Rainbow Chara X
Impossible to gauge!
- 129
- Posts
- 9
- Years
- Shiny Hunting in Sinnoh
- Seen May 12, 2025
Wow, um. This is where the game starts getting serious. I'm warning you now.
Chapter 18 - Witch Hunt
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After a long period of staring at pixellated clouds, I've realized something.
It turns out that Cutlerine actually did made Snakewood as an angsty teenager over the course of several years. At the age of fifteen or so (I dunno), he had gotten the urge to do some Rom hacking after playing Pokemon Quartz. In hindsight, my remark about him being a "super-edgy "hardcore" teenager" had more merit to it than I thought.
Everything about Snakewood was not meant to be a coherent story - it's all nonsense that he threw in just for the sake of hacking and it was never meant to be taken seriously. He himself states that he doesn't know how the zombie apocalypse thing mixed in with this and regrets many of the design decisions that he's made for the hack.
(Future Dan Says: Keep this in mind because I forget it myself until the very end.)
He doesn't even have a backstory for our main protagonist and urges the player to think of something. I suppose Jack the character can become a reality now with this information.
Cutlerine also states that he hates the formulaic plotline of the main Pokemon games - "defeat eight gym leaders, beat up some bad guys, take on the elite four, the end." Which I sort of agree with, to be honest. After reading the reddit this came from, I forgive him for some of the more technical bullshit we've seen on this adventure.
(The good graphics =/= good game thing is still an argument that doesn't sit well with me, though. Not that I don't agree that you can have a good game without amazing graphics, but the game itself has to be good enough to warrant it. And you have to realize there's a level of atmosphere that you're missing out on by making the graphics intentionally horrible. That, and the bullshit on Mt. Pyre is still pretty bad.)
Oh right, we're actually playing the game.
I don't think this is what he meant by warming up.
Oh boy, I just remembered. Tohru has Guts, so that paralyze actually gave him a tremendous boost. This will not end well for that poor Luxray.
Welp, that's more money to add onto the pile. We've never had money problems this entire game and it's not stopping any time soon.
: "Uh... yeah?"
Witch Doctor: "Right! Then I'll heal you, then!"
Oh see, cause she's a Witch Doctor. I'm not laughing.
By the way, I've noticed a weird glitch when you get healed and the screen fades to black. You can keep making the screen darker and darker until it becomes pitch black. It goes away when you get into a battle, but damn is it cool.
... I have no idea what this is referencing and I don't care.
Yes, the Witches are indeed based off of the Left 4 Dead kind. They're still zombies but... eeeeeh.
She had a Solrock and a Lunatone that Ace smashed into pieces, the end. Interesting thing is that if you give either of them a Moon Stone, they evolve into something called GALACTIMON. I swear.
Oh damn, I wasn't prepared for a mythology lesson.
Essentially, Circe is a minor goddess of magic in Greek Mythology known best for her role in Homer's Odyessy - basically, she poisoned some dudes by lacing their food with a potion that turned them into pigs. In other words, a horribly obscure reference.
Oh hey, variety. Too bad Jeanne roasts it into barbeque cinders.
GORELAX, WE MEET AGAIN
This one is just as annoying as the one before, so be prepared if you're coming this way. I think this one caught me more off guard than the other one because I wasn't expecting a random witch to have a zombie Pokemon as annoying as Gorelax.
That was one Body Slam! Tohru keeps getting screwed by these, I swear.
Thankfully, we manage to kill it without much resistance.
I know this is a reference to a movie or something, but technically she is dead for real now.
"This witch is wicked. Damn wicked. She also shrieks like an Easterner."
The Blair Witch is here?!
She was merely a figment of our imagination. And the codifier of all found footage movies.
You know, I didn't expect it to become an actual witch hunt. Christ.
The Maybe Witch, huh? Well, I guess she doesn't look too bad after all.
Okay, she's not so innocent if she has a Gengar ready to fuck us up.
I... don't know how to feel about this? Other than Bellamine nearly died and I don't feel bad for the Maybe Witch as a result.
Where are you going with this, game?
Oh thank goodness. Still, that's hella dumb.
Since I have no ingenious commentary / synonyms for the word burn at the moment, I should probably mention that all of the Sand Witch's Pokemon are ground type. Cutlerine really liked being a master of double meanings, didn't he?
In retrospect, I'm glad I didn't bring a Water type so everybody else can participate. Trust me, I need it for the thing that's coming up in Chapter 19.
I know this game wasn't "supposed to be taken seriously", but god damn this is so silly. I can't. I just can't.
I love how he says that like "I've been waiting for you? Maybe?" The question mark makes it perfect. Also, at this point, the save for this part in particular just read "NO MORE WITCHES, DAMN" - which should tell you how done I was playing at the time. (By the way, I have like three folders just for the saves of Chapter 17, 18 and 19. Just saying.)
Future Dan: Ahahaha. That's nothing compared to the mountain of FFTA saves you had while waiting for Dark Rising 2 to finish.
-
: "Why?"
Dr. Blackthorn: "I've got a present for you. This Astral Lens ought to help you get further on your journey. It can see through magic."
So he pretty much gave us the Lens of Truth from Ocarina of Time.
: "And I need this because...?"
Jack, don't be rude. It was a gift.
Dr. Blackthorn: "You're surrounded by witches. Trust me, you will need it soon. Well, goodbye.
[The good doctor flies away on a Pokemon]
He might not be as bad as I thought he was.
For now though, let's go get some more useless Nest Balls and jump into the cave to the south.
Nice. By the way, it's raining inside of the cave? How the hell does that work?
Snakewood logic.
Funny thing. Valor, despite the fact that his signature "fuck off" move right now is Slash, cannot learn CUT. Does that make sense to anybody in the audience?
"She's an angel witch! You're an angel witch! Oh. Wait. Got a bit carried away there."
These references are getting crazier and crazier.
At this point I can't help but imagine Cutlerine yelling out loud through an interstellar microphone just to narrate these. It's too wacky at this point.
She had a Gardevoir too. You know, from the other side, Gardevoir are goddamn annoying to deal with. The witches also love to spam the shit out of restoration items such as Aconite Juice (another Full Heal item), Full Restores and so on. Due to how predictably they use items, however, it makes them easy to manipulate.
Still though, I really want to get Umbra out of storage already.
: "No, fight me."
Straight and to the point today, aren't we?
Hey, they got their Pokemon up to a respectable level. Still not a threat even if they have the BAMF known as Metagross on their side.
Benedict gained 20 levels just from sticking around on this adventure.
It also tried to learn Water Spout, which is much like Eruption in that it does more damage the more health you have. Water Spout belonged to Wailord, so I'm very disturbed as to what could be coming out of Benedict.
"Great! You're a million times more powerful than the last time we fought you. Want to join the army? No? Okay, okay. How about giving us something for our report instead, then? A nice little quote would hit the spot perfectly."
I think that's all that has to be said.
"It revealed a hidden witch!"
Well, the item Dr. Blackthorn gave us fulfilled its purpose immediately. Almost makes me question why this sequence was thrown in. You could say the same thing for the Kecleon reveal in the original game but that actually had a purpose in introducing new Pokemon and it already blocked the way to the gym before we were given the Devon Scope, so...
This one's just "The Witch" like she's some hot shot. BURN HER, JEANNE!
Oh wait, Benedict was the one that finished her off. That's a good alien monster egg.
Thank god, some sanctuary. I mean, the random medical kits are cool and all but I need an actual place to stay at.
"You stink of rotting meat... You must be strong to have overcome all of those zombies..."
Oh god, I never factored what Jack must smell like after everything we did. He has to smell like swamp ass at this point.
But hey, let's go to the local store and buy some things.
... Uh? Did we confuse the store for a pet shop? As far as I'm concerned, these animals wind up being part of a trade to get Pokemon but for now they're storage fuel.
By the way, the person running the counter is not a Hex Maniac or Pestilence. It is in fact a man by the name of Count D, presumably Dracula, but I can think of another way to take that name. (I am kind of sad it's not a Hex Maniac, though - hex waifu is best waifu)
"This city is easy to defend. There's only one ladder in, and zombies can't climb."
Why are we scared of the zombies again? They're afraid of water and sand in a region defined by water and sand, the hulk ones are surprisingly easy to beat and they can't climb.
"My son used to send messages to his girlfriend by Wingull... Now she's dead, and all Wingull carries are military documents. But my son hides his grief so not as to cause me pain... Is that right?"
Awww, that's kind of sad really.
"Why does it have a heart-shaped sticker on it? You don't look like a heart-sticker type of person."
Oh shit, I just realized we're still using May's Pokedex. Must be pretty embarassing for Jack, all things considered.
"Where did all of the strong Trainers go? Steven Stone, Landon, Wally, the Elite Four... What zombies could have possibly defeated them?"
I have one answer for you: they got sucked up into the tornado of bullshit. That, or they escaped into the Hoenn remakes.
