Rainbow Chara X

Impossible to gauge!

Age 27
Shiny Hunting in Sinnoh
Seen 3 Days Ago
Posted 4 Weeks Ago
120 posts
7.9 Years

Oh goodness, what do we have here?

Pokemon Snakewood is a Ruby rom hack released in 2010 or so by a man called Cutlerine. It's a hack where Hoenn is overrun with zombies and the entire region is falling apart. When I first saw this, I thought it was going to be rad because the concept was promising. However, from either trying too much or trying too hard, Cutlerine's hack manages to get really... weird. I mean it's all over the place.

Ever since then, I've been enchanted by Snakewood's strangeness but I've never quite tried it myself. By the way, this is the first screenshot let's play I've ever done and it was inspired by the likes over at the LP Archive.

So buckle your safety belts, fellow PC members, because this is going to be a rollercoaster of crazy.

2023 NOTE: I used to have these let's plays of mine uploaded on my blog here, but the images and formatting broke. So I figured it would be best to just re-do the chapters and clean them up a bit since the original prints were made in 2015 + a thread is a much better place to put all of the chapters together. That, and you all will be getting more content this time around.



Chapter 1 - Whisper of Hell


Upon starting the game, we are greeted by Birch and his beard. We also learn that our character is an amnesiac.

It's always that trope, huh.

Birch sends out a Bulbasaur... that doesn't look quite right. (and doesn't sound quite right as it makes the Azurill noise).

Narration: "But that Pokemon looks strange... I think something very very odd has happened... Is it just my memory playing tricks on me, or is that Pokemon I just remembered... dead?"

"That can't be right, surely? Pokemon don't die, they just faint and lose the will to fight, right?"

I'll admit, this intro is cool. It's setting up the sequence of events nicely. Now we get the choice for our two main heroes.

Oh no.

Our two main characters are not very appealing, as the male is an angry-looking Dante ripoff while the hot pink sweater on the girl is laughable at best. Not only that, the default names are so edgy I almost cut myself on them.
  • Wraith, Shade, Dark and Eye (???) for the male option
  • Ghost, Haunt, Jericho and Loba for the female option

Since I have at least some form of class, I went with this instead. Because he looks like a Jack to me more than anything else.

"No, but seriously you should leave."

Expect more of this humor, by the way. Especially when it's trying to be serious.

[fade to black]


What happened to Littleroot? It's nothing but rubble.

Also, since this is a still image, imagine the screen shaking before making a truck-stopping noise since it's still using part of the in-game intro. I'll give Cutlerine credit for chopping out the rest of the intro, though.

Let's go read that sign on the bottom.

... Christ. Now we have a mood going. Let's see how long it lasts, though.

Head over to the left, and we have some Pokeballs. These are your starters for the game!

The top is Claydol (rotating on its own axis), the left is Koffing (spewing toxic fumes) and the one Jack is standing in front of is Paras (ill health).

Since I like Paras a bit more than the other two, I went with him. I was going to name him Reginald based off of Haydunn's Nuzlocke of this game, but feh. I like Reggie better. Also, once you choose a Pokemon from these three, you can't get more.

: ("Ya, mon! I'm happy to help ya out.")

"After all, you're not a crook... are you?"

Excuse me? We are in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. The region is in chaos. The town is nothing but ruins. There is nobody else here. Having more Pokemon equals better chances to survive. So why god tell me are you chastising me for trying to get more than one?!

I'll be a crook however I want, thank you!

...Well, moving on. We make our way towards the route ahead only to hear:

"AAAAAAAH! H-help! Someone!"

It's Birch being attacked by a zombie! Well muk, I'm glad we got here just in time then.

Dude, I was just trying to see how close I can get without getting my face chewed off. I wasn't trying to run away, chill.

Hey, what's up bruh.

Zombie Kid Liam, huh? I should mention this little blue putz has the Team Aqua/Magma battle theme playing right now like he's some hot shot.

B... Boilbasaur. All of the zombie Pokemon in this hack have "punny" names but a lot of them are just really dumb. I should that none of the zombie Pokemon are able to be captured in the wild, barring two special exceptions. You'll know when we get there.

Reggie scratches it to death with little effort regardless.

So defeating the Pokemon somehow destroys the zombie trainer as well? I'm not complaining, good riddance. At the very least, they're not Return of the Living Dead zombies.

* shudder *

Birch says that he knows us and that we're the older brother of Landon, who is now married to May. He also asks us if we know anything about the zombie plague, but our hero just goes:

Oh, what a card this man is.

Seriously though, I don't care if you have amnesia. I wouldn't forget something as big as THE DEAD COMING BACK FROM THEIR GRAVES.

Anyway, the good professor leads us to Oldale.

This Pokecenter is where we wind up, and the two guys in green are guarding the way. So far I like how Snakewood is progressing in regards of zombie apocalypse story.

Before we go outside though, let me bend time and space for this special occasion.

(Inputs gameshark codes loudly)


Now we have a new friend. Since I wanted to be a bit naughty, I put in a code to get Kirlia much earlier than I'm supposed to. And trust me, we're going to need Bella's help for this venture cause Snakewood is going to pile-drive you until you scream uncle.

This should also be the extent of the cheating as I'm confident I can beat Snakewood with what I get. Unless it's a very special occasion. Scout's honor.

Future Dan: Dude, you have no idea how important this one decision you made is. Also:


2023 EDITION NOTE - Red Emeras () mark scenes or dialogue that are not in the actual game.



[A Kirlia spontaneously teleports into the room and face-plants onto the floor. She looks up and observes the room.]

[Current OST for LP scene: Illusionary World]

: ("Where...? Where am I?")

: "Huh?! What's a Kirlia doing here? It's not a zombie... is it?"

: ("How dare you! I am a perfectly normal Gar--")

: ("... Wait. Zombie?! What part of the world did I end up in?")

: "You're in the Hoenn region. I don't know what's happening either, but apparently corpses are coming back up as flesh-eating monsters. It's looking like armageddon out there."

: ("How horrible!")

: ("N-no... Please don't tell me this was part of their plan...")

: "What're you talking about?"

[The strange Kirlia looks over Jack and sighs]

: [Thinking to herself] ("He doesn't look like a very reliable human. Smells a bit too. But still... better than nothing, at least.")

: ("You're a trainer, yes? What do you say to teaming up? If things are as dire as you say, then we can't afford to make any mistakes.")

: "Not a bad plan, actually. A strong psychic type like yourself might be exactly what we needed. You can call me Jack. Should I give you a nickname or... ?"

: ("Call me Bellamine.")

: "Ooh. Pleased to meet you, then."

[Bellamine curtsies to him]

: ("Likewise. If we're going to work together, we may as well make it painless.")

: "Let's go kick some ass, then."

Extra note: I will be using sprites from the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Sprite Repository to better show off the emotions of my Pokemon when I write scenes, as originally I was limited to what was in the actual games + had to rip portraits directly from the 3DS games for Pokemon that existed past Gen 4.

You can find the credits for the people who made each portrait at the bottom of each update, below the Team Set-Up.

Upon going to the left, we're greeted with this guy.

"To be let out on your own! So stay away!"

Dude, I'm bootleg Dante. I'm pretty sure I can still leave everything in my way a bloodied pulp. You want a demonstration?

This is a bit of a baldfaced lie as there are Pokemart employees in some other towns... but thanks for the Light Potion anyway.

Let's go inside the Pokemart to see what might have changed.

Oh damn, another zombie. Let's get 'em!

... Ah. No need to fear - she's apparently too distracted by shopping to be a real threat. Move along, then.

Ooh, a vending machine!

I'm parched. Let's get some water.

But how did it even... oh, who cares.
What's worse is that you can give this to one of your Pokemon and it actually heals them up! Isn't that great?

We head up north to Route 103 where Birch is waiting for us.

Excellent question, Jack.

"And our entire families vanish without trace, there is still time for science!"

Jack is thinking what we're all thinking.

"And yet... here is a nest, complete with an Egg!"

I have several questions.

Yeah, time's a wasting when the undead horde is right behind you!

"That Eggs only hatch when taken around with other Pokemon."

That only raises further questions.

: "But what about the parent Pokemon?"

: "I don't see any, do you?"

Way to be a dick, prof. That said, the egg will be much safer in our hands than leaving it for some cadaver to smash it open.

"I also wanted to talk to you about the zombies."

: "Seems like nobody wants to talk about anything else."

: "Yes, quite."

I would imagine people want to talk about them given that society is about to collapse, if it hasn't already.

Anyway, Birch is telling us that Landon is the League Champion and that he and May went to look for the source of the zombies. Since they never came back, Birch wants Jack to look for them not only because they're family but also because since Landon is the Champion, he can beat back the zombies no problem. Jack is skeptical.

: "The same person who vanished without a trace when he went to beat back the zombies."

"It's the best we got. So! Will you go?"

Jack is just like "OK" and is told to go to Petalburg.

Granted, we can't really knock Birch's plan because he knows we have magical protagonist plot armor. If we were playing a Nuzlocke though, it'd be a different story.

Oh this man.

Birch tells us that he's going to get the PC connection up and running so he can contact more survivors. While he's at it, he gives us a Poke Phone so he can contact us directly. As Birch leaves, we make our way back towards Oldale until we come across a new face.

Oh. Hello, random lady who is obviously not a villain.

"You must be pretty weak-willed. But I suppose I could use the experience from thrashing you."

I don't think anybody will notice if we add one more casualty to the pile. Let's do this.

The fight itself is nothing special. Reggie scratches while the Sneasel taunts.

HOWEVER, there's something very interesting with this Mon right here. See, when Cutlerine was editing Pokemon for this hack, he changed around a lot of stuff.

Primarily, this "Sneasel" is not actually Sneasel. It is actually Mawile with a Sneasel makeover. I inputted a bunch of wild encounter gameshark codes before doing this let's play to see what was changed, and much to my surprise the original Sneasel slate is still Sneasel.

Future Dan: I find it even more interesting in retrospect because I used Gen 3 Suite to hack in certain members for later let's plays, and I still can't quite grasp what Cutlerine's reasoning was here. Maybe it was to add Weavile into the game or something - remember, this hack was made back in 2010.

Useless trivia aside, the cloaked dingus goes down without much of a fight.

Nah, not really. Paras always has an Oran Berry equipped, so unless you got a critical hit, this fight was pretty much mine.

"I ought to tell you my name so you can tremble the next time you hear it. It's Alicia. Now let me pass!"

Pffffffffffft. Whatever you say, Alicia.

: "Well, that was unpleasant. Hope I never get to see her again."

Something in my gut tells me this won't just be any normal zombie apocalypse... but that's beside the point. See you guys then.


Team setup:

(Reggie, level 5, /) - "That Alicia really be boiling my blood there! She wants these claws, she'll be getting 'em!"
(Bellamine, level 3, ) - "Oh Rubus, I hope you're alright..."


Portrait credits:
- Reggie (Paras & Parasect – Non-standard sprites are made by jackolanternjackalope. Parasect doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)
- Bellamine (Kirlia & Gardevoir – Non-standard sprites are made by JFain and Ichor)

Check out some of my screenshot LPs!:

Pokemon Snakewood Remaster (Complete) || Pokemon Dark Rising Remaster (On-going)

Rainbow Chara X

Impossible to gauge!

Age 27
Shiny Hunting in Sinnoh
Seen 3 Days Ago
Posted 4 Weeks Ago
120 posts
7.9 Years

Things are pretty eventful this episode! Let's break it down.

Chapter 2 - We're Going Places


We find our hero Jack contemplating what to do with his life regarding all of this zombie apocalypse nonsense.

That is, until he sees a horrible sight: zombie singles in our area!

I mean, a boy in peril! He rushes in to the rescue!


It's like you just took a bunch of white and black, slapped it onto the Lass sprite and called it a day. Like what the hell, man? I thought the main heroes were pretty dopey looking, but this is legitimately awful.

She sends out a Polihag (groan) but it only does Bubble. Reggie does what he does best.

Oh no. Consider this a taste of what is coming up ahead. Anyway, switching to Bella.

It's just a green Charmander with red eyes. That's not a zombie. That's a recolor that needs some Clear Eye. Either way, Bellamine smears his body against the curb with Confusion.

Damn it, I need some Clear Eye after looking at that sprite again.

B... but I thought she was a ghost? Make up your mind, Cutlerine!

Hey, thanks!

I actually needed those so I wouldn't have to speed up all the time. But wait a second.

: "What a crappy flashback."

Agreed. But we get the Running Shoes now! Also, expect Jack to get flashback headaches like those a lot. It's part of the Amnesiac Struggle (tm), I'm afraid.

Oh no, not another one of you. This fight is unavoidable even if you offscreen her, as she will still walk over to you. It's dumb. Also, insert innuendo here because I used it up with the last one.

Jesus. Now that's a zombie. Poor Marill looks kind of creepy here with the soulless eyes and the blood. I don't know why it would just turn orange all of a sudden, but maybe it's something to do with Marill skin putrefying or nonsense like that.

Anyway, with that eyesore out of the way, let's go talk to the fine fellow over at the corner.

"This zombie is clearly eating but you don't feel like seeing exactly what it is."

... Let's leave him alone, then.

Let's get some food of our own. Also, since this picture needs some more pizzazz I should mention that the zombified Pokemon are actually no different than their regular counterparts.

Sorry to spoil, but a majority of them don't have additional/changed types nor are they that much stronger than how they normally are. They're just edited to be a bit "spookier" looking, and that's really it.

2023 Dan Addon: I feel decompilation would be amazing towards making an actual awesome Pokemon zombie hack where there's zombie versions without having to take up slots of existing Pokemon. Maybe even an infection mechanic, though that might be out of scope for rom hacks.

... I immediately feel out of my league. Let's not touch those two for right now.

Go south of there and you get this.

I have no idea what the Broken Heart item is. Its description is "One of many the plague has left in Hoenn" but I have no idea what its effect is. Maybe it's like a selling item. I don't know.

Anyway, since the zombie blocking the way is pretty strong, let's go on a bit of a grinding session. It ends with Reggie learning Stun Spore, along with two new additions to the team.

; ("Oh thank goodness, a living trainer! Please take me with you, nya!!")

: ("Take me along too! I was itching for adventure way before this zombie thing happened.")

Meet Zagon the Zigzagoon and Alice the Skitty. Zagon is not immediately useful, but trust me she becomes a beast later on. Alice, however, is more immediately useful but might not be so important later on. Either way, they're both welcomed with open arms.

Now that the party's a few levels stronger, let's do this.


Guys, seriously. Watch out for this dude. He will rip you apart with little effort, considering his high level and the fact he knows Ember. If Reggie tried to fight him right now, he would have been dead on arrival. If you're playing a Nuzlocke of this hack, be really goddamn careful as this Charmander can probably end your streak prematurely. (although why you'd do a nuzlocke of this game to begin with is a very interesting question)

No need to fear, as Bellamine puts him in his place. Thatta girl.

The person coming up after the ghost girl (???) is this kid. Unlike her however, Allen here is an absolute putz. He has two Boilbasaurs that get dumped out by Bellamine in no time flat.

What exactly are these words the zombies are saying? Cause I think that was a foreign curse word. You sassin' me, boy?

Ah! We're finally at Petalburg and... it's gone to hell, I'm afraid. Let's ask that lady over there to see if she can help u--

... Of course. This pun is lame too. I don't know why zombification would turn Squirtle into this copper-like form like he's a melting caramel bar. Damn, now I'm hungry. Anyway, once that's dealt with, let's make our way towards the house to our south.

Doesn't look that bad. I should mention that none of the music in this game has been modified to sound spookier, so the bright and happy Petalburg theme is still playing like normal.

"This woman appears to have had her legs gnawed off, which accounts as to why her corpse is still on this chair."

... Oh. That's gruesome. Cutlerine's at his best when he's writing horror, let's not kid ourselves.

Anyway, we make our way towards the gym until we see a bag on the ground.

It's essentially the Pokecenter of this town, and I'm grateful. I'm not going back to Oldale just to recover wounds.

"It's impossible to enter. The doors are firmly wedged shut by a pile of skulls and stuff."

Damn. What even happened here? How did the zombies overtake everybody this messily?

Another person that doesn't have the green skin recolor disease!

: "Yes, how do you know that?"

Person: "You look like your brother. Are you going after him?"

He... does?

: "Of course."

Person: "Then will you bring peace and put the dead back in their graves?"

: "... Sure, whatever."

... Well, that was a thing. Goodbye, random NPC that existed for only one scene.

Let's go into that house, actually.

Oh sweet!

That crate contains an infinite amount of Potions for you to take, free of charge. Although it should make you really suspicious about the road ahead if a level 9 zombie Charmander is what they throw at you right out of the gate...

"Perhaps it's the salty sea air."

If saltwater and the sea air are the primary weaknesses of the zombies (along with just beating the guts out of them), then they chose the literal worst region to make a Zombie Apocalypse happen.

Speaking of the beach...

We get jumped by this guy.

Hey genius, you were the one that attacked me. I didn't even want your stupid items anyway.

"I've lost everything. The zombies ate my family and destroyed my home. What little I had left was stolen by looters. Sob... sob..."

... Well damn.

"I'm trying to extract some salt from the seawater. If a zombie comes in contact with salt, they turn back into a corpse. Haitian legend said so."

Huh. I'm interested in this concept and while it cripples the already not-that-hard-to-kill undead, it's a nice idea.

"I just tried to get Mr. Briney to take me to Dewford because it's an island and zombies can't cross running water. But Mr. Briney tried to eat me!

Oh. Moving on.

Yeah, get out of the way. You're just experience fodder anyway.

We're at the woods now and I just gotta say. If you don't train here, you're going to have a bad time.

Our first encounter in the woods is Lyle here. Despite the smug look on his face, he's actually fighting us so we don't get ourselves killed from the zombies. He's actually a nice guy, even if his method is a bit backward.

: "... I'll be fine, okay."

Jack is the last person I expect to die in this story. Lyle, you're higher up on the hit list due to being a random NPC.

We go to our right here and we meet Larry the Looter. Larry here is actually an impromptu Mart and a friendly guy. He sells us stuff. That makes him a winner in my eyes.

I decided to do a bit more grinding to prepare for the next big fight. And while I was at it -

: ("Am I glad to meet you! Me and my siblings got separated when my buddy told us to run in here. I hope he's alright.")

Our hero of the evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Now the team consists of -
  • Reggie (Paras, Male, Modest nature)
  • Bellamine (Kirlia, Female, Rash nature)
  • Egg the Egg (??????????????????)
  • Zagon (Zigzagoon, Female, Lax nature)
  • Alice (Skitty, Female, Jolly nature)
  • and now Ambes (Pikachu, Male, Quirky nature)

I think we can coast through the zombies with this team, even if natures will mean absolutely nothing to me later on.

Right now though, we have to deal with some trouble!

Oh no, here we go.

Yeeeeesh. They're actually kind of terrifying. And trust me, if you didn't take precautions this fight will end you. Which is why I did this.

: ("Hey there, stud~")


This is messed up in so many ways.

... But what can I say. She's a maneater.

Seriously though if this was Reggie or Bellamine, they would have both died horribly.


You thought the Charmander from before was bad? This guy is an utter nightmare. Despite his dopey looking gold appearance, Dirtkrow here will tear your soul out and eat it. He will make mincemeat out of all of your Pokemon - especially if you choose Paras. Hence why finding Pikachu in this segment is absolutely necessary.

2023 Dan Addon: Cut to Scarlet and Violet. "Murkrow is overpowered" suddenly becomes a lot less hilarious or more depending on your stance.

My hero.

Yeah, suck a chode.

"We demons may possess corpses but we are honorable. You have defeated me, and so I will warn you that stronger demons than I lurk ahead in the city you call Rustboro."

oh that ain't good

Huh. That's convenient.

Oh, is Jack going to have a flashback?

[The screen darkens a bit]

Landon: "This Stone Badge raises the Attack of my Pokemon. I got it from the Gym Leader Roxanne!"

: "Urrghhh... That flashback hurt my brain. But I remember where these come from. These Gym Badges - the Gym Leaders have them. And the Gym Leaders are strong... So what could have possibly happened to Rustboro that even the Gym Leader was defeated? I'd better investigate - with extreme caution."

Oh ho, the plot thickens! I don't know if I've said this by now, but I like Jack. The two main characters, despite getting the silliest default names, are actually the most down-to-earth characters of the entire thing. They're nice to watch and their reactions are appropriate.

"I'm going to die... I can feel the poison chilling my blood and turning my brain to soup. Urgh..."

Oh **** is he going to turn into a zombie? Cause if so, bring it on!

... Never mind. May he rest in... peace?

Anyway, that's all for this update. Next time we tackle Rustboro and see just what the hell happened to Hoenn.

Team setup:

(Reggie, , /) - "Sweet lion of Zion, that brother would've killed me if I went out. Thanks for taking my place, Ambes."
(Bellamine, , ) - "Alice, please never do that again." *shivers*
(Alice, , ) - "You're just jealous of my natural good looks."
(Ambes, , ) - "I sure hope Big Sis got away in time..."
(Zagon, , ) - "Can you teach me how to do that, Alice?"
(Egg the Egg, ) - Currently hatching

POST-EDIT Dan: This was the start of the 100 screenshots per chapter formula that would later go on to be a staple of my LPs. Funny how this "whopper" turned out to be standard procedure by later chapter standards.


Portrait Credits:

PMD Sprite Repository site: https://sprites.pmdcollab.org/

- Reggie (Paras & Parasect – Non-standard sprites are made by jackolanternjackalope. Parasect doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Bellamine (Kirlia & Gardevoir – Non-standard sprites are made by JFain and Ichor)

- Alice (Skitty & Delcatty – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron)

- Ambes's portraits are all default ones

- Zagon (Zigzagoon & Linoone – Non-standard sprites are made by DasK. Linoone doesn’t have any new faces.)

- Benedict (Is an egg sprite made from scratch – made by Emboarger and ShyQuietRain)

Check out some of my screenshot LPs!:

Pokemon Snakewood Remaster (Complete) || Pokemon Dark Rising Remaster (On-going)

Rainbow Chara X

Impossible to gauge!

Age 27
Shiny Hunting in Sinnoh
Seen 3 Days Ago
Posted 4 Weeks Ago
120 posts
7.9 Years

It's so fascinating seeing people who never knew screenshot let's plays are a thing.

Context: There was someone who found the original version of this let's play from a while back and used it as a reference in their video essay about Snakewood as a guide of sorts. For me it was a culture shock moment, cause this was the only method I had to record gameplay without using... well, actual video recording equipment. I was pretty broke back then.

Chapter 3 - An Ace Takes Flight


I neglected to show this Ether last update. It's cool that there's PP restoration items hanging around, but they fall into the "too cool to use" club for me.

I had also forgotten to give this fine chap the time of day.

This line out of context is somehow even more disgusting than the actual context.

Anyway, a quick demonology note - Andromalius is the 72nd Earl of Hell. He is depicted as a man holding a serpent and is responsible for punishing thieves along with exposing evil and dishonest dealings. All of the possessed corpse enemies in this game reference an Ars Goetian demon, which is cool and all but if they're not important to the story then they're just fodder.

However, he does have a very interesting Pokemon.

Would you look at that. An evil egg.

But seriously though, the Secretegg series of Fakemon are actually the most complex Pokemon in this entire hack. They have the most evolutions out of any Pokemon (outside of Eevee, which I don't think is in this) and all of them are pretty crazy. You can level it up normally, but at a certain point if you give it an Elemental Stone (Fire, Water and Thunder respectively) Secretegg (or rather a later stage of it) will actually evolve into ENTEI, SUICUNE OR RAIKOU.

I am not making this up. It's a really good Pokemon to keep around, even if it's not very interesting sprite-wise.

Pssh. Go after some looters instead. Preferably punish the lot that robbed that one woman blind on the beach.

This is what he was blocking, by the way. This makes grinding a hell of a lot easier later on.

Now we're actually getting somewh-- what is that in the upper left corner

Oh dear god. Shield your eyes, Ambes!

: "... Goddamn, that's barbaric. Let's just take this Super Potion and leave."

[Ambes gazes at the severed Pikachu head, his eyes locked in a thousand yard stare.]

: "... You okay, little buddy?"

[Jack shakes Ambes, who snaps out of his trance.]

: ("This... this was my friend. Just the other day we were talking about our future and meeting cute girls... but now...")

: [Gives the Pikachu a hug, who sobs into his jacket]

: ("What sick person would do this?!")

Wait a second, who could have done this?

The zombies seem very unlikely cause they just eat everything and all the survivors would be more concerned with... you know, surviving. So you got me. Poor Ambes, though.

Inside of the flower house you can find a Wailmer Pail. I don't know why you would use it, as berry planting wasn't even that feasible in the original game. Much less so in a hack as difficult and plot-driven as Snakewood.

: "Lady, do I look like I'm rotting or have blue skin?"

: "And I had to knock out your Pokemon before you could realize that."

"Now I'm lost, tired AND with a fainted Pokemon. I'm surely dead meat."

: "I would be more sympathetic to your plight if I didn't scream 'I'm not a zombie, what is wrong with you' like five times as we fought."

"Go to the city and rid us of the demons. If it'll help, please take this TM09."

That's cool and all, but only Reggie can learn it and even then there's better moves coming up for him anyway. It's the thought that counts.

: "So wait, the zombies can't cross water either? Our region is like 60 percent water! How are they getting anywhere? Bah. How's fishing going for y--"

Of course. He has like three of these, by the way. Hurray for experience fodder!

Up the path, we meet these two (along with another one that was unimportant to show).

It's a gruesome sprite edit and all, but why do all of the kids have yellow clothes after they get zombified? Actually, I don't want to know why.

Oh joy, more "puns"! But really. If you prepared, this fight is nothing special. I would complain about how the coloring is inconsistent between the evolutions but zombie Wartortle's evil black eyes kinda scare me.

Rustboro City, at last. I should mention that Rustboro has some of my favorite music out of Gen 3. It's just homey to me. It's only matched by Solaceon in Gen 4 and Lacunosa in Gen 5.

But wait, before we go into the city... I sense a major asshole up ahead. Let's go back and grind a bit more.

... I'm somehow not surprised Snakewood would do this.

You know I had to. Benedict, out of every type I expected, wound up being Normal / Bug... which explains why the Leech Life of that other Egg nearly killed Bellamine. Oh well.

"Gasp... gasp... I've been running from the zombies for days now. But they're everywhere. My Pokemon can barely carry on..."

: "Of course you can. I mean, I have like millions of the damn things." [hands her a potion]

Lady: "Thank you, thank you! You literally saved my life. Take this small gift as my gratitude."

: "Aww, it was nothing."

Sweet. This will be useful very soon, actually. Just wait and see.

Also while going back, I found these two kids running back and forth through the trees. I don't even know.

Anyway, let's see what that thing at the entrance to Rustboro is.

It's an evil disembodied head!

... Called Benji.


I mean hell, Jynx wasn't a favorite of mine in terms of design but this is just hideous. He gave her a chest face. That has eye titties. Grody.

Also rude crude dudes alert as Eye-Eye is actually really goddamn strong for this early in the game. Pound may not be something to write home about, but the Powder Snow she has is dangerous. It can put practically every member to half or below with one use or straight up kill if you're Reggie. (sorry reggie you get all the worst luck )

: ("That'll teach you to be a creepy eye monster!")

Zagon earns her keep. By the way, Benedict actually fainted offscreen. That's how strong this thing is. Pray for me.

After beating the (outright mutated, good lord) zombie Jynx, Benji just becomes a normal severed head. Joy.

Who is going around decapitating everything?

Anyway, we have a house along with a pen of a zombies. Believe it or not, that's the Pokecenter. Oh, and say hello to Alicia again.

Here we obtain something called the Mush Mask. There is supposed to be a person there but his sprite disappeared for some reason. As for what the Mush Mask does, I have no idea but I guess we're stuck with it now.

"But I think the demons got him. Where'd they take his HMs, I wonder? And what happened to his daughter?"

Believe it or not, this will become relevant in chapter 4. But anyway, let's go bother Alicia!

: "Sup, babe."

"Hmph. I'm surprised you got this far. I thought the demons I left behind in the woods would have taken you down."

: "What?! You're working with them?"

Alicia: "Didn't my trainer class give it away? I'm a Deathcaller, a servant of Lord Gravetric."

: "Who's that?"

Alicia: "Why should I tell YOU anything? But since my demons couldn't get rid of you, I guess I'll have to instead!"

Oh no, how can we possibly --

Alicia has some new Pokemon, but they are practically nothing compared to what you had to deal with to get here. Nor are they that big of a threat compared to the person who comes after her. You should be able to get rid of her arrogant ass easily.

Also, don't worry about all that Gravetric business. It won't come into play until much later on.

Future Dan: Do we ever get a proper person to attach this name to?

: ("You're lucky I don't use you as a scratching post, nya!")

[Theme that starts playing after you beat Alicia: May's theme (???)]

: "... Whatever. I've already called up a good number of demons. I'll just file my report back to Verdanturf."

... It just occurred to me that Alicia may have been an optional fight. But I'm pretty sure you were meant to talk to her regardless since she's the first non-zombie person in the area.

Besides, it's fun to kick her ass unlike everybody else here.

Do you want me to rip you apart like the other demons that got in the way?

By the way, I should really put in walk-through-walls to see if he's hiding anything in that house. Anyway, let's go to school!

Doing great. The Demon Horn is just the Quick Claw with a different name. That diary, however...

"We blocked the door today with Derek's corpse but it doesn't seem to do any good. However many times we block it up, the demons always try to eat their way through again... We're running out of food and guns... Elise was taken today. It's just me today. I'm going to do it. With the last bullet..."

... Good lord, Cutlerine. Wish we had more of this tragic writing in the actual game, but that's what you have me for, isn't it?

But now for some more plot!

???: Hm. He's late. This is not acceptable.

[Enter a demon corpse from the right]

Dantalion: "I apologize, master. This body is rather slow. It is a result, I believe, of the legs having been removed."

???: "Make sure you acquire another one soon. I will require you to be at your best when we challenge Them."

???: "DON'T mention their names! Being of such power as They can hear their names whispered over many miles. I don't wish to bring down their wrath upon us before we are ready."

Dantalion: "Yes, master."

???: "Be silent. Although I have cloaked us with a field of invisibility, the demons of this place will hear us if we do not keep our voices down. I have found the vessel that is summoning them, however. It is in a cave to the northeast of here. Together, we will dismantle it."

Dantalion: "Yes, master."

This is foreshadowing and all but trust me we will collectively slap our foreheads when we get there. Still, I do like a little bit of intrigue.

: "What was that? Who were they? Something about them felt familiar - is it possible that I've met them before? And how is it possible that I could see them when plainly nobody else could?.... I guess it doesn't matter. If they're going to stop these horrific demons, then they're my allies. I'd better go help them! I might even get some answers in the bargain!"

Oh Jack, you're so quick to trust a random stranger accompanied by a loyal demon corpse servant. Never change.

"..... Authorized Personnel only."

: "Whew. That was close. I almost went in somewhere where I wasn't meant to!"

Jack, you're a bit too law-abiding for your own good.

Go into the gym and you can get Rock Tomb. That's neat, I guess. Let's go into the house right next to the gym.

"This Hiker is dead. Someone has hollowed him out with their teeth from behind, so if you wanted to, you could get inside of him and wear him like a suit."

He contains a Zombie Liver, too. Which is just major

"Those zombies in the pen down there? They're food for us, dear. By the way, that's a lovely body you managed to get yourself. Not a scratch on it!"

: "Uh... yeah. Heheh."

So the demons eat the zombies and this guy thinks I'm a demon corpse too. Yeah sure ok, I'm just with it

Also, I think this is a good time for a new grinding session. Cause trust me, we will need it.

This guy has a Dirtkrow. Which is not that much of a problem anymore considering Ambes is properly leveled up.


Orobas (and Dantalion, considering we passed him up when he appeared) are both up next. Orobas is a Great Prince of Hell that essentially serves as an oracle as he knows all the answers and never decieves anyone. He is depicted as a horse that changes into a man at the conjurer's request. (he lost because he was a sissy)

Dantalion, on the other hand, is a Great Duke of Hell that teaches all arts and sciences and comes in many shapes and sizes. Which honestly I can buy because when we see Dantalion next time, he's not in a rotting old person body like the other dumb demons here.

However his companion, Kent the severed head, is much more of a pain in the ass. For you see, he has TWO EYE-EYES. And they both use Powder Snow 100% of the time. Wonderful.

Anyway, I decided to do a bit more talent searching and I came back with a very promising result.

: ("Ready for action, boss!")

His name is Ace, by the way. I took the screen capture before I put in the name. Sorry about that.

Alice, I'm afraid you're going to be benched.

: ("Wh-but why, nya! I thought I was doing such a good job!")

: "We need to switch the team around once in a while. It's nothing personal."

: ("Oh sure, that's what they always say...")

Sorry babe. You were a true credit to the team when you were around, but now it's Ace's time to shine. Speaking of him -

: ("I haven't even broken a sweat. Mind giving me a real challenge?")

He joined us at level five not even 10 minutes ago. THIS IS HOW QUICKLY HE DESTROYED EVERYTHING WHILE TRAINING. (admittedly speed-up helped too)

Such a promising start.

Go up to Route 115 aaand it's blocked off by a tree. That's how you know plot is in that direction. Let's not go there.

Let's instead meet up with the man with the red-colored text.

[He turns around]

: "Wha--?"

???: "Don't pretend to be confused. You can't fool me, even disguised as you are."

: "Who - Who are you? I've lost my memory. And you look familiar......"

???: "Very well. You may call me Gleis. It seems I have mistaken you for someone else. You must possess an uncommonly strong Second Sight in order to be able to see me - and I know only one other human that has that power. That is where my confusion arose from."

: "I overheard you earlier saying you were going to destroy that thing that was making the demons appear. And... I want to help. I came to look for my brother and his girlfriend, but an old woman tole me to drive the demons away. So I said I would and I'm going to. So let me help."

Gleis: "But I am not sure you are quite up to the task. If you please, may I test you first, to see if you may be of any aid?"

: "Of course!"

Gleis: "Then let us begin!"

Well, here we go. Gleis here is a Taoist. His trainer class is actually relevant in more than just face value and honestly I kind of like his sprite. Do not let your guard down as he could potentially be the absolute worst opponent so far, hands down.

: ("What the bloody hell is that thing!?")


Faceleech, oh my god. This thing is outright evil. See, it may be a one trick pony, but it's a nasty one trick.

See, Faceleech's main gimmick is that it's the purest definition of a glass cannon. This thing outspeeds Ambes, who is already pretty damn fast as he is. It could potentially sweep the entire team with a few Poison Fangs.

How are you supposed to beat it if it's so overpowered? See, Faceleech has excellent attack and speed growth (along with Speed Boost of all abilities) but its defenses and health are literally 1. Not even joking.

It is also / type.

: ("Try and get me with your facehole now, you overgrown slug!")

Ace used Quick Attack and it took down Faceleech almost instantly. Funny thing, I used Quick Attack with Ambes earlier but it wound up leaving Faceleech with just enough health to murder everybody. So as far as I'm concerned, this bird came right out of nowhere and saved the entire team.

Get Ace some Kamina Shades and a beer. He deserves it.

Even his text in battle is red. (i don't know what else to add, i'm still in shock)

: " I shall now heal your Pokemon."

[fade-to-black transition with healing sound effect]

Hey, he's honorable at the very least.

: "My servant, Dantalion, is waiting at the cave mouth to the east. I'll go and join him. When you have prepared yourself, please join us and I will explain what must be done."

And with that, I think that's a good spot to end off this update. Route 116 is up next and it shouldn't be that bad... right? See you then.

Current Team:

(Reggie, , Level 12, /) - "I'm feeling it my brothers, we're shaping up to be a pretty good team!"
(Bellamine, , Level 12, ) - "I don't like the look of that Gleis. He's not even trying to be trustworthy..."
(Ace, Level 15, , /) - "If you wanted anything less than the best, you should have picked another Taillow."
(Zagon, Level 13, , ) - [Shaking the blood from the various Eye-Eyes off of her fur]
(Ambes, Level 14, , ) - "Oh god, please let my family be safe..."
(Benedict, Level 9, /) - [shake, shake]

Post Edit Dan: If I'm not mistaken, this was the first time the team set-up was properly introduced.


Portrait Credits:

PMD Sprite Repository site: https://sprites.pmdcollab.org/

- Reggie (Paras & Parasect – Non-standard sprites are made by jackolanternjackalope. Parasect doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Bellamine (Kirlia & Gardevoir – Non-standard sprites are made by JFain and Ichor)

- Alice (Skitty & Delcatty – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron)

- Ace (Taillow & Swellow – Non-standard sprites are made by FunnyKecleonMeme and Caitemis)

- Ambes's portraits are all default ones

- Zagon (Zigzagoon & Linoone – Non-standard sprites are made by DasK. Linoone doesn’t have any new faces.)

- Benedict (Is an egg sprite made from scratch – made by Emboarger and ShyQuietRain)

Check out some of my screenshot LPs!:

Pokemon Snakewood Remaster (Complete) || Pokemon Dark Rising Remaster (On-going)

Rainbow Chara X

Impossible to gauge!

Age 27
Shiny Hunting in Sinnoh
Seen 3 Days Ago
Posted 4 Weeks Ago
120 posts
7.9 Years

This chapter title is more than just a reference.

Future Dan: Unintentional foreshadowing for later in the game? Would be my kind of luck, too.

Chapter 4 - Pride and Pestilence


Let's get to business already. There's a zombie fresh for experience hogging.

"It was once a zombie, but either Gleis or Dantalion has carefully removed all of its bones through its nose and now it can't move."

That's some Mortal Kombat fatality **** right there.

"It was once a zombie, but either Gleis or Dantalion has nailed it to the ground with its own amputated arm."

These guys are very effective, I'll give them that. At least this means I don't have to deal with as many headaches this episode.

Here's a Repel in case you don't want to deal with wild Mons. The area above us is completely sealed off for the moment, so let's not bother with it now.

"It was once a zombie, but either Gleis or Dantalion has buried its feet in the Earth and cut off its hands. Now it is stuck and wobbles in a comical manner."

On one hand I feel like laughing but on the other hand I feel pity for the damn thing.

"It was once a zombie, but Gleis has torn its face off and tied its brain to a tree root. You know it was Gleis who did it because its head is covered in Faceleech spit."

Nasty. Faceleech was evil when we fought it, but I'll give it this. It's super metal.

Also, Ace got into a fight offscreen and lost to another Taillow. Amazing.

: ("Not my best showing, hah...")

"It's a strange demonic creature like a snail, except it uses this man's corpse as its shell. It looks like it's going to move very, very slowly."

... Just roll with it. It'll get out of the way eventually. For now we have more pressing matters.

It's a blue-haired athlete dude.

: "Ye-yes?"

???: "I am Dantalion, servant of the one you call Gleis."

Dantalion: "Yes I have. What do you think of this one, by the way? Does it suit me?"

He's hitting on Jack like a goddamn wrecking ball.

: "... Yeah, sure."

Dantalion: "Thanks. Anyway, the Master has instructed me to remain outside and keep a lookout. He wants you to go inside - I shouldn't keep him waiting if I were you."

: "Ok. Thanks, Dantalion."

I don't even know what to say about this.

is that a new grinding session i smell

"Come over here and we'll talk further."

Huh. Let's talk to the girl before we do anything.

"This girl's eyes glow a soft silver. She murmurs unintelligible nothings under her breath. The words are red and shudder angrily in her mouth."

That's legitimately unnerving. What the hell even happened to her?

[Current Audio: Elite Four Appears]

"Then I shall tell you. One sets up a suitable vessel for the demons to flow through from the Pit, and then one casts the appropriate spell. This girl here is the vessel - she is channeling the demons through. If I can break the spell on her, no more demons will appear."

: "So what do I do?"

I don't know why it took me until now to question why demons are a thing in Pokemon, but... eh?

"When the demons in the Pit sense their portal to this world being closed, they will flock towards it in the hopes of getting through before it closes. I need you to beat them back before they can get through."

: "Y... you're serious. Okay. I'm ready when you are."

Oh no. What did we get ourselves into?

[White flash followed by two more]

Landon: "May? Oh she's gone shopping in Slateport with her friend Elise - you know, the Cut Man's daughter.

[White flash]

: "Are you quite alright, Jack? You appear to be swaying slightly."

: "Yeah, I'm fine I think. It was just a little flashback... I remembered who this girl was. She's the Cut Man's daughter - I remember her. I'm ready to go now!"

: "Very well. I'll begin work on breaking the spell."

Oh christ, here we go. What is it going to be?

I... what. Let's dissect what we're looking at here. It's a messily put together red guy with Brock's eyes, a Groudon claw and a Zangoose claw. Wearing black pants.

Wow, the demon corpses looked a lot scarier. I know this hack does not exactly contain the best sprite quality, but Cutlerine could have gotten creative and made the demon guys like super-hell Pokemon or something. Instead we got this weird half-way thing? I dunno, man.

Belial here has two Anorith, though. Why that Pokemon of all things I'll never know, but apparently Anorith are the spawn of the devil now. Also, I mulled it over and gave Grasswhistle to Reggie. Surprisingly, it worked.

However, it woke up on the switch to Bellamine (the Anorith know Harden - physicals be damned) so it wasn't that great.

Now here's something funny. They know Mud Sport, just in case you decided to bring in a Pikachu. And the only other person that has a good chance of hurting this thing was Ace. So technically Bellamine saved the day for this fight.

Not that it was much of a threat to begin with.

: "It was something by the general meaning of: 'I dislike you intensely."

I don't like you either, Belial.

Awww here we go. This has to be promising.

... It's literally the same guy but with a different name!

Second verse same as the first with the fight too, cause they both have the same Pokemon. Also, demonology.

