Anxiety.
Walking on sunshine.
- 1,670
- Posts
- 17
- Years
- Birmingham, England.
- Seen Feb 5, 2011
Well, another rant. But more of why I'm scared.
If you know me, you know I have some OCD and paranoia. Well now my OCD is really bad - I'm terrfied someone is going to die and I have no idea why. And I'm getting more and more paranoid that people don't like me and that someone is in my room, like a ghost. I've been feeling like I'm going to throw up for around a month and I haven't yet, I've tried everything. I'm really jumpy and a single noise will terrify me, like I went in my room to find my laptop, and when I came back out the stairs light was off. It scared me so much and I have no idea why.
Now the ghost thing, as retarded as it sounds.
It started with this reccuring nightmare in which I would see this thing that looked like me but covered in blood, a bandage over its eyes, and its throat clawed out. And it chases after me and grabs me and starts trying to speak, but because it has no throat it gargles and spits blood on me, and then I hear a chainsaw sound and wake up.
That stopped a few weeks ago, but then I felt like I was being watched as I sleep, I'd wake up with a really heavy chest and I wouldn't be able to breath properly, and it then I'd see someone sitting in my computer chair, I still do. And when I was at my friends house she fell asleep and I couldn't sleep for some reason, so I went on my laptop, and then I saw someone standing by her bed, I looked right at it, but it was dark so all I could make out was the figure, and then a poster fell next to me so I jumped and looked at it, when I looked back the person was gone. And then I saw it again, by her bed again, and it started to move towards me and then it disapeared again, then I moved my laptop screen down so I could find my bad so I could have a cigarette, and there was this mauled face, I was too scared to even scream, and then it disappeared. I was too scared to move or even sleep for the entire night.
I'm scared of the dark now, and I haven't slept since Friday night.
I don't know what to do. But I'm scared. And I think I'm going crazy... No. I'm not going crazy, but I think I'm just... loosing it.
EDIT: Oh thats just great. Thats just ****ing great. No screw you word filters, I'm angry like you wouldn't belive.
My friend just got jumped by three dudes, and he's all bruised and cut up, and his sisters hand its covered in blood because she punched her wall so hard, and I do mean covered. I want to be there right now. I want to find the ****ers and rip their damn throats out. I want to kill them, and guess what? I CAN'T HELP HIM. I'm too far away. This isn't fair, nobody does that to any of my friends and gets away with it.
FFS. JUST FFS. I've actually NEVER been so angry.
If you know me, you know I have some OCD and paranoia. Well now my OCD is really bad - I'm terrfied someone is going to die and I have no idea why. And I'm getting more and more paranoid that people don't like me and that someone is in my room, like a ghost. I've been feeling like I'm going to throw up for around a month and I haven't yet, I've tried everything. I'm really jumpy and a single noise will terrify me, like I went in my room to find my laptop, and when I came back out the stairs light was off. It scared me so much and I have no idea why.
Now the ghost thing, as retarded as it sounds.
It started with this reccuring nightmare in which I would see this thing that looked like me but covered in blood, a bandage over its eyes, and its throat clawed out. And it chases after me and grabs me and starts trying to speak, but because it has no throat it gargles and spits blood on me, and then I hear a chainsaw sound and wake up.
That stopped a few weeks ago, but then I felt like I was being watched as I sleep, I'd wake up with a really heavy chest and I wouldn't be able to breath properly, and it then I'd see someone sitting in my computer chair, I still do. And when I was at my friends house she fell asleep and I couldn't sleep for some reason, so I went on my laptop, and then I saw someone standing by her bed, I looked right at it, but it was dark so all I could make out was the figure, and then a poster fell next to me so I jumped and looked at it, when I looked back the person was gone. And then I saw it again, by her bed again, and it started to move towards me and then it disapeared again, then I moved my laptop screen down so I could find my bad so I could have a cigarette, and there was this mauled face, I was too scared to even scream, and then it disappeared. I was too scared to move or even sleep for the entire night.
I'm scared of the dark now, and I haven't slept since Friday night.
I don't know what to do. But I'm scared. And I think I'm going crazy... No. I'm not going crazy, but I think I'm just... loosing it.
EDIT: Oh thats just great. Thats just ****ing great. No screw you word filters, I'm angry like you wouldn't belive.
My friend just got jumped by three dudes, and he's all bruised and cut up, and his sisters hand its covered in blood because she punched her wall so hard, and I do mean covered. I want to be there right now. I want to find the ****ers and rip their damn throats out. I want to kill them, and guess what? I CAN'T HELP HIM. I'm too far away. This isn't fair, nobody does that to any of my friends and gets away with it.
FFS. JUST FFS. I've actually NEVER been so angry.