Seriously though, I don't think we ever get an answer. They, despite their incredible strength, just get eaten by zombies offscreen (except for Landon) and that's the end of their story.
Eyyyyyyyyyyyy, it's my buddy!
I... don't think this was changed from the original game? Someone correct me on this?
"This might just be the last living Marill in Hoenn... Her name is Petula Punkledunk."
: "What?"
Old Woman: "I know, I know. But my niece named her, and she has strange tastes..."
^ Cutlerine in general.
"If any zombies manage to get up here, they'll have to get past my Ziggy first!"
: ("She's clearly deluded... That raccoon would get stomped flat in a few seconds. I mean, even Zagon would have trouble with the zombies around here and she's one of the tougher ones.")
"Veracity is technically our Gym Leader right now, as head of the Honda clan, but... he's forbidden anyone to go into the gym."
... Huh. Strange. I'd like to meet this "Veracity" at the very least. Let's see what happens when we try to go to the gym.
"Veracity told us to ward everyone away."
Damn it, he was serious about the "stay away" thing. I should probably mention that even the guards are scared of Veracity and they're doing this so they don't get him angry.
Let's make our way to the south, then.
Birch decides to call us after all of this time? Well, alright, what does he have to say?
: "Hey! Long time, no speak! Where are you?"
"Fortree. The zombies are getting tougher... I thought I could use some extra strength from the Gym."
: "Fortree? What a coincidence! I just recieved a call via the PC from Fortree. It was from the University."
: "Oh, yeah?"
: "Yeah. Apparently, they have a sort of witch-related problem."
I can imagine Jack saying this with the most
face ever.
: "What? That's slightly disappointing. I like giving missions... Oh well. There's something else I want you to look into there, too."
: "And that is?"
"Gym Leader Veracity. Since his sister Winona was taken by the zombies, he's become a little... eccentric."
... Winona's dead?
: "He's gone insane?"
: "Well... yes. Just look into it and make sure everyone's okay, alright?"
: "Of course. See ya, Birch."
^ the above line was edited because it was originally "Sure! See ya" which is way too cheery for this situation.
Anyway, Birch hangs up and now we're free to go into the large imposing building that's suddenly here now.
Looks really cool for something made out of scratch.
The inside isn't half bad either! It's an original building yet it looks pretty damn cool. This is the Hoenn University of Film, and in my honest opinion it's one of the best new places in the entire hack. I have to give massive props to Cutlerine for making this place look as nice as it did.
"This University is very prestigious. It's the best in Hoenn. Also, the only university in Hoenn."
It makes me curious just what was with the sudden spikes in quality with the game. Like right now we had just gotten off of the stupid shit on Mt. Pyre and all of the Witches, yet as far as I'm concerned, there's nothing overly stupid in the University.
Is Cutlerine blowing smoke out of his ass when he said he wanted Snakewood to be nonsensical? I don't know and probably won't know even by the end of this game.
The Soma replaces the Mystic Water as the item that boosts Water-type moves. At the time I didn't think much of it, but with the presence of both this and the Rain Dance TM, I should have really trained up a proper Water type Pokemon.
Future Dan: The Soma? What an odd way to foreshadow LP #2.
"Welcome to the University! Feel free to look around and consider further education in the fascinating field of film-making!"
She's not kidding, either. Once we meet up with some Film Students, they tell us some nice stuff about actual film techniques.
"Me and my girlfriend here are going to make it big in the world of experimental theatre!"
: "How is that possible?! You're deluded!"
After battle:
"We will triumph! Just you wait and see! In a few years' time, every cinema from here to Kahuto will be showing films by Zachary Quince starring Alexis Heart!"
I agree with Jack. I mean, it's a silly thing to fight about, but the guy sounds super desperate regardless.
Tilly: "No! I'm not Nurse Joy! Why does everyone keep mistaking me for her!"
: "I'm sorry, you just--"
Tilly: "What, you want me to heal your Pokemon for you? Huh? Huh?"
: "Well, if --"
Tilly: "Well, I'll do that! Here!"
: "Uh... yes?"
Man, Tilly sure is a tsundere nurse. I think I like her a bit more because of that.
... Godot. Is this a reference to Ace Attorney of all things?
I'm surprised that didn't come up during the murder mystery section of all things.
But hey, a PC! Thank god, we can finally switch the team around freely.
Umbra, say hello to The Crew. Ace, you stay behind with the others.
: ("Alright, I'll do just that. See you later, Jack. Take care, new guy.")
: ("Ah, you must be the Ace everybody's talking about. Don't worry, I'll be fine.")
Rad. Now, let's make our way into the stairs ahead.
: "Oh crap, sorry man. Wait, why are you fighting me?!"
He has a Weavile. I remember when that was Alicia's special Pokemon, but now every Dark-type user and their grandmother has one.
He does have a Blissey though. Blissey are so cute, even if their Defense is absolutely horrible.
Well, I'm sorry lady but --
(Whitney? Is that you?)
Funny thing is that you didn't need to fight her. You could have skipped her entirely just by not talking to her... which is a pretty cool idea, to be honest.
Anyway, let's see what she has.
OH DEAR SWEET MOSES
Milotic here is insane. Not only is she 11 levels above Umbra, but Milotic is now
/
. It's a typing that I wish real Milotic had, mostly because it's kind of a neat idea.
The worst part about it is despite being a Dark type, Umbra's Bite doesn't do much despite it being super-effective. See, Dark is counted as Special in Gen 3 and Umbra is a Physical attacker - so thank the Pokemon Team for the Physical/Special split in later generations.
We manage to take her down with relative ease thanks to Swords Dance, Slash, and the power of miracles.
Are you ready for this next Pokemon, though? It's going to blow your mind.
HOM-BEAST!
It grew a tinier claw. THAT MEANS IT'S A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT POKEMON!
Seriously though, what the hell. How does this constitute as an evolution? It's pretty bad.
With that said though, I'm not going to proceed in the University for the rest of this. It's pretty late into the episode and there's things I want to show off later, so the only thing I can do now is GRINDING!
Alright, guys. This is the magic moment. Just what is Benedict going to evolve into?
...
YEAH, WE'RE DOING IT!
To be honest, though, we're not quite done yet. There's still that Leaf Stone we had back in our inventory...
YEEEAAAH BOI
Our Benedict has finally grown into a Celebi. Wunderbar!
Now that she's not a Hyperegg anymore, she needs a new name. Her name will be... Chloris. Well, that's what it will be when we finally get back to the Name Rater in Slateport. (stupid crusty old men - why can't I freely nickname my Pokemon?)
Benedict/Chloris will have to wait in the PC for now, though.
: ("As you wish, Jack. I need everybody to familiarize themselves with the new me anyway.")
Letro... your time to shine has finally come as well. Prepare yourself.
: ("EXCELLENT, JACK. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY EVER SINCE I FIRST JOINED THIS TEAM. BZZZT!")
Next time on Pokemon Snakewood, we're going to explore the University some more and do some heavy-duty grinding. See you then.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team setup:
(Bellamine,
, Level 38,
) - "I'm quite enjoying this University. It's very homey, especially compared to many of the other places we've been to. Also, Benedict's finally hatched into a cute little Celebi!"
(Jeanne,
, Level 41,
) - "Hear, hear. Although I'm not fond of the Milotic these actresses carry around... They seem like the snooty type."
(Valor,
, Level 39, has Plus Band,
) - "I wonder if I could be in movies. Probably as an action star."
(Letro, level 15,
/
) - Is currently training with Jack
(Umbra,
, Level 38,
) - "Hmm. I sense evil everywhere. There seems to be at least three sources, with two of them hiding in the University itself. I'd be wary if I were you, Jack...")
(Tohru,
, Level 42,
/
) - "Wahahah! Benedict turned out to be quite the fine lass! I'd be happy to teach her a thing or two about fighting."
-----------------------------------------------------
Back-up Team:
(Reggie,
, Level 33, has Leftovers,
/
) - "Eyyyyy, Benedict! How're ya feelin' now that you're finally a Celebi?"
(Zagon,
, Level 33,
) - Is happy that Benedict evolved
(Alice,
, level 12,
) - "Nyaaa~ Benedict's not an egg anymore! I guess there's hope for us in storage after all!"
(Krusha,
, level 12,
/
) - "It looks pretty dangerous out there..."
(Ballin,
, level 14,
/
) - "Oh snap, Benedict turned into a Celebi! And hey, Ace is back!"
(Pumbloom,
, level 14,
) - "... Ooooh!" * Pumbloom edges up to Benedict *
(Ace,
, Level 39, has Anadrin Talon,
/
) - "Godspeed, Valor. I'll be with you in spirit."
(Benedict,
, level 43,
/
) - "Hi, everybody! Aww, it's nice to meet all of you too. I mean, now that I've finally grown up."
(Cherry,
, level 12,
/
) - Stares at Benedict blankly
(Beatrice,
, Level 26,
/
) - [Takes a nap only to get spooked awake by Juno] "Oh, I'll get you for that!~
"
(Ambes,
, Level 30,
) - "Yo, did... Did Benedict evolve into a Celebi? How's that possible?! It's cool, though!"