Belial is a King of Hell (#68 in the Lesser Key of Solomon) and was created as the first spirit after Lucifer. He has the power to distribute senatorships and gives excellent familiars. He must be presented with offerings, sacrifices and gifts, or else he will not give true answers to demands. So you could describe him as basically a super-competent hiring guy.

Asmodeus, on the other hand, is another King of Hell (#32). His appearance is something that Cutlerine could have really taken advantage of, as Asmodeus is described as "strong, powerful and appears with three heads; the first is like a bull, the second like a man, and the third like a ram; the tail of a serpent, and from his mouth issue flames."

Like imagine that instead of this Brock-wannabe with a Groudon claw.

Bellamine politely shows them the way back into Hell.

: ("What are you talking about, Jack? These are the easiest fights we've been in so far.")

: ("I know, but this could get nasty if we keep going so let's just stop here.")

: ("I understand.")

: "I have almost completed the required spell, Jack. Give me a moment more... There! Done it!"

[Elise blinks in and out of existence before disappearing entirely]

: "It would appear that she was consumed by the energy released from the ending of the spell. It is just as well. If she had not absorbed it, the energy would have killed us."

Oh god, we killed her.

... Not that it matters that much given she was a minor character that didn't exist before this scene.

: "We will meet again some day."

[Fade to black]

: "Still, I suppose I can't expect driving out demons to be a bed of roses. Now that they're driven out, I should continue my search for my brother and May. Maybe someone in Verdanturf knows something about them."

Like I said. Jack's reactions to everything are appropriate for the situation and that's why I like him.

Also, thank god the game actually signposts us towards where we have to go - a disturbing amount of actual RPG Maker developers that still haven't figured that out and Cutlerine was doing it better here at age 16.

I couldn't resist.

Not sure if Pumbloom is going to be used at all, but Exploud is pretty badass. So I'll keep him in mind.

You can get a Max Ether here.

Again, I don't recommend ever using these as they're part of the too-good-to-use club. Let's make our way to Verdanturf and see what's been changed.

[Current Audio: Verdanturf Town]

Yeah, no kidding. This place got destroyed. I should also mention that Verdanturf has always been one of those songs that really touch my heart, so to hear it to this scene where the town is practically a crater makes me kinda sad.

It's like a shadow of its former self.

[White flash]

: "What's with this flashback? They don't usually hurt as much - Aagh!"

Pestilence: "Ha! The boot is on the other foot now! I knew you couldn't stand against us. And now all that's left is to bid you... adieu!"

[Extended white flash]

: "What was that?"

Damn, Jack, you must have taken a real fumble if you wound up there. I'm surprised he doesn't have any bruises.

"I'll bring you to my boss."

She has a boss? Are we at Gravetric already?

Oh. Never mind.

: "You're - you're Pestilence! But... from where do I know you? And why can't I remember anything about you other than your name?"

Pestilence: "YOU! What are YOU doing here? I thought you were dead, destroyed along with that deadbeat town... But wait. You say you only remember my name?"

I love how nonchalantly Jack says this after Pestilence just said "I thought you were dead" and the fact that her name is PESTILENCE. He's either not caring or having an incredible lapse of logic. It's the latter, I'm afraid.

Pestilence: "At least I had some success. I may have not killed you, but the impact appears to have at least erased your memory. Needless to say -"

Pestilence: "Pestilence, the only female member of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, cannot afford any loose ends!"

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?

Cutlerine, out of everything you could have picked from the pre-existing mythos of Pokemon available to you during Gen 4, you went with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? He really wanted to make a more typical dark fantasy story.

I mean, come on, dude. At least make them Pokemon if you're going to do this!

Her sprite is blech too, but I guess it fits since she's supposed to be... sickly, I dunno.

Pestilence being the horseman of disease would explain why she has like two of these. Also, I think the zombification of Grimer made it even more gross looking. But guess what? It's still just Poison type.

: ("Disgusting!")

This woman is absolutely stealing the show today. That's my girl.

Pestilence's Pokemon, aside from the Moulders, is this Qwilfish. Don't be fooled - this is actually not Qwilfish.

It is in fact Tentacool with a Qwilfish reskin. This will become much more relevant as time passes. Also, she's pretty hard if you don't properly train up a Pikachu as demonstrated by the beating she left on Ambes.

They're called grinding sessions, babe. Villains could benefit from doing them too.

(I say this while knowing what comes next.)

: "No matter. We shall leave this base for now and build ourselves another one. Come, Alicia!"

[She walks offscreen]

"Please forgive me for attacking you all those times, but... Times have changed. I work for the Horsemen now and I can't show you any mercy. I won't fight you this time, but next time I'll go all out against you."

I do not buy this for one second.

: "... It's no use. She's not coming back."

What was Jack even going to ask Alicia? I'm curious now.

"What is going on here? How do all these people know me? And why can't I remember anything about them?"

[White flash]

: "Wait a minute. What's that?"

: "I remember what this is!"

Hot damn, we finally get a Pokedex!

"Is this my brother's? He had one, I think. No, wait. He had completed his, I seem to remember. May had one that she didn't finish, didn't she? So this is hers! But what was Pestilence doing with May's Pokedex? Hm... I probably stand a good chance of finding out if I continue on my search. For now, I'll use this Pokedex myself."

Cool. With that revelation, let's actually use our brand new Pokedex.

Let's look up Ralts to see the earliest possible place we can pick one up.


Man, now I'm glad I cheated to get Bellamine. I am not waiting until we get to there of all places.

I should mention that Verdanturf has some really weird thing going on where the exit pointer constantly shows up as you face down but there's no exit that goes to the south. I guess he just didn't want people to get confused by this layout or something.

"The zombie appears to have been made completely dizzy by the heat of the lava. Its dry body is on the verge of catching on fire, so you'd better move away."

I'm really glad Cutlerine didn't make zombie Pokemon that explode. Because that would have been disgusting.

"This Charizard appears to be enjoying the heat here. You think about catching it, but as it has a collar around its neck, you decide it belongs to someone, and leave it alone."

Jack being a goody two-shoes again. Do you know the damage we can cause with a Charizard, man?!

Feh. Let's go into this cave.


This isn't a cave.

"Welcome to Endless Plains. Thank you for visiting and please stay within the force field."

I admit it's much more deserving of the Verdanturf music than the actual town now, but... Where the hell are we? Were we teleported here?

Also, even though it's called Endless Plains, this map isn't that much bigger than a house. I guess that's just how much the "force-field" covers.

Sweet. Now we can progress through the route above Rustboro.

My main man Larry always has the goods.

Back on Route 116, the demon snail with a man-shell has moved out of the way. If this was any other game, it... would still sound kinda weird.

"This man has had his brains delicately scooped out through a hole in his skull the size of a ten pence piece. You are beginning to suspect that the zombies have an unusual sense of style when it comes to killing people."

Almost comically uncharacteristic for the zombies that we've seen so far. It must have been a much more powerful kind of zombie. Also,

He gives us the Snakewood equivalent of the Amulet Coin. That's alright, I suppose.

As we try to leave the Route, we get called by Birch.

"Hey, Jack, it's me! Listen, I've got news for you. I managed to reprogram an old military satellite and have got a working connection with Dewford Town. Because it's an island, it appears they're completely unaffected by the plague."

: "That's cool and all, Prof, but what does any of this have to do with me?"

"Your brother and May were seen in Dewford a few weeks ago. You should go and investigate."

: "Okay. How do I get there?"

"Here's the tricky bit. You'll need HM Surf and a Balance Badge to get there. I don't know where you can find the HM, but I know there's a couple of survivors from Norman's gym. I think they might have a badge or two lying around - look for them around Rustboro and ask."

: "Okay. Will do. See you, Birch."

: "I'll call you later. See you, Jack."

Alright, we have a definite mini-goal to reach. Cool, cool. Although it's pretty obvious Landon or May are still not on Dewford.

Upon coming into this route, there's completely nothing on the left. Well, nothing we can do without Surf just yet.

Go to the right and you get a Super Potion and some Bluk berries if you have the crazy idea to do Pokeblocks in this hack.

(spoiler alert: You can't. Neither them or contests are in Snakewood, which makes sense.)

Uh? That's not right. I didn't use cheats this time either, so that's a legitimate map error.

"Hey! This dead guy's got a Pokeball on him. Let's see what it contains."

Okay, hold the phone.

Jack wasn't comfortable with stealing three Pokemon that were in the middle of nowhere, but he's perfectly fine with looting off of dead peoples' bodies? What kind of sense does that make?

(So glad Sun and Moon did away with this mechanic, by the way)

There we go. I would use Magikarp... if I were predictable, but the thing it has is much more important.

(By the way I like Gyarados but I feel the spot for this adventure would be better filled up by something else, preferably one of the new Fakemon)

We give it to Zagon because she's the most useful HM Slave Pokemon on the team.

Also, I don't know what to do with Benedict. All it knows is Leech Life. Maybe it should get the bench after this episode? I dunno.

Also, hello zombie (ghost) girl. She has a zombie Ivysaur and that's all fine and good.

However, she also has something much worse.


Charmeworm () here is basically an upgraded Rotmander, with all of the things that made the first one hard to deal with. He also has Smokescreen, which makes trying to hit him an absolutely lovely experience.

I like that he has the Charizard shiny colors, at least.

I did not prepare for him, so Zagon got kicked out of the fight. Poor gal.

But Ace gets to show off his skills once again.

Ah yes, the sound that I just made after seeing that sprite again.

Rock Smash? Well, I'll keep this in mind for later.

Huh. There's a lady here that doesn't have a mangled sprite. Let's talk to her.

"I'm the only trainer left alive from Petalburg Gym. That makes me the Gym Leader and means I need to uphold its honor by defeating you!"

Bring it on.

The Gym Leader theme isn't playing, by the way. That's a bit lame.

RUDE CRUDE DUDES ALERT (for real this time)

Christ almighty. Zangoose doesn't just look threatening - she can absolutely rip you apart with a Swords Dance boost. It's a pretty heinous strategy for this early in the game, and it makes Zangoose as strong as Faceleech in some regards.

There was also a Delcatty as the second Pokemon. Cute Charm wound up being really annoying, but I don't have much to say as she got criticaled by Reggie. I did have an Alice joke in there to make, but I didn't feel like it would work.

Regardless of any fallacies on my part, Laura falls.

: ("Not so tough, eh mon?")

She gives us the Balance Badge!

But no TM though. She said she could only escape with the badges so that's a shame.

"Now, go and prove I wasn't just weak! Go and beat some zombies!"

: "You don't have to tell me twice."

Alright, sweet. Now that we have the Balance Badge, we can use surf now. But wait a second, let's take a look at our team.

: ("Oh.")


There we go, much better. But take a note, everybody: If an enemy has used Swords Dance at least twice, drop the fight and run away. There is no shame in it.

Cutlerine changed the surfing message too. Although it may not make sense now, we'll be surfing on more than just water in this game. Just trust me.

With that said... Next time on Pokemon Snakewood, we'll be heading to Dewford.

Team set-up:

: (Reggie, level 16, has Leftovers, , /) - "You alright there, fellas?"
(Bellamine, level 17, , ) - "We should be fine, Reggie. That Nurse Joy knew what she was doing."
(Zagon, level 14, , ) - "Whee!" [doggy paddles hard enough to carry Jack around]
(Ambes, level 16, , ) - "At least the zombies can't get us here. Maybe I should cool off by fighting some water type Pokemon."
(Ace, level 17, has Anadrin Talon, , /) - [Keeping a lookout]
(Benedict, level 9, /) - [Doing egg things]
(Alice, level 10, , ) - "How dare they leave me behind!"


Portrait Credits:

PMD Sprite Repository site: https://sprites.pmdcollab.org/

- Reggie (Paras & Parasect – Non-standard sprites are made by jackolanternjackalope. Parasect doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Bellamine (Kirlia & Gardevoir – Non-standard sprites are made by JFain and Ichor)

- Alice (Skitty & Delcatty – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron)

- Ace (Taillow & Swellow – Non-standard sprites are made by FunnyKecleonMeme and Caitemis)

- Ambes's portraits are all default ones

- Zagon (Zigzagoon & Linoone – Non-standard sprites are made by DasK. Linoone doesn’t have any new faces.)

- Benedict (Is an egg sprite made from scratch – made by Emboarger and ShyQuietRain)

Check out some of my screenshot LPs!:

Pokemon Snakewood Remaster (Complete) || Pokemon Dark Rising Remaster (On-going)

Rainbow Chara X

Impossible to gauge!

Age 27
Shiny Hunting in Sinnoh
Seen 3 Days Ago
Posted 4 Weeks Ago
120 posts
7.9 Years

Oh snap, a double update. One of these being a fun little side chapter and the other is actual advancement.

Chapter 3.5 - Unwelcome (Gameshark Fun)


3.5 is more of a bonus episode than anything because nothing that happens in here should be considered part of the actual let's play.

We last left Jack and his merry crew on the entrance to Route 116. However, since I felt like it, I bestowed him a new but temporary power.


That's right, we're going to use the walk-through-walls code to go places where we're not supposed to be. It's gonna be a show today, folks.

Remember this building that Jack was too much of a coward to go in? Let's break some rules.

Where the hell did we just wind up? We went from the outside of an ornate building to a depressing looking submarine place. Turns out this is an area we're not supposed to be at for another few updates. Whoops.

With that said, let's visit that stupid demon corpse that blocked our way into that house.

Don't think I forgot, either.

Uh? This house looks normal. Surely those two must be horribly mutilated corpses.

... No, they're completely fine. They even give us beginner advice and everything. They must be some very lucky survivors or Cutlerine just didn't want to go through the effort of hacking this house.

You ever wonder what it would be like to live in a world of monsters like Pokemon? 'Cause now that that's crossed my mind, I think it's a very interesting question.

"What's hard? You have to ask? It's trying to figure out what to make for meals every day. It really isn't easy coming up with meals every day."

I love how in a zombie apocalypse setting, this unchanged dialogue makes everything much, much chintzier than it actually is.

Honestly, this is the problem my mom has almost all of the time. Sometimes she just orders fast food instead of cooking dinner. Or I have to cook food myself for everybody.

: "Oh god I'm in a closed off area surrounded by zombies!"

: "... Wh.. what the hell?"

Sentient talking zombies! They're becoming more intelligent!

... Actually, no.

These are just NPCs that have the zombie overworld sprites but their lines are completely unedited from the vanilla game. Cutlerine didn't plan on you using walk-through-walls to communicate with them.

But now that we are talking with them, it makes everything either more horrifying or more silly depending on your perspective.

The same thing applies to these kids. They just spout stuff about Pokemon evolving. I honestly don't know what Cutlerine was going for when he put them running back and forth here. At least the zombie pen had a bit of an explanation.

Back in the house where fought Orobas and Kent (*shiver*), I never went to investigate these stairs.

"These stairs are broken and don't look safe to climb. Also there are skulls scattered on them."

It doesn't take you anywhere. Aww.

Cut to Petalburg, and it turns out that the door leads to the gym like it's supposed to. But wait, something doesn't feel right here. The bastard-o-meter is going off the charts. Let's go into a room.

Oh hey, there's zombies here too. I wonder what Pokemon she has?

: ("GWAK!")


Oh god. That nearly gave me a heart attack the first time I saw it. I can definitely see why Cutlerine sealed the place off, christ.

Now that we're in Oldale though, let's slip through this pesky blockade.

Huh. There's a lady there along with a path on the right.

"He'll be dead now, of course. No one survived here. Sob... I don't need this anymore..."


By the way I have no idea when this is supposed to happen. But at the very least we got it out of the way now while the zombie apocalypse is still relevant.

While we're at it, let's go appraise the Broken Heart item.

... Larry. I know it's an organ but can you do me a solid, please?

But let's be real here. Cutlerine, you put in an object called the Broken Heart that can't be sold nor does it do anything when used. It's cute and all, but all it does it clog up space. Thankfully you can just dump away the Broken Heart. I wouldn't want to keep it anyway, cause ewww.

EDIT: Upon further inspection, it does have a use. I just didn't discover it at this point.


Future Dan speaks: This is amazing foreshadowing.

I should mention that walk-through-walls is actually limited. See, you can go through things just fine, but if you hit an NPC or something that has a solid border (like where you would normally surf to get onto the water) it doesn't work. Going through otherwise inaccessible areas like the trees help you get back to normal ground, however.

There are also invisible walls at the edges of every map, so you can't just walk into game crashes (Gen 1's glitch grass on Route 1) or enter a weird glitch dimension with ****ed up music (every time you go out of bounds in Gen 2)

I should also mention that there are still wild encounters even as you're walking on the water, so don't get too excited.

Back on Route 101, there was this house next to the Broken Heart lady. It's the Trick Master's house, but the sad Abandoned Ship music (a song that I've loved ever since I heard it, by the way ) is playing instead. I don't like the look of this.

But let's not worry about that. Let's get yelled at by Cutlerine as we try to leave.

Booming Disembodied Voice: "The time is not yet right, Jack. Leave this place at once!"

: "Er... okay."

Alrighty then. Well, that's pretty much the end of this little mini-update. I'm not going to put up the team display because none of these bonus episodes are canon.

Chapter 5 - The Dragon King


Since I felt the team was a bit unsuited to what was coming up ahead, I did a grinding session before the update started. Everybody's just a bit more badass than they were before.

There's also nothing up in the area where you fought Laura, by the way - it's cut off by boulders. Rockblocked, you may say.

... Yeah, I'll stop

Go back here and you get a Caramac. Cutlerine changed every stat-boosting item to a kind of confectionery treat. I like the idea even if it means we'll wind up with cavities by the end of this.

In the forest you can get a Great Ball and a few X-boosting battle items. It's not really that much of a prize, but what the hell let's just go with it.

Back to our regularly scheduled program, we were surfing to go to Dewford. In the water here you can find Qwilfish, Wingull and Pelipper. Pelipper in particular give a ton of EXP (390+!) so they're practically invaluable if you're going to grind in the water areas.

Also, new team member. Say hello to Ballin', who was also inspired by Haydunn's Nuzlocke of Snakewood. Ballin, much like Zagon, gets a buff in this hack as opposed to the real games. Just wait and see until what it is.

This swimmer lady here has a Sealeo of all things. Not too terribly threatening. Plus, I like how because of the water there are no zombies to bother anybody.

: ("Of all the rotten luck!")



Let us never speak of this again. This swimmer lady asks you "Why did I fight you, again?" when you beat her, which is the question that everybody in the Pokemon games should ask.

"I'm swimming to Dewford for safety, but I guess I can stop and have a battle. I mean, there's no zombies after us, after all!"

She has two Wailmer, by the way. They're less of a threat and more giant experience pinatas. One of them doesn't even attack, either!

"What am I supposed to do now that you've KO'ed my Pokemon?"

: "Then maybe you shouldn't have fought me if you knew that would have been a problem?"

"So I decided to become a pirate instead!"

But all you have to do is hose 'em with seawater and they die. The zombies are not that hard to kill, dude. Also, hey a new trainer class.

... Which just uses Drake's sprite. At least it fits.

Would you look at that. See, another change that Cutlerine included is that while he didn't exactly tinker regarding the zombified Pokemon aside from sprites, he did switch types around for the more conventional Pokemon. For example, Meowth and Persian are now /.

I dunno, that's kinda cool to me.

Future Dan: (He also predicted the future because Alolan Meowth/Persian would be Dark type.)

: [Happy egg noises]

But even better is that Benedict actually killed something on his (its? It's an egg - we don't know what it actually is yet) own! The first thing they beat and it's a / Meowth. I would have never guessed, to be totally honest.


Persian here is awfully strong due to the STAB-boosted Crunch he has. Also, the tendency he has to critical with Slash is not favorable. Thankfully if you chose Paras or just... any Bug Pokemon in general, this shouldn't be that bad to deal with.

: ("Ya, lookin' a bit rough there.")

This isn't just some random unique trainer class reserved for one guy, either. These guys show up multiple times in the next town we're going. And that you are, mate.

"Haha! Don't worry, we can't be attacked here. Since we're safe, how about a battle like trainers used to have?"

... You know, maybe it's just because I'm a sap but that line kinda hit me. Like remember, no matter how crazy this story gets with all the irrelevant stuff Cutlerine puts into it, it is still taking place in a destroyed Hoenn region. Which kinda tugs at my heartstrings.

Future Dan: Yes, you are a sap.

That aside, this dude had a Carvanha that Benedict managed to overpower.

I know last episode I said I was going to bench them, but now more than ever I know that's a bad idea.

... We get another Broken Heart. Alright, these things must be like the Heart Scales of this hack. It doesn't make any sense why you can't sell them or use them normally otherwise.

Now that we're actually on Dewford, we find a Riesen aka. a Protein.

Zagon gets it because she's going to need it.

Let's go ask around to see if there's anything of interest.

"The TV Station is no longer broadcasting... I guess all the people got eaten."

Yeah, when you think about it from Dewford's perspective, the entire Hoenn region is falling apart. I would be absolutely horrified for anybody that still lived on the mainland, honestly.

"This Plus Band... It was a gift from my girlfriend, Laura. She worked at Norman's gym... She's probably dead now. I don't want it anymore..."


: "Don't worry pal, she's still alive and kicking. She almost kicked my ass, to be frank. She can handle herself."

It will look absolutely fabulous on Zagon at the very least. Especially when she rouges it with the blood of her enemies.

"There're rumors that when Groudon awoke three years ago that the sunlight it summoned stayed in Granite Cave, and that's why you don't need Flash in there anymore."

THANK THE LORD. This is honestly a cool bit of exposition, though.

"Those who have surfed or swam over here have told us terrible stories about the mainland."

See what I mean? Let's go to Dewford Hall.

"I hear there's a monster in Solar Caverns. At least, when anyone goes near, we think we hear something roaring."

I'll keep that in mind when we get shooed away from entering the cave early.

: "The zombies are utter nightmares, man! You'd be lucky to make it out of a battle. Just trust me."

"Oh. It's just a startingly ugly painting."

I know it's just a few pixels, but it doesn't look that bad.

"I'm still watching TV, even though the TV Station's no longer broadcasting... Sigh. I don't even like watching TV."

I can relate, as I don't like watching TV either. It's sort of why I stick to Youtube for entertainment nowadays, to be honest.

"No, no, no! These are trainers who've escaped the zombie plague. They're too traumatized and tired to talk with you... Damn, I'm thirsty."

Bruh, I don't even want to talk with the trainers. I just want to get the item you have in there. I think you have to give him a lemonade or something to let you pass. I dunno.

"I saw it! A huge monster flying overhead! Why does no one believe me?"

Given how everybody's making a fuss about a monster in the cave, why wouldn't they believe this kid? Logic.

Let's try to go into the Solar Cave, actually.

[Venusaur cry]

: "Whatever's in there, I don't want to enter."

Admittedly, if I heard something like that in real life, I'd be a bit disinclined to enter too, but we could probably kick its ass. I am absolutely fearless/reckless.

"I train with my Makuhita on the beach every day in the hope of emulating its unstoppable Arm Thrust!"

Arm Thrust? Well, different strokes for different folks...

Your name is Smash Shot?!

Why would your parents name you th-- then again, the default name for our main hero had a lovely range between Wraith, Shade, Dark, etc. I don't know why Norman would choose those names for his oldest son, so... Jack is best.

Smash here has two Makuhita, which were relatively easy to take out. So much for unstoppable Arm Thrust.

However, he does have this badass. Hitmontop has always been one of those Pokemon that have been a mystery to me. It's one that I could never be able to obtain in the real games because the qualification of having both Attack and Defense be equal is one that I don't know how you would do.

Even without Triple Kick and all of that being effective, look at how much damage it did to Bellamine. Just imagine the pain everybody else would have gone through!

Wait, what?

: ("Nobody can catch up to me now, haha!")


This is a sign of good things to come.

"That's my son out training on the beach. Did you know that before he tried Arm Thrust, he learned how to do Ice Punch? No? Well, he made it into a TM. I want you to have it!"

awwwww snap

What a generous town. I love these people.

"The Leader here used to be a guy called Brawly. He used the Fighting type. But since he got promoted to the Kahuto Elite Four, we've got a new girl. She's way stronger than Brawly was."

He got promoted to the Elite Four of another region? That's... interesting, I suppose. At least he didn't die or something.

Into the Gym and oh no

it's dark like in vanilla

this is gonna blow

"I'm the Advisor. I'm no Trainer, no not me, but I can sure give you winning advice! So listen: Haruko uses the Dark-type. It's a fragile type that won't take a Fighting type move, but can deal out massive damage with their rapacious talons and big teeth."

Well, this is actually a bit interesting. Cutlerine changed the Fighting type gym to be Dark type instead... which genuinely makes the lighting gimmick make more sense? I dunno.

As for the leader: Haruko? Where have I heard that name before? It sure hasn't been in an anime, no sir.

First trainer we fight in the dark is Rocker Tyrone. It's a Dark-type gym, so just what can he throw at us?


That's right, folks. Aside from putting in new Fakemon, Cutlerine also included Pokemon from later generations. It may not be a new idea, but I like that it mixes things up.

Have I mentioned how cute Shinx are?

But uh-oh, this guy has a Luxio too. To be honest it's not that hard of a fight as the Luxray family is / type now.

: ("Not half bad.")

ESPECIALLY as Reggie's Leech Life rips this guy's health out like a mint-colored milkshake.

Wow, another one already? That grinding really paid off.

she's beautiful

These guys are also in the gym. Film Students are a trainer class that reference something later in the game, mostly around Fortree. The pirate guys carry around Persians and Meowths as usual.

The thing is, though? Now that Zagon is a Linoone with the Plus Band equipped, everything she headbutts just dies. Like unironic one-hit kills. And this isn't even her final form!

pirate power. what is this, one piece

We finally reach Haruko, though. I swear that name is from somewhere really iconic.

Future Dan speaks: Give him a minute, guys.

"Ah! You must be Jack. My trainers have been warning me you're strong. Unfortunately I can't battle you just yet. I need you to do a favor for me. You see, there have been rumors lately that there's something nasty at the bottom of Solar Caverns, and I'd like you to investigate. When you come back, I'll fight you. Is that ok?"

So Haruko won't fight Jack just because of the monster in the cave. At the very least it's not some super huge chain deal quest just to have a fight with the gym leader.

Jack, your optimism is contagious.

Cut to the cave, and suddenly we're going in now. Good thing we don't need Flash to navigate this place. Flash is a dumb idea in the actual game anyway. Why would you need to use your own Flash if there's other people in the cave with you?

At least have it be dark in places where you're the only person there.

"Whew... I barely made it out of there alive. There's something down there, kid. Something real nasty. I don't even wanna think about it."

Well ****. We're already in here, let's keep going. The plot demands it.

: ("Hoho, a trainer! Let's see if you can handle me.")

Literally a few steps later and I run into a Makuhita. I named him Tohru after the Jackie Chan Adventures guy. I like that show, actually, even if it's a bit formulaic.

[Rayquaza roar]

Oh no. I don't like the sound of that, especially as we don't have any good Ice or Dragon types.

A minute didn't even pass yet. We know something's there, dude.

The **** is that?

This is one of the new Fakemon Cutlerine made from scratch. Honestly, I don't like it. It's a boring design and it's not that good a Pokemon, either. Despite that, expect to see Hombone in practically every route after this.

Future Dan: Klawf is literally just this Fakemon but with an actual design.

You have this big stone pedestal for an item ball... and it's just a regular Pokeball. What a troll.

[White flash]

???: "GRAAAAAAAOOOOOGH! Our contract is terminated!"

Apparently, Jack has memories of interacting with something other than the dead and the Horsemen. Also, I know it's not the same as the screencap, but trust me. The person(?) talking needs a different color than Landon.

The next room over, we have an item blocked off with Rock Smash rocks. A shame we don't actually have it now.

[Another Rayquaza roar]

[Very quick image of what looks like a discolored Charizard pops up]

I don't know either, Jack. It popped up so fast I couldn't even take a screencap of it.

The rock contains a Neverstone (ho ho) which is pretty much just the Everstone but with never instead.

Before we head any further, let's do something first.

In hindsight, this makes a lot of sense considering how he was frozen earlier. It is his destiny.

[Flash of light accompanied by Rayquaza roar (x2) and discolored picture again]

: "Uhh... What is this? What is this thing I'm remembering? And what is this contract?.... I guess the only way to find out is to continue."

Jack, we have to do this anyway otherwise we don't get to fight Haruko.

[Jack runs in and looks around]

: "That's odd. There doesn't seem to be anyone here..."

[Yet more Rayquaza roars, accompanied by a flash of light]

: "Huh? What... what is this?"

Since there's no special music playing for this encounter, use this theme instead.

: "Our contract is terminated, human! We have joined the Horsemen now.

[White flash]

: "I... I remember you now. You're Meteor... the Dragon King."

That sounds pretty badass, actually. The sprite may look kind of barfy now, but sometimes it can become this eye-bleeding rainbow-colored mess due to glitches. I was fortunate to get the actual colors for this screenshot.

: "Yes, I am Meteor. I thought Pestilence had arranged for your death?"

Good Uno Reverse, Jack.

: "I suppose I will have to finish the job that she could not complete."

Bring it on, you overgrown lizard.

: "Do you really have to preface every sentence with a roar? It's really startling... and getting kind of annoying."

[Rayquaza roar SFX plays again]

: "Silence! I will eradicate you!"

Meteor looks pretty great... even if his sprite is just shiny Charizard. Also, since he doesn't have a specific music track, just use this song instead.

He sends out what I assume must be the jester of his court of dragons due to looking far less impressive.

Don't let your guard down, though - this guy hurts quite a bit, especially if you didn't train up. Meteor also has an emergency Super Potion if you manage to get his lackey into the red.

Zagon got toasted by this guy's Dragonbreath, so it's up to Ambes to save the day. By the way, this is before the Super Potion gets used.

: ("I've got to do this! Can't be scared now!")

: ("ORA!!")

: ("... I did it!? No way!")

Funny thing, in practice, Ambes actually lost and Bellamine had to do the finishing blow. But then Ice Punch wouldn't have been shown and Ambes really needs this moment.

With that, Meteor goes down.

: "GYAAUOOOOOOOH! We will meet again, mark my words. I may not be able to destroy this town right now, but I'll be back soon enough!"

[Flash of light, followed by Meteor disappearing with another roar]

"What power is it that I lost? Argh, it's so confusing!.... I'd better tell Haruko about this.'

... I feel you, buddy. Besides, you and the guys are pretty damn strong as it is. The team has flown above and beyond in this episode alone.

On your way out, you can get Sunny Day. Appropriate, I guess, considering it's called the Solar Caverns and all.

Next time on Pokemon Snakewood, we fight the Gym Leader. And boy is it going to be an experience.


Team setup:

(Reggie, level 19, , has Leftovers, /) - [Chilling out under the sun]
(Bellamine, level 22, , ) - [Having a nice walk on the beach]
(Zagon, level 23, , ) - [Ecstatic about evolving]
(Ambes, level 23, , ) - "Holy hot damn I really just punched out a dragon!"
(Ace, level 22, has Anadrin Talon, , /) - "You sure gave him a shiner there! Best part was seeing how smug he was until you smashed his face in."
(Benedict, level 15, /) - [Rolls around the beach]
(Alice, level 12, , ) - "Yay, I'm finally out of that stupid box!"

(Tohru, Pumbloom & Ballin are all on standby)
Portrait Credits:

PMD Sprite Repository site: https://sprites.pmdcollab.org/

- Reggie (Paras & Parasect – Non-standard sprites are made by jackolanternjackalope. Parasect doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Bellamine (Kirlia & Gardevoir – Non-standard sprites are made by JFain and Ichor)

- Alice (Skitty & Delcatty – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron)

- Ace (Taillow & Swellow – Non-standard sprites are made by FunnyKecleonMeme and Caitemis)

- Tohru (Makuhita & Hariyama – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron. Hariyama doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Ambes's portraits are all default ones

- Zagon (Zigzagoon & Linoone – Non-standard sprites are made by DasK. Linoone doesn’t have any new faces.)

- Benedict (Is an egg sprite made from scratch – made by Emboarger and ShyQuietRain)


- Meteor (Shiny version of Charizard – made by Adrian, SuperFabbioGuy and Murpi )

Check out some of my screenshot LPs!:

Pokemon Snakewood Remaster (Complete) || Pokemon Dark Rising Remaster (On-going)

Rainbow Chara X

Impossible to gauge!

Age 27
Shiny Hunting in Sinnoh
Seen 3 Days Ago
Posted 4 Weeks Ago
120 posts
7.9 Years

A fair amount of the new updates from now on will be bulk uploads. Spoiler tags are incredibly useful for this.

Chapter 6 - Seaside Trouble


: ("They're gonna be getting the snips now.")

We are NOT messing around this update, folks.

Let's get this party started.

: "Yeah. There was a group of dragons there. Apparently they came with the zombies."

Haruko: "I knew it! I'll have to get the old anti-air gun working again. Anyway, thanks. Now, show me your true power!"

Awwwwww yeah.

Screw the gym leader theme. This is where it's at.

It's Haruko from FLCL. And while her sprite looks a bit... sketchy, it's fine. That aside, Haruko is probably the toughest opponent you'll probably face so far and by god is the fight cool except for one last Mon. It's the longest fight so far standing at 20 screenshots.

She sends out a few fodder Mon, but don't be fooled by that Sneasel. It can Ice Punch you something fierce.


Absol and Luxray are the most dangerous Pokemon you'll probably have to face yet. Swords Dance Absol and the already pretty damn strong Luxray absolutely ripped apart the team in practice, which is why I had to evolve Reggie.

Haruko also abuses the hell out of her Super Potion stock, so if you get these guys down to red, chances are very high that she'll just bring them back up to green.

She's smart, I'll give her that.

Oh NO. See, this was already after Absol used Swords Dance twice. It was strong enough to rip apart the entire team at its current strength and I wasn't sure if Haruko was going to use another Super Potion. So I just went with my gut.

: ("Good lord. Cutting it a bit close?")

Ace is the king of cool.

As for Reggie... you see this picture? Reggie has Leftovers, Leech Life and has poisoned the Luxray already. While not straight out brute force, Reggie essentially deadlocked Haruko's Luxray into a losing battle no matter how many Super Potions or Bulk Ups she uses.

: ("That's checkmate, mon.")

I knew he would get a chance to shine.

The hell is a Kingma--

Say hello to another new Fakemon, folks. Kingmadio is a series of Madio-type Pokemon that do... things. I don't even know what to say about them other than "what in the blue ****" because they're so odd.

This is its only attack, by the way. Even without Leftovers, Night Shade from this dude won't even leave a scratch. By the way, you're going to have to poison him. For you see, Kingmadio is a / type.

A / type with Wonder Guard. Which essentially means Kingmadio is immune to everything but status moves and Struggle.

At the very least you can wait for his Night Shade to run out or just poison him if you can... but damn if this isn't depressing.

It's such a pacebreaker to what is otherwise a cool fight. It's a required fight too, so it's very likely this is just here to troll the player and nothing else. What even is game design, am I right folks?

A millennium later, Kingmadio finally drops due to poison.

She gives us the badge, along with TM08 (aka. Bulk Up). She says she got the TM from Brawly, which is cool and all but I doubt we'll use it.

She doesn't really say much after that, but that's fine. Let's go back outside.

... Only to immediately get called by Birch.

: "Oops. Forgot to ask someone. But I did kill two dragons."

Wasn't the reason we came here to look for Landon and May? Also, no, you killed(?) one. And that was because Ambes Star Platinum'ed it to death with Ice Punch.

: "That's beside the point! Stop wasting time slaying monsters and find my daughter and your brother!"

: "Okay, okay. I'll ask around. Someone here should know something."

: "See to it that you do."

And then he hangs up. The good professor is getting more than a bit testy.

"Hey, have you seen my brother by any chance? He's the Pokemon League Champion. I'm looking for him."

Kid: "Oh yeah! He surfed over here a couple weeks ago now with May. Said he'd found something amazing up in the desert, and he was going back for it."

: "Thanks, kid."

[Jack is calling Birch]

: "Hello?"

: "I've got a clue of where they're going."

: "Huh? What is it?"

: "Where's the desert?"

: "Surf east, then north to Slateport. Then go north to Mauville. The desert is just up north of there."

: "Thanks." [Hangs up]

Jack, please.

In hindsight, this is the smoking gun that this was written by a 16 year old Cutlerine though, because this is something only a cringy teenager would say.

Anyway, now we have to go to Slateport and beyond.

Before we go, I should take note of this dark patch of diveable water. It's probably going to contain some superbonus stuff later on, so remind me if I forget.

We are immediately greeted with a swimmer guy upon entering Route 107. Although you can just surf past him, I'm going to fight him anyway. In fact, a lot of the fights here are things you have just already seen.

Tabby: "The incredible -
Simon: "Psychic-"
Tabby: "Swimming siblings!"


My thoughts exactly, Jack.

There's this lady blocked off on an island. She must be very important if she gets isolated like this.

"I came here from the Johto region, but got trapped by the zombies. I have to train up if I'm going to swim home!"

It's a nice touch that she has Johto Pokemon, actually. I like that. But unfortunately no training for you.

Oooh, a destroyed ship. Let's go inside.

"But no seriously, you should leave."

Isn't that the same line of dialogue from the beginning of the game? Weird, but at least we're near the ocean for sharks to laser us.

Anyway, nothing we can do here.

Go over here, and you can find a... RageCandyBar?? It essentially serves as the Rare Candy of this hack, so that's interesting. Let's not use it just yet.

"I was a sailor on that ship what the zombies got... so I became a pirate!"

Wait just a second.

The ZOMBIES got the ship? You've already established that there are things other than zombies that can destroy things, and zombies are weak to water/can't enter running water.

So why would you... bah. Never mind. Let's fight.

There's Hayseus, everybody. He has like three Meowths, by the way. Nothing too special.

Okay, Jesus.

Let's have a chat with this fine fellow.

Gentleman: "Ah, a young one!"

[Initiates a battle]

No snappy banter?

He has a Growlithe, a Shinx, a Ponyta and a Raticate. Nothing too hard.

: "... But you were the one... who attacked me... Why is everybody acting so unnecessarily hostile and acting like I'm the bad guy when I beat them up in self-defense?"

By the way, medical bag. Just in case you needed a tune up. You can also find a Caramac if you go to the right.


: ("Not that I love you - ech. We just met, mon.")

Now that we're actually on shore, we get jumped by this Pathetic Pete.

Benedict gets another kill by themselves. They're growing up so fast!

I skipped the fight because it wasn't anything special, but this guy had a Linoone. Not fun.

What could possibly be in the Seashore House, though? We already fought zombies, dragons, demons and one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Huh. There doesn't seem to be anything in here. What's the problem?

"This child has been turned inside out, stuffed with salt, and then turned back out again. He is very well preserved."

Wha... what? How would that work? Since it mentioned salt, it couldn't have been a zombie that did it. Also, ewwwwww?

You get a Fire Stone for your troubles, though.

What's this now?

Whoa, look at this dude. He's like some deranged chef monster man.

Meet the Former Chef class, everybody. They will be our enemies for Slateport and onward - there's going to be a lot of them!

Whoa, level thirty. Munchlax here goes down without much of a fight, however. Thank you, Zagon.

Christ, do they have to shriek like banshees all of the time? I can only imagine if you heard this in real life, it would void some bowels.

[Former Chef runs offscreen at a speed I've never seen anybody in Gen 3 go]

This is almost word-for-word what I thought when I first fought that guy.

"Wait a minute. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse... that's Pestilence, Famine, War and Death. The only person that could have made a chef into that starved monster... would be Famine. This must be his dominion. I'd better tread carefully from here on out."

Ooooh. I like how the story is showing that each Horseman has a different kind of monster they control, to be honest.

I mean, in the grand scheme of things this is just distracting from the zombies, but I like rising threats in practically everything.

Before we go any further, let's go get a ton of soda.

Immediately upon stepping into Slateport, we get attacked by two Former Chefs. Both of them with Munchlaxes and...


Why them of all Pokemon? Why not Gulpin or... another big eater type of Pokemon? But that aside, this is technically the first time you see the Gardevoir family.

That was one Leech Life, though. Reggie is hilariously powerful as a Parasect.

Moving on, we--

[Former Chef appears from the corpse of the girl]

Holy hell.

Aside from his bombastic entrance, this Chef is pretty much the same as the others.

How very Looney-Tunes-like. Also, .

"This crate looks like it'd fall apart if bashed hard with a metal object such as an Arclight Spanner or something."

Very nice to know exactly what it is we need to break this thing.

Inside of the boat house, there's some holes on the right. There's nothing upstairs, by the way, so don't bother checking.

Sure, why the hell not.

Whoa. Where did we just wind up? It has the Abandoned Ship theme () playing which is appropriate I guess, considering this place looks like it's in complete disrepair.

Gateau are the items that the Former Chefs tend to use when their Pokemon are at the red. Essentially they're Hyper Potions but with a fancy name.

Whoa, that's a funky overworld sprite. Let's go talk to that fellow.

: "Then... why are you directly confronting me?"

He has two Hombone. Funny thing, this thing's Rock Blast from this thing killed Bellamine in practice, which was absolutely embarassing.

Zagon kills the first one with Surf (as Hombone are /) while the second one uses -

Bide. No, really. It's just comedy at this point.

Bella stacks up like two Calm Minds while this dude is Biding, with absolutely wonderful results.

: ("Thanks for leaving yourself wide open.")

: ".... Yeah, sure, whatever buddy."

I don't understand how this guy does things. He wants to hide, but jumps out yelling "don't tell anybody I'm here". Like, come on.

Oh? If you guys read through Chapter 3.5 (Gameshark Fun), you'll recognize this room as a part we weren't meant to be at yet. Now we're here for real and that green-haired guy is going to talk to us.

???: "Why, you're in the SS Cangrejo, a submarine built by Mister Michaelangelo of Blue Sky Port in the Visbu region. I'm Usher, his second in command."

