We find our hero Jack contemplating what to do with his life regarding all of this zombie apocalypse nonsense.
That is, until he sees
a zombie getting it on I mean, a boy in peril! He rushes in to the rescue!
OH MY GOD!
What kind of sprite is this, Cutlerine?! It's like you just took a bunch of white and black, slapped it onto the Lass sprite and called it a day. Like what the hell, man? I thought the main heroes were pretty dopey looking, but this is legitimately awful.
She sends out a Polihag (groan) but it only does Bubble. Reggie does what he does best.
Oh no. Consider this a taste of what is coming up ahead. Anyway, switching to Bella.
It's just a green Charmander with red eyes. That's not a zombie. That's a recolor that needs some Clear Eye. Either way, Bellamine smears his body against the curb with Confusion.
Fuck!
I need some Clear Eye after looking at that sprite again.
B... but I thought she was a ghost? Make up your mind, Cutlerine!
Hey, thanks. I actually needed those so I wouldn't have to speed up all the time. But wait a second.
:
"What a crappy flashback."
Agreed. But we get the Running Shoes now! Also, expect Jack to get flashback headaches like those a lot. It's part of the amnesiac struggle, I'm afraid.
Oh no, not another one of you. This fight is unavoidable even if you offscreen her, as she will still walk over to you. It's dumb. Also, insert innuendo here because I used it up with the last one.
Jesus. Now that's a zombie. Poor Marill looks kind of creepy here with the soulless eyes and the blood. I don't know why it would just turn orange all of a sudden, but what the hell.
Anyway, with that eyesore out of the way, let's go talk to the fine fellow over at the corner.
"This zombie is clearly eating but you don't feel like seeing exactly what it is."
... Let's leave him alone, then.
Let's get some food of our own. Also, since this picture needs some more pizzazz I should mention that the zombified Pokemon are actually no different than their regular counterparts.
Sorry to spoil, but a majority of them don't have additional/changed types nor are they that much stronger than how they normally are. They're just edited to be a bit "spookier" looking, and that's really it.
... I immediately feel out of my league. Let's not touch those two for right now.
Go south of there and you get this. I have no idea what the Broken Heart item is. Its description is "One of many the plague has left in Hoenn" but I have no idea what its effect is. Maybe it's like a selling item. I don't know.
Anyway, since the zombie blocking the way is pretty strong, let's go on a bit of a grinding session. It ends with Reggie learning Stun Spore, along with two new additions to the team.
Meet Zagon the Zigzagoon and Alice the Skitty. Zagon is not immediately useful, but trust me she becomes a beast later on. Alice, however, is more immediately useful but might not be so important later on. Either way, they're both welcomed with open arms.
Now that the party's a few levels stronger, let's do this.
RUDE CRUDE DUDES ALERT
Guys, seriously. Watch out for this dude. He will rip you apart with little effort, considering his high level and the fact he knows Ember. If Reggie tried to fight him right now, he would have been dead on arrival. If you're playing a Nuzlocke of this hack,
be really goddamn careful as this Charmander can probably end your streak prematurely. (although why you'd do a nuzlocke of this game to begin with is a very interesting question)
No need to fear, as Bellamine puts him in his place. Thatta girl.
The person coming up after the ghost girl (???) is this kid. Unlike her however, Allen here is an absolute putz. He has two Boilbasaurs that get dumped out by Bellamine in no time flat.
What exactly are these words the zombies are saying? Cause I think that was a foreign curse word. You sassin' me, boy?
Ah! We're finally at Petalburg and... it's gone to hell, I'm afraid. Let's ask that lady over there to see if she can help u--
... Of course. This pun is lame too. I don't know why zombification would turn Squirtle into this copper-like form like he's a melting caramel bar. Damn, now I'm hungry. Anyway, once that's dealt with, let's make our way towards the house to our south.
Doesn't look that bad. I should mention that none of the music in this game has been modified to sound
spookier, so the bright and happy Petalburg theme is still playing like normal.
"This woman appears to have had her legs gnawed off, which accounts as to why her corpse is still on this chair."
... Oh. That's gruesome. Cutlerine, this is where it's at. Why can't you write more horror?
Anyway, we make our way towards the gym until we see a bag on the ground.
It's essentially the Pokecenter of this town, and I'm grateful. I'm not going back to Oldale just to recover wounds.
"It's impossible to enter. The doors are firmly wedged shut by a pile of skulls and stuff."
Damn. What even happened here? How did the zombies overtake everybody this messily?
Another person that doesn't have the green skin recolor disease!
:
"Yes, how do you know that?"
Person:
"You look like your brother. Are you going after him?"
:
"Of course."
Person:
"Then will you bring peace and put the dead back in their graves?"
:
"...
Sure, whatever."
... Well that was a thing. Goodbye, random NPC that existed for only one scene. Let's go into that house, actually.
