Rainbow Chara X
Impossible to gauge!
- 129
- Posts
- 8
- Years
- Age 28
- Shiny Hunting in Sinnoh
- Seen Apr 25, 2024
Oh lord we got to this part.
[FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, lucida grande, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Chapter 9 (Normal) - Unavoidable Destiny[/FONT][FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, lucida grande, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]
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Ritz is in trouble? We're on our way.
Meanwhile, we deal with a rooster problem in another part of the country.
So... Ritz and Shara somehow managed to get themselves trapped without the other members of Clan Ritz (yes, there's actually more than just two members) in a dark forest with zombies and evil fairies.
What was that mission like?
They can summon death from above, no wonder Ritz got trapped
But in all seriousness, the fairies have an attack called Meteorite that looks cool but does average damage. It's not really worth worrying about.
(Also, I can't believe I forgot to mention this earlier, but White Wind is a Blue magic spell.)
... You're going to throw money to hurt me? What kind of cockamamie battle plan is this? All that'd really accomplish would be me stealing your wallet.
Oh well, it's not like the zombies or the sprites were any danger. I don't think Shara or Ritz were in any real danger aside from being outnumbered.
Marche is clearly holding back his impulse to ask Ritz help him destroy the world. The last conversation they had is proof enough that they have incompatible goals.
For saving Ritz, she gives us the Topaz Armring. It's supposed to be from Shara and is proof that we're good buddies with Clan Ritz.
Also, it just occured to me now - who is handing out Antilaws at the end of every fight now? Like think about it - we fought monsters in the middle of the woods and the only other people here were Marche's team, Ritz and Shara.
It can't be the judges giving them to you for winning, because that's an extreme Catch 22 with how their job works and how much of a fuss Ezel's made.
So a bunch of teenagers (I assume) are protesting that their friends got captured and you expect us, a trained group of mercenaries, to deal with this in a civil manner.
Good luck with that, Ardin. You might need it.
The mission to save Ulei is to... find a fishing spot first. Alright, whatever.
I'm showing off the Gadgeteer abilities just because Montblanc is learning some now. (It's not because the class is good or anything, it's instead because it teaches Damage > MP. For a mage, that's practically required.)
This is proof that you need to be consistently lucky to get anything out of it. If this Silver Disc hit my allies, everyone on my side would have been blinded. God help you if you're running Gadgeteer and the Red Spring (full-party haste) hits the enemy instead.
"All I did was run in, tell them to knock it off and they left. They were like Moogle kids, so you know."
And he got a medal for that.
Nobel gets the Materia Blade too because yowza just imagine the possibilities.
In order to balance the game a bit, the Ultima abilities cost around 60 MP to use, so yeeesh.
You really have to work for it if you want to learn this, but when you do...
Galor turns into a Floateye and gives this Sprite a nasty staredown. (It is also one of the few monsters who are useless for attacking, so keep that in mind if you want to go full gimmick and start raising your Monster Bank guys.)
Bad Breath in action, and yeeeesh. Galor needs to scrub those robes for at least four days because I can't imagine that going away soon.
... Did I show off Bishop before? Because Nobel is one now and is arguably the most physically imposing one to ever exist.
Last Breath is so good. Despite that, I don't think even this will be the end for this Moogle if this mission coming back up so often is proof.
Either this was a combo or some crazy Black Magic spell, because those are some very nice numbers.
Ahem. The Hero Gaol is a neat little series of sidequests (in a game which is basically The Legend of Sidequest) that are unlocked when you examine the note here.
The first being the Tower Ruins. To give you a short rundown, Gaol and Lini were a legendary duo of a human and a Moogle that went around and did heroic things. Apparently these chapters are supposed to enlighten us on what those deeds were, but I'll get to that when we're actually there.
... Okay, seriously, what the fuck why did it just cut to the epilogue even though we just started doing it?
The thing about the Gaol sidequests is that while we follow the story of the texts, the actual missions we do seem to have zero correlation to the story and are just... there.
Time to go "300" on this Dragon
Haha, that's evil but I love seeing it do so much.
Keep in mind, the 48 was the damage from Ardin's push.
