The hatched Pokémon's gender will always be random; there is absolutely no way to affect it.
In gen 5, the female Pokémon must have the Hidden Ability for the chance of it being passed if it does not breed with a Ditto. Males in gen 5 can not pass down Hidden Abilities. In BW, if you meet the right conditions, there is a 60% chance of the hatched Pokémon having the Hidden Ability, and in B2W2 it's an 80% chance.
As for the regular Abilities, in gen 5 I don't think there is any way to guarantee what the hatched Pokémon will have. I think in gen 6, the mother's Ability has a higher chance of passing down, but I don't know if that applies to gen 5.
Breeding for IVs is difficult in gen 5. You'll want to stick an Everstone on the right parent to guarantee passing down that Nature; for the IVs, you'll need to use a mix of Power Items to guarantee a specific IV being passed down (for example, if a parent is holding the Power Belt then that parent's Defense IV will always be passed to the child) and both parents having perfect IVs in general. The Destiny Knot being able to pass down IVs began in gen 6; in gen 5, there is a 1/6 chance that each individual IV value from the parents will be passed down. It takes a lot of patience to get the Pokémon you want to hatch.
As for shininess, owning the Shiny Charm increases the chance of obtaining a shiny Pokémon in all instances, so that will help. The only other method that would help is the Masuda Method, which is simply that if the two parents used are from different regions (one from Japan and one from North America, for example) then the chance of the offspring being shiny is increased. The Shiny Charm and Masuda Method are the only two ways available to increase the chance of shininess in a hatched Pokémon.
If you absolutely must IV breed in gen 5, it will be in your best interest to search for a gen 5-specific breeding guide for the specifics on IV inheritance. Gen 6 introduced a lot of conveniences that simply aren't present in gen 5, so looking up a gen 6 guide will not suffice. I hope this was able to help at least a little, though, and I wish you good luck in your breeding endeavors!