, holding the blade of the shovel to the bigger man's throat.

    McCreadie did as he was told, and stood quietly and calmly.

    "Follow me," Jake said to him, motioning outside. "Rascal, keep these guys company for me," He called back to the Luxray as the two left the cave.

    Within three steps they were outside, where Jake led McCreadie to Smithers' unconscious form. Pointing the shovel at Smithers, he growled. "There's your damn mole. He said after you'd disposed of me and relocated, he was going to rat you out again and then run off and join up with Team Galactic in Sinnoh."

    "And why should I believe you? This could be just a ploy, to buy time until the police get here," McCreadie said with a slight grin.

    "Fine… kill me. And then after you've relocated and the cops show up on your door step again, you're going to wish you'd fed Smithers to the Trapinch instead of me," Jake said, shifting his weight so that he could throw the shovel at McCreadie if he had to.

    McCreadie waved off the thought dismissively. "Calm down kid, it was just a thought. Did Smithers tell you this himself?"

    "Yeah, just before I belted him with the shovel. To be honest, this whole time I thought it was you; using me as a scapegoat to throw blame from yourself," Jake said, settling himself down. Seeing that this disturbed McCreadie, he held up a hand. "Easy big guy, it was just a notion I had."

    McCreadie turned away from Smithers to face Jake. "Why are you telling me all of this? You could have easily just left us all at the mercy of the cops, considering it'll take more than your word to convince the other guys in there."

    Jake knew that would be a problem himself. None of the men in the lair liked him very much anyway (besides Will who saw Jake as a younger brother), and this would be a good enough excuse to get rid of him. "I was sent here three years ago to help catch a turncoat, who'd been turning a profit selling information to the cops. I did that, and now my mission is complete. As for the men in there, they can believe whatever the hell they want. All I want from you is three days worth of water for two people, and a head start."

    "Done. And in exchange I get to deal with Smithers anyway I please?"

    Jake grinned. "I don't give a damn if you boil him in Arbok venom."

    As they shook hands on the deal, McCreadie grabbed his arm. He pulled Jake close and slammed his fist into the boy's stomach. "One more thing," He said as Jake fell to the ground gasping for air, "if you ever bend a shovel over my head again, I'll bury you in a hole so deep, it'll take an excavation crew a month to find you. Understand?"

    Jake nodded as McCreadie gave him a hand up.

    As he went back into the lair, he found that the twelve other men were backed into a corner near the back with Rascal "keeping them company". Jake gave a short but loud whistle which gave the men a start. "Will, you're coming with me," Jake growled. "I need a hostage in case any of these guys decide to get wise with me."

    The others distanced themselves from Will, leaving him exposed to the Luxray's piercing stare. He stepped forward and stood next to Rascal while Jake collected the few meager belongings he had.

    It was fifteen minutes later that they found themselves walking across the sand, as the moon made its way across the sky. "Thanks for getting me outta there, kid," Will said looking over at Jake who'd been silent thus far.

    Jake stared straight ahead. "Thank you for making sure I didn't get killed. I owe you now." He felt the Ditto on his shoulder slide down to his forearm and wrap herself around it. She transformed into a red bandanna, and gripped his arm tightly.

    The two remained silent for the rest of the night as they did their best to put as much distance between themselves and the Team Rocket lair.
     
    Last edited:

    darkcowboy

    Gibbs is EVERYWHERE!
    134
    Posts
    16
    Years
  • I feel like the story's a bit rushed, and if it is I blame my beta reader 'cos she said it was okay the way I wrote it. =D Also, I need someone to help me figure out the forums. Whenever I post my fic it takes out my double spaces and bunches all the paragraphs up. I have to friggin' quadruple space just to get one double space to show up.
    Chapter 2 - "Six Months Later"

    The bank was peaceful that morning as eighteen year old Elektra Powers walked through the automatic doors and greeted the guard. Her Shedinja hovered along silently, looking all around. The cool conditioned air was crisp as she took a deep breath in preparation for her interview. She hoped she would get the internship based on her grades in school and not on her father's reputation.

    Being the daughter of a wealthy business man was one thing, but she felt like everything seemed to be handed to her, and she was right; for as far back as she could remember, she couldn't think of a time when she didn't get something she wanted.

    Now she would get what she wanted without her father's help.

    Lexi, as she was called by her friends, walked up to the desk nearest the door. "I'd like to see Mrs. Langstrom. I have an appointment with her at ten."