Is the Hero Gaol a commonly told story in Ivalice? That said, why is Montblanc relaying this information? I don't see much purpose behind it.
Cutting over to the epilogue mission (which still makes no sense), we have this group of Moogles that are somehow as weak as beginning enemies. They're supposed to be guarding Lini's grave, but guess what?
Lini is one of the semi-secret characters you can recruit! No, seriously. If you have the Hero Gaol equipped on you when you complete a mission, there's a 1 in 5 chance that you'll encounter him. The fun part? He comes with Ultima Charge pre-learned.
So, you know, if you want to break the game in half earlier than you're supposed to then he's your guy.
Montblanc, you can nuke all of these Moogles by yourself - of course you're worthy. (As tempting as that is, I wouldn't forgive myself for doing a solo run due to how this game works.)
The best part is that you could recruit Lini before this mission is even issued, so you could totally bring him to his grave and have him be like "WTF kupo". (There is no unique dialogue, though, which is a shame)
... Though it begs the question. Is it just someone named after Lini or did he spontaneously return from the dead as some sort of adorable revenant? I don't know, man.
For winning, we get Ayvuir Blue - one of the best blades in the entire game. It may not teach any new abilities but it hits like a steamroller.
What is it with this game and its prejudice against knives? Let me be Dio Brando, damn you
The second chapter takes us to a keep in Aisenfield. Apparently there were thirteen legendary knights in the story that Gaol was a part of, but you know... since it's a side-story in a book, we don't really get any real idea of what this stuff was like.
You know, it could be really cool but instead nah let's just fight some dudes.
... Actually, why did we even come to Aisen Keep ourselves? As far as I'm concerned, Marche and crew just barged into a clan's hideout and beat them up for no reason.
Enough faffing about with stories. We have some illegal logging to crack down on.
: "Yes, yes. Just the right size. Let's get it!"
: "I could get used to this tree-cutting business, kupo! So much easier than cutting things that can fight back, kupo!"
: "Indeed! And they sell for a pretty gil. What a bargain!"
... So how is this any less illegal than whatever we do? Even if the laws prevent us from killing people outright, we're still hospitalizing them to the point of retirement. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
: "Oh dear, we've been discovered, kupo!"
: "Not a problem, as long as we keep them from reporting!"
Cutting things that can fight back might bite you sooner than you expected...
[Current OST: Amber Valley]
(Easily one of the better fight songs in the game. It's up there with Battle of Hope and Beyond the Wasteland)
These are the laws for this fight - keep them in mind because this is gonna turn wacky soon.
This fight is also unique in that seven enemies are here instead of the usual six. It's important to bring up because it actually limits the amount of people we can send out and that's just silly.
One of the more dangerous aspects of enemy Snipers is their ability to break your equipment. Yep, Blade Biters aren't the only kind of unit that can do that. It's especially aggravating in the Snipers' cases because they can do it from a distance.
They are so skilled with a bow and arrow that they can completely undo the work that went into keeping your equipment together. Now that is badass.
Sonia used Rockseal on one of these little bastards, but it wouldn't necessarily be wrong to assume Nobel did it either.
This is what Aim: Armor looks like, so you'd better pray it misses.
So we stopped a bunch of idiots from illegally chopping down some lumber. I'd say things went well.
... This baffles the living hell out of me. How in the world did Montblanc get fined for breaking the Healing law? He's a Black/Time mage through and through! (Aka. he shouldn't be able to heal anybody)
Wait, so... A judge comes to pick up the loggers? So here we have an example of the law system working in a way that's not just "ooh you broke this arbitrary rule, so I'm teleporting you directly to jail motherfucker"? How the hell does the law system work for this crazy-ass country?!
The only logical conclusion I can come to is that Judges are actually corrupt all along and use fights as a way to weed out the people that could be a problem in the future. This stuff? This is what happens when you can't just enforce "no woodcutting tools." That, or battle infidelities are a separate wing of the prison from the people who do illegal things.
Also, I have no idea what happened to the other three. I guess Sonia turned them all to stone and we never got to see them again, which might in fact be a fate worse than death.
[Marche nods and looks at the forest]
"A magic forest... Maybe this has something to do with the crystals too."
