Here I am again with another untitled comic D=

[Smarties-chan]

My last two tries at making a sprite comic were absolutely horrible, but they weren't completely wasted either. I learned things like speech bubbles are good for you, every character needs a personality and good grammar and spelling are the most important things in making a sprite comic. I have been working hard on the plot and I have got the general idea planned, but I do take my time making comics so updates won't come too often. I don't have nearly enough comics done to get a proper rating, but I want to know if it's worth continuing this comic.

This is the order the panels should be read
~Part one~ (currently un-named, because I couldn't come up with anything that didn't sound corny and because I'm lazy >.<
~Part two~ no title for this one either, fear teh laziness again >.<
~Part three~ Bellsprout trouble fear the lameness of the title -_-​

Credits:
The spriter's resources for the base sprites for my edited ones
Whoever made Elitemap, it's really convenient for ripping maps _^^

C&C please. And keep in mind that I will ignore every post that doesn't state why the person likes or dislikes the comic. Contructive criticism and reasoning are your friends >.<

And one more thing, I will not allow people to join this comic

Bios

Zack

General information: Zack is a fifteen year old boy who grew up in Violet city with his abusive parents who both had an alcohol problem.
When Zack was only ten years old, his parents died in a car accident. Zack had mixed feelings about his parents' death, one side was worried because he didn't have any place he could call home anymore, the other side was happy because he was finally free. However, he didn't have to worry about this for a long time, soon he was forced into an orphanage where he spent two years, untill one day...
Zack was on his way to school when he heard quiet whimpering from a dark alley. A thin Sneasel sat there in a corner, its fur was muddy and had gathered all kinds of trash.
The Sneasel looked resonably healthy, but it had a huge red scar on its left eye and it looked like it hadn't been fed for ages. Zack, who had never felt sympathy for anyone or anything else now felt a sudden wave of warmth flush through him. Zack didn't have much to offer, but he had a couple of sandwiches he had got from the orphanage for his lunch in his backpack. Zack reached out his hand, holding a sandwich towards the Sneasel. The Sneasel observed Zack with a shy look on its face. Zack left the sandwich on the ground and took a few steps backwards.
'It's all yours', Zack said. His usually cold and hard voice was now soft and friendly. The Sneasel carefully took a few steps forward and greedily snatched the sandwich, swiftly jumping backwards.
This Sneasel was clearly ownerless and it didn't seem to want an owner either, so after Sneasel had finished Zack's sandwich, he decided it would be best to go. But when Zack tried to leave, the Sneasel grabbed his leg with incredible strenght.
Zack tried to shake the Sneasel off, but the harder he tried, the harder the Sneasel grabbed his leg. After a good 30 minutes, Zack gave up.
'I think my should would be much more comfortable for you'. Zack said, with a soft smile spreading across his face.
This was the beggining of the friendship between Zack and his trusty Sneasel.

That day, Zack decided he wasn't going to spend the rest of his life rotting away in an orphanage, with his new pal Sneasel he set off to Cherrygrove city. He soon realized he wasn't going to survive living by leftovers he dug up from trash cans, so he taught his Sneasel the basics of pickpocketing and lockpicking. Together Sneasel and Zack became an awesome burglar team. However, the global police found out about this and they weren't going to let a twelve year old fool them. Zack has been on the run for two years now and when there were no other hiding places left in Johto region, he decided it was time to leave his beloved home, that's when he decided to go check out Kanto region...

Personality: Zack is a very energetic young man who doesn't enjoy anything more than hitting on girls and goofying around. Even though he doesn't let it show, Zack has his emotional side. He usually acts like nothing matters to him and like he couldn't possibly care less how others feel. However, deep inside, Zack loves Pokémon, he still hates all other human beings though. Zack is mostly a self-centerd git and his Pokémon are the only friends he ever had.

Zack isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, he is often outsmarted by his own Pokémon and usually doesn't even realize it himself. Zack is a very arogant and stubborn person and won't listen to anyone but himself.

Pokémon:

Sneasel
Gender: Male
General information: Sneasel was Zack's first Pokémon. It is the exact opposite of Zack. It's shy behaviour at their first meeting was entirely about the circumstanses. Sneasel is very sly and intelligent, but weak for its kind. During burglaries it likes to let Zack think he's the one leading the operation, even though in reality, Sneasel is the reason Zack never got caught.



History: Sneasel was once owned by a spoiled brat who mistreated it. It didn't matter how hard Sneasel tried to please his master, he still lost every single battle and got punished by the crack of a whip. However, one day Sneasel got enough of it and ambushed the boy when he was playing in the backyard with his loyal Arcanine. It caused serious injuries to the boy, sending him to the hospital in a critical state. Since then, Sneasel has been travelling the lands alone, untill he met Zack of course.

well... added a small part of Sneasel's bio. I'll continue working on it later.