    The man behind the desk looked at his papers for a moment. "Yes ma'am, you must be Elektra Powers. Mrs. Langstrom's 9:30 appointment cancelled so she can see you now."

    "Thank you, sir," Lexi said politely, and walked in the direction that the man had pointed. In a matter of steps she was standing in front of Mrs. Langstrom's door. A brass sign with the name V. Langstrom was etched into it and below it the words Manager and Owner.

    Hesitantly, Lexi held up a hand to knock on the door, but before she could gather up the courage to knock, the door swung open and Mrs. Langstrom stood before her. "Come in please, I've been expecting you." Mrs. Langstrom was a tall woman, in her early thirties and very thin. Her dark hair fell to her shoulders in curls and she wore a tan suit, almost a perfect stereotype of a female banker.

    Lexi stepped into her office and sat down when Mrs. Langstrom asked her to. "Thank you. I wanted to speak to you about my application for…" She stopped at the sound of a sudden blood curdling scream from outside in the lobby.

    Mrs. Langstrom and Lexi looked at each other and hurried out into the lobby where they saw three men and their large Pokémon, standing in the lobby.

    One of the men was large and muscular, one was fairly short, and the last man was of an average size. The smallest man turned toward the door and shouted, "Everybody on the floor!"

    She looked down to see a young boy about her age wearing a brown Stetson hat. He stared back at her for a moment, and then he reached up and grabbed her wrist. "You'd better get down, princess… These guys're serious."

    As she got down on the floor, she looked at him. "What's going on?"

    The boy looked at one of the men. "Ain't you ever seen a bank robbery before?"

    Another man poked him on the shoulder. He appeared to be in his early twenties, and wore a leather jacket and black jeans. "You got a plan, Jake?"

    The boy, whom he called Jake, looked around. "These ba—" he caught himself before he swore in front of Lexi. "These fools picked the wrong bank to rob. You take those guys over there," Jake pointed at the two smaller guys who were collecting money from the bank tellers, "and I'll take that big sucker over there," he added pointing at the big man, "and we'll go on three."

    "Wait… we go on three or… y'know, three then we go?" The older one asked as Jake prepared himself.

    Jake looked up at him. "We've been doing this for six months now; I'd think you'd have this down by now, Will."

    "What? We've never counted down before," Will replied with a slight shrug.

    Lexi, who was taken aback by the plan to attack the robbers, grabbed Jake by the arm. "Don't do it!" She hissed at him. "They outnumber you and they've got Pokémon. You going to fight them with your fists?"

    Jake grinned. "Darlin', we're professionals." He glanced at Will and said "three" before scrambling to his feet and charging at the larger man.

    "Jake, wait!" Will shouted as he clumsily got to his feet and drew a pokeball from his belt. He aimed it at the other two bank robbers and pushed the button sending out a stream of red light which began to take the form of a Sneasel. "Iyce, quickly use Ice Beam!"

    The Sneasel acknowledged with a cry and fired a bright blue beam at the two men before they could issue commands to their Rhydon and Aggron.

    Meanwhile Jake who had engaged the large man gave a short loud whistle as his opponent reached into his coat for something. A bolt of electricity shot from the back of the room and hit his opponent in the shoulder, while a purple blob that Lexi hadn't noticed before leapt from Jake's own shoulder and morphed into a long chain which restrained the big man.

    Lexi rolled over on her back to see where the bolt came from, and saw a cobalt blue lion silently padding from out of an adjacent hallway which concealed him while the robbers came in. She slowly got to her feet and glanced back at the battle between Will and the Rhydon and Aggron.

    Rhydon had been frozen solid, but the Aggron was starting to get the better of the Sneasel.

    With speed, the Sneasel was easily dodging attacks, but he was starting to slow down and make mistakes.

    There was a loud roar as the cobalt colored lion leapt on the teller's counter and acquired the attention of the Aggron. The Luxray challenged him with a low resonating growl, and the Aggron accepted the challenge with a hard stomp that seemed to shake the foundation of the building. The Luxray sprang into the air in a forward somersault, his tail glowing brightly and the Aggron met his attack with his claws glowing as well. The Luxray's attack was deflected easily and he landed behind the Aggron on his feet, turning quickly to take advantage of the vulnerable spot that the Aggron presented. Sparks flew as another bolt of electricity shot across the room and hit the metallic Pokémon in his side sending him to the ground paralyzed.

    Lexi was amazed at how quickly it all happened, how quickly Jake and Will had managed to defeat the attackers and especially at how they had managed to not get themselves killed.