(Shine,
, level 12,
) - "Wow! Everything's changing so fast around here..."
(Spark,
, level 12,
) - "You said it, sis. I'm curious as to what's going to happen from now on..."
(Juno,
, Level 38,
) - "Haha! You'll have to catch me, flower girl!"
(Helmaroc,
, Level 40,
/
) - "So the egg evolved into a Celebi. Interesting."
(Menti,
, level 37,
/
) - "What's going on... in the box over? It sounds like they're having fun..." [hacks up blood]
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Same goes for this one.
Chapter 19 - Like a Roaring Flame
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Hmmm. Change of plans.
Letro, I'm glad you've evolved into Magneton... yet I feel like there's a certain someone that can utilize the Thunderstone to greater effect.
; ("I UNDERSTAND, JACK. DO AS YOU MUST. I'LL JUST BE GOING BACK INTO THE BOX.")
Ambes, welcome back.
: ("Whoa, for real? I... I'm ready, I suppose.")
[One grinding session later]
Alright. This is it. You ready, Ambes?
: ("Oooh boy... Yes. Let's get this over with.")
: ("W-whoa! I'm a Raichu now! Thank you, Jack! I'll do my best to help!")
We have my friend, The Composer, to thank for making these wonderful Raichu portraits for Ambes.
These two get new moves, but I don't think I ever use them. Well, Dig's a free Escape Rope so that's well and good.
Future Dan: Dude! You just handed Bellamine one of her other not-Psychic signature moves!
Let's go into this room. These are supposed to be studios, by the way, so let's go bug some actors.
Well, there's a dude fighting against a dragon. We must have invaded... every fantasy movie ever.
"What are you doing, interrupting our shoot like this? Actually, I don't want explanations - I want your blood!"
Jesus dude, calm the fuck down.
Jared here has a Gigawolf of all things. Every battle here will be dangerous as they're all high levels, which answers my question as to why the University is still safe - everybody that lives in the University is stronger than the Gym Leaders!
These guys are really hardcore about film-making.
"Fine, wander around, but don't get in our way!"
Oooh, this is gonna be fun.
"I, the Trainer Knight, shall defeat thee, foul monster!"
Riveting commentary. Seriously though, everybody tells Jack to buzz off because they're in the middle of shooting a movie - which I can't blame them for.
This movie sounds hella cheesy, though.
"This dragon costume is so hot... but don't interrupt our film!"
I feel bad for the people that stuff themselves into full-body suits like this because the heat inside must be unbelievable. Especially if it's humid.
"This TM... It's a Dark move, but I don't really have enough Pokemon to make it worthwhile. You have lots of Pokemon, right? You can use it!"
Ah. That's... cool, I guess. Also, the caption is absolutely perfect.
The only time I remember Beat Up ever being used efficiently was when an opponent's Whimsicott used it on a Justified Terrakion during a Doubles match. Things got nasty for poor old Dan that day in Pokemon Showdown.
Skipping to the next studio over, it appears we've walked into a sci-fi movie.
I think we have to do this to progress the plot regardless. Besides, what are you gonna do, son?
Good answer.
I cannot trust anybody else to do this efficiently.
AND THIS IS WHY!
DEAR LORD, LOOK AT JEANNE'S HEALTH!
She's literally one point away from dying and poisoned to boot! Poor girl must be suffering beyond any form of comprehension. Thank the lord this is not a Nuzlocke, otherwise Jeanne's death would have made me quit the game for good.
Yeah, you're telling me. Full Restores are godlike.
"Uh... So yeah, this puts me in an awkward situation... I guess you can stay and watch if you really have to."
Don't these guys have something called "re-takes"? I can understand being mad at Jack, though.
"A kid? Go away! I'm busy, and you're blocking the cameras!"
Are these guys making a movie about the zombie virus in Hoenn? Cause that would be some meta shit.
Sand Cloak is just Bright Powder under a different name. Bright Powder just being a held item that makes it so enemy attacks miss more often. Sounds pretty neat.
"I don't have to be on set for another twenty minutes... Want to battle?"
Oh yeah, and watch out for this lady if you hadn't gone to heal up your team.
She has the standard for Actresses around here. Hombeast is still a joke to me no matter how high its attack is.
Fun fact, Hombeast has Guillotine of all moves - which actually hit Tohru multiple times in practice.
This may not be a Nuzlocke, but when you get hit by stuff like that, that's certain death. Hence why I don't count it as canon.
Take note of this line and keep it in mind when we actually go to fight Veracity. She's not kidding about him being good.
Ooooh, a horror movie set!
: "Well, I'm sorry man, it was a misunderstand--"
Yeah no, that's not going to work, Jack.
Crystal Storm is supposedly a
version of Hyper Beam, considering how Ambes was barely scratched by it and the fact the Sableye had to recharge afterward.
These guys all have really intimidating Pokemon that just get putzed out of existence by Tohru's fists. Why can't we have Luxrays, Weaviles, and all of this other stuff? Shinx is like one of my favorite electric types yet we never run into one in the wild!
"... It was a mistake? Okay, I guess you can stay here if you like. I mean, filming is pretty interesting."
I like how the horror film guy is the chillest out of all of them.
: "Well, sorry for bothering you, lady."
: "Yeah, sure."
"... It just says 'Run up and down and scream a lot...'"
Genius.
It's one of those kinds of horror movies. Watch the entire audience void their bowels when it gets made regardless.
Oh hey, something actually related to plot!
"They say they're making an experimental kind of camera down in the basement... Will it put us out of a job?"
Ominous foreshadowing there. Because of this, said camera will become relevant in... 10 minutes.
"You can't really do that, you know - you have to go get a visitor's pass from Godot. I think I last saw him in the classrooms, which are to the right."
At least this guy tells us where to go. This university's huge, especially when compared to other places in the Pokemon universe.
This is where the classrooms are at. Let's go into the room to our left.
"At many points during your journey you've smelled the odor of death, but it's never boded well. Since that same odor is coming up these stairs, you decide to steer clear of them."
Intimidating, to say the least. I'll give Cutlerine slack for this one; It's stopping you from accidentally running into the boss of this area without preparation.
"This is Film Theory class. We're learning about... well, about Film Theory."
Oh yeah, this is what I meant when I said the guys here would teach us about stuff. Let's see what they have to say, shall we?
"Of all special effects, the Praxis Effect is definitely the best, don't you think?"
To the uninformed, the Praxis Effect is a big shockwave that happens in sci-fi movies like when a planet blows up.
Like so.
: "Hell yeah!"
: "Sure, man."
Film Student: "Empathetic sound matches the film, like something by NELL played over a depressing scene. The opposite is anempathic sound - like the happy music played in the intensely frustrating Inquisition Boardroom."
I'm genuinely intrigued by this because we'll be doing the same soon enough in the LP proper. Also, way to malice the fourth wall with a shoehorn, Cutlerine.
There was also a guy who talked about Double Abyss Structure, which I unfortunately forgot to screencap:
"It's where you see everything as the characters do. Like when it's dark in a film and you can't see anything either. Interesting, huh?"
I didn't expect this rom hack of all things to teach me these things. But it's definitely appreciated nonetheless.
"This is Actress class. We're learning how to be pathetic shadows of real people."
"I've heard of a Pokemon that steals guns from corpses on the battlefield... Is that true?"
Uh? As far as I'm concerned, there is no such Pokemon. I don't think even in Snakewood there's a Fakemon that fits that description.
"We're all waiting for him, so class can begin. I think maybe he went to the dorms."
Okay, more backtracking. Let's go back to the lobby and go through the middle entrance.
The dorms have the Oldale theme for some reason. Not that it bothers me - in fact the opposite because I love the music in this game.
Oh come on, this is the way to plot. You can't stop Jack from getting this over with.
Level 50?!
On the page in Pokecommunity where Cutlerine put up the rom hack, he said the hack would be "slightly more difficult" than normal. I suppose that's fine if you spell "slightly" like this.
: ("I actually beat the Milotic?! How?!")
; ("Oh well, I'm not complaining. That was pretty beast.")
You have no idea the surprise I had when Ambes took her down with just three Thunderbolts. When it happened, my jaw hit the floor something fierce because I didn't expect him to have won that easily.
: "Oh come on, flattery will get you nowhere."
: "That's nice. Have you seen Godot?"
Film Student: "He's in here. Since you're cool, you can go in."
Sweet. I was expecting a fight but this is a far better sequence of events.
Before we actually go into the room Godot is in, let's search this part first.
Actress: "No. Get away from me, film student freak!"
Narration: "You think about explaining the difference between nymphomaniac Film Students and normal guys, but give it up as a lost cause."
Sage advice. Don't try to go into the stairs next to her either, because it'll just give you a message of "dude there's an entire room of people like the actress to your left, it's a bad idea". So let's pilfer the TM instead.