Cangrejo is the spanish word for crab, by the way.

Usher mentions that the submarine is busted and Mister Michelangelo doesn't want to pay repairs. Usher and his crew came to Hoenn to explore the underwater depths, but the submarine got stuck in the rocks.

: "Well, can't you fix the engine?"

Usher: "Well, our engineer could indeed fix it. But our engine room is flooded and full of nasty wild Pokemon... if you could clear them out, and also clear out the sea devils that came out of the ocean, then we can fix our engine and go."

I'm surprised out of everything Jack has seen at this point, he's scared of sea devils.

Usher: "Nope. Just jump down into that hole. That'll take you down to the lower levels."

This man.

[Jack walks to the hole in front of him and falls down a floor]

Well damn. Now we're in a brand new dungeon! But I'm afraid that's the end of this episode. See you next time on Snakewood for the ADVENTURES OF THE SS CANGREJO.

Team setup:

(Reggie, level 25, has Leftovers, , /) - "Crab, huh?" [looks at his own snappers]
(Bellamine, level 22, , ) - "I can't wait to be a Gardevoir again. I feel so weird being like this again."
(Zagon, level 25, has Plus Band, , ) - [Stays close to Jack]
(Ambes, level 24, ) - "To think. Just the other day I was gathering Oran Berries for my little brother, and now I'm punching zombie faces in."
(Ace, level 25, has Anadrin Talon, /) - "Ugh. Not a fan of enclosed spaces like this - nothing can beat the open blue for me."
(Benedict, level 16, /) - [Doing egg things in the submarine]
(Alice, level 12, ) - [Disappointed that she had to go back into the box]

(Tohru, Pumbloom & Ballin are all on standby)

Portrait Credits:

PMD Sprite Repository site: https://sprites.pmdcollab.org/

- Reggie (Paras & Parasect – Non-standard sprites are made by jackolanternjackalope. Parasect doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Bellamine (Kirlia & Gardevoir – Non-standard sprites are made by JFain and Ichor)

- Alice (Skitty & Delcatty – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron)

- Ace (Taillow & Swellow – Non-standard sprites are made by FunnyKecleonMeme and Caitemis)

- Tohru (Makuhita & Hariyama – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron. Hariyama doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Ambes's portraits are all default ones

- Zagon (Zigzagoon & Linoone – Non-standard sprites are made by DasK. Linoone doesn’t have any new faces.)

- Benedict (Is an egg sprite made from scratch – made by Emboarger and ShyQuietRain)


- Meteor (Shiny version of Charizard – made by Adrian, SuperFabbioGuy and Murpi )

Chapter 7 - Nobody Expects the Hoenn Inquisition


If this submarine has holes and it's underwater, then how the hell is it not overflowing and sink--

Oh, hey, a new part.

Go down a bit and you'll see these crates. Remember the name Angel Laboratories because I think it might be important later on. I think, anyway.

"This elevator is clearly broken. It's not possible to go any further."

Remember this too, because I know for sure it will become important later.

That's a very noticable tiling error.

"An organ of some kind floats within, connected to the base with wires."

Ugh, nasty. This also gives me flashbacks to that creepy room in the Galactic headquarters where they kept the Lake Trio.

Go down here and I recommend you get into a fight.

For you see, there's Magnemite in the water. Believe it or not, you will need Magnemite later on for something in this submarine.

I should also mention that you can get Magnezone in this hack if you give Magneton a Thunder Stone, which is something that I honestly wish they did in the real games. It would only make sense.

Anyway, say hello to Letro.


Go to the right and you'll find this computer room that has practically everything you could need at the moment. A PC for switching, a bed, the works. I would stay here to wade out the horseman apocalypse if this place wasn't so dinged up, to be honest.

There's also this doohickey. For 600 Pokedollars, this thing pops out regular Pokeballs for you. Given how this is the only place you can get some at the moment, I like that Cutlerine did this.

I also found a Luvdisc and called him Love. Because... I felt like it. This is also the last we'll ever see of him, because I don't know why I caught him.

Also, go down south a bit and you'll find this medical kit in case those Pokemon on the water made you a little too wet.

Dive Balls just in case you needed them too.

The drawer Jack is standing in front of contains the Arclight Spanner but I didn't screenshot actually getting it. Whoops.

Go to the left and you'll see this giant machine thing. It's very particular about where you try to fix it.

Alright, cool. I guess the Magnemite event isn't quite this part yet.

"Oh! Thanks for fixing the engine! I came down here to look for the Engineer, but I couldn't find him. I haven't seen anybody about lately."

: "Uh, yeah..."

What would even try to get us down here? The sea devils? If Luvdisc counts as a sea devil then

Aw sweet. Usher's not that bad a guy after all.

[Fade to black followed by teleportation SFX]

"Sorry, the teleport is a little jumpy. I'll see you around sometime!"

[The submarine moves away]

We're on Route 110 and the first thing we see is a FREE PORYGON2 LET'S SNATCH IT

[Celebi cry]

"This Porygon is clearly lost. Better leave it here, as it probably belongs to someone in Slateport."

Someone who's probably dead, you dingus! Do I have to steal it away for you, Jack?!?

Feh. Let's go into the grass.

Disclaimer: Pichu do not appear in the wild at all, this is purely gamesharked for the sake of additional plot


[My personal song choice for this scene: Dead Dogs Walking]


: ("Hey! Is that...!")

: ("W-wait... It can't be! Shine?! Spark?! Is that really you? Jack, hold on!")

: "Huh? Well... alright."

: ("It IS you! Thank goodness you're safe!")

: [Both tackle hug Ambes]

: "These your siblings?"

: ("Yeah, Jack. I'm curious as to how they even... survived as far as they did, but...")

: ("I don't care as long as they're safe!")

: "Awwwww. That said, this is no place to have a little family reunion. Let's wait until we get to a Pokecenter or something."

: ("Yeah, you're right. Come on, you two.")

[The two Pichus hitch a ride on Jack's shoulders.]

[Current audio in-game: A version of the Team Rocket encounter theme]

As Jack and crew try to advance forward, they are stopped by an offscreen military march. As for the remix of the Team Rocket theme from Gold/Silver, I kinda like it.

"What was that? Sounded like a military band. But that theme song was decidedly evil... Perhaps I ought to investigate?"

Yes, Jack, let's follow the evil music. That can't possibly end badly.

They replaced the Trick Master house with a Pokecenter. That's probably the most useful thing in this hack so far.

"This Pokecenter was only just built when the chefs and zombies arrived here. I hate to think what I would've done without it."

You and me both, because there's only so many problems Zagon's Headbutts and Bellamine's psychic powers can solve in a gauntlet situation.

"I wish I could go home... I want to see if my parents are still alive..."

I can really get behind this sentiment. But given the situation, Jack is probably the only person that can really survive the outright horse-**** shenanigans outside.

Letro, you're cool and all, but we already have a perfectly good electric type. Benedict needs all the screentime they deserve.

[Replay Dead Dogs Walking]

: ("I'm so happy to see both of you safe!")

: ("But what I don't understand is... well, how exactly did you get here from Petalburg Woods? Even we had a pretty hard time trying to get here, and I'm confident we're one of the most capable teams that are still... alive.")

: ("It wasn't that hard. Well... actually, it kind of was. We just had to run away from every zombie, chef and demon we saw with Big Sis's help!")

: ("Yeah! It was pretty scary seeing so much blood and guts everywhere.")

: ("Ambes, do you mind if we tag along with you? We... don't know what happened to Big Sis since we split up. You're the only person we have left.")

: ("Wh-what? You lost Ivory?! Not only that, but... if it was tough for her, you do realize I probably won't stand a chance. Sure, I punched out a dragon with my bare fists, but--")

: ("COOL!")

: ("That's awesome, Ambes! You actually did that?")

: ("Well... yeah, I did! It was pretty bada--")

: ("Hey, don't try to distract me! You two aren't coming and that's final!")

: ("Aw come on!")

: ("You're the coolest big brother ever! We just have to come with you and Jack!")

: ("Ugh... I swear you two are more trouble than you're worth. Jack, what should we do?")

: "How about we put them in the box so they don't get hurt?"

: ("Hmm... Given the increasing amount of danger outside...")

: ("Alright, you can come. But you have to promise to stay inside of the box, kay?")

: ("Okay!")

[They both hug Ambes]

: "Alright, we all cool? Cool. Let's go investigate Slateport."

With that little exchange out of the way, we make it to Slateport and goddamn is the place a mess. Every house is completely deserted, including the Pokemart. The Contest Hall is gone too, but I don't think anybody was that broken up about it.

Go over to the Pokemon Fan Club and you can get a Kilin Horn, which is pretty much just Snakewood's equivalent to the Soothe Bell.

Kilin, otherwise known as Qilin or Kirin, is a figure in Chinese Mythology that's recognized as a good omen. It appears as a hooved chimera-like creature with fire covering its body. Aka. badass.

Go over to the open market area, and it turns out this is where everybody in Slateport retreated to.

"The survivors are clustered here, in the market, because these monster chefs can't stand food. The smell of our supplies keep them at bay."

Okay, this is a genuinely cool idea. Because the Former Chefs stand as minions of Famine, they can't stand food. They're anti-chefs. This weakness also doesn't completely cripple them like the zombies because unlike water and salt, food eventually goes away.

Not only that, the chefs are nightmarishly fast and strong...

"This uniform? It's the Hoenn Internal Affairs Army uniform. I'm a soldier you see."

If Hoenn had an army and the zombies are weak to water, why couldn't they just shoot saltwater at the zombies fire-hose style and bottleneck them that way?

Oh right, yeah, this is Snakewood - don't think too hard about it. Plus, even in the grander zombie apocalypse scene, if the army were an acting force then there's no way any zombie apocalypse story would even happen. You know, unless the zombies are ridiculously overpowered.

"N-no, I'm not stealing the supplies!"

This guy is probably going to get everybody killed. Karma works in mysterious ways, dude.

"I need a powerful Pokemon so I can get out of this city. If you have a Faceleech, would you like to trade? I can give you a Munchlax in exchange. After all, it's useless..."

I would if I could, but I just can't. Also, Faceleech?

Oh, this is where the Name Rater wound up. Cool. I'll probably need him in the future for some re-naming.

side talk: I don't understand why you can't just freely nickname your Pokemon. Why does a crusty old guy have to decide it for y... never mind.

The Energy Guru here will sell you Snakewood's version of the EV increasing nutrients. Only they're all candy. I would do this, but a competitive team in a hacked game is rather unfeasible.

Here's a chef, but he has the usual. When you beat a Chef that's not critical to the story, they just run away.

This guy's in trouble, though. Let's save him before he gets munched!

More zombie twins. Ugh.

They have Charmeworm and Shrivelsaur, which aren't that big of a deal by now. However, the only reason I'm showing this fight off is because they have a "brand new" zombie Pokemon up their sleeve.

Oh and this too, because that's just plain dumb.

Ohhhhh dear god.

Our favorite deformed Jynx and... Electabugs. The "dad joke" tier puns don't stop getting any dumber.

Don't let his name fool you though, Electabugs is a bonafide badass. His Thunder Punch is the Pokemon equivalent of getting your face smashed in with Thor's Hammer. Believe me, it's not pretty.

Thankfully, [strike]this attempt around[/strike], the team managed to take them out relatively painlessly.

This man thanks you for saving his life, but he doesn't give you anything in return.

: "It was nothing, dude. Everybody gets one."

This is what's over here, by the way. It leads back to Oldale... and honestly, I'm not quite in the mood for backtracking.

Back on Route 110, we get jumped by a survivor.

R-Rockit!? His name is really Rockit. Poor bastard.

Name aside, he didn't have much to offer in terms of a fight. But apparently he came across the evil military crew too.

In the grass ahead, I caught Krusha and Cherry. Because trust me, they will prove incredibly useful later on.

Plus I like Bellossom.

Future Dan: Wow, this has to be the most wrong I've ever been, considering they're one of the few Pokemon I got that don't even make it to the end of their own respective game. It's not that big of a spoiler, to be honest.

Wait what? The guys with the funny hair are the Inquisition?!

These Inquisition Footmen have the Magma/Aqua Boss theme playing like they're SERIOUS BUSINESS, too.

Sadly though, he only has a Hombone and two Nosepasses. Which is almost alarmingly inappropriate for a theme as BADASS as the Magma/Aqua leader theme.

These Inquisition guys all look like purple-haired Lances to me.

"Oh... What should I do? I ought to tell the boss I failed, but I don't want to face her wrath... I guess I better just stay here."

You know, given your Pokemon set-up, that's actually a very smart idea.

Huh? Look to the left. It's that Charizard again... who is also blocked off by a Rock Smash rock. We get rockblocked at almost every turn, have you noticed?

Keep these coming.

But I was the one who talked to you. I would have slipped by if it wasn't for the fact you had a new Pokemon.

It's Lunatone. Not that it's hard or anything, but I should mention that these things have always legitimately creeped me out. The evil red eyes and the eerie droning cry they make have haunted me ever since I first saw them in vanilla Sapphire.

Was he stopping us just so we don't get hurt? I appreciate the thought, guy, but--

Oh god damn it.

Nanab berries? Well, sure, but I don't imagine Pokeblocks being that useful.

Yeah, okay, whatever.

He has a Graveler of all things. It's not that much harder than a Hombone considering they both have the same type, but what the hell.

This guy should have known that part of the set Linoone can learn is SURF or that there are Water Pokemon everywhere. Although, how a giant raccoon can just spontaneously summon a river's worth of water is beyond me.

Hey, there's one of my favorite songs again! As for Mauville, I like the redesign it got in ORAS a lot more than the original. Although the lack of ease for egg grinding annoyed me quite a bit.

"It's a corpse. Its head has been completely reversed and filled with sand from the ears. There seems to be no reason to this."

I like how even the game is acknowledging that this is getting really dumb. Also, this guy has nothing for you to loot, so move on.

There IS a working Pokemart here, though, so that solves a few problems for us.

"Well, well. I thought you might make it this far, Jack."

: "Oh! Gleis! What are you doing here?"

My exact question.

It better be cool.

[Gleis and Jack walk towards the front of the Pokecenter]

Those weird overworld sprites are Hombone, by the way. Also, the zombies are attacking with Zigzagoon which are not zombie Pokemon in this game.

[Current audio: The Team Rocket theme again]

: "Oh, so you've met them before? They're the Inquistion, part of the Hoenn government. Since the zombies came and the government was eaten, they are more or less in complete control of the region."

: "But it seems like nobody's in control here. Even these guys are fighting for dominance."

[Gleis makes us invisible. A lady accompanied by two zombies come in from above and... clip through three of the NPCs in front of them. Whoops.]

[The grunts put the Hombones back into their Pokeballs]

Guys, why do you have Hombone? There are much better Pokemon you could be using right now.

[Flash of light followed by Rock Smash SFX]

Whoa. She just transitioned them out of existence! That's neat, actually.

???: "You! Minions! Return to base."

[The Inquisition members leave to the left. The zombies head up to the north. The Mauville theme starts playing as normal again.]

: "That was Chloe. She' s a Taoist, just like me, and so she has power over the undead monsters that have recently sprung up. Those two zombies that were following her were her personal slaves."

Honestly, it's cool to see more Taoists than just Gleis.

"Aren't you Taoists a close-knit secret group or something?"

: "Ah. We are indeed supposed to be. But Chloe has seized control of the Inquisition, and they're currently hunting me. They believe me to be responsible for this zombie outbreak, you see."

Holy ****. The story thickens and I'm being honest about how I feel about this.

"But that isn't true! You sealed the rift to Hell - you're helping to end the zombie plague!"

: "Try telling the Inquisition that. They don't believe it. But enough of that. I have a task for you. Go south from here and surf to New Mauville. Dantalion is waiting there to instruct you further."

I'm interested in Snakewood as a story again. The moral ambiguity here is actually really cool. Even if this is a badly stitched together fanfiction story in a Pokemon hack.

"Have you seen the Pokemon Champion around at all?"

: "I believe you will find further information in New Mauville. Take it from me, it is imperative that you go there."

He sure has a one-track mind, this Gleis. It's blatantly obvious that he's just trying to play us as the patsy...

I still like him as a character, though.

Alright, cool! With that, we end off this episode of Snakewood with high(?) spirits. See you next time for a new update.

Team setup:

(Reggie, , Level 25, has Leftovers, /) - "My head's spinning a bit from all these allegiances. How's a moke supposed to keep track of this?"
(Bellamine, , Level 24, ) - "Well, you see, Alice, the trick to getting stronger is..."
(Ambes, , Level 24, ) - "At the very least Shine and Spark are safe."
(Zagon, , Level 29, has Plus Band, ) - "Hoo baby, I sure could use a bath. Too many guts."
(Ace, , Level 26, has Anadrin Talon, /) - [Curious as to where he was this episode]
(Benedict, Level 17, /) - [Twitch, twitch - crack, pop]

Back-up Team:

(Alice, , level 12, ) - "Sounds like too much effort, nya."
(Krusha, , level 12, /) - [Surprised that he was even considered]
(Ballin, , level 14, /) - "Zombies are weak to water, huh? Wonder why nobody keeps buckets of saltwater with them at all times then."
(Pumbloom, , level 14, ) - [Sleeping soundly]
(Letro, level 15, /) - "ERR. I WAS EXPECTING TO SEE SOME ACTION."
(Cherry, , level 12, /) - [Waiting passionately for the day she becomes a Bellossom or a Vileplume]
(Shine, , level 12, ) - "Tag! You're it, Spark!"
(Spark, , level 12, ) -"Aw, no fair! I'll get you this time!"

Portrait Credits:

PMD Sprite Repository site: https://sprites.pmdcollab.org/

- Reggie (Paras & Parasect – Non-standard sprites are made by jackolanternjackalope. Parasect doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Bellamine (Kirlia & Gardevoir – Non-standard sprites are made by JFain and Ichor)

- Alice (Skitty & Delcatty – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron)

- Ace (Taillow & Swellow – Non-standard sprites are made by FunnyKecleonMeme and Caitemis)

- Tohru (Makuhita & Hariyama – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron. Hariyama doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Ambes's portraits are all default ones

- Zagon (Zigzagoon & Linoone – Non-standard sprites are made by DasK. Linoone doesn’t have any new faces.)

- Benedict (Is an egg sprite made from scratch – made by Emboarger and ShyQuietRain)

- Shine & Spark (Pichu – Non-standard sprites are by C_Pariah)

- Cherry (Oddish & Bellossom – Non-standard sprites are by gromchurch, felis_licht and ShyQuietRain)

- Letro (Magnemite family – Non-standard sprites are Fearless-Quit, Emboarger and SirViolet. Magnezone doesn’t have any variants.)


- Meteor (Shiny version of Charizard – made by Adrian, SuperFabbioGuy and Murpi )

Check out some of my screenshot LPs!:

Pokemon Snakewood Remaster (Complete) || Pokemon Dark Rising Remaster (On-going)

Rainbow Chara X

Impossible to gauge!

Age 27
Shiny Hunting in Sinnoh
Seen 3 Days Ago
Posted 4 Weeks Ago
120 posts
7.9 Years

Murder mystery time!

Chapter 8 - A Traitor Among Our Ranks


Last time on Snakewood, we were told by Gleis to go to New Mauville. However, let's take a look at this spot right here.

Island of Calm? Watch this be the most insane location in the entire hack, then.

[Current audio in-game: Drought Theme]

... And to prove my point it uses the most unsettling song from vanilla Ruby.

[We get booted out of the Island of Calm]

Well, damn. This is plot we're not supposed to be at quite yet. Let's not mess around anymore and just go to New Mauville.

Hey, it's Dantalion. If he hits on Jack again, I'm making them a couple for sure.

: "What exactly is it that Gleis wants me to do?"

Dantalion: "As you can see, the Inquisition is not exactly a positive influence on this region. The population of Mauville have all taken refuge from them, the zombies and the chefs."

I knew that these guys were up to no good with a name like the Inquisition. That, and they have the Rocket theme as their main theme.

: "I see... so?"

"They should be safe here, but they are not. This door is locked at all times and guarded. No one enters and no one exits. And yet... someone has been murdered here."

Oh muk. Murder mystery time!

Dantalion: "Yes, it's true. The Master was passing by and said he would look into it, but he is rather busy trying to undermine the Inquisition at the moment - which is why you're here. You will find the culprit, of course?"

I like how the instant the Inquisition show up, they drop bombshells like this. Cool, cool.

"Of course! Let's go. If it's murder, then there's no time to lose."

Jack is a noble soul.

"This boy here is the one Gleis sent, officer. He's a strong and intelligent trainer, so I'm sure he'll be able to help."

: "Oh, stop."

"I'm a member of the Hoenn Internal Affairs Army, acting as a policeman for the time being. The corpse is in the storage room, kid. Go check it out, and search the place for clues. When you think you know who did it, come tell me. Find evidence it was them, a motive, and prove they had the means to do it and I'll go arrest them."

Jack agrees and now we're a detective. Hot damn.

"It's important you solve this mystery, for the good of the people of Hoenn. So says Gleis. Anyway, I'm off to guard the entrance."

Dantalion is very honorable despite being a demon. Why couldn't the other demons in the Rustboro section of the hack have been as helpful as him?

[Dantalion walks offscreen]

Alright, here we go. Get your best detective music out, folks, cause the New Mauville theme isn't gonna cut it.

But first let's talk to this lady. We're gonna be a major dick and say yes.

"All my friends and family... dead... (Sobs uncontrollably)"

Jack, you heartless bastard.

Also, on a side note, I've discovered what the Broken Heart item actually does. There's 50 of them throughout the game, and you need to collect all 50 of them to meet a special legendary. I take back everything I said before.

However, since I don't want to make ladies cry for no reason, let's tell her the truth.

: "Sorry for lying. I really needed that Broken Heart."

: (".....")

[Bellamine slaps Jack]

: "Ow! I said I was sorry, damn!"

: ("Jack, you know better than that.")

: "Yeah, yeah..."

There's this fellow who contradicted himself by talking. Just felt like bringing him up.

"Wattson has had to give up on his plan to electrify the city, but now we live here, where all the electricity is born. So he's happy!"

Believe it or not, this girl will be useful in a few moments.

"Next question: What's it like to be rich and famous?"

Rocker dude: " What's it like to be famous? I can't really say, Jean, I've only just become famous. But it certainly is nice to be rich now that my song is No.1!"

Rich and famous how? Who is listening to your song in the middle of the zombie apocalypse? Besides, where does the money go except towards ATMs?

Oh muk, a chef! Let's get him!

Oh. Well, I still have my eye on him.

"Heee... I licked Nurse Joy's Healmadio and now I'm soooooo high..."

... I don't even know what to say other than: are you ok, buddy?

"I don't have my healing machine, but let's see what my Healmadio can do."

[Healing SFX]

: "Thanks, doll."

"Sigh... I was part of a two-man band. But my partner has left to be rich and famous, and I'm just left with my guitar case and a broken spirit..."

You mean the guy in the room over? I'm starting to be more convinced that these guys are just like putting on an act out of desperation or something. It would make sense.

There's also these incredibly suspicious scientists hanging around everywhere. Each one has a different evil laugh, but they all say the same thing regardless.

These two are playing Chess, but the fat man doesn't know how to play. They may not contribute to this investigation, but they're amusing nonetheless.

"... Mind out, though, I think some Voltorb got in with our supplies."

The murder victim is definitely a priority, but let's see those supplies first.

I don't know why you would catch a Voltorb here, but they're here if you want them. There's two of them, by the way.

So much loot.

Snake Oil is Full Heal under a different name, while Teleporter is Escape Rope. Nice haul, all things considered.

: ("No way!")

That's quite a reward.

: ("Hey, Jack... I'm not quite feeling it yet. Let's wait for a good time for me to evolve.")

: "How come?

: ("I feel like there's still more things I have to learn before I can become a Raichu. Just trust me on this.")

: "... I understand, buddy."

Well, hot damn. We can evolve Ambes at any point now!

With that out of the way, let's check on Wilfred to see what exactly happened to the poor guy.

"This corpse is badly scorched... Are we looking for a Fire-type using murderer?"

Fire types, huh? Well, that's one question down... a hundred to go.

"It's a terrible business..."

Oh hey, Wattson. Good to see you weren't eaten like the other gym leaders.

If they're those scientist guys hanging around the place then yeah, me too.

"The corpse is singed and burned - it looks like a Fire-type attack killed him." Officer: "Okay, that's a start. But it doesn't get us any closer to unravelling the mystery - plenty of Pokemon can learn Fire-type moves by TM or something, and there aren't actually any Fire-type users here. Keep looking."

Hmm. I do like that we're forced to use our brains here to put things together, but this next part is a bit confusing. You have to go talk to the little girl.

"I didn't say to the officer, but you're nice so I'll tell you. I saw the chef going into the storeroom the night that Mr. Wilfred got killed."

She was withholding information? Well, to be honest, she's a kid... so that might have not been easy on her. But let's go talk to that suspicious chef.

"I have a witness who can place you at the scene of the crime on the night of the murder."

Chef: "I needed supplies! I went in to get some honey, it was dark and I didn't even see the corpse, if it was there at all! Honest, I didn't do it!"

: "Do you have any proof?"

: "This is a jar of nutmeg."

Chef: "As I said, it was dark."

: "... I need to talk to the officer."

"He was at the scene of the crime at about the right time, and as a chef would have a Fire-type Pokemon to use as a portable oven. In fact, the Pokeball I saw in his pocket probably contained a Charmeleon."

Officer: "Whoa. That's real trainer knowledge there. Gleis did say you were good... Okay, if you can find a motive, I'm sold. Why not ask Wattson? The chef works for him, after all."

Jack, this is a delicate situation. You'd better not just make up stuff on the fly like that Charmeleon remark because it could have went much uglier. That aside, let's go talk to the man himself.

: "That's right. It's about your chef. We think he may have committed the murder, but we can't see why. Can you help us with that?"

: "Waha! I think so. I don't he's ever liked poor Wilfred, to be perfectly honest."

: "But why now?"

"But I can guess - I've suspected it for some time. He's becoming... a Former Chef."

Oh, that's not good.

: "I don't think anybody needs to. I think it may be like a disease."

: "I see... Thank you for your time, Mr. Wattson."

I'm really getting into this whole murder mystery plot.

Yeah, everything points toward him. Let's book this asshole before he becomes a Former Chef.

... What? He wasn't the guy!? We got thrown in for a loop!

If it wasn't the Chef, then who did it?

This time let's say he's not. What will Jack say about it?

[My recommendation for this scene: Ace Attorney Trial]

"No. It occurred to me when I was talking to Wattson. He uses the Electric type, am I right?"

: "You see it too? We were looking for a Fire-type Pokemon Trainer, but we forgot that powerful Electric attacks scorch as much as fire does."

... This just escalated. Jack is a legitimate detective now.

: "Is it? The chef said he was going in to the storerooms to get honey - but he came away with nutmeg."

Officer: "So?"

: "The extent of the damage done to the corpse couldn't have been done with an ordinary Electric attack."

"It would have to be powered up with a special item, and what do you use to power up Electric attacks?"

A Magnet?

... Or as Snakewood calls it now, Electric Honey. I'm rolling with it.

"Precisely. The chef couldn't get any honey because there wasn't any. Someone had already used it to power up their Electric attacks, and kill Wilfred."

I adore this man more than ever now.

: "I don't know, but I'm going to find out."

Officer: "Right! You do that."

This is legitimately good writing for an edgy 16 year old. If Cutlerine didn't spend so much time being a troll, this entire game would be so much better as a whole.

Alright... we're all healed up and the team is still strong after beating up those Inquisition Footmen. Let's go bust this bastard.

[Current Audio: The Team Rocket Inquisition Remix theme]

: "Oh, you do, do you? Waha! It doesn't matter! I work with the Inquisition now, and I've been told that you can't be allowed to continue."

: "Then I'll have to defeat you!"

Oh, damn! What could have possibly won Wattson over to the Inquisition? I thought he was a jolly guy? I swear, when this game isn't being dumb, it's actually competent.

"My generator fills my Pokemon with electric energy! It makes them impossible to defeat!"

: "We'll see about that!"

[Current Audio: Magma/Aqua Boss Battle Theme]

If that's not a plot twist then I don't know what is. That, and the Magma/Aqua Boss theme is actually appropriate this time! Sweet.

Let's see what he has.


This will only go so well.

Not good!


Go Reggie, you can do it!

oh no


[Fading Consciousness starts playing]

Nah, just kidding. That was supposed to happen.

: "Urgh... He was hideously strong. I really need to find a way of weakening his power and turning off that generator."

Good god, that was bad. If it wasn't for Jack running away, Hoenn would have been screwed. Let's go plan out our revenge.

Thank god that's not like some unwinnable fight. That would have been a giant dick move.

Still, not fond of the whole "you're forced to lose" fight thing in JRPGs. It's usually just a cheap trick to make the villain feel strong, and Pokemon is one of the worst places where you can do it because of how tactical you can be here.

"Hehehe... Let's see how Wattson fares without his precious generator powering up his Pokemon."

Jack, you sly devil.

Next time on Pokemon Snakewood, we face Wattson for real. See you in... like a second.

Team setup:

(Reggie, , Level 25, has Leftovers, /) - "Ooh, this mon is asking for it!"
(Bellamine, , Level 24, ) - "Cheap shot!"
(Ambes, , Level 24, ) - [Unconscious]
(Zagon, , Level 29, has Plus Band, ) - "I'd like to see him try that again!"
(Ace, , Level 26, has Anadrin Talon, /) - "I'd normally avoid a fight against Electric types, but I'm willing to make an exception for that cheating wanker."
(Benedict, Level 17, /) - "...?! What did Benedict do!?"

Back-up Team:

(Alice, , level 12, ) - "Oh gosh, are you all okay!?"
(Krusha, , level 12, /) - [Playing the Card Game with Cherry]
(Ballin, , level 14, /) - "Holy moly, I dodged a bullet not coming along."
(Pumbloom, , level 14, ) - [Scared for Jack and crew]
(Letro, level 15, /) - [Holding off the scientists from reactivating the generator]
(Cherry, , level 12, /) - "... You're not very good at this game, are you?"
(Shine, , level 12, ) - "Oh jeez! Wake up, Ambes!"
(Spark, , level 12, ) - "Come on, big bro! You'll be alright!" [Dumps cold water on him]
Portrait Credits:

PMD Sprite Repository site: https://sprites.pmdcollab.org/

- Reggie (Paras & Parasect – Non-standard sprites are made by jackolanternjackalope. Parasect doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Bellamine (Kirlia & Gardevoir – Non-standard sprites are made by JFain and Ichor)

- Alice (Skitty & Delcatty – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron)

- Ace (Taillow & Swellow – Non-standard sprites are made by FunnyKecleonMeme and Caitemis)

- Tohru (Makuhita & Hariyama – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron. Hariyama doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Ambes's portraits are all default ones

- Zagon (Zigzagoon & Linoone – Non-standard sprites are made by DasK. Linoone doesn’t have any new faces.)

- Benedict (Is an egg sprite made from scratch – made by Emboarger and ShyQuietRain)

- Shine & Spark (Pichu – Non-standard sprites are by C_Pariah)

- Cherry (Oddish & Bellossom – Non-standard sprites are by gromchurch, felis_licht and ShyQuietRain)

- Letro (Magnemite family – Non-standard sprites are Fearless-Quit, Emboarger and SirViolet. Magnezone doesn’t have any variants.)


- Meteor (Shiny version of Charizard – made by Adrian, SuperFabbioGuy and Murpi )

Chapter 9 - Tomorrow is Mine


Let's pay Wattson back for the hax.

"You still can't beat me, don't you get it?"

: "We'll see now that your generator is off."

: "My generator... off? Whatever! Wahaha! I'm still a Gym Leader! I can still win! Wahahaha!"

... Right, yeah, like that certainly means something now that the region's collapsed into chaos.

This is going to be cathartic.


Wattson also has a Lanturn, but it can't stand up against a Calm Mind-boosted Confusion.

Fun fact: This dude used Bubble of all things to stop Bellamine's psychic fury. Very, very sad.

: ("Let's see how you like dealing with someone out of your league.")



A legendary this early in the game

why cutlerine why

He also knows a move to drag out your other Pokemon, so good god keep an eye on him.

... Uh?

Why exactly was I freaking out? Look at how easily we trounced him. As long as you have something that resists Electric, Raikou shouldn't be that scary even if it is a legendary.

: ("Bring it on, buddy!")

: [Yelling at the top of his lungs]

: ("... *gasp*, * gasp*... Nothing personal.")

This is Wattson's final Pokemon and... well, it gets putzed without a fight. Not so good without your game-busting generator, huh?

... What the hell, teleport?

Oh god damn it! All that work for nothing.

"No, he didn't - and that poor Raikou he trapped has been released, too."


"I suspected they might flee like this, so I waited outside to where their teleporter comes out and arrested them. Thanks for your help."

: "No problem!"

... He's actually a competent officer? The writing of this murder mystery section is amazing. I really do wish the rest of the game was like it.

Yeah, it was a genuine mystery. The only real clue that it was Wattson before the reveal were his creepy technicians, so I'll give props to the creator that he didn't make it completely obvious. The red herring with the chef helped quite a bit, too.

Back to Mauville, let's go investigate the area.

... Oh. There's nothing here. For future reference, there's nothing in the Game Corner either. So that's a bit of a waste.

The only real place of interest is the Gym.

For you see, this guy is here.

[Current audio: Team Rocket Remix Theme]

".... Got it! These are the badges and TMs that Wattson asked us to recover!"

Mind if I loot those off of you, buddy?

"Well, I can't have you rescuing Gleis from our base. I'll have to stop you."

They captured Gleis? Oh, we're in trouble now.

But not right at this moment.

Oooh, a Lairon! Not only is it a departure to all of the damn Hombone, but the only person that has a decent chance of beating this guy is Zagon due to Surf.

[Inquisition Footman flees offscreen]

"This is bad... they got Gleis. I'll have to rescue him. Hey, wait! That Footman dropped something!"

That's a nifty reward, at the very least.

But something in my gut tells me to hold onto it for now. Onward to Route 118!

... How do you explain rockblocking of this magnitude?

Moving on to the route on the left, we meet the Day-Care-Man. He says his Pokemon have helped take care of him, so that's good. While it may not seem important now, trust me in that we will require this guy's services later on.

I should mention that from this point onward, I went into a giant grinding montage with one major change to the team - Tohru has replaced Benedict. The egg fakemon are cool and all, but they are not immediately effective.

I'm sorry, pal. You're going to have to be benched for a while.

: [grows and shrinks like a balloon]

... I don't understand?

Anyway, time for a giant grinding session.


i'm calling her jeanne and giving her a cool theme

You can also find this thing. Calfby is a Fakemon that sort of works like the Hitmon-family in terms of how they evolve. If you evolve it with more attack than defense, you get Tauros. More defense than attack, you get Miltank.

However, raise it with equal attack and defense, and you get Ramshaker. Ramshaker being a new / Fakemon that is practically designed to rip apart your Fighting-type offense. Bring your best Dark and Bug moves because it will be a pain otherwise.

With that, the training montage is complete. We witness the growth of a new hero.

Groovy. Let's go bust some heads.

Our first target is this dude. He has a set of six Pokemon, but that should be the extent of his threat. He has four Munchlaxes and two Kirlia.

He didn't even stand a chance.

These two, on the other hand, will be much more annoying.

Aside from a new zombie Pokemon, they have the gall to be smart and pull out legitimate competitive tactics. See, Shrivelsaur there will use Leech Seed, Substitute and use Protect on himself to wall you into submission. He will also use Double Team to make hitting him a prominent issue.

Absolutely devilish for what is supposed to be a rotting, mindless monster. Poliworm (ugh) is more brute force as he will just try to sock you with Focus Punch and use Protect on himself too.

Fun fact: In practice, the SubSeed strategy actually worked and screwed me over something fierce to the point where I had to reset. Don't underestimate these guys.

... You see that Chef right there? That is no ordinary Chef. (also that head is just a severed head don't pay him any mind)

Say hello to the more painful variation of the Former Chef - the Skilled Chef. These guys are dangerous due to the fact that the "skilled" in their name is actually relevant.


Fear his dopey gaze. The Snorlax this guy has is quite the step up from everything you might have faced so far. It's also the prime reason why I trained up Tohru - nobody could beat this Snorlax in practice no matter how hard they tried.

He's immune to Reggie's poison-powder and Zagon's Headbutt was outmatched by her opponent's. It was a dark day... until Tohru came to the rescue.

: ("Do you think you can take me on, little man?!?! Come, break your fists against mine!")

: ("Hwahahahaha! You put up a better fight than I expected but it was not even close enough to scratch me.")


Wait, what?
We can do that now?!

: "It's probably better that you don't know. But hey, at least it's possible to help people turn back from those... things."

I do like that you can at least turn back from being a Former Chef. No such luck for the zombies, though.

Unfortunately, there's another Skilled Chef here. What exactly does he have?

A Gardevoir, of course. Man, I can't wait for Bellamine to evolve into this.

That aside, he's nowhere near as strong as the Snorlax even with Psychic being as painful as it is. A few Leech Lifes should take him out no problem.

These guys have done some nasty muk as Former Chefs. It's probably for the best that they don't remember.

There was this. Hallelujah.

Anyway, there's nothing more on that Route. You get rock-blocked again, only this time by the passage leading into Verdanturf. The route above Mauville leads into a desert, which is blocked off by a breakable rock. So the only way to pass through this part of the game is to go into the Island of Calm.

"You're that devilishly strong Trainer who defeated me in Mauville... Please don't hurt me."

: "I don't have to if you don't get in the way. Capiche?"

You can find wild Ralts here?!

The Pokedex location must have been pointing to here the entire time, but the map was not fixed to show the actual location. Anyway, this is technically where I would have found Bellamine - had I not gamesharked her in earlier into the game.

I do not regret my actions.

Oh, now we're talking. Say goodbye to that dinky little Thundershock, Ambes. Now we're going to roast fish and birds with greater precision.

Present company excluded, of course.

There's also a medical kit in case you were aching from the random encounters here.

... I don't think this has any relevance???

oh would you look at that, a cute little chikorita

Honestly, I would scream at Jack again but let's not be a dick to this Chikorita by snatching it away from its home. I mean, this place is surrounded by water so no zombies can get to it.

... [gulp]

I'm not worried because of that Footman, but instead because of this area. It's going to give me a tremendous amount of headaches later on.

Also, oh damn we're wanted. That didn't take long!

Boring fight aside, Bellamine learned Psychic! We're getting rid of the kid gloves all over the place today, and the team is not going to mess around anymore.

Oh please, buddy. You and your friends with the crazy hair won't be enough to slow me down just on the principle that you all use Hombone.

... Oh NO.

Say hello to the Island of Calm's tunnel dungeon. I'll probably regret ever coming in here by the end of the next update.

... Uh? What is up with that's guy's sprite? It's funky looking. Believe it or not, they will be very important...



See you then.

Team setup:

(Reggie, , Level 27, has Leftovers, /) - "I'm feeling that these mokes got a big headache waiting for us, you feel me?"
(Bellamine, , Level 26, ) - [Shaking at the thought of finally evolving]
(Ambes, , Level 26, ) - "And then I made his face concave!"
(Zagon, , Level 29, has Plus Band, ) - "I'm sick of pulling Hombone duty. Can someone else fill in for me?"
(Ace, , Level 28, has Anadrin Talon, /) - "Sorry mate, I'm a bit allergic to rocks."
(Tohru, , Level 25, /) - "Hwahahaha! So what are we going up against next? Come on, Jack, don't leave me hanging!"

Back-up Team:

(Benedict, level 18, /) - * Making a deep, heavy breathing sound *
(Alice, , level 12, ) - "Jeanne! You're okay! I thought I'd never see you again after we lost our trainer!"
(Jeanne, , level 18, ) - "You wouldn't believe it, Alice! Jack saved me from being eaten by a zombie and..."
(Krusha, , level 12, /) - [Sleeping with Cherry sitting next to him]
(Ballin, , level 14, /) - [Is playing a staring game with Pumbloom]
(Pumbloom, , level 14, ) - "You'll crack eventually!"
(Cherry, , level 12, /) - [Dreams of becoming a Bellossom]
(Shine, , level 12, ) - "Wow, Ambes... I can't believe we ever doubted you."
(Spark, , level 12, ) - "You punched him into the wall? That's something else, bro!"
Portrait Credits:

PMD Sprite Repository site: https://sprites.pmdcollab.org/

- Reggie (Paras & Parasect – Non-standard sprites are made by jackolanternjackalope. Parasect doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Bellamine (Kirlia & Gardevoir – Non-standard sprites are made by JFain and Ichor)

- Alice (Skitty & Delcatty – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron)

- Ace (Taillow & Swellow – Non-standard sprites are made by FunnyKecleonMeme and Caitemis)

- Tohru (Makuhita & Hariyama – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron. Hariyama doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Jeanne (Vulpix & Ninetales – Non-standard sprites are made by Meganai & baronessfaron)

- Ambes's portraits are all default ones

- Zagon (Zigzagoon & Linoone – Non-standard sprites are made by DasK. Linoone doesn’t have any new faces.)

- Benedict (Is an egg sprite made from scratch – made by Emboarger and ShyQuietRain)

- Shine & Spark (Pichu – Non-standard sprites are by C_Pariah)

- Cherry (Oddish & Bellossom – Non-standard sprites are by gromchurch, felis_licht and ShyQuietRain)

- Letro (Magnemite family – Non-standard sprites are Fearless-Quit, Emboarger and SirViolet. Magnezone doesn’t have any variants.)


- Meteor (Shiny version of Charizard – made by Adrian, SuperFabbioGuy and Murpi )

Check out some of my screenshot LPs!:

Pokemon Snakewood Remaster (Complete) || Pokemon Dark Rising Remaster (On-going)

Rainbow Chara X

Impossible to gauge!