    The bank's patrons got up on their feet and began to applaud the two, as Jake stepped over and picked up the bag that the men had gathered from the vault. The bag itself had the letter "G" stamped on the side in an odd sort of font. He motioned Will over and the two started talking. Before Lexi could get close enough to hear what they were saying, Jake whirled around and took his hat off.

    "Ladies and gentlemen, I have some bad news. We've decided that we're not going to give the money back," He said calmly, as his Luxray jumped in between him and the crowd, forming a sort of buffer zone.

    "B-but why would you do that after you just helped us?" One of the tellers asked nervously.

    Jake put his hat on and glanced over at Will. "The money belongs to Team Galactic. See this letter," he pointed to the letter "G" on the bag, "that's their symbol. Now if you'll excuse us." He turned and started to leave with Will and Iyce close behind him. His Ditto released the big man and followed him out, and the last one to start towards the door was the cowboy's Luxray.

    "Stop right there!" Someone called from behind the crowd. Jake turned back on one heel to see who had spoken.

    Lexi was surprised to see Mrs. Langstrom push her way out of the crowd and step into view with a pokeball in hand. She thought she heard the woman whisper "Now I've got you," before pressing the button and releasing a Pokémon. A short plump creature with dark purple fur and red eyes appeared before them; a Gengar.

    "Phantom, use Hypnosis!" She barked and the Gengar complied with a wicked grin; his eyes beginning to glow. Lexi glanced over at the two new bank robbers and their Pokémon who were transfixed via the Gengar's power. Immediately they all collapsed into a deep sleep which they would wake up from in short time.

    Lexi quickly went to them and grabbed the money to return to the teller. She stopped by Mrs. Langstrom and looked at her. "Who are those two?" She asked. "You acted like you know them."

    Mrs. Langstrom smiled slightly. "Let's just say that I've been anxious to meet them for some time."

    =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

    Jake slowly opened his eyes and yawned. "I haven't slept this good in years," he said quietly to no one in particular, "with the insomnia and all; had the strangest dream though."

    He slowly looked around noticing the dark surroundings and that he was handcuffed to a chair.

    "No, that was no dream. You were really caught." A voice said. It was calming, but at the same time it wasn't, because Jake recognized it right off.

    "You're the lady who caught us then?" He looked up and saw the woman standing in front of him.

    "That's right. My name is Victoria Langstrom, and I own this bank." She said sitting down in a chair across from him. "And I know why you robbed it."

    Jake avoided making eye contact with her, guessing that she was a person who could see right through him if she ever looked in his eyes. "We just wanted some the money." He could tell that she was smiling at this point, but he didn't know how to interpret it.

    "No, you wanted to be a hero. I have friends in very high places such as the police department, and the media. You robbed my bank because three days ago there was an article in the paper that I was being investigated for laundering money for Team Galactic." She took his hat off his head and laid it on her desk.

    Suddenly Jake felt naked without something to hide his eyes under. There was now no choice but to look her directly in the eyes and confirm or deny her suspicion. "You seem to have hit the nail on the head… and since you haven't turned us in, I reckon you plan on killin' us."

    "You're half right," She replied, "I haven't turned you in, but not because I plan on killing you. My friends at the police department and at the news paper cooked up that story to lure you and your comrade out into the open so that I could catch you. I want to make you a proposition."

    Jake tilted his head in puzzlement. "You captured us to make a deal with us…"

    "If you don't want to, I suppose I could always turn you over to the authorities," Victoria said innocently.

    Laughing nervously, Jake shook his head. "No ma'am, there's no need to get the law involved. As long as your deal doesn't involve me or Will dyin' or gettin' locked up, I'm all ears."

    "You've been robbing banks and taking money that belonged to Team Aqua and Team Magma for about six months now, yes?"

    Jake nodded silently.

    "Good. You're the perfect candidates for Saber then." She said as she turned to dig through one of her desk drawers. "I was impressed with how quickly you dispatched my men. And your Luxray is very well trained."

    "Where is he?" Jake asked suddenly.

    "You're Pokémon are in the Pokémon Center sleeping off the hypnosis. I would have returned your Luxray to his pokeball, but it seems to have a large crack in it."

    Jake nodded, "I was almost killed in a rockslide about three months ago, Rascal's pokeball was damaged in the incident. I haven't had the time to get it repaired, and the only person I'd trust with that sort of thing lives in Johto anyway." He scratched his chin and looked around. "So what is this 'Saber' you spoke of? Is it literally a saber, or something else?"