Everything is crystals with this kid now. I get it, hard knock life, but you could at least try to enjoy some of it.
For beating that mission we get another flaming sword and an ice robe. Oh, and another Knives law card.
Oooooh, very nice! The Hades Bow is a dark-elemental greatbow that teaches Sidewinder (heavy damage to monsters) and Death Sickle (inflicts Doom). Death Sickle would be higher on the list if it weren't for the fact that Doom takes about three turns before it takes effect and most of the stronger enemies resist Doom, so...
Yeah, it's the thought that counts.
Since that was a plot-related mission, we get to put yet another forest up all the way over here. The Salikawood has a keep deep inside of it, and that's about all I've got.
Ah, so this is where the Caravan Musk comes in. I guess it's only appropriate that we help her.
We're gonna need some ninja speed for this one.
So... there are bandits in Aisenfield? I don't see why that would be a smart thing to do. That'd be like saying "hey our neighborhood is great" while omitting the fact that it's clearly in the middle of a gang war.
"It involved some rope, some tears and uniting a kid with new clothes. I don't know why the client gave me a katana."
"The pretty lady gave me this armor and... the skull of one of her dead pets. Yikes, kupo."
I... yeah, what the hell kind of reward is that?
We caught yet another monster! I think this might be enough for a while.
Randorf snapped his fingers and set everyone on fire, the end. He gets the Morning Star for his troubles - it teaches Magic Power Plus to Alchemists. It's effectively a less powerful version of Turbo MP that doesn't come with the "using twice as much MP" problem, so I guess if you want to conserve your magic then there you go.
The Venus Blade teaches Doublehand, which allows you to wield one-handed weapons with both hands to increase its strength. Sounds cool but isn't really that important at the end of the day.
Hmmmm... Who are we gonna get to perform for a marquis's son's birthday party?
Of course, the Nu Mou with the funny hat.
"Apparently, being able to control the flow of time made an excellent party trick. Everyone loved it."
We get more Thief Armlets along with a White Thread! Great work.
Oh snap! We better get on that.
So yeah, if you catch enough monsters, you get a mission where you have to "capture" a few that got loose.
Hmmmmmmmm. Tough choice, but if we choose "Let go" we fail immediately, so...
Yeah. I would normally feel bad about this if it weren't for the fact that these monsters are obviously terrorizing every town they come across.
... Despite what the mission entailed and what I'm doing right now, you don't actually have to capture any of the monsters. You just have to fight them, but I figured I should get a souvenir for myself while we're here.
That is Blaster in action for you, folks. Just a reminder: Blaster petrifies you if it hits.
Sure, it didn't hit, but it still scared me.
Sidewinder summons this badass energy sword to pierce whatever you're aiming at, plus 98 damage is actually really good for a ranged attack at this stage of the game.
You know, after brutally attacking them and stuff. Good job, Marche.
Oh screw it, let's just hop straight into the next story mission. Just prepare yourselves for what's gonna come up.
[Current OST: Confusion]
"I wonder if it's one of those crystals?"
Marche, please.
???: "You here looking for the emerald too?"
"Wham! In come the clans like a pack of hyenas!"
I like that analogy, actually.
: "Who are you?"
: "I am Babus, personal mage to His Highness, Prince Mewt. I am here surveying this land on his direct request."
: "Mewt's personal mage..."
: "The prince has informed me that there is someone... who means him ill. Know you anything of this?"
The pressure's on. What will Marche say?
: "Who, me? I... I don't know anything, sir."
Attaboy, Marche. You're thinking smart by not revealing your --
: "I had no idea he wanted this world to exist."
Boy, you absolute dumb fuck. Like really?
The man directly states that he's Mewt's personal guardian aside from his father and mother, on top of being a high-ranking member of the royal family and Marche up and states that he's the one who's causing harm to Mewt's fantasy world.
Right in front of Babus's face.
: "Ahem? What was that you just said?"
: "Wait a minute... Perhaps it is you of whom His Highness spoke!"
: "No, I don't mean him any ill at all! I just want the world to go back to the way it was!"
Marche, just... shut up. This is where I think things start to take a nosedive towards "what is wrong with you" territory.