Age 27
Shiny Hunting in Sinnoh
Seen 3 Days Ago
Posted 4 Weeks Ago
120 posts
7.9 Years

Oh boy. Are you ready to get crazy, cause I sure am! (not)

Chapter 10 - The Art of Lunacy


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa we're really doing this

Sigh. Well, I have to progress this game eventually.

"Oho! Stumped about how to get in, are we? Well, if you defeat all of us, the Inquisition's Deadly Seven, then we might just tell you where the entrance is!"

Say hello to the Deadly Seven, aka. these weird blue-afro guys wearing purple thriller vests with no shoes. They all look like this, and despite the name, they're not deadly at all. For example, this dude only has an Oddish.

You know the routine.

"But you won't beat the others. We Deadly Seven are tough!"

As tough as jello.

I should mention that all of the Deadly Seven excluding the last one repeat this losing phrase so we're not missing much if I skip them.

... Uh? That's not where we came in from.

But thanks for the Max Elixir anyway.

... It's gonna be one of those days. See, folks, this whole dungeon is designed to mess with you as each exit leads out through this "loser exit."

Each member of the "Deadly Seven" is hidden in a different cave, and you have to talk to all of them to proceed with plot. Which means you'll be coming out of the "loser exit" multiple times and there's no save scumming to get past this.

What is this monster of level design? I know Cutlerine is doing it to prove a point, but come on.

All of the Deadly Seven have name with "ov" put at the end of them. To make them sound more Russian. I don't know.

Bobov here has an Onix, which I must add gets a new evolution in Snakewood that is bat**** insane.

Onix are not known for their Special Defense, so we have nothing to worry.

"Your winning streak ends here!"

More like continues, given the fact none of these guys pose a threat.

What in the world is that

That, my friends, is a new Fakemon presumably made from scratch. It's a / type by the name of Kenchira.

Kenchira replaces Cacnea in the Pokedex and evolves at level 48. His sprite looks funky, but he might become a big help later on.

Right now, he is fodder.

Not so fast, buster. I'm the one that robs people around these parts. (Unless your stuff is in the middle of nowhere, then I won't touch it.)

[A whupping later]

There's also this. I have to put in Walk-Through-Walls to see what that item even is, because there's no reason Cutlerine would just put it there as a tease.

: "Jack has no time for this garbage."

Oooh, a Beldum! The Metagross family has always been one of my favorites in the original Sapphire, even if I couldn't be assed to raise them.

Anyway, Psychic won't cut it. Switching over to a different person.

They have a secret? Is it tips on how to style afros? No thank you, then.

[A fight later]

"That will take you back to the entrance of the base. Heheheh..."

[He disappears like the rest]

Well, that was sinister. Let's keep going, though.

This is what the guy up top says. Believe it or not, we have to defeat all of the Deadly Seven to talk to this dude.

"Hah! Surprised? I'm the eight member of the Deadly Seven! Now prepare to --"

"No. You can't be. This is a new low for stupidity, even for this world."

Jack, you are The Best.

(Vladov): "Still doesn't change the fact that I'm now going to battle you."

[sighing]: "Oh, okay then. Whatever."

I feel this man's anguish 100% right now.

A room over, and you get a Nugget. Neat.

: "The ninth member of the Deadly Seven?"

(Adolv): "How'd you guess?"

(Adolv): "I'm not entirely certain."

Of course he's not. He has a Dratini, by the way.

(Adolv): "I said go face him!"

[Disappears like the others]

Jeez, pushy much? Anyway, let's go talk with the haiku man.

"You have defeated all of my companions? Well, then, I shall defeat YOU! Blue cheese haiku death spell, activate!"


You'd think that as the leader of the Deadly Seven (), he would have something amazing up his sleeve. No, he just has a Larvitar.

Nah, this is pretty unremarkable. The only reason I'm keeping this in is for formality. If I could, I would just skip to the next part.

"Go back to the sign near the entrance to this forest. There is a secret switch there."

That's what the secret was? Not tips on how to look like a bizarro Miror B.?

[Asimov disappears. I imagine him jumping off of the cliff face making a Superman pose.]

Anyway, this was the switch that Asimov was talking about. Not any of the other signs.

uh oh

[Fade to white]

... Uh? It's just a cave. I'm curious as to how big this island must be though, given its relatively small size on the overworld.

There's also this down here. I don't know what the difference would be other than the potions being military-grade, so you got me.

[Current audio: The Trick Master House theme]

... That's not a good sign. Also, why did Cutlerine put two healing spots right next to each other?

"Hey! You're that kid I was warned about! Well, you won't be getting through the Inquisition Boardroom!"

Oh right yeah, I forgot we were dealing with the Inquisition. I'm glad Cutlerine is making them a thing instead of just shoving them off to the side but...

He's a Salaryman with Hombone. Do these guys choose their Pokemon or is Hombone just a rental for joining?

"Do you realize that? We've installed a security system that repels unwanted intruders."

Oh, really? Let me test it out, then.

[Teleports Jack back to the start]


We've officially reached the part of Snakewood that I've dreaded ever since I've saw the let's plays for it. See, this whole boardroom segment is a giant test of memorization and if you screw up, you get booted back to the start.

Thankfully, I have a map on standby to help me get through this mess:

Isn't that GREAT? Cutlerine knew this part of the game was so annoyingly complicated he had to make a map for it. Anyway, moving on.

* Not pictured: Me failing a million times to get there. *

Also god damn it, they're back already.

(Mikov): "We're really, really fast."

Is it bad to say I legitimately laughed at Jack's misfortune?

Anyway, they're all just as easy as last time. Take note of Bellamine's level, however.

She's getting so close.

(Bobov): "I do..."

Boo for you.

[Skip skip]

(Third member): "Fufufufu... I am Gunkov! Be prepared for my fists of pounding fury!"

: "Your lines are completely different from last time."

After battle, Gunkov talks about something regarding Tree monsters, but it's just nonsense.


(Fourth member): "I am Karkov! And you are my deadly foe!"

They're not serious at all, Jack. They're trying to mess with you something fierce.

"Oh really? Thanks awfully. I'm Robotnov, the sixth member of the Deadly Seven."

I have nothing but sympathy for Jack and the crew.

That's a very good question.

: "No, you're not. We met about a half hour ago. You're Rolv of the Deadly Seven."

(Rolv): "Am I? Am I really?"

: "Yes."

(Rolv): "Hah!"

[Initiates a battle]


Yeah, right? Did they all escape from a mental asylum?

Oh no, they're stooping to this now!

How the hell do you provide commentary for this? I'm actually bewildered.


Oh god, they're trying to tear Jack's mind apart by breaking the fourth wall!

Well, good. No crazy banter.

... I just had to open my mouth.

Still not having trouble, by the way. Sure, I have to go back and refill on Psychic now and then, but these guys are more like a giant experience buffet more than anything actually dangerous.

So I thank them for that, at least.

(Asimov): "Okay, then! Here goes."

"Like sprightly monkfish
We gamble away our souls:
There is no nutmeg."

... Maybe these guys are called the Deadly Seven because their annoyance can kill?

... Don't make me hungry or you'll breathe your last.


There's more!?

that's it i'm out

... No, I can't just leave you guys hanging like that.

: "Oh god... It's you guys again."

Is anybody getting sick of the Deadly Seven already? Like damn, these guys just won't stop.

Bobov is going to make sure he stops us, to which Jack claims:

"I don't believe you. I've done it twice already."

Gunkov becomes a narrator for some reason, but it's not too terribly interesting as to what he says.

Healing kit just in case these guys were getting on your nerves.

... You know, a Fairy-type Gourgeist would be pretty cool.

Robotnov thinks he's the ninenteenth member of the Deadly Seven, which is too degenerate to properly respond to.

(Rolv): "Col. Ucalegon, reporting for duty!"

The saddest part is that Jack actually goes along with this, if only for a second. These guys are really getting to him, man.

(Rolv): "The enemy has been spotted! Engaging in warfare!"

Everything these guys say is tailor-made to drive people insane, have you noticed?

Sputnov starts spewing "I AM A ROM HACKER!" again, to which Jack replies with:

It's a test of endurance at this point.

(Sputnov): "No! I am not insane. The cucumbers are, though. You should arrest them."

Did Cutlerine sit down and think to himself: "I will put in a group of escaped mental convicts as the elite of the Inquisition and I'll make them super annoying so I can explain it off later on. Yes, this is a brilliant idea."

Like it's annoying how competent these guys are at being insane.

"I am not Adolv! I am his stunt double! Watch me perform a stunt!"

Yeah, okay, sure, whatever. Break a leg.



let's blow this taco stand

: "Yeah, I've been meaning to ask you. Why are you suddenly so friendly with me!"

(Asimov): "Because we're friends! I wrote you another haiku. Want to hear?"

: "Please, please no."

(Asimov): "Here I go!""All for your delight -
Though we are not here.
Cinnamon is good."

: ("Enough already.")

[Bellamine psycho-kinetically flings his Larvitar to the other end of the room - the end]

More of this stupid maze

: "With fifty percent of my sanity left intact, yes."

Uh? What's the problem, buddy?

Oh. Well, have fun with that.

You can get a Nest Ball, for whatever it's worth.

Oh no, what is this?

"Well, meddling kid, this is one room you won't get through!"

It's only predictable at this point.

"The 'X' panels on the floor unleash waves of terrible Wild Pokemon... hehe."

Oh god, I'm getting flashbacks to that one Rocket dungeon in Crystal. This is gonna suck.

: "... He did say they were terrible."

Dunking on Hombone aside, this part was just walking through X panels and encountering super weak Pokemon. I think we get it at this point.

With that said, that (thankfully) ends off this part of the dungeon and consequentially this episode of Snakewood. Next time, I don't even know what's going to happen.

... If I can be honest, guys? Behind the scenes, this whole maze thing was actually super taxing. I originally skipped through a lot of Deadly Seven dialogue because I had reached the point of "I DON'T CARE" and just sped through them all to get this update over with.

But that wouldn't have been cool. Admittedly, there's a fair bit of Deadly Seven dialogue that I still skipped - but I don't think we're missing anything of value.

Team setup:

(Reggie, , Level 27, has Leftovers, /) - "These brothers are cuckoo crazy!"
(Bellamine, , Level 31, ) - "What in the world did we get ourselves into?"
(Ambes, , Level 26, ) - "They are actually trying to annoy us to death! What the heck!"
(Zagon, , Level 29, has Plus Band, ) - [Is cuddling up to Jack out of sympathy]
(Ace, , Level 29, has Anadrin Talon, /) - "You Inquisition lot better not try anything or you'll get the business end of my talons."
(Tohru, , Level 26, /) - "You know, when I signed up for this, I didn't expect to deal with crazy people. But hey, that just means more faces to break."

Back-up Team:

(Benedict, level 18, /) - [Even from inside the egg, Benedict is overwhelmed by the Deadly Seven.]

(Alice, , level 12, ) - "What kind of dumpster did these guys come from? Their fashion sense is so whack."
(Jeanne, , level 18, ) - "How many times did Jack get teleported again? I'm dizzy!"
(Krusha, , level 12, /) - "Are there seven or ten or...? Agh, my head hurts."
(Ballin, , level 14, /) -[Is still playing the staring game with Pumbloom]
(Pumbloom, , level 14, ) - "Oh, okay, you win!"
(Cherry, , level 12, /) - [Trying to comprehend what the Deadly Seven are even saying half of the time, and failing]
(Shine, , level 12, ) - "The guys look like they're having a hard time."
(Spark, , level 12, ) - "I'm sorta glad we didn't come if this is what bro and Jack have to deal with all of the time."
Portrait Credits:

PMD Sprite Repository site: https://sprites.pmdcollab.org/

- Reggie (Paras & Parasect – Non-standard sprites are made by jackolanternjackalope. Parasect doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Bellamine (Kirlia & Gardevoir – Non-standard sprites are made by JFain and Ichor)

- Alice (Skitty & Delcatty – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron)

- Ace (Taillow & Swellow – Non-standard sprites are made by FunnyKecleonMeme and Caitemis)

- Tohru (Makuhita & Hariyama – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron. Hariyama doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Jeanne (Vulpix & Ninetales – Non-standard sprites are made by Meganai & baronessfaron)

- Ambes's portraits are all default ones

- Zagon (Zigzagoon & Linoone – Non-standard sprites are made by DasK. Linoone doesn’t have any new faces.)

- Benedict (Is an egg sprite made from scratch – made by Emboarger and ShyQuietRain)

- Shine & Spark (Pichu – Non-standard sprites are by C_Pariah)

- Cherry (Oddish & Bellossom – Non-standard sprites are by gromchurch, felis_licht and ShyQuietRain)

- Letro (Magnemite family – Non-standard sprites are Fearless-Quit, Emboarger and SirViolet. Magnezone doesn’t have any variants.)


- Meteor (Shiny version of Charizard – made by Adrian, SuperFabbioGuy and Murpi )

Chapter 11 - Into the Rabbit Hole


Oh boy, more of the Inquisition base. Hurray.

"I'd stop you, but that'd constitute working, and that's not allowed in the Employee Garden."

So even though Jack is an intruder that has steamrolled through a majority of your members, including what I assume are your bosses (The Deadly More-Than-Seven), you can't violate the rules of the Employee Garden to fight him.

Okay, whatever, I don't even care. No fighting equals a free Max Elixir.

One important thing to note: Do NOT go through this right exit.

This is why. It throws you out of the underground part of the base (somehow???) through the "loser exit" from a few parts back. Which means you have to go through the pain-in-the-ass maze again and the part with forced Pokemon encounters.

That's some master-class trolling and I swear to god I hate Cutlerine for it.

"I'm on my way to the Employee Garden. But, as a loyal salaryman, I will destroy you!"

Yeah, no. Nobody in the Inquisition has given Jack a hard time yet, and you're not going to either.

He does spice things up by bringing a Relicanth. One thing I find neat is that the Inquisition has a primarily Rock-focused set-up. That's a really weird typing for a villainous team to have, but hey I have to give points for originality.

I would say "why don't these guys try to beat up Jack with their fists" but that would just wind up with one of the Crew snapping them apart like a dry twig. That, or Jack knows martial arts like the Metal Gear Jack. I approve of both ideas, actually.

A teleporter puzzle too? Didn't you have enough of that back in the Boardroom?

Let's go into this one first.

Damn it, it was the wrong one. But hey, it can't be that bad. What, are they just going to throw more Level 5 Hombone at us?

"Something dark is coming..."

... What?

w-what is this

oh my god what is THAT

[Theme I would use for this thing as in-game it's just the stupid trainer theme: Giygas's Intimidation]

Meet Shaderu. A / legendary that is, by all accounts, one of the most disturbing new Fakemon in the entire hack. Sure, it may just look like a Gastly recolored black with a Haunter claw but let me just read you its Pokedex entry:

"Legend states that SHADERU is invisible. This is incorrect, of course - all it does is shroud itself in a dark cloud made of the burned souls of a thousand unborn children."

... I would crack a joke at this, but god damn it's just edgy enough to not make me want to say anything.

Also, yes, you are reading that right - Shaderu is level 80. This counts as a trainer battle, so you can't just catch Shaderu and get it over with. You are not supposed to lose this battle either, as it counts as a real game over and it kicks you back all the way out to Mauville City.

So for the love of god, don't go into the wrong teleporter.

2023 Dan Note: It's funny too because / would actually get picked up by Hisuian Zoroark more than a decade later.

This is the correct path to go to through. At least the maze wasn't very long, thank god.

This place has a dungeon to go through? The Inquisition Base is literally three dungeons stacked on top of each other because of this, so don't you think you're overdoing it a bit?

Jack is protected by the power of Plot and savestates, so of course he's going to make it here.

See what I mean about Rock-typing? I should take this time to mention that the Inquisition made their base all ****ed up because it's part of some artistic thing on the Deadly Seven's behalf.

They fight with the martial art of lunacy, which is basically to drive their opponent insane. Cool story idea, horrifyingly bad gameplay concept.

It does not excuse anything that we've experienced so far because no amount of explanation can justify this. He could have very easily taken the idea out and swapped it for something else that would have been less infuriating, made more sense and made the Inquisition look competent.

I mean, the zombies from earlier were very capable at kicking our ass without any special tricks so I don't understand the process behind this. Only thing staying my tongue is that Cutlerine made this when he was a teenager.

"You won't be able to get past our Shaderu-summoning traps, anyway."

... You mean the one I already passed that is the only set in the entire building? Idiot, I'm not going back the way I came.

Also, what technology did they use to summon Shaderu of all Pokemon? You'd think they would use that more often given how powerful the thing is. Maybe they can't control it, but that's giving this bad line way too much credit.

Leap of Faith?

... Please don't be what I think it is.

"Even more so than the rest of our building!"

Do you honestly think Jack even cares by this point, dude?

This guy has a Lunatone, though. It's a bit harder to take down than what we've been fighting with, given that it has Cosmic Power to boost its defenses, but that's why Reggie is here.

Reggie, you got a lot of **** in the earlier parts but now you're one of the best.

You should be apologizing to everybody but Hombone, dude.

"Well, I guess you won't get much further without a flashlight or a torch anyway."

Spoiler: You never get a flashlight.

... This is the Leap of Faith? Does that mean that it's another stupid maze!?

Actually, no. Unlike the migraine-inducing maze from before, there are invisible walls that guide you into the exit and it's not that bad really.

I don't understand why Cutlerine was so much of a hardass with the earlier parts of the base yet the later parts are a cakewalk as long as you go the right way. I'm not complaining because it means we get through this faster.

[Current audio in-game: Mt. Pyre Peak]

So these are the dungeons? I love the Mt. Pyre theme though, so any excuse for it to play is a good one in my book.

.. You know, I think the Inquisition uses Hombone so often because it's a readily accessible Pokemon to catch. Not that it makes it a good idea, mind you.

Gaoler - "a person in charge of a jail or of the prisoners in it." (Often pronounced the same way as "jailer", since jail is a derivation of gaol.)

Interesting. Let's see what kind of Pokemon he has.

Your fault for choosing Corsola of all Pokemon, dude.

Spontaneous ledge jumping.

This is the second Nest Ball we've gotten in this base for some reason.

That dude reeks of plot progression. Too bad we can't jump down ledges that thick.

... I don't know why, but they deserve a disco song.

The actual battle is nothing special.

Jack must be rich as hell from all the fighting, though.

- The problem of every defeated Pokemon trainer ever

... Is that lava?

Oh hey, it's Gleis. They kept him here of all places?

"If you came over here, I can explain further."

I'm pretty sure if it was real lava, the both of you would be melted just from standing next to the heat.

"The Inquisition seem to not have any, so they've used orangeade instead. You can easily surf across."

I don't know what's more embarassing - the fact Jack confused orangeade with lava, Gleis not swimming through it himself or the fact the Inquisition put their prisoners behind orangeade moats like it's a normal thing.

Clearly Gleis doesn't want to stain his clothes because they're a designer brand.

Jack is perfect as an audience surrogate.

This is what I meant earlier when I said we'd be surfing on more than just water. Just be glad Cutlerine didn't go the ultra-edgy route and make it a moat of blood instead.

"The Inquisition got me by surprise and took my Pokegear! It was a vintage Johto model with a built-in conduit for the Tao... If you could get it back from the Inquisition scientists, I could blast us out of here in no time at all."

That'd certainly be appreciated after all of this madness.

How old is Jack, by the way? He looks like he's in his late teens if not in his twenties.

This place gets weirder and weirder.

: "Yeeeeeeah, a bit too late for that, pal."

There's also this. What the hell, dude. You're supposed to walk behind that tree, by the way.

The cliff is trying to eat his head.

That didn't take long.

[Current audio in-game: The Rocket Inquisition theme from before]

"What? Give back Gleis's Pokegear? No way, I need it for my research! Plus, I get control of his Pokemon this way. In fact, let me demonstrate..."

How does this work? Did they steal his Pokemon too?

Hi, Maxie with a green haircut and a labcoat. Like come on. Also, that name:

wrongdoing, especially by a public official."

I can't say Snakewood isn't teaching me new things.

Where did Gleis get a Haunter? I want one too! Well, at the very least he's not just sticking to Faceleech anymore.


We may be stronger, but so is Faceleech as Level 36 is pretty grisly for this part of the game. Like always, if you don't have a priority move like Quick Attack then Faceleech will rip you apart with zero mercy.

Hence why Ace is here. Atta boy.

Remember when Faceleech used to be scary? Ha yeah, those were good times.

A Qwilfish. Am I to suspect it will evolve the next time we fight Gleis? For now though, it's target practice for Thunderbolt.

Reggie classing 'em with the best of 'em.

Define "powerful" because that was actually a pretty comfortable fight for me.

"I know... I failed because Gleis's Pokemon will only obey their true owner. I guess I have no choice. Here - take this Pokegear."

Dude, nice try. I know you're trying to sound important but that's not the reason why you lost. Jack is just too good for you.

Alright, cool. I wish we could keep it though.

"After all, you've legitimately defeated Wattson."


Damn straight.

: "You mean my sight, son."

... Wow, we just could not catch a break. I remember how exhausting playing through this certain bit was. There are no healing spots in this part of the Inquisition Base, so if you happen to get a Mon knocked out or are low on supplies then your only choice is to backtrack through the torture maze.

Thank the lord all we have to do left is talk to Gleis, because if we had to keep going then I'm pretty sure I would have legitimately lost.

"Splendid! You got back my Pokegear! Now, let's go! Activating..."

Awww yeah. Let's blow this taco stand!

[No actual sound effect is played]

: "What? I can't hear anything."

: "It's the Inquisition. I feel their presence disturbing the Tao. Listen, I'll teleport you out of here with my Pokegear. I think I'll have a little fun with these vermin, now that Faceleech and I are reunited once more. But before I do, please take this as thanks for helping me out."

That sounds pretty badass. I wish I could stay around to see Faceleech rip apart Inquisition footmen. Also oooh, a gift.

: "Really? Thanks, Gleis!"

He gave us Rock Smash.


And he teleports us out of the loony bin too! I adore this man even more than I already did.

Finally, some sanctuary!

"Pokecenters will always be there! Even when zombie wars rage around us! Now, can I heal your Pokemon?"

: "You sure can, doll."

Jack x Nurse Joy never. </3

Also WHOA when did we get rich!? We'll have no worries about money from now on, christ.

And this is just the cherry on top of the dollar sundae.

[Current audio in game: Route 111 Theme]

Famine turned the entire area above Mauville City into a giant desert... I'm not complaining, I love the desert theme too.

"Urrghhh.... I challenged a Troll to a battle, but he was way too powerful - his bag is huge and holds more than six Pokemon."

Wait, what? Whoa. That sounds really interesting, if a little disconcerting.

Swap out that awful Vital Throw, and... Tohru, you know what you have to do.

: ("On it, boss.")

With that said, that ends off this episode of Pokemon Snakewood. Next time, we're going to brave through Famine's Desert.

Team setup:

(Reggie, , Level 28, has Leftovers, /) - "Ey, Jack. You mind if I take a little break? Won't be long."
(Bellamine, , Level 32, ) - "We're finally out of that nightmare! Thank goodness!"
(Ambes, , Level 28, ) - [Hugs both Shine and Spark upon coming into the Pokecenter]
(Zagon, , Level 30, has Plus Band, ) - [Lies on the ground, exhausted]
(Ace, , Level 29, has Anadrin Talon, /) - "... And you see, I was this close to getting gobbled up by its giant leech facehole."
(Tohru, , Level 27, /) - [Is outside busting rocks with his bare fists for practice]

Back-up Team:

(Benedict, level 18, /) - [rolls up to Jack with a warm glow]
(Alice, , level 12, ) - "Good thing I didn't go, otherwise I would have gone feral, nya!"
(Jeanne, , level 18, ) - "You said it, sister."
(Krusha, , level 12, /) - "Oh man, I really should have been there to kick some ass!"
(Ballin, , level 14, /) - [Is listening to Ace's totally thrown out of proportion story]
(Pumbloom, , level 14, ) - "S-so what happened next, Mr. Ace?"
(Cherry, , level 12, /) - "Honestly, it would have been much better if I had went, sweetie."
(Shine, , level 12, ) - [Is overjoyed that Ambes is safe]
(Spark, , level 12, ) - "Man, you had us going there bro. You looked pretty beat up when you came in..."

Portrait Credits:

PMD Sprite Repository site: https://sprites.pmdcollab.org/

- Reggie (Paras & Parasect – Non-standard sprites are made by jackolanternjackalope. Parasect doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Bellamine (Kirlia & Gardevoir – Non-standard sprites are made by JFain and Ichor)

- Alice (Skitty & Delcatty – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron)

- Ace (Taillow & Swellow – Non-standard sprites are made by FunnyKecleonMeme and Caitemis)

- Tohru (Makuhita & Hariyama – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron. Hariyama doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Jeanne (Vulpix & Ninetales – Non-standard sprites are made by Meganai & baronessfaron)

- Ambes's portraits are all default ones

- Zagon (Zigzagoon & Linoone – Non-standard sprites are made by DasK. Linoone doesn’t have any new faces.)

- Benedict (Is an egg sprite made from scratch – made by Emboarger and ShyQuietRain)

- Shine & Spark (Pichu – Non-standard sprites are by C_Pariah)

- Cherry (Oddish & Bellossom – Non-standard sprites are by gromchurch, felis_licht and ShyQuietRain)

- Letro (Magnemite family – Non-standard sprites are Fearless-Quit, Emboarger and SirViolet. Magnezone doesn’t have any variants.)


- Meteor (Shiny version of Charizard – made by Adrian, SuperFabbioGuy and Murpi )

Check out some of my screenshot LPs!:

Pokemon Snakewood Remaster (Complete) || Pokemon Dark Rising Remaster (On-going)

Rainbow Chara X

Impossible to gauge!

Age 27
Shiny Hunting in Sinnoh
Seen 3 Days Ago
Posted 4 Weeks Ago
120 posts
7.9 Years

We've got a three parter on our hands! Consider this the climax of the first part of the game.

(Portrait credits will be stored in chapter 14 since it's the bottom of the page.)

Chapter 12 - Famine's Desert


I know I said I would be going to Famine's Desert (hell it's even the title of today's first chapter), but how about some back-tracking now that we're armed with Rock Smash?

"Why is it moving around the region so much?"

He doesn't give you anything and he brings you out of the way for nothing. What a ripoff.

The Arclight Spanner does not break itself, fortunately. Although, I'm not sure what it can be used for aside from breaking this box.

I missed this dude on my last venture. He yelled about how you shouldn't stereotype swimmers as only having Water-types but he only had a Nuzleaf and a Grumpig. Funny thing, the Grumpig knew Splash, so I imagined it helplessly drowning while trying to fight Reggie.

Going back to this mini-island, let's see what this lady has to say. Maybe she'll give us something cool?

"I loved the sea once... But when my father was devoured by a monster that crawled from its waves, it broke my heart."


But hey, thanks for the Broken Heart anyway.

Yes, I really traveled all the way back to Rustboro just to get this one item.

Just for this. It's not great enough to warrant coming back this far.

There's nothing from this end of the cave, by the way. You're blocked off by a horde of zombies that won't move unless you come in the proper way, so sigh. At least I had Teleport to bring me back to New Mauville otherwise this would have taken forever.

: ("You're welcome, by the way.")

I should also take this time to mention something important I found on Serebii regarding Bellossom and Cherry's eventual fate as a member of the team.

These are Bellossom's stats. That Speed is pretty bad, and she doesn't really have much of a moveset to utilize that 90 Special Attack...

HOWEVER, I went and took a look at Roselia's stats for the sake of comparison.

What a difference. Mind you, Bellossom is a fully evolved Pokemon that requires a stone.

Meanwhile, Roselia is sitting here with a delectable 100 base Special Attack, 15 more Speed without having to evolve and Mega Drain, a move that Gloom does not get period. You know what I must do.

: ("Oh, hello there! Pleased to make your acquaintance.")

Welcome to the team, my dear.

If Roserade was in this hack, Beatrice would be on the team permanently. Alas, she is only good as a Roselia.

Future Dan: Just a heads up. I'm astonished at this remark in particular because she does make incredible use of her true potential later on... just not in Snakewood proper. Trust me.

Ambes, buddy, you're gonna have to sit this one out.

: ("No problem. Pretty sure Ice Punch won't save me from getting snapped up by the desert, so I'll just stay here.")

I love this damn desert theme.

I did some grinding off screen with Beatrice to get her toughened up, but in the process I found something very interesting.

You can find wild Golem here!

They're a rare encounter though, so the fact my first battle here was with one is hella lucky. They give a ton of experience if you beat them, so that's good too.

In hindsight, that makes Krusha an unfortunate encounter too because he's just a Geodude...

Climb up the hill, and there's a strange blue man waiting for you. What does he have to give us?

"Oho! Another foolhardy adventurer? I shall defeat thee, with all the power of a Troll!"

Wait, what? He's the Troll that dude was talking about? The one with more than six Pokemon?

His appearance is appropriately troll-like. It's actually pretty good for this game's overall sprite quality.

It's the freaky Golbat sprite from Gen 1! Of course the Troll of all people would have this thing.

One Psychic takes him out, but IT PIERCES INTO MY SOUL.

This is what he says when you beat him each time, by the way.

Why can't we hold more than six Pokemon like this dude? He has the right idea.

None of them are all that special, so don't think this dude is actually dangerous.

He had a Pineco that Ace chopped up with a few Wing Attacks.

Look at the difference. Beatrice is literally 11 levels lower than the Hombone and look at how much damage she already did.

I don't know if this is a testament to how powerful Beatrice is or how weak Hombone is.

There was also this Spinda. They try to use Hypnosis on you and confuse you with Dizzy Punch, but Tohru had none of that.

"This - this is not possible! I am a great and noble Troll! Thou hast not the power to defeat me!"

He's very eloquent for a Troll, I'll give him that.

His best? Oh no, what is it?

Just a Machoke? You're serious?

[Bellamine used Psychic!]

Yeah, get outta here.

"Since you have beaten me, the Troll of the Desert, I shall confer upon to you this useful item."

Oh wow, we actually get an award for all of that?

The Brain Link is essentially the Exp. Share under a different name. Pretty awesome award for just a few battles, if I can say so.

There was also this. It's... nice, I guess.

: "... But I already beat the troll."

[Jack sighs]

: "I'd help you out man, but the only things that could help only work on Pokemon. Sorry."

Of course, with this being Famine's Desert, there have to be Chefs around here.

The only thing special about this dude is that his name is (probably??) a reference to Durarara.

There were also two Chefs here, but Jack blasted them away before I could screencap it properly.

Up and to the right you can find a Broken Heart. That makes it the fifth one we've collected, so that's pretty good.

Down here, you can find a medical kit and some trainers. Let's go talk to the two in green.

"Hey, you look tough! How about joining the Hoenn Internal Affairs Army?"

These guys are the stand-ins for the reporter duo that ask you questions, only armed with an Uzi and a Rocket Launcher.

Despite their scary guns, they go down without much of a fight.

"Look, kid, if you don't want to join the Army, then at least give us a quote for our report. How about it? Will you help two overworked Army officers who haven't been paid since the invasion began to file their report?"

Jack answered with ellipses, by the way. Poor bastards, though.

: "... I didn't even say anything. Yeah, I'm gonna go..."

rock'n'roll magic


"Damn! I was enchanting this rock for protection and you made me lose concentration! Now I have to start all over!"

I'm surprised this dude didn't use his magic rock'n'roll to help anybody else. Snakewood, you silly-ass game.

You can get Sandstorm here, although I wouldn't recommend using it. But uh-oh, here comes more of that pesky plot!

[Flash of light]

: "It isn't so painful this time..."

"Jack! Are - are you alright? Oh, this is bad..."

: "Alicia? I'm fine. It's ok."

: "Thank goodness. We have to get out of here! The ceiling is collapsing!"


: "Jack...!"

[Flash of light]

"That was way longer than any other flashback I've had so far. Where was I? Why was Alicia helping me?"

Jack, you'd better be glad I care about you enough to go with this plot.

: ".... I guess the only answers lie up with that guy up there on the hill. Famine, I'm coming to get you!"

Yeah, let's go kick some ass!

You're in the way. Bellamine, if you please?

You too. These guys are only useful for slowing me down. At least they get turned back to normal when I beat them.

[Current audio in-game: Mt. Pyre inside theme]

"Oh? Who's this, then?"

I swear the original color of that text on a white text box is not flattering to look at. (Nor is it pleasant on a white mode background on a forum, unfortunately.)

"This is Jack, sir. The one who's been causing so much trouble."

: "I see. You must be the one who defeated my sister and ruined our demon invasion in the west. If you don't mind me saying, you look very familiar. Have we met?"

: "I don't know, I lost my memory when you guys destroyed my town. Who are you? What do you want? And where's my brother and May?"

Jack, dude, do you honestly think a person that looks like that will provide you with the answers you want?

"I never thought you would have survived that attack. As for your brother... Well, you came to the right place. He was here once. He discovered my little pet, and would have defeated it had we not captured him and his friend in time."

: "Where are they? Tell me!"

: "Fufu... You always were funny when you were angry. Lord Gravetric always used to like say so."

This dude is like a slightly more smug version of Ephidel from Fire Emblem 7. By the way, I had to edit the sprite of Famine as he has none proper in the actual game.

You're welcome, Cutlerine.

[Famine walks off screen]

Wait, what? The big, bad Famine hyped up to be like the master of this Desert with crowds of Former Chefs and his best course of action is to sic Alicia on us. While running away.

... What a spineless little skunt.

Yeah, you're not sorry. Shut up and fight.

Her Shuppet evolved into a Banette and tried to use Curse on Ace, but the sacrifice was for naught as he got switched out anyway.

Also, fun fact - In Snakewood, Banettes are / - hence why Alicia's Banette was ripped to shreds by just one Wing Attack.

There was also this Duskull. In the future when this thing becomes a Dusclops, she becomes a super tank. For now though, Bellamine overwhelms her with a Psychic.

Four times weakness overkill. Like god damn.

: "Alicia, what is all this? Why does everyone know me? Who are you really?"
: "... Perhaps I ought to tell you after all."
: "Go on."

This ought to be good.

"We've all worked so hard to make this attack real..."

... The hell? That's definitely a suspicious thing to say.

[Alicia walks off screen]

: "This is so frustrating! Every time I meet anyone, there are just more mysteries piling up. I have to get to the bottom of this and find my brother. And for that, I'll have to find Famine and Alicia."

Jack, I feel your pain. This is frustrating to everybody involved.

As we try to leave, however, we get contacted by the good Prof.

: "Hi! Your Pokephone's tracker got cut off for a while, so I got worried. What happened?"

"There were madmen and orangeade."

: "Sounds like fun!"

: "No, no it wasn't."

Birch, what the hell is your idea of fun if madmen can be a part of it?

: "Anyway, what's happening now?"
: "I'm in the desert, where my brother supposedly discovered something. I've just met Famine of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and that Alicia woman."

"Yes, I had just met a member of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse like it was no deal. He ran away like a coward, though."

"I'd tell you to keep searching, but I have a request."

: "Yep? What is it, Prof?"

: "I've been contacted by the good people of the Mountain Monastery."

: "The what?"

: "Oh, you've lost your memory, right? The Monastery was built on the site of Lavaridge Town after Lavaridge was destroyed by a volcanic eruption. Anyway, go there and tell a guy called Sage Kanzaki that I sent you."

Lavaridge was destroyed?!

If Cutlerine got rid of Flannery, then he's dead to me.

: "Okay, then. What's this about, by the way?"

: "All in good time, Jack. Don't worry - it shouldn't be anything you can't handle."

And he hangs up on us. Thanks, doc.

: "I would have appreciated it if I knew what I was doing for at least ONCE on this adventure."

: ("Me too, but... I don't really have any complaints as long as we have you to lead us.")

: ("Hell, I'd gladly follow you anywhere after what you did for me. Safe to say that's what everybody else thinks too.")

: "Aw thanks. You guys are what keeps me going, honestly..."

"A strong scent of powerful magic is coming from beyond. It would be unwise to go further, I think."

Let's not mess around here any longer.

That said, I'm convinced. The landscape itself has a grudge against me.

Route 112 is the only place we really can go. There was an event here that stopped you from proceeding until you beat Alicia, but if you went through the grass path the game didn't stop you. Lazy programming on Cutlerine's part for sure.

"I can get past those Chefs in the desert."

: "... Don't do it, man."

: "Then fight with the other guy over there. Or hell, just fight in the grass. Anything but me!"

I found this funny in a cosmic sort of way.

Also, Pelipper out of nowhere. Free EXP~

The hell? Why is this guy roaring at me?


There are still more demons to fight and surprise, surprise, they are blue recolors of the already unimpressive demon guys we fought back in Rusturf Tunnel. It doesn't make sense why they would be at Mount Chimney, though. Isn't this place supposed to be a volcano?

Still though, the overworld sprite was super lazy. Cutlerine could have easily used something else.

This dude has a Seel. Chalk them up to the "Pokemon from Hell" list too.

If you're going to make them the Pokemon of demons, make them the intimidating ones at least.

Hi Snorunt! Say hello to Tohru's fist.

I have no time for a staring contest, dude.

I will, however, give your friend the time of day. He has a Glalie that could have been a problem but got putzed by Tohru's Rock Smash.

Tremble in fear, Hombone, for your end is nigh!

There's nothing up here, by the way, so don't bother checking.

[Current audio in-game: Sealed Chamber]

Holy smokes, Batman!

This is one of the few areas in Snakewood that I outright love due to how beautiful it is. It's one of the few things that Cutlerine got right, surprisingly enough.

The mist, the music, the icy area - it's pretty great. Although I'm seriously curious as to how the hell a volcano turned into an ice cave.

Damn it, why does Hombone have to be everywhere like this? It's ruining the mood.

You can get Blizzard from the space in front of Jack just in case you wanted a strong Ice attack. Hurray!

[Current audio in game: Mt. Pyre Peak theme]

This place has the Mt. Pyre Peak theme too? That's another place I can visit just to hear the song, I guess.

(Water Bottles cure burns, by the way. I wish that's how it worked in real life.)

Whoa, that's a fancy sprite all things considered. The ghostly Medicham arms are pretty cool.

These monks are part of the Monastery that's not too far off here, and they're armed with Psychic types.

To think, we could have had a Baltoy.

... Not that it could have been as good as Reggie, of course.

: ("Damn right, mon.")

"You'll find the monster down in the desert, back through the Frigid Way."

: "... I don't remember taking on a quest to defeat the monster??"

That fellow is trying to guard the way, but he's one of the few people who doesn't actually fight us. Logic.

Shakya Monastery, huh? Well, I'm glad there's a Poke Center at least. I wasn't sure if we were going to get a refill after all of that fighting.

[Current audio in-game: Sootopolis City]

Another of my favorite Gen 3 songs! I guess it's a good thing this place uses the same tileset as Sootopolis.

Honestly though, the Monastery is another place I like in the game even if it's not as good as the Frigid Way. With that said, this ends off this episode of Snakewood and I'll see you guys next time. Which shouldn't take long, really.

Team setup:

(Reggie, , Level 30, has Leftovers, /) - "Brr! It's a bit too chilly for me."
(Bellamine, , Level 33, ) - "This Monastery might be one of the few safe havens left in Hoenn, so I think it's good if we all get some rest."
(Beatrice, , Level 26, /) - "Oho? Snow? Interesting~"
(Zagon, , Level 30, has Plus Band, ) - [Jumps headfirst into the snow with glee]
(Ace, , Level 30, has Anadrin Talon, /) - "I'm with Reggie on this one. Cripes, my wings are already icing up!"
(Tohru, , Level 31, /) - "Hwahaha! It sure is a fine day to make a snowman!"

Back-up Team:

(Benedict, level 18, /) - [bounce, bounce]
(Alice, , level 12, ) - "... Can I stay inside, meow?"
(Jeanne, , level 18, ) - "Aw, come on, Alice! It's gonna be fun!"
(Krusha, , level 12, /) - "Says the fire type! Sheesh."
(Ballin, , level 14, /) - [Is seriously wondering if he'll ever be used]
(Pumbloom, , level 14, ) - "Um.. are you THE Ambes?"
(Cherry, , level 12, /) - "Jack found a new Grass/Poison type?"
(Ambes, , Level 28, ) - "Oh? What is it, Pumbloom?"
(Shine, , level 12, ) - "He looks up to everybody that's stayed with Jack the longest, Ambes."
(Spark, , level 12, ) - "The fact you're here is making him starstruck."

Chapter 13 - His Worthiness


Now that we're at the spontaneously snow-covered Shakya Monastery, let's go talk with some of the monks here.

"We live in fear. One Sage per generation is allowed to use his powers to defend the Monastery, and that one is Izumii. If he should fail, we will all die."

Jesus, that's laying it quite a bit thick for one person to defend the entire Monastery. Of course, I can kind of understand a normally pacifistic sect not using their powers to fight. However, self-defense is a pretty good excuse to stop the Monastery from falling apart.

I mean, they all have Pokemon and train with them, so... I don't know.

"These statues are of Barqesh, the man who revealed the Ultimate Truth of reality into the world."

... I'm not one for questioning worldviews but this sounds like complete donkey dookey.

By Barqesh, he means the strange yellow monster in front of us. Well, the statue of him, anyway.

Okay, serious question. How the hell did the monks put up their monastery here so quickly? Wasn't this literally only a few years after the events of Gen 3? I find it really hard to swallow that they managed to build this entire site and have "generations" of Sages in that timespan.

"Magma became glassy ice, and the Ice-type Pokemon came to live here. Because our sect believes that the cold is necessary for the attention of enlightenment, we came here too."

So they are nomads. However, that still raises more questions than answers them.

A volcano in a tropical region like Hoenn will not just suddenly freeze over after it erupts because it's not a cold enough environment to warrant it.

