[Pokémon] He who is Merely a Rumour

[Sgt Shock]

Btw, I think you're being too hard on your own fic. I'm reading it (in my usual fashion - slowly XD). Grammatically, it could use some work, but it's a very solid concept, at least this far. ^^ But, as they say, we are our own harshest critics. :P

I think I have been working too hard on it (I actually have majority of it done). But I'm currently having a writer's block on my other stories so I'm basically stuck doing this one. >_> Grammatically, yeah I do need work, sadly. Most in which are done mainly by me typing too fast for my mind to even catch up. Anyway, I'm glad that people are exactly reading.

 

[Feign]

If you had it removed, I think it would take away the substance, or the importance of the particular anecdote.

 

[Citrinin]

Well, I don't necessarily have to remove it - I might be able to modify it without it losing its impact. But you need to tell me which part you're talking about. XD;

 

[Feign]

Well, Shuckle produces several interesting chemicals, which I thought about as I was lying in bed a few nights ago. They all have interesting effects, but if I were to mix them in with each other, tweaking with proportions and other catalysts, reagents, and auxiliary compounds, something incredible could happen. Imagine a chemical that could sever allegiances and make people turn to our side."

It would put them into a two-day coma, and their brain would become highly receptive to messages we placed in their head. Then, as they woke up, they would get endorphin releases from obeying these messages, and their other primal instincts, like eating. Then, other parts of the concoction would inhibit ceratonin release when they went against these messages, or did other things at the expense of it.

Just those two parts, but nothing big and serious.

 

[Citrinin]

The first one, I don't think I should expand upon - it's the classicly complex ramblings of Cicero.

The second one, I think I should probably put an explanatory sentence at the end: Essentially, it would make them want to do what we tell them to, and make it difficult for them to experience any fulfilment from doing anything else.

Would that work? :s

 

[Feign]

Yep it would seem so :D

Moral ambiguity ftw!

 

[Citrinin]

OK. Added. :)

Moral ambiguity ftw!

Indeed. :) It's good to see that you think so, and that I'm not injecting my own views too much here. Ideally you shouldn't be able to tell what they are. XD;

 

[Feign]

OK. Added. :)


Indeed. :) It's good to see that you think so, and that I'm not injecting my own views too much here. Ideally you shouldn't be able to tell what they are. XD;

Well I'd go with the fact that the majority of humans are morally good, and that, thus far (at least on the internet), you have displayed as such. XD

 

[Citrinin]

Well I'd go with the fact that the majority of humans are morally good, and that, thus far (at least on the internet), you have displayed as such. XD

Realistically, people will do what they think is right, but will compromise this if they're at risk or there is gain to be had. Alternatively, I could write a fic where everyone is awful, which is not accurate; neither is a fic where everyone is peachy except for the Big Bad. XP; That is a premise I've tried to build my story around, yes. :P In the context of the situation, I've tried to make people's actions as realistic as possible. Of course, you always have exceptions, like Augury and his henchmen.

Of course, the key there is "what they think is right". And I have my own opinion of what I think is right, but I'm hoping more that that isn't coming through. XD; I like to let the reader make up their own mind. :P

 

[Sgt Shock]

Of course, the key there is "what they think is right". And I have my own opinion of what I think is right, but I'm hoping more that that isn't coming through. XD; I like to let the reader make up their own mind. :P

Hm. I like that idea. I like making readers think about what is right exactly. What the meaning of "doing the right thing" and how far people will go to achieve their "right." Playing with that concept is truly fun.

Btw. Moral Ambiguity is rather fun when creating a character.

 

[Citrinin]

Hm. I like that idea. I like making readers think about what is right exactly. What the meaning of "doing the right thing" and how far people will go to achieve their "right." Playing with that concept is truly fun.

Exactly. :D In both of the Manfred-Cicero conversations, you could take either character's side, or you could see that some parts of what they say are right; others are wrong. I've tried to make each side present their argument convincingly, although realistically (as in, coupled with deflecting jokes and snide remarks). XD;

I'd also like to think that the entire plot is a bit morally challenging. Throughout different parts in the story, Dagger could either be described as a villain or an anti-hero. Describing him overall could pose a bit of a challenge.

Bevan is a whole new can of worms. It's pretty clear that he's a protagonist sucked involuntarily into this whole messy world, but Part III will change that clear interpretation. Also, one could ask whether it's moral to destroy your emotion, which is intrinsically linked to personality and being.

And that's just to give a few examples. ;D

Btw. Moral Ambiguity is rather fun when creating a character.