Finally, something practical! Since Ghost is Physical in Gen 3, Bellamine doesn't get it. (Which you have to admit is a giant mindfuck for the supernatural and spirits to be physical of all things - thank god for the Physical/Special split in Gen 4 onwards.)
So Umbra gets it. He'll surely be able to use it to greater effect thanks to Swords Dance.
"My bed is full of smuggled Emolga from Unova... You didn't hear me say that! And there's nothing there anyway! ... You didn't believe me, no? Um... Here! Take one, but don't tell anybody!"
Oh right, the original draft of Snakewood was published in 2010... back when Black and White weren't even released to the US yet, I think.
The patch I'm currently playing is from 2013. I find it hilarious that Pokestar Studios was made 2 years after this rom hack with the Film University in it.
[Lets out a Groudon cry]
WHAT THE FUCK? This little flying squirrel has the most butch cry I've ever heard in my life!
The fact it replaced Groudon's slate aside, Emolga here isn't very special. I don't think he's going to be a part of the crew.
: "I think this joke has been laboured enough. Can I just get a visitor's pass so I can go and see Veracity, please?"
Godot: "Oh? Why do you need to see him?"
: "I've been sent here to check that everything is okay in this town. That includes Veracity."
Godot: "Intriguing. Such a great task for one so young. Very well, here's your pass."
I was expecting that to be much harder and more bullshit. Thankfully, it was not.
Godot: "Well, I don't want to keep my students waiting. I'd best be off."
[Fade to black, followed by Godot disappearing]
"Was this whole quest just an excuse for a stupid, overlong joke about Waiting for Godot? I hope not, if only for the sanity of this region..."
Ah, so that's what the reference with Godot's name was. It would make sense that Cutlerine would put in a reference to an absurdist play in a rom hack like this.
Anyway, let's go to the room on the far left in the lobby. It holds the way to Veracity's office.
Every door but the correct one will say this, by the way. Of course, the correct one has a big poster saying "VERACITY'S OFFICE" like it needed to be more obvious.
Oh, he's definitely related to Winona. They have a striking resemblance. (cough)
: "I'm Jack. Professor Birch sent me to see if everything's okay here."
: "How timely! You see, everything is in fact NOT okay here."
: "What's happened?"
: "In the basement, our researchers were working on an experimental camera that can make an entire film by itself."
: "Doesn't that render film-makers and thus yourself obsolete?"
: "I wish I thought of that earlier... Anyway, the point is that the camera is too intelligent, and has begun slaughtering researchers. This is unacceptable, so could you go and stop it please?"
Oooh, a terminator camera! While killing researchers is awful, we need to snatch this bad boy for ourselves.
"Do you always ask complete strangers to fight homicidal robots for you?"
: "Well, you look strong... And to get here from Birch, you must be powerful..."
That's true. I mean look at how far our journey has taken us since the ruins of Littleroot.
Anyway, let's make our way down to the basement.
: ("...! Jack, watch out! This is one of the forces I sensed back in the lobby!")
[Theme I would use for the X32763 Camera: Rangda Bangda W theme]
This thing is one of my favorite Fakemon in the entire game. The X32763 Camera is exactly what everybody claimed it would be - it's intelligent and strong enough to rip through the team that isn't Ambes. Plus, its backstory is one of my favorites - it's a top secret camera that grew out of control and planned to murder everything in its path terminator style.
It is also nefariously hard to catch, as I had to retry multiple times just to get it with Ultra Balls. Jeanne is also the only person on the team that is capable of harming it to a significant degree, thanks to it being part
type.
After a million Ultra Balls and some moderate injuries later, we finally manage to catch the evil camera.
"Little is known about this artificially created Pokemon, as the project was kept top secret. However, it is known to be incredibly powerful."
Damn straight.
Since X32673 is a mouthful, let's just call you Alpha instead.
SWEET CHRIST ALMIGHTY
Look at those stats! No wonder why Jeanne brought him to half health, look at the abysmal special defense he has.
But seriously though, Alpha is a powerhouse. Data Steam is his signature move - the animation for it is Lock-On, so it must be shooting off like a super electric bomb or something. (Which also has +1 priority if I'm not mistaken. That sir, is uh... busted.)
Alpha also has Levitate, which not only is super beneficial for his Ground type weakness but it also makes sense as he's stuck to the ceiling. It gets weird when we're outside or when the ceiling is too high to be plausible, though.
However, we don't need a fancy uber Fakemon to beat this part of the game. Ambes, take the Electric Honey instead. Don't eat it, though.
: ("Thanks, Jack. I'll try to resist.")
"Okay... So I've beaten that evil camera. Do I get a reward?"
: "A... reward?"
: "Most people have rewarded me on my journey so far."
: "Well, I won't! Now, if you excuse me, I need to attend to the Gym I inherited from my s-sister..."
Wow, what a dick. He doesn't have an inkling of gratitude.
Let's go sneak after him. But first...
Helmaroc, I require your assistance!
: "Haha! I was waiting for this. Don't disappoint me, boy."
Guard 2: "Hey, it is!"
Guard 1: "A Witch attack? We'd better go help Veracity!"
[The guards disappear]
... Wait. Didn't we kill all of the Witches? The timing of this is very suspicious.
Let's go inside now that they're gone, though.
[Theme I would use for this pre-boss encounter: Magic Flute]
Is that...?
"The zombie is chained up."
: "This zombie... There's something familiar about her."
[White flash]
[White flash]
Winona: "Landon, your Swellow seems less well-trained than the rest of your Pokemon... What do you have against Flying-types?"
[White flash]
: "This... this is... Winona?"
: "Zuuuuuughhh! Wuhnga!"
: "Even a Gym Leader... Winona, I'll put you out of your misery!"
[Theme I would use for this encounter: Escape from the Void]
Oh god, we're doing this. The first time I saw this happen, my heart was shattered. Like... Winona was actually one of my favorite Hoenn gym leaders. And now she's a zombie ready to claw my face off. I'm also a bit disturbed by how different she looks compared to other zombies - like she got fucked up something fierce.
The first Pokemon she has is a Dirtkrow that gets fodderized by Raichu Ambes's Thunderbolt.
Her second mon, on the other hand, is much more of a threat. See, this Grim Reaper Scyther here is fast enough to outspeed Ambes and comes equipped with Earthquake to ruin whatever electric type you happen to bring with you that isn't the super cheap Camera fakemon.
However, Helmaroc throws some rocks her way and squishes her with zero effort. I feel bad for the person who didn't grind or catch the super tough plot-related Mons Cutlerine provided.
Iron Reaper, despite being the evolution, was far easier to deal with as one hit from Jeanne's Flamethrower killed them instantly.
NO, YOU CAN'T BE
What the hell, Cutlerine?! You can't be serious! Throwing a legendary like Lugia at us? I know the Camera was designed to kill this thing, but bringing this thing here makes absolutely no sense. The challenge of this rom hack should not be pitting high-level ubers against each other!
Future Dan: It's adorable how pure you are. You're blissfully unaware of the true terror that lies past the horizon.
-----
It took practically the entire team just to kill this thing! Although I feel like a badass for getting past this without resorting to cheap tactics, this is still really dumb design.
Oh shit, here comes the big brother.
: "Veracity? Oh! I see! You've been keeping her here, right? That's why you don't let anybody in here!"
I just realized the entire University plot point has been the whole "trouble in paradise" plot point that zombie shows and movies tend to throw in to show something's bad going on behind closed doors.
Despite this, the university itself is still hella cozy and it's not like anything really horrible happened aside from the evil camera. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
: "That's right! I - if they found out, they'd kill her... I won't let that happen! I have to protect Winona, you see. You're not going to tell anyone, are you?"
What Jack says next re-cements my opinion of him as a rational person.
"You can't keep her here!"
: "I'll never let Winona go! I'll fight for her life - to the end of my own!"
[Theme I would use for Veracity: Sorrow's Distortion]
Yes, I consider him so dangerous that he gets a warning for HIS ENTIRE TEAM
Veracity is, bar none, the most difficult fight in Snakewood so far. While I think his face is a bit... strange, he has a cool design with the suit and everything. As you can tell, all of his Pokemon are Fire Types - he is the reason why Cutlerine threw the Soma and Rain Dance TM at you.
For example, his first Pokemon is Psypig. This one in particular knows Fire Blast, which is a 1-hit KO to everybody that's not Jeanne. It was actually pretty difficult to get past this one, as it required a bit of teamwork from both Umbra and Jeanne.
See, when I switched to Umbra, Psypig chose to boost repeatedly with Calm Mind even though logically it wouldn't make his chances any better. I had to manipulate the AI just to make sure Psypig dies efficiently.
I think the Sword Dances paid off after all.
Ninetales was nothing special. Helmaroc just threw two Ancient Powers at her and she died. I should probably mention that regardless of how much damage you took in the fight between Zombie Winona, you get fully healed when you get into the fight with Veracity. I am endlessly grateful for that decision.