"E-e-e-eh... That monster in the desert has been working with the Demons. They bring the ice that destroys the land, and the monster that brings the sand that blights the soil."

... So the Frost Demons are the real reason why Mt. Chimney froze over. Alright, I'll take that explanation. I don't really care, let's just get through this.

... Hello, unfortunate name number #6.

I wonder what he sells.

Oh, he's Snakewood's equivalent of the Herb Shop. I would buy these if I had a grudge against my Pokemon, but they're one of the few things I actually like in this. So nope.

"The Sage rotates slowly on his own axis, despite being seated in the lotus position. He is truly a powerful monk."

Interesting, to say the least. I like it when the Pokemon world has these kinds of trainers.

There's also this, but the Poke Center does a much better job at many other things. This is just here for novelty, I guess.

Fancy set-up. He must be the elder, then.

"You must help us, young one! Please, go forth to the desert, and destroy the foul monstrosity that our brother Izumii is currently attacking."

: "So the person chosen to use their powers to protect the Monastery, who is apparently more skilled with psychic powers than I ever could be, needs my help? What the hell would I even do?"

: ("... Jack, brother, you do realize that we're here right?")

: "Yeah, Reggie, but everybody says I'm the one that has the powers. They never credit you guys for some reason. I mean, yeah, I know some moves but I'm completely out of my league with this."

: ("I don't really mind as long as we protect you, but the lack of respect from these people sure is getting on my nerves.")

: "Yeah, it's getting really annoying. Anyway, let me check something."

"You don't understand what they're saying. It's in some old, forgotten language."

I'm glad Cutlerine is at least making an effort to make these people seem mysterious.

Anyway, Ambes, let's go. We're going monster hunting in the desert.

: ("W-wh-what!? Jack, you can't be serious! I'll get slaughtered out there!")

: "You're in no real danger. I know this for a fact."

: ("A-alright, I believe you.")

The land is coming apart at the seams!

That glitch is honestly really freaky looking.

... The monster is an Aerodactyl of all things.

It's... cool, I guess? Oh and look, he actually changed the overworld sprite! This man is so hot and cold about the quality of his work, I swear.

"For many days I have laboured, using my magics to seal off the beast that Famine summoned here to destroy the land and form the desert. I drove it into this corner, and by sheer willpower I am keeping it there. But I fear I cannot hold out much longer... Go forth, young warrior, and defeat this abomination of the land!"

Yo, that's actually pretty badass. For a regular human using only magic, he did an impressive job fighting this thing.

Let's rip it a new one!


Sure, it may be like the Red Gyarados of this hack but there goes the plan of fighting this guy. I have a feeling he will live longer switching loyalties to Jack.

Ambes, you're up.

: ("Jack, are you insane!? This guy is LEVEL 40! You're going to get me killed!")

: "... You were saying?"

: ("I-... Wow! Don't scare me like that.")

: ("But damn that was a nice save!")

: "All in a day's work."

His name shall be Helmaroc because I have no adequate answer beyond Zelda reference.

"You - you defeated the monster? Your power is great indeed, young one. I can finally return home. Thank you for your great kindness."

: "Defeated isn't the word I'd use, but it was nothing, really. All I did was throw a few Pokeballs."

"Aha! You have defeated the Aerodactyl. But there are still dark forces at work here. The demons still hold the peak of the mountain. I must ask you to destroy them for me. When you return, go to the Tower. At its peak, I shall wait for you."

Alright, let's go do just that. I'm up for blasting some demons.

Now that we have the clearance, we can go into the mountain. I wonder what's in store for us?

I'm not impressed by all of this blue. I am, however, impressed by an easy to use healing spot.

[Current audio in-game: Of course]

Gen 3 has some of the best songs period. Gushing about the music aside, I should mention that I really do like the iced over setting even if the only explanation is "Frost Demons did it".

Oh no, Inquisition members. But hey, at least they're fighting the visually dissonant Frost Demons for us!

There's nothing in that house, by the way, so don't bother looking.

You know, when I asked what was going to be here, I didn't want to hear "The Deadly Seven."

And to think this was going to be a good day.

"As if you never beat me, here's... Mikov!"

Yes, like everybody wanted to see you guys again. Why does the Inquisition keep these guys around?

He has two Glooms and this Vileplume, but Ace dealt with them easily.

(Bobov): "Onions! Pears! Gasoline! What's the answer to my riddle? Find out - after the battle!"


Ambes, ice this rattata!

: [Cracks knuckles]

Atta boy.

Oh and Tohru had to handle the Steelix because you're bonkers if Ambes is going up against that thing.

: "You are SO not funny."

Preach it, Jack. I'm sick of this too.

"Oh! Jack! It is I, Sage Izumii! I came here to fight with you, in thanks for your help in the desert. Go on, I'll hold them off!"

This man deserves my respect as a badass.

"Here I am, folks! Time to rumble with the Gunkmeister!"

: "You changed your personality again?!"

It actually kind of physically hurt writing out that line for Gunkov. He has two Kenchira, but they're no big deal.

Why couldn't that have actually been what happened?

Okay, this is just dumb. Next!

At least these fights aren't long, but god damn it why these guys again?

He was trying to act like Yoda. Yeah, like any of this is going to stop Jack from beating their asses.

You poor, poor bastard.

: ("Eww!")


bellamine blast the thing already

My garden of psyducks to give is completely barren. Let's just move on.

Oh hey, look, something that isn't a migraine the Deadly Seven!

"Go back to there you came from or I'll destroy you!"

: "Fufufufu... What an amusing thought. You think you can destroy me? Let me show -"

Chloe: "A civilian? Get back! This is an extremely dangerous situation!"

I thought she would have recognized Jack just from how much trouble he's caused?

"Demon, I won't let you take innocent lives! Prepare to be cast into the Aby--"

[Chloe is flung back a few paces]

"Pathetic. And here I was thinking that you might prove an interesting opponent. You Taoists are all nothing to me."

So he beat a Taoist just like that. How the hell are we supposed to fight him?

"You defeated Alicia, even weakened as you were by my crippling sandstorms. You are a formidable foe. I shall fight you when I am better prepared."

[Famine teleports away]

... What. He beats Chloe like it's no big deal, but runs away from Jack almost instantly? Famine is the biggest coward in the entire hack!

The story sets him up to be like this badass with a ton of control, yet everything with him ends in a major anti-climax! Like come on, Cutlerine.

"Hm? Aren't you the kid who's been messing with our people along with Gleis?"

: "Yes. You're the bad guys, Gleis and I are the good guys - that's how it works."

I would say this is awfully black and white for Jack but after what he had to go through in the Inquisition Base, I don't hold it against him for adopting this mindset at all.

"Don't you know he's up to?"

: "He's fighting the Four Horsemen and their zombie legions... Right?"

Chloe: "True, but not for the reasons you think. He's serving another master. A darker master than even the Horsemen and their ally Meteor. That master is also launching an invasion of Hoenn in the east, and Gleis is the spy sent to destroy the western forces from within."

: "That's crazy!"

So Gleis is a bad guy? Maybe? I don't know how reliable Chloe's information is.

This is actually super complicated. I might write up a chart for this later, just to help me understand it.

"A strong trainer like you - we need your help! Before you arrived, that demon said something about him being angry that his sister had been defeated. That was you, wasn't it?"

: "... Yeah. I defeated Pestilence."

Chloe: "You see? No one else in this region could have done that. We need your strength!"

:"I don't know... Gleis has helped me out a lot."

Chloe: "Has he? What has he actually done?"

("And come to think of it, he lied when he told me I would find answers in New Mauville.")

Jack, you idiot, he's the one that teleported you back to New Mauville out of the Inquisition Base. Also, he's the one who gave you Rock Smash.

Then again, aside from that, he hasn't actually done anything to help.

: "I guess you're right."

Chloe: "Really? Fantastic! I'm glad you realize that! Look, I have to go but I would appreciate it if you would drop by my house later."

You can tell him just asking this is giving him a giant cold sweat.

Chloe: "Oh no. The base you invaded was our secondary base. I live in our main base, north of here in Fallarbor. Well, see you!"

[Screen fades to black, followed by Chloe disappearing]

Well, that was a fun exposition dump. Makes me curious who the real bad guy is in all this. You know, aside from the obvious overlord looming over our heads.

"Oh! Thank you so much for your help! The demons and those odd government people have left. On behalf of the Sangha, I declare you a pure soul. If you so choose, you may now enter the sacred Shakyamuni Tower. Well, farewell!"

[Izumii walks off]

Aw snap, we're worthy now.

If you tried to go into that tower before this, you would get kicked out by a booming disembodied voice, so I don't blame Jack for being scared of it this time.

Shakyamuni is another name for Buddha, which is appropriate for the Monastery.

Take us back, babe.

: ("As you wish, Jack. Although you could have just walked down and gotten some cardio.")

: "I think I've had enough for one day, thank you."

"This is the Shakyamuni Tower. Only the truly worthy may climb it and grace our elders with their power."

I'm pumped already. Let's go inside.

[Current audio in-game: ... The first part of the title theme?]

... Interesting choice of music. That said though, the song doesn't last very long. It just cuts out and nothing else plays, which sorta proves the title screen theme isn't a good idea for an area theme.

: "Of course."

These Sages are pretty cool, all things considered.

You could even say... ice cold.

I am not apologizing!

Isn't that why Jack is here? That he's a "pure" guy?

Oh hey, he has a Claydol. Not that it's much of a hassle, but that's some delicious EXP coming our way.

I also neglected to mention that all of the Sages have the Rival Battle theme, which is cool and all but the fights tend to end really quickly thanks to how fragile the Sages' mons are.

I have nothing to really say other than these guys are really easy. I can understand why Izumii is the only one that's capable of protecting the Monastery thanks to everybody else's set-ups.

"An odd man came by earlier, looking for the Chikuwa Salesman who lives on the top of the mountain. Inconveniently, he left his armor here, and since we are sworn to peace, we can't use it. You may as well have it."

Came by where? In the Tower or in the Monastery in general? Also, that's complete nonsense because you guys train with Pokemon and use them to fight with Jack.

It's just the Focus Band under a super sinister name but thanks anyway.

"You're getting close now! Soon, you will meet our Elder. But first..."

... This guy noticed me from beyond the graves. That is not an event, either. That's actually how he chooses to fight you!

These guys really are psychic!

Introduction aside, he's nothing special.

[Current audio in-game: Suicune battle theme]

"Ah! Greetings, Jack. Once again, allow me to thank you for helping us with our problems."

I like this guy already.

: "No, it's fine. Just doing my job. By the way, you haven't heard anything about my the Pokemon Champion, have you? I heard he was last seen in the desert area."

Elder: "Landon? Yes, he found the Aerodactyl in the desert. He tried to catch it for us, but only managed to weaken it. I should think that is why you were able to defeat it."

Wait, he weakened it? As in, he actually knocked it down a few levels? So what Jack just caught was actually the toned down version? Christ.

Doubftul, considering he's the Champion and you're still in the mid 30s range in terms of overall level.

: "Do you know where he went?"

Elder: "I believe he went to the east, to get back to Ever Grande and try to get the help of the Elite Four."

... Guys I want you to imagine this. The Elite Four vs. the Four Horsemen. It would be dumb as hell, but it would also be amazing.

"One more question - what is with those arms I can see behind you?"

Elder: "Oh! You can see them? You must have the second sight. Those arms are my psychic power. They are invisible to most people. Now, I believe I promised you a battle. If you win, I shall make a gift to you!"

: "You're on!"

That's actually pretty cool. I mean, the game is going to have to give us a plot progression item for this but I can tell it's going to be good.


We bask in the presence of Wobbuffet, the destroyer of worlds. His immense health combined with his counter-attacks can and will annihilate you.

If this were anybody other than Reggie, the primary debuffer of the crew, it would have gone down south fast. He also tries to screw you over with Destiny Bond, so if you're not careful you're going to be out one mon no matter how well you performed.

Reggie puts him in his place with relative ease, however. The elder is honestly one of the best opponents so far because he's not messing around and you shouldn't either.


How in the world did the Elder get Celebi? One of the rarest Pokemon behind Mew? Alright, that's it - the elder is one of the best trainers in the game.

This guy's pretty tough too, because even with a 4x weakness, he only took a tiny amount of damage from Leech Life.

Not that it stopped me. It's not even like a contest - Reggie ripped through both of them in no time flat. That's my killer Parasect.

"You have defeated even my Celebi, the Pokemon of Time. You are mighty indeed. Take this as your reward."

Yellow Vespa? What is that? Let me look it up.


"That was a gift to the Monastery from Gym Leader Haruko. She has a lot of them. Apparently, they can go very fast - fast enough to scale mudslides."

Ooooooh. Let's use it when we get out of the Tower!

Aw, here we go.


Yes, the Yellow Vespa is the replacement for the Mach Bike in this. It's also another direct reference to FLCL like Haruko if I'm not mistaken.

Before we go down the road to plot, however, let's make our way back to Mt. Chimney.

... What the hell is that yellow thing in the corner there?

Oh, it's a... merchant? I... Okay, let's buy a Chikuwa.

EDIT: It took me a while to notice, but this thing is actually Don Patch from Bobobobo. One of my friends brought it up to me and I was just like "no way."

... Oooh. That'll be very useful.

By the way, Chikuwa are a real thing. They're a Japanese tube food made out of fish surumi, salt and other such things. Since they replace the Lava Cookie from the original game, I'm buying a lot of them.

Yeah, you needed the Yellow Vespa otherwise or you couldn't get past the mudslide right there.

: "Dude, a ton of people I've passed through in just today alone have tried to fight me to 'regain their strength'. It doesn't go down well, man."

: "Yeah, I'm sorry but I'm not a good practice partner. I can refer you to a Poke Center just down the path here..."

If Famine, your master, runs away from me the way he does because he's not strong enough, then you don't even have a snowball's chance in hell.

I would jump in to help, but that can wait a bit. See you for part 3.

Team setup:

(Reggie, , Level 32, has Leftovers, /) - "They always underestimate the Poison Powder combo. For shame."
(Bellamine, , Level 35, ) - "Although I don't trust that Chloe girl, I'm impressed by how complex this is turning. Stay on your toes, everyone."
(Ambes, , Level 30, ) - "Jack teaching me Ice Punch was the best thing that ever happened to me."
(Zagon, , Level 31, has Plus Band, ) - "What the heck is going on?"
(Ace, , Level 36, has Anadrin Talon, /) - "I'm pumped. Let's get this party started!"
(Tohru, , Level 32, /) - "I'm not sure if I can follow these turn of events but as long as I have opponents to crush, you won't hear a complaint out of me."

Back-up Team:

(Benedict, level 18, /) - [is spinning on their own axis]
(Alice, , level 12, ) - "... So Gleis is a bad guy, meow? I'm not sure who to trust aside from Jack, really."
(Jeanne, , level 18, ) - "This is getting kind of scary, really. A master that's more powerful than the Four Horsemen? I don't think I really want to know."
(Krusha, , level 12, /) - [Is sitting alongside Cherry]
(Ballin, , level 14, /) - "Guys, is it just me or is this adventure getting a bit... ridiculous?"
(Pumbloom, , level 14, ) - [Is blushing heavily from the talk he had with Ambes]
(Cherry, , level 12, /) - "So, your name is Beatrice, is it?"
(Beatrice, , Level 26, /) - "Yes. It's a beautiful day, isn't it?~"
(Shine, , level 12, ) - "Did Ambes really just punch out an Onix?"
(Spark, , level 12, ) - "He is the coolest brother ever!"

Chapter 14 - The Horseman of War


No time to waste, let's jump straight into the action.


[He disappears]

Oh damn. Why didn't we think of that?

"Those chefs are tough, aren't they? But they're easy to kill without their Munchlax and Kirlia protecting them. Care to battle me and get your strength up?"

: "You're on."

Jemima, huh? Let's just see this "Zangol".


Zangol evolves from Zangoose at level 55, but don't let the obvious hacking distract you.

Zangol is one of the best Fakemon in this entire hack, bar none, thanks to an excellent Attack stat and a cool design. This Zangol in particular knows Mega Kick, which will probably leave everything in a crater stained with blood so bring your best.

: ("Bring it on.")


[Ace used Wing Attack!]

It's decided.

(By the way, this is why Ace was such a higher level than everybody else. He kept getting one-shotted by Mega Kick, and I could not accept it. So I kept at it until everything was just right.)

: ("Good game, Zangol.")

I am speechless at how cool this was.

"You're really strong. I don't think you even needed to fight me. Well, I'm off."

[Current audio in-game: Route 113]

I think out of every song in Gen 3, this is one of my favorites.

Let's see what this "Blighted Way" has in store for us. You would think the snow would fall here too, but nope.

... Uh-oh. That's not a good sign. Seriously, who is the sick skunt going around and decapitating everything?

Oh no, this one's alive!

(Well. As alive as a zombie can be, anyway.)


Remember what Letro said back in Chapter 13's team-setup? Difficulty spike ahead? Well, guess what?

This entire goddamn area is filled with Eye-Eyes. That, and they've gotten much deadlier than before because they have access to Ice Punch, Psychic, Sweet Kiss (confuses) and Lovely Kiss (puts you to sleep).

If you don't bring a good Fire type, this place is going to be Ninth Circle of Hell for you.

Even though Tohru is being a total beast right now, he can't last long in these conditions. Let's retreat for a bit.

Jeanne, you're up.

: ("Wow Jack, really? I'd be happy to go with you!")

[Commence giant grinding session that took me three hours]

Fire Pump is essentially Flamethrower under a different name (only has 8 PP unfortunately), and due to Ninetales being a Stone Evolution, she has to learn it as a Vulpix.

I don't care - now that she has this along with Sunny Day, she's going to be an utter nightmare.

You ready, Jeanne?

: ("Of course, Jack! Let's do it!")

Now let's break the ice.

: ("With pleasure.")

Oh no, whatever shall I do.

: ("I let you off with a light roasting.")

Oh Jeanne, you're a doll.

: ("You, on the other hand, might require a bit more than embers.")

Yeah, no kidding. This Eye-Eye is like the strongest of them all. I would have like quit the game if Jeanne wasn't able to beat it.

Eleven level difference? What's that? They're both level 41 to me.

: ("... My flames... are nothing compared to what awaits you in Inferno, monster... good riddance.")

Holy hell this was down to the wire.

Like just look at that. Everybody is getting their chance to shine in this episode and it's glorious.

I'm not so desensitized that I'd ignore a man in need.


This isn't even a warm-up.

: "Everybody gets one."

Now all Jack needs is a Spiderman mask.

Of course it is.

There was a Max Ether in the spot Jack is facing, but I didn't screencap it. Sorry.

"Halt, civilian! Fallarbor has been requisitioned by the Inquisition as our headquarters!"

That's a mouthful.

Yes, good. Less Hombone.

Oh psyduck. Zagon's down. I guess that's what I deserve for not bringing Tohru out.

But Jeanne decides to take the revenge shot anyway.

"Wait! You're that strong kid, aren't you? Damn, the Boss will kill me..."

Damn right. Now stop messing around and let me into Fallarbor already.

There's Inquisition everywhere.

And I do mean


But hey, this is the first real shop we've been to in a while so I can't really complain.

: "What's good, my man?"

They sell Super Repels and Revives. Hallelujah.

"Hello, Jack. Glad you could make it. The chefs and heads didn't make the journey too hard, I hope?"

: "No, it was okay. There were a couple of tough heads but otherwise it was fine."

Silly Jack, they were all tough. If Jeanne wasn't there, you literally could not have won.

Chloe: "Good. Well, I'll get out of your way. You can find me later at my house. And..."

: "Yeah?"

"She said she'd heard you'd be here. Her name was --"

: "Alicia?!"

That woman never leaves us alone, I swear.

Chloe: "Yeah, that's her! Well, see you around."

[Chloe leaves the Poke Center]

: "... If Alicia is here... that might not be a good thing. Oh screw it, I have time to kill."


This is really a mini-game where Jack can partake in a drinking contest between these Inquisition footmen. It's luck-based whether he wins or not, but the reward is sweet.

"Jack swallowed the Magmar Whiskey with aplomb, with nary a sign of drunkenness. What a drinker!"

"Jack felt a little woozy after what Magmar Whiskey... It's strong stuff."

The effects of the alcohol shows the more you go on. Like one of these guys can actually ralph their lunch all over the table.

"Jack drunkenly steals the wallets of the two Inquisition footmen!"

You know, for all of the muk Jack gets throughout this entire adventure, this is wonderful karmic payback.

[Jack falls asleep face-first from all of the alcohol he ingested - only to be brought back later by Bellamine]

: ("Jack, don't do that. You had us going.")

: "... Sorry about that. I just sort of need a break from all of this madness, you know?"

: ("I understand, but destroying your liver isn't the right way to do it.")

: "It was a one time thing - I'll never do it again. Let's just get out of here."

"No it isn't."

Footman #1: "Uh, yes it is."

This is the Move Tutor's house, by the way. He was apparently one of the people that were eaten by the zombies. God damn it.


[Jack ducks and covers]

"Is it checkmate now?"

Footman #1: "O-okay, that's not checkmate..."

I do find this bit funny, actually.

"The citizens of Fallarbor were all devoured some time ago. It's very sad, but it gave us this spot to move our main base to - the Island of Calm is too weird for us to stay there long. Otherwise we end up like -"

: "The Deadly More-than-Seven?"

Footman: "Yeah. [Shudders]"

So the Island of Calm is what drove the Deadly Seven insane? Watch this get contradicted spectacularly later on.

Let's go inside the (former) Contest Hall already.

"This area is about as secure as we can make it, but we're all still afraid we might face death at any moment. Literally."

... Literally?


: "Alicia! What are you doing here?"

: "I... rethought my allegiances. I've decided to abandon the Horsemen. I'm going to help you!"

: "That's great! So, can you please tell me exactly what is going on?"

: ("... Oh please. Don't tell me you're going to fall for th--")

: "What?!"

: "Hear me out. We were partners, both working for Lord Gravetric - the ruler of the Underworld. He was deposed by the Four Horsemen. We fought against them at the Lord's side, but in the end we couldn't win. They collapsed your house on us. I got out alive, but I thought you were dead. I had no choice but to work for the Horsemen."

... So Jack worked for the bad guy?

"So I lost my memory when the house collapsed on us..."

: "That must be what happened."

: "But why didn't Prof. Birch tell me any of this?"

: "He didn't want your family and friends to worry about you, or try to stop you in your work."

... So we worked for a dark overlord with the edgiest title and Birch didn't want to stop us from doing so. This smells like complete horse-dookey.

: "I see... It explains how everybody knew me. And where does Meteor fit in?"

: "You and he had a contract. The Dragons would fight alongside us against the Horsemen in return for you persuading Lord Gravetric to release his daughter from prison."

: "This is getting really weird. Meteor has a daughter in prison?"

: "Yes. She tried to break out of Underworld and into this world - something that only Deathcallers and the Lord are allowed to do."

I have a very sinking feeling this contradicts some established Pokemon lore. Even if it isn't, it feels so out of place and dumb considering the setting.

Future Dan: Dude, it's a story written by an edgy teenager. Be glad there's at least some connection period.

: "I see... so what do we do now?"

: "I think you know that the Four Horsemen are engaged in combat with Gleis and his forces in the east. Those forces are the zombie rebels that still serve Lord Gravetric. We have to stop the Four Horsemen here, so that no more of their lives are lost!"

My interest in this story is waning steadily.

I honestly might make a document keeping track of all of this nonsense just to have some hope of comprehending it.

: "The Horsemen are using Meteor Falls as their base of operations. We need to infiltrate it and take them down."

: "Okay!"

Jack, not even your optimism can save this. I'm sorry.

"When you are ready, come and find me. It'll just be like old times!"

[Alicia walks offscreen]

Well, that was a massive plot dump all over my face. Let's just get out of here.

Let's go visit the Fossil Maniac's house, actually.

"My brother, now dead, was once a Fossil Maniac. He dug out a maze of tunnels. Can YOU find your way through the catacombs to find the treasure I have hidden within? Fuahahaha!"

... A maze? Well, let's try it out.

You're essentially walking in the dark for this entire thing, and the worst part is that this place is frankly enormous. I swear to god I started to panic when I got a fair amount in because I was scared that I couldn't find the exit.

There is also no map for this, so good luck idiot!

The Fallarbor theme is the only thing that prevented me from losing my sanity if I have to be honest.

By some divine act, I managed to find to find the treasure in a short amount of time. It was not worth it.

Cutlerine was too much of a troll with this game, I swear.

Inquisition grinding is always good.

"This tree is made entirely from painted diamond. The Hombone won't be cutting this any time soon."

Oh, what a shame.

Free Riesen if you want one. Let's go drop by Chloe's house like we promised.

"Jack! Good to see you. Let me get straight to the point: I have a favor to ask you."

: "Yeah?"

Chloe: "The Four Horsemen. I know, are using Meteor Falls as their hideout. We are going to storm it."

: "Seriously?"

Chloe: "That's right. You and Alicia are going to go in first, since you're way stronger than any of us. Find your way straight to the Horsemen and take them down. The full force of the Inquisition will be behind you to protect you two from the zombies they'll summon. Just get to the Horsemen. If I can spare anyone, I'll send you back-up."

: "It won't be necessary. Alicia and I will handle this!"

He sure is faithful regarding Alicia. Never does it cross his mind that she might not be telling the truth.

: "Yeah?"

Chloe: "Don't listen to the Deadly Seven. They'll only drive you insane."

: "Oh. Er, okay."

That advice would have been a lot more useful a few chapters ago.

[Fade to black]

... Yeah, that's actually good advice. Don't do that.

: ("Yo, wassup.")

Also, say hello to a new badass. Valor will be part of the wrecking crew from now on.

"We all only use the Rock type, because it symbolizes a cold heart and ruthlessness, which we need to kill the zombified corpses of former friends and family."

... Wow.

That's a legitimately cool idea. I mean, it's a powerful meaning that could be better utilized in a story that's not batmuk insane.

[Discussion currently in progress.]

"Come on! We've got to stop the Four Horsemen, for our Lord and your revenge!"

Revenge? I thought I was here to kick ass without bias.

I love Meteor Falls, especially in the Hoenn remakes. I swear, if this hack didn't take place in Hoenn it would be nigh-unplayable for me. I'm just sayin'.

Oh no, it's the bruh zombies!

[We walk (not run) past with little effort]

Well, that was certainly intense.

"I'll see you on the lower floor. That's where the Horsemen will be."

[Alicia walks off]

Fun thing to note: There are no wild encounters in the area we are in right now for some reason.

Cool. This would be hella rad if we had like an Aggron or something but as far as things go, it's just less space in the TMs pocket.

Hey, why is Alicia beside Famine and Pestilence like that?

[Current audio in-game: Heavy Rainfall theme]

"Alicia, help me bring them down!"


: "Haha..."

: "Fufufu..."

: "Hahahahahaha!"

: "Fufufufufufufu!"

"... Oh! Wait. Oh no. Alicia?"

: "Watch who you call Alicia, brat."

: "Alicia?!"

: "I am no more Alicia than you. There never was any Alicia. I am War, one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse."

How shocking.

: "Yes! Everything was a lie. Everything I told you, from the moment we met in Oldale. We created the character of Alicia, lied about your past, in order to lure you here."

I'd say we've been duped this entire time, but that would require Alicia to be both: an actual character and not 100% evil.

: "But... but... why?"

: "The leader of the forces in the east wanted you. So we stopped him. We faked your death, but before we could recover your body, you woke up and went with the damnable Birch. So I disguised myself as a human. Slowly, I gained your trust, and now you are here. And now you cannot escape."

: "It's all been... a lie..."

: "Indeed it was. We even placed subconcious messages that told you Alicia could not be a Horseman. My little sister told you in Verdanturf that she was the sole female member of the Four Horsemen, for example. All lies."

Poor Jack, at the very least. Just because it's obvious to the audience doesn't mean it's obvious to him.

"Why does this dark lord of the east want me?"

: "We don't know. It is Meteor's duty to find out. His daughter was punished heavily for his straying to Dewford."

: "That bit is still true? Meteor's daughter has been locked up?"

: "Of course. How else would you control a dragon? They're far too temperamental and hot-blooded to be controlled without such brutish methods."

Wow, that's a side of Famine I didn't need to know about.

"So I'm a victim, Meteor's a victim. I guess there's only one person I can trust around here aside from my Pokemon. I don't need your help, Alicia - or War, whatever you call yourself."

[Theme changes over to the Psychic Encounter theme but I feel this scene would go better with the Live-A-Live Main Theme instead]

"I'll end this zombie war and find my brother! I'll free Meteor's daughter and restore Hoenn to all of its former glory!"

This man has a will of iron and the heart of a lion.

: "Quite a speech for a little kid like you -"

... I... thought he was older?

: "Whatever. The point is, you don't stand a chance. Meteor didn't. Chloe didn't. Nor your brother."

: "I do."

Oh, Jack being a badass here makes up for every awful moment we've had so far.

: "I'm being serious. With the help of my Pokemon, I've defeated foes Chloe couldn't. I'm stronger than her. I defeated your corrupted Aerodactyl, Famine, when my brother couldn't. I'm stronger than him. And I defeated Meteor. I'm also stronger than him. Do you understand? I'm the strongest in Hoenn. Chloe told me so, and I can see it's true."

: "Perhaps. But we are the strongest in the universe. If you think you can take us on, I shall be your first opponent! I won't hold back - I intend to kill you!"

Let's settle this once and for all.

[Theme I would choose for this encounter: Egg Gravity]

... Oh boy. Now that she's dropped the Alicia persona, Horseman War is probably the most dangerous opponent so far and appropriately so. I love this final encounter - like top ten best legitimate fights in the entire game.

Even though it's honestly not that big of a surprise, the way it was handled makes this final fight with War all the sweeter when you actually kick her ass.

If you can, level grind a bit before coming to Meteor Falls because Alicia/War is rocking some really high level Pokemon and all of them, even the weakest one, are lethal.

Her first mon is this Sableye. She'll try to fake you out with Protect and critical you with a Shadow Swipe (which is Ghost type, so watch out). Despite the threat, though, Sunny Day-boosted Jeanne managed to burn it into a pile of ash.

... Gigawolf sounds pretty badass. I wonder what it is?

It's Zoroark! Watch out for this bastard!

Gigawolf is probably the biggest threat up War's sleeve. She's fast, strong and comes with Earthquake. In Snakewood, Gigawolf is the final evolution of Mightyena at Max Happiness - so that gives me some horrifying ideas as to how this thing came to like Alicia so much.

(In hindsight, I should have really gotten one for myself.)

Even Tohru, our premier fighting type, nearly died from her. Don't underestimate Gigawolf!

Banette was a cakewalk, but that's only because Ace and Bellamine were here.

Oh dear god.

Another demon ready to rip us in two. If this were Gen 6, I don't think we could handle fighting a Mega Gengar. Thank the ever loving lord that Reggie paralyzed her, otherwise we would have gotten into a giant Hypnosis trap.

Super tank Dusclops is now a reality. Thank god for debuffs.

: ("... Perfect.")

Confuse Ray + Sunny Day-boosted Flamethrower + Burn = Complete Annihilation

Sneasel can evolve into Weavile in this hack, which is pretty cool. That said, though, Weavile is just as blistering in here as it is in the normal games. Watch your guard.

Even with a 4x weakness, she still chopped a large amount of Tohru's health out. But that doesn't matter because we've kicked Alicia's ass once and for all!

[Fade to black, followed by Rock Smash SFX]


What is that overworld sprite

: "What? We're expanding! It is natural, dear Death. We need to -"


() ["Death" releases an opaque red beam that obliterates the Horsemen]

: "No!"

: "No!"

: "No!"

[Fade to black followed by the other three Horsemen disappearing]

Oh my god his sprite is literally a skull on a black traffic cone.


: "Ah! Wait... Um... Bye!"

[Jack runs off to the side and jumps into the pool of water]

... did we just

... HOW?!


["Death" glances over at Jack jumping into the water. He lets out a small chuckle as his body morphs into that of a black and red bird.]

: ("Finally! Got them all in one shot.")

: ("Horsemen of the Apocalypse? What a joke... just some humans intruding on the realm of legendaries and mocking our work with these stupid zombies - using my powers to boot! They'll all pay for this.")

: ("That said, I hope Mani is right about this human called Jack. We're short on time as it is before... HE reawakens. Worst case scenario, zombies will be the least of Hoenn's problems...")

2023 Dan Context: I hate the Four Horseman thing in Snakewood, it just doesn't make sense no matter how you cut it.

My explanation is that the villain of Snakewood gave some random idiots superpowers based on certain Pokemon and Yveltal here has been going after them, since they pretty much spit on his face as the real god of death (destruction?) in Pokemon.

Death in the actual Snakewood hack never comes back after this scene, by the way. You really do like, outrun him by jumping into a pool of water nearby. Guess he doesn't like getting wet or something.

See you guys then.

Team setup:

(Reggie, , Level 33, has Leftovers, /) - [Is currently unconscious]
(Bellamine, , Level 36, ) - "... Did we just outrun Death?"
(Jeanne, , Level 36, ) - "This is getting a bit too silly for my tastes."
(Zagon, , Level 33, has Plus Band, ) - [Is scratching her head, very lost as to what just happened]
(Ace, , Level 37, has Anadrin Talon, /) - "I guess we just defied Death. I'd take any explanation to make this cooler, to be frank."
(Tohru, , Level 36, /) - "... I don't even care anymore."

Back-up Team:

(Benedict, level 18, /) - [Squints in an egg-like fashion]
(Alice, , level 12, ) - "... I am soooo confused, nya. I just hope Jack doesn't get hurt!"
(Krusha, , level 12, /) - [Is slack-jawed at what just happened]
(Ballin, , level 14, /) - "Yep, we've officially reached dumb."
(Pumbloom, , level 14, ) - [Is hoping for Jack to come back to the Poke Center safely]
(Cherry, , level 12, /) - "... You're not so bad."
(Beatrice, , Level 26, /) - "You're quite the charmer yourself, Cherry~"
(Ambes, , Level 30, ) - "What the heck just happened?!"
(Shine, , level 12, ) - "No idea."
(Spark, , level 12, ) - "It was cool though."

Portrait Credits:

PMD Sprite Repository site: https://sprites.pmdcollab.org/

- Reggie (Paras & Parasect – Non-standard sprites are made by jackolanternjackalope. Parasect doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Bellamine (Kirlia & Gardevoir – Non-standard sprites are made by JFain and Ichor)

- Alice (Skitty & Delcatty – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron)

- Ace (Taillow & Swellow – Non-standard sprites are made by FunnyKecleonMeme and Caitemis)

- Tohru (Makuhita & Hariyama – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron. Hariyama doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Jeanne (Vulpix & Ninetales – Non-standard sprites are made by Meganai & baronessfaron)

- Ambes's portraits are all default ones

- Zagon (Zigzagoon & Linoone – Non-standard sprites are made by DasK. Linoone doesn’t have any new faces.)

- Benedict (Is an egg sprite made from scratch – made by Emboarger and ShyQuietRain)

- Shine & Spark (Pichu – Non-standard sprites are by C_Pariah)

- Cherry (Oddish & Bellossom – Non-standard sprites are by gromchurch, felis_licht and ShyQuietRain)

- Letro (Magnemite family – Non-standard sprites are Fearless-Quit, Emboarger and SirViolet. Magnezone doesn’t have any variants.)

- Valor (Zangoose – Non-standard sprites are made by Emmuffin)


- Meteor (Shiny version of Charizard – made by Adrian, SuperFabbioGuy and Murpi)

- ??? (Yveltal – Non-standard sprites made by Emboarger)

Check out some of my screenshot LPs!:

Pokemon Snakewood Remaster (Complete) || Pokemon Dark Rising Remaster (On-going)

Rainbow Chara X

Impossible to gauge!

Age 27
Shiny Hunting in Sinnoh
Seen 3 Days Ago
Posted 4 Weeks Ago
120 posts
7.9 Years

One is an actual continuation of the story and the other is a non-canon episode that I originally made as a Halloween special back where this let's play was originally put up. I guess the next time Halloween rolls around it'll be relevant again, but whatever.

Chapter ?? - Season of the Jack


... Yes, I'd like to order some pizza.

Oh wait, this isn't a pizza line.

"I haven't heard from you in ages! Oh! You're tying the knot? Congratulations, man!"

Apparently we were just called by our best buddy and he's getting married. Cool, cool.

[Definitely not Professor Oak sends out a Nidoran for some reason]

"I'll tell my brother. We're coming for sure. No, don't worry about that, we've got that covered... We'll leave first thing in the morning."

We're going to go see our friend off? Sure, why not. I get dibs on the first slice of the cake!

Decision time? Decision time.

I like the sprite, even if it's a bit silly looking.

And yes, the name is based off of another wolfman from a game I like.

Now we just need some Super Bone Brothers and the experience would be complete.


... You don't have to yell, jeez. I'm going already.

[Current audio in-game: Bloody Tears]

The song is a bit loud in the game, but I like it because it's Bloody Tears. Anyway, this is our new house? Pretty nice, all things considered.

I'm a wolf-man because it's Halloween, I suppose.

... Although my transformation is not exactly complete.

Now I can't help but imagine a cheesy/adorable Halloween-themed special involving a Pikachu. I don't know why.

: "Hey, thanks for coming. I sent your brother to go get me a drink, but he hasn't come back yet. I'm feeling quite thirsty, could you please run to the store for me in his place?"

: "Sure. -- I wonder what happened to Renji? --"

The game will refer you as Oz regardless of what you put in, so let's just call him Fenrich instead.

[Dirk disappears]

[Current audio in-game: ???]

I swear I remember this song from somewhere, but for now I don't know where it's from. With that said, we've moved into a rural little town by the name of Batmen. Where it rains all of the time.

Sadly, there is no Batman unless you count Dirk as a bat-man.

"Ew... Why do you run around as a wolfman? Don't you have, like, a human form?"

Isn't the point of Halloween that I'm wearing a costume? Silly girl.

"Hey... do you want a Blood Beer? I found one under this bush."

: "Ew... No. What are you doing crawling around like that, anyway?"

Guy & Fenrich: "....."

Guy: "Do you want a Blood Beer? They're awesome, man."

: "... Later."

Blood Beer sounds pretty nasty, honestly. Stick to the local brew.

This rock does not do anything, unfortunately. Then again, what was I expecting? It's a rock.

We promised Dirk we'd get a drink, so let's go into the bar.

[Current audio in-game: ???]


The song in here is really loud even at 50% volume! I'm sorry but you could have toned the volume down a bit on this one, jeez!

Also, oh no there are dead old men.

Let's ignore the corpses and get ourselves a drink.

: "... Uh, thank you?"

Alright, cool. Now that we have the Blood Beer(:tm:), let's go back outside.

"You need to go away. Seriously, don't go in there, son. My god, I don't even understand why the hell there's a graveyard around here. Aren't you guys, like, all immortal? Who is buried here!?"

The guard asks all of the right questions.

... Admittedly, Oz/Fenrich is right. Graveyards are giant spooky tourist attractions, especially around Halloween.

Guard: "Yeah, probably. Anyway, I'm going to go now. Y'all be a good little wolf and don't go in there, promise? Toodles!"

: "--My god...--"

Well, he turned into a giant fruitcake midsentence. Despite this, he doesn't move.

Surely, there's something cool in here?

[Current audio in-game: Battle of the Holy]

This song isn't as loud and I like it the most out of all of the custom songs here, even if I still don't know what it is. There's another dead old man and a fellow who looks like he jumped out of Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald. Let's talk to him.

Future Dan: (Also, it really did take me 8 years just to find the track this shop has. )

"Hello there! Something bothering you, son? A guy that looks like you who's taller than you and more muscular? Yeah, a guy like that was just here. He left and headed in the direction of the forest. Probably went to go chase some squirrels."

Thank you kindly, random NPC.

But first, let's go up here to see... Dirk? What's he doing up here?

... Oh? But I didn't even know we had a Pokemon? Thanks anyway.

[Current audio in-game: River City Ransom - A Tough Fight]

... Interesting choice of music. I like the song in here too, but I wish the volume wasn't so high on it.

I'll spoil you - there doesn't seem to be anything in the forest here, but I can show off wild encounters.

Killerjack appeared!

You can't have a good Halloween special without evil pumpkins.

... We sent ourselves out. And we have a LOL for a back sprite. What a silly-ass game.

We beat the Killerjack by biting it, which must have tasted good.

We are also apparently a Dark/Ice Bulbasaur?

Okay, cool, whatever, I'm just rolling with it.

However, now that the guard is out of the way, let's go to the Graveyard. Post haste, I don't want to miss the skeleton dance.

It has the same music as the forest, strangely enough.

And hey, Dirk is here!

"You mind telling me what's going on in this crazy town? Renji just disappeared or something... And seriously, why does all of the grass look the same?!"

: "Calm down... I can explain. I'm not really getting married... I wanted you guys to come here because there have been a crapload of hunters and drug dealers around here lately."

Oz/Fenrich has the perfect reaction to this. But I think what bothers me the most is that there's no cake.

: "Yeah, long story short: the people who keep moving into this town scare the bat crap out of me."

Aaaaand he just disappears. Typical.

Let's go climb over this hedge. (activates walk-thru-walls cheat)

... Huh? There's actually an area over here. For what was supposed to be an inaccessible place, it's surprisingly detailed.

Jumping off of these ledges with Walk Through Walls on counts as jumping off of normal ledges. Strange.

Oh look, there's a guy here. He actually says something, too.

: "Huh? I won't eat you."

Strange Boy: "... Don't mess with us..."

: "... You're crazy."

My boy tells it like it is.

Strange Boy: "You are the one ravaged by madness, demon! Your blood I will spill! It will be the delicious marmalade on the victory bread of humans!"

This guy just went full Fawful on us.

: "RAWR!"

[His sprite disappears]

Self-fulfilling prophecies sure are a rattata, aren't they?