: "Back to the way it was? You speak nonsense! Get him!"
[Current OST: Unavoidable Destiny]
Christ, where do I even begin with what went wrong there.
Everything was fine until Marche opened his stupid mouth and spilled the beans when he clearly didn't need to. Like... it would make more sense if Babus didn't announce that he was Mewt's personal caretaker or if the palace found out about Marche breaking the crystals by catching him in the act or something, but... this?
This is so contrived and stupid that I can't help but be like "that's really what we're going with? Really?".
Marche announcing all of this stuff to Babus, especially the bits where this world wasn't meant to exist, is like asking for a death wish. It's honestly impressive how much brain cells he had to lose to even consider this going down well.
Ech. Anyway, here's a Gunner with Concentrate of all abilities. All of his shots are guaranteed to hit, but it's not like it matters much.
36 / 20 / 92 / 97 / 84 / 72 / 86
Templars are an interesting Bangaa class in that they're almost a jack-of-all-trades when it comes to equipment and have all sorts of fancy support magic. They can use Cheer to improve their attacks, cast Haste, and get the vastly important Attack Plus support ability.
Unfortunately, that's all they're really good for as their speed is pretty awful and they don't learn any outstanding offensive skills aside from one skill that lets them hit an enemy harder the more health they've lost.
30 / 28 / 72 / 68 / 88 / 76 / 88
As I've (probably) said before, Bishops are the only magical class the Bangaa have access to. As you can see, they're... not that great at being mages. To make up for this, Bishops come with magic that most of the normal mage classes can't learn and three completely unique spells - Break, Holy and Judge.
Holy is the standard "blow things up with light" move that, to be honest, is better used by Paladins as Holy Blade. Break petrifies and Judge allows them to steal JP from other opponents. Neat gimmick class, but you're far better off sticking with the Bangaa bread and butter.
35 / 60 / 83 / 50 / 88 / 61 / 105
Then we get to Babus himself who is rocking some incredibly valuable equipment (That we'll come back for in the future, by the way) and a unique class of his own: Runeseeker.
You see, Babus can't change into other jobs because of gameplay restrictions but at least he can kill things while in it. Explode is a more powerful Mega Flare with a fancier animation while Stillness is Stop with three sprites instead of just the one.
So, you know, that's rad. He's also a faster, more-balanced-in-everything unit than most of the other Nu Mou, I noticed.
"What did you mean?"
: "Ivalice isn't a desert; it's a snowy country town! Everything went crazy! This isn't the real world -- This is Mewt's fantasy world... It's like a game!"
Okay, even if he's right on this, he's still in the fantasy world where everything that happens to him is very real and things have consequences. The only reason Marche succeeds is because he's the protagonist and therefore has Adamantium-level plot armor.
: "Hah! The only thing crazy here is you, my boy!"
I KNOW, RIGHT
: "But it's true!"
Even if it is, there's no reason to announce it to the people who can stop you from reaching the crystals... Who are also the primary authority in the land.
: "So this world is a figment of Prince Mewt's imagination? Nonsense! I've served the prince for years!"
: "I'm telling you, Mewt's not a prince! He's just a boy!"
How dense are you, dude? Fuck, are you that incapable of playing along even just for what might be at risk for you and your clan?
: "How dare you call the prince an ordinary commoner!"
Babus, fueled with rage, blows up our party members.
Unfortunately for him, it goes down as well as you expect. Beating Babus is also the key to winning the mission - the other people in the back don't count.
Bam.
I'm still mad at you, Marche.
"Whatever the reason, the prince wants you dealt with. You cause him pain, and that is real enough for me!"
[Marche is stunned quiet]
: "Now that I know what you look like, there'll be no escape!"
[Babus teleports out of the battle]
... Good job, Marche.
... Why? He's perfectly fine, if a little spoiled. If anything, Mewt sort of deserves this fantasy world after what he goes through in real life. I honestly don't see a reason to intervene.
Sigh.
We get some stuff for winning and get a Black Robe as a reward for a rank going up! Black Robes boost the power of the Fire-Ice-Thunder trio of spells, so you can instantly tell which one of our special boys are getting that one.
