~*~ Julia's Poetry Thread ~*~

Dignity

[~As I lay dying~]
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    • Seen Sep 28, 2009
    Well, I've been writing a pretty lot lately. So, I figure, why make a new thread each time I have a poem? I'll just update this one instead. Well, my latest and first poem in this thread... Here goes nothing *holds breath*

    The Rose:

    Red petals -
    like drops of fallen red tears
    Sharp thorns -
    picking at your heart like a knife

    A rose is love,
    and love is like a rose
    A game -
    with cruel intentions

    The downfall -
    the petals wilting
    They fall,
    continously dropping.

    A rose is like
    a broken heart -
    dying -
    in silence, silently weeping.

    A rose -
    blossoming anew -
    the next love -
    and it is sure to be true.

    Love is like a rose -
    a never-ending cycle

    ~origin
     
    xXxLaYdee0rIgInxXx said:
    Well, I've been writing a pretty lot lately. So, I figure, why make a new thread each time I have a poem? I'll just update this one instead. Well, my latest and first poem in this thread... Here goes nothing *holds breath*

    The Rose:

    Red petals -
    like drops of fallen red tears
    Sharp thorns -
    picking at your heart like a knife

    A rose is love,
    and love is like a rose
    A game -
    with cruel intentions

    The downfall -
    the petals wilting
    They fall,
    continously dropping.

    A rose is like
    a broken heart -
    dying -
    in silence, silently weeping.

    A rose -
    blossoming anew -
    the next love -
    and it is sure to be true.

    Love is like a rose -
    a never-ending cycle

    ~origin
    Click to expand...

    Awwws, Julia, this poem is so sweet! <3 It really depicts both love and the rose itself. ^^ This poem shows how alike love and the rose are. For love is sweet and beautiful; yet even love has throns that burst the heart and can make a person's soul begin to wilt and die.

    In your last lines "Love is like a rose - a never-ending cyle." really shows that even though all hope can be seen as lost forever, love returns with even more vigor and hope than ever before. <3

    The only suggestion I have for you is to use punctuation marks after each line. ^^ Niko (Oni Flygon) had the same problem. If you put commas, periods, colons, etc. at the end of each line, this really helps with the overall flow of the poem and makes it more attractive in appearance. ^^

    Great work Julia, I can't wait for you to write more! =D

    ~Kelsey
     
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