God's gift

[OmegaRuby and AlphaSapphire]

Hey I'm new in this section of PC :)
This is my poem for the Poem contest thread (https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=228837&page=4) I'll like to know what people think about it :):

God's gift​

God gave us life​

He gave us the ability to love and to seek​

This beautiful gift is too precious to waste​

One must enjoy one's life with the same grace as it was created from​

Though one mustn't forget the one who gave him life​

With this gift I can build sky scrappers, go to the stars, and move about​

This world full of god's gifts​

The bright light that makes us move​

The ether that gives us the will to continue
​

In this hell of a world​

 

[Kirozane]

Hmmmm.... It is a tad too literal. Poetry tends to be more abstract than concrete you know? pointing to the target instead of hitting it, in hopes the reader will hit it themselves.

Regardless, it's good.

 

[Midnight Moon~]

I love it. It may be more literal than most, but that doesn't necessarily make it bad, it makes it unconventional. It still flows well and shows the author's viewpoint well. You're a talented poet, MRAS(: If you aren't happy with it, though, practice makes perfect. There are a lot of guides in the stickies at the top of this section. It's kind of sad how inactive this part of the forum is, but with each person who starts posting poems, it gets a little more active ^.^

 

[Prometheus]

Its a nice Poem, Great layout, 9.2/10.