OH, IT'S YOU!
Veracity's Torkoal is the most frustrating Pokemon in the entire game, bar none. See, all it knows are status moves such as Amnesia, Iron Defense, Double Team and Toxic. He can wall you into submission with zero effort if he really wanted to, which is why I regret not teaching Taunt to Valor earlier.
(sorry if it just disappeared in this screencap)
Umbra takes him out regardless, thanks to Swords Dance and incredible luck that the Torkoal didn't use Iron Defense or something.
This guy is going to learn the hard way why you don't mess with Jack's crew.
: ("I'm sorry I have to do this, but we have to stop your master immediately.")
Damn, Bellamine!
She nuked that guy out of existence despite being 10 levels lower than him. The drop to his special defense was well-timed.
Tohru and Ambes tag-team this Flareon.
Now... Veracity's final Pokemon. Are you ready, guys?
OH MY GOD REALLY
Ho-oh too?! So even if we brought the uber camera with us, it would have gotten melted by Ho-oh! Even if we trained Ballin into a Qwilshark, he would have probably gotten 1-hit KO-ed by Earthquake!
How are you supposed to deal with this monster without Aerodactyl?!
It has Pressure too, which makes things worse as Ancient Power only has 5 PP.
Thankfully, Helmaroc outspeeds it and lands the finishing blow. We finally got him...
[Theme I would use for this scene: Sad Story]
"Winona... I've failed you... I couldn't protect you..."
: "It's not Winona, Veracity. It's something else now, taking over her body."
: "I know... Every day, I come here with the Sacred Sword, intending to kill it... But then I see her, and I just - just can't..."
: "I can do it. I didn't know her very well. I can kill her for you."
"... Okay. Use the sword. It slices through evil with Ho-oh's fire."
Oh, that explains why he has a Ho-oh. Still though.
"One swing was all it took."
^ The above line was edited to fit the gravity of the scene, as it was originally -
Which is like way to kill the mood, Cutlerine!
: "Zuuuuggghnn!"
[Winona blinks in and out of existence]
: ".... Winona..."
: "Are you okay?"
: "... I'm fine. Here, let me heal your Pokemon. It's the least I could do for you."
[Fade to black, followed by healing SFX]
"I... Goodbye."
[Veracity walks away]
... I think we broke Veracity. I didn't expect the game to hit so hard with this plot point, given how relatively happy-go-lucky the rest of the game is.
Next time on Pokemon Snakewood, we... I don't even know. See you then, guys.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team setup:
(Bellamine,
, Level 41,
) - "That... that was actually kind of heartrending."
(Ambes,
, Level 43,
) - "I... I can't really keep my cool after seeing at what happened with Veracity and Winona..."
(Jeanne,
, Level 42,
) - "Veracity looked so broken as he left."
(Helmaroc,
, Level 44,
/
) - "To think, these Pokemon used to be my enemies..."
(Umbra,
, Level 42,
) - "I suppose it was her time. Keeping her in that cursed form would have been a disservice to her memory."
(Tohru,
, Level 43,
/
) - Is sitting quietly and meditating about what's happened
------------------------------------------------
Back-up Team:
(Reggie,
, Level 33, has Leftovers,
/
) - Is in awe of the situation
(Valor,
, Level 39, has Plus Band,
) - "This is getting a bit too heavy for my tastes... *sniff *"
(Zagon,
, Level 33,
) - "Wow... Poor Veracity."
(Alice,
, level 12,
) - Is struggling to hold back tears
(Krusha,
, level 12,
/
) - Is sitting with Cherry mulling over their future
(Ballin,
, level 14,
/
) - "... Well, that just happened."
(Pumbloom,
, level 14,
) - * is quietly sobbing *
(Ace,
, Level 39, has Anadrin Talon,
/
) - Is humbled and bows to Winona's departure
(Benedict,
, level 43,
/
) - "I... This journey's getting kind of depressing."
(Cherry,
, level 12,
/
) - "What's going to happen to us?"
(Beatrice,
, Level 26,
/
) - Stares blankly at what just happened
(Shine,
, level 12,
) - "Even a gym leader... Poor Veracity. He must be so heartbroken."
(Spark,
, level 12,
) - "Yeah... but at the very least Ambes finally evolved. So there's that at least."
(Alpha, level 50,
/
) - "HAHAHAHA. PATHETIC THINGS. YOUR FOLLY WAS LETTING YOURSELVES BE WEAKENED BY YOUR EMOTIONS."
(Letro, level 31,
/
) - "SUCH ARROGANCE. WATCH YOUR TONGUE, ALPHA. SHOULD I HAVE TO DEMONSTRATE WHY YOU DON'T USE MAGNETS ON COMPUTERS?"
(Juno,
, Level 38,
) - Slams into Alpha full-force
(Menti,
, level 37,
/
) - "I guess... I should be lucky that wasn't my fate."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 18 - Witch Hunt
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spoiler:
After a long period of staring at pixellated clouds, I've realized something.
It turns out that Cutlerine actually did made Snakewood as an angsty teenager over the course of several years. At the age of fifteen or so (I dunno), he had gotten the urge to do some Rom hacking after playing Pokemon Quartz. In hindsight, my remark about him being a "super-edgy "hardcore" teenager" had more merit to it than I thought.
Everything about Snakewood was not meant to be a coherent story - it's all nonsense that he threw in just for the sake of hacking and it was never meant to be taken seriously. He himself states that he doesn't know how the zombie apocalypse thing mixed in with this and regrets many of the design decisions that he's made for the hack.
(Future Dan Says: Keep this in mind because I forget it myself until the very end.)
He doesn't even have a backstory for our main protagonist and urges the player to think of something. I suppose Jack the character can become a reality now with this information.
Cutlerine also states that he hates the formulaic plotline of the main Pokemon games - "defeat eight gym leaders, beat up some bad guys, take on the elite four, the end." Which I sort of agree with, to be honest. After reading the reddit this came from, I forgive him for some of the more technical bullshit we've seen on this adventure.
(The good graphics =/= good game thing is still an argument that doesn't sit well with me, though. Not that I don't agree that you can have a good game without amazing graphics, but the game itself has to be good enough to warrant it. And you have to realize there's a level of atmosphere that you're missing out on by making the graphics intentionally horrible. That, and the bullshit on Mt. Pyre is still pretty bad.)
Oh right, we're actually playing the game.
I don't think this is what he meant by warming up.
Oh boy, I just remembered. Tohru has Guts, so that paralyze actually gave him a tremendous boost. This will not end well for that poor Luxray.
Welp, that's more money to add onto the pile. We've never had money problems this entire game and it's not stopping any time soon.
Witch Doctor: "Right! Then I'll heal you, then!"
Oh see, cause she's a Witch Doctor. I'm not laughing.
By the way, I've noticed a weird glitch when you get healed and the screen fades to black. You can keep making the screen darker and darker until it becomes pitch black. It goes away when you get into a battle, but damn is it cool.
... I have no idea what this is referencing and I don't care.
Yes, the Witches are indeed based off of the Left 4 Dead kind. They're still zombies but... eeeeeh.
She had a Solrock and a Lunatone that Ace smashed into pieces, the end. Interesting thing is that if you give either of them a Moon Stone, they evolve into something called GALACTIMON. I swear.
Oh damn, I wasn't prepared for a mythology lesson.
Essentially, Circe is a minor goddess of magic in Greek Mythology known best for her role in Homer's Odyessy - basically, she poisoned some dudes by lacing their food with a potion that turned them into pigs. In other words, a horribly obscure reference.
Oh hey, variety. Too bad Jeanne roasts it into barbeque cinders.
GORELAX, WE MEET AGAIN
This one is just as annoying as the one before, so be prepared if you're coming this way. I think this one caught me more off guard than the other one because I wasn't expecting a random witch to have a zombie Pokemon as annoying as Gorelax.
That was one Body Slam! Tohru keeps getting screwed by these, I swear.
Thankfully, we manage to kill it without much resistance.
I know this is a reference to a movie or something, but technically she is dead for real now.
"This witch is wicked. Damn wicked. She also shrieks like an Easterner."
The Blair Witch is here?!
She was merely a figment of our imagination. And the codifier of all found footage movies.
You know, I didn't expect it to become an actual witch hunt. Christ.
The Maybe Witch, huh? Well, I guess she doesn't look too bad after all.
Okay, she's not so innocent if she has a Gengar ready to fuck us up.
I... don't know how to feel about this? Other than Bellamine nearly died and I don't feel bad for the Maybe Witch as a result.
Where are you going with this, game?
Oh thank goodness. Still, that's hella dumb.
Since I have no ingenious commentary / synonyms for the word burn at the moment, I should probably mention that all of the Sand Witch's Pokemon are ground type. Cutlerine really liked being a master of double meanings, didn't he?
In retrospect, I'm glad I didn't bring a Water type so everybody else can participate. Trust me, I need it for the thing that's coming up in Chapter 19.