We also get the Nargai Cave for that, so we'll just plop it here. It's supposedly a cave that leads into an ancient underground city... Something that's honestly really cool but never gets visited in depth due to how this game's plot works.
We also get some pretty flowers, so I guess it wasn't all that bad.
Next time on Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, we clean up Marche's mess! See you then.
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Missions completed: 74 out of 300 (+14)
Freed Areas: 8 (+2)
Team setup:
(Marche, level 15,
,
) - "... Why is everyone staring at me like that?"
(Montblanc, level 14,
,
) - "Oh kupo..." [Montblanc holds both of his hands in front of his face]
(Ardin, level 14,
,
) - "Are we fugitives now?"
(Nobel, level 16,
,
) - "Obvioussssly. It'll take a miracle to come out of thissss unsssscathed."
(Galor, level 15,
,
) - "... I'm starting to have some reservations about our leader."
(Randorf, level 14,
,
) - "Hey, listen, as long as we keep getting stuff like these Black Robes then there's nobody out there that can stop us."
(Sonia, level 15,
,
) - "To be fair, this isn't the first time I've had to be on the run from the law."
(Rodrigo, level 15,
,
) - "Wow, kupo, I didn't know things would get that bad."
[FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, lucida grande, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Chapter 9 (Normal) - Unavoidable Destiny[/FONT][FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, lucida grande, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]
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Spoiler:
Ritz is in trouble? We're on our way.
Meanwhile, we deal with a rooster problem in another part of the country.
So... Ritz and Shara somehow managed to get themselves trapped without the other members of Clan Ritz (yes, there's actually more than just two members) in a dark forest with zombies and evil fairies.
What was that mission like?
They can summon death from above, no wonder Ritz got trapped
But in all seriousness, the fairies have an attack called Meteorite that looks cool but does average damage. It's not really worth worrying about.
(Also, I can't believe I forgot to mention this earlier, but White Wind is a Blue magic spell.)
... You're going to throw money to hurt me? What kind of cockamamie battle plan is this? All that'd really accomplish would be me stealing your wallet.
Oh well, it's not like the zombies or the sprites were any danger. I don't think Shara or Ritz were in any real danger aside from being outnumbered.
Marche is clearly holding back his impulse to ask Ritz help him destroy the world. The last conversation they had is proof enough that they have incompatible goals.
For saving Ritz, she gives us the Topaz Armring. It's supposed to be from Shara and is proof that we're good buddies with Clan Ritz.
Also, it just occured to me now - who is handing out Antilaws at the end of every fight now? Like think about it - we fought monsters in the middle of the woods and the only other people here were Marche's team, Ritz and Shara.
It can't be the judges giving them to you for winning, because that's an extreme Catch 22 with how their job works and how much of a fuss Ezel's made.
So a bunch of teenagers (I assume) are protesting that their friends got captured and you expect us, a trained group of mercenaries, to deal with this in a civil manner.
Good luck with that, Ardin. You might need it.
The mission to save Ulei is to... find a fishing spot first. Alright, whatever.
I'm showing off the Gadgeteer abilities just because Montblanc is learning some now. (It's not because the class is good or anything, it's instead because it teaches Damage > MP. For a mage, that's practically required.)
This is proof that you need to be consistently lucky to get anything out of it. If this Silver Disc hit my allies, everyone on my side would have been blinded. God help you if you're running Gadgeteer and the Red Spring (full-party haste) hits the enemy instead.
"All I did was run in, tell them to knock it off and they left. They were like Moogle kids, so you know."
And he got a medal for that.
Nobel gets the Materia Blade too because yowza just imagine the possibilities.
In order to balance the game a bit, the Ultima abilities cost around 60 MP to use, so yeeesh.
You really have to work for it if you want to learn this, but when you do...
Galor turns into a Floateye and gives this Sprite a nasty staredown. (It is also one of the few monsters who are useless for attacking, so keep that in mind if you want to go full gimmick and start raising your Monster Bank guys.)
Bad Breath in action, and yeeeesh. Galor needs to scrub those robes for at least four days because I can't imagine that going away soon.
... Did I show off Bishop before? Because Nobel is one now and is arguably the most physically imposing one to ever exist.