 

[Rai]

Lol. I just had to post here D:

I personally think those were adorable =3

But the story line was kinda funky D;

You still did a wonderful job, though! Great job, Smarties! =)

 

[Decepticon]

these are ok. i dont like the way the panels are set up though >.<;
i feel bad for that bellsprout though. and i dont even like bellsprouts T-T;
i wanna see more =D

 

[Smarties-chan]

Oh... I forgot to post the reading order, doh! *Bangs his head against the wall*

there _^^

Lol. I just had to post here D:

I personally think those were adorable =3

But the story line was kinda funky D;

You still did a wonderful job, though! Great job, Smarties! =)

Yes, I suppose the storyline seems a little weird, but once I'll get the bios up (yes, I'm actually going to do that despite my laziness O.o). The storyline will get much deeper though, I can't reveal more, because I don't want to spoil things D=

these are ok. i dont like the way the panels are set up though >.<;
i feel bad for that bellsprout though. and i dont even like bellsprouts T-T;
i wanna see more =D

There's always someone who doesn't like the panel setup and wants a different one, but it's impossible to please them all. Thanks for pointing that out, though _^^ Your opinion is very important if more people don't like the setup, because if that's the case, I'll change it ^_^

Thanks for the comments and for pointing out the things you didn't like ^_^

bios will come up tomorrow and maybe then you'll understand the storyline a little better.

 

[Titanium]

Very good done. I love the way you used the bubble speech.

 

[Decepticon]

I figured out the panel set up afterwards. i was just confused by it at first since no other comics i read to that XD

 

[Smarties-chan]

Very good done. I love the way you used the bubble speech.

Glad people don't take speech bubbles negatively. I'm really tired of all these text under panels comics.

I figured out the panel set up afterwards. i was just confused by it at first since no other comics i read to that XD

I figured pretty many would be confused at first, that's why I made that panel order thingy. I forgot to put it up in my first post though, speaking of putting it up on my first post *goes off to edit*

 

[Esupio]

too much emticons

¬¬*shot*

Pretty good so far, doesn't seem to genric, but we'll see

 

[Alter Ego]

Like Shorties...I didn't know you'd improved that much while I wasn't looking. xD Anyways, just a small note...the way you added in Zack's name was...erm...kind of awkward, really. o.O Maybe you could have added a little narrator interference or whatnot in the beginning. Also, I notice that two out of three chappies of this comic end with a pokémon being sent out. That's going to get a tad dull and very repetitive if it keeps up. =P

On the plus side, it's refreshing to have a non-goody-two-shoesy main character for a change and I love the way you added their moods in the little bubble-thingies. Kind of reminds me of the Golden Sun games...say, you wouldn't happen to have ripped that off from said games, would you? *Pokes* Regardless, the graphics and panel layouts were very proffessionally done, a considerable improvement from your earlier comics, although I do agree that your plot is still looking a bit fuzzy. Still, would it be safe to assume that the destiny of all mankind will end up hinging on Zack and that gal he swiped the earring from working together? ^.~ Not that I blame her for getting mad though...someone swiping your earring that fast...it's got to hurt, you know. =P

Regardless, keep working on those titles, eh? ^^

 

[Smarties-chan]

too much emticons

¬¬*shot*

Pretty good so far, doesn't seem to genric, but we'll see

Oh... it will be everything but generic. Zack doesn't care a crap about gyms, he mainly cares about himself -.-

Like Shorties...I didn't know you'd improved that much while I wasn't looking. xD Anyways, just a small note...the way you added in Zack's name was...erm...kind of awkward, really. o.O Maybe you could have added a little narrator interference or whatnot in the beginning. Also, I notice that two out of three chappies of this comic end with a pokémon being sent out. That's going to get a tad dull and very repetitive if it keeps up. =P

On the plus side, it's refreshing to have a non-goody-two-shoesy main character for a change and I love the way you added their moods in the little bubble-thingies. Kind of reminds me of the Golden Sun games...say, you wouldn't happen to have ripped that off from said games, would you? *Pokes* Regardless, the graphics and panel layouts were very proffessionally done, a considerable improvement from your earlier comics, although I do agree that your plot is still looking a bit fuzzy. Still, would it be safe to assume that the destiny of all mankind will end up hinging on Zack and that gal he swiped the earring from working together? ^.~ Not that I blame her for getting mad though...someone swiping your earring that fast...it's got to hurt, you know. =P

Regardless, keep working on those titles, eh? ^^

I learn from my mistakes, I actually spent time planning this thing (not like I did with my two other comics) -_-

And who the heck would like a goody-two-shoes for a main character? And no, I didn't take the idea of the emotion bubbles from the Golden Sun games. But now that you mention it, yes, the GS games do have those bubbles O.o You actually said I did something professionaly? O_O Never thought I'd hear my brother say that =P

Anyways... I added Zack's bio. Sad isn't it, that I have seen fanfictions that are shorter than that thing O_O I still have to add the bios for his Pokémon. I don't have time for that now, though (curse my bedtime >.<).

 

[adwajr]

That is a lot of Profile. Ma and Pa died in a car accident! (Serves those alchaholic nerds right!)
Ha ha! Now I can read the comics etter. I was wondering why they kept changing places. On a boat. Off the boat. On the boat again...