Funny/Insane Pokedex entries

[CharFeralScep]

Hey all,

Havent posted in this thread before so I guess I am new to the scene. I love pokemon - show games etc, and I am quite old haha. Anyway just listening to some of the pokedex entries and some seem to be so insanely over the top. I'll give a few examples:

Pidgeot: This Pokémon flies at Mach 2 speed, seeking prey.
Heracross: With its Herculean powers, it can easily throw around an object that is 100 times its own weight.

there are so many more I just cant think of, ill add more when I think of them haha

What are your favourite pokedex entries?

Sorry if this has been done before, sounds like it must've but then again never know.

 

[Charmageddon]

This should really be in Pokemon General.

 

[Gary the Magic Fairy]

[Haunter's] tongue is made of gas. If licked, its victim starts shaking constantly until death eventually comes.

It licks people to death.

 

[Jmath]

Grimer: This Pokemon was formed by the exposure of X-rays from the moon.

X-rays. From the moon.

 

[Unown_]

This really should go to Pokemon General.

 

[Misty4Life]

Hmm, where to start. I'll just post a few at a time. Most of these are just insane.

First the moon's Xrays, now this.

Grimer- As it moves, it loses bits of its body from which new GRIMER emerge. This worsens the stench around it.

So bits of its body creates new life? That's pretty scary.

Jynx-It seductively wiggles its hips as it walks. It can cause people to dance in unison with it.

....This one really creeps me out.

Slowking- Every time it yawns, SHELLDER injects more poison into it. The poison makes it more intelligent.

Intellegence poison?

Slugma- It never sleeps. It has to keep moving because if it stopped, its magma body would cool and harden.

That's just ridiculous.

Pupitar-It will not stay still, even while it's a pupa. It already has arms and legs under its solid shell.

Pupa? Here they go trying to combine Pokemon science and Real Life science again.

And this last one I just find disgusting:

Golbat-GOLBAT loves to drink the blood of living things. It is particularly active in the pitch black of night. This POKéMON flits around in the night skies, seeking fresh blood.

 

[I Laugh at your Misfortune!]

Heracross: With its Herculean powers, it can easily throw around an object that is 100 times its own weight.

That's like, eleven snorlax at once.

WAT

 

[Ai]

Cacturne: "If a traveler is going through a desert in the thick of night, CACTURNE will follow in a ragtag group.
The POKéMON are biding their time, waiting for the traveler to tire and become incapable of moving."
"It lives in deserts. It becomes active at night when it hunts for prey exhausted from the desert's heat. "

Cacturne eat people.

D:

 

[Åzurε]

Cacturne = Cannibalism WIN

Drifloon:It tries to bring children to the underworld by pulling onto their hands, but it gets swung around instead.

Drifloon tries to drag kiddies to hell. XD

 

[LegendMaster97]

Which is why kids pop them with BB guns. :)
this is sort of off topic but have you noticed the similarities between Munchlax and Kirby?

 

[Azonic]

Which is why kids pop them with BB guns. :)
this is sort of off topic but have you noticed the similarities between Munchlax and Kirby?

Just because they're fat doesn't mean they're very similar. XD

 

[ArmchairRomeo]

Just because they're fat doesn't mean they're very similar. XD

I think it's more their eating habits.

 

[ShinjisLover]

Off-topicness FTW?

I wouldn't necessarily call this funny or insane, but I do like this one.
Raichuu: {FireRed} Its electric charges can reach even 100,000 volts. Careless contact can cause even an Indian Elephant to faint.

~Poor Elephant. .~

And pretty much all of Koikingu's Pokédex Entries are funny.
Koikingu: {Red/Blue/Green} In the distant past, it was somewhat stronger than the horribly weak descendants that exist today.
Koikingu: {Yellow} Famous for being very unreliable. It can be found swimming in seas, lakes, rivers and shallow puddles.
Koikingu: {Crystal} This weak and pathetic Pokémon gets easily pushed along rivers when there are strong currents.
Koikingu: {Ruby} Magikarp is a pathetic excuse for a Pokémon that is only capable of flopping and splashing. This behavior prompted scientists to undertake research into it.
Koikingu: {Sapphire} Magikarp is virtually useless in battle as it can only splash around. As a result, it is considered to be weak. However, it is actually a very hardy Pokémon that can survive in any body of water no matter how polluted it is.
Koikingu: {FireRed} It is virtually worthless in terms of both power and speed. It is the most weak and pathetic Pokémon in the world.
Koikingu: {Diamond} It is said to be the world's weakest Pokémon. No one knows why it has managed to survive. ~The Ruby and FireRed dex entries are the funniest. Yay for Koikingu bashing! XD~

Hinabasu's Pokédex entries are pretty funny as well.
Hinabasu: {Pearl} It eats anything, so it can even live in polluted streams and lakes. No one pays any attention to it.
Hinabasu: {Platinum} It is a shabby and ugly Pokémon. However, it is very hardy and can survive on little water.

I lol'd at this one, too.
Biidoru: {Emerald} A Weedle has an extremely acute sense of smell. It distinguishes its favorite kinds of leaves from those it dislikes by sniffing with its big red proboscis (nose).