Still, we just straight up ate a dude. I don't know how to feel about this?

Back in town, we... find ourselves long with Dirk? I swear there's some surrealist metaphor attached to this.

Anyway, our clone doesn't do anything special. But Dirk will be happy to hand us a Blood Beer, which makes me question why I had to get him one in the first place.

Next place of interest is this lone grave. Doesn't look so special, you might ask? Well, just take a look.

[Falling SFX that is drowned out by the music]


... Oh. We just fell down a grave Zelda-style. I'm surprised this was here, actually.

I mean, it looks the same as any of the other graves and it was in a closed off area, so you got me. This place also shares the Bloody Tears theme, but...

[Current OST: Illusionary World]

There's nothing else in this cave, by the way. Just go down the stairs.

[A ghostly voice echoes throughout the cave]

: ("... Wake up... Please wake up...")

: "What in the world was that? ... I need to get out of here."

After two floors, we come to what I assume is the final floor. Now, watch out because there's actually wild encounters down here.

Such as this cute little bat and the honestly kinda freaky looking zombie Rattata thing.

They'll wreck you if you don't properly train up Oz the Pokemon, but they shouldn't be that hard to get rid of.

: "Huh? Who are you? And didn't you know there's an exit?"

: "...."

: "It's okay. Hey, you didn't happent to see a guy that kind of looks kinda like me, did you?"

: "No. Sorry... But I have a feeling you won't find him for a while..."

: "Huh?"

: "It's the end of the Demo!"

What is this "demo" you speak of?

: ("... Jack... Jack...")

: "Huh? What-- WHOA!"

[Wild battle starts]


Wait. That Gardevoir looks very familiar... It can't be!

[Flash of light, followed by a hard thud noise]

: "Ooogh... What happened? Where was I?"

... Great question, Jack.

: ("You passed out, Jack. All of the alcohol you drank combined with the fight against the Horsemen made you go out like a light.")

: "... I fell asleep? Well, that explains everything."

: ("You gave everybody a tremendous scare. Thankfully you're alright, but please be more careful if you decide to drink.")

: "Yeah, sorry about that... I guess it might not be a good thing to note that there were things like Blood Beer in my dream."

: ("What was the dream about, anyway? I came in at about the end.")

: "Well, I was a werewolf called Fenrich. Then there were dead old men... along with Dirk the vampire man. And then some chick at the bottom of a grave told me "the demo is over". That and there were pumpkins called Killerjacks. It was weird."

: ("... Admittedly, it does sound fun.")

: "Yeah, it kind of was."

: "Unfortunately, we're back in reality."

: ("... Yes. Let's go, Jack.")

With that said, that ends off the Halloween episode of Pokemon Snakewood.

I'm not going to throw up the team setup as this was a non-canon episode, but I should credit the people who made the rom hack for today's episode: They go by Neko Jams, and they made this short little Fire Red romhack for Halloween 2013.

It has no name, but I figured it would be a fair amount of fun to go through for a "something completely different" joke episode.

That, and you have no idea how confused I was getting the codes for Bellamine to appear in the Halloween rom hack. Like sometimes I got an invalid code and it didn't work? I dunno.

Chapter 15 - Psychic Dragon Egg?


Sigh. Last time on Pokemon Snakewood, we escaped the Grim Reaper - master of the forces of life and death - just by jumping into a conveniently placed submarine.

That was the first and last time we ever are going to see Death in Snakewood. He makes this giant speech about how he has a mission to destroy us due to being associated with the Horsemen's plans yet he never pops up again, not even as a passing remark.

This game, I swear. At least it's playing the Abandoned Ship theme again, so that's good.

... Wait a sec. The submarine belonged to Usher too? What a wonderfully contrived reunion.

: "Er, hi Usher. Is there a prison in east Hoenn?"

Usher: "There is. There's the Maximum Security Vault, which used to be the Weather Institute until the Four Horsemen took it over."

So they changed the Weather Institute into a prison. I... what?

Usher: "I was stuck on the rocks for a long time. I've gathered a good current knowledge of Hoenn."

... Uh, how? You've been stuck on a busted submarine with no way of knowing what's happening above the water for how long? I find this to be just a tad implausible.

: "... Riiiight. Can you drop me off at the prison?"

Usher: "Of course! But I'll have to ask another favor of you. Please go down to the lower floors and fix the service elevators. I can't get anywhere without them."

I'm pretty sure the only person that even lives in the submarine aside from Usher is the Inquisition guy that's trying to hide here... so of course we have to play the role of mechanic.

"It might work if the power was reactivated."

Oh right, this is what we needed Letro for. Be right back.

But hey, we're not going anywhere any time soon so let's take a quick nap. I mean, this place is probably the safest shelter in the entire Hoenn region at this point.

"This Pokeball dispenser might be coaxed into cooperation with a whack from the Arclight Spanner. Whack it?"

Now I have this ridiculous image in my head of Jack being a mafia legbreaker that busts up vending machines. But hey, it gives us free Pokeballs. Always useful.

Goddamn Letro, you're behind.


: "That's true. Ambes sort of stole the role as our premier Electric type for a while... but hey, you'll get your time to shine soon."


"The electricity coursed through the old elevator, returning it to full power!"

Alright, something goes our way for once. This mini-event is pretty cool, given how Cutlerine prepares you for it by swarming you with Magnemite beforehand.

s.s crab, first class

Oh right, this place is rundown trash.

Oooooh! We just got lucky. After finding this, Jack is now able to use all of the computers that previously required a log-in in the submarine.

I do like events like this, it helps give a reason to explore.

What does this one say?

"//Logged in as: U.HOUSE
///// Accessing Submarine data ////

Status: Critical failure
Personnel: Neutralized
Oxygen: Two days remaining
Cargo: 100%
R.H.I.N.O: 230% capacity
Cake stocks: Low"

Personnel neutralized? Well that explains where everybody went. I have no idea what R.H.I.N.O stands for and Cake stocks is just Cutlerine being an idiot, but it also means these people ate cake to survive on this submarine.

Oxygen level is kind of unsettling because what if Jack didn't "coincidentally" drop in to help Usher? Bastard would have died grasping for a last breath before dropping like a lead weight. Pretty terrifying, to be frank.

This is also what all of the computers say except for the one that gives you the login configuration.

Ooh boy.

This is technically the second apocalyptic log Jack has come across (*cough*chapter3*cough*), only this one was written down digitally.

... Man, looking back at the earlier parts of this let's play, I sort of yearn for the time when this game was mediocre but promising.

"Day 1: Everything is going very well. I have to say, I never thought a wind-powered submarine would work, but I'm favorably impressed. R.H.I.N.O seems of excellent quality, too."

"Day 15: I can't quite escape the feeling that the submarine is a bit confining. Still, I supposed that's to be expected on a little research submarine. I think I'll go and stretch my legs now."

"Day 22: I think someone in the submarine has turned against me. I found my equipment smashed to pieces this morning, and several other scientists have found the same. Something's not right here..."

"Day 37: I don't know what's going on anymore. Jeff didn't survive the night, and I don't think Percival can last much longer either. When will the games stop?"

"Day 56: R.H.I.N.O a331 hv03 KO Usher ple hv06 67.111 aa dying qwerqwijdpasjdpdfajspasfplaskm - TARGET ELIMINATED"

Christ almighty. Just what the hell happened on this submarine before we got here? The fact this never gets answered no matter how far we progress in the game makes this all the more horrifying.

Enough messing around with computers and people's dying requests. Let's just keep going.

It may seem odd, but Ditto is required for another event - hence why the game suddenly throws you a ton of them now.

Obligatory Skullgirls reference.

That teleporter is what we need a Ditto for, hence the reason for Double's existence. (along with being the go-to banger if we ever need breeding for some reason)

Awesome. Let's use the teleporter, then.

Uh, where did we just wind up?

... I am not even going to question this for the sake of whatever sanity I have left.

"Thank you! The elevator seems to be running now. If we ever meet again, I doubt I will be in my office now that I can move around in the Submarine. Here, let me drop you off in Fortree."

: "Thanks. See you around, Usher. "

[Teleporting SFX followed by fade to black]

Usher is now behind the Sages as the coolest people left in Hoenn that aren't Jack.

Valor, you're up. You stay behind, Zagon. You've earned a rest.

: ("Oh wow. Thank you, Jack. I was kind of losing it back there... Hey, Valor? Take my Plus Band, please. Be careful out there.")

: ("Don't you worry, babe. I won't even get a scratch.")

With that out of the way, let's get moving.

To compensate for not having Zagon, Tohru takes up swimming lessons.

And now Valor can spontaneously turn into a piece of iron to crush people. Metal.

We got dropped off at Fortree but there's no way in from this side. Sigh.

I guess we just have to go around the long way.

Oh hey, a zombie. A refreshing sight compared to what we've seen in the past few updates. Let's go up to her and say hello.

... Wait, what?

The zombies have gotten an upgrade, it seems. No more wimpy zombie boys and ghost girls, we're getting hardcore up in this son of a rattata.

She has this dude that can Thor's Hammer your face in.

Thankfully, Jeanne was blessed by the Random Number Goddess to end the fight quickly.


... Oh. Never mind. It's just a badly recolored palatte swap of Scyther.

Just have Ace hit it with some Wing Attacks, it should go down without a fight.

Well, it is three levels higher and Ace has no real stand-out offense beyond his usual set.

: "Er, okay. You Battle Zombies are obviously a little tougher than the usual kind."

This got more complicated and ridiculous at the same time. My primary question is what even happened that made the zombies stronger?

Yeah, this is going to be a stupid fight isn't it.

Good lord, he's ripped for a dead guy. What kind of super steroids did they inject into this dude to make him so big?

I would play the RUDE CRUDE DUDES alarm here as we have no appropriate counter for Azombarill and there's no real grinding area around here...

But Bellamine has this covered.

Also, the zombie trainers feed their Pokemon rotting livers which is all kinds of barf-o-rama.

Thankfully, this dude never attacked. He just kept using Defense Curl to power up Rollout or something. Bellamine blew his head up with Psychic, therefore putting him out of his misery.

: ("Rest in peace. I hope you don't hate me for this.")


You are the best, dude.

Now when Benedict evolves, we can use this to turn them into something super cool.

Bring it on, you cock!

[Theme I would use for Miasmar and the Battle Zombies in general: Bellyache Battle]

Alright, a recolor that's actually pretty damn cool for once. The fire on its hand is a nice touch.

Miasmar here is dangerous, as he can negate the rain with Sunny Day and roast anybody that gets in his way with Fire Pump (Flamethrower). Just one use ripped Tohru down to 49 HP.

: ("I'm surprised you even stood up to one blow before. You zombies are pests.")

Thankfully, Tohru is good at putting these guys six feet under.

... I know in Chapter 3.5 that I said the zombies were becoming more intelligent, but for psyduck's sake I WAS KIDDING


Oh, please don't be something gross...

Oh hey! It left Flash... which would sort of explain why the screen is so super-saturated.

Believe it or not, Flash got a buff in Snakewood. It's now an Electric move that does 40 damage, but the accuracy is so pitiful (75%) that you may as well not even bother.

Anyway, now that we're inside of the former Weather Institute, let's talk to that fellow that's not a steroid-ridden corpse.

"Help me! This used to be my Weather Institute. But these monsters took it over to hold some hostage here. If you've come this far into East Hoenn, you must be strong. That is why I ask you: please get rid of these monsters for me!"

: "I'm amazed you even lived this long. People like you usually get chomped, so that's a pleasant surprise. I'll drive out the undead for you, man."

Oh gee, I guess I'd better listen and back off th-- NO!

That's what I have to say to your awful Gandalf impression.

More like "Jack gets Bellamine to catch the blade and telekinetically stabs the Battle Zombie in the head with it."

Because trust me, that would be a much better way to deal with this.

There's a bed in the corner - if you have a death wish, you can take a power nap while the extra dangerous zombies swarm around the area.

Wait a goddamn second. This dude's bastard levels are rocketing up the charts. Just what does he have that's such a threat?

[Theme I would use for Gorelax: Cannibal Boss]

Gorelax not only looks pretty gruesome with a Former Chef exploding out of him Chestburster-style, but he's one of the most pain-in-the-ass zombie Pokemon to deal with.

Body Slam is so powerful that even Tohru aches from it, despite having the bulkiest health bar out of the entire team. Gorelax can even use Rest to completely restore his health (somehow?), so don't be surprised if you're doing well and suddenly he goes back up to green.

Be prepared if you're going up against this one zombie, because you'll regret it otherwise.

Tohru puts Gorelax out of his misery by busting the Chef's head into red paste.

Moving on, we have another person who thinks they're a hot shot by stopping Jack in his tracks.

Valor shows them a thing or two.


Remember when this was at least trying to build atmosphere? Oh right, I can't remember either.

Ambes was here for some reason. He kicked ass. That's all that matters.


Ace has a signature move based off of his own name now. I couldn't ask for anything more.

Oh hey, Gleis is here... oh no Gleis is here.

: "You can't fool me, Gleis. You're not on my side at all, are you?

: "That's inconvenient. You know far too much. I shall have to defeat you and bring you to my master."

: "Forget it! I came here for one reason and one reason only: to free Meteor's daughter. If you choose to get in my way, it'll be you who goes down!"

Jack sure is focusing too much on these objectives that random people give him. Then again, what else does he have to cling to in this awful story?

"You've never actually seen Meteor's daughter, have you?"

: "What?"

: "Fufu... You'll see. Now, let's see if you match your words with power!"

[Theme I will use for Gleis: Dark Boy]

Gleis was a bad guy all along. Well, what did you expect with a guy that constantly speaks in red text? He sure had me fooled for a bit though, cause he really did seem like a cool dude helping Jack and all.

Haunter is no real threat.

: ("Aaah! Too close!")

... I say as Bellamine nearly dies from getting criticalled. A minor setback.


Yep, this is what Qwilfish evolves into in Snakewood, ladies and gentlemen.

This is a massive improvement to Qwilfish in the normal games, as Qwilshark is a beast. It has monster Attack and Speed, along with some nasty attacks like Poison Slash and so on. This is ultimately what Ballin evolves into, but hasn't been able to get that far thanks to the focus being shifted around on everybody else.

Future Dan: It is shocking how many Pokemon Cutlerine predicted back in 2010. (Re: Overqwil)

Bellamine swats him out of existence with a Psychic, though. I don't think the critical was necessary, but it's karmic payback for the critical she just got.

History repeats with these two, of course.

: ("Oh no, not one of you! It's on now!")


Seviper got a bit of a boost in Snakewood. It is now /, so Bellamine would have been completely useless against this dude even if she gained a Fairy typing. Worst of all, Seviper gets an evolution in this hack that makes it even more dangerous.

For now, though?

[Valor used Slash!]

: ("Try someone your own size, buddy.")

Alakazam is pretty hard, but with proper planning and a good Dark type you should be able to beat him.

I have neither, so Valor just rips his face off.

Oh, and I refused to teach him Taunt because at the time there was no real way I could have been able to use it properly. A fatal mistake, as you're going to witness in Chapter 19.

Hey ****-face, your Pokemon were the ones that did all of the fighting. You didn't do... Jack.

[Gets chased out of the room with rotten tomatoes]

"I suppose you'll want some information? Some truth? Well, there's none to be found here. Though, if you wish, you can take Meteor's daughter."

Oh snap, just like that?

[Gleis disappears]

"Why did they need to take over this building just to house this egg? And why was Gleis here? He doesn't work with the Horsemen..."

All brilliant questions.

???: "I'm NOT just an egg."

: "What was that?!"

: "This egg can talk?"

: "The Four Horsemen imprisoned me in here because even now, unborn, I'm a powerful psychic. I could have called for help from anywhere but here the thunderstorm interferes with my abilities."

: "O-Okay... So what's your name?"

: "What's a name?"

: "Oh. Never mind then. Anyway, I'm going to take you back to Meteor. The Four Horsemen are gone now, and if I bring you back to him, I think he just might stop his destructive rampage."

This makes no sense because she had no problem saying the Four Horsemen and is fully conscious of her abilities as a psychic, yet doesn't even know what a name is and when Jack talks it confuses her. It's also unclear whether she was just a baby that was sealed into an egg or she was just not born yet.

Quality writing at its finest.

: "Talk about ungrateful."

This man speaks all the sense.

Speaking of which...

I'm taking a rest for real now. No power naps, an honest-to-goodness rest because it was like 4 in the morning when I finished this. See you later on the next episode.

Team setup:

(Reggie, , Level 33, has Leftovers, /) - "So she's an unborn dragon with super psychic powers? Whatever, mon."
(Bellamine, , Level 37, ) - "Can I take care of Meteor's daughter?"
(Jeanne, , Level 36, ) - "Next time I see that Gleis, consider him deep fried."
(Valor, , Level 37, has Plus Band, ) - "Hey, Ace. I'm feeling pretty pumped - you wanna spar a bit?"
(Ace, , Level 38, has Anadrin Talon, /) - "Maybe at a later time, mate. I gotta get this tech down right." [He says as he slices up some zombies outside with Aerial Ace]
(Tohru, , Level 37, /) - "An egg, eh? Protect her at all costs, then."

Back-up Team:

(Benedict, level 18, /) - [edges up to Meteor's Daughter while bouncing]
(Zagon, , Level 33, ) - [Takes a well-deserved rest next to Jack]
(Alice, , level 12, ) - "The egg is pretty cute, nya. I can't wait to see what she looks like!"
(Krusha, , level 12, /) - "Man, Jack hasn't looked at us once since he first caught us. You don't think..."
(Ballin, , level 14, /) - [Tags Pumbloom, accidentally sticking to him with one of his body spikes]
(Pumbloom, , level 14, ) - "... Can someone hand us an antidote?"
(Cherry, , level 12, /) - [Is sleeping on top of Krusha's head]
(Beatrice, , Level 26, /) - [Goes out into the rain and starts singing]
(Ambes, , Level 30, ) - "Awwww. I hope we can get her back to her father soon. I mean, I sort of want to apologize for whacking his jester in the face."
(Shine, , level 12, ) - "Don't touch her, Spark! She's a very important egg!"
(Spark, , level 12, ) - "What? Sis, I handle Benedict all of the time and I never break them."
(Helmaroc, , Level 40, /) - [Finally awakens from hibernation as lightning strikes outside]

Portrait Credits:

PMD Sprite Repository site: https://sprites.pmdcollab.org/

- Reggie (Paras & Parasect – Non-standard sprites are made by jackolanternjackalope. Parasect doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Bellamine (Kirlia & Gardevoir – Non-standard sprites are made by JFain and Ichor)

- Alice (Skitty & Delcatty – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron)

- Ace (Taillow & Swellow – Non-standard sprites are made by FunnyKecleonMeme and Caitemis)

- Tohru (Makuhita & Hariyama – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron. Hariyama doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Jeanne (Vulpix & Ninetales – Non-standard sprites are made by Meganai & baronessfaron)

- Ambes's portraits are all default ones

- Zagon (Zigzagoon & Linoone – Non-standard sprites are made by DasK. Linoone doesn’t have any new faces.)

- Benedict (Is an egg sprite made from scratch – made by Emboarger and ShyQuietRain)

- Shine & Spark (Pichu – Non-standard sprites are by C_Pariah)

- Cherry (Oddish & Bellossom – Non-standard sprites are by gromchurch, felis_licht and ShyQuietRain)

- Letro (Magnemite family – Non-standard sprites are Fearless-Quit, Emboarger and SirViolet. Magnezone doesn’t have any variants.)

- Valor (Zangoose – Non-standard sprites are made by Emmuffin)

- Helmaroc/Wagner (Aerodactyl – Non-standard sprites are made by Caitemis)


- Meteor (Shiny version of Charizard – made by Adrian, SuperFabbioGuy and Murpi)

- ??? (Yveltal – Non-standard sprites made by Emboarger)

Check out some of my screenshot LPs!:

Pokemon Snakewood Remaster (Complete) || Pokemon Dark Rising Remaster (On-going)

Rainbow Chara X

Impossible to gauge!

Age 27
Shiny Hunting in Sinnoh
Seen 3 Days Ago
Posted 4 Weeks Ago
120 posts
7.9 Years

I have a love it or hate it relationship with Snakewood if I'm going to be real with you. Sometimes I really like the edits and the humor that Cutlerine puts in, but other times it's a pain in my ass. It strikes a very strange balance between good and annoying that I can't really pin down.

Chapter 16 - Nonstop Battle Drama


Last time on Snakewood, we just took down the Weather Institute and obtained a magic psychic dragon egg. Sounds like an average day to me.

Speaking of magic eggs, Reggie was given the bench for Benedict to get a spot in the limelight again. The Brain Link helps tremendously for what I'm doing, so I'm glad I went to get it back in Famine's Desert.

Hello, experience fodder.

Oh hey, a new zombie Pokemon. Not that it means much, considering his weakness to Flying and Psychic make him a giant sitting duck.

Upon defeating Poliwraith, Benedict gained the ability to use Egg Bomb... which essentially means they're an egg shooting other eggs that explode on contact.

Benedict's very existence is like some strange eldritch abomination that came out of like the Twilight Zone or something, I swear. I was going to yell "wow what the hell" but I felt it wouldn't have been enough to describe just how mind-boggling this is.

Oh wow, a Hyper Potion! I only have like 40 in my bag already.

: "Right. Jeanne, if you please?"

: ("Of course, Jack.")

[Jeanne burns the Battle Zombie to ashes]

Oh crap, I forgot we're surrounded by tall gra--

: [Runs out screaming while covered in flames - his Pokemon try to put him out]

Huh? What's attacking me here?


The item that they're guarding is an Elixir, by the way. So there's that at least.

: "I'm well aware of this."

... What is going on with these names

He has a Breloom, though. Breloom is a pretty cool Pokemon all things considered. Fun fact, I was originally going to get a Shroomish for the team back in chapter 2 but how my saves worked made it so the Shroomish I caught never exist.

It kept happening because I kept forgetting to save after I caught said Shroomish, so after a while I just gave up.

... Had a Breloom. God damn, Ace.

Of course we are. We're the protagonist in a Pokemon game! Nothing usually happens unless the hack creator really wants you dead for some reason.

"Wait! Aren't you that strong kid who beat Tina and Bruce? You must be powerful!"

: "I don't like to brag, but yeah that's the gist of it."

Hold on a sec. What if you never fought the Reporter duo in Famine's Desert? Would this soldier's line change if you didn't fight them?

I am a man of my word in that I will complete this game. But UUUUUUUGH

: "Oh god... you guys again!?"

(Rolv): "Let's rumble!"

Were you not satisfied, Cutlerine?!

Oh jeez, they're actually getting a bit harder. If Jeanne wasn't here, this Metang would have been a threat.

Typical Deadly Seven dialogue. I'm not even like phased by it this point, I'm more like "can we get this stupid muk over with already?"

"Who can you trust? Who can you believe in? When all else fails, where can you take refuge? Do you see now? This plot... This fear you feel... This is the power of a true paranoia!"

You know, in the hands of a writer that's actually trying, this could have been intriguing. Coming from the Deadly Seven though, it's just Cutlerine being a pretentious teenager thinking that this story can be salvaged after all the stuff it's pulled.

Of course you expected Jack to win. The game literally cannot progress if Jack does not win!

: "Shut up! You were really creepy when you attacked me..."

(Sputnov): *some nonsense about buttering bread*

I really have to feel for Jack in this situation because dealing with the Deadly Seven may not be hard, but it's torture regardless.

Yeah, you lost me at bagel. Put up your dukes!

Gentle reminder that this thing is what replaces Salamence in the Pokedex.

This dude had all of the evolutions of Calfby in this game minus Ramshaker. I'm kind of glad he didn't bring Ramshaker as we don't have an appropriate counter to one yet.

Also, Calfby can evolve into Miltank even if it might be a dude? Which makes no sense if you know how cows work. (Then again, I don't have the patience to check.)

... Let me be real regarding silly comparisons, alright. In a supposed-to-be-serious story, they're completely out of place. No matter what context you put this stupid bagel thing into, it's still going to amount to "lol randumb humor".

I understand that's the point, but it's still pretty annoying.

: "Isn't that the strapline for Sabriel?"

(Adolv): "Hail, Caesar!"

You know, I didn't expect Jack to jump into the "horribly obscure references" train with these lunatics. I'm pretty sure he was trying to turn that reference into a significant phrase about you and Snakewood.

... An egg using Softboiled as an attempt to heal itself.

Benedict, you truly are a force humans cannot comprehend.

The Deadly Seven prove their worth!

Dragonite here is one of the first legitimately threatening Pokemon that the Deadly More-Than-Seven possess, as he actually has enough firepower to rip teams apart with ease. If you brought the shiny Aerodactyl from Famine's Desert with you, then you shouldn't have to worry about much, but I didn't do that.

The funny thing is that if this was Gen 6, Bellamine would have zero worries going up against this guy. But sadly this is still Gen 3.

Future Dan: But if this were Gen 9, you'd get ripped apart by Tera Normal Extreme Speed.

I mean look at that! She lost more than half her health from this alone! His only Dragon moves are Twister and Dragon Rage (fixed 40 damage) so thank goodness for that at least.

Still, fixed 40 damage is pretty hefty for most of the Crew except for Tohru to handle.

Since this is coming from one of the Deadly Seven, I can't even be bothered to take it seriously even by the standards of this game.

"Well, it seems my friend is lost in a twisted web of intrigue and lies. Why not stop and listen to a refreshing haiku?"

: "No."

[Jack slaps Asimov]

: "No more haikus, just fight me already!"

(Asimov): "Ow... okay."

The actual line isn't much better, as it's not even a haiku - it's a half-hearted limerick about Jack and his adventure in Snakewood.

He has two Pupitars and this Tyranitar. I appreciate that they're actually making an effort to be the Deadly Seven, but their chance of success is as shaky as the logic Cutlerine had when he put them in the game.

[Tohru used Rock Smash!]

: ("Chances are you're not going to get back up from that.")

Don't mess with The Crew.

And of course he has to signal his exit in the most ungraceful way possible.

Thank god they're gone, at least.

In his hot-and-cold mercy, Cutlerine leaves a healing spot for you.

Let's see what's in this house. Might be something cool.

Oh, it's something alright. This is literally the same house in the original game but the border is replaced with the Endless Plains.

There's nothing in here, by the way. This just exists to waste your time like the empty rooms in Monster Party.

Future Dan: Funny that you mention that.

She has a boat. She's a lady called Gabriella. No further context is given. Moving on.

Damn it, now I'm hungry again.

"The zombies couldn't get us, because we mimicked their every move. I doubt you can take us on!"

: "How does copying the zombies fool them in any capacity? Oh whatever. Bring it on."

There are at least two Mimic Bros. Tommo here is one of the more annoying ones.

Say hello to a new Fakemon, folks! Psypig here is not related to Grumpig in any way despite their alarming resemblance. It is a / type that will give me a ton of migraines in the future, but for now he falls victim to Jeanne's Confuse Ray.

I'm more amused at the fact you and your brother have survived this long by mimicking the moves of the undead.


I'm kidding.

Kaijilanth is actually a spriteswap of Shedinja, complete with Wonder Guard.

I noticed when it had the same cry and the fact that just one Will O' Wisp from Jeanne killed it instantly. I would assume that trying to get Kaijilanth is the same as trying to get Shedinja, but I honestly don't think it would help that much.

"Who might you be?"

: "I'm Jack."

I'm pretty sure that at this point, Jack and the Crew are universally recognized as saviors given all of their accomplishments.

(You know, except for the people we beat up, but they went after us first so it's justified.)

"May I see it?"

: "Uh, no. It's kind of valu-"

Dr. Blackthorn: "What?! Could that be... the egg containing Meteor's daughter?"

I was going to say. If he was going to touch Benedict, he would have lost an arm.

: "Uh, as a matter of fact, it is. Why?"

: "What's going on? Will someone please tell me?"

: "Quiet. The adults are talking. What's it to you, doc?"

I can imagine Jack giving the good doctor a death glare like "Oh you better not wrap me up in more bullmuk."

Dr. Blackthorn: "I had heard someone attacked the Vault, and that Meteor's daughter had been freed, so I came rushing over to see if it was true. Thank you for your time."

[Dr. Blackthorn walks off]

"Do you know where I can find Meteor, so I can take his daughter back to him?"

Dr. Blackthorn: "I believe you ought to head east to Mossdeep to find his current abode. Now, if you're quite finished...?"

: "No. Sorry, but... just who are you?"

I am very suspicious of Dr. Blackthorn from the get-go.

"Like you, the current state of affairs worries me, and I am on my own small mission to resolve some of the issues that face this region."

: "... I see. I'm sorry to have bothered you."

Dr. Blackthorn: "Not at all. Might I offer a small piece of advice?"

: "Yes?"

"Please remember that in this region, almost everyone will lie to you. I will not claim that you can trust me, but I will tell you that there are fewer than twenty honest people left in Hoenn, and that you and I are two of them. Please bear this in mind and take care."

So suddenly we're thrown back into The Walking Dead of Pokemon? I don't care if this contrasts compared to all of the dumb things we just witnessed, this is a good change of pace.

[Doctor Blackthorn walks off screen to the right]

Well, there's that. Let's go back to messing around for a bit.

They crucified a zombie. I'm curious as to who did this.

Oh no, what super dangerous zombie Pokemon does he have?

Phew, you had me worried there for a second!

Oh boy, with a name like that, we're bound for a ride.


Christ on a three-pronged stick, that's terrifying. Yuck is true to his name in that he is disgusting.

He's a giant living blob of blood that's eating a person whole. Even if you evolve it from Moulder, it still has a kid(?) inside of its mouth.

Yuck may as well be classified as the mascot Pokemon of Snakewood as a whole, as he's one of the few zombies that you can actually catch in the game. (That and he's on the boxart. He's not hard to deal with, but damn does he leave an impact.)

^ Me with this game

"I conduct research into mushrooms and mushroom-shaped Pokemon. The mushrooms here are splendid, as are the Pokemon!"

This dude sounds like he has a giant Breloom fetish. I'm staying away from him for just a bit.

This makes it 6 out of 50 at this point. I find it funny how I didn't want anything to do with Broken Hearts at first yet now I want to get all of them.

"Thought any more about joining the Army since we last saw you? Or are you getting stronger?"

I applaud them for trying to recruit Jack, but their efforts will only end in failure.

Their team is getting better at least. But it's still not enough to even scratch Jack.

"Remember that? That's the retarded quote you gave us last time. How about giving something a little better now? Anyway, what do you think? Do you want to be interviewed again?"

: "No, go away."

Tina: "No? Oh, okay... But just so you know, we'll try again 'til we get it!"

Guys, don't you have guns? Why don't you just shoot the zombies and help Jack? Bah, whatever.

"The Battle Zombie pounded the ground so hard that you both fell into a small hole! No escape, it's clobbering time!"

... That reference of all things? Sure man, whatever floats your boat.


Even if it's just a black recolor of Scizor with empty white eyes, it's pretty badass.

I still remember the Level 58 one back in Chapter 3.5. That was a jumpscare and a half.

: ("Hmm hmm hmm~")

Being both and , Jeanne melts it into a puddle of screaming, white-hot goo.

"The Battle Zombie sank wearily to its knees, your Pokemon's latest attack having destroyed half of its head. Well, half of it was missing anyway. The pit magically disappears."

I'm not apologizing.

These glitches are honestly freaking me out, man. They just... appear.

How thoughtful to add to the thirty I already have. Thank you, game.

Hey, would you look at that? They're double-teaming a zombie! Let's see if Jack can help.

: "Lady, I'm just trying to help. But if you insist..."

She has good taste in Pokemon, I'll give her that. But Ace shows her why you don't mess with Jack.

Like so - Ace's showing off!

: "Maybe you should have thought about that before jumping into a fight with me?"

"Only the extreme power of the Thirteenth Note can banish these things! ... What? No, now is not the time to battle!"

: "What in the world are you talking about? I want to help you kill this thing! Turn down the volume so you can hear me!"

This guy has the most normal name of the trainers we've encountered in this area. Aside from a few zombies, that is.

He has the usual Luxio and Luxray, but he had an Exploud on him too. Not that it's much of a hassle, mind you, but I promote variety. Anyway, let's encounter the zombie they were supposed to be fighting.

"The Battle Zombie winces as you challenge her, your voice discordant against the song that the guitarist is playing. Deflecting a green bolt of death from the guitar with her sword, she turns to face you with murder in her eyes and a katana in her hand. Because katanas are cool."

Katanas are cool, but you don't need to bring that up per se.

I have a feeling that if this wasn't a Pokemon rom hack, Cutlerine would have just cut out the middle man (Pokemon) and got straight into balls out fist-fighting.

That's definitely how it feels, given that the existence of The Crew is never (or at the very least, rarely) brought up as the reason for Jack's success.

I still question how this thing functions with a bloody neck stump for a head now. The name isn't even a pun or anything, it's just dumb. Either way, Tohru makes sure this Headdoom here has a comfortable trip back to Hell.

Aside from Headdoom, this Battle Zombie has a Grim Reaper Scyther that Jeanne roasted in no time flat.

"With a roar, the Battle Zombie throws her Pokeballs aside and picks up her sword again. You don't seem to have made much of an impression."

That's what you get.

: "I can't tell if I should be laughing or crying at how silly this is. Anyway, you guys finish beating her up. I'm leaving."

Next part's coming right up!

Team setup:

(Bellamine, , Level 38, ) - "Oh wh-- what is this awful feeling? It's coming from the area up ahead. Be careful, Jack!"
(Jeanne, , Level 38, ) - "I'm sure it's nothing, Bella. I mean, there's not much that can slow us down."
(Valor, , Level 37, has Plus Band, ) - "Hey, Ace. I just wanted to say... You're a cool guy."
(Ace, , Level 38, has Anadrin Talon, /) - "Hmmm? Same to you too, mate. I've seen how you fight. You're pretty good. Just make sure you don't let up, alright?"'
(Benedict, level 29, /) - [Jumps up and down with a subtle green aura]
(Tohru, , Level 38, /) - [Stares at Benedict and ponders about what it even is]

Back-up Team:

(Reggie, , Level 33, has Leftovers, /) - "I guess I got the bench. May as well take some R & R."
(Zagon, , Level 33, ) - "Hi Alice, how are you? It's sure been a long time since we've talked, hasn't it?"
(Alice, , level 12, ) - "Oh hi, Zagon! I'm glad you're away from all of those nasty zombies. Come here, nya!" [snuggles up to the Linoone]
(Krusha, , level 12, /) - [Is asleep]
(Ballin, , level 14, /) - "Okay, that's it. No more tag."
(Pumbloom, , level 14, ) - "...Your spikes are really sharp..."
(Cherry, , level 12, /) - "He really hasn't thought of bringing us along. Hmmm."
(Beatrice, , Level 26, /) - "Ooooh! Ambes, your little Pichu siblings are so cute!~"
(Ambes, , Level 30, ) - "Aww. Thanks, Miss Beatrice."
(Shine, , level 12, ) - "Thank you, miss! You're a nice lady."
(Spark, , level 12, ) - "I'm not cute - I'm a boy! I'm handsome."
(Helmaroc, , Level 40, /) - "I awaken to a group of little ones... That seems to be the Pikachu that dared to confront me. Interesting. I'll see how this plays out."

Portrait Credits:

PMD Sprite Repository site: https://sprites.pmdcollab.org/

- Reggie (Paras & Parasect – Non-standard sprites are made by jackolanternjackalope. Parasect doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Bellamine (Kirlia & Gardevoir – Non-standard sprites are made by JFain and Ichor)

- Alice (Skitty & Delcatty – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron)

- Ace (Taillow & Swellow – Non-standard sprites are made by FunnyKecleonMeme and Caitemis)

- Tohru (Makuhita & Hariyama – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron. Hariyama doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Jeanne (Vulpix & Ninetales – Non-standard sprites are made by Meganai & baronessfaron)

- Ambes's portraits are all default ones

- Zagon (Zigzagoon & Linoone – Non-standard sprites are made by DasK. Linoone doesn’t have any new faces.)

- Benedict (Is an egg sprite made from scratch – made by Emboarger and ShyQuietRain)

- Shine & Spark (Pichu – Non-standard sprites are by C_Pariah)

- Cherry (Oddish & Bellossom – Non-standard sprites are by gromchurch, felis_licht and ShyQuietRain)

- Letro (Magnemite family – Non-standard sprites are Fearless-Quit, Emboarger and SirViolet. Magnezone doesn’t have any variants.)

- Valor (Zangoose – Non-standard sprites are made by Emmuffin)

- Helmaroc/Wagner (Aerodactyl – Non-standard sprites are made by Caitemis)


- Meteor (Shiny version of Charizard – made by Adrian, SuperFabbioGuy and Murpi)

- ??? (Yveltal – Non-standard sprites made by Emboarger)

Check out some of my screenshot LPs!:

Pokemon Snakewood Remaster (Complete) || Pokemon Dark Rising Remaster (On-going)

Rainbow Chara X

Impossible to gauge!

Age 27
Shiny Hunting in Sinnoh
Seen 3 Days Ago
Posted 4 Weeks Ago
120 posts
7.9 Years

Ooh, Past!Dan got really angry at Cutlerine in this part. Just warning you now.

Chapter 17 - Rage Awakened



Last time on Pokemon Snakewood, the Deadly More-Than-Seven were here and we slapped some trainers around to pass the time. Let's keep doing that, shall we?

"Calling... Alright! My friends will be here soon. It's time to see who's the strongest!"

The strongest, eh? Don't play with fire or you'll get burned.

T-Fanger? What kind of trainer class is that?

That ain't no Sandslash I've ever seen before

[Theme I would use for the Telefang character battles: Digimon World Dusk/Dawn Battle Theme 3]

That, my friends, is a Denjuu. In other words, a monster from a game called Telefang - full name Mobile Phone Beast Telefang, developed by Smilesoft and published by Natsume.

People know about Telefang's existence as (fake) Pokemon Diamond and Pokemon Jade, bootleg Game Boy Color games that were made to fool people that were either too young to know anything about Pokemon or grandparents.

The bootleg Telefang cartridges had mangled translations of truly Zero Wing proportions, with one example being "Well, have you had curry". Said line pops up after you catch a monster or "get it's phone number", so you got me there.

The funny thing is that despite being pushed off as a Pokemon knockoff, Telefang functions a lot more like Digimon - there's even a Digivice-like thing called the D-Shot that allows you to summon at least two Denjuu at a time. The Denjuu are even "sentient" like Digimon, too. I think I also read somewhere that to make Denjuu stronger, you have to infuse them with like flamethrowers and M-16s and muk - it was pretty crazy.

Gaming history lesson aside, let's get back to the battle at hand.

Despite looking a lot like Sandslash, Kuriputo is actually type. As a result, Jeanne deep fries her.

The Denjuu have really weird typings that will probably catch a first time player of Snakewood off guard. Then again, I'm interested to see who'd play this game for a reason that isn't morbid curiosity.

Speaking of curry, this is the monster that says that line. Ooshe is a type and at first I had no idea what it was supposed to be. I thought it was like a giant head on a single leg, but upon further inspection, it is indeed a four-legged animal. Probably an armadillo.

Roodanse is the most straightforward Denjuu as it's a pure tornado scythe monster. It has Speed Boost to increase its already insane speed, but its fragility dooms it to Valor's claws.

They can try multiple times and the results will be the same.

Oh hey, look at that! That Brain Link is actually coming in handy.

... I, uh...

If you were expecting something cool, I apologize for getting some hopes up.

The D-Shot must be like a vastly inferior version of a Digivice if it requires charging. Why is this in Snakewood, again?

(Crypto = Kuriputo)

: "Wah! You can talk!... As opposed to my Pokemon who I can understand all of the time, I guess."

Kuriputo: "Yeah, of course. I'm not a Pokemon. I'm a Denjuu."

: "... Okay."

: ("What an odd creature...")

: ("I'll say. This adventure sure is getting weird.")

I could just surf across, but any experience is good experience.

"Ooshe and I went into the antenna tree but we came out here. Is this... some weird region of the Denjuu world? Whatever. Make your calls, because I want to battle!"

Take special attention to this line right now and keep it in mind for later. But for now, let's rock.

Fangasu is the most deceptive Denjuu yet. It looks like yet its type is actually . I'm not complaining, it just means Jeanne gets extra experience.

Strangest thing about Fangasu is that despite looking slow and bulky, it has Speed Boost(!) of all things. I'm not sure if that's a reference to a version of Telefang, but whatever.

Would normal Pokemon play be cheating by Telefang standards? I legitimately don't know.

"What is this place? Where are all the Denjuu and what are all the weird monsters in the grass? They can't even talk or anything!"

: ("Excuse me, we are not just "weird monsters". Watch your mouth before I singe it out.")

For some reason this is sort of giving me deja vu. Still though, Jeanne's dropping it like it's hot.

: "Pokemon."

Ooshe: "So... did the antenna tree take us to a third world, I wonder? Not the real world, not the Denjuu world, but a Pokemon world... interesting."

Alright, this is getting a bit confusing. So the "real world" is apparently a seperate reality than the Pokemon world? I thought the Pokemon world was the real world, just with fictional monsters n' muk. I mean, that's how it was in Gen 1 before they had to changed it to "based" on the real world.

: ("Jack, that's awfully cutthroat of you.")

: "Sorry Bella, but these guys are kind of rubbing me the wrong way. Don't you feel something weird in the air?"

: ("... Speaking of which, you're right! But I don't know what it is.")

: "Eeeh. It's probably nothing."

Okay, this actually caught me off guard. This T-Fanger lady engages you in a Double Battle, which is pretty cool I guess.

... Eruption. So, Benedict is a magma-shooting devil egg now.

Don't look at them for too long or YOU'LL GO INSANE

"No fair! What the hell are those things you have? They're sure not Denjuu..."