    Pulled a device out of the drawer she'd been rummaging in. It was a small wrist watch device; a PokéGear. "It's an organization I joined when I was about your age. I was as young and reckless as you. Now I sit in the highest chair in its ranks. The Sabers have been around for hundreds of years, and are sworn to protect the people and Pokémon from evil. We've overthrown tyrannical governments, destroyed hundreds of criminal organizations and wiped out corrupt businesses the world over," she said before tossing him the device.

    Jake handled the device as if it were a delicate shard of glass, trying to keep from pushing all of the neat buttons on it. He examined it closely, noting that this particular PokéGear was far more advanced than the one he'd bought from Silph Co. two years ago. It was even more advanced than the ones that he'd seen in the stores mere weeks ago.

    "That device is a Saber's lifeline. It keeps him or her in contact with the Controllers at headquarters and has a number of different functions to help in their mission. It's got a two-way walkie-talkie system that will connect you with other Sabers, a GPS system that will tell you exactly where you are in the world, a radio to keep you connected to the news, and a few personal devices such as an mp3 player and cell phone. It's got a direct connection to IRC for various reasons, and last but not least; a watch simply wouldn't be a watch if it couldn't tell time. That's your default function. Also, it's virtually indestructible. I dropped it in my driveway and backed over it with my car just to test that theory, and it survived."

    "You're giving me this because you want me to join you?" Jake asked in puzzlement.

    Mrs. Langstrom nodded and handed him another one. "I've already spoken with your friend and he's agreed to join me."

    "What makes us so special that you need Will n' me to join you?"

    She took a moment to reflect on the best way to answer him, and then looked him in the eyes. "You both have a somewhat colorful record. Although you've only had minor brushes with the police you've still got reputations in the underground community; I can insert you into any organization and you can covertly destroy it from the inside."

    Jake could sense the hesitation in her voice, and stood up. "That makes sense, but I also get the feeling that there's an alternate motive in there somewhere. See, Team Rocket wanted me because of where I was born. They thought I was special."


    "Jacob, I've leveled with you one hundred percent. You have my word that you won't be lied to as long as you're with us, or even after you leave. I've been lied to before too, and it's not something I want to do to you."

    "Alright, I'll need three days to decide. You can find me in Solaceon Town. Now would you mind unhooking me from this chair?" He said pulling on the handcuffs that held his left hand down to the arm of the chair.

    She tossed him the keys and watched him unlock the cuffs.

    Jake picked up his hat and the PokéGear and turned to leave, stopping just short of the door. "Thank you, ma'am," he said before opening the door and stepping out into the lobby. The shifts had changed and most of the customers were gone, so nobody recognized him as the bank robber from earlier, but he did get a couple second glances and stares from some of the bank's patrons.

    A man greeted him at the door. "Mrs. Langstrom has ordered me to take you anywhere you need to go."

    Jake nodded and followed him to a car at the foot of the bank's steps. "The Pokémon Center please."
     

    Giratina ♀

    what's your sign?
    1,439
    Posts
    16
    Years
    • Seen Jul 23, 2013
    I liked this story from the first chapter's title. It's very engaging, and strikes just the right balance of darkness and Pokémonitude that I can enjoy... not to mention using a shovel as a club. And now for a few nitpicks.

    "What can we do about him?"
    Last question mark was unneccesary; we don't need two marks to get that someone's wondering what to do with Jake. It's also grammatically sketchy, but that's a different story.

    "We could dump him in the desert somewhere. He's almost too weak to walk. He wouldn't last the day."
    'Too weak to walk almost' is incorrect. What is 'almost' modifying? If it's 'too weak to walk', then it should come before the thing it modifies.

    ...I'll finish this later, since I need to go right now.
     

    darkcowboy

    Gibbs is EVERYWHERE!
    134
    Posts
    16
    Years
  • I liked this story from the first chapter's title. It's very engaging, and strikes just the right balance of darkness and Pokémonitude that I can enjoy... not to mention using a shovel as a club. And now for a few nitpicks.

    Last question mark was unneccesary; we don't need two marks to get that someone's wondering what to do with Jake. It's also grammatically sketchy, but that's a different story.

    'Too weak to walk almost' is incorrect. What is 'almost' modifying? If it's 'too weak to walk', then it should come before the thing it modifies.

    ...I'll finish this later, since I need to go right now.

    Glad you liked it, and sorry about my grammatical errors. DX I'll work on that in the future. Hope you like Chapter 2, but I can't promise you will. My beta reader said she liked it, but I think she was humoring me. XD
     
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