I know this game wasn't "supposed to be taken seriously", but god damn this is so silly. I can't. I just can't.
I love how he says that like "I've been waiting for you? Maybe?" The question mark makes it perfect. Also, at this point, the save for this part in particular just read "NO MORE WITCHES, DAMN" - which should tell you how done I was playing at the time. (By the way, I have like three folders just for the saves of Chapter 17, 18 and 19. Just saying.)
Future Dan: Ahahaha. That's nothing compared to the mountain of FFTA saves you had while waiting for Dark Rising 2 to finish.
-
Dr. Blackthorn: "I've got a present for you. This Astral Lens ought to help you get further on your journey. It can see through magic."
So he pretty much gave us the Lens of Truth from Ocarina of Time.
Jack, don't be rude. It was a gift.
Dr. Blackthorn: "You're surrounded by witches. Trust me, you will need it soon. Well, goodbye.
[The good doctor flies away on a Pokemon]
He might not be as bad as I thought he was.
For now though, let's go get some more useless Nest Balls and jump into the cave to the south.
Nice. By the way, it's raining inside of the cave? How the hell does that work?
Snakewood logic.
Funny thing. Valor, despite the fact that his signature "fuck off" move right now is Slash, cannot learn CUT. Does that make sense to anybody in the audience?
"She's an angel witch! You're an angel witch! Oh. Wait. Got a bit carried away there."
These references are getting crazier and crazier.
At this point I can't help but imagine Cutlerine yelling out loud through an interstellar microphone just to narrate these. It's too wacky at this point.
She had a Gardevoir too. You know, from the other side, Gardevoir are goddamn annoying to deal with. The witches also love to spam the shit out of restoration items such as Aconite Juice (another Full Heal item), Full Restores and so on. Due to how predictably they use items, however, it makes them easy to manipulate.
Still though, I really want to get Umbra out of storage already.
Straight and to the point today, aren't we?
Hey, they got their Pokemon up to a respectable level. Still not a threat even if they have the BAMF known as Metagross on their side.
Benedict gained 20 levels just from sticking around on this adventure.
It also tried to learn Water Spout, which is much like Eruption in that it does more damage the more health you have. Water Spout belonged to Wailord, so I'm very disturbed as to what could be coming out of Benedict.
"Great! You're a million times more powerful than the last time we fought you. Want to join the army? No? Okay, okay. How about giving us something for our report instead, then? A nice little quote would hit the spot perfectly."
I think that's all that has to be said.
"It revealed a hidden witch!"
Well, the item Dr. Blackthorn gave us fulfilled its purpose immediately. Almost makes me question why this sequence was thrown in. You could say the same thing for the Kecleon reveal in the original game but that actually had a purpose in introducing new Pokemon and it already blocked the way to the gym before we were given the Devon Scope, so...
This one's just "The Witch" like she's some hot shot. BURN HER, JEANNE!
Oh wait, Benedict was the one that finished her off. That's a good alien monster egg.
Thank god, some sanctuary. I mean, the random medical kits are cool and all but I need an actual place to stay at.
"You stink of rotting meat... You must be strong to have overcome all of those zombies..."
Oh god, I never factored what Jack must smell like after everything we did. He has to smell like swamp ass at this point.
But hey, let's go to the local store and buy some things.
... Uh? Did we confuse the store for a pet shop? As far as I'm concerned, these animals wind up being part of a trade to get Pokemon but for now they're storage fuel.
By the way, the person running the counter is not a Hex Maniac or Pestilence. It is in fact a man by the name of Count D, presumably Dracula, but I can think of another way to take that name. (I am kind of sad it's not a Hex Maniac, though - hex waifu is best waifu)
"This city is easy to defend. There's only one ladder in, and zombies can't climb."
Why are we scared of the zombies again? They're afraid of water and sand in a region defined by water and sand, the hulk ones are surprisingly easy to beat and they can't climb.
"My son used to send messages to his girlfriend by Wingull... Now she's dead, and all Wingull carries are military documents. But my son hides his grief so not as to cause me pain... Is that right?"
Awww, that's kind of sad really.
"Why does it have a heart-shaped sticker on it? You don't look like a heart-sticker type of person."
Oh shit, I just realized we're still using May's Pokedex. Must be pretty embarassing for Jack, all things considered.
"Where did all of the strong Trainers go? Steven Stone, Landon, Wally, the Elite Four... What zombies could have possibly defeated them?"
I have one answer for you: they got sucked up into the tornado of bullshit. That, or they escaped into the Hoenn remakes.
Seriously though, I don't think we ever get an answer. They, despite their incredible strength, just get eaten by zombies offscreen (except for Landon) and that's the end of their story.
Eyyyyyyyyyyyy, it's my buddy!
I... don't think this was changed from the original game? Someone correct me on this?
"This might just be the last living Marill in Hoenn... Her name is Petula Punkledunk."
Old Woman: "I know, I know. But my niece named her, and she has strange tastes..."
^ Cutlerine in general.
"If any zombies manage to get up here, they'll have to get past my Ziggy first!"
"Veracity is technically our Gym Leader right now, as head of the Honda clan, but... he's forbidden anyone to go into the gym."
... Huh. Strange. I'd like to meet this "Veracity" at the very least. Let's see what happens when we try to go to the gym.
"Veracity told us to ward everyone away."
Damn it, he was serious about the "stay away" thing. I should probably mention that even the guards are scared of Veracity and they're doing this so they don't get him angry.
Let's make our way to the south, then.
Birch decides to call us after all of this time? Well, alright, what does he have to say?
"Fortree. The zombies are getting tougher... I thought I could use some extra strength from the Gym."
I can imagine Jack saying this with the most
"Gym Leader Veracity. Since his sister Winona was taken by the zombies, he's become a little... eccentric."
... Winona's dead?
^ the above line was edited because it was originally "Sure! See ya" which is way too cheery for this situation.
Anyway, Birch hangs up and now we're free to go into the large imposing building that's suddenly here now.
Looks really cool for something made out of scratch.
The inside isn't half bad either! It's an original building yet it looks pretty damn cool. This is the Hoenn University of Film, and in my honest opinion it's one of the best new places in the entire hack. I have to give massive props to Cutlerine for making this place look as nice as it did.
"This University is very prestigious. It's the best in Hoenn. Also, the only university in Hoenn."
It makes me curious just what was with the sudden spikes in quality with the game. Like right now we had just gotten off of the stupid shit on Mt. Pyre and all of the Witches, yet as far as I'm concerned, there's nothing overly stupid in the University.
Is Cutlerine blowing smoke out of his ass when he said he wanted Snakewood to be nonsensical? I don't know and probably won't know even by the end of this game.
The Soma replaces the Mystic Water as the item that boosts Water-type moves. At the time I didn't think much of it, but with the presence of both this and the Rain Dance TM, I should have really trained up a proper Water type Pokemon.
Future Dan: The Soma? What an odd way to foreshadow LP #2.
"Welcome to the University! Feel free to look around and consider further education in the fascinating field of film-making!"
She's not kidding, either. Once we meet up with some Film Students, they tell us some nice stuff about actual film techniques.
"Me and my girlfriend here are going to make it big in the world of experimental theatre!"
After battle:
"We will triumph! Just you wait and see! In a few years' time, every cinema from here to Kahuto will be showing films by Zachary Quince starring Alexis Heart!"
I agree with Jack. I mean, it's a silly thing to fight about, but the guy sounds super desperate regardless.
Tilly: "No! I'm not Nurse Joy! Why does everyone keep mistaking me for her!"
Tilly: "What, you want me to heal your Pokemon for you? Huh? Huh?"
Tilly: "Well, I'll do that! Here!"
Man, Tilly sure is a tsundere nurse. I think I like her a bit more because of that.
... Godot. Is this a reference to Ace Attorney of all things?
I'm surprised that didn't come up during the murder mystery section of all things.
But hey, a PC! Thank god, we can finally switch the team around freely.
Umbra, say hello to The Crew. Ace, you stay behind with the others.
Rad. Now, let's make our way into the stairs ahead.
He has a Weavile. I remember when that was Alicia's special Pokemon, but now every Dark-type user and their grandmother has one.
He does have a Blissey though. Blissey are so cute, even if their Defense is absolutely horrible.
Well, I'm sorry lady but --
(Whitney? Is that you?)
Funny thing is that you didn't need to fight her. You could have skipped her entirely just by not talking to her... which is a pretty cool idea, to be honest.
Anyway, let's see what she has.
Milotic here is insane. Not only is she 11 levels above Umbra, but Milotic is now
The worst part about it is despite being a Dark type, Umbra's Bite doesn't do much despite it being super-effective. See, Dark is counted as Special in Gen 3 and Umbra is a Physical attacker - so thank the Pokemon Team for the Physical/Special split in later generations.
We manage to take her down with relative ease thanks to Swords Dance, Slash, and the power of miracles.
Are you ready for this next Pokemon, though? It's going to blow your mind.