Last Breath is so good. Despite that, I don't think even this will be the end for this Moogle if this mission coming back up so often is proof.
Either this was a combo or some crazy Black Magic spell, because those are some very nice numbers.
Ahem. The Hero Gaol is a neat little series of sidequests (in a game which is basically The Legend of Sidequest) that are unlocked when you examine the note here.
The first being the Tower Ruins. To give you a short rundown, Gaol and Lini were a legendary duo of a human and a Moogle that went around and did heroic things. Apparently these chapters are supposed to enlighten us on what those deeds were, but I'll get to that when we're actually there.
... Okay, seriously, what the fuck why did it just cut to the epilogue even though we just started doing it?
The thing about the Gaol sidequests is that while we follow the story of the texts, the actual missions we do seem to have zero correlation to the story and are just... there.
Time to go "300" on this Dragon
Haha, that's evil but I love seeing it do so much.
Keep in mind, the 48 was the damage from Ardin's push.
Is the Hero Gaol a commonly told story in Ivalice? That said, why is Montblanc relaying this information? I don't see much purpose behind it.
Cutting over to the epilogue mission (which still makes no sense), we have this group of Moogles that are somehow as weak as beginning enemies. They're supposed to be guarding Lini's grave, but guess what?
Lini is one of the semi-secret characters you can recruit! No, seriously. If you have the Hero Gaol equipped on you when you complete a mission, there's a 1 in 5 chance that you'll encounter him. The fun part? He comes with Ultima Charge pre-learned.
So, you know, if you want to break the game in half earlier than you're supposed to then he's your guy.
Montblanc, you can nuke all of these Moogles by yourself - of course you're worthy. (As tempting as that is, I wouldn't forgive myself for doing a solo run due to how this game works.)
The best part is that you could recruit Lini before this mission is even issued, so you could totally bring him to his grave and have him be like "WTF kupo". (There is no unique dialogue, though, which is a shame)
... Though it begs the question. Is it just someone named after Lini or did he spontaneously return from the dead as some sort of adorable revenant? I don't know, man.
For winning, we get Ayvuir Blue - one of the best blades in the entire game. It may not teach any new abilities but it hits like a steamroller.
What is it with this game and its prejudice against knives? Let me be Dio Brando, damn you
The second chapter takes us to a keep in Aisenfield. Apparently there were thirteen legendary knights in the story that Gaol was a part of, but you know... since it's a side-story in a book, we don't really get any real idea of what this stuff was like.
You know, it could be really cool but instead nah let's just fight some dudes.
... Actually, why did we even come to Aisen Keep ourselves? As far as I'm concerned, Marche and crew just barged into a clan's hideout and beat them up for no reason.
Enough faffing about with stories. We have some illegal logging to crack down on.
... So how is this any less illegal than whatever we do? Even if the laws prevent us from killing people outright, we're still hospitalizing them to the point of retirement. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Cutting things that can fight back might bite you sooner than you expected...
[Current OST: Amber Valley]
(Easily one of the better fight songs in the game. It's up there with Battle of Hope and Beyond the Wasteland)
These are the laws for this fight - keep them in mind because this is gonna turn wacky soon.
This fight is also unique in that seven enemies are here instead of the usual six. It's important to bring up because it actually limits the amount of people we can send out and that's just silly.
One of the more dangerous aspects of enemy Snipers is their ability to break your equipment. Yep, Blade Biters aren't the only kind of unit that can do that. It's especially aggravating in the Snipers' cases because they can do it from a distance.
They are so skilled with a bow and arrow that they can completely undo the work that went into keeping your equipment together. Now that is badass.
Sonia used Rockseal on one of these little bastards, but it wouldn't necessarily be wrong to assume Nobel did it either.
This is what Aim: Armor looks like, so you'd better pray it misses.
So we stopped a bunch of idiots from illegally chopping down some lumber. I'd say things went well.
... This baffles the living hell out of me. How in the world did Montblanc get fined for breaking the Healing law? He's a Black/Time mage through and through! (Aka. he shouldn't be able to heal anybody)
Wait, so... A judge comes to pick up the loggers? So here we have an example of the law system working in a way that's not just "ooh you broke this arbitrary rule, so I'm teleporting you directly to jail motherfucker"? How the hell does the law system work for this crazy-ass country?!