Lady, you should seriously be glad you didn't get sent to the Digimon world. They have some guys over there that can destroy universes.


I'm curious as to where they came from to begin with. Also, free medical kit in case you were aching.

It's... an evil ghost warthog... thing. Goosuboa is a / type that, despite its... unique appearance, is pretty average. It goes down relatively easily, but the fact it has that typing gives me awful flashbacks to Kingmadio's stall war. Sableye is cool though.

I should mention this chick has like... five Denjuu? What was the other one complaining about us having six Pokemon for?

Oh my god what is that?!

Nigera here is a type. Clearly it has... sea urchin like qualities? But honest to god though, Nigera has the highest stats out of all of the Denjuu. I noticed when I was making the list of Fakemon (by hacking them in and then erasing the saves) that it had monster stats compared to the other Denjuu. Weird.

Experience buffet aside, let's get to the one T-Fanger that's actually important to the plot.

^ See, Jack's not the only one that's confused by this awful plot.

She doesn't have anything we haven't seen already, so let's just skip straight to when we win.

"Okay, look. I'm just as confused as anyone else here. Who are you people? Where are you from? And what the hell are those weird talking things you have with you?"

Mei-Rin: "We're T-Fangers from the Denjuu world. We have the phone numbers of the 'electric monsters', or Denjuu, and when we call them on our D-Shot phones, they come to us to battle."

: "So Denjuu are intelligent?"

Ooshe: "As intelligent as you, bub."

: "I see. Well, in answer to your question, you seem to be in a different world. This is the Pokemon world, where we beat up various animals and imprison them in small balls. We can recall them from these balls to fight for us at any time. It's really just glorified cockfighting."

: [Astonished gasp]

: ("What a wonderful thing to say in front of the people that's been keeping you alive since this started.")

: ("Jack, what the hell man, I thought we were cool.")

: ("... Hmm.")

: ("For a man that's led us to success in this zombie-infested wasteland, that's a piss-poor attitude to have.")

Alright, this is just... Cutlerine, dude. Ignoring the whole character thing I have going on with Jack and the Crew, this whole exchange is a giant one-finger salute to Pokemon fans.

I'll give you that we capture creatures and put them into balls, but the point is befriending them, you pretentious idiot.

There's more to Pokemon than just battling. Like that's the kind of thing that a super-edgy "hardcore" teenager fan of the franchise says to make themselves look good.

... Just... moving on.

EDIT: In hindsight, this didn't go as I expected. Read chapter 18 when it comes out for what I really think, based on more recent knowledge.

Mei-Rin: "... Okay. So the antenna tree - that's a kind of eletric tree that teleports us through the Denjuu world - must have gone wrong and sent us here..."

"Well, I've offered to help everyone I've met so far. How about I see if I can help?"

Mei-Rin: "Oh, would you? Thanks! The antenna tree spat us out on that mountain island to the north of here. Do you know it?"

: "That's... Mt. Pyre, if I remember correctly. Okay! I'll go investigate."

Mei-Rin: "This is an interesting, if primitive and brutal, world. I might stay around and look for a bit."

Nice to meet you too, you insufferable skunt.

Hey, there's an Elixir --


[Bellamine slaps Jack hard enough that the impact can be heard a mile away]

: ("What in the world came over you over there, Jack?! That was a pretty horrible thing of you to say.")

: [Rubs his reddened face] "Damn it, ow! Bellamine... I... I don't know. Something just came over me. It didn't feel natural."

: ("Didn't feel natural? What do you mean?")

: "It sort of felt like I was being... possessed. The thing I said about what we're doing as glorified cockfighting... I have too much respect for Pokemon in general to really even think that sort of thing. This entire adventure we've fought to stop things from getting worse. I... can't describe with words how much the Crew means to me, considering that without you guys I literally would not have been able to survive."

: ("Oh... I understand. That must have been the strange presence we felt, then. Whatever it was, it's gone. But... hmm. I know you didn't mean it yourself, but you sure sent the others into an uproar. I'll go tell them what happened... but even then, I'm sure some of them will require a bit more convincing.")

: "It's... it's fine, Bella. If I'm to be any sort of leader, I'm going to have to work beyond any doubts. I can't afford to let up. It wouldn't be fair to any of you."

: ("Of course. You're a good man, Jack - don't let anyone tell you otherwise.")

: "... Right. Let's go."

The things I do to salvage characters.

... That's a very literal interpretation of tree-hugger.

"The Battle Zombie slipped on its own necrotic fluids and fell on its head!"

Wah, wah, wah.

I can't tell if she's talking about the zombie or a random Pokemon in the grass.

Alright, here we go. Mount Pyre. It's a zombie apocalypse setting and this is where the dead go to in Hoenn. This ought to be good.

... Can I be honest? This place in the original games spooked me when I was younger. The theme in this place is so dreary and unsettling that even now as a 19 year old with the theme playing at like 2 in the morning, I couldn't help but get a little paranoid.

: ("Oh hello there! I was tired of hanging around the graves all by myself. Hope you don't mind me looking for some thrills here and there.")

But hey, we get our first real good news in this episode! I've always thought the Banette family was cool.

Magic spell? Also, it's the first zombie in the game that's not outright antagonistic against us. I guess that counts for something?


... I know a certain Parasect that would like to get a hit of that. why yes i am horrible nice to meet you

Of course there is. I'm still immensely curious as to who is doing this.

Anyway, wow, that was underwhelming. I was expecting the biggest zombie ambush of the entire game, or have this place be more relevant because well - IT'S THE GRAVESITE OF HOENN AND THIS IS A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE STORY.

You would expect this place to be like the cornerstone of the zombies, yet it's pushed aside for all of the Telefang stuff. So much wasted potential.

(Admittedly, cremating Pokemon would be a practice they do, but what about ghosts? There's quite literally a ghost lady walking around here.)

Anyway, there's a second entrance into Mt. Pyre from here before you get stumped.

"Oh! These strange people started pouring out of the trees. It was shocking!"

... Imagine that, in a much better story, this line would go to mean hordes of zombies instead of the T-Fangers.

Skill Swap has and always will be situational at best. I know someone can pull off a really wicked combo with it in the real game, but me? Nah.

Oh boy. The first time I saw the fog come up in the original Sapphire, I was like "oh geez this is getting spooky i love it". Like damn son, this was my favorite place in the entire game. The music made it even better - it's such an unbelievable track that I used to come here every so often just to hear it.

Discharge is just Thunder. It's supposed to be based off of Gen 4 Discharge, but I don't see the point.

I love this place and the fact it wasn't changed spares Cutlerine some of my wrath.

"That guy told me you're the one responsible for breaking the antenna tree! I won't stand for it. Make a call!"

: "What?! Calm the hell down, sweetheart."



Name aside, LOLIDRAGON is nothing special.

Future Dan: Thank you Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid for retroactively gracing me with gifs such as this.

"Hah... Those creatures you have... they have such power. They are mindless killing machines. Perhaps that is the true difference between Denjuu and your monsters. Denjuu are too human to inflict such injury."

Am I on Punk'd or something?

Where do I begin with this? Oh, let's see - this is a Pokemon rom hack, yet it feels like Cutlerine's spitting on the premise at every turn he gets - even as far back as the Horsemen stuff.

Everything gets railroaded by the stupid crossover muk and lore that Cutlerine copy-pasted into this story in some vain attempt to make his storywriting even semi-presentable. Things like the Deadly Seven do not help in any case, either.

Secondly, mindless killing machines? Yeah, I don't care if she's from the Denjuu world, that's just laughable. "Too human to inflict such an injury" yet they're willing to jump into battle and grievously harm the Pokemon in Jack's Crew without any remorse. Mmmm, that's some good hypocrisy.

Jack's response to the T-Fanger though?


: "Watch your mouth. If my Pokemon were just killing machines, there wouldn't be anything left of your Denjuu. They've helped me survive this nightmare, and I trust them more than any other person on this godforsaken region. Now get out of my sight before I give you a more in-depth demonstration."

: ("... Jack...")

: ("Jack... we get it. You don't have to do any more for us. Let us be the ones to help you.")

: ("I mean, it's hard on all of us... You can't let these guys get to you, you know.")

; "... Thanks, guys. Now let's fix the damn tree so we don't have to deal with any more of these T-Fanger idiots."

: ("Agreed.")

"I was informed by the Denjuu up there that you broke the antenna tree. Now, as Shigeki would have done, I will destroy all those who would interfere with the trees!"

: "Alright, I know I'm like clouded by rage, but you guys are not helping in the slightest. Like damn, what is your problem? The trees really mean that much to you that you'd attack random people you think did it? I guess we just have to solve this in the only way you "too human" types seem to understand."

: ("And nigh a single tear was shed that day.")

"Pokemon... Denjuu... There's a world of difference between them. I don't think they can ever fight equally."

Of course. I mean, look at the franchise that died in obscurity while the world embraced Pokemon with (mostly) open arms.


Real fans of Telefang, I'm so sorry your game is being represented this way.

(Also, we've already seen all of the Denjuu in the game - yes, there were only like... six of them)

: "What?! You're Scottish? And a man?"

Scottish T-Fanger: "Aye! And what's wrong with an old Scottish man dressing up like a wee Japanese lassie?"

: "Everything! I'm going to defeat your Denjuu with extreme pleasure, because any monster that sides with such a weird pervert is my enemy!"

Goosuboa: "You're a really intolerant person, you know that? Jeez... Kids in this universe are nasty."

Coming from the people who bad-talk everything that's not Denjuu, this is hilarious. I'm rooting for Jack as always.

... It was an act... inside of an another act. Break out your inception jokes, folks.

: * Ellipses *

We are not amused! (puts away crown)

: "That makes you slightly less perverse, I guess. But you're still really weird."

Kei: "Cross-dressing is not a crime!"

; "This is pointless, I'm leaving."

I'll admit, Kei cross-dressing isn't weird by itself but acting like a middle-aged Scottish man was.

There seems to be a figure on the peak of the mountain. Let's talk to him, shall we?

[Current audio in-game: The... Kyogre/Groudon battle theme??]

"I had heard rumors that you were trying to put the antenna tree right, so I told everyone that you were the one that broke it. I'm quite surprised you managed to get here."

: "Who or what are you?"

"I believe you have met my associate, Mr. Gleis."

Oh no.

: "You - you're working with Gleis?!"

: "Not quite. We share the same employer. I despise my associate - all that grubbing about with corpses. Quite revolting. But enough of this! I shall now defeat you!"

[Theme I would use for Temulence: Super Cool No. 1]

I honestly adore how this guy looks. His sprite is pretty nice, especially by the standards of this game. I chose Super Cool No. 1 cause I kept listening to the song and felt it matched with this guy, so hey what can you do.

He doesn't have any new Denjuu, but he has one that's actually pretty good. Fangasu gets charred out of existence as always.

oh lord that's a ton of water

Storm Surge is essentially Hydro Pump under a different name. Given that Nigera has higher stats and gets a STAB boost from Water type moves, this is one of the deadliest attacks we've encountered so far.

Tohru puts him in his place, however. Boy, he sure does save the day a lot.

Jeanne burns the Sandslash knockoff without much effort.

"I'll shut the link between worlds for now, but I'll be back!"

: "Wow, that was impressive. Anyway, I'm just saying that the weird psychic glow from the tree has gone now. I think he meant it when he said the link had been closed."

: "Fantastic. Now, we should go. I'd quite like to challenge the Fortree City Gym, as it looked like it was still working."

Cool, cool. No more Telefang, thank god.

"We will guard this antenna tree! And make sure that no more evil leaks between the worlds!"

Wasn't this the place where the Red and Blue Orbs were being kept? Why the hell was this sacred altar replaced with a goddamn antenna tree? Or is this supposed to be another side of the mountain we just never saw before? We did enter it from a different entrance than usual.

The changes Cutlerine put into this game make absolutely no sense to anybody that isn't a cringy 16 year old.

This crazy old man wants to sing a song for us, and I'm just like "nope, I'm outta here."

What was this dude filming before we bumped in front of him?

One of my friends told me that this guy is based off of a famous composer. I guess that's cool.

Due to his predictable typing, the Film Student goes down without much of a fight. I want a Weavile tho.

Ah, he was trying to film the Pokemon version of Dawn of the Dead. Not a good idea with all of the actual zombies out and about, though.

: "Who's going to watch it?"

Film Student: "My teacher and fellow film students, of course. The Hoenn University of Film doesn't close just because of some silly invasion!"

You guys are really dedicated to the art of film-making, jeez. The University is in Fortree, by the way. Convenient!

[Jack strikes a superhero pose with Ace and Valor behind him]


Much like how Zangoose gets Zangol as an evolution in this game, Seviper gets SEVICIOUS.

It's one of the cooler new Fakemon if I'm going to be completely honest, but at the same time it's also one of the more dangerous to fight thanks to its typing and incredible strength.

Tohru must be tired of saving the day so often. Then again, he's the reason why you don't mess with Hariyama in the first place.

I didn't teach him Belly Drum because no thank you, he's already uber strong as it is. Plus the halved health thing might get in the way.

"It's the Absol... They're fighting the zombie Pokemon in the grass. I always thought they were the ones who caused disasters, not the ones to save us..."

Awwwww. Yeah, Absol are pretty cool.

Still though, now we're back to complimenting Pokemon? Let alone being consistent to the lore of Pokemon in general? Make up your mind, dude.

That said, we're going to recruit one because we desperately need a dark type!

: ("Thank you so much. I wasn't sure how I was going to survive another day out here.")

Umbra gives us some new choices, though I don't remember what his moveset is.

I should probably mention that Graveill are the second obtainable zombie Pokemon and they appear in the wild here for you to catch, so... I guess if you want them, they're there?

I get one, though.

: ("J... Jack, is that really a good idea?")

: "Don't worry, Bella. I'm sure it got sent to a seperate box or something. Besides, you felt it, right? It didn't feel... bad, did it?"

: ("Hmmm, you're right. It didn't feel particularly malicious... but still. I'm sure the team inside of the PC can handle themselves.")

... So uh, yeah. We just captured a zombie Pokemon and added them as part of the Crew. This episode sure is going some weird places.

"You can literally mine anger out of its ears."

Well, it sort of makes sense that it says that considering it's a zombie version of Marill. Poor little guy, though.

That makes it... what, fourty five or so Hyper Potions now? I'm not aching for any restoratives, dude.

Pikachu! (i'm sorry i had to do it)

"You gotta help us, man! We Film Students can't get back to the university at Fortree because these damn Witches are in the way!"

Witches? Like... of the Left 4 Dead variety?

: "Perhaps I can help you. I'm a pretty strong trainer."

Film Student: "Okay, man, but first let me see if you're up to it!"

The weird names keep on coming.

Oh hey, it's a Sharpedo. Not that he's hard, mind you, but I've always thought they were cool.

Damn, I didn't plan on this happening.

See, this Mightyena knows Roar and he switched out Tohru for Benedict. I was kind of worried that he would do something to Benedict, but nope, he just used Roar again.


: ("Wrong move, pal.")

[Ace used Aerial Ace!]

Apparently this dude is a giant stoner. Makes sense as to why he tested us to begin with, cause he just screwed himself!

Anyway, that's the end of Chapter 17. See you guys later for more of this trainwreck.

Team setup:

(Bellamine, , Level 38, ) - "Witches? What exactly does he mean?"
(Jeanne, , Level 40, ) - "Well, I guess we're going on a witch hunt now. I can makes torches for anybody that's interested."
(Valor, , Level 38, has Plus Band, ) - "Dude, all of this stuff is making my head spin."
(Ace, , Level 39, has Anadrin Talon, /) - "Don't worry about it, Valor. All you can really do is get used to it, I suppose."'
(Benedict, level 34, /) - [Pulses with a green aura]
(Tohru, , Level 40, /) - "I'll admit, Jack had me going there for a second."

Back-up Team:

(Reggie, , Level 33, has Leftovers, /) - [Keeps an eye on the Zombie Marill just in case]
(Zagon, , Level 33, ) - [Is napping without a care in the world]
(Alice, , level 12, ) - "Nyaa! What the heck just happened?! Why is there a zombie Marill in the box over?!"
(Krusha, , level 12, /) - "Oh hell no. Not touching that."
(Ballin, , level 14, /) - "Man, I want to become a Qwilshark so bad."
(Pumbloom, , level 14, ) - "... I want to become an Exploud. Hey Ballin? Let's... work on evolving together."
(Cherry, , level 12, /) - "Jack..."
(Beatrice, , Level 26, /) - "I'm curious. Does this happen often?"
(Ambes, , Level 30, ) - "Not that I'm aware of. Still though, poor Jack. I wish I could have been there to cheer him on."
(Shine, , level 12, ) - [hugs Ambes]
(Spark, , level 12, ) - "I'm sure he knows you care about him, big bro. I mean, we... do matter to him, don't we?"
(Umbra, , Level 36, ) - "I guess I've wandered across another trainer and his Pokemon. I hope this one lives longer than the last one."
(Juno, , Level 34, ) - [Floats around spookily]
(Helmaroc, , Level 40, /) - "Hmmm. This Jack they keep talking about... He does seem to be of reputable character. Perhaps I should make my presence known in the future."
(Menti, , level 37, /) - "Was... was I actually taken in by a trainer?"

Portrait Credits:

PMD Sprite Repository site: https://sprites.pmdcollab.org/

- Reggie (Paras & Parasect – Non-standard sprites are made by jackolanternjackalope. Parasect doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Bellamine (Kirlia & Gardevoir – Non-standard sprites are made by JFain and Ichor)

- Alice (Skitty & Delcatty – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron)

- Ace (Taillow & Swellow – Non-standard sprites are made by FunnyKecleonMeme and Caitemis)

- Tohru (Makuhita & Hariyama – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron. Hariyama doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Jeanne (Vulpix & Ninetales – Non-standard sprites are made by Meganai & baronessfaron)

- Umbra (Absol – Non-standard sprites are made by Emmuffin)

- Ambes's portraits are all default ones

- Zagon (Zigzagoon & Linoone – Non-standard sprites are made by DasK. Linoone doesn’t have any new faces.)

- Benedict (Is an egg sprite made from scratch – made by Emboarger and ShyQuietRain)

- Juno (Shuppet & Banette – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron & Murpi)

- Shine & Spark (Pichu – Non-standard sprites are by C_Pariah)

- Cherry (Oddish & Bellossom – Non-standard sprites are by gromchurch, felis_licht and ShyQuietRain)

- Letro (Magnemite family – Non-standard sprites are Fearless-Quit, Emboarger and SirViolet. Magnezone doesn’t have any variants.)

- Valor (Zangoose – Non-standard sprites are made by Emmuffin)

- Helmaroc/Wagner (Aerodactyl – Non-standard sprites are made by Caitemis)


- Meteor (Shiny version of Charizard – made by Adrian, SuperFabbioGuy and Murpi)

- ??? (Yveltal – Non-standard sprites made by Emboarger)

Check out some of my screenshot LPs!:

Pokemon Snakewood Remaster (Complete) || Pokemon Dark Rising Remaster (On-going)

Rainbow Chara X

Impossible to gauge!

Age 27
Shiny Hunting in Sinnoh
Seen 3 Days Ago
Posted 4 Weeks Ago
120 posts
7.9 Years

Wow, um. This is where the game starts getting serious. I'm warning you now.

Chapter 18 - Witch Hunt


After a long period of staring at pixellated clouds, I've realized something.

It turns out that Cutlerine actually did made Snakewood as an angsty teenager over the course of several years. At the age of fifteen or so (I dunno), he had gotten the urge to do some Rom hacking after playing Pokemon Quartz. In hindsight, my remark about him being a "super-edgy "hardcore" teenager" had more merit to it than I thought.

Everything about Snakewood was not meant to be a coherent story - it's all nonsense that he threw in just for the sake of hacking and it was never meant to be taken seriously. He himself states that he doesn't know how the zombie apocalypse thing mixed in with this and regrets many of the design decisions that he's made for the hack.

He doesn't even have a backstory for our main protagonist and urges the player to think of something. I suppose Jack the character can become a reality now with this information.

Cutlerine also states that he hates the formulaic plotline of the main Pokemon games - "defeat eight gym leaders, beat up some bad guys, take on the elite four, the end." Which I sort of agree with, to be honest. After reading the reddit this came from, I forgive him for some of the more technical bull**** we've seen on this adventure.

(Future Dan: Oh, you poor, naive fool. Still, took him long enough to do the math considering it literally says Cutlerine's age on his Pokecommunity bio.)

(The good graphics =/= good game thing is still an argument that doesn't sit well with me, though. Not that I don't agree that you can have a good game without amazing graphics, but the game itself has to be good enough to warrant it.)

Oh right, we're actually playing the game.

I don't think this is what he meant by warming up.

Oh boy, I just remembered. Tohru has Guts, so that paralyze actually gave him a tremendous boost. This will not end well for that poor Luxray.

Welp, that's more money to add onto the pile. We've never had money problems this entire game and it's not stopping any time soon.

: "Uh... yeah?"

Witch Doctor: "Right! Then I'll heal you, then!"

Oh see, cause she's a Witch Doctor. I'm not laughing.

By the way, I've noticed a weird glitch when you get healed and the screen fades to black. You can keep making the screen darker and darker until it becomes pitch black. It goes away when you get into a battle, but damn is it cool.

... I have no idea what this is referencing and I don't care.

Yes, the Witches are indeed based off of the Left 4 Dead kind. They're still zombies but... eeeeeh.

She had a Solrock and a Lunatone that Ace and Valor smashed into pieces, the end. Interesting thing is that if you give either of them a Moon Stone, they evolve into something called GALACTIMON. This game, I swear.

Oh damn, I wasn't prepared for a mythology lesson.

Essentially, Circe is a minor goddess of magic in Greek Mythology known best for her role in Homer's Odyessy - basically, she poisoned some dudes by lacing their food with a potion that turned them into pigs. In other words, a horribly obscure reference.

Oh hey, variety. Too bad Jeanne roasts it into barbeque cinders.


This one is just as annoying as the one before, so be prepared if you're coming this way. I think this one caught me more off guard than the other one because I wasn't expecting a random witch to have an actual zombie Pokemon, let alone one annoying as Gorelax.

That was one Body Slam! Tohru keeps getting screwed by these, I swear.

Thankfully, we manage to kill it without much resistance.

I know this is a reference to a movie or something, but technically she is dead for real now.

"This witch is wicked. Damn wicked. She also shrieks like an Easterner."

The Blair Witch is here?!

She was merely a figment of our imagination. And the codifier of all found footage movies.

You know, I didn't expect it to become an actual witch hunt. Christ.

The Maybe Witch, huh? Well, I guess she doesn't look too bad after all.

Okay, she's not so innocent if she has a Gengar ready to **** us up.

I... don't know how to feel about this? Other than Bellamine nearly died and I don't feel bad for the Maybe Witch as a result.

Where are you going with this, game?

Oh thank goodness. Still, that's hella dumb.

Since I have no ingenious commentary / synonyms for the word burn at the moment, I should probably mention that all of the Sand Witch's Pokemon are ground type. Cutlerine really liked being a master of double meanings, didn't he?

In retrospect, I'm glad I didn't bring a Water type so everybody else can participate. Trust me, I need it for the thing that's coming up in Chapter 19.

I know this game wasn't "supposed to be taken seriously", but god damn this is so silly. I can't. I just can't.

I love how he says that like "I've been waiting for you? Maybe?" The question mark makes it perfect. Also, at this point, the save for this part in particular just read "NO MORE WITCHES, DAMN" - which should tell you how done I was playing at the time. (By the way, I have like three folders just for the saves of Chapter 17, 18 and 19. Just saying.)

Future Dan: Ahahaha. That's nothing compared to the mountain of FFTA saves you had while waiting for Dark Rising 2 to finish.


: "Why?"

Dr. Blackthorn: "I've got a present for you. This Astral Lens ought to help you get further on your journey. It can see through magic."

So he pretty much gave us the Lens of Truth from Ocarina of Time.

: "And I need this because...?"

Jack, don't be rude. It was a gift.

Dr. Blackthorn: "You're surrounded by witches. Trust me, you will need it soon. Well, goodbye.

[The good doctor flies away on a Pokemon]

He might not be as bad as I thought he was.

For now though, let's go get some more useless Nest Balls and jump into the cave to the south.

Nice. By the way, it's raining inside of the cave? How the hell does that work? Snakewood logic.

Funny thing - Valor, despite the fact that his signature killdozer move right now is Slash, cannot learn CUT. Does that make sense to anybody in the audience?

"She's an angel witch! You're an angel witch! Oh. Wait. Got a bit carried away there."

These references are getting crazier and crazier.

At this point I can't help but imagine Cutlerine yelling out loud through an interstellar microphone just to narrate these. It's too wacky at this point.

She had a Gardevoir too. You know, from the other side, Gardevoir are goddamn annoying to deal with. The witches also love to super-spam restoration items such as Aconite Juice (another Full Heal item), Full Restores and so on. Due to how predictably they use items, however, it makes them easy to manipulate.

Still though, I really want to get Umbra out of storage already.

: "No, fight me."

Straight and to the point today, aren't we?

Hey, they got their Pokemon up to a respectable level. Still not a threat even if they have the BAMF known as Metagross on their side.

Benedict gained 20 levels just from sticking around on this adventure.

It also tried to learn Water Spout, which is much like Eruption in that it does more damage the more health you have.

Water Spout belonged to Wailord, so I'm very disturbed as to what could be coming out of Benedict.

"Great! You're a million times more powerful than the last time we fought you. Want to join the army? No? Okay, okay. How about giving us something for our report instead, then? A nice little quote would hit the spot perfectly."

I think that's all that has to be said.

"It revealed a hidden witch!"

Well, the item Dr. Blackthorn gave us fulfilled its purpose immediately. Almost makes me question why this sequence was thrown in. You could say the same thing for the Kecleon reveal in the original game but that actually had a purpose in introducing new Pokemon and it already blocked the way to the gym before we were given the Devon Scope, so...

This one's just "THE Witch" like she's some hot shot. BURN HER, JEANNE!

Oh wait, Benedict was the one that finished her off. That's a good alien monster egg.

Thank god, some sanctuary. I mean, the random medical kits are cool and all but I need an actual place to stay at.

"You stink of rotting meat... You must be strong to have overcome all of those zombies..."

Oh god, I never factored what Jack must smell like after everything we did. He has to smell like pure swamp ass at this point.

But hey, let's go to the local store and buy some things.

... Uh? Did we confuse the store for a pet shop? As far as I'm concerned, these animals wind up being part of a trade to get Pokemon but for now they're storage fuel.

By the way, the person running the counter is not a Hex Maniac or Pestilence. It is in fact a man by the name of Count D, presumably Dracula, but I can think of another way to take that name. (I am kind of sad it's not a Hex Maniac though for obvious reasons.)

"This city is easy to defend. There's only one ladder in, and zombies can't climb."

Why are we scared of the zombies again? They're afraid of water and sand in a region defined by water and sand, the hulk ones are surprisingly easy to beat and they can't climb.

Now, if we had flying zombies...

"My son used to send messages to his girlfriend by Wingull... Now she's dead, and all Wingull carries are military documents. But my son hides his grief so not as to cause me pain... Is that right?"

Awww, that's kind of sad really.

"Why does it have a heart-shaped sticker on it? You don't look like a heart-sticker type of person."

Oh ****, I just realized we're still using May's Pokedex. Must be pretty embarassing for Jack, all things considered.

"Where did all of the strong Trainers go? Steven Stone, Landon, Wally, the Elite Four... What zombies could have possibly defeated them?"

I have one answer for you: they got sucked up into the tornado of Bad Writing. That, or they escaped into the Hoenn remakes.

Seriously though, I don't think we ever get an answer. They, despite their incredible strength, just get eaten by zombies offscreen (except for Landon) and that's the end of their story.

Eyyyyyyyyyyyy, it's my buddy!

I... don't think this was changed from the original game? Someone correct me on this?

"This might just be the last living Marill in Hoenn... Her name is Petula Punkledunk."

: "What?"

Old Woman: "I know, I know. But my niece named her, and she has strange tastes..."

^ Cutlerine in general.

"If any zombies manage to get up here, they'll have to get past my Ziggy first!"

: ("She's clearly deluded... That raccoon would get stomped flat in a few seconds. I mean, even Zagon would have trouble with the zombies around here and she's one of the tougher ones.")

"Veracity is technically our Gym Leader right now, as head of the Honda clan, but... he's forbidden anyone to go into the gym."

... Huh. Strange. I'd like to meet this "Veracity" at the very least. Let's see what happens when we try to go to the gym.

"Veracity told us to ward everyone away."

Damn it, he was serious about the "stay away" thing. I should probably mention that even the guards are scared of Veracity and they're doing this so they don't get him angry.

Let's make our way to the south, then.

Birch decides to call us after all of this time? Well, alright, what does he have to say?

: "Hey! Long time, no speak! Where are you?"

"I thought I could use some extra strength from the Gym."

: "Fortree? What a coincidence! I just received a call via the PC from Fortree. It was from the University."

: "Oh, yeah?"

: "Yeah. Apparently, they have a sort of witch-related problem."

I can imagine Jack saying this with the most face ever.

: "What? That's slightly disappointing. I like giving missions... Oh well. There's something else I want you to look into there, too."

: "And that is?"

"Gym Leader Veracity. Since his sister Winona was taken by the zombies, he's become a little... eccentric."

... Winona's dead?

: "He's gone insane?"

: "Well... yes. Just look into it and make sure everyone's okay, alright?"

: "Of course. See ya, Birch."

^ the above line was edited because it was originally "Sure! See ya" which is way too cheery for this situation.

Anyway, Birch hangs up and now we're free to go into the large imposing building that's suddenly here now.

Looks really cool for something made out of scratch (even if it is just an edited Weather Institute/Battle Dome)

The inside isn't half bad either! It's an original building yet it looks pretty damn cool. This is the Hoenn University of Film, and in my honest opinion it's one of the best new places in the entire hack. I have to give massive props to Cutlerine for making this place look as nice as it did.

"This University is very prestigious. It's the best in Hoenn. Also, the only university in Hoenn."

It makes me curious just what was with the sudden spikes in quality with the game. Like right now we had just gotten off of the stupid **** on Mt. Pyre and all of the Witches, yet as far as I'm concerned, there's nothing overly stupid in the University.

Was Cutlerine blowing smoke out his bum when he said he wanted Snakewood to be nonsensical? I don't know and probably won't know even by the end of this game.

The Soma replaces the Mystic Water as the item that boosts Water-type moves. At the time I didn't think much of it, but with the presence of both this and the Rain Dance TM, I should have really trained up a proper Water type Pokemon.

Future Dan: The Soma? What an odd way to foreshadow Aria of Sorrow.

"Welcome to the University! Feel free to look around and consider further education in the fascinating field of film-making!"

She's not kidding, either. Once we meet up with some Film Students, they tell us some nice stuff about actual film techniques.

"Me and my girlfriend here are going to make it big in the world of experimental theatre!"

: "How is that possible?! You're deluded!"

After battle:

"We will triumph! Just you wait and see! In a few years' time, every cinema from here to Kahuto will be showing films by Zachary Quince starring Alexis Heart!"

I agree with Jack. I mean, it's a silly thing to fight about, but the guy sounds super desperate regardless.

Tilly: "No! I'm not Nurse Joy! Why does everyone keep mistaking me for her!"

: "I'm sorry, you just--"

Tilly: "What, you want me to heal your Pokemon for you? Huh? Huh?"

: "Well, if --"

Tilly: "Well, I'll do that! Here!"

: "Uh... yes?"

Man, Tilly sure is a tsundere nurse. I think I like her a bit more because of that.

... Godot. Is this a reference to Ace Attorney of all things?

I'm surprised that didn't come up during the murder mystery section of all things.

But hey, a PC! Thank god, we can finally switch the team around freely.

Umbra, say hello to The Crew. Ace, you stay behind with the others.

: ("Alright. See you later, Jack. Take care, new guy.")

: ("Ah, you must be the Ace everybody's talking about. Don't worry, I'll be fine.")

Let's make our way into the stairs ahead.

: "Oh crap, sorry man. Wait, why are you fighting me?!"

He has a Weavile. I remember when that was Alicia's special Pokemon, but now every Dark-type user and their grandmother has one.

He does have a Blissey though. Blissey are so cute, even if they're otherwise Satan to deal with on Showdown.

Well, I'm sorry lady but --

(Whitney? Is that you?)

Funny thing is that you didn't need to fight her. You could have skipped her entirely just by not talking to her... which is a pretty cool idea, to be honest.

Anyway, let's see what she has.


Milotic here is insane. Not only is she 11 levels above Umbra, but Milotic is now / . It's a typing that I wish real Milotic had, mostly because it's kind of a neat idea.

The worst part about it is despite being a Dark type, Umbra's Bite doesn't do much despite it being super-effective. See, Dark is counted as Special in Gen 3 and Umbra is a Physical attacker - so thank the Pokemon Team for the Physical/Special split in later generations.

We manage to take her down with relative ease thanks to Swords Dance, Slash, and the power of miracles.

Are you ready for this next Pokemon, though? It's going to blow your mind.



Seriously though, what the hell. How does this constitute as an evolution? Like the trolling game is getting a bit weak by now.

With that said though, I'm not going to proceed in the University for the rest of this. It's pretty late into the episode and there's things I want to show off later, so the only thing I can do now is GRINDING!

Alright, guys. This is the magic moment. Just what is Benedict going to evolve into?



To be honest, though, we're not quite done yet. There's still that Leaf Stone we had back in our inventory...


Our Benedict has finally grown into a Celebi. Wunderbar!

Now that she's not a Hyperegg anymore, she needs a new name - Chloris sounds like a good one.

Well, that's what it will be when we finally get back to the Name Rater in Slateport. (Stupid crusty old men - why can't I freely nickname my Pokemon?)

Benedict/Chloris will have to wait in the PC for now, though.

: ("As you wish, Jack. I need everybody to familiarize themselves with the new me anyway.")

Letro... your time to shine has finally come as well. Prepare yourself.


Next time on Pokemon Snakewood, we're going to explore the University some more and do some heavy-duty grinding. See you... in a few seconds!

Team setup:

(Bellamine, , Level 38, ) - "I'm quite enjoying this University. It's very homey, especially compared to many of the other places we've been to. Also, Benedict's finally hatched into a cute little Celebi!"
(Jeanne, , Level 41, ) - "Hear, hear. Although I'm not fond of the Milotic these actresses carry around... They seem like the snooty type."
(Valor, , Level 39, has Plus Band, ) - "I wonder if I could be in movies. Probably as an action star."
(Letro, level 15, /) - [Is currently training with Jack]
(Umbra, , Level 38, ) - "Hmm. I sense evil everywhere. There seems to be at least three sources, with two of them hiding in the University itself. I'd be careful if I were you, Jack...")
(Tohru, , Level 42, /) - "Wahahah! Benedict turned out to be quite the fine lass! I'd be happy to teach her a thing or two about fighting."

Back-up Team:

(Reggie, , Level 33, has Leftovers, /) - "Eyyyyy, Benedict! How're ya feelin' now that you're finally a Celebi, mon?"
(Zagon, , Level 33, ) - "She's so pretty."
(Alice, , level 12, ) - "Nyaaa~ Benedict's not an egg anymore! I guess there's hope for us in storage after all!"
(Krusha, , level 12, /) - "It looks pretty dangerous out there..."
(Ballin, , level 14, /) - "Oh snap, Benedict turned into a Celebi! And hey, Ace is back!"
(Pumbloom, , level 14, ) - "... Ooooh!" [Pumbloom edges up to Benedict]
(Ace, , Level 39, has Anadrin Talon, /) - "Godspeed, Valor. I'll be with you in spirit."
(Benedict, , level 43, /) - "Hi, everybody! Aww, it's nice to meet all of you too. I mean, now that I've finally grown up."
(Cherry, , level 12, /) - [Stares at Benedict blankly, pondering what her life is now]
(Beatrice, , Level 26, /) - [Takes a nap only to get spooked awake by Juno] "Oh, I'll get you for that!"
(Ambes, , Level 30, ) - "Yo, did... Did Benedict evolve into a Celebi? How's that possible?! It's cool, though!"
(Shine, , level 12, ) - "Wow! Everything's changing so fast around here..."
(Spark, , level 12, ) - "You said it, sis. I'm curious as to what's going to happen from now on..."
(Juno, , Level 38, ) - "Haha! You'll have to catch me, flower girl!"
(Helmaroc, , Level 40, /) - "So the egg evolved into a Celebi. Interesting."
(Menti, , level 37, /) - "What's going on... in the box over? It sounds like they're having fun..." [hacks up blood]
Portrait Credits:

PMD Sprite Repository site: https://sprites.pmdcollab.org/

- Reggie (Paras & Parasect – Non-standard sprites are made by jackolanternjackalope. Parasect doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Bellamine (Kirlia & Gardevoir – Non-standard sprites are made by JFain and Ichor)

- Alice (Skitty & Delcatty – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron)

- Ace (Taillow & Swellow – Non-standard sprites are made by FunnyKecleonMeme and Caitemis)

- Tohru (Makuhita & Hariyama – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron. Hariyama doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Jeanne (Vulpix & Ninetales – Non-standard sprites are made by Meganai & baronessfaron)

- Umbra (Absol – Non-standard sprites are made by Emmuffin)

- Ambes's portraits are all default ones

- Zagon (Zigzagoon & Linoone – Non-standard sprites are made by DasK. Linoone doesn’t have any new faces.)

- Chloris (Celebi – made by Leafia_Barrett and Murpi)

- Juno (Shuppet & Banette – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron & Murpi)

- Shine & Spark (Pichu – Non-standard sprites are by C_Pariah)

- Cherry (Oddish & Bellossom – Non-standard sprites are by gromchurch, felis_licht and ShyQuietRain)

- Letro (Magnemite family – Non-standard sprites are Fearless-Quit, Emboarger and SirViolet. Magnezone doesn’t have any variants.)

- Valor (Zangoose – Non-standard sprites are made by Emmuffin)

- Helmaroc/Wagner (Aerodactyl – Non-standard sprites are made by Caitemis)


- Meteor (Shiny version of Charizard – made by Adrian, SuperFabbioGuy and Murpi)

- Meteor's Daughter (Is an egg sprite made from scratch – made by Emboarger and ShyQuietRain)

- ??? (Yveltal – Non-standard sprites made by Emboarger)

Chapter 19 - Like a Roaring Flame


Hmmm. Change of plans.

Letro, I'm glad you've evolved into Magneton... yet I feel like there's a certain someone that can utilize the Thunderstone to greater effect.


Ambes, welcome back.

: ("Whoa, for real? I... I'm ready, I suppose.")

[One grinding session later]

Alright. This is it. You ready, Ambes?

: ("Oooh boy... Yes. Let's get this over with.")

: ("W-whoa! I'm a Raichu now! Thank you, Jack! I'll do my best to help!")

We have my friend, The Composer, to thank for making these wonderful Raichu portraits for Ambes.

These two get new moves, but I don't think I ever use them. Well, Dig's a free Escape Rope so that's well and good.

Future Dan: Dude! You just handed Bellamine one of her not-Psychic signature moves!

Let's go into this room. These are supposed to be studios, by the way, so let's go bug some actors.

Well, there's a dude fighting against a dragon. We must have invaded... every fantasy movie ever.

"What are you doing, interrupting our shoot like this? Actually, I don't want explanations - I want your blood!"

Weirdo arthouse movie directors, am I right?

Jared here has a Gigawolf of all things. Every battle here will be dangerous as they're all high levels, which answers my question as to why the University is still safe - everybody that lives in the University is stronger than the Gym Leaders!

These guys are really hardcore about film-making.

"Fine, wander around, but don't get in our way!"

Oooh, this is gonna be fun.

"I, the Trainer Knight, shall defeat thee, foul monster!"

Riveting commentary. Seriously though, everybody tells Jack to buzz off because they're in the middle of shooting a movie - which I can't blame them for.

This movie sounds hella cheesy, though.

"This dragon costume is so hot... but don't interrupt our film!"

I feel bad for the people that stuff themselves into full-body suits like this because the heat inside must be unbelievable. Especially if it's humid.

"This TM... It's a Dark move, but I don't really have enough Pokemon to make it worthwhile. You have lots of Pokemon, right? You can use it!"

Ah. That's... cool, I guess. Also, the caption is absolutely perfect.

The only time I remember Beat Up ever being used efficiently was when an opponent's Whimsicott used it on a Justified Terrakion during a Doubles match. Things got nasty for poor old Dan that day in Pokemon Showdown.

Skipping to the next studio over, it appears we've walked into a sci-fi movie.

I think we have to do this to progress the plot regardless. Besides, what are you gonna do, son?

Good answer.

I cannot trust anybody else to do this efficiently.

: ("Hey Jack? Stop interfering with these movie shoots!!")



She's literally one point away from dying and poisoned to boot! Poor girl must be suffering beyond any form of comprehension. Thank the lord this is not a Nuzlocke, otherwise Jeanne's death would have made me quit the game for good.

Yeah, you're telling me. Full Restores are godlike.

"Uh... So yeah, this puts me in an awkward situation... I guess you can stay and watch if you really have to."

Don't these guys have something called "re-takes"? I can understand being mad at Jack, though.

"A kid? Go away! I'm busy, and you're blocking the cameras!"

Are these guys making a movie about the zombie virus in Hoenn? Cause that would be some meta muk.

Sand Cloak is just Bright Powder under a different name. Bright Powder just being a held item that makes it so enemy attacks miss more often. Sounds pretty neat.

"I don't have to be on set for another twenty minutes... Want to battle?"

Oh yeah, and watch out for this lady if you hadn't gone to heal up your team.

She has the standard for Actresses around here. Hombeast is still a joke to me no matter how high its attack is.

Fun fact, Hombeast has Guillotine of all moves - which actually hit Tohru multiple times in practice.