HOM-BEAST!
It grew a tinier claw. THAT MEANS IT'S A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT POKEMON!
Seriously though, what the hell. How does this constitute as an evolution? It's pretty bad.
With that said though, I'm not going to proceed in the University for the rest of this. It's pretty late into the episode and there's things I want to show off later, so the only thing I can do now is GRINDING!
Alright, guys. This is the magic moment. Just what is Benedict going to evolve into?
...
YEAH, WE'RE DOING IT!
To be honest, though, we're not quite done yet. There's still that Leaf Stone we had back in our inventory...
YEEEAAAH BOI
Our Benedict has finally grown into a Celebi. Wunderbar!
Now that she's not a Hyperegg anymore, she needs a new name. Her name will be... Chloris. Well, that's what it will be when we finally get back to the Name Rater in Slateport. (stupid crusty old men - why can't I freely nickname my Pokemon?)
Benedict/Chloris will have to wait in the PC for now, though.
Letro... your time to shine has finally come as well. Prepare yourself.
Next time on Pokemon Snakewood, we're going to explore the University some more and do some heavy-duty grinding. See you then.
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Team setup:
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Back-up Team:
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Same goes for this one.
Chapter 19 - Like a Roaring Flame
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Spoiler:
Hmmm. Change of plans.
Letro, I'm glad you've evolved into Magneton... yet I feel like there's a certain someone that can utilize the Thunderstone to greater effect.
Ambes, welcome back.
[One grinding session later]
Alright. This is it. You ready, Ambes?
We have my friend, The Composer, to thank for making these wonderful Raichu portraits for Ambes.
These two get new moves, but I don't think I ever use them. Well, Dig's a free Escape Rope so that's well and good.
Future Dan: Dude! You just handed Bellamine one of her other not-Psychic signature moves!
Let's go into this room. These are supposed to be studios, by the way, so let's go bug some actors.
Well, there's a dude fighting against a dragon. We must have invaded... every fantasy movie ever.
"What are you doing, interrupting our shoot like this? Actually, I don't want explanations - I want your blood!"
Jesus dude, calm the fuck down.
Jared here has a Gigawolf of all things. Every battle here will be dangerous as they're all high levels, which answers my question as to why the University is still safe - everybody that lives in the University is stronger than the Gym Leaders!
These guys are really hardcore about film-making.
"Fine, wander around, but don't get in our way!"
Oooh, this is gonna be fun.
"I, the Trainer Knight, shall defeat thee, foul monster!"
Riveting commentary. Seriously though, everybody tells Jack to buzz off because they're in the middle of shooting a movie - which I can't blame them for.
This movie sounds hella cheesy, though.
"This dragon costume is so hot... but don't interrupt our film!"
I feel bad for the people that stuff themselves into full-body suits like this because the heat inside must be unbelievable. Especially if it's humid.
"This TM... It's a Dark move, but I don't really have enough Pokemon to make it worthwhile. You have lots of Pokemon, right? You can use it!"
Ah. That's... cool, I guess. Also, the caption is absolutely perfect.
The only time I remember Beat Up ever being used efficiently was when an opponent's Whimsicott used it on a Justified Terrakion during a Doubles match. Things got nasty for poor old Dan that day in Pokemon Showdown.
Skipping to the next studio over, it appears we've walked into a sci-fi movie.
I think we have to do this to progress the plot regardless. Besides, what are you gonna do, son?
Good answer.
I cannot trust anybody else to do this efficiently.
AND THIS IS WHY!
DEAR LORD, LOOK AT JEANNE'S HEALTH!
She's literally one point away from dying and poisoned to boot! Poor girl must be suffering beyond any form of comprehension. Thank the lord this is not a Nuzlocke, otherwise Jeanne's death would have made me quit the game for good.
Yeah, you're telling me. Full Restores are godlike.
"Uh... So yeah, this puts me in an awkward situation... I guess you can stay and watch if you really have to."
Don't these guys have something called "re-takes"? I can understand being mad at Jack, though.
"A kid? Go away! I'm busy, and you're blocking the cameras!"
Are these guys making a movie about the zombie virus in Hoenn? Cause that would be some meta shit.
Sand Cloak is just Bright Powder under a different name. Bright Powder just being a held item that makes it so enemy attacks miss more often. Sounds pretty neat.
"I don't have to be on set for another twenty minutes... Want to battle?"
Oh yeah, and watch out for this lady if you hadn't gone to heal up your team.
She has the standard for Actresses around here. Hombeast is still a joke to me no matter how high its attack is.
Fun fact, Hombeast has Guillotine of all moves - which actually hit Tohru multiple times in practice.
This may not be a Nuzlocke, but when you get hit by stuff like that, that's certain death. Hence why I don't count it as canon.
Take note of this line and keep it in mind when we actually go to fight Veracity. She's not kidding about him being good.
Ooooh, a horror movie set!
Yeah no, that's not going to work, Jack.
Crystal Storm is supposedly a
These guys all have really intimidating Pokemon that just get putzed out of existence by Tohru's fists. Why can't we have Luxrays, Weaviles, and all of this other stuff? Shinx is like one of my favorite electric types yet we never run into one in the wild!
"... It was a mistake? Okay, I guess you can stay here if you like. I mean, filming is pretty interesting."
I like how the horror film guy is the chillest out of all of them.
"... It just says 'Run up and down and scream a lot...'"
Genius.
It's one of those kinds of horror movies. Watch the entire audience void their bowels when it gets made regardless.
Oh hey, something actually related to plot!
"They say they're making an experimental kind of camera down in the basement... Will it put us out of a job?"
Ominous foreshadowing there. Because of this, said camera will become relevant in... 10 minutes.
"You can't really do that, you know - you have to go get a visitor's pass from Godot. I think I last saw him in the classrooms, which are to the right."
At least this guy tells us where to go. This university's huge, especially when compared to other places in the Pokemon universe.
This is where the classrooms are at. Let's go into the room to our left.
"At many points during your journey you've smelled the odor of death, but it's never boded well. Since that same odor is coming up these stairs, you decide to steer clear of them."
Intimidating, to say the least. I'll give Cutlerine slack for this one; It's stopping you from accidentally running into the boss of this area without preparation.
"This is Film Theory class. We're learning about... well, about Film Theory."
Oh yeah, this is what I meant when I said the guys here would teach us about stuff. Let's see what they have to say, shall we?
"Of all special effects, the Praxis Effect is definitely the best, don't you think?"
To the uninformed, the Praxis Effect is a big shockwave that happens in sci-fi movies like when a planet blows up.
Like so.
Film Student: "Empathetic sound matches the film, like something by NELL played over a depressing scene. The opposite is anempathic sound - like the happy music played in the intensely frustrating Inquisition Boardroom."
I'm genuinely intrigued by this because we'll be doing the same soon enough in the LP proper. Also, way to malice the fourth wall with a shoehorn, Cutlerine.
There was also a guy who talked about Double Abyss Structure, which I unfortunately forgot to screencap:
"It's where you see everything as the characters do. Like when it's dark in a film and you can't see anything either. Interesting, huh?"
I didn't expect this rom hack of all things to teach me these things. But it's definitely appreciated nonetheless.
"This is Actress class. We're learning how to be pathetic shadows of real people."
"I've heard of a Pokemon that steals guns from corpses on the battlefield... Is that true?"
Uh? As far as I'm concerned, there is no such Pokemon. I don't think even in Snakewood there's a Fakemon that fits that description.
"We're all waiting for him, so class can begin. I think maybe he went to the dorms."
Okay, more backtracking. Let's go back to the lobby and go through the middle entrance.
The dorms have the Oldale theme for some reason. Not that it bothers me - in fact the opposite because I love the music in this game.
Oh come on, this is the way to plot. You can't stop Jack from getting this over with.
Level 50?!
On the page in Pokecommunity where Cutlerine put up the rom hack, he said the hack would be "slightly more difficult" than normal. I suppose that's fine if you spell "slightly" like this.
You have no idea the surprise I had when Ambes took her down with just three Thunderbolts. When it happened, my jaw hit the floor something fierce because I didn't expect him to have won that easily.
Film Student: "He's in here. Since you're cool, you can go in."
Sweet. I was expecting a fight but this is a far better sequence of events.
Before we actually go into the room Godot is in, let's search this part first.
Actress: "No. Get away from me, film student freak!"
Narration: "You think about explaining the difference between nymphomaniac Film Students and normal guys, but give it up as a lost cause."
Sage advice. Don't try to go into the stairs next to her either, because it'll just give you a message of "dude there's an entire room of people like the actress to your left, it's a bad idea". So let's pilfer the TM instead.
Finally, something practical! Since Ghost is Physical in Gen 3, Bellamine doesn't get it. (Which you have to admit is a giant mindfuck for the supernatural and spirits to be physical of all things - thank god for the Physical/Special split in Gen 4 onwards.)
So Umbra gets it. He'll surely be able to use it to greater effect thanks to Swords Dance.
