Serious I have a problem; please help.

[TheHalfAngel]

My great-uncle had a heart attack.

I was never close to him, I feel like I should make this clear.

He's been having hallucinations as of late, and the people at the hospital he's at aren't sure he'll pull through. In the (fairly likely, considering he's 85) event he dies, how should I react? As I have mentioned, I didn't really know him at all. Should I be sad? I feel like apathy would be wrong, but sorrow also would be.

Please help, I don't know what to do.

 

[nl4real]

It's okay to feel whatever comes naturally. If you are genuinely sad, that's okay. If you're not really affected because you weren't close, that's also okay as long as you're respectful for those who're closer to him.

 

[RMVNZ]

If you did not know your grandpa well, and if both apathy and sorrow feel inappropriate to you, then empathy to those who were close to him seems like an appropriate "middle.".

 

[Incineroar]

I just had my father pass away late last month from a massive heart attack, and I am in a similar position as you are - we hadn't really talked much in the past several years and I really haven't had much inclination to talk with him, so we aren't exactly close anymore.

My honest advice is simple: process it as it comes, and be there for the people closest to him. You're allowed to feel as you do, and not having a close connection to someone doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to not feel emotions for that person, but conversely it also means you shouldn't be dismissive of that person if anyone else needs a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen, or even just a hug. Showing some empathy for those that were closest to him is the best thing you can provide.

 

[Zero Seven]

You don't owe grief just because you share DNA. If you feel nothing, fine. If you feel weird about it, also fine. There's no "right" reaction—your brain processes things in its own way. Instead of stressing about how you should feel, focus on supporting those who actually were close to him. No need to fake emotions, just roll with whatever comes naturally.

 

[TheHalfAngel]

Update: Kjell died in a hospital, unconcious, at the age of 85. He lived a good long life. May he rest in peace, Kjell Nilsen.