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Funniest quote of the year~!

"Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina."

-Kindergarten Cop

Never fails to make me laugh.

Don't bother putting this up for voting, you need to hear it for it to be funny.
 
"Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected."

I was just searching the web and I found it. And;

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car."
 
I do like "If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people in the world?" a quip from Stephen Fry.
 
I've got a few that are worth reading.

In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some. - Emo Philips

In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards. - Mark Twain

You can't leave footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time? - Anonymous

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

(I will remove the next one if it seems offensive)
A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you. - Francoise Sagan

A funny thing is if you're out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going for help, then go about ten feet and pretend YOU got bit by a snake. Then start an argument about who's going to get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke. - Jack Handy

I can resist everything except temptation. - Oscar Wilde

A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking. - Arthur Block

7 out of 10 people suffer from hemmoroids. Does this mean that the other 3 enjoy it? - Anonymous

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, No hablo ingles. - Ronnie Shakes

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. - Jack Handy

(Again I'll take off the next if it seems offensive)
Any girl can look glamourous. All they have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books. - Jack Handy

(While choking Bart for laughing at him) I'LL TEACH YOU TO LAUGH AT SOMETHING THAT'S FUNNY! - Homer Simpson
 
22sa said:
"Sigh why can't exams answer themselves"

Someone's display name on my MSN XD
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Lol thats a awsome one :)
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Hahahahha Why can't grass be emo ;) awsome work guys
 
"me fail english, thats unpossible" - ralph wiggum

"When i catch you, im gonna pull out your eyes and shove em' down your pants, so you can watch me kick the cr*p out of you ok!" - Moe Syzlack
 
I've got a good one

'Tony Blair blamed all his problems on his 'big mouth'. Now that is something you shouldn't call your wife in public'- Some Comedian
 
Duct Tape is just like the force. It has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the Universe together... lol

I got it off some guy's shirt at camp in May '07...
 
I'll remove these, if they're offensive. >_>

You don't do homework. Homework does you.
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When I signed up for hotmail i wanted my password to be penis. It said my password wasn't long enough.
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Gente española, si usted no habla inglés, me forzarán tajar de sus órganos genitales, lo ato a un rama del árbol, y lo bajo en una caldera de la lava que hierve.
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- From babelfish. It would usually mean, "If you don't speak English, I will be forced to chop off your genitalia, tie it to a tree branch, and lower it into a flaming pit of lava." I was feeling bored and violent. >_>
 
This was a joke pulled by someone anomynus: The best vitamain for making friends is... tequila! This was someone probably in the adult class but I still found it funny!
 
Well obviously nobody will be posting here because of the dates so somebody should close it
 
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