I can never ~short poem~

[fallen_angel]

HEy everybody here was a poem I made a long time ago, but forgot to post it.

I can never get you out of my mind,
I can never stop worrying about you,
Everywhere I go its you I try to find,
Blame me you can even sue.

But I can never look away.
I can never do just that,
since you own my only friendship,
since you own my whole heart.​

Did you like it?

 

[.: Kira Yamato :.]

angel, I love this poem, please continue to make more for pc to read...it reminds me of my girlfriend ^^ 10/10

 

[fallen_angel]

Thanks Kira Yamato. ^_^ I appreciate it.

 

[Smarties-chan]

Bravo! Another masterpiece from you _^^

The flow gets interupted in the

Everywhere I go its you I try to find,
Blame me you can even sue.

part though

 

[fallen_angel]

hmmm...Yeah that's true. I couldn't think of what else to put. So I just put the first thing that popped in my mind. Thanks. :)

 

[Midori Chi]

Yay! ^^ It's nice. Keep up the good work. But I found a few...I guess you could say punctuation errors. Instead of all the commas, you could use periods:



I can never get you out of my mind.
I can never stop worrying about you.
Everywhere I go it's you I try to find.
Blame me, you can even sue.

But I can never look away.
I can never do just that,
since you own my only friendship.
Since you own my whole heart.

 

[fallen_angel]

Haha okay thanks Midori chi a.k.a sissy. ^_^

 

[Persona]

i really like this poem, even though its short......it shows a lot of affection and passion. its very good, keep working on poems ^^

 

[fallen_angel]

Thanks I try to show lots of emotion in my poems. ^_^

 

[phantom_zangetsu]

oh...that's nice...small but really great...kinda inspires me....hey, i tried to pm you, but your pm box is full

 

[fallen_angel]

O okay i'll send another PM to you. ^_^ Thanks.