This may not be a Nuzlocke, but when you get hit by stuff like that, that's certain death. Hence why I don't count it as canon.

Take note of this line and keep it in mind when we actually go to fight Veracity. She's not kidding about him being good.

Ooooh, a horror movie set!

: "Well, I'm sorry man, it was a misunderstand--"

Yeah no, that's not going to work, Jack.

Crystal Storm is supposedly a version of Hyper Beam, considering how Ambes was barely scratched by it and the fact the Sableye had to recharge afterward.

... Why isn't it Rock? I dunno, you got me.

These guys all have really intimidating Pokemon that just get putzed out of existence by Tohru's fists. Why can't we have Luxrays, Weaviles, and all of this other stuff? Shinx is like one of my favorite electric types yet we never run into one in the wild!

"... It was a mistake? Okay, I guess you can stay here if you like. I mean, filming is pretty interesting."

I like how the horror film guy is the chillest out of all of them.

: "Well, sorry for bothering you, lady."

: "Yeah, sure."

"... It just says 'Run up and down and scream a lot...'"


It's one of those kinds of horror movies. Watch the entire audience void their bowels when it gets made regardless.

Oh hey, something actually related to plot!

"They say they're making an experimental kind of camera down in the basement... Will it put us out of a job?"

Ominous foreshadowing there. Because of this, said camera will become relevant in... 10 minutes.

"You can't really do that, you know - you have to go get a visitor's pass from Godot. I think I last saw him in the classrooms, which are to the right."

At least this guy tells us where to go. This university's huge, especially when compared to other places in the Pokemon universe.

This is where the classrooms are at. Let's go into the room to our left.

"At many points during your journey you've smelled the odor of death, but it's never boded well. Since that same odor is coming up these stairs, you decide to steer clear of them."

Intimidating, to say the least. I'll give Cutlerine slack for this one; It's stopping you from accidentally running into the boss of this area without preparation.

"This is Film Theory class. We're learning about... well, about Film Theory."

Oh yeah, this is what I meant when I said the guys here would teach us about stuff. Let's see what they have to say, shall we?

"Of all special effects, the Praxis Effect is definitely the best, don't you think?"

To the uninformed, the Praxis Effect is a big shockwave that happens in sci-fi movies like when a planet blows up.

Like so.

: "Hell yeah!"

: "Sure, man."

Film Student: "Empathetic sound matches the film, like something by NELL played over a depressing scene. The opposite is anempathic sound - like the happy music played in the intensely frustrating Inquisition Boardroom."

I'm genuinely intrigued by this because we'll be doing the same soon enough in the LP proper. Also, way to malice the fourth wall with a shoehorn, Cutlerine.

There was also a guy who talked about Double Abyss Structure, which I unfortunately forgot to screencap:

"It's where you see everything as the characters do. Like when it's dark in a film and you can't see anything either. Interesting, huh?"

I didn't expect this rom hack of all things to teach me these things. But it's definitely appreciated nonetheless.

"This is Actress class. We're learning how to be pathetic shadows of real people."

"I've heard of a Pokemon that steals guns from corpses on the battlefield... Is that true?"

Uh? As far as I'm concerned, there is no such Pokemon. I don't think even in Snakewood there's a Fakemon that fits that description.

"We're all waiting for him, so class can begin. I think maybe he went to the dorms."

Okay, more backtracking. Let's go back to the lobby and go through the middle entrance.

The dorms have the Oldale theme for some reason. Not that it bothers me - in fact the opposite because I love the music in this game.

Oh come on, this is the way to plot. You can't stop Jack from getting this over with.

Level 50?!

On the page in Pokecommunity where Cutlerine put up the rom hack, he said the hack would be "slightly more difficult" than normal. I suppose that's fine if you spell "slightly" like this.

: ("I actually beat the Milotic?! How?!")

; ("Oh well, I'm not complaining. I hate snooty actress types.")

You have no idea the surprise I had when Ambes took her down with just three Thunderbolts. When it happened, my jaw hit the floor something fierce because I didn't expect him to have won that easily.

: "Oh come on, flattery will get you nowhere."

: "That's nice. Have you seen Godot?"

Film Student: "He's in here. Since you're cool, you can go in."

Sweet. I was expecting a fight but this is a far better sequence of events.

Before we actually go into the room Godot is in, let's search this part first.

Actress: "No. Get away from me, film student freak!"

Narration: "You think about explaining the difference between nymphomaniac Film Students and normal guys, but give it up as a lost cause."

Sage advice. Don't try to go into the stairs next to her either, because it'll just give you a message of "dude there's an entire room of people like the actress to your left, it's a bad idea". So let's pilfer the TM instead.

Finally, something practical! Since Ghost is Physical in Gen 3, Bellamine doesn't get it.

(Which you have to admit is a giant mindscrew for the supernatural and spirits to be physical of all things - thank god for the Physical/Special split in Gen 4 onwards.)

So Umbra gets it instead. He'll surely be able to use it to greater effect thanks to Swords Dance.

"My bed is full of smuggled Emolga from Unova... You didn't hear me say that! And there's nothing there anyway! ... You didn't believe me, no? Um... Here! Take one, but don't tell anybody!"

Oh right, the original draft of Snakewood was published in 2010... back when Black and White weren't even released to the US yet, I think.

The patch I'm currently playing is from 2013. I find it hilarious that Pokestar Studios was made 2 years after this rom hack with the Film University in it.

2023 Note: And you yourself are re-making a let's play from 2015. This game has been exposed to at least a decade and change of anachronisms.

[Lets out a Groudon cry]

WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST? This little flying squirrel has the most butch cry I've ever heard in my life!

The fact it replaced Groudon's slate aside, Emolga here isn't very special. I don't think he's going to be a part of the crew.

: "I think this joke has been laboured enough. Can I just get a visitor's pass so I can go and see Veracity, please?"

Godot: "Oh? Why do you need to see him?"

: "I've been sent here to check that everything is okay in this town. That includes Veracity."

Godot: "Intriguing. Such a great task for one so young. Very well, here's your pass."

I was expecting that to be much harder and stupid. Thankfully, it was not.

Godot: "Well, I don't want to keep my students waiting. I'd best be off."

[Fade to black, followed by Godot disappearing]

"Was this whole quest just an excuse for a stupid, overlong joke about Waiting for Godot? I hope not, if only for the sanity of this region..."

Ah, so that's what the reference with Godot's name was. It would make sense that Cutlerine would put in a reference to an absurdist play in a rom hack like this.

Anyway, let's go to the room on the far left in the lobby. It holds the way to Veracity's office.

Every door but the correct one will say this, by the way. Of course, the correct one has a big poster saying "VERACITY'S OFFICE" like it needed to be more obvious.

Oh, he's definitely related to Winona. They have a striking resemblance. (cough)

: "I'm Jack. Professor Birch sent me to see if everything's okay here."

: "How timely! You see, everything is in fact NOT okay here."

: "What's happened?"

: "In the basement, our researchers were working on an experimental camera that can make an entire film by itself."

: "Doesn't that render film-makers and thus yourself obsolete?"

: "I wish I thought of that earlier... Anyway, the point is that the camera is too intelligent, and has begun slaughtering researchers. This is unacceptable, so could you go and stop it please?"

Oooh, a terminator camera! While killing researchers is awful, we need to snatch this bad boy for ourselves.

"Do you always ask complete strangers to fight homicidal robots for you?"

: "Well, you look strong... And to get here from Birch, you must be powerful..."

That's true. I mean look at how far our journey has taken us since the ruins of Littleroot.

Anyway, let's make our way down to the basement.

: ("...! Jack, watch out! This is one of the forces I sensed back in the lobby!")

[Theme I would use for the X32763 Camera: Ragnda Bangda X5]

This thing is one of my favorite Fakemon in the entire game. The X32763 Camera is exactly what everybody claimed it would be - it's intelligent and strong enough to rip through the team that isn't Ambes.

Plus, its backstory is one of my favorites - it's a top secret camera that grew out of control and planned to murder everything in its path terminator style.

It is also nefariously hard to catch, as I had to retry multiple times just to get it with Ultra Balls. Jeanne is also the only person on the team that is capable of harming it to a significant degree, thanks to it being part type.

After a million Ultra Balls and some moderate injuries later, we finally manage to catch the evil camera.

"Little is known about this artificially created Pokemon, as the project was kept top secret. However, it is known to be incredibly powerful."

Damn straight.

Since X32673 is a mouthful, let's just call you Alpha instead.


Look at those stats! No wonder why Jeanne brought him to half health, look at the abysmal special defense he has.

But seriously though, Alpha is a powerhouse. Data Steam is his signature move - the animation for it is Lock-On, so it must be shooting off like a super electric bomb or something. (Which also has +1 priority if I'm not mistaken. That sir, is uh... busted.)

Alpha also has Levitate, which not only is super beneficial for his Ground type weakness but it also makes sense as he's stuck to the ceiling. It gets weird when we're outside or when the ceiling is too high to be plausible, though.

However, we don't need a fancy uber Fakemon to beat this part of the game. Ambes, take the Electric Honey instead. Don't eat it, though.

: ("Thanks, Jack. I'll try to resist.")

"Okay... So I've beaten that evil camera. Do I get a reward?"

: "A... reward?"

: "Most people have rewarded me on my journey so far."

: "Well, I won't! Now, if you excuse me, I need to attend to the Gym I inherited from my s-sister..."

Something tells me we have to go beat the reward out of him.

Let's go sneak after him. But first...

Helmaroc, I require your assistance!

: "Haha! I was waiting for this. Don't disappoint me, boy."

Guard 2: "Hey, it is!"

Guard 1: "A Witch attack? We'd better go help Veracity!"

[The guards disappear]

... Wait. Didn't we kill all of the Witches? The timing of this is very suspicious.

Let's go inside now that they're gone, though.

[Theme I would use for this pre-boss encounter: Magic Flute]

Is that...?

"The zombie is chained up."

: "This zombie... There's something familiar about her."

[White flash]

[White flash]

Winona: "Landon, your Swellow seems less well-trained than the rest of your Pokemon... What do you have against Flying-types?"

[White flash]

: "This... this is... Winona?"

: "Zuuuuuughhh! Wuhnga!"

: "Even a Gym Leader... Winona, I'll put you out of your misery!"

[Theme I would use for this encounter: Escape from the Void]

Oh god, we're doing this. The first time I saw this happen, my heart was shattered. Like... Winona was actually one of my favorite Hoenn gym leaders. And now she's a zombie ready to claw my face off.

I'm also a bit disturbed by how different she looks compared to other zombies - like why is her skin red? Did she get acid thrown on her?.

The first Pokemon she has is a Dirtkrow that gets fodderized by Raichu Ambes's Thunderbolt.

Her second mon, on the other hand, is much more of a threat. See, this Grim Reaper Scyther here is fast enough to outspeed Ambes and comes equipped with Earthquake to ruin whatever electric type you happen to bring with you that isn't the super cheap Camera fakemon.

However, Helmaroc throws some rocks her way and squishes her with zero effort. I feel bad for the person who didn't grind or catch the super tough plot-related Mons Cutlerine provided.

Iron Reaper, despite being the evolution, was far easier to deal with as one hit from Jeanne's Flamethrower killed them instantly.

Side-note, I love how Scyther isn't just immediately obsoleted by Scizor. They play different roles, which is pretty cool.


You can't be serious! Throwing a legendary like Lugia at us? I know the Camera was designed to kill this thing, but bringing this thing here makes absolutely no sense. The challenge of this rom hack should not be pitting high-level ubers against each other!

Future Dan: It's adorable how pure you are. You're blissfully unaware of the true terror that lies past the horizon.


It took practically the entire team just to kill this thing! Although I feel like a badass for getting past this without resorting to cheap tactics, this is still ridiculous.

Oh no, here comes the big brother.

: "Veracity? Oh! I see! You've been keeping her here, right? That's why you don't let anybody in here!"

I just realized the entire University plot point has been the whole "trouble in paradise" plot point that zombie shows and movies tend to throw in to show something's bad going on behind closed doors.

Despite this, the university itself is still hella cozy and it's not like anything really horrible happened aside from the evil camera. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

: "That's right! I - if they found out, they'd kill her... I won't let that happen! I have to protect Winona, you see. You're not going to tell anyone, are you?"

What Jack says next re-cements my opinion of him as a rational person.

"You can't keep her here!"

: "I'll never let Winona go! I'll fight for her life - to the end of my own!"

[Theme I would use for Veracity: Sorrow's Distortion]

Yes, I consider him so dangerous that he gets a warning for HIS ENTIRE TEAM

Veracity is, bar none, the most difficult fight in Snakewood so far. While I think his face is a bit... strange, he has a cool design with the suit and everything. As you can tell, all of his Pokemon are Fire Types - he is the reason why Cutlerine threw the Soma and Rain Dance TM at you.

For example, his first Pokemon is Psypig. This one in particular knows Fire Blast, which is a 1-hit KO to everybody that's not Jeanne. It was actually pretty difficult to get past this one, as it required a bit of teamwork from both Umbra and Jeanne.

See, when I switched to Umbra, Psypig chose to boost repeatedly with Calm Mind even though logically it wouldn't make his chances any better. I had to manipulate the AI just to make sure Psypig dies efficiently.

I think the Sword Dances paid off after all.

Ninetales was nothing special. Helmaroc just threw two Ancient Powers at her and she died. I should probably mention that regardless of how much damage you took in the fight between Zombie Winona, you get fully healed when you get into the fight with Veracity. I am endlessly grateful for that decision.

: ("[gasp] I've got to end this, quick!")


Veracity's Torkoal is the most frustrating Pokemon in the entire game, bar none. See, all it knows are status moves such as Amnesia, Iron Defense, Double Team and Toxic. He can wall you into submission with zero effort if he really wanted to, which is why I regret not teaching Taunt to Valor earlier.

(sorry if it just disappeared in this screencap)

Umbra takes him out regardless, thanks to Swords Dance and incredible luck that the Torkoal didn't use Iron Defense or something.

This guy is going to learn the hard way why you don't mess with Jack's crew.

: ("I'm sorry I have to do this, but we have to stop your master immediately.")

Damn, Bellamine!

She nuked that guy out of existence despite being 10 levels lower than him. The drop to his special defense was well-timed.

Tohru and Ambes tag-team this Flareon.

Now... Veracity's final Pokemon. Are you ready, guys?


Ho-oh too?! So even if we brought the uber camera with us, it would have gotten melted by Ho-oh! Even if we trained Ballin into a Qwilshark, he would have probably gotten 1-hit KO-ed by Earthquake!

How are you supposed to deal with this monster without Aerodactyl?!

Future Dan: Be glad you even have an option! Other less charitable games would expect you to improvise.

It has Pressure too, which makes things worse as Ancient Power only has 5 PP.

Thankfully, Helmaroc outspeeds it and lands the finishing blow. We finally got him...

[Theme I would use for this scene: Sad Story]

"Winona... I've failed you... I couldn't protect you..."

: "It's not Winona, Veracity. It's something else now, taking over her body."

: "I know... Every day, I come here with the Sacred Sword, intending to kill it... But then I see her, and I just - just can't..."

: "I can do it. I didn't know her very well. I can kill her for you."

"... Okay. Use the sword. It slices through evil with Ho-oh's fire."

Oh, that explains why he has a Ho-oh. Still though.

"One swing was all it took."

^ The above line was edited to fit the gravity of the scene, as it was originally -

This. Guess he's not named the Cut-lerine for nothing, given how efficiently he decapitated the mood too.

: "Zuuuuggghnn!"

[Winona blinks in and out of existence]

: ".... Winona..."

: "Are you okay?"

: "... I'm fine. Here, let me heal your Pokemon. It's the least I could do for you."

[Fade to black, followed by healing SFX]

"I... Goodbye."

[Veracity walks away]

... I think we broke Veracity. I didn't expect the game to hit so hard with this plot point, given how relatively happy-go-lucky the rest of the game is.

Next time on Pokemon Snakewood, we... I don't even know. See you then, guys.

Team setup:

(Bellamine, , Level 41, ) - "That... that was actually kind of heartrending."
(Ambes, , Level 43, ) - "I... I can't really keep my cool after seeing at what happened with Veracity and Winona..."
(Jeanne, , Level 42, ) - "Hmm."
(Helmaroc, , Level 44, /) - "To think, these Pokemon used to be my enemies..."
(Umbra, , Level 42, ) - "I suppose it was her time. Keeping her in that cursed form would have been a disservice to her memory."
(Tohru, , Level 43, /) - [Is sitting quietly and meditating about what's happened]

Back-up Team:

(Reggie, , Level 33, has Leftovers, /) - [Is in awe of the situation]
(Valor, , Level 39, has Plus Band, ) - "This is getting a bit too heavy for my tastes... [sniff]"
(Zagon, , Level 33, ) - "Wow... Poor Veracity."
(Alice, , level 12, ) - [Is struggling to hold back tears]
(Krusha, , level 12, /) - Is sitting with Cherry mulling over their future
(Ballin, , level 14, /) - "... Well, that just happened."
(Pumbloom, , level 14, ) - [is quietly sobbing]
(Ace, , Level 39, has Anadrin Talon, /) - [Is humbled and bows to Winona's departure]
(Benedict, , level 43, /) - "I... This journey's getting kind of depressing."
(Cherry, , level 12, /) - "What's going to happen to us?"
(Beatrice, , Level 26, /) - "Every rose wilts eventually."
(Shine, , level 12, ) - "Even a gym leader... Poor Veracity. He must be so heartbroken."
(Spark, , level 12, ) - "Yeah... but at the very least Ambes finally evolved. So there's that at least."
(Juno, , Level 38, ) - [Slams into Alpha full-force]
(Menti, , level 37, /) - "I guess... I should be lucky that wasn't my fate."
Portrait Credits:

PMD Sprite Repository site: https://sprites.pmdcollab.org/

- Reggie (Paras & Parasect – Non-standard sprites are made by jackolanternjackalope. Parasect doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Bellamine (Kirlia & Gardevoir – Non-standard sprites are made by JFain and Ichor)

- Alice (Skitty & Delcatty – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron)

- Ace (Taillow & Swellow – Non-standard sprites are made by FunnyKecleonMeme and Caitemis)

- Tohru (Makuhita & Hariyama – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron. Hariyama doesn’t have any new portraits so he doesn’t get a change.)

- Jeanne (Vulpix & Ninetales – Non-standard sprites are made by Meganai & baronessfaron)

- Umbra (Absol – Non-standard sprites are made by Emmuffin)

- Ambes's Raichu portraits were edited by my friend, The Composer.

- Zagon (Zigzagoon & Linoone – Non-standard sprites are made by DasK. Linoone doesn’t have any new faces.)

- Chloris (Celebi – made by Leafia_Barrett and Murpi)

- Juno (Shuppet & Banette – Non-standard sprites are made by baronessfaron & Murpi)

- Shine & Spark (Pichu – Non-standard sprites are by C_Pariah)

- Cherry (Oddish & Bellossom – Non-standard sprites are by gromchurch, felis_licht and ShyQuietRain)

- Letro (Magnemite family – Non-standard sprites are Fearless-Quit, Emboarger and SirViolet. Magnezone doesn’t have any variants.)

- Valor (Zangoose – Non-standard sprites are made by Emmuffin)

- Helmaroc/Wagner (Aerodactyl – Non-standard sprites are made by Caitemis)


- Meteor (Shiny version of Charizard – made by Adrian, SuperFabbioGuy and Murpi)

- Meteor's Daughter (Is an egg sprite made from scratch – made by Emboarger and ShyQuietRain)

- ??? (Yveltal – Non-standard sprites made by Emboarger)

Check out some of my screenshot LPs!:

Pokemon Snakewood Remaster (Complete) || Pokemon Dark Rising Remaster (On-going)

Rainbow Chara X

Impossible to gauge!

Age 27
Shiny Hunting in Sinnoh
Seen 3 Days Ago
Posted 4 Weeks Ago
120 posts
7.9 Years

We're nearing the end of the Snakewood. I can feel it.

Chapter 20 - Madness Unleashed


We last left Jack thinking about the impact he left on Veracity.

: "Sigh... May as well leave town. There's nothing else to do here anyway."

But as we try to leave, this lady stops us to tell us something.

"You've beaten Veracity, haven't you? I know I'm right. In that case, please take the Comet Badge!"

: "Hey, thanks. This makes me feel a little better, I suppose."

Sweet. So with that said, let's make our way back towards the strange rock formation back towards Lilycove.

Not before picking up Ace, though.

: ("I'm surprised you even did. Not that I'm complaining. Let's go, Jack!")

This measly bush was to stop you from proceeding. Umbra cuts it down, though.

Now, just what can be inside this cave? Given how this game operates, it's sure to be some crazy muk.

[Current audio-in game: Unused Route 38 Theme]

Aw piss, this is going to be fun. A Flash dungeon of all things? Really?

I like the music though. Even it's unused in normal Ruby/Sapphire proper, I find it super catchy.

Thankfully, Ambes solves that problem immediately. I know I dissed Flash earlier, but the accuracy lowering is actually pretty useful in battle.

[Theme I would use for the entire Madio family: Dry Guys]

Would you believe me that this isn't even the worst part of the dungeon?

See, where we are right now is called the Madio Caves. This is where all Madio live excluding Kingmadio for some reason. They're all level 1, they're all part Ghost and they all know Teleport. I don't know why you would catch them aside from novelty - their stats are pretty horrible.

"This cave is very strange, and quite hard to get through... I can heal your Pokemon to help you if you'd like."

Thank you, but I'll pass. I'm pretty sure that the most dangerous thing we'll face in the Madio Caves is annoyance. It may not hurt the body, but it will hurt the mind.

... Cutlerine must have really not wanted anybody to enjoy this game given how much he trolls the player.

See, on top of being a Flash dungeon, the Madio Caves are another wonderful No Direction Given maze with evil exits, rooms that all look the same and a lot of one-way returns. Even with savestates, I nearly tore my hair out just from how confusing this was.

Imagine this being put into a physical cartridge and playing it with just the hard save.

It's as if the cave itself is taunting you.

... Uh. I'm sorry guys, I literally don't have anything interesting to say about the kooky nature of this game anymore. I am drained of any interesting commentary or jape I could possibly have.

Bonemadio is /. Remember that ??? is Disease in Snakewood, so I don't want to know what Bonemadio does in its spare time.

One exit took me out here to this weird... tomato bird thing. Let's sneak up on it!

Oh, it's a cute little red bird.

He was very cooperative, as it only took one Ultra Ball to catch him. That's a good bird.

Cinderco is like a makeshift grenade. Squeeze it hard enough and it'll explode, which sounds both hilarious and terrifying at the same time. Get your own Cinderco today!

... Ahem. Well, I named him Alex because the thing he evolves into is... pretty stupid. You'll just have to see what it is.

I also went and caught an Aeromadio. I gave it no name because I do not want it to exist as part of the crew.

Maybe because Lilycove is blocked off? I feel bad for the people who can't climb ledges, because then they'd have to go through this surreal nightmare of a dungeon.

Even regular trainers are getting super beefy Pokemon. When everything gets scaled up in levels like this, it makes me seriously wonder what would have happened if Jack started in Fortree or something.

The Nido family is cool but they fall effortlessly to Psychic and Surf. (by the way, to all of you hawk-eyed readers, you'll notice Tohru is down a level. I mixed up the sequence of events between the Cinderco event and this fight. I apologize.)

I feel nothing but sympathy for these two. Hell, everybody who's stuck in the cave. Everybody but the Madio because they probably caused the Cave to happen in the first place.


[Jack covers his eyes]

I should mention that we're back in Haruko's Gym, yet this dude has Pokemon that are three times stronger than even Haruko herself. Not that their levels matter much, given how Tohru and Ambes beat them up with little effort.

Ambes evolving into a Raichu was the best decision I've made yet, given how nimble he is.

: "I am so sorry to interrupt. I'll just be leaving..."

Yes, you really do have to walk back into the pirate to go back into the Madio Caves.

Another exit took me here. This is back in the Inquisition Base near Mauville, only it's in a spot we couldn't access before. Apparently, time and space in the Madio Caves is distorted to the point where just walking in one direction can land you in the other end of the region or something.

[snickers immaturely at a pokeball having an afro]

Seriously though, this is no laughing matter. The Afro Ball is the Master Ball of Snakewood.

This should also be an omen regarding a certain group of people...

Just... ladders. Ladders everywhere. I can't tell if I'm climbing up or getting sucked deeper into the pits of madness.

[Current audio in-game: Rustboro City]

... Huh? What's the deal? This is the same place as before, only lit up and with the Rustboro City theme. It caught me off guard because I didn't expect the sudden change in scenery. There's no random battles in here, and going in an exit just takes you out of this spot.

It may not be a big change, but it seriously got me to check every exit to see where the hell this would take me.

: "You need to learn some manners, son."

: "Thank you, Tohru."

: ("It was nothing.")

You could have just said that instead of letting your Weavile get smashed to pieces.

"This is the Cutlerine speaking. Sorry, but this area is still underconstruction."

This is a patch that was made a year after the game was finished! How can this still be under construction?

: ("Jack! This is the force we encountered back around Mt. Pyre!")

: "Wait, what? This guy?"

: ("Don't be decieved. It's not a normal person... Perhaps we should leave. What if it tries to possess you again?")

: "... Yeah, let's get out of here."

Wait what? The screencap doesn't say it, but we're in Victory Road now? How are we here so early?

Lost Soul, huh? That means this guy's just a phantom. Despite that, he can still send Pokemon at us.

I feel bad for him because he must have died while trying to escape the Madio Cave. What a horrible way to go.

One of them being Cloyster, which is... Yeah, I won't go there. Ambes doesn't need that sort of imagery in his life.

For beating the ghost there, we get a Caramac. Nice.

"I'm studying the walls. They seem to be made of some sort of compressed jelly..."

Alright, I don't want to know what kind of "jelly" it is. The cave has gotten even more unappealing somehow.

And suddenly we're back in the Inqusition Base again. The game is dropping some giant "hints" as to who is returning.

"It seems to be searching for an item you don't have. This flimsy threshold guardian script therefore won't let you past."

Well, guess who has to come back here in the postgame then? (i don't want to but i'm the only one who can)

Future Dan: I haven't bothered to check but I don't think the ladder even really leads anywhere.

Oh hello, Ice Beam. You certainly made a late entrance into the game. Thanks for coming, though.

Whoa, we actually made it outside? Thank god.

But wait, the gentleman next to us wants to give us a proper Trainer hello.

Worse plagues, huh? Tell me, where have you visited that's worse than a place where society has collapsed?

This is his only Pokemon, by the way. I've seen some really kick-ass Rapidash fusions - my favorite is a Beedrill/Rapidash one that makes it look like a hell-horse with purple fire.

Everybody praising Jack and the Crew is how it should be, to be honest.

"Some odd-looking people turned me back further on. They said they were waiting for Jack, and that cake would be served."

: ("Cake? Jack, this doesn't sound good.")

: ("I'll say, Ambes. If they know who Jack is...")

: "Guys, I'm sure we'll be fine. It can't be a threat if it's someone we know."

: ("That's a dangerous way of thinking in of itself...")

For some reason, you can't step into the tile in front of Jack. It's like some invisible barrier.

Say hello to the Troll, by the way.

Troll: "Then I cut them up and glued the pieces together to make one!"


[Theme I would use for A Monster: Wasteful Anthem]

Oh my god WHAT IS THAT

It's a literal Frankenstein's monster made out of pieces of Lotad, Tropius, Numel and... is that KYOGRE?! I literally cannot hope to comprehend the madness that went into this creature's creation.

A Monster is pure type and as such has no weaknesses. It knows a bevy of powerful physical moves and can easily rip apart the team.

: ("I got frozen AGAIN?!")

Poor guy just can't catch a break with being frozen.

: ("Bellamine! Let's put this abomination out of its misery!")

: ("Agreed!")


Joking aside, I actually kind of liked A Monster. Even if its origin was probably the most gruesome thing in the entire hack yet. Poor Pokemon just had to be in the hands of a psycho Troll.

It's a very memorable moment, if nothing else.

There was an Item Ball around here that had these. Cutlerine really had an affinity for candy when he was editing the EV-Boosting items.


: ("THEY'RE BACK?!")

: ("Back for more, eh?!")

: ("... Why is everybody freaking out at the blue afro men?")

: ("Umbra, you're new to the team so I may as well explain. They are the Deadly Seven. They're people that consistently pester us on our adventure in an attempt to drive us insane.")

: ("... Oh. That explains everything. ")

: ("I'll teach them to leave Jack alone the hard way this time.")

[Upon encountering the Deadly Seven, they all do "!" except for one of them who does "?"]

"No, no, no! Karkov, we need to be perfectly synchronized if we ever want to make the National Surprise Team!"

: "There's such a thing?!"

(Asimov): "Ah, hello Jack! We've some cake, but we've ate it all, I'm afraid. It was that vanilla crazy cake I was making."

: "The one with arsenic?"

(Asimov): "The very same. Anyway, we wanted to have a talk with you! Go, comrades!"

[Asimov sics one of the Deadly Seven on Jack]

Oh hell no!

[Theme I would play for the entire 10-battle Deadly More-Than-Seven Boss Rush: IT'S PIZZA TIME.]

Damn, the Deadly Seven really want Jack dead if they're all ganging up on him ten to one.

Screw it, we're not scared! Come on, you blue-haired lunatics!

Mikov had the usual Oddish family members. This Bellossom had a very bad time going up against Ace, despite being 9 levels higher.

: ("That wasn't even a warm up! Come on!")

[Bobov attacks]

He had an Onix and two Steelix, but Tohru swung them around with zero effort. Where would this team be without you, my wonderful sumo brawler?

(Asimov): "Yes! No rests! Except maybe one, when we'll have more cake."

: "I don't want your cake! It's deadly!"

... But it tastes good, Jack. Cake's always good unless it's coconut or pineapple. (and I'm not sorry for saying that, coconut fans.)

(Asimov): "Just like my fairies! Gunkov, launch a theatrical assault!"

[Gunkov makes a gibbering yell and attacks Jack]

: ("I'd rather you not pick a fight with me.")

And by the skin of her teeth, Bellamine manages to take down this monster.

Since we're at it, Kenchukuo is the evolution of Kenchira. It is now a / beast with tremendous Attack and SPEED BOOST to ruin any poor sap's day.


... Just as I expected from the master of the skies.

"I won't be able to beat you all in one go!"

I agreed with Jack while playing because I didn't know if I could make it or not. Even if I had prepared for it, this would still have been harsh to deal with.

(Asimov): "You lose ten points! Karkov, show Jack what point reduction really is!"

(Karkov): "Pumpkin fairy POINT REDUCE SMASH BOLT!"

Prime example right here. Look at how roughshod the entire team was just from the first few fights! Healing had to be delivered in expresso because I honestly thought I was going to lose.

Ambes takes out the trash and defies his Type Weaknesses.

: ("Who wants some more?!")

: ("... *pants heavily* Maybe taunting them like this isn't such a good idea.")

(Asimov): "Robotnov, show us your Computank ability!"

(Robotnov): "Computank... activate!"

So he's actually a robot? That's not just his name?!

Don't look at them or you'll turn to stone!

Robotnov has a Crobat too, which looks much better than the pre-evolutions due to not having a mangled Gen 1 sprite.

As the ultimate insult, Ambes doesn't even use all of his strength to get rid of the Crobat.

I like to imagine Ambes uses Flash with his tail and just puts it in front of Crobat's face in an attempt to blind him.

Oh thank god. I don't know how I would have been able to continue if this wasn't here.

: "Finally!"

(Asimov): "Eat this cake!"

: "No, it's deadly! ... Actually, that's quite tasty."

See what I told you, Jack? I don't put it past him for not trusting the Deadly Seven, though.

[The cake fully heals the entire team]

If Cutlerine were just a smidge more cruel, we wouldn't even get the cake heal. Count ourselves very lucky.

(Asimov): "Now, for Rolv's super jump kick finale!"

Rolv had two Metangs, but they weren't anything special. Metagross was such a threat though that I had to put Confuse Ray on him.

(Sputnov): "Here's my latest Paranoia!"

Yeah, nobody cares. If you yell "I AM A ROM HACKER" again, I swear I will deck you on the schnoz.

His only Pokemon are three Ampharos. Their strategy is to slow you down to a snail's pace with Cotton Spore and paralysis, which doesn't affect my team at all considering the thing I'm concerned the most about is hitting hard.

: "Can what?"

(Vladov): "Can party way, way, WAY too hard!"

Whatever party these guys make/attend is sure to become a disaster.

That's one hell of a dopey sprite, but don't be fooled. Ramshaker is a monster of a Fakemon. It is a / type that has tremendous bulk and strong enough moves to stampede through whatever team you have. It is the evolution of Calfby with equal Attack and Defense, so it's like the Hitmontop of that family.

Oh and to stop you from winning too easily, this beast comes equipped with the Chaos of Oden (Focus Band) to get a sort of comeback victory.

: ("I'm not surprised such a creature associated itself with these madmen. Now, if you'll please.")

I'm glad Jeanne is here with the Confuse Ray + Burn strategy. It's surprisingly versatile given how far behind the team tends to get with levels.


Future Dan: Just wait until future games where she can do the same thing but she always has the sun out thanks to Drought.


I need to break out Reggie some time in the future.

Oh, and Tohru tore apart the Miltank while everybody else was sitting around and stretching their legs.

: ("We're almost there, I think. For a ten-on-one, they're surprisingly not that difficult.")

(Adolv): "At the ready! Let's make a FWFL scene!"

: "What the hell is FWFL?!"

FWFL is an acronym for "future wife for life." So uh...

I do not want any part of this.

Adolv has two Dragonairs and this Dragonite, who's ready to receive the most painful Ice Punch in his life.

[Ambes used Ice Punch!]

It just repeats what it said the last time, but hey a full heal is always appreciated. Even though this is the part where I didn't need it at all.

: "What does that even mean?"

I'm surprised Jack is still even trying to comprehend these nutjobs. I gave up trying a long time ago.

He has three Tyranitars, by the way. So this pretty much happened.

: ("NOOO!")

[Tohru used Rock Smash!]

: ("Done, and done. That should be the last of them.")

(Asimov): "... Wahahaha! That was a fun cake party! Shall we go, gang?"

: "Please do!"

(Asimov): "Hee! You'll see us later, don't worry. For now, just remember that there's a lot of traitors left in Hoenn you don't know about yet. Byeeee!"

... That's not sinister at all. Yeah, just get outta here.

: "Thank the lord, they're gone."

: ("I see what you meant when you said the Deadly Seven were annoying. Just hearing them talk almost made me want to tear my fur out.")

: ("The fact they were ready to jump us like that was terrible, but you should have seen their faces when we powered through them all. They were trying to hide it, but they reeked of shame and humiliation.")

: ("We got rid of them at the very least. Let's go into the nearest Pokecenter and relax.")

I can't imagine what would have happened if I hadn't prepared for this beforehand. It wouldn't have been pretty.

For all your troubles, you can get a Sun Stone here. Any evolution item is welcome as long as one of the Crew can utilize it.

It only gets better from here, guys.

Team setup:

(Bellamine, , Level 42, ) - "Our victory over the Deadly Seven should get them off our backs for a while."
(Ambes, , Level 46, ) - "We plowed through 'em! Our teamwork can get through any obstacle!"
(Jeanne, , Level 45, ) - "That it can Ambes. Although I'm not quite sure how much longer our tricks can work on these advancing threats."
(Ace, , Level 40, has Anadrin Talon, /) - "I can't believe I actually defeated one of those creatures. That's usually Bella's job, but what the hell I'll take it."
(Umbra, , Level 42, ) - "It seems like there's forces approaching outside the Pokemon Center. I'd be wary if I were you, everyone!"
(Tohru, , Level 46, /) - "Hwahahaha! Don't worry about it, Umbra. There's no need to fear underneath Jack's leadership."

Back-up Team:

(Reggie, , Level 33, has Leftovers, /) - "You guys sure are takin' real good care of those mokes. I'm curious as to what's coming up next."
(Valor, , Level 39, has Plus Band, ) - "Hey, Zagon. How was working with Jack and them like before I came onto the team?"
(Zagon, , Level 33, ) - "Let's see... It was only me, Ambes, Ace, Bella, and Reggie back then. Oh, and Benedict back when she was an egg. We weren't evolved, but everything seemed a lot easier back then..."
(Alice, , level 12, ) - "Ooooh, let me at those nasty Deadly Ten or something! They get my blood boiling, nya!"
(Krusha, , level 12, /) - Is sitting with Cherry mulling over their future again
(Ballin, , level 14, /) - "Yo, is... is it just me or is everything getting really hard all of a sudden? Like you noticed how much trouble even the active Crew had?"
(Pumbloom, , level 14, ) - "Yeah... It sure is scary to think about what else might be left to fight."
(Helmaroc, , Level 44, /) - "Master Famine was a coward compared to Jack. I made the right choice when I switched loyalties."
(Benedict, , level 43, /) - "Got your nose, Spark!"
(Cherry, , level 12, /) - "... Jack. Are you ever going to train me and Krusha?"
(Beatrice, , Level 26, /) - "Ooh, a fine job, team! Show those nasty blue-haired men what for!" [does cheerleading motions with her rose-hands]
(Shine, , level 12, ) - "Aah! You scared me, Juno."
(Spark, , level 12, ) - "Ack! I'll get you, Benedict! Uh, I mean Chloris!"
(Juno, , Level 38, ) - "So, how's it going, little Pichu girl?"
(Menti, , level 37, /) - "It's so... cold here. But the thermometer says it's 75 degrees. Well, to be fair, I can't really tell..."

Chapter 21 - Dragon King's Blessing


I still can't believe that the Deadly Seven were smart enough to gang up on you ten to one (Well, if you add all the Pokemon that's... a lot to seven. I'm not going to peek back to see how many there were).

It's an effective strategy, but damn! Let that be the standard for the game's difficulty from now on.

"We're having a drinking contest. Want to join?"

Sure, man. Jack needs another drink after everything he's done so far.

: ("Jack, are you really doing this again?!")

("This is a bottle of Shoggoth's Old Peculiar... This is definitely a step up from Magmar Whiskey. This could get messy...")

Maybe we should have listened to Bellamine's warning and not done this, but we can't chicken out now.

Why did Cutlerine make Jack sixteen again? Why didn't he settle for at least early twenties?

... Well, that's my canon age for him now.

"The Shoggoth's Old Peculiar tried to burn a hole in your soul, but you've blackened it too much with zombie killing. Okay!"

All of these messages are randomized, but I had to get this one for the sake of hilarity. The Shoggoth's Old Peculiar is like the alcohol of the Elder Gods, given how a few sips can sear through Jack's skull and make him see through time to get visions of Cthulhu.

When you lose this one, it says Jack loses ninety critical brain circuits and passes out like he's been hit with a sledgehammer.

Like hot damn, Jack even being able to handle this level of drink means he's superhuman.

Oh boy, they're losing it.

: "A bolt of lightning cleaves Tones in two... The Lord Thy God is a vengeful god..."

Shades: "Did Toneshhh jusssht die?"

Holy hell!

Never challenge Arceus's drinking skills or you'll pay the ultimate price.

I chuckled like a madman at this entire scene, alright.

"Jack threw the Shoggoth's Old Peculiar high into the sky and caught the falling drops of liquor one by one on his tongue with lightning speed. Ideal!"

See what I mean by superhuman?! That's some Matrix muk.

"Shades projectile vomited and launched himself backwards into the wall, knocking himself out! It looks like Jack won!"

Excuse me, it looks like he won? The Pokecenter is irreversibly painted with Shades's lunch!

"In time-honoured tradition, Jack stole the Film Students' wallets! Jack stole 100,000 Pokedollars!"

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Jack is the king of the drink!

However, since such an exposure to Elder God level beer would inevitably kill Jack later on, let's say this part didn't happen. 100,000 Pokedollars is chump change.

Oh yes, this is what the chef sells you. Blue Fish and Pink Ink have no worth in the game itself, but they do reference a Dr. Seuss book. The Red Stew is what we really need, although even I don't know what it's for.

Ballin, my boy. Your time has come to prove yourself to the Crew.

: [Sputters incoherently] ("Really, Jack?! I didn't expect this, but... I'm ready!")

I should mention that the entire city of Lilycove has been taken over by Inquisition Footmen and they're all back with a vengeance.

There was one right next to the Pokecenter, but Umbra took him out no problem.

[Breaks out the disco lights]

Let's dance.

Sure, it doesn't look any different than other Inquisition set-ups aside from the Cradily, but their Hombeast has a new move.

It is called... the Curse Claw. It's an instant kill if it connects and I have to assume it is painful beyond comprehension, hence why I'm glad nobody got hit by it.

... Outside of practice runs, of course.

Any experience is good experience. You know, for the longest time, I've been part of the bandwagon that didn't know what type Cradily was. I guess that was attributed to it being the only / Pokemon in existence.

That's... a bit of a departure from the rest of the dialogue we've had in this game.

Back in chapter 5 or so, this would have been phenomenal for Tohru to do. Now though, it's just his daily workout routine. He has an Armaldo too, but Bellamine blasts it away off screen.

... fun fact everybody, "hijo de puta" is spanish for motherpsyducker

Cutlerine you sneaky little man, putting foreign obscenities in your hack

"I am from Spain region. Illegal immigrants find good work here with current economic climate, no?"

Let's just move on.

"I am one of the Inquisition's Five Ninja! Authorized to use Ninja Pokemon - for Ninja purposes only!"

We're under attack by Ninjas! Everybody panic!

Oh. Why was I scared? Beedrill, even with a STAB-boosted super effective Pin Missile, couldn't take Bellamine's health below half. Poor sucker doesn't get respect until his Mega Evolution comes by in Gen VI, so for now Bellamine swats his wings off.

Sevicious was here too, but Ambes took pretty good care of him thanks to liberal use of Flash and Thunderbolt.

Sevicious and