Oh sweet!
That crate contains an infinite amount of Potions for you to take, free of charge. Although it should make you really suspicious about the road ahead if a level 9 zombie Charmander is what they throw at you right out of the gate...
"Perhaps it's the salty sea air."
If saltwater and the sea air are the primary weaknesses of the zombies (along with just beating the guts out of them), then they chose the absolute
worst region to make a Zombie Apocalypse happen. Speaking of the beach...
We get jumped by this guy.
Hey asshat, you were the one that attacked me. I didn't even want your stupid items anyway.
"I've lost everything. The zombies ate my family and destroyed my home. What little I had left was stolen by looters. Sob... sob..."
... Well damn.
"I'm trying to extract some salt from the seawater. If a zombie comes in contact with salt, they turn back into a corpse. Haitian legend said so."
Huh. I'm interested in this concept and while it cripples the already not-that-hard-to-kill undead, it's a nice idea.
"I just tried to get Mr. Briney to take me to Dewford because it's an island and zombies can't cross running water. But Mr. Briney tried to eat me!
Oh. Moving on.
Yeah, get out of the way. You're just experience fodder anyway.
We're at the woods now and I just gotta say. If you don't train here, you're going to have a bad time.
Our first encounter in the woods is Lyle here. Despite the smug look on his face, he's actually fighting us so we don't get ourselves killed from the zombies. He's actually a nice guy, even if his method is a bit backward.
: "... I'll be fine, okay."
Jack is the last person I expect to die in this story. Lyle, you're higher up on the hit list due to being a random NPC.
We go to our right here and we meet Larry the Looter. Larry here is actually an impromptu Mart and a friendly guy. He sells us stuff. That makes him a winner in my eyes.
I decided to do a bit more grinding to prepare for the next big fight. And while I was at it -
Our hero of the evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Now the team consists of -
- Reggie (Paras, Male, Modest nature)
- Bellamine (Kirlia, Female, Rash nature)
- Egg the Egg (??????????????????)
- Zagon (Zigzagoon, Female, Lax nature)
- Alice (Skitty, Female, Jolly nature)
- and now Ambes (Pikachu, Male, Quirky nature)
I think we can kick ass in style like this, even if natures will mean absolutely nothing to me later on.
Right now though, we have to deal with some trouble!
Oh no, here we go.
Yeeeeesh. They're actually kind of terrifying. And trust me, if you didn't take precautions this fight
will end you. Which is why I did this.
ALICE EWWW NOOO
This is messed up in so many ways.
... But what can I say.
She's a maneater.
Seriously though if this was Reggie or Bellamine, they would have both died horribly.
RUDE CRUDE DUDES ALERT #2
You thought the Charmander from before was bad? This guy is an utter nightmare. Despite his dopey looking gold appearance, Dirtkrow here will tear your soul out and eat it. He will make mincemeat out of all of your Pokemon -
especially if you choose Paras. Hence why finding Pikachu in this segment is
absolutely necessary.
My hero.
Yeah, suck a chode.
"We demons may possess corpses but we are honorable. You have defeated me, and so I will warn you that stronger demons than I lurk ahead in the city you call Rustboro."
oh that ain't good
Huh. That's convenient.
Oh, is Jack going to have a flashback?
[The screen darkens a bit]
Landon:
"This Stone Badge raises the Attack of my Pokemon. I got it from the Gym Leader Roxanne!"
:
"Urrghhh... That flashback hurt my brain. But I remember where these come from. These Gym Badges - the Gym Leaders have them. And the Gym Leaders are strong... So what could have possibly happened to Rustboro that even the Gym Leader was defeated? I'd better investigate - with extreme caution."
Oh ho, the plot thickens! I don't know if I've said this by now, but I like Jack. The two main characters, despite getting the silliest default names, are actually the most down-to-earth characters of the entire thing. They're nice to watch and their reactions are appropriate.
"I'm going to die... I can feel the poison chilling my blood and turning my brain to soup. Urgh..."
Oh shit is he going to turn into a zombie? Cause if so, bring it on!
... Never mind. May he rest in... peace?
Anyway, that's all for this update. Next time we tackle Rustboro and see just what the hell happened to Hoenn.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team setup:
(Reggie,
/
) -
Feeling a bit down that nothing is going his way
(Bellamine,
) -
Shivering at the sight of that headless Houndour and Alice encounter
(Alice,
)
- Feeling pretty rad that she kicked ass
(Ambes,
) -
Pretty worried for the rest of his family
(Zagon,
) -
Happy to be in the arms of a capable trainer
(Egg the Egg,
) -
Currently hatching
Future Dan: This was the start of the 100 screenshots per chapter formula that would later go on to be a staple of my LPs. Funny how this "whopper" turned out to be standard procedure by later chapter standards.
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