"My bed is full of smuggled Emolga from Unova... You didn't hear me say that! And there's nothing there anyway! ... You didn't believe me, no? Um... Here! Take one, but don't tell anybody!"
Oh right, the original draft of Snakewood was published in 2010... back when Black and White weren't even released to the US yet, I think.
The patch I'm currently playing is from 2013. I find it hilarious that Pokestar Studios was made 2 years after this rom hack with the Film University in it.
[Lets out a Groudon cry]
WHAT THE FUCK? This little flying squirrel has the most butch cry I've ever heard in my life!
The fact it replaced Groudon's slate aside, Emolga here isn't very special. I don't think he's going to be a part of the crew.
Godot: "Oh? Why do you need to see him?"
Godot: "Intriguing. Such a great task for one so young. Very well, here's your pass."
I was expecting that to be much harder and more bullshit. Thankfully, it was not.
Godot: "Well, I don't want to keep my students waiting. I'd best be off."
[Fade to black, followed by Godot disappearing]
"Was this whole quest just an excuse for a stupid, overlong joke about Waiting for Godot? I hope not, if only for the sanity of this region..."
Ah, so that's what the reference with Godot's name was. It would make sense that Cutlerine would put in a reference to an absurdist play in a rom hack like this.
Anyway, let's go to the room on the far left in the lobby. It holds the way to Veracity's office.
Every door but the correct one will say this, by the way. Of course, the correct one has a big poster saying "VERACITY'S OFFICE" like it needed to be more obvious.
Oh, he's definitely related to Winona. They have a striking resemblance. (cough)
Oooh, a terminator camera! While killing researchers is awful, we need to snatch this bad boy for ourselves.
"Do you always ask complete strangers to fight homicidal robots for you?"
That's true. I mean look at how far our journey has taken us since the ruins of Littleroot.
Anyway, let's make our way down to the basement.
[Theme I would use for the X32763 Camera: Rangda Bangda W theme]
This thing is one of my favorite Fakemon in the entire game. The X32763 Camera is exactly what everybody claimed it would be - it's intelligent and strong enough to rip through the team that isn't Ambes. Plus, its backstory is one of my favorites - it's a top secret camera that grew out of control and planned to murder everything in its path terminator style.
It is also nefariously hard to catch, as I had to retry multiple times just to get it with Ultra Balls. Jeanne is also the only person on the team that is capable of harming it to a significant degree, thanks to it being part
After a million Ultra Balls and some moderate injuries later, we finally manage to catch the evil camera.
"Little is known about this artificially created Pokemon, as the project was kept top secret. However, it is known to be incredibly powerful."
Damn straight.
Since X32673 is a mouthful, let's just call you Alpha instead.
SWEET CHRIST ALMIGHTY
Look at those stats! No wonder why Jeanne brought him to half health, look at the abysmal special defense he has.
But seriously though, Alpha is a powerhouse. Data Steam is his signature move - the animation for it is Lock-On, so it must be shooting off like a super electric bomb or something. (Which also has +1 priority if I'm not mistaken. That sir, is uh... busted.)
Alpha also has Levitate, which not only is super beneficial for his Ground type weakness but it also makes sense as he's stuck to the ceiling. It gets weird when we're outside or when the ceiling is too high to be plausible, though.
However, we don't need a fancy uber Fakemon to beat this part of the game. Ambes, take the Electric Honey instead. Don't eat it, though.
"Okay... So I've beaten that evil camera. Do I get a reward?"
Wow, what a dick. He doesn't have an inkling of gratitude.
Let's go sneak after him. But first...
Helmaroc, I require your assistance!
Guard 2: "Hey, it is!"
Guard 1: "A Witch attack? We'd better go help Veracity!"
[The guards disappear]
... Wait. Didn't we kill all of the Witches? The timing of this is very suspicious.
Let's go inside now that they're gone, though.
[Theme I would use for this pre-boss encounter: Magic Flute]
Is that...?
"The zombie is chained up."
[White flash]
[White flash]
Winona: "Landon, your Swellow seems less well-trained than the rest of your Pokemon... What do you have against Flying-types?"
[White flash]
[Theme I would use for this encounter: Escape from the Void]
Oh god, we're doing this. The first time I saw this happen, my heart was shattered. Like... Winona was actually one of my favorite Hoenn gym leaders. And now she's a zombie ready to claw my face off. I'm also a bit disturbed by how different she looks compared to other zombies - like she got fucked up something fierce.
The first Pokemon she has is a Dirtkrow that gets fodderized by Raichu Ambes's Thunderbolt.
Her second mon, on the other hand, is much more of a threat. See, this Grim Reaper Scyther here is fast enough to outspeed Ambes and comes equipped with Earthquake to ruin whatever electric type you happen to bring with you that isn't the super cheap Camera fakemon.
However, Helmaroc throws some rocks her way and squishes her with zero effort. I feel bad for the person who didn't grind or catch the super tough plot-related Mons Cutlerine provided.
Iron Reaper, despite being the evolution, was far easier to deal with as one hit from Jeanne's Flamethrower killed them instantly.
NO, YOU CAN'T BE
What the hell, Cutlerine?! You can't be serious! Throwing a legendary like Lugia at us? I know the Camera was designed to kill this thing, but bringing this thing here makes absolutely no sense. The challenge of this rom hack should not be pitting high-level ubers against each other!
Future Dan: It's adorable how pure you are. You're blissfully unaware of the true terror that lies past the horizon.
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It took practically the entire team just to kill this thing! Although I feel like a badass for getting past this without resorting to cheap tactics, this is still really dumb design.
Oh shit, here comes the big brother.
I just realized the entire University plot point has been the whole "trouble in paradise" plot point that zombie shows and movies tend to throw in to show something's bad going on behind closed doors.
Despite this, the university itself is still hella cozy and it's not like anything really horrible happened aside from the evil camera. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
What Jack says next re-cements my opinion of him as a rational person.
"You can't keep her here!"
[Theme I would use for Veracity: Sorrow's Distortion]
Veracity is, bar none, the most difficult fight in Snakewood so far. While I think his face is a bit... strange, he has a cool design with the suit and everything. As you can tell, all of his Pokemon are Fire Types - he is the reason why Cutlerine threw the Soma and Rain Dance TM at you.
For example, his first Pokemon is Psypig. This one in particular knows Fire Blast, which is a 1-hit KO to everybody that's not Jeanne. It was actually pretty difficult to get past this one, as it required a bit of teamwork from both Umbra and Jeanne.
See, when I switched to Umbra, Psypig chose to boost repeatedly with Calm Mind even though logically it wouldn't make his chances any better. I had to manipulate the AI just to make sure Psypig dies efficiently.
I think the Sword Dances paid off after all.
Ninetales was nothing special. Helmaroc just threw two Ancient Powers at her and she died. I should probably mention that regardless of how much damage you took in the fight between Zombie Winona, you get fully healed when you get into the fight with Veracity. I am endlessly grateful for that decision.
OH, IT'S YOU!
Veracity's Torkoal is the most frustrating Pokemon in the entire game, bar none. See, all it knows are status moves such as Amnesia, Iron Defense, Double Team and Toxic. He can wall you into submission with zero effort if he really wanted to, which is why I regret not teaching Taunt to Valor earlier.
(sorry if it just disappeared in this screencap)
Umbra takes him out regardless, thanks to Swords Dance and incredible luck that the Torkoal didn't use Iron Defense or something.
This guy is going to learn the hard way why you don't mess with Jack's crew.
Damn, Bellamine!
She nuked that guy out of existence despite being 10 levels lower than him. The drop to his special defense was well-timed.
Tohru and Ambes tag-team this Flareon.
Now... Veracity's final Pokemon. Are you ready, guys?
OH MY GOD REALLY
Ho-oh too?! So even if we brought the uber camera with us, it would have gotten melted by Ho-oh! Even if we trained Ballin into a Qwilshark, he would have probably gotten 1-hit KO-ed by Earthquake!
How are you supposed to deal with this monster without Aerodactyl?!
It has Pressure too, which makes things worse as Ancient Power only has 5 PP.
Thankfully, Helmaroc outspeeds it and lands the finishing blow. We finally got him...
[Theme I would use for this scene: Sad Story]
"Winona... I've failed you... I couldn't protect you..."
"... Okay. Use the sword. It slices through evil with Ho-oh's fire."
Oh, that explains why he has a Ho-oh. Still though.
"One swing was all it took."
^ The above line was edited to fit the gravity of the scene, as it was originally -
Which is like way to kill the mood, Cutlerine!
[Winona blinks in and out of existence]
[Fade to black, followed by healing SFX]
"I... Goodbye."
[Veracity walks away]
... I think we broke Veracity. I didn't expect the game to hit so hard with this plot point, given how relatively happy-go-lucky the rest of the game is.
Next time on Pokemon Snakewood, we... I don't even know. See you then, guys.
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Team setup:
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Back-up Team:
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