The only logical conclusion I can come to is that Judges are actually corrupt all along and use fights as a way to weed out the people that could be a problem in the future. This stuff? This is what happens when you can't just enforce "no woodcutting tools." That, or battle infidelities are a separate wing of the prison from the people who do illegal things.
Also, I have no idea what happened to the other three. I guess Sonia turned them all to stone and we never got to see them again, which might in fact be a fate worse than death.
[Marche nods and looks at the forest]
"A magic forest... Maybe this has something to do with the crystals too."
Everything is crystals with this kid now. I get it, hard knock life, but you could at least try to enjoy some of it.
For beating that mission we get another flaming sword and an ice robe. Oh, and another Knives law card.
Oooooh, very nice! The Hades Bow is a dark-elemental greatbow that teaches Sidewinder (heavy damage to monsters) and Death Sickle (inflicts Doom). Death Sickle would be higher on the list if it weren't for the fact that Doom takes about three turns before it takes effect and most of the stronger enemies resist Doom, so...
Yeah, it's the thought that counts.
Since that was a plot-related mission, we get to put yet another forest up all the way over here. The Salikawood has a keep deep inside of it, and that's about all I've got.
Ah, so this is where the Caravan Musk comes in. I guess it's only appropriate that we help her.
We're gonna need some ninja speed for this one.
So... there are bandits in Aisenfield? I don't see why that would be a smart thing to do. That'd be like saying "hey our neighborhood is great" while omitting the fact that it's clearly in the middle of a gang war.
"It involved some rope, some tears and uniting a kid with new clothes. I don't know why the client gave me a katana."
"The pretty lady gave me this armor and... the skull of one of her dead pets. Yikes, kupo."
I... yeah, what the hell kind of reward is that?
We caught yet another monster! I think this might be enough for a while.
Randorf snapped his fingers and set everyone on fire, the end. He gets the Morning Star for his troubles - it teaches Magic Power Plus to Alchemists. It's effectively a less powerful version of Turbo MP that doesn't come with the "using twice as much MP" problem, so I guess if you want to conserve your magic then there you go.
The Venus Blade teaches Doublehand, which allows you to wield one-handed weapons with both hands to increase its strength. Sounds cool but isn't really that important at the end of the day.
Hmmmm... Who are we gonna get to perform for a marquis's son's birthday party?
Of course, the Nu Mou with the funny hat.
"Apparently, being able to control the flow of time made an excellent party trick. Everyone loved it."
We get more Thief Armlets along with a White Thread! Great work.
Oh snap! We better get on that.
So yeah, if you catch enough monsters, you get a mission where you have to "capture" a few that got loose.
Hmmmmmmmm. Tough choice, but if we choose "Let go" we fail immediately, so...
Yeah. I would normally feel bad about this if it weren't for the fact that these monsters are obviously terrorizing every town they come across.
... Despite what the mission entailed and what I'm doing right now, you don't actually have to capture any of the monsters. You just have to fight them, but I figured I should get a souvenir for myself while we're here.
That is Blaster in action for you, folks. Just a reminder: Blaster petrifies you if it hits.
Sure, it didn't hit, but it still scared me.
Sidewinder summons this badass energy sword to pierce whatever you're aiming at, plus 98 damage is actually really good for a ranged attack at this stage of the game.
You know, after brutally attacking them and stuff. Good job, Marche.
Oh screw it, let's just hop straight into the next story mission. Just prepare yourselves for what's gonna come up.
[Current OST: Confusion]
"I wonder if it's one of those crystals?"
Marche, please.
???: "You here looking for the emerald too?"
"Wham! In come the clans like a pack of hyenas!"
I like that analogy, actually.
The pressure's on. What will Marche say?
Attaboy, Marche. You're thinking smart by not revealing your --
Boy, you absolute dumb fuck. Like really?
The man directly states that he's Mewt's personal guardian aside from his father and mother, on top of being a high-ranking member of the royal family and Marche up and states that he's the one who's causing harm to Mewt's fantasy world.