And at this one, too.
Yadon: {Ruby/Sapphire} Slowpoke uses its tail to catch prey by dipping it in water at the side of a river. However, this Pokémon often forgets what it's doing and often spends entire days just loafing at water's edge.​

 

[Azonic]

Koikingu: {Ruby} Magikarp is a pathetic excuse for a Pokémon that is only capable of flopping and splashing.

This one is my favorite so far.

I enjoy entries of Smogon analyses for Pokemon like Luvdisc and Spinda a lot more.

 

[skeddles]

Off-topicness FTW?

I wouldn't necessarily call this funny or insane, but I do like this one.
Raichuu: {FireRed} Its electric charges can reach even 100,000 volts. Careless contact can cause even an Indian Elephant to faint.

~Poor Elephant. .~

And pretty much all of Koikingu's Pokédex Entries are funny.
Koikingu: {Red/Blue/Green} In the distant past, it was somewhat stronger than the horribly weak descendants that exist today.
Koikingu: {Yellow} Famous for being very unreliable. It can be found swimming in seas, lakes, rivers and shallow puddles.
Koikingu: {Crystal} This weak and pathetic Pokémon gets easily pushed along rivers when there are strong currents.
Koikingu: {Ruby} Magikarp is a pathetic excuse for a Pokémon that is only capable of flopping and splashing. This behavior prompted scientists to undertake research into it.
Koikingu: {Sapphire} Magikarp is virtually useless in battle as it can only splash around. As a result, it is considered to be weak. However, it is actually a very hardy Pokémon that can survive in any body of water no matter how polluted it is.
Koikingu: {FireRed} It is virtually worthless in terms of both power and speed. It is the most weak and pathetic Pokémon in the world.
Koikingu: {Diamond} It is said to be the world's weakest Pokémon. No one knows why it has managed to survive. ~The Ruby and FireRed dex entries are the funniest. Yay for Koikingu bashing! XD~

Hinabasu's Pokédex entries are pretty funny as well.
Hinabasu: {Pearl} It eats anything, so it can even live in polluted streams and lakes. No one pays any attention to it.
Hinabasu: {Platinum} It is a shabby and ugly Pokémon. However, it is very hardy and can survive on little water.

I lol'd at this one, too.
Biidoru: {Emerald} A Weedle has an extremely acute sense of smell. It distinguishes its favorite kinds of leaves from those it dislikes by sniffing with its big red proboscis (nose).

And at this one, too.
Yadon: {Ruby/Sapphire} Slowpoke uses its tail to catch prey by dipping it in water at the side of a river. However, this Pokémon often forgets what it's doing and often spends entire days just loafing at water's edge.​

Hmm... englishplz?

This one's off a card, but I've always thought it was rediculous:

Raticate: "A Raticate's front teeth are incredibly powerful; it can destroy a two-story house with them in 5 minutes."

Well uh... there goes your house...

Machamp: "Using its heavy muscles, it throws powerful punches that can send the victim clear over the horizon."

Well uh... there goes your pokemon...

(please note, all of machamps are rediculous)

"One arm alone can move mountains. Using all four arms, this Pokémon fires off awesome punches"

"Its four ruggedly developed arms can launch a flurry of 1,000 punches in just two seconds."

 

[Niprop]

Machamp: "Using its heavy muscles, it throws powerful punches that can send the victim clear over the horizon."

Well uh... there goes your pokemon...

(please note, all of machamps are rediculous)

"One arm alone can move mountains. Using all four arms, this Pokémon fires off awesome punches"

"Its four ruggedly developed arms can launch a flurry of 1,000 punches in just two seconds."

Machamp's arms should explode at that rate!

 

[Halcyon]

Parasect: (FireRed) It scatters toxic spores from the mushroom cap. In China, the spores are used as herbal medicine.

Apparently, there is a unidentified, mysterious loophole between China and the Pokemon World. :O

Poliwrath: With its extremely tough muscles, it can keep swimming in the Pacific Ocean without resting.

I AM GOING TO HUNT ONE RIGHT NOW XD

 

[xxChazxx]

I win this thread.

 

[LightSlei]

Parasect: (FireRed) It scatters toxic spores from the mushroom cap. In China, the spores are used as herbal medicine.

Apparently, there is a unidentified, mysterious loophole between China and the Pokemon World. :O

Poliwrath: With its extremely tough muscles, it can keep swimming in the Pacific Ocean without resting.

I AM GOING TO HUNT ONE RIGHT NOW XD

In the first generation games the diaries in the Cinnabar Mansion mentioned a country in South America, I think Brazil where they found Mew. :S.

To be honest I never really paid attention, I'll go try to find some now.

 

[The Scientist]

Slowking- Every time it yawns, SHELLDER injects more poison into it. The poison makes it more intelligent.

Intellegence poison?

Slugma- It never sleeps. It has to keep moving because if it stopped, its magma body would cool and harden.

"Intelligence poison" does exist. I answered a similar question a while back.

Sharks don't "sleep" because they need a constant flow of water over their gills in order to breathe.

Machamp's arms should explode at that rate!

Oh, I see what you did there...