This sentence has given me an idea, interestingly enough, not even related to it. XD; But to respond, absolutely. A lot of my characters are morally ambiguous to a certain extent, because that is the nature of the human. I think you can guess which character I put the most ambiguity into, though. ;D

 

[Nudge]

Heyy
Hmm I don't know what it is or why but I didn't really get into this chapter as much as the others *shrugs*
However, yet again I liked what you did with Manfred an Cicero, and yet again I'm liking Manfred even more than Cicero lol

Only thing i noticed was this:

The man dropped to the floor, silently. These guards would soon go cold, and their heat sensors underneath their armpits would set off a rather unwanted alarm, if that were to heppen. Ripping open their shirts (and recoiling from the stench), he placed heat-generating patches where the sensors were. Still kneeling, he lifted one of their heads up to the iris scanner at the door. The scanner beeped in acceptance, and the moment the door swung open, it was a matter of who could shoot faster: the guard inside or the professional terrorist.

Two silent shots, and one man fell. The member of The Knife casually stepped over the dead guard's body, and shut the door behind him. It was time to get to work.

I believe this should be happen

But anyways I'll get back to you when the next chapter makes it's way to PC :D

 

[Citrinin]

Hmm I don't know what it is or why but I didn't really get into this chapter as much as the others *shrugs*

That's a shame. :C Perhaps it was due to the lack of action? (Seeing as it was more of a build-up chapter.)

However, yet again I liked what you did with Manfred an Cicero, and yet again I'm liking Manfred even more than Cicero lol

Hahaha, good to hear you guys are taking different sides. XP

I believe this should be happen

:O Thanks. XD; Why my spellcheck didn't get that, I have no idea. :P

EDIT: Oh, I see. I've learned a new word, then. XD;

 

[Nudge]

That's a shame. :C Perhaps it was due to the lack of action? (Seeing as it was more of a build-up chapter.)

Yeah that could possibly be why but I don't mind it's still my fave fan-fic :D
So who's every1 else rather, Manfred or Cicero?
And who do you prefer Citrinin?

You seem to be churning these chapters out pretty fast, not that I have any objections or anything :P
When I used to write mine on another site it used to take 2 weeks roughly per chapter, but I was a slow writer so that could be why lol

 

[Citrinin]

Yeah that could possibly be why but I don't mind it's still my fave fan-fic :D

Thank you. ^_^;

And who do you prefer Citrinin?

I'll tell you after the story's over. ;D I don't want to spoil any interpretations by revealing my personal views just yet. XD;

You seem to be churning these chapters out pretty fast, not that I have any objections or anything :P

Heh, I've been told before that I need to slow down a bit. XD; If it does ever get to the point that it's difficult to keep up, though, don't hesitate to say. :) (And that goes for anyone reading my fic as well.)

When I used to write mine on another site it used to take 2 weeks roughly per chapter, but I was a slow writer so that could be why lol

I've been quite lucky in that I've mostly been able to avoid writer's block (except in the Chapter 12/13/14 area), which has helped. XD;

 

[Sgt Shock]

Yeah that could possibly be why but I don't mind it's still my fave fan-fic :D
So who's every1 else rather, Manfred or Cicero?
And who do you prefer Citrinin?

I'm kind of torn between the two. I like the two for different reasons. But I think I like Manfred a bit more than Cicero. :P

 

[Citrinin]

Out of curiosity, how come? I'm just interested. XD;

By the way, you can expect another chapter sometime tomorrow (by tomorrow, I mean Friday in GMT+13 time, which is probably Thursday for most of you. XD)

 

[Sgt Shock]

Out of curiosity, how come? I'm just interested. XD;

By the way, you can expect another chapter sometime tomorrow (by tomorrow, I mean Friday in GMT+13 time, which is probably Thursday for most of you. XD)

The conversion between the two I just fell in love with how Manfred just words things. Such as ""For someone who likes people around him to speak bluntly, your words are surprisingly unhelpful." I'll give you a detailed reason later. I've been working all day (aside from school work) on revising grammatically my fan fiction lol. :P I'm tired of typing.

Can't wait for the next chapter though.

 

[Citrinin]

The conversion between the two I just fell in love with how Manfred just words things. Such as ""For someone who likes people around him to speak bluntly, your words are surprisingly unhelpful." I'll give you a detailed reason later. I've been working all day (aside from school work) on revising grammatically my fan fiction lol. :P I'm tired of typing.

XD; Fair enough - take your time. ;D I agree - Manfred is very eloquent; he derives a lot of enjoyment from manipulating words. :P

 

[Sgt Shock]

Ah woah. I have listened to your attachment about how Augury's voice sounds. WOW. That was freakin' scary but so freakin cool. I have to read the Augury parts over again now I know his general voice pattern. I don't know if I should have listened to it at night though. I'm going to hear it in my dreams. *cringes* Good job.