Right in front of Babus's face.
Marche, just... shut up. This is where I think things start to take a nosedive towards "what is wrong with you" territory.
[Current OST: Unavoidable Destiny]
Christ, where do I even begin with what went wrong there.
Everything was fine until Marche opened his stupid mouth and spilled the beans when he clearly didn't need to. Like... it would make more sense if Babus didn't announce that he was Mewt's personal caretaker or if the palace found out about Marche breaking the crystals by catching him in the act or something, but... this?
This is so contrived and stupid that I can't help but be like "that's really what we're going with? Really?".
Marche announcing all of this stuff to Babus, especially the bits where this world wasn't meant to exist, is like asking for a death wish. It's honestly impressive how much brain cells he had to lose to even consider this going down well.
Ech. Anyway, here's a Gunner with Concentrate of all abilities. All of his shots are guaranteed to hit, but it's not like it matters much.
36 / 20 / 92 / 97 / 84 / 72 / 86
Templars are an interesting Bangaa class in that they're almost a jack-of-all-trades when it comes to equipment and have all sorts of fancy support magic. They can use Cheer to improve their attacks, cast Haste, and get the vastly important Attack Plus support ability.
Unfortunately, that's all they're really good for as their speed is pretty awful and they don't learn any outstanding offensive skills aside from one skill that lets them hit an enemy harder the more health they've lost.
30 / 28 / 72 / 68 / 88 / 76 / 88
As I've (probably) said before, Bishops are the only magical class the Bangaa have access to. As you can see, they're... not that great at being mages. To make up for this, Bishops come with magic that most of the normal mage classes can't learn and three completely unique spells - Break, Holy and Judge.
Holy is the standard "blow things up with light" move that, to be honest, is better used by Paladins as Holy Blade. Break petrifies and Judge allows them to steal JP from other opponents. Neat gimmick class, but you're far better off sticking with the Bangaa bread and butter.
35 / 60 / 83 / 50 / 88 / 61 / 105
Then we get to Babus himself who is rocking some incredibly valuable equipment (That we'll come back for in the future, by the way) and a unique class of his own: Runeseeker.
You see, Babus can't change into other jobs because of gameplay restrictions but at least he can kill things while in it. Explode is a more powerful Mega Flare with a fancier animation while Stillness is Stop with three sprites instead of just the one.
So, you know, that's rad. He's also a faster, more-balanced-in-everything unit than most of the other Nu Mou, I noticed.
"What did you mean?"
Okay, even if he's right on this, he's still in the fantasy world where everything that happens to him is very real and things have consequences. The only reason Marche succeeds is because he's the protagonist and therefore has Adamantium-level plot armor.
I KNOW, RIGHT
Even if it is, there's no reason to announce it to the people who can stop you from reaching the crystals... Who are also the primary authority in the land.
How dense are you, dude? Fuck, are you that incapable of playing along even just for what might be at risk for you and your clan?
Babus, fueled with rage, blows up our party members.
Unfortunately for him, it goes down as well as you expect. Beating Babus is also the key to winning the mission - the other people in the back don't count.
Bam.
I'm still mad at you, Marche.
"Whatever the reason, the prince wants you dealt with. You cause him pain, and that is real enough for me!"
[Marche is stunned quiet]
[Babus teleports out of the battle]
... Good job, Marche.
... Why? He's perfectly fine, if a little spoiled. If anything, Mewt sort of deserves this fantasy world after what he goes through in real life. I honestly don't see a reason to intervene.
Sigh.
We get some stuff for winning and get a Black Robe as a reward for a rank going up! Black Robes boost the power of the Fire-Ice-Thunder trio of spells, so you can instantly tell which one of our special boys are getting that one.
We also get the Nargai Cave for that, so we'll just plop it here. It's supposedly a cave that leads into an ancient underground city... Something that's honestly really cool but never gets visited in depth due to how this game's plot works.
We also get some pretty flowers, so I guess it wasn't all that bad.
Next time on Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, we clean up Marche's mess! See you then.
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Missions completed: 74 out of 300 (+14)
Freed Areas: 8 (+2)
Team setup: